Pics from Lad preaching

Ethel welcoming Lad, with Walter, Lucy and Carlos

Praying for Lad before he preaches

The church blessing Lad

Walter praying for Lad

Lucy, Lad, Ethel

Sunday

Pictures to follow, but yesterday was another great day in Honduras.  Lad spoke at church and was well received.  Everyone liked how he spoke from the heart and made it very clear that K2 and Iglesia en Transformación will continue to partner together.  His message was about giving "mas y mas" (more and more).  He told the church that they are known for the way they love, but that God always wants us to love more.  It was a nice acknowledgment of the good work Iglesia en Transformación is doing, and motivating in the fact that God still wants more.

After church we went to Valle de Angeles, a pretty little town outside of Tegus, for lunch and to wander around.  Since it was Honduran Independence Day, there were a ton of people there.  Little bands were playing with people circled around.  We checked out most of the shops, got some coffee and relaxed.

Today we are going to the super, then to the Breakfast Program.  It will probably be packed because there is no school for any of the kids in honor of the national holiday.  Afterward we will walk into Los Pinos with some of the older boys who are known there as "body guards" so Lad can have a chance to see some of the homes there.  I am hoping we will have time to go to the Jesus Statue on the way home before we have dinner with the Vermonts  and some other members of the church.

Tomorrow Lad will leave.  I never thought about it before, I think when he leaves I am going to have that feeling like you have after a vacation you have looked forward to for a long time and then you have to go back to every day life.  I love my every day life.  But having Lad here, sharing this place and these people with him, has been really great.  I will be a little sad when he is gone.  In the meantime we are enjoying every minute!

3 dinners and a trip around the city

I ate 3 dinners tonight.  Each of them were delicious, but I am suffering from exhaustion mixed with food coma.

This morning we went to La Tigra to celebrate The Day of the Child with the kids there.  I don't know the kids in La Tigra very well, but I have always really liked them.  They live in poverty, but it is a different kind of poverty than the Los Pinos kids.  Their household income may be little or nothing and their homes are very simple, but they generally have a more supportive family life and live in a safer environment.  They have difficulty accessing resources because they are so far from the city and most don't own a vehicle.  So they have their own struggles.

Their party was more simple.  They had piñatas that they had made themselves, a fruit salad and a little paper bag of gifts.  They played traditional games, had scavenger hunts, jumped rope and played soccer for hours.  Lad and I joined in.

I told Lad he had to get his picture taken at the on the overlook because every member of K2 who has been to La Tigra has this picture.

I thought we were taking a walk to show Lad where many people from K2 (including me) were baptized, but we ended up doing the ropes course which is new and improved.  I did skip the mud pit and walking on the tree, but we did a rock climb and a tight rope walk that wasn't there before.  It was really fun.  Gerardo, who is the head of everything in La Tigra now, Erik, my landlords, Lad and I all went.  We ended up at the place where I was baptized.  I was trying to get a better view of where the water goes after if flows out of the pond and down the ravine when I slipped and fell into the water.  I almost slid right down and got washed away, but caught myself.  It was scary.  Then I had wet pants for the next 2 hours.

Erik on the tightrope 

Lad rock climbing

Carlos, Lad and I after I almost slid down the ravine

After a quick shower Hermida fed us homemade chicken soup and bread.  Then we headed down to the jovenes group.  It was a nice meeting about the traditions and culture of Honduras.  Walter and Jose talked to the kids about being proud of their culture and their beautiful country.  That was very cool.  They showed movies of all the beautiful places in Honduras, but then talked about how the kids could also experience culture within their own city.  They served a traditional meal with 3 entrees, 3 deserts, horchata and coffee.  Lad is starting to see the same kids repeatedly, so some faces are familiar to him.

Don Juan had invited us to his house for dinner.  We almost didn't go because he doesn't live in a great neighborhood, but we considered the fact that Don Juan does not invite people to his house.  This was a special honor.  So in the end, with some counsel from Carlos and Hermida, we decided that it was something we should do.  Don Juan really, really likes Lad.  Well, everyone really, really likes Lad.  But Don Juan is a person who normally sits back and observes.  He told me that Lad is the nicest Gringo he has ever met.  He told Carlos something similar.

So we went to Don Juan's house for dinner.  It was a great meal - tacos Honduran style, which is a tortilla wrapped into a tube, stuffed with meat and deep fried, topped with a cabbage salad and cheese.  By this point my tummy was bursting.  I explained that I loved the food, but was full and Lad finished mine.  On the way home he said that he was not at all hungry, but that if he had to "take one for the team" that was not a bad way to do it.  We talked with Don Juan, his wife Dora and their 2 kids Moises and Nancy for a while.  Then we got a text from Hermida, which meant it was time to head home.  I called her to say I was on the way home after we left.  She was relieved.

