Week Two of Team Hosting

Last night I was awake until after 4 a.m.  Finally at 1:37 a.m. I realized that God was trying to get me to pay attention to Him and seek Him regarding some possible changes that could occur in my life.  I've been praying about it, but not the kind of stay up until 4 a.m. praying that apparently He wanted me to do.

Today I have a lot more peace about the possible changes.  The one thing I do know is that right now God is telling me to be still.  So that is what I will do.  My prayer didn't reveal anything new.  But the sense of peace I have today made the lack of sleep worthwhile.

I was able to smile without Eunice pestering me.  I was able to be around people who don't like me without feeling uncomfortable.  I felt like I could handle what life is throwing at me and God is just asking me to be patient.

Today someone asked if I am open to making friends, implying that she believes I am not.  I said yes I am open, but it is hard because people always tell me not to trust anyone.  However, I do have 2 friends.  Ana and Fany.

The person immediately started telling me not to trust anyone.  I said see?  You are telling me that I am not open to friendships but when I tell you I have friends you are telling me I shouldn't trust them.  All I can say is that for almost 3 years Fany has proven to be a trustworthy friend and in the one year I have been friends with Ana, I have found no reason not to trust her.  So until one of them gives me a reason not to, I will continue to count them as my friends.  I do have other people here whom I know I can turn to, like Karla and Jose, or Lucy.  Or my former landlords.  Or my current landlords.  But Fany and Ana are my day to day friends whether others approve or not.

The swim coach has been calling.  I am horrible about keeping my phone with me.  At the church I never carry it with me because I will lose it, or it will be stolen.  Half the time I accidentally leave my phone at home.  So, needless to say, contacting me by phone is not easy.  I am sure he needs help with his Saturday morning lessons.  I need to talk to the church leadership and get permission if I want to do that again.  But it would be a great opportunity I think.

I went to the gym after being quite gluttonous with food over the past 2 weeks.  The man who used to be my trainer looked at me and said, "Your metabolism is changing."  He handed me weights and told me to do five laps of lunges, then gave me a hard upper body workout.  All for free!  I guess it pays to walk into the gym with a fat belly.

The visit from the second team is going well.  We are all together in one group every day.  A lady who is a teacher prepared lessons about the life of Moses.  It makes me proud when the kids are able to tell what comes next in the story before we even say it.  The kids at Buen Provecho are well educated about the story of Moses.  She is tying in themes every day like "You can always trust in God"  and "He cares for you."

A cool thing happened today.  The team had to leave after the first group of kids because they had to serve somewhere else.  But all of the kids except six were released from school early.  So the team got to teach and do the craft with almost every kid, which was nice and unexpected.  The poor man who was washing dishes today said he thought he was doing something wrong because he couldn't keep up with all of the dishes.  But that was because we had over 70 kids in the morning group alone.

One man on the team is a lawyer.  I like him.  He is a really nice guy.  But you can tell that he is also a tough lawyer.  Today he said that he was making a conscious effort to relax and let other people take the lead on this trip.  I think he is enjoying himself even more since he is sitting back and able to be relaxed.

He also mentioned that when they announced the members of this team he said, "Wow.  There are a lot of strong personalities on this team."  It is interesting to hear other people think about how their team is going to work together.  I spent so long praying from the team from my home church, K2, to be tightly united.  He said things are going really smoothly on his team, even with all of the strong personalities.

He also said he was surprised when Kelin tried to take his Rolex off his wrist yesterday.  I was not surprised, but was disappointed when he told me that.  We talked to Kelin and her sister before the groups came about not asking for things.

With a previous group Kelin asked some special friends for a bike.  In the end her special friends decided it was best not to buy the bike.  But I was shocked Kelin asked for it.  It put us all in a tough position.  This time she didn't wait for a translator.  She kept saying something he didn't understand.  And finally she reached down and tried to unhook his watch from his wrist.

Kelin and her sister both have a sense of entitlement that we are trying to address.  We talked to them each specifically because her sister wanted the first team to bring her a tablet.  Apparently the talks haven't sunken in yet.  Why Kelin would want a men's Rolex is confusing to me.  But it does go along with the general attitude of 'take as much as you can get' that I see so often here.

Today I did see progress when one of the Moms helped the kids with crafts.  Yesterday the same mother got mad at me because as I was handing out the crafts she asked for one for herself.  Meanwhile she was holding her 2 or 3 year old niece on her lap.  I told her that we need to help the kids do the crafts first.  She was not happy with that answer.   She did the craft for her niece, even though other kids the same age were able to do the craft themselves with a little help.  Today, however, she did not even sit down.  She walked around to each table and helped the kids.  After we finished today's craft I hugged her and told her thank you.  Progress!

