My Birthday - 2013

My birthday was everything a birthday should be and more.  I felt special and blessed and very, very loved.  We celebrated for 4 days!  Here are some highlights:

The coach from the swim team completely surprised me with a cake and Pepsi at 9 a.m.  He said that he sees how much the kids love me and think of me as a mother, so he wanted to give them the opportunity to celebrate with me.

They threw me in the pool

A hug from the most awesome coach ever

My cake!

Note the carmel fish in the corner  :)  AND it was one layer of chocolate!

Covered in frosting

Thanks girls!

My friend Ana and her baby, Isabela were there

Coach Fracisco Sanchez and me

 When we got back to the church Eunice and Walter had planned a second party for me!  So we had a second cake after the Breakfast Program was finished with the boys from El Sembrador, the ladies who work in the kitchen and their families, and everyone who works at the church.

My second cake!

Singing "Feliz Feliz Cumpleaños"

Walter said a nice prayer

Eunice praying over me.
Samuel looks so cute!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Ashley enjoying cake

Saturday we had a Thanksgiving dinner at my Carlos' brother's house. I cooked the turkey and all of the traditional side dishes.  I was surprised when Marcela came in with a birthday cake for me.  It was BLUEBERRY and very, very delicious!  We popped some sparking wine and celebrated my birthday, then moved on to Thanksgiving dinner.  It was a really fun time.

Carlos popping the cork

The birthday toast

Me with the ladies - Miljian and Hermida

Miljian hosted the party at her house 

Carlos' brother and sister-in-law 

Blowing out the candles of my blueberry cake

Sunday was election day.  It went smoothly and peacefully.  Nobody has officially been declared president yet because they are waiting for 10% of the votes still from voters in the US.  But the party who is currently in charge has the most votes and will win.  People are saying the vote was fraudulent.  I watched it on TV.  Everything I saw seemed very open and forthright.  But of course there could be things going on behind the scenes.  Personally, I think it's a case of sore losers.

There have been small protests, but nothing at the scale I saw in 2009.  Things could escalate when everything becomes official.  For now everything feels normal.

People are still wishing me a happy birthday and it feels really great to be able to say that I had a really special day.  It was definitely one of my very best so far.  Not just because of the cakes.  I truly felt special and honored.  I kept thinking, "This is how everyone should feel on their birthday!"  I'm grateful so many people care about me and take the time to say or do something to make me feel special on my birthday.  Thanks guys!

Swimming and Marisol

Sorry for the time between posts.  I miss writing each night.  Right now I can't afford a modem for my house.  Gym membership or modem?  I chose gym.  I've been running every day.  Tomorrow I will go to my first pilates class.  So far none have fit my schedule.  I am excited for tomorrow!

Today I am posting from the church.  Everyone else went to a funeral for the father of a church member, so it is quiet here.  I stayed in town and couldn't go to the funeral because I needed to go to the sports program with the kids.

They are learning at an incredible rate!  It is so interesting to watch them learn and to see them feel good about themselves.  By the end of the morning I am ready to change my name because of course, ALL of them want to show me what they can do.  They all yell my name and ask me to watch them.  My head is spinning in all directions.  I am so proud of them!!!  And better yet, they are proud of themselves.

It is really interesting to see how desperately they want to be there.  Sometimes it is really cold.  They have blue lips and their teeth are chattering after the first 15 minutes.  But they don't quit!  (Well, most of them don't.)  Sometimes what they are doing is really challenging.  The coach doesn't baby them.  But they don't give up!  Sometimes they are not used to discipline.  They are not accustomed to asking permission to go to the bathroom, or to wait their turn to climb up the ladder.  But they are learning quickly.  They actually seem to love the discipline.  I think they see it as a way we show them that we care about them.

The kids who struggle most with behavioral problems are trying SO HARD!  I thought a few might have a really tough time behaviorally.  They are so well behaved I didn't know it was possible.  Cristofer is thriving!   He went from being a tough street kid to a snuggly boy over the past five days classes.  About six months ago he told me that he prays every night that he will be good in school the next day, but he never is.  I told him to keep praying.  God will listen.

Last week on the bus ride back from the pool to the church I asked Cristofer if he has an easier time at school.  He smiled and nodded.  I said I see great improvement in his behavior.  I told him I remembered his prayer.  Now we can see that God answered him!  At the end of the week I called him to stand in front of the whole Breakfast Program and congratulated him for his accomplishments in swimming and his excellent behavior at the pool.  He was very happy.  This morning he came over to me shivering and wrapped himself around me.  (He must have forgotten his blanket from last week.)  I gave him a big hug and we stood that way until he warmed up.  That was one of the best hugs I have had in a long time.

Another boy is really hyper.  He understands that he has to follow directions in order to be part of the program.  I can see it is sooooo tough!  But he is trying hard to be on his best behavior.

Here are some photos from today:

Seryi and Ingris are excellent swimmers!

Check out the beautiful background

The younger group swimming laps

Relaxing after a long lesson

Today when I got back to the church I met Marisol.  During the preschool class she was quiet,  She didn't participate when we played Duck Duck Goose (or here, Pato, Pato, Ganzo).  I chalked it up to being her first day, and the fact that she is still very young.