But then we got lost.  And I hit a big pot hole which could have popped a tire.  (We are hoping it won't be flat in the morning.)  Then I got more lost. I considered calling Hermida, but I didn't even know where we were and I didn't want to freak her out.  I knew the city lights were on the right hand side and they should have been on the left, so we turned around.  Then I saw a sign for El Anillo which is the road I wanted, but I thought it meant to turn there and really it meant to stay straight.  We got really turned around.  At least we were lost in a wealthy neighborhood.  There were security guards and police all hanging around outside a gated community.  I asked for directions, and they told me to go back where I had come from, but they didn't seem too sure.

I headed back and thought I knew where I was, but got nervous and stopped at a gas station.  The guard told me the only way to get home was to go downtown by Hospital Escuela.  I told him I can't go there at night, there has to be a different way.  So he called over his buddy.  Thank God his friend knew exactly where I needed to go.  He said if we get lost again, only ask directions from taxi drivers.  Don't stop and ask just any person because it's not safe.  We got all oriented and it ended up I was headed in exactly the right direction.  Turned out I was really close to the same route I drive every day.  If I had driven 3 more minutes I would have known exactly where I was.  Finally we were headed home, almost an hour later.  I called Hermida to tell her we were lost, but now were found.  She sounded extremely worried.  I felt horrible because Lad has to preach in the morning and we both were exhausted, but at least we made it home safe and sound in the end.  And at least I wasn't all alone.  That would have been scary.  Now I realize what I did wrong and won't make that mistake again.  It was a long day, but a really good one.

Sorry if there are typos.  I am too tired to proof read this tonight.

Lad is here!

Everyone was bustling around the church today.  It was like a Honduran version of Downton Abbey, with all of us doing last minute things in preparation for Lad to come.  I realized I hadn't put the chairs back after I mopped the classroom yesterday, so Meylin helped with that.  Then Ana, 2 boys and I got to work washing my car.  Don Juan was busy doing other things.  Of course it started raining as soon as we finished, but I was cleaner than before.

I started taking pictures at the airport, of the airport sign, of the video feed, but then I got so excited I forgot to take a picture of Lad coming out of the glass doors!  Nestor was there to help with his bags, which was so kind.  We got some things straightened out and then headed out to have lunch.

Ethel was thinking Lad might like to ease into things so she asked if he wanted to go to Chili's or try Honduran food.  He said he would be crazy not to want to eat Honduran food so we went to a place called Orgulloso Catracho (proud Honduran).  It was all kinds of means and traditional side dishes.  We all enjoyed our lunches and had a nice talk.

Then the food coma settled in.  All of us were sleepy, but Lad was exhausted after leaving SLC at 1 a.m. so he took a nap.  Eunice and I went to my house and sat on the balcony chatting.  Then it was time for dinner.  Ethel asked the church committee to meet Lad tonight at dinner.  We ate at a Brazilian restaurant like Fogo de Chao with a salad bar and lots of meat.  Some of the committee are going to be gone for the weekend so it was nice that Lad got to meet them tonight.

It is cool to see how the 2 churches are on the same page with so many things - discipleship and small groups being of great importance to both.  Everyone was really excited to meet Lad and he seemed to enjoy meeting them too.  I am learning that people here whom I never heard speak English before, actually speak really well.  Very interesting.

Tomorrow we will go to the Breakfast Program in the morning.  In the afternoon the church is doing a big presentation about everything they have planned for the future so that Lad can understand the vision of Iglesia en Transformación.  At night we are going to Carla and Jose's house for dinner.  I can't wait for him to meet the kids and the ladies at the Breakfast Program.  Everyone is eager to meet him.  We are going to get there early enough that he can stand near Eunice's office and greet all of the kids as they come in.  It should be a fun day!

6:22

It is 6:22 a.m.  I have already done a load of wash, seasoned and cooled the beans, ironed 2 shirts and mopped the floor.  Oh, and I read the first two chapters of Extraordinary Woman.  Woke up at 4:30 and couldn't go back to sleep.  Excited/nervous for Lad's visit.  Mostly excited.

Rainbow

Someone could have told me that the people throw urine, not beer, in their beer cups at the soccer game!  Yesterday when Jose left my backpack at the church it had my shampoo, toothbrush and a change of clothes in it.  This morning I went to the church without brushing my teeth or washing my hair.  In the afternoon I commented that I hadn't taken a shower since the game and at that point - almost 24 hours later - they told me that people don't throw cups of beer (which I did think was wasteful) they throw urine!  Gross.  I had already changed the sheets on my bed this morning.  All that was left to do was shower.