This is Maryori (pronounced Margorie)
She is one of the new girls in my class

Another new girl

Teacher Mary with Milagro

Micah with Tania snuggled up

The kids and the team

The team with Belinda and me

My New Favorite Team

I have a new favorite team.  I don't know most of their names yet and I have no idea what church they are from, but they think that I am in my 20's.  So they are my new favorite team.

At lunch they were asking me about where I came from in the US.  I said I grew up and went to college in NY, then spent 15 years in Chicago.  Before I could even tell them about the 2 years in CO and 6 years in SLC they said 15 years in Chicago!  You can't be that old!

When I told them I will be 44 in a month they were shocked.  They all said they thought I was fresh out of college.  One lady thought I was about her kids' age - 27.  So they are now my favorite team.

We are all back to uniting in one big group for class and I am doing all of the translating.  It feels a lot different than last week.  Not better, not worse, just different. There is no schedule divided into 15 minute increments.  Just a note from the team about what time they will arrive and what time they will leave.  We also get a PBJ option with our lunches, which have been pupusas and catrachas so far.  Yum!  I haven't had space for a PBJ, but I will make room by the end of the week.  Although the menu all week seems pretty awesome.  I think Baleadas are tomorrow!

Lupe, Milagro and Lourdes brought us flowers today

Mrs. Osberg's sister, Becky, and Milagro

Erika and baby Marjori

A new boy

Junior enjoying his new toy

Me and Fabiola

Vitamins

Naun hard at work

Mary is teaching the class every day

Las Poderosas

What didn't hit me yesterday slammed me over the head today.  I really thought the team had left and maybe I had expressed my sadness about their leaving to them, instead of feeling it after they left.  But in reality it took an extra day to sink in.

This morning I was sad.  I didn't want to get out of bed.  I felt like by body was glued there.  Finally when I did get up I didn't feel like showering, which was good because the power went out and I could have been left soapy with no warm water.  My kitchen was flooded, which has never happened before.  Yesterday afternoon was really hot.  It hasn't been that hot in over a month.  And then it rained and didn't let up until after dawn.

As I left for the church Fany said good bye.  She said she was going out of town and my heart sunk more.  If I had a bad day, and it felt like I was going to, I would have nobody here when I got home.  I drove away feeling blue, you might say.  Whatever that means.

As soon as I got out of my car Eunice started asking me. "Where is your smile?  Where is the smile that you had last week?"  I couldn't work one up for her.  I'm sure she thinks I'm bi-polar.

The kids were full of hugs which made it better.  I was happy that 2 new girls showed up and they say they are going to come every day.  They were in my class and spoke out a lot as we talked about faithfulness and loyalty.  They would be great additions to that morning class, which generally can be very shy.

Last week because the team was here, all of the mothers who occasionally help came out of the woodwork.  Today there was Belinda, me, and one mother.  (Ana was at home, still sick from a cold she got last Thursday.)  I wonder how many mothers will show up tomorrow when the next team comes?

The good news is that I had some quality time with that one mother.  She is Clara.  She is the one who had Leukemia and was supposed to die but she stopped all treatment and God healed her completely.  I was in the kitchen with Luis when I saw Clara sitting by herself eating lunch, so I went out to sit with her.  Only Jired showed up for my afternoon class so I told him he was free to go and had a nice long talk with Clara.

I could feel God guiding the conversation.  It was very pleasant and positive overall.

She told me that she is a much different person than she used to be.  When faced with death, she said, you reflect on your life.  As she was reflecting she believed that if she died her children would not have good memories of her as a mother.  (I can't imagine that is really true, but that is how she felt.)

I knew her children missed her a lot when she was hospitalized.  I spoke with one of her daughters, Karla, who was really struggling at that time.  Some people thought Karla should be by her mother's side at the hospital.  But Karla was in the middle of exams and trying to finish school.  She felt confused because she was being told she was selfish for not being with her mother.  I asked what her mother wanted.

Clara stopped me at that point and said, "I told her I wanted her to go to school.  I didn't want her to lose a whole year of school because I was in the hospital.  I would have felt really guilty and there was nothing she could do for me.  I had food and a good bed to rest in.  I told her to only come on Saturdays and Sundays."

That's exactly what Karla had told me at the time, so my advice to Karla was to do as her mother asked.  If there was really nothing she could do at the hospital, she needed to focus on her studies as best as she could.  But Karla got a lot of flack for that from other people.

