Two Thirds of the way through First Grade!

Doña Francisca and her flowers
I said, "I am so big!"
She said, "You are hugging me." ♥

This is Doña Francisca's grandson, Misael,
sporting Doña Francisca's broken glasses

We celebrated being 2/3 of the way through first grade with brownies!
The green cups were a huge hit. Everyone took their's home.

Today

I wished today that you all spoke Spanish. I would have video taped the Familia Fuerte class where the parents spoke about the challenges of raising their kids in this environment. I especially wished I could tape a conversation with a lady who makes all of the snacks for our clubs and classes. She is a super sweet lady, but she has a tough side too. She runs her own club as a volunteer within our program, but makes a little money preparing snacks for the five clubs in Nueva Suyapa as well as for our special classes, like Familia Fuerte.

She walks down the mountain carrying all of the food all prepared. Somehow, it is always hot, even though she arrives early. They call it a snack, but today's "snack" was two enchiladas and a fruit juice. For me it's a dinner. That's kind of the goal - to give the kids a good meal.

Today I commented to the snack lady... (You may notice, I never mention my coworkers by name here. It's not for lack of respect. It's for safety reasons.) Today I commented to the snack lady that another coworker is really stressed out. The snack lady said, "Mary Lynn, we are all under a lot of stress. I am going to tell you why. These are things that I normally would never say out loud. In fact, I haven't said them out loud before, because it is our custom to be quiet and not say a word. Even within my house we don't speak of these things because everything has ears."

She said, "If someone knocks on the door, we never answer. In fact, we all remain silent and don't move. We don't dare answer the door to anyone these days. All of my neighbors are the same. All of the doors are shut - where they used to leave doors and windows open for the breeze to pass through - now everything is closed. Even the pulperias (corner stores) close before 8 p.m. because there is nobody on the streets. It is not safe to leave your house."

(My other coworker told me that the only time he was held up, other than last week with me, was when he was inside his gated porch. He looked up and someone had a gun aimed at him. They told him to open the door. Then they came in and stole everything they could carry. Apparently this is common and has been for a while.)

Since Friday the snack lady has seen three children shot and killed. Kids she has known since they were in diapers are now dead. She saw the two boys I spoke of in my blog yesterday, ages 15 and 17 killed. They were neighbors to her and another coworker who was shaken up and told me about it Monday morning. She admitted the 17 year old is a "cold-hearted thief". She said he robbed people with a knife and would kill them if they didn't comply. But his younger brother is a member of her church and was on the right path in life. She said the gangs are killing needlessly. She also saw a boy shot to death as his sister begged for his life on Friday. She said everyone is extremely on edge.

I asked if she has ever seen violence like this before. She said it has never been as bad as it's been in the past few months. She said it's more violent, more frequent and more senseless.

Then she asked if I heard what happened here (in the place where we hold the club and Familia Fuerte) on Friday. I said, No, I was here on Friday. (I forgot until right this second that I was actually there on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, but not on Friday.)

She said she walked outside the door of the club and turned right. Two of my coworkers were behind her a few steps. They walked out and exited to the left. She was face to face with a young man who lifted up his shirt to show that he had several big firearms tucked into his waistband. She yelled back at my coworkers that they had left something in the building. They were able to duck inside. Three more young men came and joined their armed friend. She was able to talk what I would call "street jive" to them and they ended up telling her, "Mother, just go."

Gang members use the word mother to address older women whom they respect. I've heard it before when we climb up to literacy class. They talk to my other coworker that way.

In the end she was safe, and so was everyone else, but she was shaken. She said she has never felt this stressed out in her life. She has never been so afraid to walk the streets.

She was doing home visits for the kids of her club. It is mandatory that we see the kids in their home once each month. She was crossing a bridge when she recognized five of the eight young men who killed the 15 and 17 year old brothers. She said her heart stopped, but she had to act as though she didn't know them. She greeted them as she passed, and kept walking. Then she had to walk past them again to leave. She said her heart was about to explode out of her chest, she was so scared. She asked permission to pass by them because they were on a bridge. They gave her permission and she walked through. She said people know who the five boys are. They are from Los Pinos.