Don Juan and I cleaned the inside of my car today in preparation for Lad coming.  We took all of the carpeting out and cleaned everything.  We decided to leave the outside for tomorrow because it looked like rain and we figured my car would get muddy.  We figured right.  It rained all of the way home.

I got a schedule of Lad's time here.  I am starting to get a little nervous.  I wasn't nervous at all when I translated for the team in Costa Rica.  But this time I am a little nervous.  Not sure why.  I guess it is really important to me that he enjoys his time here and is able to communicate easily with everyone.  It's also important to me that the people in my church here are able to communicate well with him.  They wouldn't have asked me to do something that I am not capable of.  I don't know why I am doubting myself.  I talk with them in Spanish every day.

Last night I was so wound up from the game I couldn't fall asleep until 1:30 a.m..  Tonight I want to get some sleep because I need to be fully rested for Lad's visit.

Driving to work this morning a plane came really close to the side of the mountain.  It brought back bad feelings on September 11th.  I've never seen a plane in that area and I know the planes all come in at noon, not at 9 a.m.  It was a little scary.  On the way home tonight Belinda said, "Look at the rainbow!"  I was driving and couldn't see it for a while.  Then I turned the corner and saw it.  It was the most enormous rainbow I have ever seen, with bold, bright colors.  It was completely full.  At one point it looked like it ended behind my house.  The picture doesn't show how bold it was.  It was beautiful.

My first Olé!

Today was like 3 days packed into one.  It started out at the Breakfast Program, like normal.  Ashely and her Mom were there right at 9:30 when they opened the gates.  I was happy to see that!  Although we celebrated The Day of the Child last Friday, it was actually today.  We celebrate it on a different day because otherwise half the world shows up just to get presents and gifts.  The original plan was a small acknowledgement of The Day of the Child today, then a birthday lunch for Eunice, tire shopping for Jose, and then the fútbol game.

However, all plans changed when we learned that Clara needs surgery and in order to have surgery she needed 2 people to donate blood.  I offered to donate since I am O+ and can match with anyone.  A boy who never normally comes to the Breakfast Program said he woke up this morning and felt called to go.  He wasn't sure why until he realized he, too, has O+ blood.  His name is Fabricio.

Marlin had a Dr appt at the same hospital and Jacky came along to be sure Fabricio and I figured out where we were supposed to go and what we were supposed to do.  We were actually really lucky to have her because thanks to her we were the first ones to leave.  Some people had been at the hospital since 5 a.m. but Jacky knows how to get things done!

We left the hospital at 4.  Friends had been waiting for us since the gates opened at 3 but they couldn't get in because I had all of the tickets.  Poor Fabricio was pacing and pacing while he waited for them to call his name to give blood.  Partly because he was anxious to go to the game, and in part because we all needed to use the bathroom but they closed the bathrooms at 3 p.m.  That hospital is nuts.

We didn't expect to spend the whole day there.  We thought we'd be done by 11:30.  I hadn't brought my backpack with my raincoat and sweatshirt.  The streets were at a standstill when we left the hospital.  Jose kept calling every few minutes while we were stuck in traffic.  We had only moved a few feet and he would call again.  Finally he said I should pull the car over at the next gas station, pay one of the guards and park there.  I pulled into the gas station but nobody was parked there.  The main guard was a young guy with a big automatic weapon.  Fabricio walked up to him on foot at the same time that I pulled over in my car.  Fabricio let me do the talking, which I didn't think was the best idea at first but I was wrong.

I told the guard I was looking for a place to park while we went to the game.  He said they have strict rules that nobody is allowed to park there.  But I was determined, so I just said, "And..."  He said the rules are enforced.  I smiled and said, "And".  I saw him start to soften.  He said one more thing about the rules.  I kept my smile and repeated my "And".  And then he said that he thought he could let me park there, in the third spot from the left.  I said thank you and asked if we should come back to see him (to pay him) after we park.  He said no, he was doing this from his own willingness.  So I got a free parking space!

As Fabricio and I sprinted through the rain to find our friends (me in flip flops that splattered mud up the back of my pants and have my feet cramping even at this moment) Fabricio announced that he thought his ticket was bad and he would have to buy a new one.  I asked why.  He said it had a mark on it.  I said it's just a smudge, it will be fine.  Buy he was clearly worried.  In Honduras if your cash has any marks or the slightest tear, nobody will accept it.  I'm sure he thought the ticket was the same.  He kept listening each time we passed a scalper, sure he would have to return to buy another ticket.  I told him your ticket is fine.  It will get you inside.  He said yes, that is the way I need to think.  But later he told me that he had been really worried.

