La despidida de Octavio

Last night we had a going away party for my friend Octavio at church.  He has been good to me since I first started attending my new church.  He is friendly, caring and kind.  Over the past year I have watched him grow into a prayer warrior.  Before I went home in July he said he felt called to go to the US to spread the word of God.  By the time I got back he had tickets and legal US residency!  (It helps that he has lots of family already living there.)

First we gave him a gift - a bilingual bible.  Then we each expressed how much we are going to miss him. Octavio is a big presence in the church.  He constantly raises his voice in song or prayer.  His famous quote is "ALELUUUUUUUUUYITA!"  He says that every time he walks into the church.

I am going to miss him a lot.  I am sure people who know him better will miss him even more.  There will be a vacancy in our church without Ocatavio.

He is the perfect person to go to the US, for precisely the same reasons that I will miss him.  His voice will proclaim his love for God everywhere he goes.  In a place where people are so quiet about their beliefs, in an effort to avoid offending someone, Octavio will be raising his voice in praise of the God he loves.  Being politically correct is not important to Octavio.  He will not be quiet when it comes to expressing his joy in the Lord.

After a time of prayer, anointing and commissioning, we ate pupusas and then we said good bye.  Octavio will be in Miami, at least in the beginning.  He is going to stay inside the US until he has citizenship.  I look forward to seeing how God uses my brother in Christ, Octavio.  I am blessed to have known him.

Here are some photos I took:

Pastora Ruth gave Octavio a bilingual bible

He read each of our messages to him

Wise, loving words for Octavio from Ricardo

Octavio listened intently

Pastor Paysen being goofy with Octavio

Octavio returned his copy of the church's key to Pastora Ruth.
Pastora Ruth gave the key back for Octavio to keep.
Octavio held the key to his heart.

We prayed

And commissioned Octavio to go to the US as a missionary
from Alas de Aguilas

Blessed and ready to go!

We'll miss you Octavio! 

Two opportunities in one week

If you are a regular reader of this blog you already know things in Honduras often don't go as planned.  One becomes accustomed to living in this manner - never knowing what to expect and going with the flow.  We missionaries call it "being flexible".  We take great pride in (add sarcastic voice here) ridding ourselves of the rigid North American culture, tossing out the wrist watch, letting go of expectations, and taking each moment as it comes. By the end of year two as a missionary, we think we have the Art of Flexibility mastered.  In reality, I think it can be a daily struggle for most of us, whether we admit it or not.

This morning I woke up at 5:30 a.m.  I was excited to join a bible study in English at 8:15 with North American friends. I was liking my odds of being on time although it takes extra long to shower and dress with the cast.  At 7 a.m. I finished checking messages and was ready to shower when I received a new message.  It was from the missionary I admire most in the world.  In fact, everyone I know admires this woman immensely.  Men and women, young and old, everyone thinks Gracie is awesome and inspiring.  You can ask around.

A while ago she had written something on Facebook about licensing foster homes in Tegucigalpa.  She doesn't live in the city, so I messaged her to say if she ever needed help I was experienced in licensing and monitoring foster homes.  In June I met with her about something else. She said she was really busy. (She is always insanely busy doing awesome things.) She said we would talk after the second week in August about how I could help.

Today she called.  She asked if I know a family that lives up in the mountains where I used to live. In fact I do.  She has a child who needs to be placed in their home as soon as possible.  She would like me to help the family finish the licensing process.  I told her that would be fine. She explained what was lacking and asked me to get it done.  Then she said she'd be busy for the rest of the day and wished me luck.  I was on my own.

I immediately sent the family a message and got a response right back.  By 7:30 things were rolling. We had a plan.  By 8:30 I was 15 minutes late for the bible study, but we had already found another baby who needed a foster home.  By noon I had random people sending me messages on Facebook about how to be licensed as a foster parent.

I spent this afternoon and evening at a friends house in the mountains.  We planned this day for 3 weeks and already postponed once.  I couldn't cancel our plans at the last minute again.  So I set the phone down at about 2 p.m.  When I checked my phone after dinner I had a world's record 22 messages.

It's official.  It's not the same position I was looking at last week, but as of today I am serving in a new way.  Nothing like jumping in with both feet!

The history of the Honduran "Department of Child and Family Services" is interesting.  It was inefficient and corrupt for a while.  About a year ago, they closed.  They re-opened under another name with fewer employees. They didn't know how many kids they had in placements, or where the placements were.

An NGO formed in order to help. Their help was eagerly received by the Honduran government. Now the NGO does the hands-on stuff and reports back to the government, which oversees everything. I am a volunteer for the NGO who monitors the placements and kids. In this new design there are less people working for the government, therefore less money goes to paychecks and more money actually helps the children in foster care.

It will take a little while to learn the system here.  This morning I thought I would have a nice, gentle initiation to navigating the Honduran foster care system. At 7 a.m. only one family wanted to be licensed.  However, I am happy and nervous to report that when that one soon-to-be foster parent posted on Facebook that she is excited to become licensed, it sparked the interest of numerous others. I may not have the relaxed pace I was counting on at 7 a.m.  But the more work I have, the faster I'll learn.  And the more foster homes we license, the more kids we can take out of bad situations.  So, I'll work fast.  Happily.

The other opportunity to do social work which I trained for last week is still on the table.  The lady in charge gets back Friday, so I hope to move forward on that next week.  In that organization I can serve as much or as little as I choose.  In my mind I imagine I would like to spend a lot of time working with them.

I will leave my schedule in God's hands. I am praying for discernment. I want to challenge myself completely without getting in over my head.

A long time ago when this transition began, God told me that I would fall into bed exhausted each night.  If things keep up at this pace, God's promise will come to fruition soon.

As I was getting ready for bed a friend knocked on the door.  She asked if I could help her study for an oral English exam. We worked until well after midnight. In the end she recorded me saying all of the words she needs to learn in English. I've shown her the technique (where her tongue goes for "th" and how to shape her lips for "m"). She will continue studying with the voice recording on her phone.

