Thursday, June 5, 2014

Standing up

I had a Wonder Woman sort of day.  Not that I did anything spectacular - it was more about what I stopped doing.

This morning someone asked me to do something that I really couldn't do.  They tried to push me into it, but I didn't give in.  I had prior commitments and it was not something I could cancel or change.  I know the person thought I should have backed out of my prior commitment to do what they wanted me to do, but I also know that I was right to stand my ground.

This afternoon we had Pilates class.  One of the ladies kept talking and talking when we were ready to start class.  I invited her twice to begin with us and finally started class without her.  I think she was a little surprised, but we have to leave the church by 3 p.m. and it is not fair to the others if everyone had a shorter class because one person was standing and talking.

Tonight I got home and was disappointed.  The lady who cleans my house didn't even do the basics.  Again.

In Honduras if you have enough money to feed yourself (and in many cases even if you don't) you help someone else by hiring them to clean your house.  When I first moved here I was shocked to see that everyone had cleaning ladies.  Some even had live in help, when they could barely pay their own rent and put food on the table.  It's kind of a "hand me down" system.  I have a little, so I can give a little to you is the mentality.

I was shocked when I moved into my house in the mountains.  Part of the lease said I would pay for my own cleaning lady.  Did my landlords think I was rich?  In my North American mind if a person hired someone else to clean for them that meant they had at least a little extra money.

Soon after I learned that a young girl from the church just had a baby and needed a job.  She lives nearby and is trustworthy, so I hired her to clean my house for $5 per day - the going rate.  I really liked her.  We made Christmas cookies together and did other little things together to give her an occasional break from cleaning.  She worked with me for almost a year, but then her schedule got too busy.  That was fine.  I can clean my own house.

As soon as my neighbors heard that Cindy was not coming anymore they said they knew someone who needed work and was reliable.  This lady's husband left her and their 2 kids because the lady decided to go to school.  Her husband did not want her to get an education.  That story tugged on my heartstrings, so I said sure.  I will hire her and help her afford to go to school.  (We are talking high school here, not university.)

Well, this lady did not work out as well.  I wrote notes, I left lists, I talked to her and even tried once to fire her but she asked for one more chance.  Today was the end of "one more chance".  I had to let her go.  It was not fun.  I did not like a second of it.  She tried to argue.  But afterward it felt empowering.

So today I stood up for myself.  Three times.  And it felt good.

Oscar Daniel's bruised belly is all better and Milagro didn't mention anything about her tooth hurting.  Kebelin is studying for an English test.  She said, "What will I do while you are gone?????!!!"  That made me feel really good.  She seems to understand her English homework for the first time.  She says she is the only one in her class who understands.  I hope she won't fall behind while I am gone.

All of the ladies continue to improve at Pilates.  Ana can do a sit up now.  Veronica learned how to roll like a ball today.  Delia can do jackknife without me propping up her butt anymore.  And Ada is a power house.  She is the athlete of the group.  I am proud of Ana for sticking with it.  She is the only one who has come to every class.  I know it is really hard for her.  She can't do a lot of what the others do.  But she doesn't give up.  She stays positive.  She says it is getting easier and I can see the improvement.  They are sad that I will be gone and they will miss out on their class over the next few weeks.  They even jokingly suggested that we try a class over Skype.  Instead I will write down a workout plan for them to do at home while I am gone.  I will be curious to see if they follow through without the classes.   It's a lot harder to work out on your own.

Picnics in La Tigra and Pizza

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately, but it rains every night so I rarely have internet which means I can't share my thoughts here.

One week from today I will wake up in the US.  To be honest I have mixed feelings.  I will be gone for 28 days and that feels like too long.  But it is the only way I could fit everything in and still afford the flight.  Tickets around the 4th of July were pricey so I had to come back later than I would have chosen.

Last week I taught Samuel (age 4) how to use a seat belt.  He has a hard time getting it on and off, but he loves to use it, which is a plus for me since he is not used to sitting down in a car.

I also learned that Maria Angelica has never been to McDonalds.  Actually I bet many of the kids have not been to McDonalds because I only know of 2 McDonalds here (Burger King and Wendy's are a lot more common).  I have a plan to get permission from her mother and take Angelica to McDonalds on her birthday.

I officially learned that I will be speaking for 5 minutes at my church in the US.  Then last night it turned into, "could you talk to ....... and work together to give the message".  I am actually hoping to have a longer amount of time because it feels like there is too much to say in only 5 minutes.  The only problem is that I will be in the woods in Colorado starting next week so we won't have much time to prepare.

Yesterday Belinda announced to the kids that they no longer have to do homework when they come in the morning.  We are back to the old way, where we play every day and they ask for help if they need it.  I am willing to bet grades will go down.  But the number of kids we serve will go up.  They don't like coming to the church and having to sit and do school work.  As Walter explained to me this morning, the church is their sanctuary.  Their only safe place.  And if they are not going to come because we require them to do homework then our good intentions are backfiring.  Their safety and happiness needs to come first and from there we can work on grades the best we can.

I am disappointed that the homework way didn't work, but I agree with Walter.  If having to do homework is keeping kids out of the church, then we need to change our approach.  The good news is, today a lot of kids were still asking for help to do their homework!

On June 7th the meeting with the leadership will be held to see how I can best serve.  I am excited to see what they decide for me.  Several people from the church have approached me about English classes and I know they did not hear that from me, so word is spreading fast and a lot of people are interested.  Even my car mechanic wants to sign up!

