Another day at the park

Today was a funny day. Everything turned out much differently than I planned.

This morning I did a bible study, then Santos came over to fix a shelf that fell down a year ago, but I never told anyone. I had this whole scheme in mind of how to fix it. I thought he was going to have to buy stuff to hold it up. Actually he just propped a piece of metal back into place. Why didn't I ask a year ago?

I told Fany that I was spending the day with Erika, but I couldn't think of anything for us to do. After groaning about my own indecisiveness a few times, I decided that we could walk over to the next neighborhood and buy an avocado, then come home and make baleadas. Then we could stop in at my favorite used clothing store because I only have 3 blouses to wear to the office. Now that I am spending more time at the office, I need more than 3 blouses in my rotation.

Fany said she has clothes her Aunt sent from the US. Her Aunt sends big boxes of clothes that she buys by the pound and Fany sells them here. I didn't expect there to be much, but Fany pulled out shirt after shirt. There were 5 shirts I like. One has a hole so she gave it to me for free. The other four were supposed to cost $5 each, but she only charged me $4. I was totally happy to have new shirts to wear to the office (it is VERY formal attire), but that kind of ruined my plan with Erika.

When I called Erika to say that I would pass by a half hour later than planned she mentioned that the boys weren't home yet. I just assumed that she knows I love to see them. She said it would be perfect for me to come a half hour late, because then the boys would be back. Normally I ask her what she wants to do. She always tells me that she doesn't care. Today I didn't bother to ask. I figured we could brainstorm together.

As I pulled up to the house, or rather the road across the valley from the house, it was strange because nobody was around. Normally there are lots of kids around and Erika is waiting, looking for my truck. I turned the car around and parked. Marjory peeked out the door, but nobody came. Since there were no people nearby, I decided to take some photos.

Erika's house is in the top middle of the photo. You can see the ravine that I hope her house never falls into each time the heavy rains come.

The kids snuck up from behind while I wasn't looking. Lorenzo, Carlos and Junior, as well as their buddy Jose, were all outside the car, yanking on the door handles trying to get in. I was monkeying with my phone and it took me a minute to unlock the doors so they started banging on the windows. I thought they just wanted say hello, which they always do. But as soon as the doors were unlocked everyone crawled in, latched up their seat belts and sat still and straight as soldiers. (Which is a miracle, because NOBODY here uses seat belts.)

It was then I realized they all were freshly bathed, with wet hair, dressed in their best clothes. And everyone had a flour for me! Lorenzo brought a rose. Clearly they were expecting to go somewhere.

Erika climbed in and I asked if they would prefer to go to a playland or the new park. I didn't want to spend the money on eating at a playland, but I also thought the sun was awfully strong to go to a park. The boys chose the park, which turned out to be great!

Lorenzo asked permission to remain in the front seat. Since he is now 11 years old, and the back seat was full, I told him sure. He is still too little for a seat belt. It was choking him. I showed him how to put it behind his back. All of the kids were so, so wonderfully behaved. I told them over and over how great they were.

Erika said she is presenting Marjory to the church in two weeks. Before she had a chance to invite me I asked if I could go. She laughed and said she told her mother she hoped I would come.

Since I was not prepared to go to the park, I told the boys I needed to get the flowers into a cup of water so they wouldn't die. We went to my house where we picked up Fany and Laura, as well as my camera and some umbrellas for shade.

The boys had never been to my house before. They were amazed by how I snapped ice cubes out of the ice cube tray. When I filled the tray with water they watched carefully until Lorenzo told them that I was making more ice cubes.

They were shocked at the bag of cat food. They said, "That's a lot of food!" As I was thinking about it later, I realized that my cat probably has more food in the house than they have for all of the people in their house. Realizations like that make living in Honduras strange.

Junior got car sick from the five minute ride to the park. Poor baby held it in until we arrived, then puked as I was spraying everyone down with sunblock.

It was so nice watching the boys be free and have fun. Going to a park where they can play safely is a big deal for them.

At first they were eager to race from one thing to the next, but when I told them we have hours to play they settled in.

Lorenzo is still not growing. I would like to know why. Erika said they told her mother that he is unable to absorb nutrients, but Erika doesn't know why. I wonder if anything can be done. All the rest of his family is a healthy weight and height. Poor Lorenzo is so small. Only his face is maturing.