Then her whole demeanor changed. She said there were only five of the eight killers because a police man on a motorcycle saw the shooting of the two brothers. He called in reinforcements and they captured three of the eight killers within an hour. That fact made her very happy, even exited. It's huge progress. In the past over 90% of homicides went unsolved in Honduras, especially in areas like where we serve. Even though five of them are still on the streets, she sees progress and is clearly hopeful.

As I left the club today two coworkers accompanied me the five steps until I was in the hands of the policeman who was standing at the car, holding the door open. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back now, I see what they were doing. They didn't know that the snack lady told me all they have been through in the past few days. I've noticed they always keep the worst things secret from me. Sometimes something will slip and I know that I wasn't supposed to be told. They always make a special point to watch over me as much as possible. I hate to be an extra burden to them. They clearly have enough stress in their lives already. (I am the only one who doesn't live within that community.)

Our transportation has tightened up even more. They now arrive early instead of at the scheduled time because nobody is supposed to wait for transportation. Today they were 15 minutes early. They are also quicker to jump out and open the door for us. I don't mind opening my own door. I feel silly having a police officer open a door for me. But I am starting to understand why it is necessary.

On the way home I was talking to the officer about the young man with the guns in front of the club on Friday. He was frustrated that nobody had told him. He said as long as nobody speaks about these things the police can't do anything. But he also understands that people are scared to talk. I hope I don't get anyone into trouble by the words I write here, or by talking to the policeman today.

I talked to him about the group of missionaries in Los Pinos this week. He asked if they have good contacts there and body guards. I said I don't know, but I hope so. He said he certainly hopes so too because by their third day (tomorrow), they are going to be in bigger danger there. Everyone will know they are there, the times they come and go, and they will have a plan set for how to rob them.

To clarify, these people are not serving at the church where I used to serve. They are actually inside of Los Pinos at a carepoint which makes it much more dangerous for them if they are not accompanied by the right people. Or even if they are... I am praying for them.

Please keep my coworkers and me and the people of Honduras in your prayers. Part of me hates to share stuff like this. I know it's not fun to read. But I think it's necessary. We need your coverage in prayer.

Changes

Today I learned there is a mission team who came from the US to serve in Los Pinos. The older sister of my high school classmate is on the team.

I am shocked to hear they are bringing a team of people from outside into Los Pinos. It's been hard for my Honduran friends and missionary friends who live here to enter Los Pinos safely. I am praying for the safety of this team, and wisdom for its leaders. Especially in the days to come as news will have spread that they are there with their cell phones and whatever else they are carrying.

Yesterday I was locked out of the house until dinner time. Fany realized the lock wasn't working well. She said I should have pushed harder. But the security guard and I tried for a half an hour. We couldn't get the lock to budge.

The lock on the garage door has been broken for over a year. I'm hoping maybe both locks will be fixed. But the Honduran way is to keep trying to repair something until it's completely dead. If some oil can fix the lock for now, it will probably take a few more times of us being locked out before the lock is replaced.

Today is the day my coworker will talk to my boss about getting help for Erika and her house. I was hoping my boss would be in a more jovial mood when that conversation took place, but she was stressed out.

We had an interesting meeting with monitoreo (our in house auditors). They review our work and let us know how we are doing. It's a very in-depth process, but necessary since we are a non-profit organization who strives toward transparency and excellence.

There are now 10 different program operating under the umbrella of the place where I serve. I hate writing the name here because four of the 10 programs are fighting for justice, which puts us all in harm's way. Honduras is not used to justice or consequences. Some people are not happy with the work my coworkers do.

