I'll believe it when...

Honduras, I love you.  But you know, sometimes you really... anger me.  (I am using different words in my mind.)

Yesterday I was so excited for Erika.  She was excited too.  But I knew better.  I even said to people in my prayer group last night that I will truly be happy and accept it as reality once Erika is seated in the class, learning.

In case you missed it, yesterday Erika and I went to a local vocational school.  A lady there told us we arrived just in time to enroll.  Friday is a holiday, but if we came back today (Thursday), we could sign up for the English class that Erika wants and start Monday.

As we climbed the four flights of stairs today I said, "I hope the same lady is here."  Erika didn't seem concerned.  But I have lived in Honduras and dealt with these crazy systems long enough to know that the word of the kind lady yesterday really means nothing until Erika is seated in the class, learning.

The office was full of women, but none were the lady from yesterday, and surprise!  The English class that we came to sign up for suddenly does not exist.  In the future they will have a basic English class, but it will be at 8 a.m., which is a time Erika cannot attend because she has nobody to watch her baby.

We did not make up the fact that the lady told us a Basic English class would start Monday from 3-5 p.m.  That is not something we just invented.

I am so frustrated and disappointed!  Why is it so hard to get a young girl who wants an education enrolled in classes?  It is no wonder that most people here do not make it past 6th grade!

As always, Erika was calm.  She signed up for the computer class, which the lady basically told her that she is not going to pass because of the Excel part.  I am going to check with some friends who can help with Excel.  People my age never took Excel in school, so I am no help.  Maybe Erika and I will learn together.  I asked if she is good at math and she said, yes, which made me happy for more than one reason.  The class shouldn't be so tough for her, AND every time I hear Erika speak say something positive about herself, I love it.  Her self confidence is going to be part of what makes her successful in life.

After such a high yesterday, today I am a little bummed.  But I love walking through this with Erika.  She is so relaxed, yet motivated.  She never seems to feel defeated.  She is the perfect person for me to learn about "doing life with".  She is as much of a blessing in my life as I am in hers.

Also, Erika agreed to attend the womens' group next Wednesday in Los Pinos!  That made me super happy.  I purposely didn't mention that I would like to take her to eat afterward.  My goal was to have her be there because it was her own, personal decision with no outside incentive.  I am not sure how to lead Erika to a deeper relationship with God, but this seems like a great start!  It will also be great for Erika to meet other women.

I cannot control the way things go in Honduras with schools and other governmental agencies.  However, if I leave things in God's hands, He will take good care of Erika and show us the path He has laid out for her.  I have complete faith that God has an amazing future in store for Erika.  She is open and ready to receive.  That is all He requires.  Praise God for Erika's disposition, and praise God for His greatness, which can overcome all obstacles.  Including the craziness of maneuvering the systems of Honduras.

Good news for Erika!

Fany knew I had plans to go to Los Pinos today so as I left this morning she came out to ask if I'd seen the news last night.  Apparently she called to me from her house to tell me to turn it on, but I didn't hear her.

The news was about how the women who sell things at the mercado (an ENORMOUS farmer's market) are reporting loss of clothing sales.  People are no longer buying leggings since the girls were killed for wearing them last week.  The ladies who work at the mercado are also well known, according to Fany, for having highlights or colored hair.  But all of the women on tv last night had dyed their hair back to its natural black for their own safety.  Fany went through the long list of clothing colors I shouldn't wear in Los Pinos.  The news reported the worst of the gang activity is currently originating there.

Fany asked if we were going to be walking around at all.  I assured her that we would only walk a few feet from the car to the church and back.  I can literally park outside the door.  It's great that Fany cares about me so much, but it stinks that she has to.  The gangs are finding the most ridiculous ways to "prove" they have all of the power.

And it's working.  The women died their hair.  I wore grey, the only color I was sure is not on the list, with my hair in a ponytail.  At my prayer group tonight Pastora Ruth took a special time to pray for my safety again.  She prayed that God will show me clear signs of where to go and where not to go.  She prayed that God would walk before me and that I would be surrounded by angels to protect me.  Then she prayed more about God showing me clear signs about when I should go and where it will be safe for me to walk with His protection.  I still hate that I have to allow the gangs control the way I serve people.  But I have to accept it as a fact of life.  At least for now.

Molly and I arrived at the church at 1 p,m. on the dot for our first group meeting with ladies from Los Pinos.  Two other ladies came at the same time.  Since we cannot do home visits right now, this is a great way for us to be able to serve.   For a while we thought it was just going to be the four of us, but then more and more ladies came.  We kept pulling up more chairs and making our circle bigger and bigger.  Even as we were leaving more ladies were arriving!

We explained to the ladies that we really hadn't made exact plans for this group.  Our goal is to get to know them, to study God's word together, to support each other through difficult times and celebrate good times together.  Most of them seemed interested in meeting next week.  I have a feeling that a few will not show up now that they know we are not giving away free stuff.  But I think that many of the ladies will return and will bring friends.  Molly and I are even talking about dividing the ladies into two groups according to where they live to make things more manageable if the group stays this big.  We have another meeting arranged for next week at the same time.  I am pretty excited!

On the way to drop Molly off at home we picked up Erika.  Erika and I went to INFOP to see what classes they are offering.  INFOP is a vocational school.  Lots of adults go there for sewing and baking classes and it is usually free.  All the way there I prayed for God's favor.  I am tired of Erika being turned away from everything she tries to do!  We never did get the transcripts from the mean director of her last school.  And then it was so frustrating to be told that we missed the deadline of enrollment by 2 days, so we have to wait until FEBRUARY for Erika to start school the next school year.  She will be 17 starting 7th grade.  But that doesn't seem to faze her.

We found INFOP surprisingly easily.  Then we found the building, then parking right in front.  Everything was falling into place.  Praying for God's favor was working.  We were directed to the 4th floor (with no elevators).  Nobody paid attention to us at first, but then a man came by and asked if we were being helped.  When I said no he told a lady to please attend to us.  She ended up being really nice.  If we bring a copy of Erika's 6th grade diploma and ID, Erika can enroll tomorrow to start class on Monday!  The lady at the desk says Erika will only need a pen and paper.  Everything else is provided for free.  I hope she gets a great teacher.

I was so excited I couldn't believe it!!  We made it just in time.  Friday is a holiday.  Tomorrow is the last day to enroll.  Erika will officially be a student again on Monday!

Erika is really happy too.  She was thinking of taking a computer class and English too, but decided it's best to start out with just English.  Her class will be Monday - Friday from 3-5, so she should really learn a lot!  It is a perfect schedule to allow her mother to take care of baby Marjory while she is at class.  And she should get home before dark, which is important to me.

Erika was an excellent student when I taught her English, so I expect she will do really well.  I told her I will help her study whenever she needs help.  Then I told baby Marjory, "Your mommy is a student now!  She is going to teach you English when you are older!"  Erika seemed excited and happy too.

I dropped Erika off just at dark clouds rolled in.  It started to sprinkle at the same time I guessed she should be arriving at home.  I headed off to prayer group.  Before prayer group I stopped to buy mugs for the Mother's Day party and I got Erika a set of different color pens, like all of the kids use for homework.  I also got her a sparkly purple notebook.  Those will be her surprises after she is officially a student again.

I just kept thinking about what might have happened if God had not called anyone to work with Erika.  As much as I hate to say it, I am not sure she would have gone back to school.  All it took was someone to ask what she wanted to do, and back her up when the mean lady wouldn't give us the transcript.  That's all she needed.  Her Dad is paying for bus fare for English class.  I am hopeful he will follow through on his commitment to do so.  This seems like a perfect way to warm up her mind to start 7th grade in February.