When we sat down to eat she spilled a little so I held the bowl up to her chin and she started to just shovel the food into her mouth as fast as she could.  I have never seen anything like that.  It had to hurt her stomach.  I took the bowl away and asked her to drink some tea.  (It still drives me NUTS that we serve these kids tea, but it is the only affordable option I am told.)

She went back to eating really fast.  I told her there is more food if she would like it, but let's eat slowly.  I took the bowl and spoon fed her.  I was afraid at the speed she was going she would vomit!  Marisol ate 2 plates of food with two cups of tea.  It seemed like she could have eaten more, but I didn't want her to get sick.

Notice the distended belly.  And her eyes.

I asked around and found out she had an older brother with her.  He has come a few times before.  So I talked to him for a while, welcoming him to the program and telling him I hope he will come every day with his sister.  I told him that she seemed very hungry.  He said they don't have food at home.  At that point I decided he should talk to Belinda.

We all sat down privately.  Actually it was perfect because instead of being at her desk in the office, she was in the baby daycare room so they sat on a swing while she fed a bottle to Marlin's baby.  The boy said he is seven years old.  There is a one year old baby at home.  He said they are cared for by their Grandmother.  An uncle also lives with them.  They will not be coming back after today, he said, because the uncle is taking him to work in the mountains cutting coffee.  Belinda and I looked at each other in silent horror.  He was pretty excited.  I asked if he had cut coffee before.  He said no.   Belinda asked if he would be paid.  He didn't expect to be paid.

We encouraged him to come back to the church tomorrow and to bring his sisters.  But as he walked out the door I noticed he had on brand new rubber boots - just like all of the men who work in the fields.  My heart dropped another notch.

Marisol

At 2 years old, Marisol already knows how to wash dishes

My ducks

Let me quickly summarize the past week.  Friday was kind of a crappy day for me.  I was discouraged but also grateful to have a new stove.  Saturday was busy.  I had choir practice, then went to the gym.  I did a lot of praying and reading the bible that night about the situation that was causing my frustration.

Sunday people had plans to help me resolve the situation, but for some reason, it didn't feel right.  I explained that I was in prayer and that it felt like bad timing so they said fine.

That day was the first time that I really did not feel like being alone.  Normally I spend so much time alone that people who don't know me well get a little worried.  Wanting to socialize was a new feeling, but I knew it was also a healthy one at that moment.  So I called my neighbors/landlords and asked if I could use the internet from their house.  They said sure.  I confessed to Hermida that I was feeling like I wanted to be around people so she invited me to eat with them.

They had family visit and we spent the whole afternoon and evening together.  In the end we went to my house.  Hermida and I had tea while Carlos hooked up my new stove.  It was a really nice day.  There are a lot of great people in my life in Honduras, and God really blessed me with my living situation.  When my landlords tell me they want me to feel at home in their house, they really mean it.  I know I can always count on them.

Monday much of what has been bothering me resolved itself in a way I never imagined.  I didn't have to do or say anything.  God worked it out perfectly!  Yay!!

This week has been great!  Sunday at church Samuel asked me to help out with the sports part of the Plentiful Life Program.  So you understand, the Breakfast Program is one part of the Plentiful Life Program.  Samuel already had a group of 15 boys playing soccer as the sports division of the Plentiful Life Program.  Starting this week the kids have 3 months off from school so Samuel arranged for other kids to do more sports.  So now I am serving in the sports division too.  I absolutely love it!

I told Samuel a few months ago that I taught swimming for a long time, so he asked me to help out with the swimming classes.  But then it seemed like he didn't really need me anymore.  I was disappointed.  I had been really, really excited for this opportunity.  I saw it as God's plan for me.  I started teaching kids to swim when I was 13.  When I was 16 I officially became a lifeguard and taught swimming lessons every day all summer at a lake near my home.  Swimming has always been a big part of my life.  I am not the world's best preschool teacher, but I do know how to teach kids to swim.  To me, it felt like there was finally an opportunity for me to share/serve in a way which I am very competent.  Now it has all come to fruition.

The only hitch is that I have to get up very, very early every morning to be at the church at 7:15 a.m.  I hate getting up early.  But so far I have been so excited I barely sleep, so waking up has not been a problem.  Everyone says I look exhausted, but I feel great.

More importantly, the kids are having a blast!  There are 2 coaches who are really in charge once we get to the pool.  One of them is the most amazing teacher I have ever seen.  When the kids first arrived most were afraid to get into the pool.  Imagine...  They come from homes with no running water.  They are accustomed to bathing with a pail of water.  Submersion is a new experience for them.  They have every reason to be scared.  But within an hour and half this coach taught a group of about 10 kids to swim and even to dive!    He is really incredible.

The first day he said they would be swimming all four strokes by January.  I thought he was exaggerating at the time.  Now I am sure he is not.  He is a super good motivator and he makes everything really fun.  He learns all of their names and makes up sweet nicknames for some.  He runs a very tight ship, but keeps things positive too.  I really admire his approach, style, demeanor and knowledge.  I am grateful he is the teacher of the kids I love.

The kids and their coach!

Stretching.
The first day the kids had noodles wrapped below their chest and tied back with a strip of rubber from a tire.  What a great way for them to float with lots of room to move around!

