Something sad has been stuck in my mind today. Yesterday as we were walking out of Los Pinos, Carlos's younger brother, Fernando, was up above us, peeking at us through some tall grass. Molly called out to him, happy to see him. He came down to say hello, but you could see right away that he was high and would have preferred to stay hidden.
Molly asked for a hug and he was hesitant, probably because he didn't want her to smell whatever he had been huffing. We had a short conversation. He wasn't making much sense. Molly told Fernando that she is worried about him. He laughed it off.
Then we walked away in silence.
When I first met Carlos in 2009, Fernando tagged along at times. My hope was that he would get off the streets before he got older and fell in with the wrong crowd. Unfortunately, the streets are eating him alive. He has a biological mother, but she doesn't care for him. So he is basically on his own. With whatever he is huffing at the moment.
I can't get Fernando and his goofy grin out of my head. His smile is so similar to Carlos's smile, but their lives are so different. Fernando was given pretty much the same opportunities as Carlos was given. Carlos picked one path. Fernando picked another.
As we walked away with our hearts aching for Fernando, I said to the two women I was walking with, "That has to hurt Carlos so much." They agreed. Carlos has a tender heart. Seeing his brother make bad choices, life threatening choices, has to tear him apart.
I know that a lot of people are already praying for Fernando. Many have been praying for Fernando since 2009. His mind is so clouded by drugs, I don't know how he will ever see the light.
At the same time I give thanks for Carlos. the good choices he makes, and his tender heart. Praise God that Carlos is far, far from the little boy who lived on the streets when I first met him. He knows and loves God. He is respectful, well mannered and extremely caring.
To end on a funny note I will share something that made me laugh last week when I was with Carlos. We were speaking in English. Carlos likes to practice with Molly and me when he gets the chance. He told us that someone stole his phone. He said that night he was lying in his bed, really angry, and he called God.
Molly and I were sitting in the front of my car. He was in the back. We looked at each other to see if we had both heard the same thing. Then we turned around and looked at Carlos. I said, "You called God?" And Molly started laughing. Then Carlos started laughing too. He realized his grammatical mistake. He meant to say he "called out to" God.
"Yes!" he said. "I have God's phone number. Do you want it? The call is free!"
You can imagine how the jokes flowed from there. Carlos loved making us laugh. He said I would probably laugh about that for a week. And you know what? That was a week ago. So he was right. I did laugh for a week about Carlos calling God on the phone.
Too bad Fernando doesn't have a phone.
