To see the house we took a cab to a main intersection, where Karina said I would be able to get buses and cabs easily if I chose to live there. I'm thinking I would have my own vehicle, but it's good to know. Then we walked along the side of the mountain on mostly dirt roads which were really kind of just access roads, like alleys, for the houses along the way. There were some pulperias and Karina pointed out the local tortilla lady on the corner, saying that I would love her fresh tortillas.
There are two doors into the house. We only had the key for the upper door so we walked up narrow, uneven steps between the houses to get up to the door on the second floor. I was thinking "I hope we can get a key for the lower door because I don't want to climb those stairs in the dark, or with bags of groceries."
Upstairs has 3 bedrooms and the bathroom, which has a working shower with an electric attachment for hot water. Karina said that this house always has water - at all hours every day. What a treat! There is also a spot in the front that is like a small balcony where I could put a washing machine next to the piel. (The cement water storage thing that contains back up water.) There is also another water tank on the roof for the shower.
Downstairs is a living area and kitchen with another space outdoors where I could grow plants. The bedroom I would use overlooks the adjacent mountain. I will attach photos when my computer is fixed. But basically from my bedroom window I am standing on the side of one mountain, overlooking another. Both sides are packed full of houses stacked on top of each other up and down the mountains. I have a great view of the city as well. The view from the window was amazing. I stood there for a long time, imagining what my life would be like if this were really my home, and this window was really my bedroom window. Would I be happy? I think so.
Then Jairo and Jose came in Jairo's van and met us at the corner to take us up to dinner. We had a nice time together. Lourdes has a beautiful area of flowers that she is growing. Aaron was not home - he was at the youth camp. Josselyn was there, but engrossed in a cartoon movie. Dinner was yummy and my eclairs went over well, although they really didn't rise as much as they were supposed to and we couldn't find any frosting at the grocery store, so I grabbed Hershey's syrup instead. Seems like people here don't bake desserts much. I think that's why ingredients like cocoa powder, unsweetened baking chocolate, powdered sugar, etc., are hard to find in grocery stores.
After dinner we all gathered to pray for me as I was leaving in a few days. Lourdes said the prayer. As she prayed for me and my future I had the strangest experience. I could physically feel my body in the bedroom of Karla's father's house. I felt the white walls of the bedroom around me. I felt like I left Lourdes and Jairo's living room and was standing, looking out the window again - the window that would be my bedroom window if I moved to Honduras. It was a very peaceful, happy feeling. When Lourdes was done praying I cried and told them about the experience. It was so strange and hard to describe. Like God had put me there for a taste of what my life would be like. Nobody said much about it. They just told me that God has plans for me and I need to listen to Him.
The next day was Sunday. Jose and Karla really wanted me to visit Jairo's sister, Ruth's church. We actually got there early! I met Jairo's mother. It was her birthday. Jose explained to Ruth that I was leaving on Thursday to go back to the states. She asked if she could pray for me and I said of course, I would really appreciate that. She asked if she should pray in Spanish or English. I thought Spanish would be best. Jose agreed, saying that if she speaks slowly I have good comprehension of Spanish.
We started by singing and dancing. The church has quite a band with a clarinet, a saxophone, keyboard, and guitar. Tambourines were placed on seats throughout the church for the congregation to use, and they did. Then Ruth started to speak. She came down into my row, put her left hand over my heart and her right hand on my back and she began to pray for me. She said that God was telling her that I have a lot of pain and sadness in my heart, but He will give me peace if I allow him. She said God wants me to put my focus on him, not on humans and specifically not in men. She said that there are "pueblos" (villages) with people who I will help, and God will open the "calles" (streets). He will provide for me and I should not be worried about materialistic things or having my own needs met, because He will always provide. I will help many people not in a material way, but using my heart and my words She said many things that were very powerful, and right on target as if she knew me well. In the end she emphasized that I need to let go of the pain in my heart and give it to God. She tried to help me to do that right there, but I guess I am not ready to let go of it yet. So that is something I will pray for - peace in my heart.
Later I was talking to Jairo and he told me too that he sees me with so much hurt inside. I told him that I think I have carried that pain since I was a child. I have no idea why or where it came from and I never considered the possibility of getting rid of it because it's been a part of me for as long as I can remember. It was awesome having some long overdue personal time with him. He gave me lots of good ideas about things that I can work on within myself for self growth and happiness.