It's 2:45 a.m. and I am going to bed tired.  I believe this is the start of my next "season" in Honduras. My heart tells me the best is yet to come and I say I am ready, eager and willing.  I am not sure what is in store for me, but I am used to that now.  I am flexible.  I say Bring it on, Honduras!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  - Philippians 4:13

Dale! Dale! Dale!

It's been a productive few days.

Wednesday my friend Carol and I met for coffee (although neither of us really drinks coffee) and our bi-weekly accountability check in.  I felt like I haven't accomplished much since I got back from the US, but as I recounted the past two weeks she told me that she is really proud of me.  It hasn't been much of the fun stuff that I like to do, but I have gotten a whole lot done.

Afterward we went to her doctor's office for the meeting that she was asked to attend about "40 women" and "help".  She knew nothing more because she is still working on her Spanish skills. It turned out that the doctor had arranged a meeting with a man who wants to hire 40-100 single mothers.  He was hoping that we might know a bunch of women who need jobs.

What he wants them to do is kind of like selling Avon, only the product is inexpensive treats for kids. The single mothers could stand outside of school when they go to pick up there kids, or go to a park or a grocery store, or just walk down the street.  The stuff should be easy to sell.  We told him we would think about it, pray about it and get back to him.

I was translating everything for Carol.  She used to be a business lady when she lived in the US, so she had a lot of good questions to ask.  After the meeting was over we ended up sitting around for another hour just talking about God and the definition of a miracle.  Carol's doctor said she believes the fact that we were all sitting there healthy and well is a miracle.  Her friend said yes, in a place where "12 out of every 10 people" have Chikungunya or dengue, the fact that we are all healthy is a miracle.

While I was at the meeting I received a phone call from a women who works with an NGO that I am interested in learning more about.  I think I would like to serve with.  There is a big long story behind it, but I won't go into that until it's official.  God did some cool things to give me this connection.

She explained what more about what they do and some of the ways I could help.  She asked if I could come to a training the very next day, even if it was for an hour or two.  I told her I could be there the whole day if she'd like.  The training was presented by a women from Argentina and entitled, "Basic Concepts for Working in Violence".  I was so excited I could hardly contain myself when I got off the phone.

I still have to fill out the paperwork and have an interview with security, but it sounds like an incredible opportunity to serve in some amazing ways.  I'll be doing social work again.  I am excited about it and the woman in charge is really excited too.  When I walked into the training she ran over and gave me a big, long hug, although we never met before.

She introduced me to some of the ladies I would work with if I chose to work with teens.  She called them her "warriors".  They were super nice and even gave me their phone numbers in case I might have a question.  I would like to be a warrior for teens.  Everyone there was friendly and kind.  It seemed like a good environment to serve in.

I am eager to see where God leads with this opportunity, but I have to be patient for another week because the lady in charge will be away until next Friday.

My car was in the shop for regular maintenance all day yesterday and today. It cost more than I expected, but a few extra things needed to be done so there's not much I can do about that.  Having a reliable car is paramount for my personal safety.

Erika came over this afternoon.  I had asked if she would mind giving me a hand around the house.  I was supposed to sit still and let her work.  In fact I put off writing this so that I would have something specific to do while she was here.  But I am not good at sitting still and letting her work.  Maybe next time I should just leave the house.

I hung laundry before she came this morning and that messed my wrist up for the whole day - just putting clothes on the line.

I picked out some clothes I don't wear and things that are too small for me. as well as some pots and pans I don't use anymore.  Erika when home with a heavy, heavy bag of stuff for herself plus a bunch of tomatoes from Fany.

She agreed to come back and clean again next week.  She even scolded me for how dusty the stuff in my night stand was.  I love that Erika always respectful, but at the same time she is comfortable enough to scold me when I don't keep my house like I should.

As I went to drop her off I there were a bunch of little boys playing where I usually turn around.  They all said, "It's Mary Lynn!"  I only know a few of them, but they know me and my car is familiar there.

At first I thought, "Uh Oh, Now I can't turn around here."  They were gathered in a big group right where I do a 3 point turn to get out. Then I remembered the favorite occupation of Honduran little boys.  They LOVE to direct cars.  So I asked if they would help me.  Before I could even start moving they started yelling "Dale! Dale! Dale"  (That means Go!, but in a manly way.  Literally it means "give it" - like give it gas.)  It's a very grown up thing to say.

So, with the help of about 10 little boys between 2 and 10, I got turned around and headed back down the mountain.  A group of older men sat on the new stairs the government just built that lead to Erika's house and watched with big smiles.  They found it as entertaining as I did.

Erika is excited to have steps instead of a goat path.  She said it is much less dangerous.  They are even going to put in a handrail she said.  Sometimes it's the little things.

Resting the wrist

Last night a friend called to say her family is arriving this morning and her car broke down.  I had plans to go to a bible study but had to cancel so I could up pick her family up from the airport, take them for a quick lunch, and then back to where she lives.

I'm glad I got to go home last month.  Everyone's families are visiting Honduras this month.  I feel sad knowing that my family will never see my life here.  They will never meet my friends or see where I live.  They will never taste the food or experience the place and people I love.  So, while I am happy for all of my friends as they have their families in town this month, it is a little bittersweet for me.

Yesterday, after hurting my wrist washing the dishes the night before, I did my best to have a day of rest. It doesn't do any good to have everyone praying for my wrist if I am straining it and hurting it more each day.  So yesterday I grabbed my bible and read. However, I realized that even when I am doing nothing, I still manage to use my wrist.  Today I bought a sling that not only holds my arm still, but also covers my hand.  It's slowed me down a little.

Last night Fany cooked dinner so I wouldn't have any dishes to wash.

This morning my friend Carol called and prayed for my wrist until her phone cut out and I couldn't hear her any more.

