Meeting with Betsy tomorrow!

Tomorrow could be the big day!  I meet with Betsy from Jericho Ministries tomorrow at 9 a.m.  I told Fany last night as we were walking to the store that I am nervous, although I know there is no reason to be nervous.  It's not like a regular job interview where a whole bunch of people are also competing for the job.  Either Betsy has a space for me in her ministry, or she doesn't.  God knows if He wants me to be there.  I believe He will make His desires clear to Betsy and to me.

At the same time that I am eager to start serving again, my heart is really more excited to serve with Pastora Ruth.  I see this time with Betsy as transitional and an opportunity to learn from one of the best.  Betsy has been doing this since the early 80's!  Anything I glean from her will be a gift.

It is confusing because I feel so strongly called to serve with Pastora Ruth, that it overpowers what I feel about serving with Betsy.  In my human heart I wish it were time right now to serve at Ruth's side.  But that may not happen for a while and I am ready to get back out there.  Of all the ministries I know, Betsy's is the one I feel most attached to so far.  So that is where I will start.

I often think about the kids in Los Pinos and how I could continue to help them.  I have two friends who are serving in Los Pinos with different families.  Neither friend is with a specific ministry.  One wrote yesterday that she had a good day, but was concerned about the violence that is happening there right now.  She said the area is very "hot" and she didn't mean temperature-wise.  She was just there two weeks ago and didn't mention anything about feeling unsafe, but yesterday she was worried for her own safety as well as the families she is serving.  I am not sure how to serve the kids I love in Los Pinos in a way that keeps me safe.  If God wants me there He will show me a way.  In the meantime I talk with many of them by Facebook.

I am going to spend a lot of time today with God and pray that I am super focused for the meeting with Betsy tomorrow.

Saturday I have to give my testimony at my new church.  I am nervous about a couple of things.  Honestly, I have never really seen anyone officially give their testimony.  Of course I have heard people unofficially share their story.  But I have to stand in front of my women's group for an hour and a half.  THAT has me nervous.  Pastor Ruth says that my life experiences are going to heal other women.  That is why she wants me to share with them.  I know that God will give me the words, if I allow Him to.  I pray that all that I say is received in the way God intended for each person to hear it.

Next week I may be back in ministry officially!  I told Fany I am trying to enjoy this week as much as possible.  Last night Fany and I had a girls' night with Cynthia.  We painted our nails and had a nice dinner.  We planned to watch a movie but that fell through so we scanned through novelas (soap operas) looking at the latest clothing styles and makeup.

Fany and I also realized there is a gym right by our house!  I went inside and checked it out.  It's tiny, and there are no elliptical machines, but it is cheaper and so close.  I am dying to get back into the gym.  None of my clothes fit except the biggest and stretchiest.  I was thinking of joining the gym today, but then I realized I should wait one more day.  After my meeting with Betsy tomorrow I will have a better idea of what my schedule will look like.  Then I can commit to a gym membership.  (Here it's only month-to-month anyway, but I can wait one more day to be sure it is a wise decision.)

The water did come last night!  We washed and cleaned and took full advantage.  However, I was tired and did not stay up until 5 a.m. like on Saturday.  I need to get back into better sleeping habits if I am going to do full time ministry again.

I am laughing to myself right now thinking about sleeping habits.  I spent so many sleepless nights when I was not in a healthy place emotionally over the past 3 years.  Night after night I would wake up at 1:30 a,m, and not be able to fall asleep again until 5 or 6 a.m.  Now my sleepless nights are only due to water problems.  I choose to stay awake to water the lawn and wash my clothes.  Hahaha!  Praise God for all He has done for me and in me!

Late nights

On Friday Fany and I were outside talking when I heard the television make that fuzzy sound it makes when the cable goes out and there's just snow on the screen.  I didn't think much of it until later when none of us had cable.

Fany thought for sure a cat had tugged on the wire since cats are always walking on our roofs.  (That's one of the things that happens when the huge wall around your house is higher than your roof.  It freaks Jetty out every time we hear a cat pounce down onto the roof.  I've gotten used to it.  The mangoes, however, are much louder.  Glad they are seasonal.)

I was less hopeful than Fany about cat interference.  We have had free cable since I first moved to Honduras.  The lady who lived here before me took her internet modem back to the company but they never turned off the cable line.  For 3 & 1/2 years nobody has paid for cable.  Maybe I should have had more of a conscience, but I couldn't bring myself to go to the company and ask them to please start charging me.  Plus Fany's house is on the account, so anything I did would effect her.

Fany climbed up on the roof Saturday but couldn't find any wires disconnected.  Santos climbed up Sunday and found two cable lines cut off at the pole.  (Literally cut.  No wonder this country has so many cable wires hanging around!.)

Typical telephone pole in Honduras

So, we are without cable.  Today we went to the mall to shop around at different cable companies but ended up only going to one place because they were having a special promotion.  For $16 we get a million channels.  More than I will ever watch.  Plus news from Denver so now my Mom doesn't need to give me the weather report every time she talks to me because if I want to know the weather in Denver, I can look for myself.  (My Mom is obsessed with the weather in CO.  I keep waiting for it to wear off, but now she has been there three years and it hasn't slowed down a bit.)  On top of that they offer 100 minutes each month of free calls to other phones on the same plan.  I hardly ever use my phone so Fany is going to receive the 100 free monthly minutes.  She is excited about that.

Last night the water came at midnight which meant Fany and I started washing laundry at 1 a.m., after our tanks were part way full.  We have taken to watering the grass with water that comes out of the washing machine hose.  Good thing our washing machines are outside or the grass and trees would be  dead by now.

Also, Fany's sister has been in labor since Saturday.  Yesterday afternoon Fany came over in tears, which I have never seen before, because she thought her sister was going to die.  I assured her that everything seemed to be normal, as far as we knew.  Finally last night as we were washing the driveway and the front patio, the baby was born at 2 a.m. which meant the family was sending photos and we were both hyper.  I didn't sleep until 5 a.m. and today she told me she didn't either.

Fany's sister lives in the US.  Throughout the day Saturday and Sunday we had lots of time to talk about the difference between hospitals in the US and public hospitals in Honduras.  Fany kept waiting for her sister to have a cesarean and die.  In Honduras apparently the doctors will start cutting you open without even telling you.  I assured Fany that in the US they try to tell you as much as they can each step of the way.

I thought I had a good idea about how things work in the public hospital here.  During my visit with the team in 2008 I spent most of the week in the maternity ward of one, which is not the worst at all, but to me it was unimaginable.  After giving birth the women lay on beds with no water, no pain reliever, no ice packs, no diapers - the ladies had NOTHING, not even bed sheets or a pillow.  They all shared on big room with about 25 "beds" that were not really beds.  The next morning they were all told to leave at 11 a.m.  Even if they had just had a cesarean a few hours before.  It blew my mind.

Fany said that the people in the US were shocked that her sister didn't scream during her contractions.  Fany said that in Honduras you are not allowed to make any noise during labor - at the public hospitals at least.  I said how can that be?  She said if you make any fuss the nurses yell at you and say horrible things like, "Why are you screaming now?  You liked it when you got yourself in this situation."

She said the nurses in public hospitals don't work because they want to take care of people, they work to have a job.  And because they are often not paid for months on end and are treated pretty poorly overall, they don't care about bedside manner.  Fany said that while she was in the process of having Laura she watched a nurse tell a young girl to lean back.  The girl was sitting on a desk.  Then without saying a word the nurse shoved a sharp wooden thing into the young girl to get her water to break.  It worked.  The girl cried silent tears and Fany said she did too.  But neither dared make a sound as the tears dripped down their cheeks.