It's chilly at 8 a.m. this time of year in Honduras.
Cristofer modeled a new look I had not seen at a pool before.

As you can see, we have a lot of great stuff going on!  I feel so blessed to be part of it - to see the smiles, to watch them learn and grow, and have so much fun while they are at it.  Every day their coach tells them he is proud of them.  I do too.  We talk about the fact that God loves them very much and God wants them to have these opportunities to learn and have fun.  This is only the first week.  It will be amazing to see what they are doing by January!

First day of class

Beautiful girls

Cindy leaned so quickly!  She always wears a smile.  So fun to see!

Little ducks on their first day at the pool

So, that is what I have been up to lately.  I don't have photos of the girls soccer team or the boys soccer team.  Next week we will have a tennis team too.  The kids from Los Pinos are getting out and experiencing the world around them.  They are getting a taste (literally) of "diving in" and achieving success.  If they are as successful in life as they are in the swimming pool, Honduras has a bright future!

Friday, November 8

Hello!  I am still alive and doing fine - just without internet.  At the church we have had intermittent access and at home it is out.  So...  I have some great photos to share with you of Marlin's baby, but no way to download them from my phone because I can't get into my email account.  You will see them someday.

This week I decided to join a gym.  It was a really good decision, I think.  I really don't have the money in my budget, but it is keeping me in a positive frame of mind so I am going to find other ways to cut back.

I think I also told you about my broken stove last week?  I tried to make a birthday cake for Misael, as I do every year, and the oven would not heat up.  So I spent the week searching for deals and found a good one.  A friend delivered it on Friday, but I still haven't been able to get it hooked up.  Here they sell stoves without the electric cord.  Don Juan and I spent half the day looking for electric cords so I could plug it in once I got it home.

Hello again

Hi folks!  Sorry, I know it's been a little while.  I firmly believe that this should be a place where you can come and enjoy yourself.  For a little while I was not in the right mind space to offer you that place.  I am not going to sugar coat things here.  It is a place where I will be honest.  So, I thought it best to take a little break.

In reality, the situation that is troubling me has not been resolved.  Know that I do have a lot of support, both here in Honduras and from my friends, family, and church in the US.  I am extremely grateful that people seem to see things the same way I do.  It is a matter of patience and letting things fall into place, I think.

Another stumbling point for the blog has been that I did not have internet in the church yesterday or today, and have not had internet access in home for a week or two.  Maybe this is God's way of keeping be silent while I didn't have much positivity to offer.

In any case I am back and feeling good.  I realized that there are several things I can do on a personal level that will not change the situation, but can change how I feel about it.  As a result, I joined a gym today!  This should help me get my sleep patterns back into shape instead of waking up every night at 2 a.m and fretting away the hours until morning.  It will also get all of those good chemicals flowing through my body again.

The gym is a little bit expensive ($42/month).  They don't have as many gyms here as in the US, so it costs more but I know that physical exercise will benefit my mental health greatly.   I will ask for your support - If you are able to help out with a monthly donation toward a gym membership, I would be really grateful!  The link is always at the bottom of the page.  I will also pinch pennies a little tighter.  I think this is an important and worthwhile investment.

Living in a place where I can't get out and do the physical activities I was accustomed to doing is tough.  Imagine if you could not walk outside of your house alone!  That is life in Honduras.  But this gym is safe and I really enjoyed myself today.

I may not be able to move tomorrow.  I swam for 1/2 an hour.  I did the elliptical for 25 minutes and then I took my first kickboxing class.  I always looked down on kickboxing after so many years of studying karate.  But the class was great exercise and I had fun.  Tomorrow I am looking forward to a pilates class.

So, step one, physical activity.  Step two, more cooking at home.

I tried last week to cook a birthday cake and my oven was broken.  No great surprise.  It has been failing for a while.  For the past week I shopped for ovens and found a store that had great products with really good prices.  Finally today I broke down and invested in a stove.  If I am going to exercise, I need to eat well.  AND my landlords extended family are going to join me in celebrating Thanksgiving!!!!!!  I am really psyched for this.  Carlos' brother and sister-in-law lived in the US and are looking forward to it too.  In fact, she is going to make the pies - the one area where I do not feel confident.  I am extremely excited to share a traditional Thanksgiving dinner!

Yesterday Marlin brought her baby to the church for the first time.  That was super nice.  Marlin was looking and feeling very weak when I last saw her Friday.  But yesterday she looked great!  That gave me a lot of peace.  I was a little worried about her.  The baby is still extremely healthy, with a huge appetite, and growing like crazy.  I have a bunch of pictures I will download as soon as we have internet at the church.

In the evening yesterday we had the weekly ladies meeting.  Last week it was about sexual abuse.  This week it was about self esteem.  I really enjoy our weekly meetings on 2 levels.  I am able to serve the mothers of the kids from Los Pinos because the women who are the leaders of this program always invite me to help them.  Also I learn a lot and can share my own knowledge/experience with the other women.  The coordinators are an interesting team of psychologists, pastors, teachers...  Last night after everyone left as we were cleaning up, they invited me to go out to dinner with them.  They made a point to say it would be very cheap (less than $3.00) and they would like me to come.  We went to a Chinese Restaurant (Chinese food in Honduras is more popular than McDonalds) and shared a delicious plate of fried rice with wonderful conversation.