We caught up with Jose, Danny from La Tigra, and a friend of Jose's.  Then we ran further in the rain.  When I told Jose I had to go to the bathroom he was not happy.  He didn't think it was safe or sanitary to use the bathroom in the stadium.  I told him we had been waiting for hours and unless he could find another place, I had to use the bathroom in the stadium.  Turned out the bathroom in the stadium was fine.  No toilet paper, but that is to be expected in any public bathroom in Honduras.  There was also no garbage can in a country where you can't flush your toilet paper, so there was a pile.  I was happy I went before the game started because the pile was still small.  Sounds grosser than it was.

Got my cheek painted with a Honduran flag.  A tv camera passed down the line of people who were waiting to get in.  When it got to Fabricio and me it stayed way longer than for anyone else so we cheered and jumped up and down for the camera.  I'll hear tomorrow if we were on tv tonight.

The whole stadium experience was awesome.  I kept wishing I had brought my phone to take pictures, but I figured that was not a safe idea.  Turned out it wasn't a safe idea.  I bought a blue soccer flag and it got stolen out from under a lady's butt.  One second it was there, the next it was gone.  I was sad.  But as we were saying good bye Fabricio told me he left me a gift in my car.  It was another flag.  He is such a sweet boy!  I am glad I got the chance to hang out with him today because I see him every week at church but he is always really quiet, so I had never really talked to him before.  I enjoyed getting to know him better.

The whole time I was in the stadium I kept wishing I had brought a pen and paper.  There were so many things I wanted to share in my blog.  I can't remember them all but I'll try to hit the highlights.

The stadium didn't have any individual seats that I saw.  It may have had a few on the other side.  Everything was solid concrete.  We searched for a space and finally found one big enough for all of us.  They weren't the best seats because we got there late.  But I didn't care.  I was so excited to be there.  As we sat down and watched the place fill up I had the most amazing time soaking up my surroundings.  The Jesus Statue and the Coca Cola sign were on the side of the mountain behind the stadium directly in my line of sight.  I wished I had my camera.  It was awesome.

Soon we were squeezed in, sitting hip to hip with our knees pinned together.  You can't call it shoulder to shoulder because we weren't.  Our shoulders were too broad to fit, so we had to wedge them in sideways.  Finally at about 6:30 the team came out to stretch.  Fabricio and I stood up to watch.  Jose kept telling us to sit down.  I wasn't sure why.  All I knew was that I had been sitting in the hospital all day and it was too squishy to sit any longer.  I thought Jose was concerned we would tire and not be able to stand through until the end of the game.  But that wasn't it.  More on that later...

When the other team came onto the field many people booed.  I felt uncomfortable.  I felt more uncomfortable when they booed as their flag was brought out.  I felt horrible when people booed and blew their noise makers during the other team's national anthem.  Jose said he didn't like it either.

To cheer on their own team people thrust their arms straight out toward the team and chant "HON-DU-RAS!" then clap, clap, clap,  "HON-DU-RAS!" clap clap clap.   Jose's friend bought me a noise maker so I blew it like others did during the claps.  I got so excited when I heard my first "Olééé!  Olé Olé Olé!"  I couldn't believe I was experience it live!  Later in the game I realized they also use the Olé chant as the players pass the ball.  When one player kicks it they yell "O" and when the next person receives it they finish with the "lé".  Then they start again with the "O" when he kicks it to the third player and "lé" when it is safely received by another Honduran teammate.  This continues until the ball is intercepted by the other team.  It gets more exciting the longer the exchanges go on without interception.

Being part of the crowd is fun, until Honduras makes a goal.  Then the people throw their paper cups of beer as far as they can.  Thankfully, beer is not a very common beverage at a Honduran soccer game.  But my hair was pretty sticky by the time we left.  When you are not getting drenched with beer, it is really fun.  People do the wave.  They also do this thing that looks like a rowing crew.  You grab the person's shoulders in front of you and push them forward forcefully, then yank them back.  It looks really cool across the stadium but it is also really fun to do.  We also did it side to side.  Everyone is wedged in so tight it is fun to move as a unit, shoving the person next to you one way and the other.  To celebrate a goal, everyone jumps up and down and hugs each other.  Then you quickly sit back down.  In a country where few people bother to follow the law, everyone sits down during the whole soccer game.  They only stand when the team is close to making a goal.  If you stand too long, people yell at you to sit down.  It is a rule that is very strictly followed.  I was surprised by that.  They don't pay attention to traffic lights, but they sure do sit down during soccer games in Honduras.

