Back in Honduras

Got back to Honduras, safe and sound, with all of my suitcases and my cat on Thursday afternoon.  I was really worried about bringing Jetty with me.  However, she was perfectly calm about the whole thing.  18 hours in a little bag didn't seem to phase her a bit.   She has settled right in to her new home and, as usual, is making friends with everyone she meets.  Today Jose is taking me to buy a litter box and cat food.  Yesterday Jairo tried - but that's a story for later.

I purposely am not posting about my "vacation".  It was nothing that I expected and many things I didn't expect.  Thank God for my mother.  Let's leave it at that.

I did get to meet some of the people who are sponsoring me that I've not met before.  That was nice.  Wish I could have caught up with others.

Left Colorado Wednesday night.  Accidentally got to the airport almost 3 hours before my flight.  Normally I wouldn't mind being early, but this time it meant extra time in the cat carrier for poor Jett.  Got to Honduras at noon on Thursday.  I wasn't sure what to expect from the people who had to approve Jett to leave the airport.  The were nice as can be.  They needed help to translate the records to make sure she had her rabies shot.  I paid the 500 lempiras and they said "cheque" which means okay, or everything is in order.  I always love that word.  Karla says it a lot.  But I have never been happier to hear "cheque" before.  With some kind words and a small payment, Jett and I were free to go home!

Lourdes and Jairo were at the airport to meet me.  They were shocked at all of my luggage.  I had 2 suitcases (each 50 lbs on the dot), a big backpack as my carry on and Jetty as my personal item.  We lugged it all to the car and by the time we payed the attendant at the airport parking lot I already felt at home.

I did have some moments of panic later in the evening when I began to question if I can keep Jett safe and healthy here.  It is hard to keep her from drinking the water from the sinks or shower or the water that drips through the ceiling every time it rains.  I guess I will have to just wait and see what happens.  I am scared she will drink the water and get sick :(

The first thing I did when I got home was sweep and mop the floors.  A lot of cockroaches died while I was gone and they were all upside down on my floor.  I found out later that my neighbor had a fumigator at her house so she asked them to blow the fumes into my window too.  Thus the abundance of dead cockroaches.  I hope this will mean less live ones in the future!

After the house was clean I unpacked all of my stuff, put pictures on the walls and my knife set in the kitchen.  That felt nice.

I was homesick when all of the work was done, missing my mom.  So I called her and she reminded me that I was exhausted, hadn't slept in 2 nights, and assured me I would feel better when I get to see the kids in the morning.

Of course she was right.  Yesterday morning I got up and got ready for Lourdes and Jairo to pick me up.  It was so nice to wake up with Jetty next to me.  I read my devotional and it was about being homesick!  That little message from God was all it took to remind me that I am in the right place.

I think some of the kids were surprised to see me come back to the breakfast program.  So many people leave, I don't think they expected to see me so soon.  But they were happy to see me, especially Marlin and her kids, Misael and Meylin.  All three of them ran to me with their arms open for hugs.  Lourdes said that Marlin was faithful in running the breakfast program while we were gone.  The kids had a long time of prayer and lots of singing before breakfast.  Finally I know most of the words to the songs.  I am still learning the hand motions ;)

I was excited to give Marlin her birthday present - a bible.  Her eyes welled up with tears and she was completely silent.  But her smile said it all.  She gave me several big hugs and said thank you later, when she could speak.  Now she will not have to borrow a bible from the church.  Eunice said that just last week Marlin was asking about buying a bible, but it was too expensive.  I think she loved her gift.  I certainly loved being able to give it to her.

Beautiful girls dressed for Indian Day

The garb of traditional dancers, with beads and ruffles.

Kenya kept asking to get her picture taken.  She was very proud of her costume.

It was Indian Day, a national holiday, so some of the kids dressed as the native people used to and entered contests at their school.  Kids from the breakfast program got first, second and third place in the contest!  They were proud of their costumes and wanted their pictures taken.  Some of the girls were dressed as dancers, with traditional white dresses.  The dresses are all the same, but they add embroidery to make the dresses more special, and then wear things in their hair and long beads around their necks.  Other girls were dressed as Indians, with little leather tops and a sort of loin cloth/skirt.  They had special sandals that were simple and flat, made of leather.  To me, Meylin's costume was the best.  But by applause she got second place.  She had long, fake braids which she loved.  Keep in mind she doesn't have much hair because her mother was sick with Lupus when Meylin was born.  She wore those braids all day, even after she took off the rest of her costume.

Meylin in her second place costume

After the kids left the breakfast program Jairo offered to take me shopping.  I forgot that I had given my ID to someone so they could pick up a package for me.  (I think the package my friend, Bill Frausto, sent is finally here.)  Apparently it is a big package, because the person who went to get it for me came back empty handed saying he needs more money before they will release it to him.  Anyway, Jairo and I went shopping and it wasn't until I was at the check out that I realized I only had my credit card.  They wouldn't let us buy anything without ID and Jairo had given the same guy who had my ID all of his money to change it to Lempiras.  So we left the store empty handed.  I felt bad for wasting Jairo's time.  He said he had a strange feeling that something was going to go wrong, and figured it had to do with paying for the groceries, but he didn't want to doubt my ability to buy groceries so he tried to push the feeling aside and said nothing.  I told him next time I would not be offended if he asked!

When we got back to the church Marlin, Don Juan, and Lourdes were going through food from another load that was thrown away by the grocery store.  I thought it was appropriate that we were digging through food from the garbage on my first day back, since that is what I did as soon as I got off the plane last time.  I did appreciate that this load was clean and not smelly, unlike my first experience.  All that could not be used for the breakfast program was bagged up with people's names and we delivered it on the way home.

Lourdes and I had a long talk as we waited for Jairo to finish a marriage counseling session.  She was happy that I got to spend so much quality time with my mother and enjoy my mother's company and support while I was home.  Lourdes always helps me clarify my own thoughts about things, so I really enjoy our conversations.  She is able to point out things that I wouldn't see on my own.  I always feel reassured after talking with Lourdes.  It is such a huge blessing to be able to sit down and talk with Lourdes and Jairo on almost a daily basis.  I asked if I could become a disciple of someone (have a mentor), now that I am officially here full time.  I asked Lourdes to decide who she thinks will be best for me.  I will also be joining a small group.

Jairo is looking for a vehicle for me.  He said he doesn't want others to know it is for a gringa, or they will charge more.  He said he will use his connections.

Last night I was invited to the Sarmientos for dinner.  We picked up Lourdes' sister, Belinda,  and her kids and headed up the mountain, stopping along the way to drop off bags of food.  We also stopped at the Pacheco's house because all of the Pachecos got food poisening from Little Ceasar's pizza and are very sick.  Lourdes had medicine for them.  And they said they are drinking "Ga-toe-ra-day" (Gatorade).  I giggled over that.