The whole night was extremely enjoyable, but my favorite part was the ride home.  Jairo had a rule, which I have continued to follow, that I was not allowed to drive in El Centro (downtown).  Last night I learned part of the reason why.  The streets are old, narrow and twisty... and full of transvestites!  Okay.  They were not full of transvestites.  But I did see some.  I told the ladies, "This is quite an education!"  I always like an adventure.  The part that kept cracked me up was that I was there with Walter's mother and her friends.  Walter's mom is very conservative and proper.  I got my first taste of Honduran night life with her.

I guess that gives you a good idea of what has been going on.  Know that I do think of you often.  Every time I see something noteworthy I think, "I need to write about this in my blog!"  I hope to be able to be more regular in my posts.  Thank you for sticking with me!

What to do

Hey guys!  Welcome to entry # 400.

I am doing a lot of personal journaling right now.  Need to get my head in the right place.  Things are going well overall.  Just one sticky situation I need to work through and this public blog is not the place to do it.

Please pray that I take the right approach and that the final outcome is God's will.

Thanks.

Finding Myself

It's been a while!  I haven't had internet at my house and in the church I have been finding ways to keep busy.  Been doing a little more cooking.  Not a lot, but when there is nobody else in the kitchen, which has been happening sometimes lately, I have been jumping in.

Saturday we had the 4th Annual Women's Conference.  It was really, really nice.  We had three speakers and in the end two women accepted Jesus as their savior.

Ethel Turcios, Ruth Sarmiento and Marja Peréz

Ethel Turcios, leader of the elders here at Iglesia en Transformación

Marja Peréz, a teacher at a local bible college where I will start classes in January.

Ruth Sarmiento (sister of Jairo) prophet and healer

I enjoyed the whole conference very much.  Each speaker had a different manner of presentation.  It was great to get together and enjoy the company of so many women.

At mid-day we had tea sandwiches, coffee, and sweet treats.
Seated to the right of me is my friend Shelly.  We first met in my conversational English classes.
Now Shelly is an oral surgeon.  She is my Honduran dentist.

My landlord, Hermida, and me praying.

My good friend Ana and Veronica in prayer.
Aren't they beautiful?

It was also interesting on a personal level for me to see the changes in myself since last year at the conference.  A year ago I was very, very insecure.  I felt like my clothes were wrong, my body wasn't right, I didn't eat right, I didn't cook right, I was not capable of choosing good friends, I wasn't good at much of anything.  I felt pretty low.

But now, I have begun to regain my confidence.  I dress in the way I like to dress.  I eat what I want to eat.  I found people who like to eat my cooking.  I have good friends.  I am doing a good job at the things I am asked to do.  I am still not quite fully recuperated.  But I would say I am 90%.  And I know I will not allow that to happen to myself again.

It is easy when you move to a new culture and you are trying to fit in and learn the customs, to lose yourself.  At least it was very easy for me.  I am not Honduran.  I love the culture and I love my life here.  But there is no need for me to let go of the parts of me that make happy.  For a while I lost sight of those things.  Now I know I can learn and grow in this new phase of my life without letting go of what makes me ME.  People are accepting me for who I really am.  Life is much better than it was a year ago at this time.  I am really grateful for this and for the people who were praying for me and supporting me while I was struggling.

Sunday was the last meeting of our book club.  I read my first book in Spanish!  It was much easier than I expected.  I re-read it in English, just to be sure.  Next month we are going to start the men's book.  We just finished 12 Extraordinary Women.  Next month we start 12 Ordinary Men.

The school year will end in about two weeks.  Nobody is sure exactly when school ends.  But it will be soon.  I am doing some extra work with the kids in preschool who will enter kindergarten in January.  They love the one-on-one attention and I am having a lot of fun with it too.  They are very serious about the homework I give them (which consists of drawing lines and shapes to work on fine motor skills - we haven't gotten to letters yet).  They started bringing backpacks so they can carry their homework in their backpack like their older siblings.  :)  I didn't realize the new school year was starting so soon or I would have begun working with them individually before this.

Also, Ashley, the girl whose Mom has been working in the kitchen for about 2 months, has started to speak!!!!!  Today we were all eating lunch in the classroom.  I was at a different table when I heard someone call my name.  I looked up astonished and the whole class said, "It was Ashley!"  They were as surprised as I was!  Then she continued to talk for the rest of the afternoon.  Her mother was told she couldn't talk because something is wrong with her tongue, but she seems to be talking fine now.  Praise God for Ashley talking!

Today my car is back in the shop.  The mechanic found the parts he needed at a price he was willing to pay (he said they were too expensive before) so I hope this will be the last time I have to take it in for a while.  Yesterday I went to a used clothing store and found a whole bunch of expensive brand name shirts for $3.00.  Another part of re-discovering myself - dressing in clothes that are my own style and not trying to be like anyone else.  If people want to call "What Not to Wear", that is fine.  I have my self confidence back!