Anyway, we were both up until 5 or 6 a.m. between her new niece's arrival and the water coming in the middle of the night.  We will have to continue to do this until the water rationing stops.

I am grateful that I have a friend like Fany.  I was thinking a lot about that last night.  We come and go from each other's houses like family and we eat most of our meals together.  We basically are family, except by blood.  It's nice if you have to stay up at night to wash your clothes to have someone else to stay up with.

We won't have cable until Wednesday so I got some movies to entertain us tonight and tomorrow.  And there is always Chutes and Ladders.  Laura earned Chutes and Ladders last weekend by following her mother's instructions all day.  Every kid I know in the US has Chutes and Ladders and Candy Land.  Here board games are hard to find, as are puzzles, which are now Laura's favorite.  I found Chutes and Ladders at a second hand store.  I was really excited!  It is the original one, nice and strong and has all of the pieces.  I paid $5.  Probably could have paid less, but I was so excited I didn't feel like bartering.  Only now I realize that sometimes that game can go on for an eternity and even as a kid I remember it being frustrating.  But Laura loves it.

I am praying a lot about my meeting with Betsy, which is Friday.  A week from today I could be resuming full time ministry!

Craving Honeycombs in a Corn Flake World

I've been sick - thus the quiet time.  After spending all day Sunday wiping Laura's nose for her - it was a constant faucet, I've never seen anything like it - SURPRISE!  Fany and I both got sick Wednesday night.

I went to prayer group Wednesday feeling fine.  We had a lesson from Pastor Peter before the time of prayer and I felt the right side of my throat getting sore.  An hour later I was almost laid out in my chair, and I was not slain by the spirit.  I was slain by a cold.

After looking through my cold supplies I saw that I had enough to make it through the night, but would need to buy more in the morning.  As I pulled out of the garage the next day, Fany and Laura came out and stood at the edge of the driveway, ready to close the gate behind me.  Both of their heads were hanging and their eyes were glazed over.  They looked exactly the way I felt.  I bought medicine for all of us.

We are all still drippy, sneezy and sometimes coughy, but I woke up at 7:30 today instead of 2 p.m., so I think I am better.  We slept for the past 3 days.  The highlight of our sleeping was when Laura sang to her mommy and rubbed her back.  Fany and Santos sing, "Sleep my girl" (their own homemade song) to Laura so Laura sang, "Sleep my woman" to her mom.  Hahaha!  There was also a part about lions coming, but Laura didn't specify what would happen if lions came.  We are able to laugh about it now.

Yesterday was Fany's best friend Cynthia's birthday.  Since Cynthia always does special things for us, we wanted to do something for her.  Our plan was to walk to the next colonia and buy a gift from the used clothing store, then make Fany's famous tacos.  It was an ambitious plan considering we had barely been out of bed for three days.  Fany came over at 10 a.m. and said she was ready to go.  I apologized and said I couldn't go, but I would drive to the store in the afternoon if she wanted.  Fany went alone and bought taco ingredients.

The electricity went out at 8 a.m.  While Fany was shopping she heard a lady saying that the lights are out all over the country because of lack of rain.  We also learned this week that the city is only sending us water 2 times per week for short increments of time.  We are concerned that we might not get any water, or very little because we sit on top of a hill.  It makes for pretty views of the city, but because we are up higher our water fills last.  So if everyone's water tanks are low and the city sends water only for a couple of hours, it may not reach our water tank at all.

Apparently that is why the lights were out too.  The country is not generating as much hydroelectric power as usual with no rain, so they turned off the lights all over.  Fany's friends all over the country were without power.  The worst news is that rain usually comes on the 5th of May, and then again in June when the rainy season hits.  We are a long way from the rainy season, which didn't come until August or September (if I remember correctly) last year.

I am glad I'm not up in the mountains with the fires anymore.  But the city doesn't control the water in the mountains so they don't have to worry as much about running out.  Down here there are less fires, but also less water.  I am always pretty water conscious, but I've started bathing like I did when I stayed at my brother's house.  He has to pay for and haul in most of his water, so we used water sparingly.  I hope the people down below me are using their water sparingly too!  Fany and I are talking about buying new garbage cans so if the water does make it up here we can put the garbage cans in the shower and let the water collect there.  Then we can use that water to bathe throughout the week.

Speaking of bathing, I hadn't bathed since Wednesday.  Not because I was trying to save water, but because I was sick.  I was dying for a shower.  However, the only way you get hot water here is an electric heater attached to the shower head, so I would have to take a cold shower as long as the electricity was out.  Normally not a big deal, but with a cold, not an appealing thought.  Also I realized with no electricity there was no pump to pump even a cold shower into my house.

Fany and I decided we would wait until 5 to see if the power came on.  If the power was not on by 5 we would scrap the cooking plan for Cynthia's dinner  and buy fried rice from a nearby restaurant with a gas stove.  It went off at 8 a.m. and came back at 4:45 p.m.  We were happy.

I showered!!!! and ran to the store where I realized I was weaker than I expected, so I called my neighbor who attends my church and asked if he could bring the supplies I was assigned to bring to church.  Even lifting a can of spaghetti sauce off the shelf was tiring.

We had a good time celebrating Cynthia's birthday and more importantly, Cynthia did too.  We told her welcome to the house of the mucosas.  That's what you call someone with a runny nose.  As in mucous.  I prefer runny nose over mucosa but it is funny to say.  Cynthia seemed to have the sniffles too so she fit right in.

Last night I turned on FB for the first time since I got sick and saw that Karla is asking for prayers for Clara again,  I sent her a message today because Karla said she hates it when everyone calls her phone to see how her Mom is doing.

I am craving Honeycombs today.  Unfortunately, I have never seen Honeycombs in Honduras.  I live in an almost strictly corn flake world.

Laura can sing the alphabet in English almost perfectly.  She walks around singing it all day except she says, "Now I know my ABCs... HIJKLMNOP,"  at the end.  I have told her what the words mean, hoping if she can understand the meaning she will be able to remember better, but no luck so far.  Still, I am amazed by her.  She is so smart!

Praying for rain and for Clara!

Get home safe

On the way home from prayer group tonight a lady asked if I pass by the exit for the University.  I said yes.  She expected Pastor Ruth to be at prayer group tonight, because she always is, but tonight Ruth couldn't come.  That was going to be her ride home.  After some brainstorming she realized if she could get to the University, she could ride a bus home with her husband.

I told her I would take her to her husband.  She said, "Just let me out here."  I said no, I want to let you out directly to your husband.  She said that's not possible because he was still in class, but she could go into the university and meet him at the building where his classroom is.  Not my favorite option, but the safest I could think of as we were in the middle of some crazy traffic.

We got to the front exit of the university.  It was dark.  It gets dark here at 6 p.m. every night (Oh how I miss 9 o'clock sunsets!) and by this point it was 7:30 pm.  She said, "I am going to jump out quickly and you go.  It is dangerous here."  I hated to watch her leave, especially when I realized she had 3 bags with her.  That made her more of a target.  If the streets weren't packed with cars I would have insisted that we stay in the car or go to a nearby restaurant and wait.  I should have planned better.  But with all of that traffic we didn't have time to make a plan.

She jumped out and I watched until I couldn't see her anymore.

Then I turned on the radio as I sat in backed up traffic.  A music program ended and news started.  After counting down all of the people who were found dead today, tonight's topic of discussion was the assaults of people who ride the bus home after classes at the University.  Specifically the route that the lady from my church and her husband were about to take.