This led Clara and me to talk about Honduran culture.  I told her that in the US people respect the family structure and don't butt in to another family's business.  If a parent makes a decision for their family, people outside the family don't normally try to undermine the parent.  In Honduras I see the mothers criticizing the parenting of other mothers a lot.  The child is not talking, or walking, or eating like others think it should be.  Babies are carried too much, nursed too long, and spoiled.  It is always the mother's fault.

In Honduras you don't know who is your friend and who is not.  Clara said that last week someone asked her who is her best friend.  Clara said she doesn't have one.  She said she can't trust anyone.  I said that I have spoken with ladies from all walks of life in Honduras who tell me the very same thing.  They feel lonely and don't have anyone they can trust.  I think this is very sad, but extremely common here.  Almost every woman I know in Honduras has mentioned that they have nobody, or sometimes one person they really consider a true friend.  Clara said that she has several people she spends time with but she knows they talk about her behind her back.  I have certainly experienced that too.

People tend to be quick to criticize but not so quick with words of encouragement.  I said we need to build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

I told Clara that even the team who visited for only 5 days from the US noticed the envy within the mothers at Buen Provecho.  They didn't give names or even an example of what was being spoken of, but they could see that two mothers were talking negatively about another.

The saddest part is, we are within the church.  We are adults who are supposed to be role models for the kids.  We are not a team.  We are not the best role models we can be.  We are a bunch of broken individuals.

Clara said all of the ladies need to have a lesson about this.  Then we both laughed.  A lesson?  We already know right from wrong.  We don't need a psychologist to sit down with us and teach us that gossip and disrespect is wrong.  We just need to choose to do what is right and not to do what is wrong.

I suggested to Clara that the two of us could be different.  We could hold each other accountable.  If we heard the other fall into gossip we could say to each other, "Hey.  Stop that."  So we made a deal.  Clara and I decided that we will not gossip or say negative things about others.  If one of us finds the other engaging in that behavior, we will hold each other accountable.

She said we will be the first two and hopefully the others will follow.  I said I hope one day we can be the strong team God wants us to be.  He wants us to be united and strong.  To have each other's backs instead of talk behind each others backs.  To be happy for each other when one person receives a blessing instead of envious.

Clara said our goal is to be "Las Poderosas".  (The Powerful)  I think that sounds great.  I am happy I went to sit by Clara for lunch.  Call me a hopeless dreamer, but I have a little more hope for the future after that talk.  We'll see...

Nos Vemos K2

I have been dreading this day for the past week.  Today the K2 team left.  They were amazing.  As many people here in Honduras pointed out - they are my "gente".  My people.  I only knew the two leaders and two kids a week ago.  But over the past week I know I have made some lifelong friendships.

As I told the team, they were as much a blessing to me as they were to the children and families they served.  God really brought some things to a head this week and I don't know how I would have made it through without the support of my "gente".  Outside of my personal crap, everything went beautifully.  The team was so open to new experiences.  They adjusted quickly to a new culture and served with all of their hearts.  God was present with them every day.  It was everything I prayed for and much more.

Today we went to the first part of the Sunday service.  Then we had to leave early to take them to the airport.  My neighbors and I stayed to see them off.  I was thankful to Fany and her husband for being willing to miss church and give a proper farewell to our guests.  We waited until they passed by the big glass window and waved to them as they headed to the gates.

On the way home Laura, who is two, cried.  She wanted to go on the airplane with my friends.  Then we passed a bus and she asked if my friends were on the bus.  I said yes, because I didn't dare remind her of the airplane for fear the tears would return.

You know how sometimes things happen that could only be the hand of God?  That's how this entire week was.  We saw the hand of God every single day in the most unexpected and beautiful ways.  Sometimes it was in the connections the team made with the kids.  One day it was a lady we met who has one of the most powerful testimonies I have ever heard.  Sometimes it was the beauty of nature.  Sometimes it was the timing of things.

I was hardly at home all week.  I got to be with the team quite a bit, which was really fun.  (Could someone please explain to me how your house gets so dirty when you are only home long enough to sleep?)  I thought today was going to be difficult and very sad.  But with the support of Fany and her family, as well as the love of my new and not new friends, it wasn't as hard as I expected.  Or maybe I am numb.

I think there could be some big changes in my future.  All of those days that I didn't post because I couldn't write anything positive, and the struggles that I have been alluding to are now on the table.  God will move as He pleases and I will follow.  Please keep me in your prayers.  May God's will be done.

I thank God for the team from K2, or as we say in Honduras, "ka-dos".  I pray they will have a safe journey home and keep the love we have for them in their hearts forever.