I kept checking the big screen out of habit, but it wasn't much help in following the game.  It did show live footage before the game of the teams stretching and the flags they carried onto the field for the National Anthems.  It showed men talking, but you couldn't hear what they were saying.  During the game there was no live footage.  There was also no time clock.  At the end of the game I noticed a man standing on the side of the field with a digital clock that counted down the last 3 minutes for the players to see.

From the time the stadium opened until the very last second when the crowds rushed outside after the game, vendors passed constantly.  They sold everything you can imagine - noise makers, flags, hats, headbands, soda, beer, individual cigarettes, gum, different ice cream products, and a huge variety of food.  There were also stands in the hallways that had lots of food which looked really good, but Jose said we could only eat Pizza Hut pizza or Chicken Campero.  He said it was too risky to buy something else because we could get sick.  They venders had hamburgers, plantain chips with all kinds of toppings and sauces, baleadas, and lots of other things I can't think of right now.

Jose pointed out the spot where he wanted us to sit, but I was glad we hadn't gotten those seats.  Apparently there were some trouble makers there.  The police had to go up there twice and pull people out of the crowd.  It looked crazy from where we were.  They had marched out before the game in full riot gear with shields and helmets with face masks.  They had wooden bats.  They were stationed throughout the crowd, but it was really impressive when they marched out and lined the whole stadium, making a barrier between the crowd and the field.  As though there weren't fences and nets.  The field was impenetrable.  I told Jose in the states our security is usually some overweight guy in a polo shirt who stands there, leaning against the wall.  The security in Honduras was pretty intense.  Plus I got a full pat down on my way in.

Right now US is in first place and guaranteed to go to the World Cup in Brazil.  Honduras is in third place, so we are hopeful!  I can't wait to go to another soccer game.  But the next game is scheduled to be in San Pedro Sula, which is not only THE most dangerous city on earth, it is also a pretty far drive.  I'm not sure when I'll be able to see a game again.  But I am looking forward to it.  My first soccer game in Honduras was awesome!

Lots of new faces

We had 15 preschoolers in the Breakfast Program today, including three new boys who were sweet but not accustomed to the structure of a classroom (understandable), a one year old in diapers who screamed and cried until he almost hyperventilated, and a two year old whose mother has never left her behind before.  Needless to say it was not easy, but it went pretty well overall.

Belinda was able to see (or maybe she was able to hear) that a one year old is not a good fit for the preschool, so she said he will not be in the class again.  When the kindergarten teacher from Canada was here, she said I should only have 4-6 year olds in the preschool class.  But I have to do as I am told.  So we are getting by with two and three year olds.  The older kids aren't learning as much as they could and the two - three year olds aren't getting the attention they need.  I guess some classroom time is better than no classroom time.

The ladies checked me over for lice and found nothing at all.  I was surprised.  This morning I had myself convinced that I was still infested.  We had an impromptu bible study today with the ladies at the Breakfast Program.  I was supposed to have a meeting with Belinda about her expectations and my wishes for the Breakfast Program, but it never happened.

I am really excited about the soccer game tomorrow.  Wednesday I will get all of my errands done so I am free when my pastor from K2 comes.  I think I am going to be with him all of the time when he is not at his host family's house.  We will be busy!

A new lady came to help at the Breakfast Program today.  She has a 3 year old daughter who is very cute.  Lourdes's mother discovered that they are homeless, without food and have only the clothes on their back.  However, they appear very clean.  Isabella is well educated.  She speaks great English.  But her family are not supportive and Ashley's father left.  We are on the lookout for clothes for them both.  We'll try to be sure they eat.  We will pray they get a place to stay.  I really like Isabella so far.  She seems very calm and sweet.  Her daughter Ashley seems happy, despite their struggles.

They came late today because the bus that is cheapest only runs a few times/day.  They come from pretty far away.  I wish it was near where I have to drive because I would offer her a ride, but it is far.  I'm thinking it is cheaper to help them with bus fare.  We can really use Isabella's help in the kitchen since Marlin is having her baby next month.

Isabella didn't attend the preschool class today because she came too late.  She isn't talking to us yet, but she does talk to her mother.  She smiles a lot and seems friendly if not talkative.  After hearing about her situation I was happy that I hadn't rushed Ashley in any way.  She came when we were cleaning up for Lorenzo's class.  I was tempted to let her sit and eat while I started working with Lorenzo.  That probably would have been fine, but I sat down with her and made small talk while she ate slowly.  Very slowly.  I wanted to encourage her to eat faster, but for some reason I didn't.  She deserves to have a nice lunch with some company.  It will be nice when she starts talking.  I hope Ashley and Isabella are able to be a daily part of the Breakfast Program from now on.