My first Honduran funeral

Today was a very strange day.  I have had a lot of mixed emotions and I am still not sure how I really feel.  Some of it I can't share here.  But I can share with you my first Honduran funeral experience.

Got out of my car at the church to have Belinda tell me that we need to talk.  We had a meeting regarding the kitchen and the people who work there yesterday, so I thought maybe it was a follow up on that.  But it wasn't.  She told me that Clara's baby died at 4 a.m. today.

For some reason I hadn't prepared myself for that possibility.  I should have.

Then she showed me text message.  You know how I am always saying that it is hard for me to get accustomed to always greeting people with "Good morning" or whatever greeting fits at the time.  Well, at 4:06 a.m. Belinda received a text that read something like, "Good morning.  I am writing to let you know that our baby just died."  I can't remember exactly, but I was struck by the fact that in the middle of everything, Clara still took the time to write "Good morning" in her message.

Belinda said that Ethel had spoken to Clara and Clara was "tranquila" (calm).  That was certainly true.  Clara was sad at moments, but she was calm and relaxed.  Clara is a strong woman, with strong faith.  I know I can learn a lot from her.

Clara and her family

In the early afternoon they brought a white box with the baby in it.  Relatives had come early and set up the church while I finished feeding the Breakfast Program kids and sent them on their way.  They put the box on a table in the front and had what we would call in the US "calling hours".  Most people had only heard about the baby dying a few hours earlier and many were at work, so the attendants were closest friends and family.  But it was enough people to be a respectful turnout.  I am told that when a baby dies in Honduras, less people attend.  I am guessing that is because of the statistics of infant mortality, which are high even when the baby hasn't developed in a womb that was receiving chemotherapy for the first half of the pregnancy.

Walter spoke for a few minutes.  Then we squeezed into the van, my car, and a pickup truck (with men in the back end) and drove to the cemetery.  I had never been inside a cemetery in Honduras before.  It was interesting and pretty in a different sort of way.

The taller cement things are up to three levels high.  Families are buried together vertically.

It rained for a few minutes, but the sun was still out.
Kind of metaphorical

Thank you to each of you who sent messages of support.  I read each word to Clara and her family.  They appreciated every message very much.

Pato

Marcela and I started walking every day.  We walk up toward La Tigra.  It is beautiful.  Today we had to turn around because some guy on a motorcycle drove up behind us really close, going too slow, then his motorcycle stopped a few feet in front of us.  We weren't sure what was going on, so we turned around.

I told Marcela we need our own truck.  This morning as I pulled out of the gate to go to the church there was a truck with its blinkers on following two people walking up the road.  Probably private security.  Many people here have their own personal body guards.

It feels great to get some exercise, see more of the area where I live, and spend time with Marcela.  So far every night as soon as we get home, thunder and lightening rolls in and it starts to rain.  Thus far we have made it without getting wet.

Marcela and I also met in the city this afternoon for sushi.  It was 2 for 1 so we ordered four rolls and paid for two.  Yummy!

The kids learned a new bible verse today in the preschool class.  And two of them pooped in their pants.  You gotta take the good with the not so good, right?  Wow, that classroom was stinky!

I am trying a new approach to my itchy scalp.  After doing some research on the internet I learned that a certain chemical that makes shampoo more foamy can cause allergies in women 20-45.  So, I had to buy some special, organic shampoo today.  I hope it makes a difference.  Or maybe I don't.  That shampoo was awfully expensive.

Clara had her baby.  It is a boy, which is nice because she has two girls.  The baby only weighs 3 pounds.  It was at 35 weeks of gestation I heard today.  I thought she was not that far along.  I spoke to her this morning.  She said the baby is on antibiotics, but she is not clear why.  She was going to find out more at 11 when the doctors did rounds.  I tried calling several times after that, but there was no answer.  Phones don't always work well in that hospital.  We believe Gabriel Isaac will be healthy.  I will send out an email when I have more details.  Clara will continue to need prayer because she has Leukemia and was supposed to be receiving chemotherapy all of this time.

I will attend my first Quinceñera in two weeks.  One of the girls from the Breakfast Program, Kenia, is turning 15.  She is having a big party at the church and I am on the guest list.  Kenia is a very sweet girl who can be kind of needy and insecure.  This will be a great experience for her - to be the center of attention in a big, positive way.  Even all of the preparation time is good for her.  She is basking in all of the attention.

Lorenzo and I had class today for the first time in a couple of weeks.  He started getting psychological therapy from a lady at the church.  Since that day he stopped coming to the Breakfast Program.  Or he comes and leaves really fast.  Today I asked him if he wanted to have class.  He did.  I sharpened two brand new pencils and we each wrote a story.  It was fun.  Tomorrow we are going to illustrate the stories.  Hopefully that will encourage him to come back.

Lorenzo's regular buddy, Jarvin, wasn't at the Breakfast Program today so Lorenzo chose a different friend.  The boy he chose is a year younger, but they are in the same class.  With Jose as his buddy, Lorenzo gets to be the leader - the smarter one.  They both struggle, but Lorenzo struggles a little less.  It is great for Lorenzo to have Jarvin with him, but I also see benefits to having Lorenzo bring Jose.  Good for self esteem.  I hope they both come tomorrow!