It was after 8 pm by the time we got to the Sarmiento's house.  Aaron is away visiting relatives.  Joss was busy on her new computer, which was given to her by a special friend in the US.  After dinner Jairo and Belinda worked on something for the church.  Lourdes got out the Magic Jack and told me to call my mother, so I did.  She told Lourdes and me about the young man who shot and murdered all of the people at the Batman premier in Colorado, close to her house.  The only good thing that came out of that is the presidential candidates agreed to stop campaigning and pulled their slanderous ads from the Colorado stations for a few days.  Lourdes turned on the news here in Honduras.  Even here, the tragedy in Colorado was all they were talking about.  Then we tried, unsuccessfully to call a few more mutual friends.  Finally we had procrastinated enough and had to get some work done ourselves.  I am now Lourdes' Facebook administrator too.  She asked me to post some pictures for her and told me what to write.  So I spent until after 11 pm doing things for Lourdes on the internet.

As we headed home I joked that they already had me working 13 hour days.  Lourdes said yes, I had been on vacation too long so she was going to wring all of the energy out of me now that I am back.  Really, spending 13 hours in the church and at the Sarmiento's home is a pleasure.  But Jetty was happy to see me when I got home.  We curled up and went to sleep.

Today Jose is taking me to the pet store.  I am hoping I can talk him into the grocery store too.  This time I will remember my ID.  Fany, my neighbor, and I sat outside this morning and talked.  I woke early (6:45) and jumped out of bed when I heard the man outside yelling "AGUAAAA!".  I am out of water and had to bring some home from the church just to get through the night.  So I bolted out the door, then realized he was still on the street behind my house.  I rested and waited for him to come to my street.  I have water now, but still feel like I could have used a few more hours of sleep.

Oh, I forgot to mention the new changes in my neighborhood!  First of all, the entrances to my colonia (neighborhood) now have tall, green, metal gates that form a complete barrier across the entire street and the sidewalks.  The only way through to pass through is when a guard lifts the metal bar.  The guards want to know exactly where you live, which is hard since there are no street names here.  I figure they will learn my face more quickly now that I am back for good, since I believe I am the only gringa in my neighborhood.  They are very tight about closing the gate before and after each car now, whereas they used to stand in the road and talk to each car, but keep the gate open.  Also - the most exciting thing - is that a new pulperia opened just a few houses away!  I passed it on my way to my old pulperia.  They are advertising to be a mini supermarket instead of a pulperia.  They will carry meat and all kinds of cheeses.  But at this time they are not fully stocked, which was actually nice because I could see how clean the place was.  I stopped in for queso fresco (soft cheese) which they didn't have yet, but they said they will have it soon and it will be very good quality.  Exciting!

Gotta run for now.  Jose just called to say he will be here in 15 minutes to take me shopping.  He said he is going to "horn" when he is outside.  We've had this talk before.  When he gets here I will remind him that he "beeps" when he gets outside, he doesn't "horn".  His English is so perfect I love to tease him when he makes funny mistakes like that.

Later -

Happy to be home, but I miss the kids

The trip back to the states was uneventful.  My suitcase was the first one off the belt, so I didn't have any worries about it being lost this time.

It is a little strange being in the US.  In some moments I feel like I never left.  Other times I feel like a stranger here.  At first it was hard to speak English because I am so used to Spanish now, but as of today I think I have gotten over that.

I still, however, keep forgetting that in the US we flush our TP.

Happy to be in the states, but I do miss the kids.  Trying to enjoy every moment here because I know time here will pass quickly.

On Haitus

I probably won't blog much over the next few weeks.

My 90 days is up, so in order to avoid problems with immigration, I have to go back to the states and get my passport stamped.  Plus I'll go camping with my brother and his family at our annual retreat to the Telluride Bluegrass Festival.  Then I'll head to Salt Lake to get all of my stuff out of storage and sell what I can.  From there I'll go to Colorado to spend time with my Mother and celebrate the 4th of July with my nephews!  In Colorado I'll sell my car so I'll be able to buy a car when I get back to Honduras.

I'm excited to spend time with friends and family, but already eager to get back here (although I haven't left yet).  I miss the kids already!

You can expect consistent posts again after I return.

Letter sent to my Mailing List

Yesterday my mind and my heart joined together to allow me to fully comprehend that I am now officially a MISSIONARY IN HONDURAS! It was an incredible experience. Although I have been living and enjoying this lifestyle for several months, it took until now for me to internalize everything. I guess when you make big changes, like becoming a missionary and moving to Honduras, sometimes it can take a while to really sink in.

I see everything in a whole new light. I am overcome with joy and tranquility that God has often shown me recently. I look around and really feel at home. Honduras is not just the place where I am staying, it is the place I where I am. This is hard to describe in words. My heart is full of happiness and God's love. It overwhelmed my mind yesterday. Physically I felt like my heart could burst from all of the joy and peace and love inside.

Stepping forward in faith with the commitment to live here has freed me to experience life in a new way. I am able to open my heart and love more deeply, without fear of having to leave the people I care about so much. I didn't realize how much I had been holding back. Relationships with the people here are growing in ways I never expected. It is absolutely beautiful.

Stepping forward in faith has also freed my mind of worry. It allows room for me to think about other things. I can now to see myself as a part of this community, not just a visitor from the outside.

Thursday I will go back to the states to empty out my storage unit, sell my car and say goodbye to everyone. I am excited to see everyone in the states, but I am also excited to come back here and really LIVE as God wants me to. I have been appreciating and enjoying each day here, but now that I see things in a new light, there is even more room for God to work through me. I am so excited to see His plans unfold!

As far as finances go, many people stepped forward with financial support since my last email. To those who increased your donations, thank you. Thank you to those who donated for the first time. A special thank you to those of you who took your own step of faith by supporting me although we have never met. Thank you to everyone who is supporting me and the people of Honduras in prayer. Thanks to those of you who read my blog as well. MLFHonduras.blogspot.com

I am still about $200 short of the minimum monthly goal. Currently I have definite plans to live in Honduras until at least Christmas. If it is God's will, I will return to live in Honduras after Christmas, but I do need to be fully funded in monthly donations. If you are still considering sponsorship, I need your help! Here's the link:

www.WorldOutreach.org/donations Just click on my name (Fager, Mary Lynn)


I will be in Salt Lake at K2 on July 1st. If you would like to meet between or after services, please contact me. I'd love to say hello!

This journey keeps getting better! Thank you for joining me.

(If you are not on my mailing list and would like to be, just give me your contact info!)

Awesome Weekend!

The past 48 hours have been really amazing!

A group of jovenes (teens) from the city were invited to spend the night in La Tigra and attend a presentation Saturday morning about La Tigra and environmental conservation. I was asked to go along to chaperone the girls and gladly accepted the invitation. La Tigra is one of my favorite places on earth. It is a beautiful rain forest and part of a National Park. We met at the church - me with all of my gringa camping gear and the girls with little bags like what my mother would use to carry library books.

Lolita, Estephany, Kebelin, Fabiola

Although we waited 40 minutes, soon after we left Walter got a phone call that more kids had arrived at the church. We pulled over on the side of the road and they drove to meet us. Then, with six kids in tow, we headed up the mountain. We arrived at the church in La Tigra to find the Honduras-Panama fútbol game projected on the wall like a big screen with huge speakers to give the full effect. About 30 local people were gathered to watch the game.