I already have a grasp on how mothers feel when they send their kids off to school each year.  I am so excited for Erika.  I am already thinking of dropping her off the first day so I can take pictures, although I don't know if that would make her feel special or embarrassed.  It is only one class, but I firmly believe it is the first step of many to get her on track for a successful future.

Home visits on hold

Usually I don't like to post things like this.  Mostly because it upsets my mother, but also because I like to think things in Honduras are getting better and I don't like to talk about the things that are not so great.  It has been suggested to me by other people here that I should not share these things, but I think this specific post can give you some information to understand a little bit about how ministry in a dangerous part of Los Pinos has to be done with, let's say, finesse.

Molly and I planned to go into Los Pinos this week to visit more families.  As you know, we are very cautious every time we enter Los Pinos.  For more than a month recently Molly was unable to visit her families who are housebound.  That was really tough.

The sector where Molly works is pretty far is pretty far from where the families whom I know all live, but I look forward to getting to know this area better, when safety concerns allow.

Last week Fany told me that it was all over the news that the gangs in Los Pinos are killing women who dye or highlight their hair.  She said that the gang members want only the women they date to be able to lighten their hair.  All other Latinas should have their natural hair color, which is generally black.  I asked Fany what I should do, since I have highlights.  She said it only applies to Latinas.  They don't care how outsiders color their hair, apparently.  But we also decided I will wear a ponytail or a baseball cap in Los Pinos.  This was all over the news and everyone was talking about it, which is exactly what the gangs want.

On Friday 2 women were killed right behind one of the houses that Molly visits.  The gangs wanted the news to know that the women were killed for wearing leggings and "indecent" clothes.  It was on tv and in newspapers.

Today I got to see Carlos (big Carlos) again.  He and Ariel went with us to visit the pastor in Los Pinos about our Mother's Day party and also we went to a school.  In reality, we barely got out of the car except to walk a few steps to the doorsteps of those places.  We could not go and visit any families today.  The families themselves called Molly and told her not to come for safety reasons.

The boys told us that they cannot wear red, purple, black or blue (which surprised me because everyone wears blue Honduras soccer jerseys) shirts.  They said they purposely dressed the way they did today - one was in brown and one in white.  I, too, made sure not to be "indecent".  I wore a boring tee-shirt and those breathable pants that no Hondurans would be caught dead in.  They are meant for hiking or outdoor activity.  I love them because they are comfortable on a hot day.  But fashion comes before comfort for the women of Honduras.  I did not look indecent (or even cute) in any manner by Honduran standards.

I am hoping this is all heat related.  I know Chicago used to go crazy in the heat and murders would skyrocket the hotter it got there.  It's been in the mid 90's every day for months and nobody has water.  That can get really frustrating!  Not an excuse to kill someone, but it can make a healthy minded person a little grumpy.

Tomorrow a cold front is supposed to blow in.  We are supposed to get rain from tomorrow evening until the end of the 10 day forecast.  I am praying that actually happens and cools everything off!  Both physically, and gang-wise.  The forecast says that the chance of rain Wednesday and Thursday is 100%, but the weather forecasts here are about as reliable as...  All the rest of the unreliable things in Honduras.

Pray for rain because we need it.  Everything is burning.  People are getting sore throats and messed up eyes, even those who don't wear contacts.  Our fruit trees are dying or dead.  The water only comes once/week and then it is only drops.  The electricity is getting shut off because there is no hydroelectric power.  The problems from lack of water go on and on.  But I just want it to cool off, physically and criminally.

It is hard to sit back and relax when you can't do your "job".  It's frustrating when you can't reach out to the people you love and care for because the gangs have taken control.  Molly and I both have patience and wisdom, and lots of knowledgeable people looking out for us.  We always err on the side of caution.  But it is still hard to know that we cannot do home visits.

In the meantime I am going tomorrow with Erika to see about what vocational classes are available, how much they cost, and when she can start them.  Wednesday we are meeting with a group of women just to get to know them and learn a little about their needs.  I would like to go and visit Osiris!  But we don't know when we will be able to do home visits in Sector F again.

Planning for Mother's Day

Frequently people ask, "How can I help?"  Usually I say that prayer is appreciated.  I hate begging for money.  But today I have a fun way you can help financially!

Yesterday Molly and I sat down and figured out the details of our Mother's Day Event.  If we limit it to be as small as possible, we think we are still going to serve about 100 mothers and children in Los Pinos.

The plan is to invite 16 mothers we already know and work with.  They can each bring a friend.  They will love to invite a friend, and it helps us to increase our outreach.  If you do the math that is 16 mothers plus 16 friends at an average of 3 kids per woman - that could be 130 people!

We were thinking of doing it on the Friday before Mother's Day, but all of the schools will celebrate that day, so none of the moms could come.  Mother's Day in Honduras is THE biggest holiday of the year.  It tops Christmas, birthdays, and Easter.  (The second biggest holiday is The Day of the Child.)  Schools have parties and invite all of the mothers to attend.

Our party will be basic, but fun.  First our friend Carol, who is a very dynamic speaker, is going to share a biblically based message for the moms.  Then we are going to ask the moms to participate by sharing what "Being a Mom" means to them.  Afterward we have a few games we are going to play with the moms while the kids make Mother's Day cards in a different room.

The games are really just a way for us to give out baskets of food to people who otherwise don't have food at home.  We would like to raise enough money to give out at least 10 baskets.  For example, the "Mother of the Year" will find a piece of paper taped under her chair, which entitles her to a basket and the prestigious title of "Mother of the Year".  The mother with the youngest baby will win a basket.  The mom who walked the farthest to come to the party will win a basket.  (We are going to set aside a couple of these in case next door neighbors walk together.)

After a time of fun, we are asking the pastor who offered us the space for the party to say a blessing.  Then we are going to serve a cake and jamaica juice which we can make very cheaply from jamaica leaves.  During that time we will walk around, meet the new people and pray with the families.  Each mother is going to get a small gift, like a coffee mug that says "Feliz Dia de la Madre" if we have enough money in the budget.

And then, they will all leave feeling honored and blessed.  That is our plan anyway.  We'll see what God has in store.

If you would like to help, it's easy!

Click on the link: www.WorldOutreach.org/donations

Select my name "Fager, Mary Lynn"

Click "Donations"

Next to my name, type in the amount that you would like to donate.

Easy!  And tax deductible.

Our budget is as follows:

Baskets of food: $100 for 10 baskets
Art supplies for kids to make Mother's Day cards:  $20
Food/drink/disposable cups and plates:$55
Mother's Day Mug for every mother: $64

Any money above the $239 will go for more food baskets.

Thank you for your help!

A day of prayer

Today at the gym was more hips.  No woman at my gym is trying to have bigger hips apparently, because although it was only an eighth of the workout, it was the hardest part for me.

I was sitting on one of the machines today. (I call it the thigh killer because I don't know the correct name - it's where you sit in a chair with a bar across the fronts of your ankles/shins and lift the bar by straightening your legs.  Man that thing is torture.)  While I was on the thigh killer, my mind was kind of floating around, like it does in the middle of a workout when you are too tired to think about anything specific.  I noticed sometimes my eyes even just daze out and I stare into space.  When I reach that point I know I'm working hard.

So I am sitting on torture machine, dazed out, waiting to find the strength to do another repetition when something comes into my mind so clearly that it felt really out of place.  God told  me that I needed to pray.  It was so clear.  So I started to pray and ask God exactly what He wanted me to pray about.  Right away the name Ruth (my pastor) came to me.  I prayed about the things that I know she is facing right now.  But God stopped me and told me to pray for her health.  Suddenly I felt pressure in my chest and up into my throat.  Yes, I know this is all very strange.  You can think I am crazy.  That's okay.  But when God tells you to pray, I pray.  So I prayed for Pastora Ruth and her health, specifically her heart and lungs, since that is where I was hurting.