For the next 15 minutes people called in to the radio show, talking about having been assaulted on that bus route.  Lots of people had to drop out of college because all of their books were stolen (sold on a street corner near the U the next day) and they did not have enough money to buy all of their books and supplies again.

All I could do is pray.  I love Honduras but I hate that people here have to put themselves in such danger to do everyday things, like go to college.

Coa and cuajada

All day today I thought it was Monday.  That is because I spent 13 hours on Monday trying to do my taxes.  I never finished, so I think my mind is trying to block out that day.

Sunday was so fun!  I woke up early and got 2 hours worth of work on my taxes done.  Then as I was getting ready for church Fany invited me to go to Coa with them.  Coa is a little village where Fany's husband, Santos, grew up.  He invests a lot of time there.  He helped build a school and then a soccer field.  Sunday was the finals for the first year of soccer on the official field.  Santos had trophies and drawings for prizes.  People came from all over to watch.  It was packed!  The home team lost.  But it was fun.

I got to meet Santos' family and see their home.  The people of the village were really nice.  Usually if I go into a small town the people stare at me like I am a monkey in a zoo.  But not in Coa.  The people there are all different.  Different heights, different hair, different shades of skin.  I don't stand out so much.  On one hand I was very comfortable, but I must acknowledge part of me missed having everyone stare.

Santos asked me what I thought of his little village.  I loved it!  I decided I am not a city girl, or a mountain girl (although I thought I was each of those at one time or another in the past).  I am a small town girl.

Santos has a pomegranate tree in his yard.  But the people there don't eat pomegranates, so they all just rot and die.  Fany and I each ate one and I brought some more home.  Santos' mom cooked us breakfast.  Somehow she heard I like healthy food so she made broccoli, cauliflower, and two big chunks of cuajada, which is my favorite cheese.  A local lady in Coa makes the cuajada and Santos' mom knows I love it.  She sends it home with Santos to give to me all of the time, although they had never met me before.

Then I got to meet the son of the lady who makes the cuajada.   Apparently she has been trying to marry off her son with me for a while.  Fany told me a couple of times about the cheese lady saying that Fany should introduce me to her son.  All I have to say is that I wish I were 20 years younger.  Her son is one of the most handsome men I have ever seen.  Fany said everyone calls him the "prince" of the village because he is so handsome and he has this air about him.  I asked why he doesn't have a girlfriend.  Fany said he is related to everyone there.  I can't say if he is nice or not because we never spoke.  I just admired him from afar.  And wished I were young again.

Today I called Betsy, the lady I would like to serve with.  She said she has another team coming tomorrow, but she will meet with me on the 13th after they leave.  I am looking forward to that!  It's a Friday,  I may be back to serving full time the following Monday, if this is God's next step for me.  I hope so!

Garth and Clara

Tonight was prayer group.  Earlier this week I talked to Pastora Ruth about the fact that I had made a promise to a friend to pray for him, but I hadn't followed through with my promise.  I think I expected others to want to pray for him, as I had seen them pray for others in the past.  When they didn't seem to care about my friend I became discouraged.  I should have never given up, but I did.  There was a lot of guilt on my behalf for not keeping my promise to my friend and also for not following through with something I believe God called me to do.

Pastor Ruth seemed to understand without much explanation.  She told me it is never too late and she said she would support me by praying for him too.  So tonight at the prayer group she asked me to explain the story of my friend Garth.

Garth is battling cancer for the 4th time.  Some of you may have heard of him as the Napkin Notes Dad.  Garth has written a note on a napkin for his daughter every day since kindergarten.  When he was diagnosed with cancer he made a promise to have a napkin for her every day until she graduated from high school.  So he wrote one for every day.  But those are set aside and as he continues to fight for his life, he writes a new one.  He has a book that came out at Christmas called "Napkin Notes".  It was printed in 18 languages!  Garth and his daughter have been on the Today Show, Rachel Ray, Dr. Oz, Ted Talks and more - some more than once.

Growing up, Garth lived 2 miles away from me in the next village over.  When we were in high school I seriously believed that he would be president of the United States.  I heard him say one day that he wanted to be, and I never doubted his ability.  He is that kind of guy.

But God had a different calling for Garth.  Now that is very clear.  God called Garth to teach other parents how to connect with their kids.  And he does that well.  Garth and I agree it is a more important job than being the president of the United States.

We had an AWESOME time of prayer for Garth.  Pastora Ruth said that she would like to be the one to pray for him.  The Holy Spirit filled that room powerfully and we prayed hard for a long time.  It was beautiful.

On the way home I stopped and picked up Chinese food.  Fany has family visiting unexpectedly because her sister's husband's grandmother died.  I don't really understand why they are staying here, but I don't need to know.  I just know that Fany has been feeding three extra mouths for the past few days and bringing me a meal if I am not already at her house when they eat.  So I was happy when God put the idea into my mind to stop and get Chinese food on the way home from my prayer group.  I called her and told her not to eat until I got home because I would bring food.  She sounded relieved, which made me even happier that the thought came to my mind.

We had a nice dinner.  Everyone was grateful and the good thing about Chinese food here is that you can feed a million people without spending a million bucks.  By the time dinner was done everyone was exhausted, some having stayed up all night last night to bury the grandmother, so I cleared out.

I sent a message to the lady I would like to serve with today.  The last time I called she said she wants to meet with me but she is busy and she will call me when she is free.  That was over a week ago, so I sent a message just to be sure she has my phone number.

And, the best news is last.  I was chatting with Fabricio on Facebook tonight.  He asked if I heard the good news.  Clara is doing so well that she no longer needs blood donated.  She will stay in the hospital for observation this weekend and if all stays on track, she will be released next week!  I talked to Karla three times today, but somehow she forgot to mention that to me.  :)  I was so caught up in how well Karla sounded that I told her to hug her mom and tell her hello, but I didn't ask how Clara was doing!  (Karla is spending her days teaching kindergarten and her nights at the hospital and she is still smiling and laughing and in great spirits.  God is keeping her very strong, like her Mom.)

So there is my good news for the night!  Clara should be at home by next week, God willing.

Ready for tomorrow

You know those days where you fail at everything you try to do?  That was today.  On top of that my 6 year old nephew Jack's pet gerbil? or hamster? I don't know, I only know his name was Love Ball (named by Jack) died.  This on top of their dog dying last week.  Too much for one little boy.  Check out this picture he drew for him Mommy.

I was supposed to meet up with a friend, who I have had to cancel on at least two times already, but with no car that was not possible.  I felt bad cancelling again.  Another truck (this time straight across the street from my house) had a flat tire.  I went to talk to the guards, who we pay to patrol the neighborhood and they said I needed to talk to the boss.  This was the conversation:

Me:  "Have you heard about the tires getting slashed?"
Him:  "No No No No No"
Me: After he finishes with his barrage of No's "No you haven't heard?  Or no you don't want to hear?"
Him:  "If you park in front of someone's house the are going to get mad."
Me:  "All of the cars it happened to were not parked in front of ANY house.  They were parked next to the church on a Monday."
Him:  "But the people get mad and I can't get in the middle of it.  (Now waving his arms.)  I can't do anything."
Me:  "So who can I talk to about this?  We pay for vigilancia, right?  Yet I was outside last night when the fourth car got slashed and I never saw any guards around.  And you won't even talk to me about it."
Him:  "You need to talk to her.   She might know."
Me:  "Who is her?"
Him:  "Her.   Her who is there."  (Very vague.  I am pretty sure he knows who it is - as we all do.  It is a her.  But he doesn't dare to say it because she has been causing problems for years.)
Me:  "Tell me who I should talk to and I will.  But I don't know why we are paying you to patrol if you can't help at all with this."
Then suddenly the man who knows nothing says, "I saw your car was tipped sideways with flat tires, but you normally never park outside.  Just don't park outside again.  I can't get involved."