Erika agreed to come over and clean my house once or twice/week until I get this cast off.  Lorenzo and Carlos are both missing school because they don't have any shoes, so she wants to use the money she earns to help her family buy them shoes for school.

Tomorrow I have to drop the car off for an oil change.  I am thinking I will need new brake pads soon too.  It feels that way.  Grateful for a good mechanic I trust.  I am going to tell him to check out the brakes and let me know how long until I have to change them.  I know he'll tell me the truth if it doesn't need to be done right away.

While the car is in the shop I am meeting with my friend Carol for coffee.  Then we have a meeting with her doctor.  Carol is so funny.  She doesn't understand Spanish very well.  Her doctor called her last week and asked if Carol could come to her office on Friday.  Carol called me and asked me to go with her to translate.  She said she really wasn't sure what the meeting was about except that her doctor said something about "40 women" and "help" in Spanish.  Carol figured I would like to go. She is right.

We had the conference last Friday.  By lunch we realized we were going to be awfully tired at the end of the day.  I was happy when Carol decided to call her doctor and ask if the meeting could be pushed until tomorrow.  We are not sure if we are helping 40 women, or if they are helping us, or what exactly we are doing.  But that's okay.  As Carol said, as long as they don't ask for money or make us sign a contract (hahaha) we will be fine.  "Help" and "women" is what we are here for.  I look forward to seeing what God has in store for us.  It is in a poor part of the city, so it could bring in some interesting folks ("women").

Attack Cat

I forgot to write yesterday that the Vice President of Honduras spoke at our conference.  Today the governor of my state spoke.  In my opinion she was more impressive than the VP.

I believe I made a connection today that will be critical to my future in Honduras.  I don't want to get too excited yet, so I am not going to write about it here.  But I am praying and hoping.

Before you even go there, let me clarify. It is not the man of my dreams.

At 5:30 a.m. I was pounced on by my cat.  Apparently she is not accustomed to a blue cast in the bed so she felt the need to leap across my head and attack my casted arm.  Her back end landed on the side of my face.  It was startling to say the least.

The Port Authority Has No Authority Over the Ports

This post will be short because I can't type very well.  I got a cast on my arm Wednesday.  My first cast ever.  It's almost as itchy as the mango rash.

Three weeks ago while I was in the US I fell.  I wasn't doing anything exciting.  I was running across the road in flip flops.  Now that I have a cast I wish there was a more interesting story behind it.

I don't have health insurance in the US and couldn't figure out a way to get affordable treatment, so I waited to get back to Honduras to see a doctor.  No broken bones, but I messed up the cartilage in my wrist.  We are praying it will heal with the cast.  I have never had so many people pray over me!  Lots of people are praying for this wrist of mine.

It feels great to be back in Honduras.  I am not back in a normal routine yet, but I've been busy every second.  This week was full between doctors' appointments and conferences.

Sunday I was invited to take part in a meeting for the leaders at my church.  Being invited to attend felt like a big new step.  The meeting was motivating.  I learned about plans for the future of the church and made a commitment to help achieve them.  It was exciting!

Monday I got my driver's license renewed.  Aquiles, a man from Honduran Fellowship, helped me get that done. It's quite a process. In Honduras you have to pass a psychological exam in order to get your license.  The exam asks questions about how quickly you anger, if you can tell time, and if you can draw a line through mazes without touching the walls of the maze.  How that assesses your ability to drive, I'll never know.

Tuesday was a conference for women entitled "Dealing with Disappointment".  I was surprised by how many women attended.  Every chair was full! We learned and shared. I met interesting new people. They invited me to attend a women's bible study.

Today was the first day of a two day conference about Unity between missionaries in Honduras.  I loved what the pastor who opened the conference said.  He said that working together is not enough.  We need to love one another.  In that manner we will be serving the way God called us to serve.  He was inspiring.

We spent HOURS talking about how to get containers passed through customs in Honduras.  After about three hours it came out that in reality the Honduran Port Authority has no authority over the ports. The ports are controlled by a private entity. Basically the private entity can do whatever it wants to do.

There is a group of people who are available to missionaries as advocates.  They are lawyers and members of the government who joined together to help us get things done. They talked about how much they appreciate the work of missionaries in Honduras.  They don't want us to waste our resources on taxes and fines, as many people are doing.  They don't want us to waste our time fighting with the people at customs when we could be using that time to serve.  So they are willing to do that work for us.  They are accomplishing everything faster, with fewer fines than any of the private ministries can. It was nice to see that the Honduran people understand our struggles.  It was even nicer to see them standing up for us and fighting for us.

Photos from Rockygrass

My Mom's cat and dog

Campground at Rockygrass in Lyons, CO

Cool moon

Joe

Playing monkey in the middle

Picnic

Playing with Adela

Joe

My brother and Jack

 

Bob and Joe

Brothers

Random observations during my visit to the US

People always ask how it feels to be back in the US.  Here are some of the things I have noticed in this trip:

Grocery stores:  So much stuff.  Such a huge selection of everything. Especially yogurt. Lots of things I have never seen or heard of before.  This is where I feel most like a stranger in a strange land - in the grocery store.

It took 2 weeks before I flushed my toilet paper without thinking twice.  (In Honduras the septic systems can't handle toilet paper, so you have to discard of TP in the waste paper basket.)

Last week I was dropping off a friend at her house after visiting her church.  She rolled her window all of the way down.  It was beautiful outside.  I knew the logical thing was to roll my window down too.  But it was against every instinct that has been ingrained in me over the past few years.  I rolled my window down completely and enjoyed the fresh air until we came to a stoplight.  Although I realized it was completely irrational, I felt very anxious sitting there, stopped at the light with both windows open.  I explained to my friend that if you leave even enough space for someone to stick their fingertips into the windows, they can force the window down, then put a gun to your head.  It will take a long time for me to get used to driving with my windows down again.