The good news is, they are getting a lot done. They are improving the education system. Only three years ago kids were lucky to get 100 days of school each year. On top of that, the kids only have a half day of class and schools only go to 11th grade, so it's an uphill battle. Over the past three years they fixed the payroll so only the teachers who actually teach are paid. They also increased the school year from 100 days to a goal of 215 in 2016. The school year ends in a couple of weeks. I think they will achieve their goal.

The organization I work for also helped clean up the health system by going into clinics and public hospitals and figuring out how the resources are being used. People who were stealing and selling medication were prosecuted, even when they were discovered to be high up in the government. That was a first in Honduras.

In the past year they have been working toward cleaning out the police, prosecuting dirty cops and educating new police who take their place. This will be a long and involved process, as the roots of corruption run deep. It is shocking to people to see the heads of the police force taken down, and not only removed from their jobs but also prosecuted. In the past corruption has not brought any consequences. That is changing.

People believe that the increase in robberies as of late is because the police are arresting more gang members. In the past, gangs paid off the police. Now that there are fewer corrupt cops on the police force, the gangs' hands are tied. They can't bring in all of the money they used to. Unfortunately, this is causing them to act out in more small-time robberies, like what happened to me. While the country is taking positive steps, it is a huge process. I hope what we are experiencing right now is the worst and that it will soon get better. In the meantime I am concerned for that team of North Americans in Los Pinos.

It's all a delicate and intricate system, which is hard for even the people who live in the midst of it to understand. What I do know is that in the past two weeks, three of my friends and I have been robbed at gunpoint. One friend was robbed twice! Two friends were Honduran, one is a missionary. None of us have ever been robbed with a weapon before. To me, that seems proof that random crime is increasing. People are talking. Many are anxious. We agree - something is going on. The outcome is yet to be seen.

Celebrating Birthdays

Last night we drove to Chilies which in Honduras is THE place to go for Hondurans, as well as TGIFridays. Fany has had her cousin, my landlord, Leonor visiting from Guatemala. At first Fany was all stressed out, but now Leonor has been here a while and I see that she is more relaxed.

All of us are broke, so we decided to collaborate to celebrate Fany's birthday last night. We ordered an appetizer platter to share and margaritas. It was nice to get dressed up and go out with the ladies.

Fany with her lava cake

The ladies

Tonight we celebrated Leonor's birthday. Fany made her special tacos. Once again it was a fun night among ladies.

 Today is the first day that it rained very little. I hope the storm has passed. Erika's house is still standing.

I love to hear from you

I just wrote a post about how lately I am feeling "out of sight, out of mind".  But after thinking it over, I decided to change the post.

Rather than focus on all of the ways I am feeling alone and emotionally unsupported I would like to thank the people who are taking the time and making the effort to reach out to me. I appreciate you.

I am also grateful to those of you who make time in your lives to read my blog. It makes my day when you say, "Oh yes, I read about that in your blog."

Thank you to Jamie Dorrity who said all of the other stuff about being glad I am alive after the robbery and then added, "Let me know if there is anything I can do to help." That meant a lot to me.

Thank you to Julia for your sweet note and advice. You were right on target.

Thank you to my friend Lynda who bugged me until I opened up and talked to her about everything I am feeling after being robbed.

I am grateful to Erika who, even with her house falling down, takes time out of her day to tell me she loves me.

God blessed me with a church whose Pastor survived a plane crash and is able to give me good advice and warn me about what to expect. Last night when I had three nightmares about someone coming up behind me and putting a gun to my head I didn't feel so scared, because I understand this is my new "normal" for the time being.

Thank you to those who take the time to send a little message when you read my newsletter. I don't expect all 150 recipients to respond. But the 3-10 of you who do respond - even with just one word - remind me that I am not in this alone. I need that!

Thank you to the three of you who send me an email now and then. You have busy lives but I love hearing from you. Usually I read your emails at least three times. Sometimes I take a little while to get back to you, but once I sit down and write, I try to fill my response full of things I think you'll be interested in hearing.