One of the mothers had made me promise to take care of her daughter as though she were my own, so I felt terrible when she said she felt sick to her stomach. I had no medicine and could only offer to sit outside with her in the fresh air. When it became apparent that Honduras was not going to win, more teens came outside and began to their own game of fútbol. Soon Estephany felt well enough to play. From that point on, she played fútbol unless she was sleeping or eating.

Fabiola and Estephany playing fútbol with two local boys

We were treated like royalty, with tents already set up and mattresses inside. There was also wood stacked in perfect square over square, with pine needles between each layer, for a huge bonfire. Next time I'll know to bring S'mores! Even the stars put on an amazing show for us. The city kids laid down and tried to guess how many stars were in the sky, all of them commenting over and over about how beautiful it is in La Tigra. What an honor, to share that experience with them.

Finally it started getting chilly, so we started the bonfire and warmed up. By that point we were tired and ready for bed. Fabiola forgot her blanket. She was going to share with Estephany and me, but got frustrated when Estaphany told her to keep her ice cold feet to herself. Then she moved into the other tent with Lolita and Kebelin and we could hear them complaining about her cold feet too. After a few minutes of giggling, everyone was sound asleep. The sun rises here before 6 a.m., but we slept until 8. I was very happy about that.

Breakfast was pancakes on the grill outside. The girls swore they could each eat four. I should have known better than to listen to them after watching their skinny teenaged legs running around the night before playing soccer. They are all in that in between stage, where they haven't grown into their long legs yet. Anyway, they barely ate 3 each. I pretended to scold them, but really I knew it was my fault. I shouldn't have made all of that food. So we gave the extras to some local people who were cleaning up the area before the presentation. At least none of it went to waste in the end. For the rest of the day we joked about never wanting to eat another pancake for the rest of our lives.

The girls suggested we go for a hike, and if you know me, you know I was thrilled with that idea. I had told them I was baptized in the river nearby, so they asked if I would show them where I was baptized. What an amazing honor and blessing, to be able to show the young girls where I was baptized! We walked down, or in some cases slid, because none of us had appropriate shoes. It was a beautiful hike. Each time we came to a small clearing they would ask, "Is this it?" and I would say, "No, it is better than this."

Lolita, Kebelin, Estephany and Fabiola on the hike

Kebelin on part of the ropes course

Rainforest

Finally we got to the place where I was baptized. THEY LOVED IT! After taking a look they decided they wanted to go for a swim, so they jumped in.  I felt horrible because I had to make them leave too soon. It was time for the speaker to begin as we started to climb back up the mountain. But they had been enjoying themselves so much I couldn't rob them of that moment.  They were good sports about having to leave so quickly.

Place I was baptized

Fabiola in the waterfall

We got back just in time to take a seat and the presentation began. Walter called me over to ask why the floor was wet under Kebelin's chair. I don't know what he thought, but I explained she had been swimming, so her hair was wet and dripping. Oops!

They listened intently to the speaker. I was so proud of them when they contributed by talking about how we had just been hiking and picked up the garbage we found. (I expected them to complain when I asked them to collect garbage on the way back, but they made a game to see who could collect the most.) They told the speaker that if we work as a team we can help keep La Tigra clean!

Parque Nacional "La Tigra"

After the presentation they begged to go hiking again, but it was time for lunch. Lunch was two hotdogs topped with piles of onion, chiles, relish and other condiments. I knew my belly could only hold one, but everyone else struggled to finish two. Wasting food here is not acceptable. With full bellies we waited for a ride back to the city. We took some more pictures, Estephany played fútbol, and the rest of us rested in the tents.

Lolita, Fabiola, Kebelin with full bellies

Estephany, Kebelin, Lolita, me, Fabiola

After a brief downpour, in which we discovered the tents all leak, we packed everything up and headed back to the city. It was a really great time.

Karla was at the church, waiting for me. We were three hours late getting home, but nobody seemed to notice. This was the start of part two of my awesome weekend.

We washed Karla's car in the rain, then went to pick up Jose from his college. (He even had a class at 9 a.m. on Sunday!)  After picking up Jose they were starving, so we had a big dinner. Karla is known for her cooking, which is funny because her whole family is so thin. I was NOT hungry, but ate anyway, just because the food was good. Then we unplugged a clogged drain with a wet vac - never heard of doing it that way before, but it worked! Afterward, I did two loads of laundry in the washer and dryer. Now my tank tops are no longer stretched out around the bottom, my towel is not scratchy and my blankets don't smell like wet dog. Life is good!

Karla's Kitchen

Living Room at Karla and Jose's house - door on left leads to outside patio

We sat out on the porch and listened to the frogs. We talked about important stuff. I love spending time with Karla and Jose. They treat me like family. And we don't waste time with small talk. Then Karla found a show on tv that has been on since she was a child. She was excited to share it with me and tell me about the ways it has changed over the years. When it was over we watched some more fútbol until I got tired and told everyone good night.

This morning we went to church. Jairo was not there, but it was still a great message. It was about remembering to go to God with everything, not just when you are sad or have problems, but also when you are happy.

I realized as I sat there that I had been dreading this day for a long time. Because I never believed this day would happen the way that it did. In my mind I imagined that on the last Sunday before my flight back to the states I would be horribly sad and heart broken. I thought I would be saying good bye to everyone, maybe for the last time. I pictured this day to be a horrible, painful day. But instead, this is the day that my mind and my heart finally came to terms with the fact that I am going to live in Honduras. It was a process that happened step by step, throughout the day. In church I started crying as I explained to Jose that I had been dreading this day, because I hadn't dared to hope that I would stay here. I didn't want to get my hopes up because I thought it would hurt more when I had to leave. Then I told Karla how this day was so much different from what I had expected. It felt like a celebration. God is allowing me to stay in Honduras!

After church I promised the kids I would be back in a few weeks. I got a special hug from my buddy Christian (Conejo). He has outgrown our days of being side by side, but he still makes sure to grab me in a big hug from behind and make me guess who it is every once in a while. I spun him around and held on to him. I love that boy. He has been struggling lately and I'm not sure why. Don Juan will figure it out. I'm guessing family problems.

After church Leonor (my landlord, and now my friend) and I went to lunch, then hung out at the mall. We looked for a bible for Marlin - one that is especially easy to read. One of the stores ended up ordering it for us. Then we sat down and had coffee to pass time until the gringo church. God was definitely guiding our conversation because she is struggling with something I had direct experience with, so we made a plan to work on that together. I don't think I can really help, but at least I can provide some insight.

Gringo church was nice. She said she really liked it. She knew a lot of people there, because they are all teachers at her daughters' school. At the Gringo church I learned that today is missions Sunday. I didn't even realize that was this week. How appropriate for me to finally feel like a real missionary on missions Sunday!

After church she dropped me off and I walked into my house for the first time since Friday afternoon. It was the best feeling of coming home. I walked in, looked around and had a true sense of being at home, not just at the place where I am staying, but my home. There is a difference.

That was my awesome weekend.