Weekend Update

The past 24 hours has been a blur.  Not sure why exactly.  I went back down to Karla and Jose's house to spend the night as we had originally planned more than a week ago.  We went to the mall to see if the banks were still selling tickets for the soccer game, but it was sold out so we had to go to the scalpers outside the stadium.  Since Honduras won Friday everyone wants to go to the game Tuesday.

Then we stopped at the church.  Jose had to oversee the youth group and Karla had to meet with the elders.  I observed the Ester Project.  My friend Raquel runs it.  She is due to have her first baby in November and she needs some help.  I don't know if I am the right person for the job.  There are still a lot of words that I am not familiar with when it comes to bible language in Spanish.  Some bible language in English is a little strange, so imagine teaching it in a different language.  The Ester Project is awesome though.  It is for girls who are 11-14ish.  It teaches values and how to live as a Christian.  I love the girls who are in the program.  They would be patient with my Spanish if I did help lead it.  But I think there could be someone that would do a better job right now.  It is something that I aspire to be a part of when I learn more "Bible Spanish".

I should learn more biblical terms quickly because I am joining 3 different groups.  One is a discipleship that I have to do before I am allowed to join a small group.  The second is a book club.  We are reading 12 Extraordinary Women and the men of the church are reading 12 Ordinary Men.  Also, starting in 2 weeks I will join a bible study.  Actually it is a formal class that my landlord Hermida has been going to for 6 months.  She and Jairo both thought it would be great for me.  I definitely agree, especially after sitting in with the girls of the Ester Project.  All of these things should help me become more fluent in my biblical Spanish.

After dinner last night Karla, Jose and I watched a movie.  Part way through I noticed Karla had fallen asleep.  Then I started falling asleep too so I told Jose I was going to bed.  We never finished the movie.  It was only 10:30.  This morning the girls were awake early.  I heard them doing the Zumba workout for the 3rd time in 2 days.  One of them passed by my door and I said good morning.  The next thing I knew my bed was covered in stuffed animals, bears to be specific.  Dana, Valery and I played until we were late for church.  Karla got a chance to sleep in and Jose got to read his 12 Ordinary Men.

At church they announced that my pastor from the US is coming to visit this week and will preach next weekend.  I am sooooo excited!  Afterward I was talking to a man who is known to have the gift of prophecy.  I told him I am excited to see how all of this is unfolding between the two churches, that my church in the US wants to support us in any way they can and that I think it will be a great visit.  He stopped me and said, "This is going to be a big blessing for you."  I told him it is a blessing for the whole church!  He took my arm to get my attention and said, "No.  Listen.  This is going to be a big blessing for you.  Take it."  I didn't really know what to say to that, so I said thank you for telling me.  He said again, "It is going to be a big blessing for you.  Take it.  Take it."  I said okay and thanked him again.  Then he said, "You are blessing others so you are going to be blessed in a big way.  Take it."  I think he even said it more times, but you get the point.  I don't know what exactly it means, but we'll see!  God often speaks to him.  In fact I am pretty sure God told him that the Sarmientos would leave and now...

Everyone at church liked my Carlos Costly picture on Facebook.  I told them I am going to the game Tuesday.  They love that I am enjoying their culture so much.

After church we learned that the tire on Karla and Jose's car which popped yesterday was stripped by the kids who tried to help Karla change her flat.  Jose and a mechanic spent hours today trying to get the tire off.  They are going to have to cut it off and Jose has to ask his job for a pay advance because he can't afford the whole tire.  They are not sure when they will be able to pay to get the car fixed.  Ugh.  It is tough to work full time, raise 2 kids (one with special needs), go to school full time, and deal with extra crap like that.  I am going to help them as much as I can with rides but we live almost an hour from each other and don't have similar schedules at all.

Jose and Dana took me to buy an official Honduras soccer jersey this afternoon.  I got a free Honduras umbrella with it!  I am excited to wear my new jersey to the game, but I realized that I bought the shirt that is for away games.  :(  Jose said it doesn't matter.

I finally got a full length mirror for my house.  I've been getting a little bigger than I like to be over the past couple weeks.  I think it was all of the going away parties for Lourdes and Jairo.  Even my big pants are starting to get tight, so I figured a mirror might help.  Although my Honduran friends think it's great, I am not comfortable.  I am going to start doing the Insanity Workout after my pastor from the US visits.  We are going to have some long days when he is here, so I don't want to start now and then not stick with it.  Yesterday Dana Sofia (Karla and Jose's 6 year old) and I did Zumba.  I got a good idea of just how out of shape I have become.