People tend to use water differently in the US.  For example in Honduras, we tend to wet everything, then wash it all with soap, then sprinkle handfulls of water over the top to rinse everything at once. This morning I heard the sound of running water. After a few minutes I realized nobody else was around, so I went to investigate.  The kitchen sink was running.  My host was watching tv in another room.  I have become overly sensitized to the sound of running water.  At another friend's house, water was left running purposely so it would get hot.  I heard the sound of running water, saw nobody in the kitchen, and turned it off.  After having saved each drop of water that came out of our faucets to reuse it for cleaning or watering plants, I have become very conscious about water.

Last week I attended Rockygrass Music Festival. They had a station set up for people to fill water bottles.  They also had some sinks outside the bathrooms to wash your hands.  It wasn't until the last day I was there that I realized I could drink the water that came out of that sink.  It feels great to drink sink water.  My mom lets it run until it gets cold, but I'll take sink water at any temperature.

Yesterday I went to the store.  The cashier was a bubbly teenager.  She asked if I had found everything I was looking for.  After I made my purchase she thanked me and said have a great day, or something like that.  I remembered when I first moved to Honduras it felt strange when I was not thanked for purchases.

I think the biggest change about being in the US is the new fashion style of short shorts and short skirts.  My Mom thinks I am turning into a prude.  Maybe I am but really, it is shocking to my eyes.  I am so glad I am not the mother of a young girl in the US right now.  I have seen more teenaged butt cheeks than anyone should ever see.

I also notice how incredibly healthy many people in Salt Lake and Colorado are.  There was a river at the music festival last week so people were running around in bathing suits.  It was like I was surrounded by professional athletes.  Many, many women of all ages were pure muscle without an ounce of fat.  I am not accustomed to seeing that many women at that extreme level of fitness - but good for them!

Man buns.  I remember a friend posted about this new fad on Facebook a while ago - men wearing their hair in buns.  It seems to be much more popular in Salt Lake than it is in Denver.  Colorado men are sporting lots of brush cuts and beards.  But every male server in Salt Lake (exaggeration, of course) is wearing a man bun and it is not pretty, folks.  It takes a special man to pull off a man bun and look good.  This should not be a trend for the masses.

Big trucks.  Although I have grown accustomed to it now, when I first got to the US it was surprising to see so many big trucks everywhere.  Really big trucks.  I think people in Honduras tend to think more about gas mileage.  (A generalization - obviously everyone in Honduras does not think the same.)  When I bought my car and recently when a friend bought her car, gas mileage was a key factor as our Honduran friends helped us choose the right car.  Also this horrible new green color is bizarre.  I would ask who in the world would want a car that color green, but clearly many people do.  It seems to be everywhere.

In Honduras we all have tinted car windows.  My car windows are very dark so that nobody can see I am a woman driving alone.  When I started driving in Honduras it took me a while to stop waving for other cars or pedestrians to pass in front of me.  We use a short beep to signal that we are yielding.  Now that I am back in the states, I forget that everyone can see me.  I never think to wave a pedestrian across the street.  If they wave to me to say thank you, I feel surprised they can see me.

A few weeks ago I got a flat tire.  It is a long story, but it happened at night in a pretty desolate part of Denver.  Had I been in Honduras, I would have never considered getting out of my car to fix the tire myself.  But I did and in the process hurt my hand.  In fact I am pretty sure there are broken bones in my wrist and hand. It's been two weeks and I still feel like I am going to vomit if I use them, plus there are places where there appear to be bones sticking out at odd angles.  I'll get x-rays when I get back to Honduras because I have insurance there.  The thought has crossed my mind that I wish I had been in Honduras when I got that flat because I never would have gotten out of my car and tried to fix it myself.  Instead it has been a rough few weeks with this messed up wrist/hand.

While fruits and veggies are more expensive in the US, I eat more produce here than in Honduras. The reason I don't eat more veggies in Honduras is laziness.  Since you can't consume tap water, it is a pain in the neck to wash and dry vegetables.  I have to pat each piece of lettuce dry, being sure to get into the nooks and crannies if I make a salad.  So I don't make many salads.  My Mom and I have been eating a ton of salads in my time in the US.  One night while I was in Salt Lake, my friend Jody made a huge salad bar for dinner with every fixing you could imagine.  I have enjoyed salads and some veggies that are hard to find in Honduras.

Tonight I head back to Honduras.  When I get back I have three urgent appointments - one with a doctor for my arm.  Then I look forward to falling back into a regular schedule.

Fany told me that we no longer have internet at the house.  This means that my posts will not be as consistent.  I will do my best to post every time I have internet access.

My time in the states has been great overall.  I got to see everyone I wanted to see except my friend Jenivere in Salt Lake, and Brooke in Colorado.  Although I didn't see my nephews until the last week, I got some good quality time with them.  That is what is most important.  My time with my Mom was really nice too.  I was so busy the rest of the time that when I was with my Mom we mostly relaxed.  It was nice to sit around and enjoy quiet time with her.

My bags are packed.  One is .5 lbs over the 50 lbs limit, so I am praying for favor with the people at United check in.  Sometimes they have let me through with a bag that was 2 pounds over the limit, and other times they wouldn't let me through with .2 pounds over.

God is my River Boat Guide (Part II)

As I was planning to come back to the US, my friend Jody kept telling me she had a present she was really excited to give me.  I am a weirdo.  I don't really like to receive presents.  It actually makes me really uncomfortable.  So I kept thinking to myself, 'Oh no.  Jody is really excited about this gift.  What could it possibly be?  There's nothing I really want or need very much.  I hope that I can act as excited as she is when she gives me this thing.'  I was kind of dreading it.

When I got to Salt Lake we picked up my friend's Jeep, which he kindly allowed me to drive for the week.  Then we headed to Jody's.  One of the first things she said when we got there was that she wanted to give me the gift.  I braced myself.  Her husband was busy with something and said, "Wait!  I want to dry off my hands and be ready to see her expression!"  Nothing like pressure!