Everything is great, but my blogger is busted

I've been trying to blog for a few days now - lots of fun and exciting things, but my blogging system seems to be messed up.  Probably won't have time to fix it until next week.  Have a busy weekend ahead.  Just know that all is well, the kids are great, Lourdes and Jairo left for the states today.  I have been having a blast and have lots of cool things set up for the weekend.  My rash seems to be going away.  It doesn't itch at all anymore.

More later, when I can figure out how to make this new system work.

I am allergic to Honduras!

After days of driving myself insane with a rash, which spread from my head to my knees, I got to see the doctor today.  Do I need to tell you what happened?  It suddenly improved - to the point that I was glad his daughter had seen it yesterday and I had photos for proof of how bad it was.  Most of me was happy to have it going away, but part of me is afraid it will come back at any moment and I still won't know what caused it.  So I pulled out the photos and showed him the gory details.  At that point he was able to determine that I am allergic to humidity.  Makes sense.  All at the same time the rainy season came and I started running, so my skin has definitely been more moist lately.  I guess my skin must have felt a little overwhelmed and decided to show me it was NOT happy.

Now I realize I have had this rash twice before.  Both times when I was spending more time up in El Hatillo and La Tigra - the rainforest.  At this point I only have one spot that is still itchy so I am very content.  The rest are fading away so quickly it is amazing!  Just since this morning the improvement is remarkable.

My Dr in the states sent me here armed with several different meds.  I've been taking them all.  When I saw the Dr today I laid them all out on the table.  He set three aside and told me not to use them, but showed me the one that had helped and others that were good pain relievers.  He will come back to see me on Thursday to make sure I am fully healed.  I think I will be.  Oh!  It feels so good to go to bed tonight knowing that I'm not sleeping in bed bugs or allergic to my sheets and my clothes!  Just need to stay dry.

Marlin had pancakes all ready when we arrived today.  I was still not feeling very strong (he said the weakness means I have a strong allergic reaction), but finally roday I found something that sounded appealing - yogurt!  So Jairo and I bought a ton of it.  I already ate almost all.

Lorenzo and I have a new special bond.  I'm not sure why.  He has decided that he needs lots of long hugs from me, which is absolutely fine with me.  In fact I love it!  I have a strong feeling he doesn't get hugs outside of the church.  I asked him how old he is today.  He comes up to the top of my leg and he is 8 years old.  Tragic.

Lourdes speaking with Lorenzo

 On the left of Lourdes, Lorenzo - age 8, on the right of Lourdes, Meylin - age 6
See how tiny he is?

Junior also showed up today.  He is two.  Lourdes pointed out how much weight he has lost, just in the time I have known him.  His family is very dysfunctional and can't pull it together enough to get him to the church so he can get some food in his belly.  It is distended and his legs are skinny.  Very sad to see.  But he sure is a high spirited boy.  Seems like he has no idea that he is so young.  He tries to take charge of everything and doesn't let anyone get in his way.  Today he decided it would be fun to throw toys at a much older boy, and then have the boy throw toys at him.  I stopped the marvelous game before anyone was hurt, and then looked outside to see them throwing toys into the rafters, trying to get them to hang there.  Lourdes gave them a stern talking to before we prayed today about throwing toys in the church.

Today was Lourdes' last day at the breakfast program before she leaves for a trip with her family to the states.  I'll have lots of help, with Marlin and Walter and the teen aged girls, so I'm not worried.

Tomorrow, however, Walter, Jairo, and Ethel (the leader of the Elders), are invited to a meeting at the President's house!  It is about how to solve the gang problems.  Jairo seems to be looking forward to it.

Josselyn and I got to hang out for a while as her father was meeting with Walter and Ethel.  She is about to finish another term of college and continues to work hard and enjoy school.  We ordered books from Amazon today.  Amazon doesn't deliver to Honduras, so they are all being sent to a good friend in the states.  Joss is very excited to get her books.  She wasn't expecting to be able to have them and has been trying to figure out a way since the first day I got here when I was reading one of them on my Kindle.  She really wanted her own hard copy since she reads them over and over.  We did some shopping and she was worried about the cost so I told her I would buy her a book as a birthday present, even though her birthday is still months away.  Her family does so much for me, I really wouldn't mind paying for all of the books, but I don't know if her father would appreciate that.

I paid my first bill today!  That was exciting and made me feel like I really live here.  The electric bill gets stuck with masking tape on your front gate and you gave to take this little thing, smaller than a grocery receipt, and pay it at the bank.  Bank lines are always very long, but since there is no postal system here, that is how you receive and pay your bills.

Last night I was thinking about how much I had looked forward to seeing Karla and Jose, but in reality I haven't spent much time with them.  They are so busy with work and college and their kids that I fully understand, but I still wish I could see them more often than a quick hello after church.  Tonight Karla called and invited me to come spend the weekend at their house.  I eagerly accepted the invitation.  Maybe we can go to the mercado and buy fresh fruits, veggies, cheese and meat from local vendors, like we used to when I lived here before.  I love the mercado and have not been able to go at all yet.  It is like a giant farmers market with meat hanging from hooks and fish lying on tables and fruits and veggies you have never seen before.  Heaven!  I remember buying so many veggies we covered a table big enough to seat 8 ppl and we only spent $14 US dollars.  That place is awesome!
I had another new experience today.  I had to pay two months' rent, since I won't be here in the beginning of July, plus a few other bills, so I went to the ATM and had to take out 20,000 Limpiras.  That feels a little scary.  I kept doing the math over and over in my head, worried that I was going to bankrupt my account.  Ended up the machine would only give me 10,000 Limps at a time, but it still felt odd pushing those big numbers into the machine.  Since my landlord is moving I will get her washing machine.   When I get back from the states, I will have a washer!  That is very exciting to me.  She is not getting rid of her dryer, unfortunately.  But the rainy season will end some day.  Then my rash will go away and drying clothes on the line won't be quite so challenging.  In the meantime I do love thunderstorms ~

I am a rock star!

Yesterday was a bad day.  It was the first time I questioned if I really belong here and if I want to stay.  I was up all night, itching and waiting for a phone call that never came.  The Catholic Church across the street was singing until 4 am!  Lourdes said it must have been a vigil of some sort.  I still never tire of listening to them sing.  Every hour I showered and applied more Caladryl.  Nothing is helping with this rash.  It continues to spread.  It itches worst at night.

I finally fell asleep at 6am, then woke at 8:30 long enough to call Lourdes and tell her I am skipping church this week.  They are having a big carne asada dinner after the service to raise money for the mens' conference.  I feel so ugly and disgusting and itchy.  I couldn't deal with putting on a happy face and going out in public.  Ended up sleeping much of the day away.  I was sad and homesick, counting the minutes until the day was over.

Jairo and Lourdes spent the day/evening with Jairo's sister, Rosario.  Lourdes said she sees improvement, but Jairo sees none.  They had me send pictures of my rash to the Dr who was there with her.  I was so shaky, it was hard to take photos, but I sent them and he prescribed a cream.  I did some research on line.  It's an over the counter cream for dry skin.  We confirmed that the Dr will be at the breakfast program tomorrow, so I will let him see it in person and see what he says.

