On December 26th I was taking out the garbage when I twisted my ankle and tore a ligament in my left ankle. At first I thought I was okay. I finished taking out the garbage and I could walk on it, but it hurt a lot. I iced it and rested. Two hours later my ankle bone literally looked like an egg. My Mom suggested I go to the doctor just to get it wrapped up.
When I went to the doctor's office they took me straight into the emergency room. The doctor there had me wiggle my toes. Then he pressed on my ankle and I surprised even myself with a scream. He stopped the exam and looked up at me. He said I would need a cast and an orthopedic specialist. He told me to call a family member because I should be accompanied. Then he sent me off for xrays while they contacted the orthopedist on call.
I contemplated calling someone, but I really didn't want to make someone come and sit in the doctor's office with me. Also, not many of my friends have cars, so it would be a big hassle for most of them. Knowing that the doctor thought I should be accompanied by a family member made me feel very alone and a little sorry for myself.
Xrays showed no broken bones. The orthopedist came quickly. He asked what happened. When I told him I heard and felt a loud POP as I fell he nodded knowingly. His examination was simple. He pressed on the bones down by my toes, then took one finger and placed it on a spot on my ankle. I held back the scream this time, but my heart started pounding out of my chest and I was breathing like I just ran 10 miles. He looked at my face, saw the pain, and rolled his chair back over to the computer.
When he finished typing he rolled back to my examining table. He said I needed a cast and would be on bedrest for a month. He showed me how he wanted me to walk with the crutches - supporting my weight on the crutches, but moving the foot as if it were walking to avoid muscular dystrophy.
I asked how many minutes per day I should be walking like that. He seemed surprised and gave me a look that said, "Clearly you are not hearing me," so I paid closer attention. He said I need to be lying in bed, or on a sofa, with the leg elevated, for a month. I should only stand up to go to the bathroom and back to the sofa, or to bed. Complete bedrest for a month. He asked if I needed a doctor's note for work.
I had been calm through the exams and the xrays. I could live with a cast for a month. But then it hit me: No work!?!!!! My eyes filled with tears and I went through the first three stages of grief right there on the examining table - denial, anger and bartering. (Depression hit when I got home and lasted three days. Acceptance finally set in on Friday.)
After telling me several times in several ways that no, I could not work, he started the process of putting on the cast. I really don't remember that part well. I was too upset.
Trying to change the subject, he asked where I am from. I never know how to answer that question. I told him my family live in Colorado. He said, "They have good runs there. Have you been to Aspen?" (in Spanish). Runs? How funny, I thought. Then he started talking about people who have been killed by skiing into trees. In the end we were singing John Denver songs.
My tears stopped. I was in one of those situations that happens every so often here, where the whole thing is so bizarre it seems unreal. Singing John Denver with my doctor as he casts my foot. He didn't even ask me what color I wanted for the cast, I think he feared if he brought me back to reality I would cry again.
We went back and forth with John Denver songs, "Do you know this one? Take me home, country roads...," we would both sing together. He knew a few I didn't, which was surprising because I loved John Denver since I was a tiny. By the time he started singing "Thank God I'm a country boy,"in a Spanish accent the cast was on.
He told me I'd need to buy crutches and a boot to protect the cast. He warned me if it got wet or damaged in any way my insurance would not pay for a new one. He prescribed some pain killers and had the nurse wheel me out in a wheelchair to pay. I hated being in that wheelchair.
I called my taxi friend. He said he was with another fare, but could pick me up in an hour. All of the stores would be closed and I needed crutches, so I called my Pastora. She happened to be leaving the church a few blocks away, so she and her family came to get me. I think they were surprised to see me wheeled out in a wheelchair with a huge cast on my leg. We got the crutches and boot thing. Then they dropped me off at home.
I was depressed. I thought of all of the things I had planned to do. I had started looking for a newer car. I had bills to pay. The floor needed to be swept and mopped. I was almost out of drinking water and cat food. What would I do for a MONTH? I am used to being so independent. I do not like being physically dependent on others.