When it came time to leave I told them they had five more minutes to play. I sat down with Erika and we packed everything up. As soon as I stood, all three of them came running over and hopped in the car with no complaints. Such sweet, well-behaved boys. I love them!

Not sure what kind of gun this is
But yes, there are armed military keeping the park safe

Laura

Fany and I found some shade

Lorenzo

Junior

Carlos

Junior

Erika with Carlos and me

Carlos is the KING OF THE WORLD!

So many great smiles!

I taught Laura hopscotch on the tiles of her kitchen floor

Marjory

Lorenzo

Teaching women to write

Today is my Mom's birthday! Happy Birthday Mom. I love you sooooo much!

Yesterday I got to bring a woman to church with me who is in hiding with a missionary friend of mine. She and her kids were being abused by her husband, so my friend and her ministry helped her escape while I was in the US. My missionary friend was looking for someone to take them to a Spanish speaking church this week and thought of me.

We had a great time! It was so nice to see her get lost in worship. Her kids really enjoyed the kids' classes. I hope they choose to go back next week. They seemed like super nice people.

Pastora Ruth

This morning I was happy to see most of my co-workers again! Some are still on vacation. The room was still only 2/3rds full at our time of devotion. After the devotional my team had a meeting to discuss the year to come.

We will be serving in Los Pinos!

The cool thing about the way we are entering Los Pinos is that ALL of the different sections of my organization are going in together. We'll serve another 50 kids in Los Pinos, as well as their families. But we are going to do even more than work with the teens and families! People from our Transform Honduras team, as well as The Peace and Justice Alliance team, will go into Los Pinos schools, health centers, and the police force.

I believe they are going to find that the police presence in Los Pinos is nowhere near as prevalent as the other areas we serve. We are getting more police headquarters in other neighborhoods. I think Los Pinos needs about four new police posts.

In the middle of the meeting one of my coworkers told my boss that the mothers she works with would like to learn to write. Another coworker chimed in saying there are mothers on her caseload who can't write and are struggling to help their kids with homework.

You may have read about my boss being a woman of action. As my coworkers spoke, she kept looking at me. When they finished she asked if I would be interested in teaching the mothers we serve to write. I said sure!

In my mind I thought - Thank God Spanish is phonetic!! I was imagining myself Googling "How to write in Spanish" when my boss said, "We will sign you up for classes this week so you can learn how to teach writing."

Yes! Classes sound great! Professional development will help me be a good, confident writing teacher for the women in our project.

So, I now have my first new assignment of the year. (Besides cleaning out the closets and filing cabinets last week.) I am going to be a teacher to women who don't know how to write!

A few days ago a friend told me she thinks God is showing me favor. I must agree.

A day at the park

I am realizing that my knuckles hurt much more when I type. Looking back over 2015, I have 188 blog entries! That comes out to one entry every 2 days. I love that I am being consistent but, for the sake of my knuckles, I am going to have to cut back.

Yesterday evening I went to our weekly intercession. Suddenly we heard crazy noises outside. The streets were full of police and people marching with torches. They were chanting that they want the president taken out of office. It shut down the street for a while so we couldn't leave. It was a peaceful protest, but I felt better watching from up on the third floor.

My boss gave me the day off yesterday since everyone else was on vacation. I picked up Ana and her family and we went to a new park by my house. It's so nice! There are military men at the gate who check what you are bringing in. Then there are a bunch of people in special vests who are stationed around the park to be sure the kids are safe.

Normally the park is so packed that it's not safe. But yesterday we had a few hours when there was only one other family around. It was a fun day for everyone. Even Samuel, who is recovering from chicken pox.

Love their faces

Future gymnast

Brothers

Samuel is tired after a day in the park

I have a new ID!

This morning I headed out to clean closets and file cabinets again. Almost finished. They were surprisingly organized and tidy considering how many people work there.

It wasn't just my boss and me today. One of my co-workers has now come back from vacation. It was great to see her. She is a psychologist. Helping her is going to be one of the many things my boss is asking me to do. I like what she does, and I like her, so I look forward to working more closely with her.

I also have some reading to do regarding the rehabilitation of sex offenders and victims of sexual abuse from a Christian basis. My boss gave me this material because she would like me to accompany her into prisons to work with sex offenders in the future.

