I amazed myself today. And God amazed me too.
Today was my turn to present the message I have been preparing for my "clase homeletica". This class started about 6 months ago. Now each of us are taking turns preaching in front of the class in preparation for the real thing - sharing our message with the congregation.
The class has been difficult for me since the beginning. I didn't feel worthy to be part of it.
Then I went to the US in June and missed a month of classes. At that point I told Pastora Ruth that I should drop the class. To me it seemed like the respectful thing to do. But Pastora Ruth told me not to throw in the towel.
My classmates had all chosen themes. Most had even written an outline of their message. I was way behind.
I got right to work and presented my outline. I had seen my peers' outlines. They were filled with red ink. When I got my outline back, it said that I had a couple of things to change, but most of my red ink said that I had done a good job. I figured the Pastora was easier on me because I couldn't handle a tough critique. (I was a pro at negative self talk! That has changed a lot in the last few weeks as God has been healing me.)
Finally, this week was my turn to present my message. I had everything written, I just needed to memorize it all. So I got to work on that. Wednesday I realized they may not have anyone available to translate for me. I sent a message to Pastora Ruth asking if I'd have a translator. She said she wants me to practice preaching in Spanish.
Surprisingly, I didn't panic. I just answered "Okay". And I believed that it would be okay.
As I spent the week with my new co-workers I preached to them in my spare time - one of the benefits of working for a Christian organization. They were a big help. Saturday I spent all day reviewing. In the evening I preached to Fany.
This morning Fany came over with banana pancakes and ginger tea. I dressed in my office clothes. With a full belly, I headed off to church.
I was nervous, but not too much. My peers all said they couldn't see that I was nervous at all.
Everyone prayed for me, and I stepped up to the pulpit. Suddenly my brain went blank. My whole message was gone. Thankfully, I had three sets of notes in front of me. One written out word for word, one outline in English and one outline in Spanish. I glanced down at my notes and began.
I know the Holy Spirit took over because everything went really smoothly. Normally I struggle to read aloud in Spanish, but I practiced until my words came out right. A couple of times during the message I stumbled, but even someone speaking their native tongue can have difficulty finding the right words. I concentrated on eye contact, made sure my voice was loud enough, and did my best not to fidget. My audience even had a good laugh or two!
Pheeeeew! It was better than I hoped.
Afterward the critique was that I should have had a stronger conclusion with a time of prayer, I clicked the heels of my shoes which made noise, and I should have maintained better eye contact when reading the bible verses. Pastora Ruth showed me how to maintain eye contact by reading by using my finger to keep my place when I look up.
Not bad for someone who has never preached before, and who is speaking in their second language!
I feel really proud of myself and excited about all of the work God is doing in me. I am blessed to be in a place where I am challenged to do things I never imagined I could. I'm grateful for my church and church leaders who are helping me to become the best me I can be!