If any of you would like to chat by Skype or FB messenger, let's plan time to do that. Or if you see me on FB, send me a little message. Leave a message here, on the blog! It doesn't have to be frequent and it doesn't matter what method you use. I love to hear from you every now and then.

Rain

The kids in the club are finally starting to understand the idea of the library. It's so fun to see! They keep confirming with me, "Can we take the books home?" They can't believe that they are allowed to leave the premises with the books.

Only two kids forgot to bring the books they borrowed last week. I thought that was pretty good. They were really timid, as though they expected me to yell at them or punish them. I just asked them to remember the books for next week and they relaxed.

This week I made the mistake of letting them choose new books before the club started. At one point I looked around the classroom and everyone was reading. The only problem was that my coworker was trying to teach the class.

These boys are reading "The Best Nest", a book for much younger children.
I love that one boy read aloud to the other.

A children's bible made comic strip style and full of action
The kids LOVE this

Our Library!

Next week they will be allowed to borrow the books before class (because they eat after class and I don't want them to get food all over the books) but we will keep the books on a shelf by the door where they can pick up their books on the way out.

It was fun to watch them leave with their books this week. It's been pouring for days. They shoved their books inside of their shirts or sweaters and ran out into the rain. Some made a point to show me how they protected the books under their clothes.

They have also started to say please and thank you with no prompting! This is a big step. I'm super proud of them.

I saw the boys duck into a back room after the club
They discovered guitars which were just donated

Enchiladas

She brings her 7 year old brother every week.
At first he was shy, but now he fits right in.

Rain doesn't stop these boys from a game of soccer

Tuesday we started a new "Strong Families" class. We are training a group of church ladies to teach the class within their church, so there is a new dynamic to this group. Strong Families is such a special program. Parenting skills are not often spoken of here. Verbal communication in general is lacking in this culture, so most of what we talk about is new to the parents.

This week in Familias Fuertes (Strong Families) we talked about the different styles of parenting. (Authoritarian, Permissive, Negligent, and Democratic) Then we discussed the effects of the different styles on the kids. The ladies always start out quiet and kind of awkward with each other. By the end of the class they were laughing and bonding as if they had known one another for years.

Erika called tonight to say that the Alcaldia can't help her. Her home is falling off the side of the mountain. The house below added on a room and excavated the ground under Erika's house. The first rain made Erika's retaining wall fall. It is only a matter of time before the whole house falls. It's been raining non-stop since Sunday evening.

Erika and her family were hoping for help from the Alcaldia (like a mayor's office). Today was their hearing. The neighbor said he will not help pay for the damages because Erika's wall had been on his land, so he had a right to excavate there. Erika has to prove it is her land. She says the family has the paperwork, but is concerned her house will fall down before they get this worked out. She asked me if I could pay for the wall.

Just yesterday she began a beauty school through the Madres Fuertes (Strong Mothers) program through Impacto Juvenil, where I serve. Erika, her mother, her sister, her Aunt, her neighbor and my friend Ana are all signed up for beauty school. Erika and her family all qualify for this program because Erika's younger brother, Lorenzo, is in a club like my club of kids. In addition they qualify for legal assistance and, on occasion, financial help.

I called the leader of the program in Los Pinos and set up a meeting for Erika. It is possible that there may be money available for an emergency such as Erika's house. If there is not money to fix it immediately, it is probable that our lawyer can check into the property papers and see if the neighbor should be held responsible for the costs.

That's what we are praying for now. I can't build the wall for Erika. But I told her I will do everything possible to help. This is the best I can do. Walls are falling in the community where my club is held. This morning coworkers took photos in hopes to get funding for the families through our club. I saw three walls that had fallen on the way to literacy class today. And the rain continues.

This morning one of the literacy students called. They rarely have money for phone calls so I was surprised. All she said was, "Profe (short for professor), you need to bring your umbrella today!" I assured her I would. I asked if it was safe for me to come up. She assured me it is, as long as I have an umbrella.