I became even more official today at work. I got my photo ID! Because of the necessity for tight security, the doors can only be unlocked with chips from our ID cards. Until today, I had to wait for someone else to come along in order to pass from office to office.

The guy in charge of configuring the ID cards called my boss and asked what type of ID I should have. She told him that I will be with the organization indefinitely, so...  A good one!

Since I was cleaning closets, I hadn't fixed my hair or anything. Luckily, the man who is in charge of IDs is a perfectionist. He photoshopped my picture. I couldn't believe the difference!

Before and After

After work I had my 6 month dental cleaning. It was discounted for the month of January from $30 to $25 so I jumped on that deal. I am so blessed to have a good dentist in Honduras. Good dentists here seem to be few and far between

This evening Laura and I made soup in the Crock Pot her mom gave me. Since Laura was able to walk she has loved to cook. Today was mostly about chopping veggies so her job was to pass me stuff. We made a tomato bean soup with sausage and lots of veggies.

Erika is sick with the same cold bug that Marjory had. She said she is going to the Dr. tomorrow, but I am sure it's just a bug that everyone else has. I encouraged her to tell Lorenzo he can return to the breakfast program if he would like to. The reason he wasn't attending the program has now been resolved. He may still choose to go to the other place because he's always liked it there, but he's such a tiny little guy, Seems like the only thing that's growing on him are his teeth. I would love for him to have lots of options for nutrition.

My boss told me to take tomorrow off, so I am going to spend the day with Ana and her family. Not sure what we'll do yet, but I know it will be fun!

Got to video chat with my Mom tonight. I love being able to see her when we talk!

Pizza and Painting Nails

Today was my day with Erika. I cleaned the house this morning, then took a long shower and was feeling great. I now know why God never gave me kids. I am not used to having everyone in and out, spitting pepperoni on the floor and unloading my bookcase all over the kitchen. I had to clean the house all over again as soon as I dropped them off. I'm a little overly concerned about cleanliness.

Erika is doing well. She will temporarily move back in with her parents when her due date is closer. The path to the house where she's living now is so steep and rutted, no car can pass. It is too far from the road for her to walk with contractions.

Erika's boyfriend has already paid a taxi driver to take Erika to the hospital if she goes into labor at night. If the baby comes during the day, they'll call yours truly. Erika's Mom will stay with Marjory and her Father will ride with her to the hospital.

Erika can't bring anything with her when she goes to the hospital. Fany says they will strip her down, put her in a hospital gown, and hand over everything to her father, including jewelry, clothes and even hair bands. The nurses will provide a towel to wrap the baby in, as well at the first diapers. They may also provide ibuprofen for Erika, if they have any. Public hospitals have a serious lack of medications.

I warned Erika that I may be very anxious because I have never been around a woman who is in labor. She just laughed.

We made homemade pizza and painted our nails. We also made lists of things she needs before the baby comes.

Marjory is getting big! Long gone are the days when we could set her on the bed and she'd sleep. She ran around all afternoon. We read books and played outside. Her personality is so much like her Uncle Lorenzo, it cracks me up. Erika is going to have her hands full.

When I picked Erika up at she was at her mother's house. I had barely turned the car around before I was surrounded by Lorenzo, Carlos and Junior. They smothered me with hugs and asked when we can do something together. I told them some friends of mine will be at the breakfast program next week, so I hope they enjoy the visitors. Lorenzo said he hasn't attended the breakfast program in months, but Carlos and Junior will be there. Years ago Lorenzo told me about another church that has a program for kids which is similar to the breakfast program. He prefers to go there.

People broke into her parents' house before Christmas. They were armed with big guns. Erika spoke about it quietly with all of the windows in the car rolled up. They haven't dared tell a soul. I can't even write about the details here. I never cease to be shocked when the people I care about survive circumstances that I can't begin to comprehend. So, so sad.

Carlos

Junior

Lorenzo

Cleaning Closets

Erika called me "collect" this morning but somehow I didn't hear it. By the time I noticed she had called again. I was worried because yesterday she couldn't go to the market with me because Marjory had a fever. The last time Marjory had a fever she went into convulsions and stopped breathing. Erika assured me that Marjory's fever was slight and she had the suppositories the doctor prescribed last time handy in case the fever got out of control.