Jody had me close my eyes.  Then she put something into my hands.  I was afraid to open my eyes.  I felt the thing, but I had no idea what it was.  So I opened my eyes and looked:

It didn't register immediately and I felt a little panicked.  But they say it was literally only seconds. Finally it came to me - the image was me!  Jody had created and framed the image of God As My River Boat Guide, which I wrote about in my blog:

"Today God gave me the best gift of all.

I was in a quiet time of prayer.  I could feel that God was trying to speak to me, so I quieted my minds and asked what He would like to share.

The first thing that came was a word - GUIDE.  So I prayed to God, asking Him what this word meant.  At first I saw only the word, over and over.  That is how God communicates with me often, so I knew to wait.

Finally I saw an image of God on a wooden raft.  He stood on the raft with a long pole to steer or push like a river rafting guide.  I was sitting on the raft.  He was guiding us down the river.  There were rapids, and He guided us through the rough waters.  It was such a peaceful image.  I only had to sit on the raft.  He showed me that He alone is in charge of exactly where we were going.  No human or organization can control our direction.  He will keep me safe in dangerous times where the waters get rough.  He is my guide and the One who chooses my path, watching over me through it all.

I wish I were an artist.  I would love to paint the image of God as my river guide.  As crazy as it sounds, it is something I need to remember every day." - May 18, 2015

Jody gave those words to an artist and this is what he came up with.  The coolest part to me, was that he got it exactly right.  The first thing out of my mouth was "Colorado!"  I don't know why, of all things, I said that.

Jody said, "It was supposed to be Honduras.  But this is what he drew.  I was going to ask him to change it to trees and water that are typical of Honduras.  But I decided not to."

"No!" I told her.  "This is exactly where it is supposed to be.  The image God gave me was a specific place in Colorado."  But I had never written that in my blog.

The only difference between the image in the frame and the image in my mind was minuscule.  In my mind God was standing a foot more to his right.

I loved my gift!  It is one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever given me.  I will cherish it. It's bubbled wrapped, packed and ready to hang on my wall in Honduras.

God is my guide.

Quality Time

Last night, after barely making it into Denver, I spent the evening eating and talking with a friend from Salt Lake, who happened to be in Denver.  Since he was in Denver when I was in SLC, he agreed to stay some extra time and pick me up from the airport.  The evening slipped by quickly.  It was dark (9 p.m. in the US!) before I knew it.  We had a nice dinner and great conversation. I had a wonderful time getting to know someone who has been in my life for years, but whom I haven't had the chance to spend quality time with until last night.

(I barely made it to Denver because mine was one of very few planes that landed in Denver yesterday. There was a nasty thunderstorm.)

Today was spent reading and relaxing with my Mom.  She volunteered at the library while I read and caught up on sleep in the morning.  This afternoon we went to Walmart to stock up on vitamins and ibuprofen.  I can get ibuprofen in Honduras, but only in large doses.  I prefer the smaller pills.  Mom got some weights.  I am teaching her some exercises to do with the weights.

Tonight I took these photos from her balcony.

First the view to the right...

Then to the left

I've been missing my friend Jody, who was my hostess for the past week.  After staying with her, I have grown accustomed to talking with her several times throughout the day.  She had a long day today and we didn't get to communicate at all.  I've had to go cold turkey.

I've also missed Erika a lot today.  Can't wait to see her again!  I am getting homesick for Honduras. I'm trying to remind myself that it is healthy to have time apart and she is fine without me.  But I still miss her.  And Fany too.

Tomorrow morning I am serving at the food pantry with my Mom.  Then I have a piano lesson at 2 p.m. and dinner plans with a very special friend who helped open the restaurant in Denver in 1999.  It will be great to see him again.  We have had a special connection that just naturally happened since the first minute we met.  I remember when he walked into our hiring office.  I knew we had to hire him.  He is a now a sommelier, among other things. I haven't seen him since 2006. Yet I know it will be just like old times.  Can't wait to see him!

Phases of friendship

My lesson for today was of friends.

My first appointment was with a woman whom I don't know well, but who has always been kind and supportive.  She and I have never really sat and talked, so it was interesting to do so for the first time.  I felt good as I left, and look forward to building that friendship as God allows in the future.

My next meeting was with a couple who may not seem like people I would naturally tend to hang out with.  However, over the years, they have proved to be the most dependable, caring friends I could ever ask for.  When nobody else was there for me, they were.  Consistently.

We had a really nice talk, sometimes chatting about light, easy things.  At the same time, we were able to get down to some nitty gritty topics and dig deep.

I appreciate people like this in my life. They are people who care enough about me to bother to ask tough questions.  They have years of wisdom and experience to share.  I am grateful they are willing to take the time to offer their advice.  I basked in their knowledge.  I left feeling well cared for and blessed. They gave me creative new ideas and sturdy, sound suggestions to carry forward.

In the evening I was able to meet with someone I haven't seen in over 3 years, although it feels like much less.  We used to be co-workers when I lived in Salt Lake.  Our backgrounds are different, but we are kindred spirits.

She invited me for Ethiopian food at a restaurant her friends own, which was awesome because Ethiopian is my favorite food.  It is something I long for when I am in Honduras.

I appreciated the fact that, although we used to work together, we barely talked about that place.  We didn't need to lean on that mutual experience to bridge us back together.  We have both moved on to bigger and better things.  She is a woman who has not had an easy life but finally things seem to be falling into place.  She looked super, is overcoming physical problems that have been ruling her life for many years, and is turning to God about emotional stressors.  It was great to see her doing so well!

We shared some laughs and talked about our dreams for the future.  We are both in such great places now that our dreams seem much more within grasp and reasonable than they did when we last spent time together three years ago.  It was an exciting and uplifting reunion.

Today I give thanks for true, good friends.

Heading into Day 2 in SLC

Got to Salt Lake on Monday.  Monday night my friend Jody gave me one of the best gifts I have ever received in my life.  I will post a photo here, but I don't have a camera on this trip.  (I also lost my Kindle "en camino" on the way.)  In any case, it's a cool gift and you will appreciate it too because I have shared about it on my blog.