A few months ago I was sitting in my bed when I saw a clear image of Isabela falling and hitting her head.  The next day Isa fell out the doorway down to the ground below, which is about 5 feet.  She hit her head.  Ana found Isa with her eyes rolled back in her head and the breath knocked out of her.  I called Ana right after it happened, as Isa was catching her breath, which is odd because I only call Ana every few weeks.

Later when I told the story to Ruth, she said I should always tell the person if God gives me a vision like that.  I said, "But I didn't want Ana to be scared about Isa's head and I didn't know that something was really going to happen."  Pastora Ruth said, "It is better for Ana to have that information."  I agreed and made a promise to myself that from now on if anything like that ever happened, I would tell the person.

So today I told Pastora Ruth about God telling me clearly to pray for her.  I also told her about the pressure I felt in my chest and my throat.  I told her to please take baby aspirin if she feels that pressure, but she said she already does.  So that is good.  She asked me to continue to pray for her as God leads me, which of course I will.  It was such a clear calling in a moment when nothing in my mind was clear, I have to believe it was God telling me something.  As Pastora Ruth pointed out, our God is more powerful than the enemy, so by obedience and prayer we can cancel out something bad.

Pastora Ruth also told me that she really liked my words and the way I directed the service last week!  That felt great! I believed it was really good.  But as humans, it is always nice to be told when you do something well.  She even pointed out specific things she really liked.

I am so blessed to be where I am right now.  I never imagined myself directing a service - never mind doing it really well!  I feel like I am finally walking in the power and authority that God blessed me with.  I love that my pastor is encouraging my spiritual growth in so many ways.  I love the classes, the kind words, and the challenges.  It feels great to be supported and challenged at the same time.  Isn't that how every healthy relationship should be?

Here is my last thought of the day:  Today as I was on the treadmill, running off the baleadas I made for dinner last night, I looked across the street.  Two men were digging through a dumpster.  One man was collecting plastic bottles, the other appeared to be searching for food.  It struck me.  I am running on this treadmill, trying to burn off calories, and these men don't have enough to eat.  The man who was collecting plastic had clothes that were practically rotting off.

I love Honduras.  I love so many things about this place.   I love my life here.  But the poverty I see is so intense.  I have more than enough to eat.  I am trying to burn extra calories.  Yet these men are inside of a nasty, stinky dumpster - a place where no human being should ever have to go - trying to find their next meal.  Life should not be this way.

Praise God for all he provides for me through you, my supporters.  Thank you for supporting me in prayer and financially.  I have recently lost a few financial supporters due to their job situations.  Praise God for allowing me to maintain peace in my heart and for reminding me always that I am here, in Honduras, with a purpose.  I pray that I fulfill that purpose every day.  Amen.

Hips and Helmets

Today I met with the car insurance agent about transferring the account into my name.  Until now I have been blessed by a friend from my previous church who offered to pay the bills.  He is a very generous man who is constantly helping people in a silent way.  I am grateful for all he has done for me.

In any case, I am now responsible for the payment of my own car insurance.  We went over the policy and realized that the car is still listed at the value it had two years ago, so my agent is going to adjust that and send me the official cost within the week.  He is a really kind man.  Very patient with each of my questions.  He's the kind of guy you'd want to call if you were flustered because you just got into a car accident.

I started going to the gym almost a month ago.  The first week the trainers gave me a program to work on, but it messed up both of my shoulders, which have a tendency to be messed up anyway.  Since then I have been doing my own thing and feeling pretty good about it.  But I noticed my muscles are not sore like they are when I work out with the trainers so I decided to go back to their routine today.

I purposely went early so that I would get the nice trainer who understands I have shoulder problems and doesn't tell me that I should be lifting heavier weights.  He walked me through everything and it was a great work out.  I was there for 2 & 1/2 hours!  (Which made me 10 minutes late for my meeting with the insurance guy, but he didn't seem to mind.)

Afterward I was talking to Fany.  Last week I told Fany about how I sat down in a child's seat when I was visiting Los Pinos and my side saddles were too big to fit so all of the ladies started teasing me.  She knew that it made me uncomfortable and assured me that Honduran women WISH for big hips and thighs.  I thought she was just saying that to make me feel better at the time.

Then today I told her that I had been at the gym for hours and worked on my side saddles.  She asked, "Did you work to make them bigger?  Or smaller?"  Shocked I told her, "SMALLER!"  She said, "Are you sure?  You better ask the trainer.  Because many women in Honduras work hard to have big hips."  Thankfully, all of the hip exercise I had done was textbook pilates, so I knew it was to get rid of side saddles.  But now I know in the future that I need to be specific about not wanting to build up my hips if the trainer asks me to do something different.  We'll see if my muscles hurt more tomorrow after their workout compared to mine.  (I also got an extra 1/4 mile in during my 30 minutes on the treadmill!  Go me!!)

This afternoon I had a nice little walk to the market by myself because Fany was out of town.  It has been so hot we haven't been going outside if we can help it until after 5 pm, but today there are some clouds in the sky.  If only it would rain!

Normally I always walk over to the colonia next to mine with Fany,  My colonia is gated so we don't have any markets.  It's fun to check out what all of the vendors have at the colonia next door.  They line the streets selling fruit and veggies, cheese, I saw a big table full of flip flops today, burned movies, second hand shoes, grilled food, and a million women with tortillas.  But because the vendors sometimes try to rip Fany off, so I feel better knowing I got a fair price if I am with her.  Also we love to look through the used clothes stores.  It's a amazing what you can find for $2.50.

We have a favorite banana guy and a favorite avocado guy.  We buy tomatoes and other produce where it looks best.  I went to our regular avocado guy and he sold me everything at the same price that he always asks.  Yay!  While I was paying a lady came along and asked where the avocados from the US are.  He said that the airport took them, so he has no produce from the US.  Personally I like Honduran avocados much better anyway, but it's sad that he lost a lot of his produce.

And in case you are not my friend on Facebook, one last thing.  Yesterday as I was driving to church I saw the funniest thing!  Honduran motorcyclists wear helmets.  It seems to be the one law they follow.  They also often wear ski goggles, which cracks me up.  Sometimes I see ski goggles I know are really expensive in the US.  Since there is no skiing here, I assume the cost of goggles is quite low.

For a few months it has been driving me nuts because a man I really like at my church wears a bicycle helmet on his motorcycle.  I know he can barely afford upkeep on the moto (as we say in Honduras) so I bet he can't afford a different helmet.  But I worry for him riding around in a bicycle helmet and have even prayed that God would show me a way to get a motorcycle helmet for him, without having other members of the church find out.

I say I need to do this without others knowing because Pastora Ruth does not want the church body to see me as someone who is going to start buying things for all of them.  She wants my relationships with church members to be real, not based on what they think they might get from me.  Therefore, she asked me to be really careful about how I share things at church.  In fact, for the first few months she told me I should not invite anyone to my house or buy anything for anyone.  Now if I buy things I buy them for the church, not for any specific person.  This has been really helpful in cutting out envy, arguing and gossip.  Plus I know that if people are hanging out with me it's because they like me as a person.  I am grateful for Pastor Ruth's wisdom.