When I called back Erika said everything was fine. She was happy and relaxed. She said she took Marjory to the doctor this morning. The doctor prescribed a pain reliever, but said there is no infection. I was pleasantly shocked. Every doctor I know prescribes antibiotics if you come in with a drippy nose, a cold or fever. The people here think you need to take an antibiotic every time you don't feel good. It drives me nuts! I assured Erika that she must have seen a very good doctor because if there is no infection Marjory should not be given antibiotics. Erika said Marjory was already doing better, with just one dose of pain reliever.

This morning I sent out some emails and studied the bible. Then I went in to work. My boss asked me to come and clean out the closets, drawers and filing cabinets. I didn't get much done today, but I have a good start on it and have a system now. It should go faster tomorrow. Since nobody else is there but my boss and I, we got another chance to talk.

She asked what I would like to do, if I would like to run my own club of 25 teens and their families. I said sure, if that is what they need. She wasn't too sure. She is interviewing people tomorrow and hoping to have some more people start by next week. Depending on who she brings on board with us, she may need me to run a club.

She also asked if I know about Aspergers (I do) and what other experience I have. I told her about working in wilderness therapy and at the lockdown facility for sex offenders. She would like me to educate my co-workers in healthier eating and exercise. We may also do a class in women's self defense. She said she can use my experience in foster care with a new project that just came up.

Everything I mentioned about my past work experience excited her. She told me I am a real treasure to them because of all of the different ways I can help. She wants me to let them know what I am most passionate about because she believes everyone works better when they are doing what they love.

Right now I will focus on helping one specific co-worker and the psychologists. The other projects are still in the works.

Tonight Fany and I started arranging a bedroom for Laura. There has always been space, but Fany prefers to let Laura sleep with her. Fany has pink paint ready to go on the walls of the extra room tomorrow. She moved all of Laura's toys in there already. Laura seems psyched. It will be a harder transition for Fany than for Laura, I think.

A month from today Laura will start school! Laura has been ready for school since she was 2 & 1/2 years old. For Fany, it is all happening too soon.

Tomorrow Erika and I are spending the day together. I planned to help Fany paint the inside of her house because she helped me paint mine before I moved in. But Fany wants to paint tomorrow and I already have plans with Erika. Fany and I both think since Erika's pregnant she shouldn't be around paint fumes.

Thursday I will go back to the office to finish cleaning and organizing. I am enjoying the one-on-one time with my boss. Normally she is so busy I don't want to bug her. It's nice to be able to chat a little and get to know each other.

New Year, New Opportunities

Today was my first day back at the office. It wasn't what I expected. Everyone else is still on vacation. But my boss was there. She greeted me with a big hug and kind words.

We had our Monday devotional with only about a dozen people. It was still great. Afterward I met with my jefa (boss) and she asked if I have much free time. I told her sure! She said that she has some more opportunities she would like me to be involved in this year.

First she said that one of my co-workers has a very heavy caseload and she wants me to take some of the burden. The she explained that she would like me to know every part of our program. We are duplicating it in other cities, so she needs me to know it inside and out. I think that may mean that I will travel to other places to help replicate the program in the future.

Lastly she said that I will be working with another program within the association. They are more on the justice side of things, working to better the education system and fighting corruption in the healthcare system of Honduras. I am not sure what she has in mind for me in those areas, but I am excited! It looks like 2016 may bring even more new experiences and I welcome every one.

Erika has been great about staying in touch with me. She called four times while I was in the US! Then she called several times on New Years Eve, right through midnight. I love the relationship we have built over the past 10 months. There are still things we need to work on, but we are both willing to put in the effort. I appreciate that Erika totally pulls her weight and does her part to keep our relationship going.

When I first started out in this adventure of walking through life with Erika, I feared it could be one sided, or that she would only call when she needs something. The fact that she calls to say hello when I am in the US, and to wish me a happy New Year means more than I can put into words. She is a very special girl.

I could focus on the things I wish she had done differently. I certainly wish she had not gotten pregnant again so soon. (I just learned she is due in February and it's a boy.) Instead of focusing on the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens I will praise God for what IS.

I thank God for showing Erika how to be a good mother to Marjory. I praise Him for bringing her closer to Him through her "in-laws" (that's what many Honduran people call their significant others' parents), and I give thanks for the church she loves, where she feels comfortable and receives a lot of support. Last year when I gave Erika that bible for her birthday I never imagined she would be using it so regularly and so soon. Yay God!