Fany says she will talk to them next time they come to collect their money.

Then I go to the doctor.  The road is under construction, so it takes half an hour to drive what should be 2 minutes.  The doctor has me wait because he doesn't have the materials necessary to do a test.  The nurse has to go to the store to buy the materials he needs.  She returns to say the store doesn't have what they need.  She says I need to go to a lab.  I drive to a lab, not really knowing where I am going.  The lab is open until 6 pm.  It's 4:30, but there is nobody there who can do the test.  I have to come back tomorrow, do the test, go back next week, get the results, take them to the doctor and drop them off, go back later after the doctor can read the results.  No thanks.  I will find a new doctor or stick with my pediatrician!

I get home.  It's now 5pm and I haven't eaten all day, but Fany needs a ride up the mountain to where I used to live.  We get in the car and I am not driving in my usual speed racer style because the mechanic told me to go easy on the patched tires.  However, Laura starts puking while we are still on the main highway, before we even get to the mountainous curves!  She pukes all of the way up the mountain.  Fany is sitting in the back seat next to her, trying to catch the puke in a plastic bag, but Laura doesn't want to puke into the bag.  The car smells wonderful but we can't open the windows because of the neighborhoods we are passing through.

When we get to the house where we are supposed to drop things off there is no place to park.  The house is right on the road.  So I am worried we are all going to be smashed into by the crazy buses that careen down that mountain.  We decide to all get out of the car for some fresh air.  We ring the doorbell and Fany is pretty sure we are at the right house, but nobody answers.  The person we are supposed to drop things off to is not home and doesn't answer the phone.  So we wait on the side of the road.

Finally someone else pulls up and approaches us hesitantly.  We have an awkward exchange, neither wanting to share too much information.  After we have each called every number we have and rung the doorbell over and over, we begin to spill little pieces of information.  We are waiting for the husband.  He is waiting for the wife.  He has to wait because the wife is taking care of his son, so he agrees to pass our things along to the person we are supposed to deliver them too.  We leave and head back down the mountain telling Laura that people never vomit going  down the mountain.  So she chats away and I drive extra slowly in second gear, grateful no traffic is behind me.  Then Fany gets a call that the man we were dropping things off to is no longer traveling to Guatemala, so we drove up there with a vomiting three year old all for nothing.

I decided after such a crappy day we deserve a good dinner.  I was starving by that point and Laura seemed fine.  She hadn't puked in almost an hour.  We stopped to pick up sushi, but decided to eat there since it was 2x1 if you eat in.  That was the highlight of my crappy day.  Dinner was good.  Laura was really good in the restaurant and we all ended our day on a positive note.

Flat tires

Someone in my neighborhood was busy today.  Two of my neighbors woke up find the tires closest to the curb were flat.  As I headed out to a doctor appointment, I discovered the same.  All of us were parked in front of a church that is not busy at all on Mondays or Tuesdays and has never caused problems in the neighborhood.  At first I wondered if I had any enemies in Honduras.  But then the man who pushes the ice cream cart came by and said this has been happening a lot lately.  Always in front of the church, and more specifically always across the street from the same house.

A lady from the house he was speaking of came out to "look at a tree" that was near my car.  Other people were stopping their cars (and ice cream carts) to ask if I needed help.  But she just looked at her tree and didn't talk to me.  What made it stranger was that later she spoke to me in English, so it wasn't a language barrier that kept her away.

Sunday I came home from church and my street was full of cars from the Catholic church across the street.  Santos (Fany's husband) came out to open the gates for me to pull into the garage, but I had looked at the way the cars were parked and decided it was going to be hard to get into the garage with the street so full.  So I told him thanks, but I would move my car inside later when the streets were more clear.

Then yesterday I got lazy.  I have left the car outside before and nothing happened to it.  We have guards that patrol and it is a gated community, so I never worried much about my car.  I never see broken glass in the streets from break-ins and I haven't heard of any problems.  Until today.

When I first approached the car from the drivers sign today everything seemed fine.  But when I tried to drive the car away from the curb I realized it didn't want to move.  I knew I had a flat tire.  I didn't expect two.

A bus driver came and started yelling at me that he couldn't get past me.  I was trying to get the car as close to the curb as possible without ruining the rims.  His yelling did not help.  An assistant got out of the bus and starts motioning for me to pull forward.  He doesn't understand that despite his motioning the car does not want to move.  Finally the driver says, "The car has problems?"  and the assistant says, "Hey!  You have two flat tires!"  That was the angriest I got.  "I KNOW!!!!" I said, frustrated that they thought I was such an idiot I didn't know how to pull the car forward a foot to let them pass.

After they got by I got out of the car and saw my special surprise - two completely flat tires.  I called my mechanic.  He always said if I ever had a problem I could call him and he would come.  He is a man of his word.  The ice cream man and I talked.  The lady from the house across the street checked her tree, and then told me she planted all of the trees on the street, which I was later told by several people is a lie.  Then my mechanic arrived.  He was really upset when he saw what happened.  He had brought 2 extra tires to put on my car, thinking we could just go inflate the ones I had and change them out.  But when he saw what I noticed right away, that the tops were still on the little nozzle where you insert air, he realized we were probably dealing with punctured tires.

He asked the ice cream man to stay with me and my car, took my tires and left.  The ice cream man and I talked about a lot of things.  He is really nice.  He had the opportunity to move legally to the US but decided not to because he was afraid it would be easy to get wrapped up in his new life and forget about his family in Honduras.  He has a wife and a little girl here.  As we stood on the hilltop in my neighborhood he pointed out areas that are dangerous, and where it is more safe.  He comes from a dangerous place pretty far away, pushing that ice cream cart with a bell, to sell his ice cream in the safer places.  Fany tells me he has been selling ice cream here for at least 10 years, since he was a young boy.

He told me it is very strange to have the tires slashed because my neighborhood is hard to get into.  He said it has to be a neighbor.  The mechanic had said the same exact thing.  Then a man came up to me with photos of my car, his own car, and a car that had been parked behind us.  When he tried to leave for work this morning at 5 a.m. he found all of our tires slashed.  We were all parked in front of the same house.  The English speaking tree lady's house.

Fany came out to see what was going on.  She called her cousin who is my landlord.  At the same time they both said to each other that they thought it was that lady.  Apparently she has done some damage to my landlord's car too.

So, everyone was in agreement.  The first person to arrive on the scene, besides the ice cream man who was just passing by, was probably the culprit.  I had spoken to her nicely.  Now, 10 hours later, Fany and I just found another car with its tires flat.  This one is in front of OUR house.  The car was there this afternoon, but the tires were not flat.  And this time the flat is on the side by the road, not by the sidewalk.  Our tire slasher is getting more brave.

I feel sorry for the person who is going to go to their car to discover that.  I know it is not a good feeling.

I do have things to be grateful for in all of this.  First, it happened near my house in a place where I didn't have to worry about my own safety.  I just stood and gabbed with the ice cream man, who my mechanic had instructed to wait with me.  Secondly, I have an awesome mechanic who drops everything and comes to help when I need something.  That is a huge blessing.  And third, they were just tires. Yes, they are expensive, not in my budget, and they were less than a year old.  But they are replaceable.