Last night I slept much better but woke to find the rash has now spread downward to my knees!  So basically my calves and feet don't itch.  I knew it would be nice to get out of the house, stop thinking about things that are making me sad, and see the kids.  When we pulled in the driveway about 20 little ones chased after the van to greet us and I immediately felt better.  We have to ask them every day not to get too close to the van, but I must admit it feels good to be greeted with hugs before you even get out of the car.  It's like being a famous rock start every morning!  They even asked why I wasn't at church yesterday - they noticed my absence.  That felt nice.

Aside from the fact that wearing clothes makes my itching worse, I had a really nice day.  Lourdes explained to the kids that she will not be here starting on Wednesday.  She told them that I will be in charge and they need to be respectful to me (which they really are) and they need to control themselves from cursing or hitting each other.  She reminded them they have to leave when they are done, and there will be no tutoring or Doctor visits while she is gone.  She also announced that I will be working with the preschoolers when I get back.  I've always specialized in teens, so I'm going to have to research how to prepare these kids for school.  I already know the kids I'll be working with, and I love them, so it will be fun.

Marlin already had all of the food prepared when we got there, so we went straight into prayer time.  Today there were about 55 kids.  There were a lot of times I wished I had my camera in hand.  The kids were really cute.  Bigger kids helped the little ones.  They played well together and cheered each other on.  I tried to help Marlin as much as I could, but it was difficult.  I am weak today.  It was hot in the kitchen and the heat was overwhelming.  I kept thinking what a wimp I am.  Marlin is fighting a cold and she worked hard without complaint.  I kept stepping outside for a breath of fresh air.  At the end of the day, she was scrubbing out dish towels so I went over and watched.  I admitted that I am not good at scrubbing in the pila yet.  She took the time to show me how to hold the towel, what part of my hand to use for scrubbing, and how to know when it is really clean.  We stood at the pila, side by side, and scrubbed all of the towels.  I liked that.  It will take a while for me to be as efficient as Marlin is.  She gave me a big hug at the end of the day.  Lots of times Marlin and I communicate without words.  She is a special friend.

When I got home, I showered again, lathered myself in Caladryl and took a nap.  I haven't been taking Benedryl since last night, but I am still tired!  This stupid rash is kicking my butt.  I am trying hard not to complain about it, but I am not successful.  I see so many others around me facing things much more difficult than a rash without complaint.  I have room to grow in this area.

No scabies or bed bugs

Well, the Dr never came and my rash is getting worse.  It started on the underside of my left forearm, then went to my right shoulder.  (I had the same thing on my right shoulder when I first got here, but it went away.)  Now it is all over my neck and chest and spreading onto my stomach and left arm.  It is as ugly as it is itchy - and it is VERY itchy.  Good news is that somehow my face is mostly healed from it.  Now if the rest of my body would catch up.  I'm taking everything I can think of.  Lots of Benedryl, started Cipro this morning in case it's bacterial, and various topical things like Caladryl and hydrocortizone.  The hydrocortizone seems to do nothing.

At first we thought it was bed bugs.  From the rash, it looks like it could be bed bugs.  I've spent hours doing research on line.  But there is not a bug in sight.  I cleaned everything and sprayed everything and I'm still getting more spots.  FRUSTRATING!

Finally got myself out of the Benedryl stupor this morning long enough to walk up to the farmacia.  I noticed it was closed yesterday.  Today the people at the pulperia told me the farmacia is permanently closed.  Luckily my favorite taxista was right there, so he drove me to the nearest pharmacy, which happens to be inside the grocery store.  I got more Benedryl and Caladryl, then picked up a few things to eat.  I've been scared to eat because I don't know what is causing this, but standing in line at the pharmacy I realized I was weak and shaky, so I got a huge baguette.

I also got some Febreeze since my towel, which I washed a week ago, is still not dry.  I've had to wash it at least 3 more times because it starts to smell musty before I can get it to dry.  The Febreeze worked great on a comforter that Lourdes let me borrow.  She felt terrible because it smells musty, but I told her I'd rather have a musty smell than sleep in blankets that could have bugs in them.  My cousin, Carolyn, has been really helpful.  We've been chatting on Facebook about how to deal with stuff like hand washing laundry and how to get rid of a rash.  She is full of good advice.  She went through a terrible time when she first got to Guatemala, where she serves in the Peace Corp.  Her house and bed were infested with fleas.  Between Carolyn and her friends, they've experienced every skin disease known to man, it seems.  Another friend who was also in the Peace Corp suggested using Head and Shoulders shampoo as a body wash.  Got some at the store today and it seems to work.  Thanks Julia!

I also got Raid plug ins.  I am wondering if I am allergic to bug bites.  Or maybe laundry detergent, but that is doubtful because the worst parts of the rash don't have contact with my clothes (neck, forearms).  Not sure what is causing this rash, but I it is NOT a pleasant experience.

Thursday night Jairo was asked to speak to a group of journalists about trauma.  Since Alfredo Villatoro was kidnapped on his way to work at the radio station, then killed, many journalists worry that they could be next.  The journalists were grateful to Jairo for coming and sharing his knowledge with them.  (Jairo is not only a pastor, he is also a psychologist.)  He said it was a very intense and special meeting.  Many cried.  He was happy that he could offer help.  On Friday he already had four sessions with individual journalists who asked for therapy.  There were more who still want to be seen.  They tried to pay him, but Jairo said that he is doing this for his country.  He said journalists play a big role in keeping the country safe by keeping people informed and he wanted to show the journalists his appreciation.  He was really psyched to be able to serve the journalists and was thrilled with the way they received him.  You wouldn't think that being a journalist could put your life in jeopardy, but in a country so corrupt they have every reason to be fearful. 

So far there are six people implicated in the murder of Alfredo Villatoro. There are more involved who have not been named yet.  One of the places where Alfredo Villatoro was held hostage was found this week.  The case is still unraveling.  I am happy they have made this much progress.  In Honduras, 90% of all murder cases go unsolved according to CNN.

Friday was pupusas day at the breakfast program.  Yummy!  We had to cook an extra batch because so many kids showed up.  We've been talking all week about the fact that we can't remember the last time we bathed Lorenzo and he does not shower at home.  Therefore, when I heard screaming and wailing outside I was not surprised to see poor little Lorenzo, naked as a jaybird, with Don Jaun holding him in place and scrubbing him down.  Lourdes went over and calmed Lorenzo down.

Lorenzo

I have never seen a kid who hates bathing so much.  I would love to know why he feels so strongly about washing.  He seems so scared.  Don Juan is as gentle as he can be, and they stay in an open space - they don't go into the bathroom.  I keep wondering if Lorenzo has suffered trauma in the past with water, or while bathing.  He goes crazy when we ask him to clean himself.  I am sure Don Juan never expected that bathing little boys would be part of his job description when he started doing maintenance and security at the church.  Don Juan loves the kids as much as any of us do.  He watches over them carefully and can tell you a lot about each of them, like who needs new clothes, who doesn't eat at home, who has a violent family life.  We are blessed to have Don Juan at the church.