Yesterday at my church we got some news that was hard to hear. The building we rent is being sold. We have to be out by January 27th. We don't know where we are going to go and our finances are scarce. Many, many people within my church are educated but simply can't find jobs. A lot volunteer, like the people I serve with at my "job". So they are busy, but without an income.

At first I was really upset at the thought of changing locations. We have put a lot of work into making this space special. We just got the altar built a couple of months ago. Then I looked around and everyone else was so positive! I reminded myself WE are the church. It doesn't matter where we meet. The important thing is that we meet. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be my church. As I looked around I realized that every single person in the room is really incredible in their own way. Each of them brings so much to our church body. I know I say this a lot, but I really love the church where God has placed me. It is home to me. Where ever we end up, we will be fine. We are
choosing to see the situation as a new opportunity.

Coming Home

I noticed something really cool over the past month.

Normally the transition from Honduras to the US can be tough. Searching for the right words in the right language, being away from home, missing out on things that I wish I could be part of back in Honduras, making quality time with people I rarely see, trying to raise money, bouncing from house to house, changing climates and cultures - all of it can be mentally and physically exhausting.

While I am very aware it's a huge blessing, sometimes the exhaustion factor of travel feels overwhelming.

However, this trip was different. For the first time, I slid fairly easily into life in North America. I wasn't tripping over my words as much as usual. Walking into a grocery store didn't give me sensory overload. People talking loudly and dressing differently didn't feel as off-putting as it has been in the past. The transition was pretty easy!

The smoother transition allowed me to relax and enjoy my trip much more than in the past.

But then I thought, since the transition to the US was easy, did that mean it would be hard to go back to Honduras?

After five days in Honduras, I am happy to say no! I am thrilled to be back!

For the first time, I was able to enjoy the best of both worlds. My trip to the US was wonderful, yet I couldn't be happier to be back home.

It hit me first on New Year's Eve when I had such a wonderful day with Fany and her family. Then it was confirmed when we made cuajada cheese and homemade bread, and reconfirmed at the barbeque last night (which was super fun!). Walking into church today was my final confirmation that yes, I am sooooo happy to be back in Honduras! The message was a blessing, I missed my people and they missed me.

It has taken four years, but I hope that in the future if I have the opportunity to travel to the US, it will continue to be as stress free and comfortable as it was this trip. If not, I am grateful for this trip and the way God reminded me how much I love coming back home to Honduras.

New Year 2016

On New Years Eve day, Santos called from outside saying I was invited to a barbeque. He had a ton of corn he wanted to roast.

While Fany made tamalitos (little tamales made with ground up corn, milk, and a splash of sugar - most people add lard, but not Fany) inside the house, Santos put plastic bags and a huge log onto the grill. I asked about paper and he said he would get some gasoline. I asked about the toxicity of the fumes from the plastic bags and he said he needed them to get the log burning. He suggested he get some left over oil he'd taken out of his truck. I suggested leaves from the ground.

Everything was lying flat in the little grill, so it took some work, but eventually, with help from a fan, and some re-arranging the wood, we got the fire going. Santos showed up with one more log as we were ready to cook. As I was putting it on the fire he said, "Watch out!" and held up the bucket of oil he had soaked the end of the log in.

This gives a new meaning to "fanning the flames"

I went inside at that point and helped Fany with the tamales.

Corn husks to fill with the ground corn mixture

Corn kernels

After a late breakfast of roasted corn, which was more scorched than roasted, we had a lunch of tamales. Then Fany sent Santos to the store to buy a chicken. She whipped up the most amazing dinner.

Fany's friend Cynthia came over. All of the ladies (and Laura) got dressed up for dinner. We tried on a bunch of different outfits, traded clothes, put on makeup and did each other's hair. Then we sat down to a delicious dinner.

Roasted chicken with stuffing

The ladies

At 9 p.m. we drove to Santos' family's village, which is about 45 minutes outside of the city. It has a church and a one room school. Everyone knows everyone.

Yes, it gets cold in Honduras

There we rang in the New Year, walking through the village, warming up inside the church, and finally all falling asleep around 2 a.m. in the room where Fany and her family live when they are at her in-laws'. Fany stayed up all night poking Santos if he snored. She woke me up at 6 a.m. to ask if I had slept (I had). Once she realized we were all comfortable and sleeping well she fell asleep and we all woke up at 9 a.m. to start the new year.

