Today I am choosing to be grateful. Actually I am a little bit angry and sad. But I will also be grateful.
You might be more interested in why I am angry and sad because that's human nature. I'll get that out of the way first. I am angry because a girl I went to high school with died today. I am also sad because she died today. But I don't think she would want me to be angry, or sad. I know that is not the right way to handle things. So I will choose to be grateful.
In this moment, the thing I feel most grateful for is to be sitting on my bed, in my home in HONDURAS. My heart has longed to be here for more than two years. Now, with financial support from my church, family and friends, it is finally time. I am grateful that God called me to be here. I am grateful that I feel safe here. I am grateful that this home has running water. I am grateful for the garden outside with all of the different fresh fruits. I am grateful for the screens in the windows that keep out horrible mosquitoes. I am grateful for the breeze that keeps me cool every night. I am grateful for the yummy food in my fridge (especially the queso fresco), and my new stove. I am grateful for every single thing that people have let me borrow - tables, chairs, a bed, sheets, pillows, shower curtain, bathmat, nightstand, reading lamp, TV, entertainment center, clothes when my suitcase was missing for 8 days, curtains for the windows and I am sure there is more I appreciate, but have left out. I am grateful for the gorgeous woodwork and the big closet that make me feel like I am living in luxury. It is true that this home is nicer than some of my apartments in Chicago.
I am grateful to live on a street where the people sweep off their front steps and wash down the sidewalk in front of their houses. Today I saw a lady washing her front gate and the front of her house. I am grateful that I live in a gated community where the guards take your ID and write down your license plate number before you can enter. I am grateful that the guards recognize me now. I am grateful that the pulperia down the street has everything I need, from mantequilla and platanos, to ant spray. I am grateful for the Catholic Church across the street that provides me with a nightly backdrop of the most glorious music I have ever heard. That is the truth. I am grateful to have the privilege of sitting in my home and listening to their music every night. I am grateful that everyone, everywhere, always greets me with "Good morning", "Good afternoon" or "Good evening" as applicable. Yes, it is a cultural requirement to do so here, but I am still a gringa and I appreciate it all the more for that reason.
I am grateful for the community that has taken me in here. I am grateful that I can ask for what I need and trust that my needs will be met. I am also grateful that I am learning to ask for what I need and I am learning to trust, since these are areas where I needed to grow. I am grateful that the people here are teaching me more about God. About who God is and who He is not. About what He expects of me, and what he does not expect. About how to follow Him, honor Him, worship Him, love Him and receive His love. I am grateful to live in community with people who are teaching me about unconditional love in ways I never knew before. I am grateful for people whom I barely know that hug me, ask how I am doing, then genuinely wait for a response because they care about how I am doing. I am grateful when they say, "It's good to see you. We are so happy you are here." I believe they truly mean each word.
I am grateful to serve at the breakfast program. I am grateful for every hug I receive each day (which has to be more than 100). I am grateful for every smile, every hand that holds mine, every belly I can help to fill. I am grateful that I have the privilege of handing out vitamins and putting toothpaste on toothbrushes. I am grateful to pray with 40-70 children every day and help them to learn about God. I am grateful to live in a place that has so much perfect beauty in the ugliness of poverty. I am grateful to be exactly where I am.