It stopped raining long enough for us to walk up. Then it poured as soon as we got inside the classroom. Rain dripped down through holes in the tin roof, but nobody paid attention to the leaks. We had a special celebration today with brownies and Coca Cola. We are 2/3 done with 1st grade!

Then the rain stopped and we hiked back down the mountain. As soon as I got home it started raining again and it has been raining ever since. Yesterday both Pastora Ruth and a coworker compared this weather to Hurricane Mitch. They said it started raining just like this and it never stopped. We are thankful there is not any wind. To me, it feels like the worst has past, although I thought that two days ago too. The rain is constant but it's not as heavy as it was 24 hours ago.

Brownies! But the biggest hit was the green plastic cups.
One family took the plates, declaring they were still clean. Another lady was excited to take the green plastic cups.

Lots of clouds but they weren't so dark in this direction

Hello France!

I've noticed an interesting turn of events with this blog. There is a large following from France. If the statistics are correct, there are 4x more readers in France than any other country.

Hello French people! Welcome! Please let me know if there is anything you would like to know more about regarding life as a missionary in Honduras. I appreciate your readership.

Erika's House

We got heavy rains last night. It was the kind of rain that is so loud hard to sleep.

Erika has been in contact with me consistently for about a week, trying to cheer me up after she heard I was robbed. At 5 a.m. she sent a message saying the wall of her house fell down.

Unfortunately, this is a common problem in Los Pinos. The mountains are steep and the material used to build homes is often whatever the people scavenge in the street. These poorly constructed homes perched on the side of a mountain, in an area that receives heavy rainfall, really don't stand a chance.

Turned out it wasn't a wall of the house itself. It was the retaining wall that keeps the house from falling down the mountain. So now she is very sad and worried that the house will fall.

Her neighbors are building a house below and excavated all the earth that was keeping the retaining wall (and the house) in place.

She and her boyfriend went to the Alcaldia, which is like the mayor's office, to see if they could get help. The sad thing is that I'm sure half of Los Pinos needs help today. We've had lots of rain, but none this heavy for a long period of time. It rained for about 10 hours last night.

Fany's house is flooded. Although the sun came out 6 hours ago, there is still water dripping from her ceiling. I am blessed. I only have two leaks and neither is big.

The wooden slats are Erika's house:

I woke up with a fever last night which has now turned into a sore throat and stuffy nose. I'm drinking liquids and waiting for it to pass. All of my coworkers had this last week. They will tell me to take antibiotics. They took antibiotics for one day and they believe the medicine caused it to go away. I am really concerned about the manner the people here take antibiotics. One day an infection is going to come through Honduras and I will be the only person left standing because everyone else will be immune to antibiotics. I don't understand why there is not more education on this topic.

Sexual Abuse Prevention Campaign

A couple of friends have written to ask how I am doing since I was held up at gunpoint last week. I kept really busy and that has made things easier. Yesterday I realized I am not as "okay" as I thought I was. I was traveling home from work, feeling relaxed and safe in a car with a driver and guard. A construction guy stood in the middle of the road and stopped our car so the other lane of traffic could pass. It was a very normal experience. However, my heart stopped and I felt terrified for a moment. For some reason I thought the guy was standing in the middle of the road to stop our car and rob us, although it was clear that we were in a construction zone. My mind is not back to normal yet. I think it will take a little while.

I am functioning fine at work. We had a campaign about sexual abuse prevention in one of the public schools this week. It was fun! But as soon as my mind is free I am really mad at myself for being so stupid. I should have never had my purse with me and I shouldn't have been carrying cash or all of my ID inside of that purse. That was just dumb. I made myself a perfect target.

I lost my phone, $225 in cash, my credit and debit card, my Colorado driver's license, my Honduran driver's license and my residency card.

Thanks to one of my friends in Salt Lake and my pastor, I got a new phone today. My SLC friend ordered a phone with his Amazon Prime and even paid for more than half. He sent to my Pastor's wife who was visiting the US this week.