North Americans have earned themselves a reputation as people who come here and throw their money around.  I used to have to fight that stereotype a lot.  It was really frustrating.  I know visitors believe they are helping and do everything with good intentions, but check this out.  Recently 2 separate teams came to visit.  All I heard about one team was how much STUFF they brought.  The other team did not bring as much stuff, but did lots of hands on things with the kids.  Guess which  group the kids enjoyed the most, whose names they remember, and who they miss most?  The team that gave less gifts, but spent lots of quality time just playing and hanging out.  Sometimes STUFF gets in the way of true relationship.

Okay, so yesterday I am driving to church and there is a man in front of me, driving a motorcycle, wearing an orange construction helmet.  I have no idea how that thing stayed on his head.  I guess the law is "helmet".  That was indeed a helmet.  But I can't imagine it would protect his head at all in an accident.  It would probably fall off before he hit the ground.

Osiris showed up!

Today was the day I had to "direct" the service at church.  Last week I prepared a message and practiced it in Spanish yesterday when I went to the women's group.  But then last night I felt like God was telling me that I was taking the easy way out.  I wasn't challenging myself enough and I am capable of more.  It was like He was telling me to trust in the new, more mature me and do not lean on old safety nets.  The message I had prepared would be fine.  However, it was true, I could do better.

When I was praying about 10 days ago I believed God showed me that I should speak about unity.  That had been eating at the back of my mind.  So last night I pulled out a pen and paper.  I said to myself, I'll just write down what comes to mind.  We'll see what happens.  If this doesn't turn out well, I already have a message planned.

At 11:57 p.m. I finished writing.  It felt right.  I knew it was the message I was supposed to share today.

I didn't sleep well all night, waiting for it to be morning, so I could shower and put on the clothes I had picked out.  I was looking at the clock every 15 minutes but somehow the bags under my eyes were smaller than ever today.

I got ready exactly on time, despite the fact that I ran out of water with conditioner in my hair and had to go outside and turn on the pump to pump more water into my cistern.  Ahhhh... Honduras.  Where you never know when the water might run out.  I was grateful Fany and Santos were gone this week because that meant there was still water for me to pump out of their tank.  Anyway, I went to church prepared, on time, and feeling good about my appearance.

We started with worship music as always.  Today's worship was even more powerful than usual.  The air was heavy with the Holy Spirit.  Then it was my turn to talk.  My original topic was about being still and finding peace in the Lord.  It was good I had changed topics, because people were really revved up and it would not have flowed well to tell them to be still at that moment.

Instead I spoke about unity.  It was perfect if I do say so myself.  Everyone paid close attention.  It was funny, it was thought provoking and inspiring, and it was backed by scripture.  At the end everyone clapped!  Usually they don't clap at the end of the director's message.

Looking back at the whole process, I think I did a good job of listening to what God wanted me to do, being flexible to change my topic at the last minute, and choosing a topic that was a little tougher to present.  You won't see me do this often, but today I have to give myself a pat on the back.

After church we had plans to go hiking in La Tigra and then have a bonfire at Pastor Ruth's house tonight, but Ruth's (adult) kids are sick, so we had to cancel.  It would have been my first outing with them, so I was looking forward to it.  They said they will include me when it is rescheduled.

Erika friended me on Facebook yesterday.  Her dad gave her an old phone last week.  She is thrilled with it.  It is an older model and it is beat up, but she couldn't be happier.  So now she is on Facebook.  I loved just chatting with her.  She has taken a liking to Fany, which is nice because she is so shy.  It's also convenient because it will make her more comfortable if we spend time with Fany.  Last week Fany sent her hand-me-downs from Laura for baby Marjory, so she asked me to please tell Fany thank you.  She also said that "the girl" I invited to go to the breakfast program is attending every day.  I had no clue what she was talking about at that moment.

Then today I talked with a member of  my old church and they asked if I had recommended the breakfast program to a group of six kids who have started coming every day.  The kids told people at the breakfast program that I had sent them.  And then I remembered Osiris!!!!!  I asked if one of them is named Osiris, and nobody was sure, but we put the puzzle pieces together and realized that yes!  Osiris, and first three, now five other kids are all coming to the church every single day to eat!  They are well behaved, have good manners, and they arrive very thirsty.

I explained how far Osiris walks to get to the church.  It's at least 3-4 miles.  And then afterward she has told walk another 3 miles or so to get home.  I said that the teacher told me there was no food in her house, but she is a really good and smart kid, so the teacher wanted me to mentor her.  We decided that the area where she lives was too dangerous at that time, but the teacher said she was going to keep praying that I would mentor Osiris.

The funny thing is, when I went into Sector F last week with Molly, we asked a lot of families if they know Osiris.  But nobody knew her.  I figured I might never see her again.

Don Juan told people that Osiris had come while the church was closed after Semana Santa.  Then she came back the following week when it re-opened and has been attending ever since!  That makes me so happy!!  And apparently word has spread around the church that I am recommending the program to more kids.

As new kids come, some of my favorite older ones no longer attend, which makes me sad.  I envisioned my goofy buddy Kevin S. there until he got a job.  He is so sweet and silly.  And two more girls who both need the program a lot are no longer there.  One kind of phased out slowly and one got a boyfriend, which terrifies me.  But I guess it's a case of natural attrition.  The older kids leave and the new ones come.  Glad I could send 6 new ones who didn't have food before.

Today was a good day.  Leading the service (inspiring unity) and learning that 6 kids who weren't eating before now have food is what I came here to do.  I am growing and at the same time helping others.   It feels good.

(To read more about Osiris and how I came to know her check out my post entitled "Second Attempt at Erika's School.")

June 13th!

There are quite a few women I admire.  Too many to name by name, because I might forget one.  But very few leave me feeling intimidated or star struck.  I've been around famous people.  They don't phase me.  But there are two people who have left me with that "star struck" feeling.  And guess what!?!  They are both going to speak at the women's conference for my church in June!

I am so excited my brain is about to explode.  Is it June 13th yet????

This afternoon we had a women's meeting at church and casually discussed the theme and date of the annual conference.  The topic is "Women Living Under Threat".  It's about the abuse of women.  Pastor Ruth asked if anyone knows a lawyer that could speak at the conference about women's rights under the law.  I know the perfect person!

She is not a lawyer, she is much more.  She is the lady who reminded me that I used to climb mountains.  Last week she was officially named an expert witness on domestic violence in the US Federal Court.  She is known and respected all over Honduras.  She saves the lives of women and babies literally every day.  And she is going to speak at our women's conference!

I've wanted Gracie to speak at my church since I first met her.  She is so busy, I didn't really know how that would happen.  Today when Pastor Ruth asked if anyone knows an expert about Honduran law regarding abuse I started hoping and praying it would all come together.  I contacted Gracie and immediately she said she marked it on her calendar and will be there!

I believe that Gracie and Pastora Ruth will make a powerful team.  Through God's anointing, Gracie and Pastora Ruth can teach, preach, and heal.  It is going to be awesome!  The two most powerful women I know under one roof, united to teach and bring healing to women.

I got over feeling star struck around Pastora Ruth.  I still think she is just as awesome and admire her greatly, but since I know her on a personal level, the intimidation went away.  Now I need to get over being start struck by Gracie.

June 13th is going to be an amazing day, God willing.

Dia de los Chicos

The day of the boys was even better than I hoped!  They were perfectly behaved, except for a few split seconds when they got overly excited about the automatic toilet paper dispenser in the men's bathroom.  But after that we used the women's bathroom, which was just as exciting with it's liquid soap pump and hot air blower for the hand dryer, after ONE piece of paper towel each from the dispenser.

Yes, the bathrooms were almost as exciting as the play area.