When I got home tonight Carlos, my landlord, was still fixing my washing machine.  He started yesterday after the guy who was supposed to come didn't show up.  I felt bad that he was still working on it tonight.  He seemed okay with it.  I think he is almost as excited as I am about my pastor from K2 coming to visit.  Carlos is going to accompany us on Friday and Saturday.  He took a day off from work as soon as I told him that Lad was visiting!  Carlos is the vice president of the elders and a great guy, so I am glad that he will get a chance to spend time with Lad.

Lice update:  I feel like I still have a few.  I am not as itchy as I was, and nothing comes out when I comb my hair with the special comb, but I still have some itches that don't feel normal.  We'll see tomorrow when I get my next check up from the ladies at the Breakfast Program.

GOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Yesterday Jose called me in the middle of The Breakfast Program's celebration of El Dia del Niño and asked if I wanted to watch the game with Karla and him at their house.  I said sure! So last night we made submarine sandwiches completely North American style (without ketchup and mustard and mayonnaise mixed together) and watched the game.  It was pretty pathetic in the beginning.  Honduras could not keep possession of the ball.  They had a daunting task in front of them.  NOBODY wins against Mexico when Mexico plays at home.  But we did!  We won 2-1.  Carlos Costly scored the first goal.  Here is a picture of me with him when I flew home in June and the team was on the same flight:

It is fun watching games with Karla and Jose.  Each time Honduras scores a goal we scream until our voices are hoarse and we run around the house, jumping on the furniture.  Hahaha!  Now Dana Sofia is old enough to do it with us, but mostly she looks at us like we're crazy.  Poor Valery was asleep but our screaming woke her up and she sat in a daze, eating chips for the rest of the game.

Jose and I are going this afternoon to buy tickets for a home game on Tuesday!!!!!  I am really excited.  I think I am going to buy an official jersey if I can afford it.  I hope the tickets don't sell out now, since they won last night!

The official Day of the Child is next Tuesday, but the First Lady's sister came yesterday to celebrate with our kids from The Breakfast Program.  She brought 4 piñatas and a big toy for each child.  Plus we had birthday cake.  The wife of a guy who is running for president also came.  I asked who she was and was told she is the wife of "Papi a la Orden" which is his campaign slogan.  It means his nickname is Papi and he is "at your service".  Kind of a funny slogan I think.

I wasn't aware they were coming yesterday so I didn't bring a camera and my phone was almost dead.  I got a few pictures but couldn't upload them.  The kids had a great time and were very well behaved.  We had a few party crashers (local kids who only come to the Breakfast Program when they hear there will be gifts), but that is to be expected.  Only the kids who come every day got the special presents.

I am off to the mall to buy tickets for the game.  The ladies of the Breakfast Program have declared me officially lice free.  I really wanted a picture of them - 3 of them sitting around me on the steps of the church pulling my head onto their laps and digging through my hair.  I find it hard to believe that I could be lice free.  It seems too soon.  But they are definitely experts and I am not itching like before.  I will still follow up with the shampoo next week and continue to use the special comb each time I shower.

Highlight and low point

Today was busy.  I forgot to upload the photos from yesterday.

The highlight of my day was when Lorenzo and his buddy, Christian, decided to play with the stove in my classroom during Lorenzo's playtime.  They cooked me eggs, sausage, fried platanos, fried bologna, hot cocoa, coffee with extra sugar and fresh juice.  And more eggs.  And pancakes.  I may not be hungry for a long time just thinking about all of the food I pretended to eat.

I asked Lorenzo if he ate lunch yesterday, since there was no Breakfast Program.  He said no.  Then I asked if he had breakfast.  Nope.  My heart dropped.  I asked if he ate at all yesterday.  He said yes.  He had chicken and something else.  My ears stopped listening at chicken because I was shrieking for joy in my head.  Lorenzo had chicken yesterday!

After all of the cooking I showed Lorenzo and Christian how to use the toy blender.  They had never seen a blender before.  We made liquados (milkshakes) with sound effects and everything.  Then I suggested instead of just feeding me, they share with Belinda or Don Juan.  They were not keen on that idea, but I didn't catch on fast enough.  Playing with girls' toys in the safety of the classroom was fun, but I didn't realize they didn't want to let anyone else know they were not playing according to their gender roles.  I convinced them to take drinks out to Don Juan and Marlin.  The drinks were well received, but I was sad to see that when we returned to the classroom the boys never touched the cooking stuff again.  They got out trucks and fireman stuff.  :(

The low point of my day was when one of the mothers of the Breakfast Program borrowed my lice comb, filled it with live lice and left it for me to clean.  I used that special shampoo today and Marlin combed out my hair.  She said all she could find were baby eggs.  Jacky took a look too and found a few more eggs, but I was not as infested as I thought.

