Lately God has been talking to me a lot. I am really grateful too, because I have been seeking a lot of guidance. Sometimes His answers don't come to me in the time I wish, or the way that I expect, and sometimes they are not the answers that I want to hear. But it is always good to hear from God.
Two weeks ago when I went to the conference for missionaries God spoke to me more intensely thank I have ever experienced. It wasn't what He said, it was the way He said it. God spoke to me through a pastor from Canada who said things that no other person knows. Basically He was saying. "I see you." He didn't give me the answers I was seeking at the time, or any guidance at all. He just said Yes, I know. This and this and this is going on. I see you.
Throughout the weekend retreat He continued to say , "I see you." Sometimes it was through other people reaching out to me. Sometimes people knew what I was experiencing without me having to say a word.
At the women's retreat I heard "I see you" through a conference we watched on simulcast from Maryland. The speakers kept on greeting the 155 churches throughout the US who were also watching by simulcast. Each time a new speaker acknowledged the 155 churches within the US I felt hurt. The next morning we rejoined the simulcast and a lady talked about the 155 US churches. Then someone else said AND there is even a group watching from Honduras! First I cheered, then I burst out crying. They were saying "Hey you guys in Honduras! We see you!"
I think I have been feeling unseen, unrecognized, kind of invisible until my team from K2 came. Now the issue has come to the surface and I am able to hear God saying that He sees me.
The word "season" has also been showing up a lot in my life. My mentor from K2 and I talked about seasons. The pastor at the conference two weeks ago talked about seasons. A lady in my small prayer group talked about seasons at the retreat. A counselor at the retreat also talked about seasons in my session with him. And the pastor at the English speaking church talked about seasons. On the phone the other day I asked my mentor in the US. "Is 'Seasons' the new hip word that everyone is saying lately? Or is God trying to tell me something?" She laughed and although the phone reception was garbled I am pretty sure she said that saying "seasons" is not a new fad.
I have also been hearing from God that I am stronger than I know, and that He sent me here with a purpose. I wish I could know how strong I was. That would come in helpful sometimes, you know? However, He is also clearly telling me, "Just show up with a little bit of willingness and I will do the rest." That is reassuring.