I talked to a missionary friend who knew a housekeeper. In Honduras most people who are middle class or above have housekeepers. It costs less than $10 per day, so I guess they figure, why not? But things tend to disappear or get broken.
When I lived up in the mountains years ago my neighbors asked me to hire their housekeeper. They couldn't pay her for two months and she needed work. She worked for them for seven years. They told me she was trustworthy. After she stole all of my best jewelry, my phone, my computer and even my glasses they said she had actually stolen from them before. Strangely enough, as far as I know she still works for them to this day.
As you can imagine, I was not thrilled with the idea of a housekeeper. But I also realized Fany couldn't do it all. And she shouldn't have to. She was helping out a lot, but she couldn't keep going at that pace for a month.
The housekeeper came on Thursday. My house was cleaner than ever before! She also seemed very nice. She was supposed to come again on Saturday but she called me to say that she couldn't make it. Fany also left on Saturday, so I'm alone until Tuesday when the housekeeper is supposed to come again.
In the meantime I managed to get my cast soaking wet. Just as the doctor warned, I had to pay full price for a new cast. He gave me a break, but it still cost $300. That was a bummer because my Mom and a friend gave me money totaling $300. I wanted to use it for the housekeeper and Spanish classes. I figured if I worked on my Spanish then this month of bedrest would be a somewhat productive. It was my boss's suggestion. But before I could use the money for classes, I needed it for the cast.
I expected my foot to look better by Saturday. But when I the doctor took off the wet cast and put on the new one my ankle was still extremely swollen and very colorful. This time the doctor did let me choose the color of my cast. He didn't sing John Denver songs with me, but he did offer me his personal phone number. He said I can call him for anything I need or desire. I ran that by a couple of friends to see if they thought it seemed like a strange thing to say. They agreed it was gross and inappropriate.
I spent New Year's Eve lying in my bed while the world exploded around me. Fireworks are big here. But they are not fireworks like in the US with pretty colors. Most fireworks here are just loud explosions that make the house tremble and car alarms go off mixed with a few colorful ones. It sounded like a war zone all night long until about 6 am. Today, the 2nd, it is finally strangely silent.
Sunday I was in a lot of pain. I think it's from moving around to go to the doctor's office on Saturday. It was more pain than I even suffered with the initial injury. Today it's a little better than yesterday. I'm hoping if I lie still I'll feel better soon.
In the midst of this it really hit me how many amazing friends I have. I have true friends who I can really count on, and lots of them. Last night a friend was pounding at my gate with cupcakes. I couldn't go answer, but she was there! Yesterday afternoon another friend came over with her second delivery of a week's worth of food. Thanks to her I'm eating healthy and not lying here feeling like a fat pig. Fany cleaned my house last week on Tuesday and has been bringing over random meals for me too. She purposely stayed in town longer to help me out last week when she could have been with her husband and his family. If she's not here, she calls and sends me sweet messages. People from my church keep calling, asking how they can help and when they can stop by. Friends from work send messages. Ana and her kids want to come over.
It was Ana who finally helped me find peace about this bedrest. I was freaking out about gaining weight from being so sedentary. I was worried about keeping the house clean, feeding myself, and getting bills paid. I was concerned I would waste a whole month of my life! And who is going to let the cat in and out? (Turns out she seems content to lie in bed with me and barely wants to move.)
Ana reminded me that many people would LOVE to have a month to rest. She is right. After that I went from being stressed to seeing this as a luxury. I may never be able to do this again. I need to make the most of it! As I told the doctor, I can lie in bed annoyed and frustrated, or I can lie in bed and be peaceful. I am now choosing peace. I have a lot of books to read. I've made a rule - no tv before 7 p.m. That is surprisingly easy to follow.
So, that is why you haven't heard from me for a while. I have another doctor's appointment on January 16th. I'll get the cast off and the doctor will tell me if I need a new one or if I am healing well.
Here are photos from Saturday:
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| I was surprised it was still so swollen. My ankle bone barely protruded at all. |
The skin on the bottom of my foot was already peeling off from the cast being wet.