Erika was able to keep it a surprise, so the boys didn't know what to expect.  They just knew they had to be down at the corner where I always pick up Erika at 1 p.m.  Erika said that Junior kept saying it was 1 pm long before it was time because he was excited to go.

Everything was a fun experience from start to finish.  Riding in the car was exciting.  Since Lorenzo is 10, he got to sit in the front seat.  He loved that.  As he put on his seat belt he looked almost as proud as if he were receiving his high school diploma.  Junior wanted the window down so he could see outside.  You may know that it is not safe to drive with the windows down, especially in the area where these kids live.  I explained why my windows are tinted so dark (to deter thieves and so people can't see a single female in the car).  That made it easier for them to understand that we would roll up windows at stop lights or anyplace someone was walking in the street.  They were good about following that rule.  On the way home we joked that we don't want anyone to steal our left over pizza!

As we drove away I asked was if they wanted pizza or chicken.  Carlos, who hardly ever talks, immediately said pizza!  Junior was too busy looking out the window to answer and Lorenzo was so thrilled to sit up straight with his seat belt in the front seat, I am not sure he heard anything else going on around him.  They did all agree on pizza so we went to Pizza Hut which has a playland.

At first we were the only ones there.  Then two very skinny, NOT very rough and tumble kids came along, and then two small girls.  I thought to myself, oh no.  This might not be good.  But there was not one problem.  They all played together well and did just fine.  Later two boys in private school uniforms showed up and played much more loudly and aggressively, chasing the other kids and roaring at them.  But my three boys were perfect.  (Insert happy face here.)

Lorenzo, Junior and Carlos

Lorenzo

Erika and I decided to order a package which came with drinks for all of us, cheesy garlic bread, pizza and 2 desserts.  The boys played, then ordered drinks (horchata for all).

Carlos, Junior, Lorenzo

The cable tv with cartoons caught their eye for a minute, so everyone did an about-face.  Then they got back to playing until the cheesy garlic bread arrived.

Cheesy garlic bread

We held off on ordering pizza and played until the bathrooms became so exciting.  Then the pizza came quickly, and I was grateful for the distraction.

We can add our own cheese?!??!!

Marjory had some pizza too

As I watch the little kids eat things here (especially chips and junk food) I often think back to the way my sister-in-law carefully introduced one thing at a time, in a special order each week, into the diets of my nephews when they started eating soft food.  No judgement either way, just very different.  Here, the rule is basically, as long as the kids aren't choking they can eat it.

The pizza was great.  Best pizza I've had so far.  The waiter tried to tell me that take out pizza costs less because it is different.  I didn't believe him, but he sure was right!  Our pizza had lots of sauce and there were no bubbles of dough in the middle.  The cheese covered it all.  We agreed it was yummy!  The boys gobbled up their first piece which made me nervous we hadn't ordered enough.  They slowed way down on their second piece, and the third was boxed to go.  The pieces were tiny, but the dough was thick.

After more play time we had dessert.

Carlos with a smile and bright, shiny eyes.
This photo makes my whole day perfect!

Carlos doing somersaults

Lorenzo

Junior

Typical Junior
always hanging from something

Such a sweet boy

So good at sharing!

Marjory's first maraschino cherry - to match her new shirt 

Real sundae spoons were a hit!

Carlos

We shared two delicious desserts of whipped cream with pineapple and watermelon.  At first we were missing a spoon so the boys took turns feeding me.  When I thanked one for a bite of watermelon, then each of them wanted to find me a bite of watermelon.  Same with the pineapple.  They are so good at sharing!

At the end of the meal, the waiter (who was very interested in talking to me) told me he was very impressed with the way the kids behaved and how I am with them.  I told him it's easy because they are great and I love them!  Then he gave us a discount.

As we drove home the kids exclaimed, "Que Rico!" about everything from street signs to businesses.  Everything was good.  They piled out of the car full of smiles and happiness once they figured out how to open the door handles.   Four hours later, my heart is still full from spending the day with such special boys.

Long night

So glad I had this morning free!  Not sure what I would have done otherwise.  First of all I was up part of the night with a really messed up stomach.  I thought something was seriously wrong.  But once my stomach was completely empty, I was much better, with just a little stomach pain.  In the midst of all the bathroom activity I ran out of water.  No need to go into details about that.  It was not fun or pretty.

Then I got my taxes finished today.  I started them a long time ago, but the people who have prepared my taxes for the past 2 years are suddenly no longer able to send forms in anything other than PDF which means I have no way to fill them in.  So my Aunt Jan took on my taxes as well as all the others she is doing for her work.  We finished at 1 p.m., just in time to send them to Jody, my Power of Attorney in the US so Jody can sign them and mail in the money I owe.

Almost did them on Turbo Tax.  Glad I didn't!  Would have paid $1600 more.

Was supposed to have prayer group today, but it was cancelled yesterday morning and rescheduled for last night.  Unfortunately, my phone spent the whole day until 9:30 p.m. hidden in my truck, where I stashed it before we went into Los Pinos.  So I missed prayer group this week, which is disappointing, but couldn't be helped.

Still thinking about yesterday and looking forward to tomorrow.  Tomorrow is Chico's Day!  I am going to hang out with Erika and her little brothers, who always beg to come when I go pick up Erika.  They don't understand why I only pay attention to Erika these days.  So tomorrow we are going to have a day just for the boys.

Another sunny, hot, hot day.  No rain in sight.  Yesterday was 97 degrees while we were wandering around Los Pinos with no sunblock.  I am so burned!  Meanwhile everything at my church in Salt Lake is closed because of a snow storm.

Visits with Molly

Today was the kind of day I imagined for myself when I moved to Honduras.  I hope to have many more days like today

My friend Molly and I went to visit some of the people she serves in Los Pinos.  It was something we have been thinking about and praying about for a long time.  Molly hasn't been able to visit the families she works with for weeks due to gang violence in the area.  But we learned, and a local pastor confirmed today, that things have calmed down.  I prayed about it with my church group last week, then spoke to Pastor Paysen about it on Sunday as well.  Molly and I continued to pray yesterday, last night and today.  We felt confident about our decision to go.

Molly is looking for a car, so it is nice for her to be able to go with me.  I have the car, but I don't have the connections, so it is nice for me to go with her.  Cab drivers charge her extra to drop her off there because they know it is dangerous.  Some cabs refuse to take her at all.  She said that finding a cab to take her home can be tough too.

I am realizing more and more that our gifts compliment each other well.  Molly knows how to get a lot of things done.  She knows about resources.  I know about working with messed up kids and victims of abuse.  So we balance each other.  It will be interesting to see God's plans for us a year from now.

I have met the pastor who lets us park in front of his church once before.  He is super relaxed, yet very attentive.  I liked him since the first time we met.  He is not interested in what we can do for him, but is very willing to help us out in any way he can.  Today that meant letting me park in a safe spot.

Molly and I talked to him about having a Mother's Day celebration at his church.  We are inviting the mothers we know in Los Pinos as well as ladies from his church.  It should be a good way to network.  Even if we don't meet families we feel called to serve, the more people we know in the area, the safer it is for us there.  And of course, it will be a very fun day to celebrate the mothers.

As we stood on the side of the mountain, the pastor pointed out areas on the other mountain that are less safe than others.  He pointed to where a pastor from a church nearby had to leave because of the gang activity.  They tore her house apart, making it clear to her that they wanted her gone.

Pastor Nicholas lives right by his church, so he has his hand on the pulse of everything that is going on.  He has been there for long enough that he is known by the people in the area, so he doesn't have any problems.  He said he will talk to key people and let them know why we are around so they will allow us pass freely without problems.  That will be a big help to us.