Last weekend was a little dreary outside.  Hardly any of the adults went to swim.  Even the bus driver cancelled, so I drove everyone in my car.  I am becoming a real Honduran in the sense that I have learned to squeeze a million people into my car.  After swimming one of the girls from the restaurant asked if she could ride with us to church.  I said sure!  I was very excited - this was the whole point of including people from outside the church.  She seemed to really like the service.  I think she will come back next week with her Aunt and her Aunt's friend!

Pilates classes are also going great.  So far we have had 4 classes.  The two ladies who have come to every class are improving tremendously!  It is so fulfilling to me to watch them do things that only a few days before they couldn't.  They are now able to walk and hardly have any sore muscles so I think I need to push them a little harder.  But easy does it with this group.

I have gotten myself into pretty good shape over the past 3 weeks.  It's amazing what you can do with weights that you can't do in other ways.  I was running for months, but nothing changed my form like 3 weeks lifting weights.

My landlords gave me a going away dinner last weekend because they are busy this weekend.  Then they explained all the work they will do on my house while I am gone.  I will get a new coat of paint and one wall will be tiled with pretty tiles.  That will be nice to come home to!

Today at Buen Provecho I was part nurse.  One boy had hit his stomach so hard that he had a lump and a bruise.  He said it really hurt.  It took me a while to catch on to the fact that it wasn't his tummy that hurt.  He never did explain to anyone how he got the black and blue knot under his ribs.  We gave him pain reliever and had him lie down for a while.  Now that I think of it, maybe we should have been more concerned about internal bleeding.  But he spent most of the day with us and seemed a lot better when he left.

Milagro told me that she was having pain in her mouth.  Turned out she had a molar coming in.  More pain reliever and a bottle to go home so her mother could give it to her at home too.  Then Milagro started telling me this story that today is her birthday but she can't celebrate because her tooth hurts.  I think the story stemmed from the fact that I told her she was getting a new molar in her mouth and that is why her mouth hurt - because she is growing up.  Anyway, I never did really figure out if it was her birthday today or not because then she said her birthday is very far.  Who knows.

The younger kids are going to do a dance on Sunday at church.  They will have pom poms and everything.  I am trying to figure out how to let go of them since I won't be their teacher any more.  It will be hard for me.  They have finally learned to come to me with lumps in their armpits and bruises on their ribs, or when they have new teeth coming in.  I am the one they count on.  It will be a difficult transition for them and for me.  Hopefully whoever takes my spot will not be hurt or angry if they still come to me occasionally for things.

Last week in church Samuel and his family sat with me.  When we took communion Samuel chose a piece of bread that had the crust on it.  I looked down and he was flicking the seeds and grains from the top of the crust.  When he saw me watching he said, "Jesus' skin is dirty!"  I was not sure how to respond to that.  I never thought of the crust as Jesus' skin before.  Samuel saw the bewildered look on my face and thought we had a language barrier, so he started pointed to and pulling at his own skin on his arm, saying, "His skin. His skin.  It's dirty!"  Oh Samuel.  I learn something from him almost every day.

On Saturday we had an outing.  The whole church was invited to La Tigra.  I was so happy to see entire families from Los Pinos having the time of their lives.  It was really a fun day.  We played all sorts of traditional games like jump rope and potato sack races and Honduran Dodgeball.  We even had horseback rides for all ages.  It was a super good time.  Afterward we walked to a little place on a lake where a lady sells coffee and ended the day there.  Everyone loved it.  It was a huge success.

Ana and her kids all came to my house for dinner that night.  They were my first dinner guests ever, which is strange because I used to entertain a lot when I lived in North America.  We made pizza together and then headed back down into the city because I really should not be driving to Los Pinos in the evening.  It gets dark here so early, it was after dark when I dropped them off, but I made it back home safely.  I was really, really glad I invited them to my house.

Ana is one of my very closest friends.  I also love her kids.  Her oldest son is 14 and very, very responsible.  The next is 10 and he is the sweetest, most caring boy ever.  Then there is Samuel.  If you haven't caught on yet, he is a handful.  And Isabela is almost 16 months.  She is a doll.  Everyone remarks about how she somehow decided to attach herself to me.  I don't mind a bit.

Ana is someone who, when you talk to her often responds, "Well, as the bible says..."  I like that.  I also like that she does not fall into the common Honduran practice of criticism or gossip.  She is very positive and ALWAYS grateful.  Her family sometimes goes without food.  But she is grateful for everything they do have.  I can honestly say I don't think I have ever heard Ana complain.  I will miss Ana and her family a lot while I am in the US.  I feel blessed to know her and be her friend.

Jose enjoying the afternoon in La Tigra

Anai resting in the sun

A swinging game I had never seen before

Luis swinging Anai and Jose's Mom

Horseback ride

Ethel, president of the church, with my friends Lucy and Hermida

Walter wearing his K2 shirt


Ana, Isabela, Me and Delia
Delia also serves at Buen Provecho

The staff of Buen Provecho
Ada, Ana, Isabela, Eunice, Samuel, Delia, Me and Don Juan

Don Juan is going to transplant flowers from La Tigra to the churc
Isa

Samuel and David at my house

Homemade Pizza!

Samuel eating pizza

David was exhausted, but hungry

Jired

Ana and Isa enjoying their pizza