K2 at Buen Provecho - Day 2

Today was really special.  God was very present in both the morning and afternoon class with the teens today.  I really like working with the K2 team in the classroom.  Last night after dinner we came up with a plan for today and had a full class scheduled out.  But in reality, we let God step in and take over, which made the classes a lot more fun and more beneficial for the kids.

The morning group did more playing.  They are shy and don't like to talk a lot.  The afternoon group did a lot of sharing.  They really opened up their hearts and dug deep.  It was exactly what each group needed.

Naun and Oscar

Circle of trust

Trust fall

Fabiola and Eli

Playing tanks

Between the classes one of the girls pulled me aside and asked why one of the team members trembles.  I said I am not sure, but I heard her say last night that she was diagnosed a year ago with something and today she said she has to take a lot of medications.  The girls (Dilma) said the lady is funny.  Dilma said the things she says are really funny.  I said, "Oh, I thought you meant that the trembling was funny."  Dilma became very serious and said no, the trembling is not funny.  That would be cruel.  We need to pray for her.

So we went directly to the team member and I explained that Dilma would like to pray for her.  The strangest part is that Dilma is very shy.  She is not usually outgoing.  Even in the classroom sometimes she covers her face when she talks.

But today God took away her timidness and she listed to Him when He asked her to pray for Andrea, the team member.  She said a beautiful prayer, which I translated for Andrea.  Then the two hugged and held each other for a while.  Andrea was very, very moved.  She told me she has Parkinson's Disease.  She said that her disease is nothing compared to what these kids face on a daily basis.

After lunch we went to visit a lady named Maria at her house.  She is one of two who were chosen by the church to go to beauty school.  She lives in what a North American would call a shack.  It was three full walls of wooden planks with holes between the wood.  The fourth wall had a door and a window with nothing to cover it.  I imagine when it rains hard the whole house has to be wet since the boards didn't touch and there was nothing over the window.  I also worry about safety.  Maria lives there with her 2 sons.  Anyone could crawl in that window.  Now I understand why some days the kids tell me they could not come to Buen Provecho because someone had to stay at home in the house.  Maria is blessed that her sister-in-law lives above her and her mother lives below her, so that provides some safety.

The home was one room.  It did have a cement floor.  And one bed and the cushion of a chair on the floor.  The walls were covered with what looked like paper bag or something similar.  But the whole place felt so cozy because her son's art work was carefully hung across every wall.  Maria definitely puts a lot of love and care into her home.  I didn't see a place to cook or any evidence of food.  I am hoping maybe they prepare food at her mother's home.

It was so interesting because Maria said that she was very grateful for the basket of food we brought but kept emphasizing that what she was even more appreciative of was the love she felt through the church and through the people visiting her home.  She explained she has felt very alone, even to the point of taking her own life.  She has no way to provide for her two sons and cannot find work.

We prayed that her circumstances will change.  I feel very hopeful since she will be able to cut hair and paint nails after she finishes beauty school.  Without knowing any of this, I gave her a towel today.  She needed it for her class because they are washing and blow drying hair.  She does not own a towel.

Her oldest son is in my class.  He is very quiet and to be honest he often does not pay attention.  He is one of the students who is progressing least.  I am hoping that by visiting his home and getting to know him and his family on a different level, that might change.

I received one of the highest compliments I can imagine receiving today.  I asked the youth pastor from K2 for feedback after two days in the classroom with me and the teens.  He said that he believes we are doing exactly what we should be.  He said by investing in relationships with these kids I am giving them all they need to learn how to grow and how to be successful.  He said he can see that the kids and I have a good relationship and they are listening and learning.  To hear that felt amazing.

Eunice keeps saying every day that it is nice to see me so happy "with my people".  I know she realizes I have been down lately.  I think she wants to support me on my good days by saying positive things like that..

Well, as usual it is pouring rain..  The team was more tired today, I noticed.  One girl has had a headache for over 24 hours and today it was really hurting her to the point where she couldn't eat and was just lying on the cement floor of the church.  I told Robin I think that happens at least once every time a team comes to visit.  Poor Kacy is usually full of energy, but today she was definitely suffering.  Also one of the kids drank the tap water at the retreat where they are staying.  Better than drinking the tap water in the city, but still not the best idea.  His stomach was a little off today, but he seemed okay.  They have antibiotics and stomach pain medicine if he starts getting diarrhea.  And of course there is always Dr.  Gustavo.  Thank God for Dr. Gustavo.