The visits with Molly were great.  I can see she loves her families and they love her just like I love the families I serve in Los Pinos.  It seems like everyone is sick with dengue in Los Pinos.  I got a little nervous when a mosquito bit me, but that was the closest we came to danger all day.  Everything was really calm.

Nobody has water.  In the first house we visited a 6 year old boy has had diarrhea with blood in his stool since last week.  He is vomiting up his food.  But there is no water.  Thank God he looks basically healthy.  They were down to 2 little packages of tomato sauce in the pantry and some rice.  Molly brought some food.  She is also helping a girl who lives there to go to college and get a job so soon there should be an income in the family.  Just last night the girl was hired for a really good, professional job.  Everyone is really excited about it and proud of the girl.

We sat down for a while to chit chat.  Everyone teased me because my butt was too big to fit into a child's plastic seat.  I don't know if I will ever get used to being teased about being too big.  It's just something we would never say in the US, although everyone in the room meant it in a kind way.  I went home and talked to Fany about it.  She said that in Honduras men like women with side saddles and a butt, so I should take it as a compliment.  They even have a word for side saddles that is supposed to be complementary, not negative.  She said most Honduran women are not built that way, but wish they were.  I need to investigate her theory a little further before I believe it.  And I need to lighten up.

Another thing that happened in that house was so funny to me.  Very Honduras.  The lady said openly (in front of the 6 year old boy and a teenaged boy who accompanied us) that she has a lump in her breast and it hurts.  Of course, that part is not funny.  Molly encouraged her to go to the doctor, but she said she has a really hard time climbing back up the mountain if she goes down to the doctor, so it seems unlikely to me that she will go.  She turned to the lady next to her, twisted her bra around so her breast was no longer in the cup and said, "Feel!".  So the lady felt.  Then she said no, really push on it.  So the lady is pressing and with the other hand seeing how it felt compared to her own breast.  The lady with the lump exclaimed, "That is not normal."  At that point I embarrassed myself by cracking up out loud.  I tried to imagine this scenario, with a teenager and a young boy and a stranger visiting, in a home in the US.  I love how open Honduran women are about some things.  I really do.

The second home we visited was a really nice woman who has HIV.  She is the first person I have met in Honduras who I am aware has HIV.  I am sure I know more people, but just don't know it.  She looked very healthy and seems to be doing well, considering her circumstances.  The visit was really nice, but I don't want to go into details because I am not sure if her situation is public knowledge.

Lastly we went up to visit a person who wasn't home.  Some other family members invited us inside.  They talked about how they really can't work because there are four kids to take care of and also, someone always has to stay home to take care of the house.  I know many families in Los Pinos who don't dare leave their home unattended.  What a sad thing.  I am grateful my friend Ana's home is secure and she can leave when she needs to.

As we walked back out, some little kids who yelled, "Hello!" in English when we arrived, yelled "Adios Gringos!" in a sweet way.  Molly and I were burned to a crisp, although my skin didn't turn red until a few hours later.  Molly's burn was the topic of conversation toward the end of our travels.  Next time we will bring sunscreen and sneakers.  Those mountain trails were crazy today!

In each house we prayed over the families and praised God for all He is doing in their lives.  I can see how things are definitely very tough, but there is always a light.  Despite the illness and lack of food and water in the first house, there is hope with the new job the girl is starting and college in her future.  Despite HIV, the lady in the second house is fairly strong and has a productive business.  In the third house a young man was mistaken for someone else and shot in the head, but he is alive and his sister has a healthy, beautiful baby that I fell in love with.  There was always something good.

Yesterday I got to visit Ana and her family.  Samuel is learning so much in school!  Isabela is talking and talking.  She doesn't let her brothers get away with anything anymore.  She is full of personality.  Jired is trying to figure out a way to visit the US after he graduates from high school, and David is so tall!  He is almost not a little boy anymore.  He is turning into a young man right before my eyes!  I just saw them all 2 weeks ago, but each of them is growing and changing so fast it's amazing.  Samuel told me that he is too skinny.  I asked why.  He said he is not eating his vegetables.  (I used to always pester him about eating his vegetables.)  He said he loves broccoli, so I gave him a little bit of broccoli.  He gave me his word that he would eat it.

Hugs from Lorenzo!

The whole gang was there to greet me when I picked up Erika today!  Erika's Mom wanted to meet me so she came down to the corner and all of the boys were perched on a stoop in their school uniforms.  I got to see Junior, Carlos, and LORENZO!!!  Yay!  I smothered them all with lots of kisses and hugs and love.  It was awesome.  I also appreciate the fact that Erika's Mom wanted to meet me.  I talk to her on the phone all of the time, but we have never met face to face.

When I got out of the car to go talk to them Lorenzo was not with the rest of the crew.  I asked where he was and everyone pointed to the pulperia nearby.  After he made his purchase he came running to me full speed and leapt into my arms laughing.  It was awesome.  Man I love those kids.

We talked a little and they kept asking when they could go with me like Erika does.  I told them Erika and I will make plans but it won't be for a few weeks because I am busy on the weekends and they have school during the week.  Then Erika and I decided we will surprise them and pick them up on Thursday after school.  We are going to go to Popeyes and get chicken.  They can play at the playland there.  Since none of them have ever been to a fast food restaurant, except now Erika, I am sure it will be a big hit.

It shouldn't be too expensive to share a bucket of chicken.  I am realizing that the costs of doing ministry outside of a church, where they provided everything, is much more expensive.  But Erika is not asking for anything more than time.  I chose to take her to Wendy's the first time we met together so we could talk, once when we were out doing errands we had a smoothie, and today we went to Burger King.  Can you imagine nobody in her family has ever eaten fast food before this!  Good for them.  I think of kids in the US and no matter how healthy they are, they still end up with some chicken nuggets and fries here or there.  It's hard to comprehend the idea of a 16 year old who has never had McDonalds or Burger King in her whole life.

Today we made plans for the immediate future, a one year plan, and a five year plan.  Erika will enter 7th grade when she starts school in February.  I told her I know a place that she can complete 2 school grades in one year.  I suggested that we start on a regular schedule and if she feels like she cab handle it, she can do the 2 years in 1 for the second and third year of her studies.  It would cut out two years of studying, but Erika thought it would be too overwhelming.  She said she is fine with graduating at 22 years old.  Many people here graduate a lot older than 22, so she won't appear out of place.  She will keep it in mind as an option though.

We talked about hopes and dreams.  I asked if she imagined herself married with more kids one day in the future.  I thought for sure she would say yes, but her face spoke as loudly as her words.  She said very seriously that she does not want to be married or have more kids.  She did not seem bitter or hurt from her last relationship with Marjory's father.  (We talked about that too.)  She said she just doesn't want to be married unless God puts a good man into her life.  But she doesn't seem very hopeful for that.

Erika said that for now she is happy with the support of her family to raise Marjory.  She is not interested in boyfriends.  That sounds great to me!  I told her if she changes her mind, that she can feel free to talk to me about it because that is part of walking through life together.

We decided we are going to read a book together, although I haven't found the right one yet.  And we will get together to discuss it.  Once she has a bible, Erika would also like to continue doing devotionals.  When I was at the church she really liked the devotional part of the class, and reading biblical verses that pertained to the devotional.  I already have a devotional book for her, but we went shopping for bibles and found that they are $40-$55!  So we are still working on that part.

I had made a list of all of the things I appreciate about Erika - her timeliness, her positive attitude, her ability to continuously exceed my expectations, the fact that she is a great mother, the fact that she asks for nothing but my time, the fact that she likes to spend time with me and if I offer to let her have a few days off she'll say she wants to meet sooner.  Those were some of the things I told her.  I also showed her the personal goals I have made in regards to walking through life with her, which ranged from getting to know each other better, to buying a car seat and having "the talk".