When my mechanic came back from fixing the tires he was even more shaken up.  He waited for the ice cream man to leave and then he sat down and asked me to take a seat next to him.  He said that he had gone to the police.  There were three wholes in each tire.  (The man who had taken photos as 5 a.m. said there were three holes in each of his tires too.)  He said the holes were strategically placed in a very specific area, which is pretty much impossible to fix.  And worst of all, they were put there by a tool that resembles an ice pick.  It has a wooden handle with a spiral metal part that comes to a tiny, straight, sharp point at the end.  The police whoever did this was very angry.  They didn't just let the air out of the tires.  They were vengeful.  The police told him to warn me never to park outside again because the person would likely see this as a warning and would take a more drastic step if I ever leave my car outside again.  That step, they said, could be against me or my car.

My mechanic was angry and worried for me.  We put the patched up tires on the car and took it to his garage so he can see how it is in the morning.  He believes it will need new tires.  At least I was not planning to start my new ministry this week because he said he will have the car for most of the day tomorrow.  He has some other work to finish up and he wants to see how long the tires hold air.  I did have lunch plans with a friend, which we have been planning for almost a month.  But she understood that we have to postpone.

Tonight Fany went around closing everything up extra tight.  That's when she saw the car with the flat tire right in front of our house.  We didn't dare go out and check to see if the curb side tires were flat as well for fear people may see us and think that we had flattened the tire.

At least I know it was not something personal against me.  Seems we have a tire slasher in my neighborhood.  And they are keeping very busy.

Anticipation

I feel my full time ministry coming closer.  I feel the need to appreciate the rest and free time I have, but at the same time I am trying to squeeze in everything I need to get done before I no longer have control over my own schedule.

It feels exciting, and not at all like pressure.  This fits in with what God has told me about waiting for my next ministry like I would wait to open birthday presents.  I can't wait to see what it is, but I understand I won't know until the time comes and that is fine with me.

A two year old baby died in the explosion 2 days ago.

Today other than clean the house, I did almost nothing.  The people I was supposed to take to donate blood had to postpone.  So I appreciated my time of rest, with anticipation that soon I will be very busy!

Living Water

Last night I decided I would wake up early this morning and put on makeup for church today.  No particular reason, just because.  (Normally I never wear makeup.)  I had a new (to me) shirt that I bought for $3.50.  Fany and I dug through a few thrift stores the other day and I found that shirt, a really cool sweater for $1.50 and some clothes for Ana's kids for 50 cents!  Fany gave me earrings to match my new shirt, so I was going to be all dressed up today for church.

But since I rarely dry my hair and never put on makeup, I didn't allow myself quite enough time.  Then when the new shirt was a little less modest than I remembered, I had to make a quick wardrobe change.  (Got to church and other women were wearing less modest clothes than my new shirt, but thank God I ended up in a dress because that was better for the broiling hot weather.)  In the end I left the house 15 minutes later than I hoped.

As I ran out the door Fany asked if she could get a ride to my old church.  I said sure and we all jumped in the car.  Then my phone beeped.  It was another friend saying she wanted to go to my new church.  I called her back and we decided she will go next week.  I was a little frenzied by the time we hit the road.

My friend Ana loves my new church and had asked if she could go today, so I had plans to pick her up.  I dropped off Fany and got stuck in incoming traffic at my old church, even though Fany was 15 minutes late for the start of their service.  Then I swung by and picked up Ana and her kids and drove like a maniac to my new church.

All in all, what would normally take more than half an hour to do, took me 21 minutes, including the time I was stuck in the church parking lot.  I did notice Ana was holding on to that handle above the door.  (What is that handle there for anyway?)  There is not much traffic on Sundays and speeding tickets don't exist here, so I made it to church at 10:01.  They started the music as we walked through the doors and one whole row of chairs was empty, waiting just for us.  Ha Hah!

The message was pretty awesome.  It was about belief and not making excuses - asking God for exactly what you want with faith.  It was also about living water, and the fact that the church is effective because the "water" there is not stagnant or old, it is LIVING water that flows like a river.  The message was very inspiring.  We left well fed once again, both spiritually and physically.

Today's fundraiser was tacos.  Honduran tacos are what we would call flautas in the US, with shredded cabbage, shaved cheese and tomato sauce on top.

Samuel didn't want to eat them until he saw everyone else drinking cute little glass bottles of Coke.  He asked if he could have a coke.  I said only if he ate lunch, so he did.

This afternoon I didn't go to the afternoon church service that I usually go to in English.  Fany and I decided it was too sweaty outside to do anything.  Yuck!  I was talking to Fany about health stuff, like how many people can't give blood because they have had some weird disease which excludes them.  (Fany has had Malaria twice!)  I told Fany that from now on I am going to choose all my friends according to whether they are able and WILLING to give blood.

She said that her friend was worried because the friend is turning 50 and everyone she knows gets diabetes at 50.  I said it's because they drink so much Coke.  Fany said her Mom doesn't drink Coke, but she does drink Pepsi - a huge glass for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And she is diabetic.

I don't think I have ever once seen anyone in Honduras drink milk with a meal.  I see them drink a tiny, juice box sized carton of flavored milk as a snack every once in a while.  But not as part of a daily diet.  And drinking water is like a punishment to most people.  Most people would not purposely choose to drink water.  The amount of soda consumed here is insane.  And if it is not soda it is Lipton Iced Tea, which is not much better.

Last weekend my church had a whole program on Saturday afternoon dedicated to teaching nutrition and healthy eating habits.  Today we ate deep fried tacos and Coke.  But we did talk about the living water.  I wonder if that counts for anything.

Please keep me in your prayers this week as I am waiting to hear back from a lady who I would really like to serve with here in Honduras.  I believe God brought us together for a reason and I am hoping that this is the time He has planned for us to start working together.  I think she will call Monday or Tuesday.  My personal prayer is that I can be an answer to her prayers for her ministry.

Speaking of calls, I got a cool phone call today!  It was a friend from my home church in the US!  She said that she got a package for $6/month added to her phone so she can call me and chat for an hour each month.  Yay!  I felt very special.  This time we mostly talked business.  But it will be nice in the future if I have a bad day, or a good day, and want to share it with someone.  As she said, it is nicer than chatting on Facebook.

I got two people who are going to donate blood tomorrow.  I am giving them a ride to make sure they go.  One is scared and one is only doing it because his friend wants him to, so they aren't very self motivated.  The least I can do is give them a ride.

No new updates on Clara, but I will get one tomorrow when I drop off the constancia - the sheet of paper that allows her to receive the blood.  Last I knew she had only 6,000 platelets and a healthy person has 150,000.  Her family remains faithful.

I have a cousin who went to Guatemala to serve in the Peace Corp., fell in love with the country and a man, and a year ago today she got married there.  Now they are celebrating their one year anniversary with their new baby, Elijah.  Yay!

Carolyn and Edyn on 2/22/14
(I was there!)

One year later

My $1.50 sweater!

Ultimo Momento

This morning I was doing a bible study and washing my laundry when Fany came to tell me there was an explosion in the market by the stadium.  It is the biggest market in the capital city, where everyone buys their groceries for the week.  My first thought was that it was purposeful, but she explained that a chimbol of gas exploded and caused a fire which made other chimbols explode.

The ladies who sell cooked food were most affected.  The market is only open Fridays and Saturday mornings.  The explosion happened at of the busiest times of all, during lunch hour on Friday.

So far they are reporting that 40 people were severely burned and 6 are children.