It was pretty awesome to see God's hand touching so many people today, including me.  Nothing has changed as far as the things I am struggling with, but it sure is nice to have some positive people around, being cheerful and doing happy things.  I am enjoying every minute with the K2 team, even more than I hoped I would.

Kim and Junior

Some climb mountains, Carlos climbs people

Hugs

Jovi with Tania

Eli taking a sselfie with Kebelin

K2 Day 3 (First day at Buen Provecho)

Playing streets and alleys

My Mentor, Robin, with two of the girls

This is my class of teens
Today two members of the team took over for me

Junior eating Catrachas

Justin, a member of the team, washing dishes
for the kids of Buen Provecho

The team played soccer with the kids too
That was a huge hit!

Today was a long day, but I am not too tired.  Wait until the end of next week.  I'll be ready to drop.(We have another team coming next week.)

This morning we had a presentation about the church and about Buen Provecho.  By the time we were done the kids were already there, so we had a little time to play.  Then we jumped into the classes.

There was no translator for the preschool class so Eunice had to leave her office duties to translate for the team members who served in the preschool class.  I wonder if she will have to do that for the next two weeks or if the rules will change when K2 leaves.

 My morning class was really quiet.  It was like pulling teeth to get them to participate.  But the afternoon class was fun.  We are really lucky because the youth pastor of K2 is going to spend the week in my class.  I think it will be good for several reasons.  They aren't often led by a male at church.  At Buen Provecho we are all women. Also, most of them do not have a male role model at home, so they seem to like having a guy around.  He is easy going and fun and he likes to play soccer.  I think it is going to be a really good week.

I am starting to realize that God sent the team as much for me as he did to serve the kids.  I have been really struggling and having the team here makes me realize I am not crazy.  Today I feel like a totally different person than I have for the past few weeks.  I just don't care about the drama anymore.  I can focus on the kids and the people who are a positive influence on my life and pray for the rest.

I spent most of the afternoon/evening at the retreat center with the team.  It was nice to hear their point of view.  Sometimes I was reminded of my first trip here.  It is also really nice to be able to talk with Kim, the leader of the team, and Robin, my mentor.  Robin asked if she could take me out to dinner this week!  That will be wonderful.  Just the two of us with some alone time to talk.  I am looking forward to that.  She said don't worry about the cost, but I don't even know any good places to go here.  I'll have to ask around.

Kim brought me a big goodie bag with everything from contact lens solution and flea drops for the cat, to my favorite chocolate and a book of Sudoku.

Tonight I pulled out all of my Honduras gear.  Tomorrow HO plays the US in soccer.  We are all going to wear Honduras jerseys.

I am really, really impressed by this team.  They are fully invested and still really easy going.  Nobody seems stressed out at all.  Health wise, other than a headache they are all doing well.  I believe it is going to be a week full of blessings for the team and for me, as well as for the kids of Buen Provecho.  God seems to be very present in everything they do.  Which come to think of it, is exactly what I prayed for last night!  What more can you ask?

They're here!

The K2 team got here safely on Saturday afternoon.  They are two members short because one of the members has health issues.  He and his wife had to stay in the US per doctor's orders.  The rest arrived, tired but happy to be here.

We went straight to Villa Gracia, where they will stay.  They were excited to see their accommodations.  We had a nice lunch and I left them to rest.

This morning they went to church.  Walter preached.  For me, it was an excellent message.  Exactly what I needed to hear.  Unfortunately the translating wasn't well planned for the team, so some of them missed the whole message.  But I was near Lucy, who is my translating idol and I noticed that I was keeping right up with her.  My translation has improved greatly, which is something I take pride in.  I hope one day to be an excellent translator.  But for now, at least I can say that I am pretty darn good.

Today Samuel Matute, a member of the leadership, played the bass.  He doesn't play often so I snapped this photo.

Samuelito found a friend in team member Eli, and was stuck like glue to Eli until bible classes began.  At least that kept him calm and not up to his usual antics during the service.

Worship time

After church everyone piled into the van to go to Valle de Angeles, a small tourist town outside of Teguciglpa.  We stopped and ate at a place that served huge platters of meat - 3 types of chicken, one sausage, one pork, two beefs.  It was enough food many more people.  Especially since some of the team members. like me, are not huge meat eaters.  That was just one of the ways the team is missing having Jairo here as a host.  Jairo certainly could have helped with all of that meat!

When the staff saw us come in they set up a microphone and a man began to sing.  By the time we left one of the team members and her daughter were up there singing!  It was very cool.  The staff absoutely loved it!  They were a huge hit.

A duet in Spanish!