It was over 100 degrees for the past few weeks in SLC, but this week is supposed to be perfect weather.  I'm grateful because I have been a little surprised at the clothing styles I am seeing here in the US.  The fad seems to be short shorts and tiny dresses on women of all ages.  Guess I am turning into a prude.

A friend lent me his Jeep.  He kept describing it as old.  I love it!  I told him it would be perfect for Honduras.  Hahaha!

Yesterday I met with my friend Allan for lunch.  That was super nice and relaxing.  We had a few hours to sit around and catch up, talk about the past and future.  It was a perfect way to start my whirlwind tour of Salt Lake.

Then I headed straight to the dentist with onion breath from my salad.  Got a good cleaning and the doctor found nothing wrong with a tooth that was KILLING me for about 2 months.  He said maybe it just needed to be cleaned.  He donated toothbrushes and a big box of toothpaste, as well as a spin brush for some lucky person in Honduras.

My purse broke as I was leaving Denver, so I am now without a purse, trying to keep track of everything in my pockets.  Since I had a break between my prayer meeting and the dentist I went in search of a purse.  Apparently I am a picky purse buyer because I looked through hundreds and couldn't find any that I really liked.

I happened to be by Kohls, and since my watch died last week I figured Kohls was a good place to pick up a cheap watch.  Several people warned me the price of watches has gone up.  They were right!  No watch for me either.

My time of prayer with a lady who is a gifted healer was quick but great.  God gave me peace and advice about how to move forward.  In the prayer time He also spoke to me a lot about rivers, which you will see is extra awesome once I post the photo of the gift that Jody got me.  He is tying things together in a special way so I know His words are for me.

In the evening I was able to meet with my friend Kim and her kids.  Our time reinforced to me the honesty and sometimes braveness it takes to maintain a respectful friendship.  I appreciate the fact that we trust each other enough to address anything we need to talk about, knowing that it comes from a loving place.

Spent the rest of the night filling in every little gap of my schedule.  I was hesitant to pack it too tightly, thinking it would get stressful.  But there are so many people I'd like to see, that it's going to be back-to-back meetings until I leave on Tuesday.  I am blessed that so many people are willing to take the time to meet with me!

This morning I have a meeting with my home church, then lunch with my friend Arlene, who has been a long time supporter.  After lunch I am getting together with Kacy, who also has a heart for Honduras.  And dinner with be at my friend Kate's house with her husband and baby!

My general prayer every day is that the words which leave my mouth are of God, not of me.  And that His presence will shine through me in a way that is apparent to those with whom I am meeting.

Back in the USA

Today was a strange day.  I still haven't gotten a grasp on it yet.  Last night I itched all night.  I only have health insurance in Honduras, since that is where I live.  So I went to the Dr at 7 a.m.

They gave me another IV of prednizone and I was out of there within a half hour.  I really love this clinic and the doctors there.  They don't mess around.

I was dopey as I passed though the airport and onto the second flight.

As I landed in Denver I realized something I have never thought of before.  I was born to two residents of the US.  I can come and go from the US on a whim.

At the same time so many people risk their lives to be here.  Where I am.  Where I can come if I can pay for the airfare and where I am welcomed with open arms.

Tears came to my eyes as I thought of the five people I know who are currently risking their lives to be in the US.  I have two friends who were crossing the border into Mexico last week.  Two more friends arrived here illegally, one almost dead, last week.  And of course there is Fany's brother, who is being helped by immigration after he almost died in the desert in Texas.

I was born to one family.  The were born into another.  That is the only difference.

With all of the racial tension lately I have seen many posts about "white privilege".  Today my privilege really struck home.  I love Honduras and don't want to live anywhere else. It is a blessing that I can come and go from the US, legally, whenever I choose.  Until now it is something that I took for granted.  I will never take it for granted again.

Red welts

Two days ago Fany and I were outside talking in the garden.  A bird fell from its nest and Fany ran to grab it before Jetty could.  It wasn't able to fly yet. Its parents were none too please from the sounds of their squawking, but they didn't come down to rescue it.  We hauled out a ladder and debated where to leave the bird so that cats would be least likely to get to it.  Finally, Fany climbed the ladder with the bird in one hand and left it on the roof. Hondurans are very caring toward birds.  Even more than toward dogs or cats.  It's strange to me, but to them it is strange that I care so much about my cat.

Fany and I have been waiting and waiting for the few mangoes that grew this year to ripen.  We lost all of the avocados from both trees due to lack of rain.  The mango tree is hardly bearing fruit, so we have been "muy pendiente" (very aware and waiting).

Finally it's time!  Fany told me she was going to use the broomstick handle to knock them down and asked me to catch the mangoes before they hit the ground.  Without thinking I said sure.  I love harvesting things.  Especially after spending months watching them grow.

So we got about 7 mangoes from the tree.  I caught most of them in my arms like a football.  Luckily I was wearing a tee shirt, not a tank top.  The next morning I woke up with what looked like a compound fracture on my forearm.  It was swollen like crazy.  It also itched a lot.  I figured it was a spider bite.  Then there were two.  By evening I had a lot of red spots on my arms and even some welts and redness on my face.  The worst were my "compound fractures" and in the crease of my elbow.

I took all of my bedding off the bed (although there is no water to do laundry), thinking I had a flea infestation.  But the cat wasn't itching.

Mom told me I should go to a doctor.  That was when it hit me.  I have gone through exactly this 3 times before.  It was the mangoes!  Some spots on my neck and scalp itched.  It was just the same. After more itching than sleeping last night (and reminding myself to ALWAYS keep Benedryl on hand in the future!) I woke up at 5:30 a.m.  I called the doctor's office at 6 and found out they open at 7.