I am giving thanks for the Red Cross again, as I see them loading people into ambulances with their clothes burned off and pieces of shrapnel in their bodies.  The people were taken to Hospital Escuela for the first 45 minutes until it reached capacity.  Now they are being sent to San Felipe where I visited the maternity ward when I first came to Honduras on a team from K2 in 2008.  Some are going to Seguro Social where Clara is too.

Fany is trying to get in touch with people she knows who work selling food there.  Her sister-in-law is one.  So far she cannot contact them.  But the news is not reporting any deaths.

The news crews are making things more nuts.  They get in the way as the ambulances are unloading patients at the hospital.  Then the news reporters yell at the medical people that they are doing their job and need access to the patients.  This would not happen in the US.  The ambulance staff cannot even unload the patients from the ambulances and everyone is arguing over whose job is more important - the new reporters or the medical staff.

It is crazy what they show on the news here.  Personally, I don't need to see it all.  But maybe that is because I did not grow up here.  I am not accustomed to seeing the carnage, the way people might be here.

Now the news of the explosion is being interrupted to show two bodies dead in a pool of blood inside of a wooden canoe, one dead in the back of a pickup truck.  People are just standing around the scene, looking at the cameras as if this is a good chance to get on tv.  Nobody seems upset that there are 2 dead people submerged in blood inside of a canoe a few feet away.  There are two more bodies that they aren't showing.  All of them are related and were killed, but they are not sure why yet.

Now back to the explosion.  They are saying now that people are at risk of death.  And they are asking for blood urgently.  Gosh.  It has been hard enough for us to find blood for Clara.  Now it will be more difficult.  They are even asking for anesthesia, oxygen tanks, antiseptic solution, antibiotic ointment and sterile pads.  The biggest hosptial in the capital of Honduras does not have the most basic things it needs to treat these burn victims.

Although I can't do much personally, I am making a vow that I will do all I can to raise my levels of Hemoglobin so I can give blood in the future.  It seems that many people (in every country, I think) don't understand the importance of giving blood.

PS:
Fany and I were just talking about the idea that maybe they will have enough extra blood from donors for the explosion, that they could use some of the overage for Clara.  Fany told me that Hospital Escuela is asking for such basic things like anesthesia.  I said I heard that too.  What a shame.  She said yes, just yesterday they discovered a huge storage unit full of medical supplies from Hospital Escuela.  Someone was stealing them.  So much corruption in a land with so much need.

Let me be singing when the evening comes

First news about Clara.  The man who listens to Dr. Gustavo's radio program in San Pedro Sula (far) donated and Karla was able to pick up the note from the local Red Cross.

I took a new friend and her 2 kids to get a check up with Dr. Gustavos.  He asked how we were doing and I told him we still need more blood so he is going to announce it again tomorrow on the radio.  That seems like I best way to reach people.  Praise God for kind hearted strangers!

Today has been a day of praise for me.

I woke up at 5 a.m. with "10,000 Reasons" in my head so I got up and listened to it over and over.  What a great song to remind us of all the reasons we have to worship our Lord.

After dropping my kids and her friend off at their house God asked me to pray out loud to him.  So I started giving thanks for all the ways we can see His hand in our lives - from the circumstances around my car accident yesterday, to all of the amazing people he has placed around me just at the right time.

I prayed for the team that is coming from my home church in the US and for the ministry where I will serve next - that it will be a healthy environment and that I will add to it in a positive way.  I also realize this has been a good week of transition for me.  I feel my next full time ministry right around the corner.  This week has prepared me for a full time schedule again.  Maybe I don't have a specific ministry with a name that I am serving at the moment, but I have been busy as can be this week, serving God.  Whether it is taking children to the doctor or finding blood donors and making sure the right papers get to Clara.  Some of the older teens from my previous church have been chatting with me in the evening on FB.  It's surprising how open they are.  I think it might be easier for them if we are not face to face to spill their secrets.  So in a way, I have a little ministry right on Facebook!  I mostly encourage them to pray, seek God's will, and remember to leave room for God to act.  I think more than anything they need an ear to listen.  I can do that.

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes - Matt Redmond 10,000 Reasons (Bless my Soul)

The evening has come and yes, I am still singing this song!  It's been a good day in Honduras.

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

My first choque

Woke up this morning with a horrible headache and nausea.  Didn't feel like getting out of bed, but had a busy day ahead.

I reminded Dr. Gustavo to talk about Clara needing blood, as he asked.  Then turned on his program and heard the announcement.  We got five calls from that one announcement.  One of the people wanted money.  But the rest all just wanted to help.  So far not even a third of the people who have tried to give are eligible.  I am also surprised by how many people can't give because they have had hepatitis, dengue, malaria, or other crazy diseases which excludes them.

I got my residency paperwork started this morning.  Then picked up Fabricio to go back to Red Cross to meet the lady who responded to Dr. Gustavo's request for donations on his radio show.  But I ended up getting in my first car accident.  It was very minor, but the guy was a major jerk.  I think he might do this as a way to scam money.

We were merging into heavy traffic that was barely moving.  A taxi comes up on my right in a lane that does not exist and is honking like a maniac.  But this is typical in Honduras, so I don't think much of it.

However, as we merge onto the big road, he doesn't back off.  I had already merged into traffic and he tried to force me to serve into the lane to the left of me.  Luckily we were barely moving when he stuck his arm out the window and started pointing to the side of his car.  Neither Fabricio or I felt any impact.  He basically side swiped his own car with the corner of my right front bumper.  Then he sat there staring at me.  So I just stared back.  Neither one of us got out of our cars.

I was so grateful to be with Fabricio!  99.9% of the time I am alone in my car.  If I had to have a car accident, I am glad that it was that .01% of the time that I had someone with me.  In fact, Fabricio is the only young man I know who goes to the gym every day.  He is not tall, but he has the muscles to prove it, so he was the perfect passenger.

I called the insurance guy, who I just met yesterday for the first time.  I'm sure he's thrilled he insured me when I call him with my first accident 24 hours later!  He said he was close by and on his way.  He called the main office and had me on the phone with them until my line cut out.  Meanwhile the taxi driver is telling me to just pay him 1,500 Lempiras ($75) and I can go.  I told him there is no way I am paying him any money at all because it was his fault.

Every taxi that passed pulled in front of me and stopped, blocking me in as if I was going to try to escape.  They would get out and look, then get back in their cars and go.  I was a little nervous they would try to gang up on me.  But I think they could see that he had nudged into me while I was already in my lane.

The police came and asked me to move my car, but the insurance guy said I needed to wait for him to get there.  It's 4:30 rush hour traffic on a road that is always nuts when it is not rush hour.  I understand the policeman's point.  I was respectful but I didn't move.

The police asked for my license.  (Here licenses don't have addresses, so I felt fine with that.)  He went and talked to the taxi driver.  Then he came back.  I said I am not paying that guy anything.  He was beeping his horn, driving too aggressively, and this is his fault.  The cop said no, you are not paying anyone anything.  He asked if I was okay, if Fabricio is okay, and if my car is okay.  I told him everything was fine.  My car didn't even have a scratch.  It was just dirty where the guy side swiped himself onto me.

The police said I can't let you hold up traffic any longer.  If everything is okay, you may go.  He held up the left lane of traffic, let me pull around the taxi, and I left.  My insurance guy arrived just as I was pulling away.  It's nice to know he is willing to come fast if I need him.

Fabricio and I made it to the Red Cross in time to meet the lady who came as a result of the radio request.  She was really nice.  Clara's daughter, Karla, was there too.  I remember the last time she had to go through this with her mom it was really hard on Karla.  She couldn't eat and she was on the verge of tears all of the time.  But let me tell you, Karla looked great!  She was calm and smiling.  She had a sense of peace about her that can only come from God as she told us that the doctors have said they will do all they can do, but only God can save her mother.  She said with a smile that she has faith that her mother will recover, it doesn't matter what the doctors say.

