I feel like today is my first day of college, my graduation, my birthday and like an Olympic champion all in one. A new start, a completion, a fresh beginning, and overcoming all odds.
Last night I made plans to meet with Erika, a girl I met through Buen Provecho. She comes from one of the roughest families of all Los Pinos. Her younger brothers are badly malnourished to the point where they have significant learning delays. I suspect some abuse somewhere too, because her brother Carlos has no life in his eyes and Lorenzo is scared and shuts down completely over the littlest thing. But Erika may turn out to be the success story of the family.
I first met Erika officially a year ago. We had been around each other before at Buen Provecho, but I didn't really spend time with her. Then she got pregnant at 14 years old and stopped coming to the program. One day she showed up again and I was one of the people who encouraged her to continue to join us every day. We'd eat lunch together. If she didn't show up one day I would ask where she was and tell her I had missed her. I went to the US in June and kept her in my prayers the whole time I was gone.
Then in July she gave birth. It is Honduran custom not to leave the house for the first 40 days, so people were shocked when she showed up at the church with a 2 week old baby. But I knew it was okay and she needed the food in order to breast feed, so I told her she needed to return to the program. We made sure she had vitamins and we kept track of everything she ate. Thinking back, it makes me giggle. We were normally so strict with equal portions, but Erika got as much food as the biggest boys, if not more. And then my friend Ana and I would stand in the kitchen and watch out the window to see how much she ate. We loved seeing her eat huge lunches! We were so happy to be able to do that for her. Hahaha! We could have told you exactly how much she ate each week.
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| Erika's first day back with baby Marjory 14 days old |
I remember Erika's little brother, Lorenzo, would finish school and come running in. Rather than head for his plate of food he would go straight to the baby. He'd hug her and kiss her so gently and beautifully. He is a great 10 year old uncle.
Then I was allowed to teach the teens. That was the highlight of my time at Buen Provecho, the thing I felt I could do that really made a difference. One of the ways I believe it made a difference was with Erika. Erika had not been in school by that point for a long time. I tutored Lorenzo and knew he was very delayed. So I was pleasantly surprised to learn that once Erika got the nerve to speak up, she was actually very intelligent.
In the beginning she was painfully shy. But I praised her and praised her about her ability to learn and speak English. She hardly had any accent at all. Soon she became the star of the English class and the bible study. When we discussed values and the theme of the months she always had a thoughtful answer. I had to stop calling on her because she was the one who always raised her hand and knew all the answers! I was so proud of her. I wanted her to be proud of herself too. I don't think she had ever felt successful at anything before. Except maybe her beautiful baby. She was always proud of baby Marjory.
Nobody minded having baby Marjory in the class with us. Occasionally she cried. Often she breast fed. It was never a distraction. I think the others were happy to see Erika excelling too. We all pitched in and held the baby if Erika was working on something that needed both hands. Erika was always an attentive, loving mother. We had to encourage her to do kid things now and then because 15 years old is just too young to be a full time mother.
When I left Buen Provecho, I never got to say good bye to the kids. Some of them know I am close to Ana. They still ask her about me and she tells them that I am fine and I send my love. Not being able to tell them good bye bothered me. They have already had enough loss and inconsistency in their lives. There was nothing I could do. Just yesterday Ana told me that one of the teens asked about me. She tells them that I said hello and I miss them.
But back to Erika. Erika had started to trust me and open up to me. I got the impression that she didn't open up to many people. She mostly had one friend that she spent time with. So I took it as an honor.
Now skip ahead to last Monday when I saw Carlos standing there with his eyes so dull. I knew God was calling me to serve in Los Pinos. But I still wasn't sure how until He gave me someone to meet with the next day who explained to me about how she serves individuals or families. She is helping a girl through the process of getting into college - studying for exams and filling out paperwork. She is ministering to a woman who is very, very ill. She is doing bible studies with single mothers. She doesn't have a specific, one size fits all, cookie cutter method. She adjusts what she does depending on the needs of the person or family.
I thought to myself, I know plenty of people with needs. I may not be able to meet all of their needs myself, but I can walk with them as they face the challenges they face in every day life. So that is what God told me He wanted me to do. Walk side by side with the people of Los Pinos. Meet them where they are (not physically), find out what they need, and walk beside them as they reach for their goals. I can teach people whose dreams have been stifled to dream big. I can show them how their relationship with God can get them through anything.
So that is what I am doing.
Today my meeting with Erika was great. I was surprised we both arrived at our designated meeting place at the same exact time. Although I shouldn't have been surprised because God has been so good in orchestrating every detail of this. She literally walked down the mountain path directly to where I pulled up and stopped my car. She jumped in and we took off. I guess Erika doesn't operate on "Honduran Time".
It was awkward at first. I think because we hadn't seen each other in a while and because she didn't really know why I was there. We went to a street where there is a McDonalds, Burger King, Pizza Hut, and Pollo Campero. I asked which she would like. She said she didn't care and I could tell she didn't know the difference. So I chose Wendy's. We sat and talked for 2 hours.
I explained that I think it must be hard to be a young mother and I would like to support her in any way I can. I said clearly that I can't provide material support, but I can talk with her and help get things done. I will study the bible with her and be a mentor to her. Erika said that yes, she would like to be discipled. I told her we can do fun things too, like walk around the mall and look at things, or watch movies or paint our nails. Or just sit and talk. She seemed to like all of those ideas.
I explained how God had shown me that he wants me to work with the people of Los Pinos and specifically with her first.
We talked about her family. I always get confused and I had forgotten that she is Carlos, Junior, Kenia and Lorenzo's sister. I thought she was their cousin. Dad and Mom both live with her, although sometimes Dad works out of town. That is a miracle in Los Pinos. My friend Ana was married 15 years until her husband left her for another woman and she is the only person I know who held on to a man that long in Los Pinos. Erika is 16 years old, which means her father has been around for at least 16 years.
We talked about Marjory. She seems to be developing well. She is chubby. She goes to the doctor when necessary. The only thing that she needs are clothes, Erika said. I am going to talk to friends and see if anyone knows someone with a baby who is a little bigger and could give Marjory hand-me-downs. Erika is taking prenatal vitamins since she is still nursing. Marjory seems to be a happy baby. She seems very curious, always looking around at everything.
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| Curious Marjory |
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| Happy Mommy, happy baby |
We decided that the first thing we should do is get Erika enrolled in school. She hasn't been able to get the papers from her old school to transfer to night school. I called my friend Molly, who also serves in Los Pinos and has experience with the schools. I asked if she would come with us to get the transcripts. She said sure, so tomorrow at about noon I am picking up Molly and Erika and we are going to try to get the school to release the transcripts. From there Erika says she can enroll in school. Her father will support her in that financially, she says. and her mother will watch the baby.
Seems like a perfect first step.
I am can't wait to see where this leads - one year from now, or when Erika is in her 20's. Both of us are excited about the future and looking forward to spending time together. This afternoon I reminded myself that we are also human. We may let each other down. That, too, is part of doing life together. But if we follow in the path that God has laid out for us, we will be just fine.