But back to Ruth's church. At times I didn't understand Ruth's words - they had lots of "sh" sounds in them that didn't sound like Spanish and she would say, "God is telling me..." Later I clarified with Karla that Ruth has the gift of speaking in tongue. Karla said asked if Ruth had spoken in tongue as she prayed for me. I said yes. Karla said that when someone speaks in tongue what they say will be true. I've never experienced that before, but it was not as strange as I would have imagined. Ruth is a really powerful lady. Later she called for people who needed prayer to stand before her. Then she specifically called Jose to come up. She prayed quietly with him first. He said he was scared when she called on him specifically, but she prayed for things that had been troubling him. Later Karla went and stood before Ruth. Karla said that Ruth also was able to see what troubles were on Karla's heart in her prayer for Karla.
8/28/09 - Looking back I wish I had more time to spend with Ruth. I have been praying and praying. Many others are praying as well, but I think now that I am consciously aware of how much I am hurting inside it's harder to live with. It was a little easier when it was just a subconscious, constant part of me. Now that I have the understanding that God wants me to have peace in my heart I am waiting every day, wondering if this will be the day that He will choose to take away my pain.
That night I went to the English service at another church. I like to go there and sing the songs in English. I went with Tony's friend, Carol. Afterward she introduced me to another gringo couple and we all went to dinner at a local fast food place. It was interesting to hear their story. They are doing lots of cool things, including farming the land and teaching art at some private schools.
Everyone keeps telling me over and over that the way to return to Honduras is as a sponsored missionary. I am not very open to that idea, although I am told it by many, many people. I guess for one - I never saw myself as a "missionary". I think I have a problem seeing myself fit into that name. Secondly, while I respect that others do it, I can not see myself asking others for money to live my life. I am more comfortable with the idea of getting a job from an employer. But I am told that most places do not pay North Americans, they only accept them as volunteers. I feel like I am being a little dense in this area, not accepting what I am being told repeatedly by people who know what they are talking about. I don't know why it is so hard for me to accept. The people also say that if God truly wants me to return to Honduras it will happen, so that is what I am counting on - that I will not let my own preconceived notions stand in the way.
My Sunday ended with another long heart to heart with Karla. We talked about a lot of things. I am constantly amazed by her strength and her wisdom. She has been through some horrific struggles and God has shaped her into such an incredible woman, wise beyond her years. I respect her so much and wish I had her strength. It is something to aspire to. I am so blessed that God put her in my life.
Today Karina and I figured we would go shopping for my wedding present to Kate and Jason, as well as for some souvenirs, and a gift for my college roommate who is getting married in September. I haven't been to "Al Centro" since I first came and had the girls' day out with Karla. After that all of the political problems began and it hasn't been safe to go downtown. We thought that since it was Monday, if we had any problems we could always leave and have two more shopping days before I leave on Thursday.
Well, I got to experience first hand a manifestacion. I felt like such an ignorant North American. Keep in mind that Karina has been through this several times now. So we were walking down a street of stores when she said, "There is going to be a manifestacion." (Only she said the whole thing in Spanish.) I said no, the streets are quiet. DUH!!!! The streets were silent and empty. That was when I realized she was right.
First we heard motorcycles approaching. They came up and blocked off all of the side streets - big loud Harleys. Then we heard all of the slamming as one store after another pulled closed its metal gates down to protect themselves from looting. And up ahead I finally spotted the march. I thought we might duck down a side street but I didn't want to. I felt excited. It was supporters of Mel, the ex-president, so there were a lot of poorer people from the country. But there were also guys with bandannas covering their faces. Some of them were painting graffiti. Two guys who had already marched past us ran back and pulled a security camera off a wall. One guy wrote "If you cover this today, I will come back and paint it again tomorrow." One person yelled something at me. Karina wouldn't tell me what he said, but at that point she started walking ahead of me and told me not to speak, just keep walking faster. I had been wanting to stop and watch what the people were writing. I had said that I wished I had my camera to catch all of this excitement. She said, "They will rob your camera. This is not exciting, this is serious to them."
Finally as we kept walking against the protesters the march ended. But all of the stores were still closed. We came up to one that didn't have it's gate down and knocked politely on the door so they would know we weren't looters. A kid answered eventually. I got some stuff there, but couldn't find exactly the right thing for Kate and Jason. We agreed we would return tomorrow when more stores would be open. But then as we were walking back to get a taxi there was one more store open where I found the perfect wedding present for Kate and Jason. They were beautiful hand made wooden tea/coffee cups. The cups were made of all different shapes and colors of wood, with a stand to hold them. I loved them. I tried to find something for Karina, but ended up getting her a card which I will leave behind with some kind words.
8-28-09 - I didn't know this at the time, but that was the last day that any of the stores in Al Centro opened at all for the remainder of my time there. The next morning I watched the news and they said the stores were all closed in anticipation of more manifestaciones. The man who painted the graffiti about returning the next day was speaking the truth. They had bigger protests each day until I left. I don't know how things have been since I left. I talk to Karla often, but we haven't spoken of politics. Good thing we got down there on Monday and had God looking over us that day!