Fabricio decided that rather than stay and go home with Karla, he wanted to go with me to my weekly prayer meeting.  We prayed for Clara and for Fabricio as he begins his next phase of life.  (He is moving to Spain on March 20th!)  Then I took him out to dinner.  I was thinking we would go someplace that he could get some typical 20 year old young man food.  But he decided he wanted to try sushi for the first time.  Since it was 2x1 and I am now anemic, (Boy!  That is a great excuse to eat sushi!!)  I thought it was an excellent idea.

I had forgotten the people at the sushi place all know Clara because they took swimming lessons together when I taught last year.  Within minutes the restaurant staff were on the phone calling friends and family to donate blood!  As of today we have 11 donors who already gave blood.  We have three more that are going to try.  We'll see what happens with the sushi people.

I think it was good for Fabricio to see them jump into action.  He tends to carry heavy burdens and I believe he felt like he was the only one taking action.  I know he hasn't been sleeping much and he spends all day on the phone trying to contact people to donate.  I hope it lifted his burden when the people from Usami stopped working and huddled around us, bouncing ideas off each other about how they could get more people to donate blood.  At least he could see they care.

After I got home I was on FB and Fabricio sent me a note.  In Honduras it is very normal to say "Te quiero mucho" which means "I love you".  Fabricio is working on his English so sometimes we chat on FB in English.  He thanked me for driving him around today.  I thanked him for being willing to organize everything and all of his hard work.  Then he said he was going to bed and wrote "I love you" in English.  Fabricio is so shy!  I didn't dare explain that "Te quiero mucho" is not the same sentiment as "I love you", so I just replied, "Te quiero mucho!"  Someday when he is relaxed and not going to be embarrassed out of his mind I will explain the difference.  But not tonight.

Fabricio fights for Clara

I can't remember the last time I felt this exhausted.  But I want to write everything down while it is still freshly jumbled in my head.

Last night I was on FB, chatting with some boys from Iglesia en Transformación until almost 3 a.m.  They couldn't sleep because they are worried about our friend Clara.

If you have been walking with me for a while, you know Clara as the woman who got Leukemia, was sick in the hospital, I went to visit her and puked all over the famous Hospital Escuela, she got better, got pregnant, got worse, stopped all meds, got better, gave birth, lost the baby 3 days later, was told she was free of Leukemia about a year ago, got pregnant again a few months ago, was hospitalized, lost the second baby, and now is in very grave condition in the hospital again.

This is Clara in May 2014 - healthy, happy and so proud she learned how to swim!

Clara always smiled when she swam.
She was one of the last to learn.  It was scary and challenging.
But Clara learned to swim!

Clara with her two daughters.
Karla, on the right, became a very good swimmer.
She loved sharing this experience with her mother.

Now that you have met Clara, let me tell you a little more about her.  She is someone who taught me about faith.  When she was first diagnosed with Leukemia we were very scared.  It was Clara who stood strongest.  Later she said that her faith did waiver.  All I can say is that I never saw it.  Clara's words and actions, even at the most difficult times, were always positive.  She is a woman of great faith.

On Sunday when I got home from the retreat, Fany said that she talked to someone at church who told her Clara was very, very sick and needed 10 pints of blood.  In Honduras I often hear the word "grave" to describe someone's condition.  It seems like sometimes the term is thrown around too loosely.  I hoped that was the case for Clara.  But I was worried.

Then last night the boys started writing to me on Facebook.  One of them went Saturday to donate blood.  Let me take a minute to tell you about this boy.  His name is Fabricio and if you read my blog regularly, you may remember him as the boy who went with me the last time we attempted to give blood.  It was a horrible, all day event at Hospital Escuela - the toughest hospital in Tegucigalpa.  We had tickets for my first soccer game that day and we almost missed the game because Fabricio was not going to leave until he completed his mission.

That is how I first bonded with Fabricio and learned what a faithful friend he is.  He had never met Clara, but he was willing to give up the soccer game and the ticket he already paid for to help someone he didn't know.  I was impressed and have respected Fabricio from that day forward.

Since that time Fabricio has come out of his shell a little.  He learned to play the drums and is now part of the church band.  Several times when he was feeling down, he has reached out to me and we talk.  I am honored to help.  Although we no longer attend the same church, our relationship is strong.  Last week he said that I am the only one who knows, but he is moving to Spain.  His mother lives in Spain and his brother left in December to live with her.  In March Fabricio will go too.  I am excited for him.  It will be a much better environment for him.  In Honduras he is lonely and I don't need to tell you about the danger and the economy.  I predict Fabricio will thrive in Spain.

Last night Fabricio was really wound up.  He had gone to give blood on Friday.  Luis (another boy I admire immensely) and Kevin went yesterday, but Fabricio is worried that Clara is going to die and it seems to him that nobody else is doing much about it.  Now Clara needs TWENTY pints of blood.  He was calling all of his friends and asking them to donate blood.  He got one friend who goes to school right by my house to donate, so I agreed to pick up both boys and take them to donate.

After we had a game plan in place, Fabricio said he was feeling better and could sleep.  I could tell he was still anxious.

Today I picked them up and we headed out, each of us thinking we knew where we were going, but we got lost.  Luckily Fany's husband, Santos, is in town and with a couple of phone calls we made it to La Cruz Roja (the Red Cross).  I was amazed at what a different experience it was to give blood at the Red Cross as opposed to our last experience at Hospital Escuela.  There was NO wait and the people were super nice!  Unfortunately, first my blood did not want to come out at all for the finger stick test, and then they said my Hemoglobin was too low.

I am surprised because I ate more meat at the retreat last weekend that I have eaten in months and every meal had salad as well as vegetables.  But they said I cannot give blood and will not be eligible to try again for three months.  I was super bummed.  Really upset.  I wanted to cry but I didn't want to upset Fabricio.  I am one of the healthiest eaters I know!  How could this be?

Fabricio's friend was able to donate.  We learned that 8 other people had come earlier in the day, but only 2 of the eight were able to donate.  Which means that Clara has only received 3 of the 20 pints of blood she needs.

Fabricio was not satisfied with this result.  He said he was going to get back on Facebook and keep asking people to donate.  But so far that has not been effective.  Here are some photos he was using for his campaign:

Luis is the first photo.  Fabricio and his sign are the second photo.

Since Fabricio was not feeling content with his efforts I figured I could walk along side him for the rest of the day.  I mentioned that one of the nurses had told me to ask the police to donate.  Fabricio said that he had seen a lot of military men come in when he donated, so we talked about where we could go and how we could get the police or military police to donate.

First we stopped at one police post where I felt really out of place.  The people were super nice, but the room was tiny and they brought in someone "handcuffed" behind his back with a shoelace, sat him down next to me and started interrogating him.  I did feel that God was with us though because as the guy at the desk said he would need to talk to his boss, the boss walked right in.  Then the boss said he would need to talk to his boss and at that moment the phone rang with his boss on the other end.  So he talked to his boss and told us to come back in the morning when there would be more people gathered before they headed out for their shifts.  Police in Honduras can take time from their work day to give blood if they choose to!  While it suits us well on this occasion, I am not sure I like the concept overall, considering there are more homicides here than any place on earth, and almost none of them are solved.  But now is not the time for me to preach about that.