I realized today that I haven't followed up in a long time about Isabel and her daughter Ashley.  They showed up a couple of months ago and Isabel began working in the kitchen.  Isabel is struggling to keep a roof over their head and feed herself and her daughter.  They both now come almost every single day.  Isabel is a really hard worker.  She is very quiet and extremely private.  We encourage her to open up, but she is closed tight.

Ashley is in my preschool class.  She is almost non-verbal.  But she is smart.  She is also very stubborn and can be aggressive toward other kids.  Being at the church is really good for her socialization.  Today I was helping her finish her soup.  She was excited to see duck on the bottom of  her bowl.  I said the word for duck (pato).  She copied the vowel sounds.  That was a first.  Maybe Ashley will be talking soon!

Jetty is ruling my life

I have something embarrassing to admit.  Never consciously thought about the fact that I am embarrassed by it until today.  At 5:16 a.m.

My cat rules my life.  She has complete control of the house.  When she is not happy it stresses me out.  Her allergy related asthma (worsened by living at the edge of a rainforest in the rainy season) makes me anxious.  And when she wakes me up at 4:30 a.m. every morning I get up and deal with her.  Unfortunately, she wakes me up at 4:30 almost every morning

It starts with walking across me as I sleep.  At first I lie still and pretend I am asleep.  Then she licks my hand.  Continue feigning sleep.  Then it's my nose.  Or any part of my face she can reach, but she prefers the tip of my nose if she can get at it.  Her tongue is rough.  She doesn't lick gently.  I toss and turn a few times.  Sometimes, like maybe once out of 10, this works.  She gets distracted and I go back to sleep.  But the other nine times she won't stop and the licking is accompanied by soft cries.

If I am able to ignore all of this, she jumps onto one of several shelves in the room and proceeds to knock everything off.  I used to have breakable things on my shelves.  Not anymore.  Everything breakable is already broken.  My prized trophy for serving at The Breakfast Program, two candles, picture frames, my bite-guard, a lamp, and several glasses (some full of juice) are all victims of Jetty's 4:30 a.m. self entertainment.

I have varied responses according to my mood, what I was dreaming when she woke me up, how much sleep I got prior to 4:30, how much sleep I will be able to get afterward, and how much food was in her dish when I go to bed at night.

You see Jetty eats canned food and she only likes it fresh.  So if I put out a fresh can at night when she already has some left, she will discard the "old" and only eat the new.  If I stack fresh food on top of her remaining food, she will eat until she gets close to the old food.  Then she will stop, wasting the old food and part of the new food.  So my biggest hope every day is that she finishes her food at some point before bedtime and has plenty left each night when I go to sleep.

If I know there is food in her bowl at 4:30 I have less patience.  It can get a little ugly.  I yell "Stop",  "Don't lick me",  "Get down from there".  The neighbors might hear me, but Jetty doesn't seem to.  I have locked her out of the bedroom.  But now, with the rainy season, my bedroom door is swollen and doesn't close tightly.  Recently I discovered that for some reason at 4:30 in the morning Jetty sometimes needs a gentle reminder that she already has food in her bowl.  So my first reaction once I reach full consciousness is now to go to the bowl, pick it up and put it back down.  She eats and I go back to sleep.

If there is no food I get up.  She purrs.  I shake the can to loosen up the food as she weaves between my legs.  I peel the sticker off the pull tab - something they apparently have to do in order to import Friskies canned food to Honduras.  That darn sticker is hard to peel through half open eyes.  Finally I dump the food into the bowl and stick the empty can on top of the newel post.

I used to put the can in the garbage, but have learned if I do I will be woken again to the sound of the garbage can tipping over and Jetty digging the can out of the garbage, then licking it clean on the tile floor.  It is a lovely noise to try to sleep to.

This morning I was unable to fall back asleep.  Since it was a holiday I turned on the computer and was searching for interesting blogs to follow.  I've been doing that for a few days but haven't found much of interest.  Most people gave up blogging a few years ago so everything is dated June 2010ish.  This morning I found a blog written by a 29 year old girl living in Chicago.  I lived in Chicago when I was 29.  She is from NY.  Me too.  She is a foodie, like me.  And she has a cat whose "prime hours of operation" are between 4:30 and 5:15 a.m.  Hahahaha!  It was 5:16 a.m.  Jetty was lying next to me with a full stomach, sound asleep.

Somehow I found comfort in the fact that I am not the only one who has this problem.  So today I am admitting to the world.  I have a cat who controls my life.  And if you ever need a favor at 4:30 a.m., I'm your gal.

So much good stuff!

This morning I had the prediscipleship group at 8:30.  I left in plenty of time, but was an hour late to arrive.  Last week there was a 5K for breast cancer.  Apparently this week there was one too, but I didn't know it.  I was about 10 cars behind the runners, who took up the entire highway.  If only I had been five minutes earlier!  Behind me were miles and miles of traffic.  Actually, let me correct myself.  They were not runners.  They were walkers.  Which meant after an hour of driving with the speedometer registering 0 kilometers per hour my clutch leg was very tired.

I sent a message to the leader of the group to say that I was going to be late.  I missed the whole thing.  He was able to take an alternate route.  I know an alternative to get home from the church, but I wasn't sure about how to get from my house to the church in a different way.