After the bathing was over, I grabbed a towel and wrapped Lorenzo up in it.  The towel wasn't very big but it covered his whole body, head to toe.  He is so malnourished he is about the size of a four year old and I think he's about 9.  I hugged him in the towel until Lourdes came over and dried him all off like only a mother can.  When she saw the condition of Lorenzo's tee shirt for school she told him that she will send money with one of the older girls to buy a new shirt for him.

Watching Don Juan gently bathe that terrified little boy is an experience I will never forget.  Add that to my "seriously disturbed" list.

Friday morning we also got news that Jairo's sister, Rosario, has organ failure.  She has been fighting cancer.  She told her family that she wants to die at home.  Lourdes was worried about how Rosario would respond when her husband told her yesterday that it is time to leave the hospital and go home.  I guess it went ok.  She is home now.  Lourdes went to pray with Rosario last night.  I think Lourdes and Jairo are with her today.  I am glad I got to meet Rosario on Mother's Day.  She was certainly not well that day, but she was sitting up in bed and talked to us for a long time.  Today Lourdes said she can't eat or drink water, but she was able to urinate a little bit, which is good.  We are still praying boldly for a miracle, but we realize how sick she really is.

I have noticed a big change over the past week in my own prayer life.  I noticed I pray more throughout the day and I have been really conscious about praying for people who ask me to pray for them.  One friend at home was waiting for test results.  I prayed for that person in every way I knew how.  Another friend in NY has something going on with her family and I have been praying for her non-stop too.  I think I've been doing a better job of being consistent and thorough in prayer.  Seems like it is working too.  The friend who was waiting for test results got word three days early that things are okay.

I'm working on logistical stuff for when I am in the states, like where my cat and I will stay.  I haven't been thinking as much about what I am going to sell and whether I can find a cheap enough storage unit to keep my sofa and bed.  I hope it will all fall into place when I get there.

This week I did a lot of writing for Lourdes and Jairo.  They are very grateful that they can either dictate, or give me notes and I translate everything to English.  They get a lot more done this way.  We are working on scholarships for the boys in the private Christian School.  I am also now the person most people from the states contact if they need to get a message to Lourdes and sometimes Jairo too.

Lourdes had a little bit more pain this week than last.  She has not been exercising, but she has been resting well.  Friday she did not feel good at all.

On the other hand I cannot put into words how excited the whole family feels about their trip to Salt Lake.  They are, as my mother would say, thrilled to death.  Wow, that is a stupid saying.  Why would anyone want to be thrilled to death?  Anyway, they are thrilled.  They can't wait to see their K2 family and spend a lot of quality time with people.  I love seeing them excited about things.  It is great that they can get away as a family because around here they struggle to have family time together.

I am actually looking forward to going home.  The first week I will spend with my brother and his family, camping at the bluegrass festival in Telluride.  Then I'll head up to Salt lake to do whatever I am going to do with all of my stuff in storage.  I'll head back to Colorado to see my mom and spend time with my family for the fourth of July.  This will be the first time I've ever left Honduras without a broken heart.  Usually I am so sad to leave this place behind, but this time I know I'll be coming back!

A good friend told me I need to be more descriptive when I talk about food.  She's awfully smart, so I bet if she didn't understand there were others who didn't understand either.  If you have any questions, please feel free ask.  If you have any advice about rashes or how to get rid of everything you own, I'll take that too.

Thank you so much for reading my blog.  I received a notice yesterday about my funding and saw that on the list of people who are supporting me financially, there are four people I have never met before!  To me, that is amazing.  One of my goals in coming to Honduras was to help make people in the US aware of what is going on here.  I think that is actually happening!

Speaking of funding, I am very close to being funded at the minimum amount that I need to get by here.  Once all the monthly donations are totaled, I should be about $200 short of my minimum goal.  I have to sit down and write thank you emails when I am not so drugged up on Benedryl.  It is hard to put into words how much I appreciate your help.  In reality, I see it as you all investing in the future of these kids, and trusting me to help you do that.  I love that you care about the kids so much.  Thank you for every penny you have donated and every prayer you have sent up to God.  Thank you for each time you have talked to someone about what is going on in Honduras.

I wish I could tell you more about that, but I have to be wise and stay safe here.  I have noticed an increase in the amount of military people standing in groups on the sidewalks, as well as driving in trucks.  This morning a truck full of men with guns pulled past my neighborhood.  They were dressed in camouflage and the back of their truck said "PATROL".  Some stand in the back of the truck and look ahead, others face behind.  They seem to be more alert and ready for something.  The private guards at my gate have stepped up security to a new level too.  Today I saw them call to a man who had walked past them on the sidewalk.  He pointed to the house he was going to visit, but they still asked him to walk back and leave his ID with them.  I've never seen them stop anyone on foot before, just cars.  He seemed a little annoyed but I am happy that people can't walk through my neighborhood without permission.  Last Sunday they wouldn't let Jairo in.  I had to go meet him on the corner.  Both of us were okay with that.

The beautiful sunshine has gone away, and thunder is rumbling.  Time for some rain.  Everything is dry except my towel, so I'm all set.

If you are a praying type of person, please pray for the Sarmiento family.  If you'd like you could pray that this stupid rash goes away!  At least I've ruled out scabies and bedbugs.

Letting Go

It's 3:30 a.m.  I haven't been writing because I've had a lot to think about.  Some of it was things I really didn't want to think about, so I was avoiding writing.

I bought a ticket to return to Honduras to live.  When Lourdes told the kids they clapped and cheered.  It was really cool.  I didn't expect them to be so excited.  Everyone from the states keeps asking how long I will be here.  The truth is that I have no idea.  The ticket I bought has a return date of December 20th, so I will go back to the US for Christmas.  I imagine I will come back to Honduras after Christmas, but only God knows for sure.

Part of me feels really excited and so blessed.  Some of me feels anxious.  I don't like to share this sort of things on my blog, but right now I am having trouble letting go - of things, of people, of relationships, of my car, of washing machines and dryers and of medical care that I trust.  Those are the main things.  Oh, and my sofa.  I didn't think it would be this hard.  I've never thought of myself as a materialistic person.  Maybe it's because of so many changes all at once.  Sometimes my mind can't grasp it.  Sometimes my mind can grasp it and it feels overwhelming.  When I get overwhelmed I feel guilty that I am not being appreciative of this amazing opportunity.  I've been praying about it.  Need to get my brain and my heart on the same page.

I remind myself how many people wish they could do what I'm doing.  (Yes, Mom, there are others out there.)  I remind myself how long and hard I worked to be at this point.  I am exactly where I've wanted to be for three years! Usually when I think about those things I feel very blessed.  Except right now, at 3:30 in the morning, when I can't sleep because I keep having dreams about things I don't want to dream about, my face in covered in bug bites and I have rashes on my arms.

I keep getting this strange rash.  It itches so much that it wakes me up at night.  I've tried hydrocortizone.  I've even tried Preparation H.  Anything to stop the itching.  It seems to always happen on the underside of my forearm or the right side of where my neck meets my shoulder.  I'm going to ask the doctor about it when he comes tomorrow.  Everyone here has different opinions ranging from mosquito bites to allergies.