They told us we should go to a bigger post where there would be more people meandering around.  So we went, but it was closed.  The people at the gate told us there is a specific place to go with social workers who keep a list of blood donors.  They gave us directions and told us to go tomorrow during business hours.  We went to one more small police post and they told us to come back at 6:30 a.m. so we can talk to the head guy before role call at 7:30 a.m.

So that is the plan.  We also stopped by Dr. Gustavo's office.  That was my brainstorm.  I was thinking about my low hemoglobin and said that I was going to ask Dr. Gustavo about how to fix it in case Clara is still needing blood in May, when I am eligible to try again.  Then I realized Dr. Gustavo has a radio program which a lot of people listen to every day.  I told Fabricio that we were not going to say a word about the radio program, but if it was God's plan, Dr Gustavo would mention it himself.  And guess what!?!?!?!!!!!!  He asked for the information about how to donate so that he can share it with his listeners tomorrow!  I almost jumped out of my seat, I was so excited.  Fabricio and I believe that could be a big help.

Tomorrow at 8:30 I have to call and remind Dr Gustavo to talk about Clara.  At 11 a.m. I have a meeting about renewing my residency.  Then Fabricio and I will go to the office of social services to see if we can find more donors.

It is crazy to realize you live in a place where you can simply die if you don't have enough people close to you to donate the blood you need.  Blood can be purchased, but Clara needs so much...  And blood is really expensive.

Fabricio and I are talking about giving blood regularly, even when we don't have friends in the hospital.  It feels like the right thing to do.  Especially since the Red Cross makes it easy (if you don't have low hemoglobin) with no wait and a comfortable environment.

It is such an honor to know young men like Luis and Fabricio.  Against all odds, they have grown into incredible examples for the rest of the world, young and old.  I am proud to be part of their lives and will continue to do anything I can to support them.

Please keep Clara and her family in your prayers.  Praise God for people like Fabricio who puts his whole life on hold to fight for the life of someone he still has never spoken to.  And pray that people will respond as Dr. Gustavo speaks on the radio tomorrow while Fabricio and I go back out hunting for blood.

On a different note, the fire season is here again.  The mountains are full of fires and the city is getting full of smoke.  And my house is full of ants.

Climbing Mountains

My heart is so full it could explode!  I have so much to write about I don't know where to start.

Thursday I went to the 4 day retreat for members of Honduran Fellowships of Missionaries and Ministries.  It is through this organization that I will be able to maintain my residency in Honduras.  I also have health care now!  HFMM has over 300 members.  Over 200 came to the retreat!

I kept comparing who I am now with who I was in November when I attended a different retreat for women through WOP.  Sometimes I feel like a completely new person, and in some ways I am.  Sometimes I think I just rediscovered who I was to begin with, before I came to Honduras three years ago.  Both of those concepts are true in different ways.

God has blessed me with so much spiritual healing through my new pastor, Pastora Ruth, that I am not the same person I was in November, the first time I walked into her church.  Not even close.  I have learned and am still learning who I am in God and this makes me a new person.

At the same time, I am remembering the person I was when I was happiest and most fulfilled.  I was self confident.  I was respected.  I was competent.  I haven't felt like I am any of those things in a long time.  Too long.

A woman I met at the retreat is rescuing children and abused women.  She is doing big things all over Honduras.  She educates thousands of people each year, and leads the leaders of this country when it comes to the problem of domestic violence, child abuse and rape.  She is amazing.

People have been telling me for a while that I should meet her, that we have a lot in common.  At that time I didn't know all she was doing and how important she is.  When we were introduced she explained the basics of what she does and I said, "That is very much like what I used to do in Chicago."  Later I attended a workshop she taught and she explained everything that she is doing.  Teaching the police, leading the leaders, and at the same time rescuing those in need.  I was in awe.

She said, "There is no better feeling than running up a mountain with the police to rescue an abused woman.  You find her huddled in a corner, not believing that you are really able to help her and you have to tell her, 'We are here for you.  We came here to help you.  I am going to help you.'  You just hold her and tell her that over and over."

As this heroic woman talked about running up the mountain and embracing the abused woman (who had been to the police four times after her husband repeatedly almost killed her) she demonstrated how she held the woman by wrapping herself around me.  Many people in the workshop were brought to tears.  I was too.

As I was leaving the retreat I talked to her.  (Go me!!!  In November I would never have dared to talk to her after I found out how awesome she really is.)  I said, "I think you have changed my life.  Remember when you told the story about running up the mountain to rescue to abused woman?"

She said, "You were the abused woman?"

I said, "No.  I used to run up mountains.  But I haven't in a long time, and I forgot that I ever could.  Your words helped me to remember what makes my heart beat.  I remember now who I am and what I am capable of.  Thank you."

Yesterday I got home from the retreat and I called Pastor Ruth.  We had an appointment to meet today, but she got too busy at work, so I met with her co-pastor, Pastor Paysen.  He is a really cool German man who understands some of the difficulties of living in another country.  And he speaks English, so we can talk easily.  I can confide in him the same as I do with Pastor Ruth, so I didn't mind at all meeting with Pastor Paysen instead.

I said that I know Ruth was very clear that she wanted me to stop ministering and have a time to receive.  But I believe that I have grown and healed enough to begin serving again, and if they are in agreement I would like to start talking with some ministries.

We talked for a long time.  Turned out we were all on the same page about everything, which was really nice.  I would have been okay if we weren't.  I trust them and would have followed anything they asked of me.  But, it's nice that they see things the same way I do.

After meeting with Pastor Paysen I called a lady I met in October.  Everyone who knows her says she is very special.  Some people from my home church have met her as well and thought she was amazing.  She said that she and I will sit down and talk about if there is a place for me in her ministry.  She even sounded excited, which made me very happy.

My prayer before the call was two things:
1) That my offer to serve in her ministry would be an answer to her prayer
2) That there will be a place there where I can use my God given gifts to do things that are challenging, but that I love to do so I can feel my heart beat with passion like it used to.

Back in November I had such low self confidence, I didn't dare speak to the people I admired.  I thought they wouldn't want to be bothered by me.  But look at me now!  I spoke to the awesome lady at the retreat (We are even friends on Facebook!  Ha ha.  I know that is silly, but it's a big step for me.) and I called the lady whom I admire greatly and said (with confidence!) I would like to lend a hand at her ministry.

I am grateful to the people who have helped me get to this place.  People from my home church in the US, specifically my mentor, Robin, and my friend, Kim were the first to step in.  Pastor Ruth has been the biggest blessing of all.  God placed me into her hands just at the right time.  There are friends here who walk with me on a daily basis like Fany and Carol.  They know when I need space to grow, but are there the instant I need a friend.  God is using this experience to bring me closer to my family too.  For the first time in six years, I think they are starting to understand that maybe it wasn't such a totally insane and horrible thing for me to move to Honduras.  I'm also grateful to people I don't get to talk to as much as I'd like, but I know are praying for me.  Those people include, but are not limited to, my friend Ana and her family here in Honduras, Jody, Mary, Julia, Heather, Arlene, Pat, Sandrine, Danielle, my Aunts, and more that I can't think of right now but are no less important.  Thanks guys!

I have reached base camp.  My bags are full of tools.  I have trained hard.  Can't wait to start climbing mountains again.

Left and right are Daniel and Rocio, new friends
In the middle are my friend Carol and me!

Single missionaries in their 40's.  It was a small group.

Pastor John, head of HFMM
and his pastor, Pastor Ken

Brad and Rebekah came from the US to lead us in worship

We worshiped!

I had the best prayer group of them all.
We were asked to keep it down because our prayer was too loud.
Ooops!