Knowing

At church today the six of us who were chosen, finished a class in "co-pastoring", which basically means that we were trained to step up and help lead the church.

Pastora Ruth said that before we can move forward we need to KNOW that we were called to fulfill this role, so it would be a time of prayer.

First, Pastora Ruth talked to us about the way God called her to be a Pastora. It was insane - her path was SO SO identical to mine. The way the enemy worked against her, the way people were hurtful, the way she felt alone, but sure of God's calling. It was like hearing my own story, only with different characters. I couldn't believe it. Every word she said, I wanted to say, "That happened to me!"

At the very beginning of the class I said to myself, I know in my head that I am called to do this. God has told Pastora Ruth and Pastor Paysen that I am called to pastor people as well. (I don't mean preach, I mean care for people - however that may be.) I knew in my head that I was called. But I asked God to show me in my heart and soul that I was truly called, so I would be sure.

In the end, God spoke to me really clearly. Pastora Ruth saw it happening. She stopped the class and said, "Mary Lynn, receive what God has for you." They prayed over me for a couple of minutes.

As they prayed over me I received a word. I always receive one word and then I have to pray about that word and ask God what he is talking about. Today He gave me the word "KNOW."

So I prayed as they prayed over me and I asked God, "What? Know what? What do you want me to know?"

Turned out, He just wanted me to KNOW. To be sure, that I am called. He was telling me to KNOW it. Not to doubt, or question, or wonder, or think, but to know.

So now I know! I am called to co-pastor with Pastora Ruth and Pastor Paysen! How exciting!!

To me that means to be a support system to them, and to reach out to members of our church as I am called or assigned by them. Obviously always under their authority and with their permission.

I imagined I would be the last of my group to know. I always expect myself to be the weakest and the worst. I never imagined I'd be so confident and sure of my calling! I think I was more sure than almost everyone else. Not that that makes me better than them, it just is unusual. It tells me that I am growing and becoming more confident and relying more on my faith in God.

At noon I picked up Karla from college and we went out to lunch. We've been trying to see each other for a few weeks, but my car is always in the garage. I finally got it back last night, and have to take it back in tomorrow because I ruined a tire in Los Pinos today. But at least I got to see Karla and Erika and Kenya and Lorenzo and the new baby. That was nice!

Karla and I talked to Kenya about getting back into school and about joining Karla's group at Impacto Juvenil, the place where I serve. Kenya said she will do both. But we'll see.

Lorenzo sat playing with the calculator on my phone. I asked him what 6 plus 9 is. He didn't know. He figured out how to type it into the calculator with some help. He doesn't know how to write numbers in the hundreds. He's eleven years old. Poor, sweet, sweet boy. He says he wants to be a police man.

Erika's baby has a ton of hair! Erika is funny. I like being around her in that setting - with her sister and Karla. Erika is more relaxed and I can see more of the real Erika.

As I dropped them off at home with a loaf of homemade banana bread, she said her mother wanted to know if I had any toothbrushes for the boys. A year ago I gave them toothbrushes because Erika saw that I had a couple and told me that nobody in her family had one. I'm guessing those are pretty beaten up by now.

Karla is doing really well, although she says that it is getting harder to live without her mother, not easier. She says she keeps waiting for the day that it doesn't get harder. But she misses talking with her mom about everything. She misses having someone ask where she is going and what time she will be home. She misses her mother's smile and the way her mother drove her nuts teasing her. But she doesn't stay sad long. She says she has a lot of support from her family. Uncles are making sure they have everything they need. There was food in the fridge. (I checked.)

I told her anytime she needs to talk, I am here. She said she appreciates that because she knows I will listen without judging. She gave Erika and Kenya a HUGE, HUGE box of clothes. It was so heavy, they could barely get it down Karla's steep steps. We loaded it into my truck and drove it to their house. Their father had to come and help carry it from the car down the goat path to their house.

I told them now all of Los Pinos will be talking about me giving them clothes, which is not a good thing. But I couldn't deny them a ride home. Now if they only had toothbrushes.

Gabriela Stephany

Check out that hair!