Everything is set now for Lourdes and Jairo to visit SLC.  The whole family is taking a vacation together.  They are so excited, they can hardly think about anything else.  I love seeing them so excited.  It will be great for them to get away from their busy lives and spend time together as a family.  It will also be good for them to be on someone else's turf, where they are not the "go to" people for every problem that comes up.  They really need this vacation.

Misael was sick again today.  Most of the kids have a horrible cough - another reason I wish I were sleeping right now.  Need to keep my body strong against all of those germy kids.  Misael was coughing so hard he was vomiting for about a half an hour.  Once his cough calmed down a little, his mom took him home.  Tomorrow the Dr will be coming, so she might bring him in for that.  Or she might take him to the hospital.  Poor little guy.  We all thought he was getting better.

Lots of good things have been going on.  I've been busy with things other than dreams and rashes.  I'll write about those tomorrow.  Now it's time for some prayer and (hopefully dreamless) sleep.

Good night.

office work

I spent most of the day in Jairo's office, figuring out how to get my cat down here and purchasing the ticket to return here TO LIVE!  It has been interesting to see how the kids interact with me differently, now that I am going to return to be with them on a more permanent basis.  They are surprised and grateful that I want to be here.  Seems like they are opening themselves up to me even more now.

We also arranged for Jairo and his family to visit Salt Lake.  They are really excited.  Lourdes said if I weren't here they wouldn't have been able to make that work, so I am happy I was able to help.

Making cards for Paula

Emil, proud of his work

Girls enjoying themselves

Little ones drawing pictures for Paula

Big boys hard at work





Too many kids to fit in one camera shot
(76 today!)



Nobody knows his name.  He will only tell us "Gordo"



Misael, getting help from Mom, Marlin




Misael's finished product!



Kevelin and Stephanie enjoying the time to draw and relax



We finished our pictures.  Now time for breakfast!



Sending our best to Paula!

I LOST MY EYELASHES!

Today was an awesome day.  When I think about what made it so awesome I think it probably wouldn't be awesome to anyone else.  It was one of my favorite days for all of the simple reasons that I love Honduras.  Now, as I write, I have a perfect, peaceful backdrop of the sound of rain on the palms outside my window to end my perfect day.

In reality, it was a day of highs and lows.  The lows were pretty bad.  I started out by trying to use an eyelash curler while my hands were still moist with lotion.  DO NOT EVER TRY THIS AT HOME, or anywhere for that matter.  Because of the lotion my hand slipped on the eyelash curler and ripped out half of the eyelashes from my left eye.  It looks really funny.  Half of my eyelid is bald!  Of course it was the outside half, where my eyelashes are longest.  I felt so stupid.  I am considering getting fake eyelashes when I go back to the states.  Can you wear fake eyelashes on a bald eye?

My other low of the day was when I finally broke down and washed one of my towels for the first time.  I'll do the math for you.  I have been here two months as of today.  This is the first time I attempted to wash a bath towel.  Maybe that gives you an idea of how difficult I expected it to be.  It was more difficult than I expected, even when I did it the cheaters way!  I soaked it in my sink in powder detergent.  Then I took it outside to rinse it.  The soap would not come out.  On top of that my neighbors were doing yard work 5 feet away, so I was imagining them watching me and thinking that I was an idiot who can't even wash a towel.  I finally admitted to them that I cheat on the rinsing method - it was good to get that off my chest.  You are never supposed to get soap inside the basin of the pila, because it is supposed to always be clean.  Usually the basin holds fresh water from the rain.  Mine is empty because we have running water.  I'm the only one who uses it, so I figure if I get soap suds in there (which you are never supposed to do) that is my own choice.  You are supposed to scrub the clothes along the washboard part and pour clean water over top, but I turn on the faucet and rinse the clothes into the basin.  Yes, I am a lazy gringa.  I rinsed the towel as best I could using the pila to scrub out the suds and also using my cheating method.  There is still soap in it.  Then I hung it to dry.  This story is to be continued because the real tragedy happens later in the day...

Church was great.  First I was sitting with Aaron and Lourdes.  Misael and Meylin came in a little later and crawled over people to give me a hug.  I moved over and sat with their mother, Marlin, when they left for the childrens' classes.  She had a bible that she is borrowing from Lourdes.  The cover is torn off and the pages are all curled, but I could tell in the way she held it and tried to straighten all of the pages that she loves it.  I already have a plan to buy her a new bible.  It will be a special one for her because she only has a second grade education.  Lourdes suggested a bible for adults that is easier to read.  I'll get it in time to give it to her before I leave for the states in June.

After church I thanked Meylin for her prayers for my funding.  I told her that I am very close to being fully funded and I can now make plans to live here.  (She is the little girl who prays really strongly for me every night.)  She broke into tears!  I didn't expect that, so I looked at her mother for help.  Her mother bent down and told Meylin that I was saying thank you, but Meylin knew what I had said.  She was crying out of happiness and gratitude :)  I hugged her and held her for a long time while she sobbed in my arms.  I whispered in her ear that we have a powerful God who listens to her prayers.  Then we took this picture.  In the picture she is still not quite back to her normal smiley face yet, but at least you can finally see these people I talk about so often.

Misael, Me, Meylin, Marlin
I LOVE these people!

As people were hanging out and talking after church I heard Eric Seaman, my landlord's husband, playing "Blackbird" on his guitar.  His daughter was standing next to him singing along.  I was drawn to them and next thing I knew I was standing on the stage with them.  Eric said "Blackbird" is a really fun song to play on the guitar.  He played it again and we sang along.  He played a few more beatles songs.  He sang harmony.  It was fun.  Then we talked about music.  He told me how he learned to play music.  We discovered we both have a passion for the violin.  He wants me to join the church's band, but I haven't played any instruments in so long the only thing I might be able to do is sing.  He and his family are moving to Guatemala in a few weeks.  When they go it will be a big loss to the church in many ways.

Jairo invited me to go for lunch with the Seamans.  There were 15 of us!  We went to a Chinese restaurant.  A man with a big gun strapped around his shoulder stands outside the door.  He opens your car door and greets you, then opens the restaurant door, and returns to his post outside.  I suppose this place does enough business that they have a lot of money at the end of the day.  It is very small, but it was busy and had great food.  Chinese food is very popular here.  If you aren't eating Honduran food, you eat Chinese.

While we were eating dinner the series I saw in the US a few months ago came on the tv in the restaurant.  Jairo pointed it out.  I told him I had seen it before and that the title of the CNN presentation was "Honduras:  The Deadliest Region on Earth".  Eric and Jairo were both surprised to hear that.  They could see, but not hear the show, so I told them it is on line.  They both asked me to send them a link.  It was strange to be sitting there, with them, watching that show.  Eric asked how my family feels about me living here.  I told him it is really, really hard for my mother.  He said he couldn't imagine how she must feel.

It was a beautiful, sunny day.  I joked with Jairo that it was sunny because I didn't have any clothes on the line.  He said it was probably raining in my Colonia and pointed out clouds over the part of the city where I live.  We laughed.  It seems to only rain in my Colonia a LOT.