We've already completed a surprising number of goals, considering we've spent less than three weeks together.  Part of that is due to her disposition.  She is always willing to get together and get things done.  I told her I thank God that He chose her to be the first person I work with in my new ministry.  There is nobody else I would rather walk alongside than Erika right now.  But I am keeping my eyes out for people He will call me to serve in the future.

I go to bed tonight with a content, peaceful heart and a smile on my face.  As I think over my time with Erika as well as those awesome hugs and kisses from Lorenzo, Junior and Carlos,  I know that I am loving the people that God called me to love here in Honduras.  What a great feeling!

Marjory enjoys Burger King

We learned today that Marjory loves french fries.  She eats them from the tip down until there is just a stub and then uses her whole hand to shove what's left into her mouth with her palm.  It's pretty funny to watch.  She is saying mamamamama and occasionally papapapa, but never dadada like babies in the US.  I thought that was strange.  She imitates sounds sometimes and is babbling a lot.  She is also taking her first steps.  Erika said that she wraps a towel around Marjory and let her practice walking.  Today Marjorie ate french friends and little bites of Erika's sandwich (Erika always gives Marjory the first bites), then fell asleep nursing.  She is a sweet baby with a good mommy.

Talked to Lorenzo!

AHHHH!!!!!  I am so happy my heart could explode!  I was just talking to Erika on the phone and first of all, she spent the evening working - and being paid for her work!  Also, I told her to say hello to her family, which is part of Honduran culture.  She said that Lorenzo was still up.  I asked if I could talk to him.  She said he was waiting next to the phone to talk to me!

I got to talk to Lorenzo for quite a while and it was totally a two way conversation!  I told him I love him and I miss him and I think about him all of the time.  All of those things are so true.  Of all of the kids at the breakfast program, I must admit I miss Lorenzo the most.  He said he is doing well, and school is good.  School is never good for him.  But I heard happiness in his voice, so that matters more than anything else.

Then Erika put Junior on the phone.  I told Junior that I saw lots of pictures with him when the groups came to visit.  I said he is famous with all of the groups from the United States.  He said he misses me a lot and I told him I miss him more!

Then Erika said that she and her father talked.  He would like Erika to take a class at a school that gives free vocational classes like baking and sewing.  She and her father agreed she would like to take English.  I told her that was a great choice since she was my star English student when we had classes at the church.  And I will always be around to help her out if she ever needs it.  I like the fact that they are talking about these things and that her Dad wants her to get an education!  They agreed Erika will focus on this until she can get into school again for her actual degree.

Today Fany and I walked over to the next colonia for me to buy eye drops.  Everything is burning around here.  It smells like smoke all of the time and my eyes hurt.  Fany's throat hurts.  So I needed to buy some eye drops.  We came across baby clothes on sale for $1 or $2.  I know I said my relationship with Erika will not be materialistic, but the clothes were so cute!  I got 2 dresses, one pair of stretch pants and a top, and those dry panty things you put over cloth diapers so wetness doesn't leak through.

Erika and I have plans for Friday until three when she is going to go to work making tortillas again.

She surprised me again today.  However, today I remembered not to jump to any conclusions as I have in the past.  I called earlier in the day and her mom said Erika would not be home until late.  I asked what time I should call back and her mom said 9 p.m.  Of course I wondered what she was doing out until 9, but I my gut didn't feel like it was anything negative.  Fany said that was too late for her to be out and I said yes, but maybe she is with family.  I figured I would ask the next time I see her, but tonight she told me she was with her father and they were working from 3-9 p.m.!  What great news!  I don't think that making tortillas brings in the big bucks, but I am thrilled that she is working, I am happy that she has an income, and it seems like a good thing that she is with her father too.

Lady's Day Out

I just realized I never wrote about what happened when we took Erika to enroll in her new school.

Fany went to this school and said it is really good, a perfect schedule for Erika as a mother, and not expensive.  It was Fany who made the phone calls and arranged for us to go talk to a teacher.  She offered to go there with us and show us around.

We drove to El Centro (downtown) and parked in a safe lot a few blocks away.  I haven't walked around downtown since 2009 when I got caught in the riots after the president was pulled out of his bed and taken out of the country.  This time was so much more relaxing!

As we approached the school Erika was clearly excited.  She had a huge smile as Fany pointed out the polo shirts that are the school uniform.  Kids were streaming out of morning classes.

We got in the gate by following a car that was passing through, but a guard stopped us and we were not allowed into the office building.  He said the director has given them orders not to allow anyone else inside.  Classes are full.  Nobody else can enroll until next November.  Classes will begin in February 2016.  No way around it.  Nothing we can do.  That is the soonest Erika could go to school there.

Disappointed we decided to go back and feed the birds in front of the cathedral.

Laura throwing feed to the palomas

Laura, Erika, baby Marjory and me

Then Fany took Erika to see where she would pick up a bus if she does attend school, so we got to see more of El Centro.  We did some window shopping.  I tried to imagine Erika taking a bus or collectivo to school each day.  Those are the only two options, but I am NOT happy about the idea.  She'll have to walk on a few blocks where she will have to be very aware of her surroundings, but having grown up in Los Pinos, I am sure she is accustomed to that.

It was nice to see Erika excited about school.  Fany noticed it too.  It was also nice to get out and build experiences with her.  Fany and I continue to see Erika as a good mother to Marjorie.

Although we were not successful in getting Erika enrolled, we made the most of the day and had a good lady's day out.

Second attempt at Erika's school

This morning I was getting ready to walk out the door to pick up Erika when I got a message that her father's phone had tried to call me, but was out of minutes.  So I called the phone expecting that Erika was going to back out of our meeting.  Nope!  She was just calling to confirm.

Fany and I called the new school to see if they are still accepting students.  They were not able to say by phone.  We have to go there and talk to the teachers to see if the teachers have space in their classroom.  They were closed today, so we will go tomorrow.

I picked up Erika and we went to the school and met a lady named Gladys who was really kind.  She called the school where we want to enroll Erika, but nobody there could answer her questions about the requirements of the school, or what paperwork we need.  It seems that the schools in Honduras just changed to a computer system where they can do transfers on the internet.  The school records used to be handwritten.  Gladys is not sure what to send to the school.

Gladys took us to see the director for the transcript.  Thank God for Gladys, because that director was just as mean as I remember.  When Erika told me she has been trying to get the transcript, but the school wouldn't give it to her, I thought it sounded odd and wondered if it were true.  Now I totally believe her.  I'll just say the director is a piece of work.

When she recognized who I was and what I was there for, she said, "We have not had time to prepare the transcript."

I responded with a smile, very calmly, "That's fine.  We are patient."

Well, this lady doesn't like smiles or calm people.  She is the type who is not happy unless she is "stealing the peace" (a Honduran saying) of someone else.  She started talking about papers that she gave to Erika two years ago.  None of those papers were the transcript.  But she said that Erika should use those papers and go to the school to see if she can enroll with just that.  It was clear that she assumed Erika no longer had the papers and was ready to criticize if we asked for them again now.

I checked with Erika to see if she still had the papers after two years and she said she does.  So we started to leave.  When the director saw us leaving without allowing her to steal our peace she started saying that Erika better not get pregnant again.  That was of the blue (in front of a whole classroom of kids).  She went on to say that babies do not deserve to be brought into this world to be neglected.