Neighbors were using Santos' family's clay oven to make bread. I watched for a while and chatted with the ladies. Then Santos' Mom asked if I would like some cuajada. Cuajada is my favorite kind of cheese. Santos' Mom frequently sends Fany home with cuajada for me because she knows I love it. So I asked if I could go see where it was made.

Turned out the lady who makes the cuajada was gone for the day, so Santos' Mom and I made the cheese ourselves!

We made 8 little one pound loaf shaped cheeses. Then we toasted tortillas until they were almost crunchy and had a nice lunch with left over chicken from the night before.

Straining the cheese
(it was windy)

Patting it into a loaf

I rang in the new year with good friends and lots of good food. It was a memorable one and a good start to 2016.

Back in Honduras

Fany was standing outside the door at the airport, waiting for me. I almost didn't see her because they came to pick me up in the car her husband has been working on for about 6 months. It's finally ready! She was standing right in front of me and I looked over her head, searching for my car, until she reached out and grabbed me.

I almost missed my flight from Denver to Miami last night. The line at security was horrible. Like, an hour and 45 minutes long, horrible. People around me stood in line as their boarding time came and passed, then their flight departed, and they still hadn't made it through security. Hundreds and hundreds of people went nowhere due to lack of TSA staff.

I made it to the gate 8 minutes after my flight was first due to leave, but I had learned as I got in the car to go to the airport that my flight was a half hour late. I was one of the few people in that line who actually caught my flight, only because my flight was postponed.

Looking back, I can't pick out one specific best moment from my trip. I loved seeing my friends in Chicago for the first time in 20 years. Skiing with my nephews for the first time was awesome! Serving at the food pantry with my Mom was fun. Watching the snow fall and sledding at my brother's house was perfect. My friend Jody set up a surprise that was very special in Salt Lake. I had a great time at my favorite Indian restaurant in Salt Lake with friends and Ethiopian food with Mom in Denver. Yes, Ethiopian food with Mom was definitely a highlight. The food was the best Ethiopian I've ever had, the place was super cute, and it was a nice, quiet, relaxing time with Mom.

After spending this afternoon unpacking and settling in, it's finally sinking in that I am back in Honduras. This visit was the longest I've spent in the US. I got used to speaking English and flushing my TP. I am really happy to be back home, but I'd love one more hug with my Mom or one more snuggle with Jack.

Tomorrow I'll get back into the swing of things, but for today I am still holding on to special moments with family and friends in the US.

Preparing for goodbyes

Last week turned into a blur. After skiing with Jack on Monday I came home with a nasty sore throat. Tuesday and Wednesday I did nothing but sleep. On Christmas Eve I felt well enough to get out of bed and wrap presents. By Christmas Day I was almost back to normal.

We had a wonderful Christmas. The kids opened presents. My brother and I watched the very last Grateful Dead show, which he received as a Christmas gift. He did a bunch of updates on my computer. Then we had a dinner of ham and turkey. For the first time in my life, I really enjoyed ham. Jack is not normally a huge eater, but he had four servings!

I spent Christmas night with my brother and his family. The adults stayed up late, talking and watching a movie. Saturday we went to see Star Wars in 3D at an Imax. Normally I would not care about seeing Star Wars, but the boys were really excited so that made it fun. Mom was sure it would give them nightmares, but they seemed fine.

When we got home from seeing Star Wars Mom learned that her close friend, who recently had a stroke, was back in the hospital after suffering seizures while she was alone in her apartment. Mom took in her friend's dog for the rest of the day, while I went to visit the Rice's for the afternoon.

Today is Sunday. One more night in the US, and then I head back to Honduras. I always get a little (okay, more than a little) anxious at this point. It's hard for me to fully enjoy the last few days with goodbyes looming in the future.

Constantly saying goodbye is probably the hardest part of being a missionary. Sometime it feels like my life is a series of goodbyes. Teams come to visit. At first they are strangers. But after serving together, a bond develops that is not possible to create under other circumstances. Then they leave. In the beginning you message each other. Time passes, memories fade, and soon you struggle to picture the face of someone who once was so close.

Missionaries who worked side by side with you for months, or years, are called back the the US. Despite good intentions, we will probably never see each other again. The missionary field can be a transient place.