The K2 team and me

Tomorrow will be the team's first day with the kids.  I am a little nervous.  For some reason there is a lot more structure expected from this team than from any other teams before.  Normally we "go with the flow" when teams are here.  But this time the team received a schedule which is broken down into 15 minute intervals.

In a country that is known for not paying attention to time, I was surprised to see that the team was given a minute to minute schedule to abide by.  Tomorrow we will see where the hand of God fits into it all.  I know if everything is left in His hands, the day will be exactly what it is supposed to be.  That is what I am praying for.

Some photos from Valle de Angeles:

Robin and I got to see a woodworking shop

View of Valle de Angeles from the shop

Trying Lychee fruit for the first time!

The teens are shining bright

Okay, Kim and Robin, you are not allowed to read this post until after you have visited.  Otherwise it will ruin a surprise.

For the rest of you, today started out a rotten day.  I don't know who I can talk to and who dislikes me these days at Buen Provecho.  It makes things uncomfortable.  And then someone whom I have specifically told that I am offended by the word gringo and asked them not to say it, said, "The gringos are coming for the next two weeks."  I didn't say what I had planned to say because it wouldn't have done any good.  The person said it knowing full well it would offend me.  If I had responded to the person it would have only given them an excuse to be mad at me.  But I did wait until they were done speaking, then calmly turned and left the room.  And still, later the person seemed offended.  Oh well.

So yeah, my day didn't start well and from there I thought it was getting worse.  A lot of the older kids had today free from school because it was report card day so there were a ton of them who aren't usually in my class.  Those are the ones who are normally harder to teach.  And today my plan was to teach them a song in English so they can sing in English when the teams come.

The enemy was working overtime in my mind saying that none of the kids would participate, they would just complain and give me a hard time.  I even considered nixing the idea of the song for today.  But I really wanted our guests to see how well the kids are speaking English, and even singing in English!  So I gave myself a pep talk.  If I have a perky attitude, the kids follow suit.  If I act too strict, they shut down.  Although I was feeling solemn I knew I had to kick it up a notch in order to get the kids to participate.

I walked down to the soccer field and yelled, "Class!" then headed up to the classroom.  Normally I stand and wait to make sure they come.  And normally they continue to play.  But today I decided I was not going to let that upset me.  I expected none of them to follow for a while, then they would want a drink of water, and maybe 15 minutes later they would show up in the classroom.  But no!  They immediately stopped playing, walked right past the water fountain and straight to the class.  That had to be God at work because it has never, ever happened before.

They settled right in with our morning devotional and things were going so smoothly I got up the courage to write the lyrics, word by word, on the board.  I explained what each word meant and we practiced pronunciation.  Actually, I didn't have to explain many words because the kids knew a lot of the words already, which was yet another pleasant surprise.

We started to sing the lyrics together and almost all of them sang out strong.  I told the two that weren't singing they would have to sing alone if they didn't choose to sing with the group.  That got everyone involved.  So we sang everything a few times and I corrected the pronunciation.  Then they each said/sang (their choice) the lyrics one by one.  Speaking a second language out loud is intimidating.  I know that.  Some of the kids are better than others.

About 4 tried saying, "I can't."  But by now they all know that does not work in my class and we will wait there all day until they try.  So the peers encouraged the kids who were scared and everyone said the words by themselves.

Now it was time for the music.  I hadn't really thought about how we would do it exactly.  They already know the words in Spanish.  I had only taught them the chorus in English.  Let me just say, I was shocked.  I was so shocked I cried.

I imagined Robin and Kim, who have known these kids for years and years, watching them sing in English with almost perfect accents.  They will be so proud of the kids.  And they will also be proud of the work that I am doing here in Honduras as I represent their church.

The kids loved that I cried.  And it was a good cry, like I couldn't talk and had to sit down and wrap my head in my hands.  They all huddled around me and hugged me and told me to go ahead and cry.

Finally when I could talk I explained to them what I was feeling.  I told them I had started the day in a bad mood.  I admitted that I was hesitant to teach them the song because I thought they would give me a hard time.  But they have the most beautiful attitudes and because of them, I want to go on.  I thanked them and told them that I always thank God that they are so open to learn.  I told them that when I pray I thank God for blessing me with such amazing students who constantly surpass my expectations.

At that point Oscar, the smooth talker of the group, said in Spanish there is a saying that a student is only as good as their teacher.  I told him and the class honestly, I think for me it is the opposite.  They are the ones who make me a good teacher.  Today is a perfect example.

We are all excited to sing for the teams that are coming.  The kids say they want to learn the whole song in English, but I think it sounds cool to sing parts in Spanish too because the teams will enjoy hearing a familiar song in Spanish.  We'll see.  Maybe we will have some solos in English.  Who knows?