Today I was talking with a lady from the church whom I really like, but don't know very well.  She is a social worker too.  We talked about the possibility of her doing some of the home studies with me, since Chayito is busy and can only do them for one week in November.  Of course, we need to run all of this through the proper channels.  But I am so excited with the idea of using my mind for assessments again!

She told me that if we get the home studies done, there are members of small groups within the church who have been wanting to serve in Los Pinos, but weren't sure how.  The home studies will show us how church members can serve fellow church members or families of the kids from the Breakfast Program!  I am really, really excited about this.  It is right up my alley.  I never knew there were others who shared the same interest.  It seems like I will have lots of support.  I sure hope things fall into place as we take this idea to the leadership.  I am going to pray about this.  I think after a year and a half, I have started to find my niche!  I will continue at the Breakfast Program, of course, because that is where all of this stems from.  To get outside and stretch my brain is going to feel wonderful.

I also talked to the man who is organizing all of the sports programs for the kids.  He asked me to take names of 21 kids who want swimming lessons, 10 kids who want to play tennis, and 15 girls who want to play soccer.  He also said that the pool is going to provide another swim instructor for us!  We are bringing 7 kids each day and we will have the teacher from the pool as well as me working with the kids.  This is awesome!

Every day I feel like things are becoming more clear as to how I can serve to my full potential.  Now I can't wait for them to fall into place and come to fruition.  Not only is this great for the kids, it also makes me feel like I am serving as I should and living a more complete life.  I don't mean to be self centered, but it feels really great on a personal level. I am grateful to God for that.

The future looks bright!

Today was the start of something I am a little nervous about.  From now on (except this Monday, which is a holiday) I have commitments at the church every single day of the week until Christmas.  Weekdays are Breakfast Program.  Swimming lessons start in a few weeks which means I'll have to be there super early.  (Those of you who know me know how painful that is for me.)  Then we'll get back from swimming in time for me to teach preschoool and for all of the kids to eat.  I am really excited about this.  Otherwise I would be dreading it, just because of the early hour.

I am in the church on Saturdays now because I was asked to be in the Christmas choir!  I didn't know until today that it is an honor to be chosen.  In the past the Christmas choir has included anyone who wants to participate.  But this year people were hand selected.  Today was our first rehearsal.  We are not just singing, we are getting vocal lessons!  The hardest part for me is learning the words, the phrasing and pronunciation.  I already know 4 of the 7 songs, but I know them in a different language and with different phrasing.  I feel great to have been chosen.  I am excited that I will learn more about how to use my voice. Saturdays will be a fun day.

Normally I like to have one day per week for myself.  I am going to try to think of Saturdays as my fun day, since I do like to sing and it is an honor to be chosen.

Tomorrow morning I have pre-discipleship group before church.  We are studying Psalm 139 and have to prepare notes to share.

I am also reading a book for the book club.  It's the first book I have tried to read in Spanish.  Thankfully, it is much more easy than I ever expected.  The hardest part is that I know the people in the bible by different names.  Sometimes it is hard to figure out who they are talking about.  Some of the people and the places can have names that are quite different from English to Spanish.

The expensive grocery store has Chobani yogurt again, which is nice.  It is only a tiny bit more expensive than in the US, which also makes me happy.  I'll buy it as a special treat now and then.

In my last entry I wrote about God guiding me as to how to deal with a person who was frustrating me.  God is faithful!  As soon as I woke up the next morning I received a message saying that a young boy would like to talk to me.  I had no idea why, but he is a sweetie, so I went to the church early to meet with him.  Turns out he wanted to talk to me about something that completely guided me in my approach to the other person!  I was really grateful.  I still have not addressed the issue with the other person, but I do have complete peace about it.  Thank you God!

Yesterday I went to the dentist.  Jetty knocked my nightstand over and somehow my nightguard broke in the fall.  So my friend who is a dentist is having a new nightguard made.  My friend's mother was at the church and asked for a ride, so we had time to talk.  It was a really good talk.  She has been a member of the church for a long time.  She is also the one who does social work/psychology at the church, as well as in her professional life.

We made plans to go out into Los Pinos and visit the families of the kids we work with in the Breakfast Program.  We are going with a Social Work approach.  We are going to interview the families and ask how we can help the families, how we can support the families and the kids as social workers.  Wow!  As I write about this I am getting even more excited!  THIS is my comfort zone.  This is how I have been successful in serving people in the past.  I am excited to work together with someone established in the church and put our heads together to serve the families of Los Pinos.

I also told her that I would like to work in La Tigra.  She said that this is also a way I could serve in La Tigra.  It is much less dangerous to go house to house in La Tigra.  I wouldn't need her to accompany me.  I am really excited to see how all of this will fall into place.

She said she has been talking with the leadership and they are looking for opportunities for me to serve in ways that fully realize all of my potential.  She said they appreciate me and want to make sure that I am happy so I will want to stay here.  I told her that I am happy.  But I do feel like I could serve in more effective ways.

I adore my preschool kids.  At the same time I know that teaching preschool is not my personal strength.  I do have personal strengths.  Despite my love for the kids, classroom teaching is not one.