At that point I could not be quiet.  I told her that she can see Erika's baby is chubby, healthy and well cared for.  I said I have observed Erika to be a very dedicated mother.  You will never find Erika without her baby.  Marjory is with Erika every place that Erika goes.  Of course we do not want Erika to get pregnant again, but we should also look for the best in people, not assume the worst.  Erika has shown me that she is responsible and has changed a lot from what she was doing two years ago.

The truth is that I do want to sit down with Erika and talk about boyfriends and if she is sexually active.  But we have only been at this for two weeks.  I can have that talk with her now, but I was concerned up to this point that she may not feel comfortable telling me the whole truth.  What good would it do to push her into a conversation before she trusted me enough to tell me the truth?  So we are going to have "the talk" this week.  My gut says she doesn't have a boyfriend (or a physical relationship with a boy), but I could be wrong.

When we left, Gladys (the other teacher) walked us out and started talking to me in English.  She gave me her phone number and said she wants to help in any way she can.  I told her I will call if we cannot get Erika into school with the papers she has tomorrow.

Gladys said there is so much need, many of her students go without a daily meal.  I told her that I am very aware of that truth.  I told her about the breakfast program and said although it is about a 2 mile walk, there is food there every morning, Monday through Friday.  If kids are going hungry, it could be worth the walk.

She introduced me to a girl who she was hoping I would take under my wing named Osiris.  She appears to be about 11 or 12 years old.  Osiris walks miles and miles from Los Pinos to this school, which is outside of the city.  Gladys was hoping that I could pass by the girl's house and see the living situation, but after talking briefly with Osiris I learned she lives in Sector F, the worst part of Los Pinos.  My friend Molly, who has been working there for years and knows lots of people there, has not been able to go there for weeks.  There is no way in the world I could go in right now knowing nobody.  Osiris agreed.

Gladys is concerned because Osiris believes she has nobody who really cares about her.  Osiris walks the long walk home collecting plastic bottles and scraps of metal to turn in for money for food.  Otherwise she doesn't eat.  So far Osiris has not turned to illegal or immoral activity to feed herself, but Gladys is concerned with all of the temptation there is on the streets that one day Osiris will turn to an easier way to earn her food.  Once again I encouraged her to go to the breakfast program at the church and said I will pray for Osiris.

If God does want me to be in Osiris' life, He will show me a way.  I don't want to sound cold, but I did not feel a tug from God in this instance.  There are so many needs, I can't possibly meet them all.  All I can do is be open to hearing from God as to how I should meet the needs of those He calls me to serve.

I told Gladys in Spanish, so that Erika could hear, all of the good things I have seen in Erika over the past year.  I said although you guys don't believe it, I have seen a lot of changes in Erika.  She wants to go to school - it was her idea, not mine.  She is a great mother.  She is always on time for our meetings.  I believe she is very responsible.  Gladys was quick to point out to Erika and me that it was not she who said the negative things.  I apologized because she was right.  Gladys never said a negative word.  I told her that I do have faith Erika can turn her life around because when I was 16, Erika's age, I was a mess.  I skipped school and was disrespectful to my teachers.  (And that is leaving out half the story.)  I was just horrible, I told her.  When I was 16 years old, nobody would have guessed that one day I would be a missionary in Honduras.  And here I am.  So there is surely hope for Erika.

Could you please turn that music down?

Today is a joyful day for several reasons.  Of course, it is Easter!  I feel like I have been celebrating since last night.

When I first moved to Honduras and lived in this same house I loved listening to the music from the Catholic church across the street.  I didn't have cable or internet, so I would sit and read with their song in the background.  The church is a huge building with a roof that is angled, but in some places 3 stories tall.  It has lots of windows.  Last night I learned why I can hear the music so clearly.  For the first time I went inside the gates of the church.

Turns out the alter faces diagonally, right at my house.  I was dressed in cut off jeans and a tee-shirt or I would have entered the church.  Almost all of the seats were full.  The incense wafted outside.  I finally got to put a face with the man's voice that I hear singing all of the time.  There was a flute and some other musicians.  At 11:35 it got really rowdy.  They were singing, "He is resurrected from the dead." until midnight.  In Spanish it is a little odd because the word for 'resurrected' is like 'resuscitated' and I had to push the image of someone doing mouth-to-mouth on Jesus out of my head.

I had a restless night.  Even with the house closed up, the music was hard to sleep through.  But how do you get upset about people singing that Christ has risen?  At 4:28 a.m. they got REALLY loud.  Woke me out of my deepest sleep of the night.  This time it was a lady singing.  It was beautiful.  I could feel the Holy Spirit moving from all of the way over here.  Pretty awesome when you realize that by that point they had already been in the vigil for over 9 hours.  I vowed to myself that next year I am going to change out of my cut off jeans, walk over there, and stay for a little while.  Not all 12 hours, but for a while.

My church service was nice too.  At my church we have a different theme that we fast for during the first week of each month.  Last week we fasted to pray for children who are being abused or neglected and healing for adults who were abused as children.  I was super excited about this fast.  The topic is something very close to my heart.  But last week was the worst I have ever done at fasting.  It wasn't the eating part that was hard.  I just could not focus on the fast like I should have.  Other things came up and I allowed them to get in the way.  Then I got mad at myself for allowing things to distract me from the fast, which was not helpful either.  I was pretty discouraged.

Friday I called my friend Carol and asked if I could talk with her.  She is someone I can always turn to for advice.  I can count on her to tell me the truth, even if it is something I don't want to hear.  Carol's advice is biblically based too, so I know it is sound.  We got together for dinner Friday night to talk about the things that were getting in the way of the fast and to watch The Passion of the Christ.  After our talk my heart I was not as confused.  She had some words that really hit home.  She even sent me some bible passages to read the next day.  I did better at fasting on Saturday.  But that was the only day that I can say I was really focused.

Today I talked everything out with Pastor Peter and Pastora Ruth.  After speaking with them I not only feel peace, but also joy and excitement.  I am blessed to have so many people I can turn to for advice.  Fany was out of town for the week, but between Fany, Carol, and my church I always have someone to turn to here.

The power went out this morning.  I was worried it was going to stay out all day like it usually does when it goes out on Sundays.  I hadn't showered in a while, so I was pondering whether I was fit for church.

We are still trying to conserve water.  This week we only got a half hour of water from the city and it wasn't pouring into the cistern very hard at all.  It sounded more like drops than the usual gush of water I hear when the water comes.  There has been no rain for weeks, although I could smell rain close by yesterday.  Big chunks of ash are falling from the sky.  I am not sure where the fires are, but the wind is strong, carrying ash in pieces larger than I have seen before.  Now we are not only sweeping up tons of dust on the patio, but huge pieces of ash too.

I am glad the power came back on this morning because today I was presented with a cool opportunity!  After church I was asked if I would direct the service in two weeks.  I've never done anything like this before.  Directing means I start things off.  I can present a bible verse that God gives me, or share a testimony, or whatever I think God leads me to do.  It can be long or short.  Then I ask if there are any new people and welcome them.  Then I pray for the offering and ask someone else to pray for the person who is giving the message.

When they first asked me to "direct" the service my heart almost stopped.  But as I stood clutching my heart I realized that I have two weeks to prepare and other than having to stand in front of the church, it is not a big deal.  It is actually an honor to be chosen because all of the other adults in the church do it, so it makes me officially one of them.  Now I am excited.  Instead of being fearful I see it as an opportunity.  One of many more opportunities to come, I was told.

Holy Week is over.  Tomorrow things will go back to normal.  I am meeting Erika to take her back to her old school to get the transcript.  I like Erika more and more each time I meet with her.  She is a really special girl.  Now we just need God to show Erika how special she is.