I told them all they could go eat.  It was late.  But they said they wanted to sing more.  Since there was no school today we stayed and sang.

Sometimes, if you give God a chance, He can completely turn your day around.  That's what He did for me today.

Later I saw the person who had said the offensive thing to me.  They were still in a bad mood.  Oh well,  I cannot control other peoples' happiness.  I can only control my own and try my best to be a positive influence on those around me.  That was my lesson for today.

I am extremely grateful for the teenagers who shine their bright lights into my life when my own is getting a little burned out.  They show me love when they don't even know I am discouraged.  I love them and as much I as am struggling right now with other things, they are the ones I am here to serve.  They are the ones who matter.  Gossip, disrespect, negativity - all of that can be driven away by God's light that shines through these kids.  I have to say something we probably don't say enough.  Thank God for teenagers!  And thank God for placing me as their teacher.

Anniversary

Yesterday was the 32nd anniversary of Iglesia en Transformación.  We will celebrate all month, but yesterday was the official party that kicked everything off.

One of the coolest things about this church is that it was founded by a group of buddies who were growing up together.  Now their kids have grown up together and their grandchildren are starting to be born.

They ask everyone who had been with the church for 32 years to stand up, then 30 years, then 25 years. etc.  By 15-20 years more than half the church was standing.  The kids of the first generation are all at least that old and more people also joined in along the way.

There was a great slide show of all of the original people when they were young.  You could see they just really enjoyed each other's company.  They weren't just doing church things, they were living life together.  I think that makes my church in Honduras very special.

The celebration last night was packed.  They added more chairs, but there were still people standing in the back.  The kids didn't have their bible classes.  They all sat quietly and calmly for over 2 hours!  My favorite part was that the kids from the Breakfast Program had watched and helped us prepare all week so many, many of them showed up with their families for the first time ever!  I was so excited to see them walk in!  When I took my envelope up for the collection I was swamped with hugs and kids wanting to introduce me to their mothers.  It was awesome!

There were also more than 50 people there from the church in La Tigra which is our other location.  La Tigra is way up in the mountains.  A big school bus brought them all down.  Many of the people who live there are isolated and don't get down to the city much.  I noticed when we went to La Tigra for youth camp that the people stared at me a lot as I drove by in my car.  I think they don't see many light skinned people.

Yesterday I was seated in front of the people from La Tigra.  Some of the mothers and a lot of the tiny kids seemed fascinated by me.  Fany said it was my pretty dress.  But I know it was really my light skin and "smooth" hair.  When I first came to Buen Provecho the kids used to want to pet my hair.  I just realized they don't do that anymore.  I am not as fascinating to them anymore.  But I like that.  They think of me more as one of them now.  Sometimes I forget that I am not indigenous here.  It takes things like the kids from La Tigra to remind me.

After the service they served a delicious dinner and had a beautiful cake.  I was with Fany.  Her daughter Laura was tired so we went home early.  After they ate dinner at their house they came over and we all sat on my bed and colored and talked.  Laura loves to draw.  She has already filled one whole book so I found another book of blank pages and gave it to her.

Laura has a cow that her Grandfather gave her.  It is kept on her Grandfather's land in the country.  Last week Laura's cow had a baby.  But where its front "wrists" would be it can't straighten its legs.  It is learning to walk now, but it walks on the back of it's "writst" with its hooves folded under.  Laura named the cow Blanca, even though it is male.  I saw a picture and it is really cute.  Her grandfather is spending lots of time massaging the leg muscles.  They are giving it calcium too, hoping the legs will straighten.  They think it happened because there was not enough rain, and therefore not enough nutrients for the unborn baby.

I hope Laura's cow will walk properly soon. I don't know what will happen if it starts getting big and is still walking like that.

Today is Sunday and I have a whole day free with no obligations.  Fany and Laura are going to the farm.  I think I will go for a run.  Yesterday I ran in my neighborhood and just as I was getting tired I turned a corner to see a huge rainbow over the mountains.  It wasn't so bad finish my run uphill with that rainbow in front of me.  Today I am going to try to do double what I did yesterday.  And read.  Maybe watch a movie.  Possibly mop the floor.  But that might be stretching it.  I've got a good dinner planned with pasta and some fresh veggies I need to use up.

It's nice to have a free day once in a while.