I continue to be impressed by the doctors at my clinic.  Yesterday Fany went to a public hospital.  It's one of the better public hospitals.  The doctor told her that the swelling in her hands and feet does not exist to anyone but Fany.  (And me, because I can see it.)  The doctor also asked if metal illness ran in the family and criticized Fany for a bunch of things.  I repeatedly hear horror stories about doctors in public facilities.  But my doctors are great.

I got to the building just before 7 a.m.  Three people were in line before me.  They were all instructed to go to the waiting room where I have gone for my stomach problems.  I was instructed to wait in a different room this time.  Just as I sat, my name was called.  They took my vitals and said they were going to put me on an IV drip of antihistamine and prednizone.  Sounded great to me!  She told me to avoid certain food because my defenses are very low right now, and I could go into anaphylactic shock.  Good to know not to eat pineapple because normally I start every day with a pineapple and celery smoothie.

Immediately after they started the IV, exhaustion hit.  I knew I shouldn't be driving, but I didn't have a choice.  Made it home in one piece.   Ran over the curb, even though I was going very slowly, right as I turned onto my own street.

Fell into bed exhausted and slept until noon.

My face has gotten worse, but my arms are better.  I am so grateful for good health care!  The whole experience cost $7.50 with my insurance, including everything - meds for this week and an IV.

I will look like a freak in the airport tomorrow, but my Mom will always love me.  Even with blotchy red welts on my face.  And maybe I'll get some extra space on the airplane because nobody will want to sit near someone who looks the way I do.

I've called everyone that I need to say good bye to.  All that's left to do is throw some clothes into a suitcase, which I will do as soon as I finish my final procrastination tactic - this blog.

I probably will not write much in July.  I have meetings morning, noon, and night with people the whole time I'm in the US.  It will be a very busy time away.  Not at all the definition of a vacation.  But I am eager to see my Mom and friends, so it will be good!

All checked in and ready to head out in the morning.  USA, here I come!  Red welts and all.

Dreams

Lately my dreams have been strangely real, in the manner that when I wake up in the morning they seem to apply to my real life.

Last night I had two simple dreams.  In the first I was seated in a classroom.  A woman was in front, taking a photo of the people in the class.  I was toward the front.  About 6 people were scattered behind me.

Before taking the photo, the woman told me (this is strange, but it will make sense in a minute) to flip all of my hair forward, and then let it fall back again, to kind of fluff up my hair so it would look nice in the photo.  I tipped my head forward and all of my hair fell over my face.  Right at that instant she took the photo.

I was so frustrated!  She had asked me to move my hair, but then waited until my face was covered to take the picture.  She refused to take another.  Everyone else would look normal.  I would be seated in the front, a faceless person, covered in hair.

The next dream was about being with a group of friends I haven't see in a long time.  We were talking and catching up.  But every time I had something to say, someone spoke over me.  Every single time! So frustrating.  Nobody heard a word I said.

Before church this morning I was sharing with one of the dancers about my frustrating dreams.  She said, "It sounds like you are feeling unseen and unheard."  Hmmm...  That  is exactly how I felt in the dreams, and exactly the way I am feeling recently in real life.

Two nights ago I had a really productive dream.  In real life I have felt angry toward someone.  I have been trying to forgive the person, but I am still too angry.  Although I am fully aware that my anger only hurts me, I have not been ready to pardon the person and ask God to bless them.

I dreamed the person came to me and apologized for part, but not all of what happened.  In real life when the person hurt me, I was strong and walked away with my head high.  But in the dream I felt all of the hurt that I had pushed aside.  In the dream I cried and felt all of the hurt I didn't allow myself to feel in real life.  After the person finished apologizing for a part of what they had done, all of that hurt was gone.  When I woke up it was still gone.  I hoped it would last.  It did! Today I am no longer angry and was able to pardon and bless that person.

Never thought that would happen through a dream, but I am grateful it did!

Today I visited a church in Los Pinos to watch the girls we taught all week perform there.  It is a great church with a super nice pastor, but the whole time I was missing MY church.  I love my church.  I love the people.  The leaders are incredible.  And the presence of the Holy Spirit is so strong there.  I fully enjoyed attending the church in Los Pinos. It's a great church! But it is not MY church.  And that is fine.

Pooping Spiders

Can someone please explain to me why my cat always gets horrible asthma a week before I leave the country?  When I lived up in the mountains she had asthma off and on, but it always got worse right before I went to the US.  Now, down in the city, she hasn't had any problems.  Except the week before I went to the US for Christmas and now.  She is wheezing away and has been like this all day.  I hate having to leave when she is in this state.  Fany said maybe she can sense that I am leaving.  Fany takes good care of her as far as feeding her and cleaning up after her, but Hondurans are just not cat people.  Except Samuel.

Today was a big wedding for people from my church.  I was invited, but unable to attend because it was the last night with the dancing ladies. I noticed something funny about Honduran weddings.  When people talk about the wedding, the big thing they talk about is the food.  In the US when we go to a wedding we don't really think about the food ahead of time.  Unless you have to choose fish or steak.  Then you might give it a quick thought.  But you would never say, "Yes.  I was invited to the wedding.  Can't wait to eat!"  As this week went by I heard that several times.  Another Honduran factoid for you.

Last night the water came for the first time all week.  Unfortunately it never made it up to our house.  When I got home from the gym today I asked Fany if she heard the water come last night.  She said there were some drips at 5 a.m.  I said, "So I can wash my clothes now?"  She looked at me in silence.  Then she said, "Not if you want to shower."  I chose a shower over clean clothes.  Especially since I was just returning from the gym.

Molly let me do a load of wash at her house.  (She gets water every 3 days!)  Then we went out to dinner.  I have been saving my money for over a month.  We went out for sushi to celebrate our last night with the dancers.  It ended up only costing $15 per person.  We ordered a sushi boat!  I had never had a boat before.  It was quite exciting.