I am happy to serve in any way I am asked.  However, I also believe that in time God will show me exactly where I am supposed to be.  For now I can serve with all of my heart, wait patiently, and enjoy all of the opportunities God has given me.  I am happy doing exactly what I am doing.  But I am also looking forward to using all the gifts God gave me to serve and love this community.  The future looks bright!  I am busy and excited.

A work in progress

Today I got to talk to my violin teacher!  Turns out he is doing really well.  He did move to the senior living center.  He got to bring his cat, Honey, with him.  That makes him really happy.  She is a rescue cat and he said he felt he owed it to her to care for her as long as he could.  He said she adjusted to the senior living center more quickly than he did.

I am hoping I will make it back to the US to soon to see him.  But as Mr. Meyers said, we will see each other face to face again if it is God's will.

He said he has met some nice men there, and some nice women too.  And some people who need friendship, but they don't know it yet.  He said they are the people he is reaching out to most.  He said some people aren't receptive, but that is not for us to worry about.  What is important is that we reach out to them with God's love.  He said he is letting his light shine and he knows I am letting my light shine as I serve in Honduras.

I have been struggling to show God's love to someone lately.  The person says and does things that are disrespectful.  Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and felt frustrated about it.  After talking to Mr. Meyers I realized that I cannot control another person's behavior.  If someone chooses to behave in a way that does not honor themselves or God, then the LEAST of their problems is that the person is not honoring me.  I am still not sure how to approach the person, if I should approach them at all.  But I do have faith that God will show me how to move forward.  I know I should not spend any more sleepless nights thinking about it.

Mr Meyers said he has shared the note I left in his doorway in July with several friends.  He said they thought it was very special.  He said he will cherish it forever.  I wish I could remember better what I wrote.  I do have peace knowing that even if there is something I forgot to write, we have spoken it to each other.

I also read him the blog entry that I wrote last week about our friendship.  I didn't expect to cry but when I got to the part about his phone going straight to "The number you have reached has been disconnected", I sobbed and managed to squeak out, "Sorry."  He said, "No, let the tears flow."  Mr. Meyers has a way of making people comfortable in the most uncomfortable of situations.

Mr. Meyers is giving piano and violin lessons to people at the senor living center.  I hope they realize they have a master among them.  I'm sure they do.  I think it is great that he is still able to do what he loves.

I feel a lot better after having spoken with him.  His voice still sounds the same.  He is content to be where he is.  He said he knows her is where God wants him to be and he is always excited to see what more God has in store for him.

I told my Mom I was surprised that I cried when I talked to him.  We have both cried in front of each other before.  I just didn't expect it this time.  My Mom reminded me that I really hadn't known if I would ever talk to Mr. Meyers again, so it's not surprising I would cry.  Thank God our special friendship is still a work in progress!  I really want to see Mr. Meyers face to face again.  It will be interesting to see what plans God has for us.  I am grateful for every moment we have already had together, but I also miss my friend.

My big mouth

Yes, I can be outspoken.  Sometimes I say things without thinking.  And sometimes it gets me into trouble.  Yesterday I dropped off my car with the mechanic.  He offered to drive me to the church so I wouldn't have to pay for a cab.  On the way we were making small talk.

I told him that it made me smile to see the yellow Land Rover Freelander on his lot.  I assumed he was fixing it.  I told him the story about how in 2002 I had a boyfriend who bought a Freelander.  One day the boyfriend told me I had left the rear window down overnight.  I told him I had not, but he believed I had.  A few days later he was very apologetic.  He had been driving through an automatic car wash when the rear window suddenly lowered all by itself.  Water sprayed all through the car and even hit him in the back of the head.  He then believed that I did not put the rear window down.

I told the mechanic that car had a ton of problems.  When it rained water leaked through the overhead lights.  The headlights NEVER worked.  That car was always at the dealership.  It was brand new and had more problems than any car I ever saw.

The mechanic said, "Yes, that car is very special."

I said forcefully, "That car is garbage."

The mechanic laughed and said, "I have two."

Oh boy.  I didn't know what to say.  I told him I was sure that other years models were better.  He said no, his cars have problems.  The windows open by themselves on his cars too.  And the roof even fell on his head!  But he likes the car.  I guess when you are a mechanic you can afford to have a car that is very special.

He found some things in my car that I wasn't aware of - luckily small things.  Some of the dealership's recommendations were unnecessary so I was glad I didn't pay to have it fixed there.  The mechanic is going to keep his eye out for new tires on sale.  He also said if I ever have a problem with the car I can call him and he will always come and help.  I guess he found my big mouth amusing, not insulting.  It is such a huge blessing to have a knowledgeable and trustworthy mechanic!

A boy broke his arm this morning at the church.  He was playing fútbol but it wasn't any sort of collision.  He just tripped and fell.  His forearm was clearly broken.  I was afraid if he moved it the bone would break through the skin.  It was pretty messed up.  He tried so hard to be brave.  I was proud of him.

Last night after Honduras qualified for the World Cup the president declared that today was a national holiday.  It appeared to me that most people still went to work.  Traffic was heavy and the American Embassy had its usual long line in front.

Al Mundial!

Even the Jesus Statue is celebrating!

Honduras qualified for the World Cup last night!