Los Maleducados

Today we spent the day cleaning the church for the 32nd anniversary party.  Good thing we had the kids from the Breakfast Program around.  They worked hard.  Many of them don't attend the church  Sundays and are not allowed to participate in things like the summer camp because of that.  But they all spent the day cleaning everything from bits of garbage on the ground to mopping the church itself.  Even the littlest were great workers.

Tomorrow at 4:30 we will have coffee and cookies and then the service will start at 5 p.m.

I am feeling fed up again.  Amongst other things I am sick of being called a "gringa".

When I first arrived people asked if they could call me "gringa' and assured me it was a term of endearment.  But then my taxi driver was shocked when I used the word, a doctors wife at the church asked me if I allow people to speak to me that way, friends at the gym have told me it is "maleducado" which means bad mannered, or rude.  I noticed that people who wash my car and others whom I speak with outside the church are careful to say "North Americans" or there is also a word for United States-ians.  Even my mechanic looked at me funny when I used the word Gringo.

To be honest I was never comfortable with the word.  But if it was part of the culture, as I was told, I didn't want to be rude and unaccepting.  For a long time I dealt with it, trying to get used to being called "gringa".  (Sounds like a monkey to me.)

One day we had a meeting for the Breakfast Program.  All of the volunteers met with the psychologist to discuss how things were going.  One thing that was brought up was that the kids are not allowed to use nicknames for each other within the church.  At that time I spoke up and said that I am not comfortable being called "the gringa" and asked them to stop.  I explained why it was offensive to me, and that in my culture we do not say things like that.  I asked that we talk to the kids about not using the word either when teams from the US come to serve.

The kids have all stopped using the word.  In fact they scold each other if someone says it.  But with the adults it continues.  Almost always it is behind my back.  I know that because people come up to me and say so-and-so was talking about you the other day and she said, "La gringa..."  

Certain people say it is as a deliberate attempt to be disrespectful.  So I have decided that from now on rather than referring to those people by their proper name, I will call them "la maleducada".  And maybe they will finally understand how I feel after almost three years of being called "La Gringa".

Of course by tomorrow I hope to be less frustrated about all of this stuff and will probably never follow through with these bold (and admittedly not-so-wise) intentions.  But for today, the idea of speaking my mind for once sure feels good.

Sometimes it's hard to be a missionary in Honduras.

Happy Friday.

Shout out to K2 Team 2014 and to Robin

Hooray!  Hooray!  Hooray!  It is finally October!!!!

Since at least June I have been waiting for October.  Why?  Because for the first time ever I will be hosting a team from my own church.  I love hosting teams from other churches.  I hope I will enjoy even more hosting my own church.

I was thinking about this last night.  The first time I ever visited Honduras it was with a team from my church.  That team was led by two people whom I had never met before, but got to know here, in Honduras.

A year later when I returned to Honduras on my own to work on my Spanish, God called me to serve here.  I went back to the US and decided I needed discipleship.  I am still a new Christian, but at that time I was very, very new.  So I picked the person who I thought would be the toughest on me.  I didn't have time to mess around.  I had to learn as much as I could quickly, before I moved to Honduras.

Little did I know it would take 3 years.  I thought I would leave in months.  Three years was a long wait.  Every Wednesday, without fail, we met.  I was learning and growing.  Sometimes it was learning from mistakes.   Even though I was eager to be in Honduras, I could see how God was melting away my rough edges during that time and shaping me to be a better servant.

Guess who is going to be on the team that arrives in 10 days?  The very lady who led me here the first time and helped me prepare to live here!  What an honor it will be to host her.

Would I be here without her guidance?  I think so because God's calling was so clear.  But would I be the person I am today, if she had not devoted her time, her wisdom and her love to me?  Definitely not.

Thank you Robin Geddings for investing in me.  Thank you for loving me and being tough when you needed to.  I can't wait to see you and meet this team that you and Kim are bringing!   Who knows what God has in store for each of you?!?  We do know one thing.  If we let God work through us, it will be good!

My only wish for your team is that they keep their eyes, their ears, their minds and their hearts open.  I pray for you guys and your time here every day.  I can't wait to meet you at the airport and to walk with you on this new journey!  Yup.  I am crying, thinking of what God has in store for you all.  It is going to be amazing.  I am so blessed to be able to experience it with you!

Here are some photos of my first adventure in Honduras.

My unexpected baptism.  (I did not want to be baptized in Honduras.  But God forced the issue.)

My team after the baptisms

My team in August, 2008
Little did I know that first morning in Honduras, the lady standing to my right, Robin Geddings,
would play a significant role in the rest of my life.
Several other woman who were strangers on this day are now my closest friends and greatest supporters.

The first child I fell in love with in Honduras, Wendi.