Monday the head of security from my work heard about what happened. He sent a driver and a police officer with me to file a police report. Then we were able to get my Honduran driver's license and my residency card all in one day, which is a miracle. Sometimes the residency card alone can be an all day affair.

It was super comforting to have them with me, and helpful to have the police officer by my side. There were several things she was able to pull off that I couldn't have accomplished alone. At the DMV there was literally no parking. The lot and the streets outside were full with people who were in an all day class. An officer who works at the DMV took my keys and parked my car in a place that would have been off limits to me. Being accompanied by a uniformed officer was extremely helpful that day. I am grateful to I serve an organization who cares for me so well.

My credit cards were all cancelled with no problem. There was no fraudulent activity. I did learn that my USBank card needs to be cancelled with a phone call, which doesn't work when your phone is stolen.

The thieves who robbed me were after phones, cash, and jewelry, not credit cards. They put their hands down my shirt looking for necklaces. I was happy to be wearing no jewelry, but not so happy to have a man's hand down my shirt.

The only thing that's still lingering is how I'll get my Colorado driver's license. I need someone to sign my name on a one page form and mail it from outside the state of Colorado to the Colorado DMV. Then the DMV will mail my license to their address.

I'm grateful to have most things already replaced. I never realized how much I loved my wallet. Sounds silly, but it was so perfect for me. I miss it.

Of course I am grateful the whole situation was not worse. They could have stolen my car and they could have physically harmed us. But they didn't.

The thieves threw my keys over a wall and down the side of a mountain so they would have time to escape and we could not chase after them. I figured the keys were gone forever. It was so dark and steep. We climbed over barbed wire fences through chest high grass in the pitch black to find the keys. My friend walked directly to where they were, bent over, put his hand down and picked them up. To me, that was a miracle.

In some ways I'm fine. In other ways it will take a while to recover.

The sexual abuse prevention campaign went well and was a nice distraction. Here are some photos:

Learning private and public parts of the body

Good touch/bad touch

Playing games

Security Plan: Say no, scream, and run
(Of course, this doesn't work if someone is pressing the point of a gun to your back.)
The kids found my rendition hilarious

Check out what is under the monkey bars

The swingset

Soccer during recess

Other volunteers

Cute boys, gorgeous background

Burning the garbage at the end of the day

Girls cleaning the "playground"

This boy is mute. He found a friend in my coworker
and never left his side for three days.

The morning group

Festival at the end

Preparing for the festival

Great snacks!

Festival

"I can do everything in Christ"

"I love my body"

This boy shyly asked for a photo. How could I say no?
"Take care of your hygiene"

Then all of the kids wanted a photo!
"Protect your body" "Say no to drugs" "Care for your body always"

Robbed

I was just robbed for the first time. I happened to be carrying more money than I ever carry, and all of my personal ID's except for my passport. I know better and I feel really stupid now.

Someone put a pistol to my back, took my wallet out of my purse, threw my car and house keys away (but I found them, thank God), took my phone and left.

I am still processing it. It hasn't sunken in yet. My pastor agreed to lend me money for gas since I am on E. I have to figure out a way to get some cash and get my credit cards replaced. Unfortunately everything requires a telephone call, and they stole my phone...

This could happen anywhere, but sometimes it's not so fun to live in Honduras.

New Brave Colors

Monday we completed the library! It was extra special because the kids from my club were there, so they got to be the first to use the library. Normally we meet on Wednesday but this week Wednesday through Friday were government holidays. We moved our club to Monday this week so the kids wouldn't miss out.

The library

We have more books stored in the cabinet which we will rotate in

Signing out books!

Wednesday's club was on Monday and Thursday's literacy class was scheduled for Tuesday. But I had to cancel at the last minute because I couldn't find anyone to meet me at the car and walk up the mountain with me. The coworker who normally goes with me was also busy, fitting a week's worth of work into two days.