We talked about the difference between the Honduran kids in dance classes and kids in the US.  The teachers said kids in the US aren't as eager to work.  Here the kids ask for extra one-on-one help and never want to stop.  They even seem to enjoy learning the basic fundamentals, which are not always so fun.  We were happy to see how much the kids of Los Pinos appreciated the classes and took advantage of the opportunity to learn.

Tomorrow we will go to the church early and help the girls prepare to dance.  Then off to the airport to drop of the teachers.  We are excited to do this again next year.  Dancing is great for the kids of Los Pinos.

This morning I made a post on FB to set up times to meet with people while I'm in Salt Lake.  Right now I have ONE open slot.  Everything else is booked, morning, afternoon, and evening for eight days.  Crazy!  I am going to leave SLC exhausted but full of love from all my buddies there.  As I always say, if I were ever live in the US again, Salt Lake is my home.

Two general observations:
1)You know your tooth is messed up when it hurts to eat a room temperature cucumber.  (I have a feeling my dentist appointment in SLC is going to be an expensive one.)
2) Yesterday morning the second I walked out the door, a bird pooped on my arm.  Splat.  This morning I was brushing my teeth when I noticed that spiders are living under my medicine cabinet and their poop is falling down onto my toothbrush!  Let me tell you, these spiders poop a LOT.  I am hoping the poop theme will not continue tomorrow.

The Power of Dance

Thanks to those who prayed about my passport!

This morning I had to go pick up my renewed passport.  The news said that anyone outside of the US who applied for a passport on June 9th or after would not get their passport.  The computer system was hacked and they reportedly stopped processing passports in any country outside of the US on June 9th.  Guess what day I applied for my passport?  June 9th.

I thought about alternative plans.  I could get into the US with my passport, so I could leave for my vacation next week.  But afterward I wouldn't be able to get back into Honduras.  To enter Honduras with a US passport, the passport must be more than 6 months from the expiration date.  My passport was good until September.

Thankfully, everything went well.  When it was my turn the lady went to the back and returned with an envelope. My passport was inside. Yay!

After leaving the US Embassy I went to Los Pinos for the last day of dance VBS.  It was strange because even with my passport in hand, I still felt really anxious.  It was like I drank 5 cups of coffee.

I missed the morning class.  They said it went well.  Goodbyes were tearful.  The girls in the afternoon all came, along with some of the younger kids who came earlier in the week.  One student was totally new.  It was a boy.  My favorite thing about this week was watching the kids who really LOVE to dance.  He was one.  He just let loose.  He didn't seem self conscious or uncomfortable being the only boy.  He just danced!

Dancing brings a kind of joy that I don't see in the kids at any other time.  Some of them just love to dance. They seem to forget about the world around them and think only of the freedom they feel when they dance.  It is absolutely beautiful to watch.

I am grateful that we were able to host this dance VBS and especially grateful for the dancers who paid their own money to come and teach the kids.  We hope this will be an annual event.

On Sunday the kids will dance at the church in Los Pinos.  The Pastor is a really special man. Churches in Honduras can be very territorial.  Pastor Nikolas is a one of a kind.  He is grateful that we want to serve in his neighborhood.  He allows Molly and me use the church whenever we need a safe place to meet.

I am excited to present the dance to his congregation on Sunday.  I hope it will be a blessing to them.  We also made a beautiful banner to leave with the church as a thank you gift.

Rooted in Love ♥

Today I was hoping to make it to the gym.  I talked to Molly about leaving early, but for some reason I didn't feel comfortable leaving.  Now I know why.  As I said I was feeling anxious.  I kept trying to pinpoint what was bothering me, but I couldn't figure it out.  My passport was in hand, the week of dancing and VBS was over.  It was a great success.  And yet, I couldn't relax and enjoy.

Finally I decided to head for home.  First I noticed a ton of people were walking toward me on both sides of the road, but there was no car traffic.  That seemed strange.  Then traffic backed up.  It was sudden, but not unusual.  I noticed one car turn around instead of waiting in the line in front of me.  Then everyone started turning around.  I could see police lights but couldn't tell what was going on until some buses and tractor trailers did three point turns and headed back.  There was a crowd in the street and only 2 cars in front of me.  Some of the police were wearing masks.

I was so close to home, I didn't want to turn back.  There is a way to go around, but it is about 6 miles longer and would have tons of traffic.  I decided to be stubborn.  If I had to wait for a while, it could still be better than driving back and around the long way.

Just then the police opened a hole in the crowd and waved through the two cars in front of me so I followed them through.  People were everywhere, but the crowd was calm and parted for us to pass.  First I saw one car that was really smashed up.  I thought that was horrible, but what I saw over the next half mile or so was shocking.

Fany called me to tell me not to go that way just as I made it through.  She said a tractor trailer lost its brakes and came down the hill, taking out all of the cars in front of it until it ran into a cement home.  It was carrying something flammable, she said.  I had seen cars that were almost flattened and the tractor trailer jack-knifed into the house.  A news anchor stood next to my car as I drove through the crowd.  Turned out she was the same one Fany was watching on TV. 

When I got home Fany invited me in.  They were watching the news.  Depending on which channel, the news reported between 2-7 people were killed, more than 15 injured.

I started doing the math.  There were about 20 cars in front of me when I got to that spot.  The rest were taken out by the tractor trailer.  If I had come down that hill five minutes earlier, I could have been one of them.

As crazy as it sounds, afterward my unease went away.  All of the unexplained anxiety I felt all day was gone.  I was not one of those people.  I could have left five minutes earlier.  But I was home, safe, watching the horrible scene on tv.

Fany called her family who would be on that road, some coming home from school and some going to work.  Everyone was accounted for and safe.

Sunday after the kids perform at the church, the team will go to the airport and our week of hosting will be over.  We, the adults, were just  as blessed as the children we served.  I can't wait to see the kids of Los Pinos so free and happy again.  This week their smiles were brighter.  Their whole demeanor felt lighter.  This week I learned that dance can be magical.  This week I saw God use the medium of dance to empower and bring immense joy to kids I love in Los Pinos.  It was beautiful.