When it comes to family, goodbyes are even harder. Visits to the US are bitter sweet. Don't get me wrong. Each visit is a huge blessing and not something I take for granted. But the process is not easy. First there are the goodbyes to my home in Honduras. Leaving behind the people and the life I love, missing holidays with the people who share my everyday life, is not easy. I worry about many of them when I am gone. I miss my friends and my church. A lot.

This is not a complaint. Just sharing some feelings and insight into the life of a missionary.

Visits to the US are wonderful, but saying goodbye to family is the worst. Knowing I will miss milestones, or just the day-to-day stuff in my nephews' lives hurts. Seeing photos on Facebook is not the same. Knowing my Mom (though she is healthy and strong, PRAISE GOD) will not be around forever makes each goodbye more difficult.

I even think about the fact that I will not be the same person the next time my family sees me. Those changes become more obvious the longer we are apart.

Visits to the US are a gift, wrapped with a bow of goodbyes. Each person I am blessed to see is also another goodbye. I spend the last days of my time in the US dreading those final goodbyes.

I try hard to focus on the fact that we are blessed to spend this time together. Before I became a missionary, my family and I didn't get this much quality time together. So it really is an exceptional gift.

I just hate saying goodbye.

Seeing Mr. Meyers

Wednesday we skied with Joey:

He started out in tethers with Bob

But after a good lunch

He refused to ski with the tethers. So we forced him to learn how to slow down.

Then this happened...

Hahaha! That still cracks me up! But it's a part of skiing.

We all came home tired. Joey skied until they closed the mountain. Jack had school, so he couldn't go. But he came down to Nonny's house to play Uno with me that night.

Yesterday I helped Mom at the food pantry for her church. We didn't have many visitors, but we had a good time with the people we did serve. Everyone got a huge bag of food to make a turkey dinner. About half of the people spoke only Spanish. I wondered if they will really ever use the stuff for a turkey dinner. Most of my Honduran friends don't like turkey. Or at least they think they don't. It's hard to find turkey, even as sandwich meat, so they don't eat turkey. The Mexican population here that I talked to seemed equally unenthused.

There were some toys on the table and everyone got to chose a gift for each of their kids. It worked out perfectly, with every parent finding something they knew their kids would like or need.


In the afternoon I went to my violin teacher's house. He turned 90 on December 10th. He is smart as can be, but his body is failing. Man it is hard to see people failing. When I first met him in January 2009, he still lived at home and gave violin lessens in his basement, climbing up and down the basement steps. Now he can't walk one step without holding on tightly for balance. But the conversation is still wonderful. We talk about everything. Politics, God, music, books... This year he told me he doesn't want to talk about the past because the memories take his mind back to a place where he feels sad. We shed a few tears together. I enjoyed his company with all of my heart.

I asked, can I take a picture of us?
He said, "You mean a selfie?"

Mr. Meyer's cat, Honey

Yesterday I went home and basked in the love that Mr. Meyers shared with me. I pray I will see him again, here on earth. If not, I pray that one day I will join him in heaven.

If you are a longtime reader, you have read about Mr. Meyers before. The first time was on October 8th 2013, when he was no longer in his house and I located him in this same assisted living home where he was today. That is worth going back to read, if you have a moment. Mr. Meyers is a friend like none other and a special gift from God.

Today was full of errands. I got a Colorado driver's license. My Utah license expires in November 2016 and as of now, it looks like funding will not allow me to return to the US next summer. So that is taken care of in advance.

We did some grocery shopping and went to the bank. All of those exciting things. I got a new kind of yogurt I have never tried before. It's pumpkin flavor.

Tonight Mom and I are going to Sweet Tomatoes to eat with my brother and his family. I don't really like to eat there. Especially since I am trying to diet. I always like to feel like I get my money's worth at a place like that, which is dangerous to my waistband.

Yesterday I bought a Starbucks coffee for the first time in years and years. I chose a medium decaf peppermint mocha - however you say that in Starbucksian. After paying almost $5 I could no longer enjoy it. That is just too much, in my opinion, for a cup of coffee. I started thinking about the people who go there every day. Wow. I refilled the cup with water and used it all day, trying to get my money's worth. I'll never go to Starbucks again. No judgement if Starbucks is your thing. It's just not mine.