When I got home I did some laundry and immediately the clouds rolled in.  Oh well.  I am over worrying about rain on my clothes.  They will dry some day.  That was when I washed my towel as well.  (The towel may never dry.  I need a thinner towel.)  My neighbors were doing yard work as I washed the clothes.  And the towel.  Afterward, I went out for a run before the rain came.

When I returned they were still doing yard work.  I wanted to help, but I was intimidated.  I don't know how to do yard work Honduran style, with machetes, and I didn't want to look stupid.  But I also didn't want to look lazy.  Fani cut back all of the trees and plants.  She even dug a dead tree out of the ground and asked which plant I thought should go there.  Her husband Santos was cutting grass.  Then I turned around and he had climbed up the mango tree.  He tossed down ripe mangoes to me.  Standing below that tree, catching ripe mangoes was so cool!  They said last year there was a MONTON (a lot) of mangoes, but this year due to the unusually heavy rains, the mangoes fell off the tree before they were mature.  Our avocados are starting to ripen and lemons too.  I ate a mango tonight Honduran style - peeled it and sucked it all off the seed.  It was so good!

In continuation from the story of my towel, Santos called over as I was bagging up grass and tree branches and told me we have a problem.  I looked over to see my clean towel was covered in pieces of grass.  He felt terrible and said he would wash it, then Fani offered to wash it.  I assured them it was no problem (yeah right!), I would wash it.  We finished all of the yard work together.  Santos took a look at the leaks in my roof while he was up there getting mangoes.  He also checked out the leaks in my sinks.  I was a little embarrassed because my house wasn't as clean as I wished for their first visit.  I had taken laundry off the line this morning before church and didn't have time to put it away.  As we passed through the bedroom I tried to cover the undergarments, which seemed to be everywhere.  Oops!

Fani showed me a grill she is very proud of.  She said we can cook meat on it sometime.  We talked about our families.  It was fun to spend time with them.  Their baby daughter is starting to recognize me and be a lot more comfortable with me.  She reaches for me to hold her, which she never did before.  She is just getting her first tooth.  Fani and Santos both clearly LOVE being parents.  They are close to my age.

I will not be writing any more about the political problems.  I learned today that things are worse than we knew and it is not safe to speak about it at all.  I hope it all comes to a head after I get back to the US, but Jairo is having meetings with people specifically about how to keep me safe.  I know I can also turn to Santos and Fani anytime.  Jairo's brother only lives two blocks away.  Jairo is going to get me internet connection that won't need electricity before he leaves.  I'll be fine.


Time to make dinner and end this perfect day.  Back to the kids at the breakfast program tomorrow!  It feels so different to know now that I will not be leaving them forever.  My whole mindframe has changed over the past couple of days.  Even though I am not completely funded, I am stepping forward in faith.  Tomorrow I will buy a ticket to come back to Honduras after I get rid of the stuff in the storage unit and spend time with my family.  I believe that God wants me here and will provide everything I need.  Besides, I have Meylin's powerful prayers backing me up!  Life is good in Honduras.

I bought a plunger

Gosh, how did this day go by so fast? I did some cleaning.  Chatted with my mom on the computer and waited for the water man to come by.  I missed him on his first round, but caught him on his second. Checked with Fani to learn that we are not getting a washing machine in the near future so washed about 1/3 of my dirty clothes, and went grocery shopping. I called my favorite taxista, Jose. He said he would take me anytime, so we decided I would meet him in an hour. I asked him to wait for me at the store because I am not supposed to ride with strangers, so he did. I tried to hurry, but I still took a whole half hour.  I got lots of fruit and veggies as well as some cleaning supplies. Cereal here is as expensive as it is back in the states. I finally found a box for less than $5. Bought candles in case we end up without lights. Then went to pay for everything and I couldn't understand a word the woman was saying to me. I haven't ever had this problem to this extreme. I felt so stupid. The lady who was bagging my groceries was laughing an embarrassed laugh and the woman behind me had a look of pity.

I figured out on the way home parts of what she had said.  She was asking if she should start ringing me up.  (Well yes, please.  I am not just standing here with my money in my hand for nothing.)  I still don't have a clue what she said at the end.   Fani said she was probably asking me to donate to an education fund, but I think I would have understood the word education.  Who knows.  Just when I was feeling more confident about my Spanish...

My taxista took me home and helped unload the groceries.  He saw I had celery, which I've been craving for a while and told me to make sure to use the leaves to cook with because that is the best part.  Then after 45 minutes of his time, he charged me the equivalent of five dollars.  He is so nice.  I told my neighbor Fani she should use him too.  But she uses my other favorite guy, Alfonzo.  He has a renegade cab, with no number on it, but everyone knows him.  He says because he doesn't have to pay all of the cab fees he can charge less, but really my good buddy Jose charges even less than Alfonzo.  Alfonzo is just a good sales man.  He should work at a car dealership or something.

Had to get some minutes for my phone and today is triple so I walked down to the pulperia.  There were fresh tortillas there, still in the bowl from the lady who made them so I bought some real tortillas instead of the plastic wrapped store ones like we get in the states.  I saw a new kind of conservas, my favorite candy, so I got two of those, then asked to use the rest of my money for minutes on my phone.  He looked at me blankly, like he did once before when they were out of minutes, so I asked if they were out of minutes.  He said yes.  I said no more at all, because they come in all kinds of increments.  He said none.  So I walked down the street to the other pulperia.

I prefer not to use the second one because usually there are a bunch of men hanging out on the corner.  They have never hassled me, but I still would rather avoid them.  Today there was nobody.  The other reason I don't like getting minutes from this pulperia is that you don't really buy the minutes at the pulperia, you buy the minutes throught the gated door of the man who lives in the same building.  So you have to stand and look into their living room while you ask for the minutes.  To me, it's a little odd.  Anyway, I got my minutes and gobbled down one of the conservas.  It was similar to maple sugar candy, but not mapley.  I decided I would like more, and if I waited until tomorrow they wouldn't be as fresh as if I bought them now and kept them wrapped  up tight, right?  So I went back to the first pulperia, picked out an avocado because I couldn't let him know I came back just for more candy, and got two more conservas.  At that moment I promised myself I would run today.  And tomorrow.

Last night the neighbors on both sides had parties. One side played awesome music and sang. I bet they were probably dancing too. The other side was quiet earlier, but got loud around 11pm and woke me up at 4 am screaming ugly things. I closed my windows and went back to sleep.  At least this is not a regular occurance.

It was supposed to rain, but so far it's sunny. I'm going out for a quick run before it gets dark, then a big dinner and maybe some movies tonight. Walter didn't lead the jovenes this week, so I didn't get to help with them. But this week as I write I feel much more hopeful and at peace with the idea that I will be living here for a long time and will have plenty of time to work with those kids.  Yesterday I started thinking of things as more long term.  Bought some more cups for the house, instead of living with the bare minimum.  I even bought myself a plunger today. Now THAT is a sign of commitment - when you invest in a plunger for your house.