I was disappointed. I made brownies for the class to celebrate their success on the exams. But there is no way I could go alone. I spent two days trying to get a class member to meet me and walk up with me but only two students have phones. One phone was broken and the other student was working so she never got a chance to pass on the message that I needed someone to come down the front of the mountain and walk up with me. Security would not even let me out of the car without someone there to meet me so there was no literacy class this week.

Monday the employees of Impacto Juvenil were taken out to lunch as a prize for winning the talent show. The restaurant was a house converted into a restaurant with each room converted into dining or cocktail areas. There was a nice pool. We ate outside. It was super nice. I felt strange because I got to go because I went to the retreat but the rest of the volunteers had to stay in the office.

Tuesday I chose paint and bought the supplies to paint my house. Wednesday we started painting. My friend Ana's two boys helped. It was a good way to be able to make sure they were fed this week because the breakfast program where they normally eat was closed. We painted a little and ate a lot. I sent a huge pizza home for them the first night and paid them for their work.

Jired, the oldest, is an excellent worker. I would tell him that something looked fine and he would keep working on it until it looked perfect. David is only eleven. He starts out gung-ho, but gets bored after a while.

I am still super proud of him. He is playing soccer on his big brother's team. It's a big deal because their team is the younger team where scouts look for professionals. Apparently scouts have their eye on Jired. I loved hearing the two brothers tell me how well the other was doing. David is proud because his big brother is the best goalie on the team. Jired is proud of David because nobody else made it through tryouts and also because David can do things that some of his teammates can't do after years of training.

The first day we only got the porch ceiling done. I felt a little discouraged and they felt like we may never finish. But a coworker who used to be a professional painter offered to help. That made a ton of difference. He taught the kids the proper painting techniques and talked to them about "man stuff". We all had a great time and the work got done. We finished rest of the house, inside and out, in two days.

Now I have a bright blue house. It's like a sky blue, but when the sky is that dark shade of blue. It's a gorgeous color. I'm not sure I would choose it again for the outside (or inside) of my house though. Inside is cream with a bright pea green. I won't use this shade of green again, but I was brave and picked colors I had never tried before, so I am proud of myself for that. It's a nice change. I've always wanted to try brighter colors because they are very typical in Honduras. I think a bigger house could have pulled it off better.

The whole house is looking spiffy. The door and cabinets have a fresh coat of varnish. They look amazing! I wasn't going to do that but my coworker insisted and I'm so glad he did. They are my favorite part. Even the metal bars on the windows are clean and white. Now I have two days of rest.

While I was in and out of Los Pinos with the boys I saw another little boy I used to work with. He is only seven but was alone on the streets when I came through. That makes him an easy target for lots of bad things. But my biggest concern is that he was really skinny. I asked if she knows Ana why the boy is so skinny. She said he has not been going to the breakfast program. She's not sure why. My coworker was in the car the second time I saw him. He asked if that was the same boy I was concerned for and said that I should be concerned, he looked boney and unhealthy. I was thinking of bringing him some vitamins but I know his church does not want me to give things to the families they serve. So I just stopped and talked to him, asked him about school and told him I love him.

Today I am going to search around for those little spots that the paintbrushes missed. There are always a few. If I don't do it today they will drive me nuts until I paint again. Then I may read books or watch movies all day. My head aches. Maybe from the fumes.

Fany and I have to walk over to the buy an avocado and some tortillas, but we are hesitant. I bought tortillas on Wednesday evening. I told the boys I had to hurry and drop them off because I don't go to El Hato (or anywhere) after five o'clock. It's getting dark here by 5:30. I had mouths to feed on Thursday (my painters) so I ran over much later than usual. The avocado lady asked why I was there so late in a way that let me know she didn't approve.

On Thursday Fany called me. I could tell she was upset. She said there had been a massacre in El Hato and it was all over the news. I didn't watch. Everyone was talking about it Friday. They know it's right outside my gated community and it's where I buy my produce. It was a good reminder that no matter how many mouths I have to feed, I have rules in place for a reason and I shouldn't bend them.