It was really strange to me that not one kid or adult commented at all when I washed my hair, walked around with a towel on my head for ten minutes, and then sat while Marlin combed out my hair.  Lice is such a fact of life that not one single person commented.  In fact Don Juan and some of the boys helped look through my hair for eggs.  I'll admit I was a little embarrassed at the start of the process, but when I realized nobody cared, I stopped caring too.

I am washing all of my clothes and bedding in cold water, because that is all I have, and drying them for a really long time.  My dryer doesn't get that hot, but hopefully it gets hot enough to kill lice.  I am still staying pretty calm, but when I saw the enormous pile of clothes and bedding that need to be washed, it did feel overwhelming.

One of the Moms - the same one who borrowed my comb for her louse infected child, said the same thing I was saying yesterday with a little twist.  I said I am now officially part of the Breakfast Program after getting lice.  She said I am now officially Catracha (Honduran) because I have lice.  I don't think that all Hondurans have lice.  But sadly I do think everyone in her world does.

My lice comb is now clean, thanks to Don Juan's help.  I will never leave a used lice comb lying around at the Breakfast Program again.

Today I was having a "discussion" with someone who keeps blaming me for something that is not my fault.  I took Jairo's advice from the day before he left and stood up for myself.  I said it is not my fault and explained why.  Unfortunately the person was not listening.  They were more intent on telling me that other people were mad at me too.  Finally someone I never expected to come to my aid stepped up and took my side!  It felt great.  I am going to continue to stand up for myself in a respectful way.

I have Piojos

This morning I came to the conclusion that I have lice.  I have been expecting this day to come, considering that the children and even the mothers of the Breakfast Program all have lice.  I don't want to wear my hair up every single day of my life - the kids hug me at church on Sundays too, so I decided a long time ago that if I got lice I would deal with it.

I figure I did pretty well.  In a couple weeks it will have been a year and 1/2 of lice free hugging.  I am trying to stay mellow about it.  I asked Marlin to check me before we went to the airport to say goodbye to the Sarmientos.  She confirmed my belief.  I think I am pretty infested because she found a bunch and I am itching a lot.  I never had lice before.  I didn't realize how intensely it itches.

When I told Eunice she couldn't stop laughing.  I'm glad I am a constant source of comic relief for her.  I've asked a couple of people from the states who have had to deal with this.  Everyone is telling me to wash everything in hot water and dry it on high heat.  Well folks, I do not live in North America.  That is not possible for me.  The worst part is that it's been cold so I have a lot of bedding on my bed and it is all freshly clean  :(  My Aunt is telling me to bag it up for a month.  I may freeze to death before I get rid of these darn things.  But now I have a better idea of why the Moms in Los Pinos can't get rid of them.

So tomorrow I will head (hahaha, I wrote that without thinking) down to the Breakfast Program early, stop and buy a bottle of some sort of lice shampoo and a fine toothed comb, which I have now learned to say correctly.  Comb and the male genitalia have very similar names and I think I said it wrong today to the head of the church elders.  In fact I am sure I said it wrong to her.  Anyway.  Marlin is going to shampoo me and comb out my hair.  Thank God for Marlin.  She said she finds 3 lice every night in her daughter's hair.  Gosh.  What a crappy thing to deal with every single day.

BUT it has distracted me from the difficulty of saying goodbye to the Sarmientos.  They were all very strong and positive.  We took lots of pictures which I will upload tomorrow.  Lourdes's mom was even  very strong.  I think it will be hardest on her brother, Nestor.  They almost missed their plane.  At the third and final call to board the flight, Lourdes was still wrapped in her sister's arms and had yet to pass through security.  Luckily we were the only ones in the airport.  We said goodbye on one side, then ran to the other so we could wave at them from the top of the stairs after they passed through security and walked down the glass hallway to the gate.  I love it when Jairo does that for me, so I wanted to be sure we stood and waved to them.

I talked to Samuel Matute about a bunch of cool ideas he has for the Breakfast Program.  He wants the kids to go to a soccer field on Saturday mornings and get trained by a professional trainer!  He also wants to offer music lessons to some of the kids from Los Pinos.  He said anything else we can think of to enrich their lives, he would love to know.  I asked if he will be able to meet my pastor who is visiting from the US next weekend.  He said yes, and he was going to ask my pastor to send 4 more of me to serve at Iglesia en Transformación.  That was a nice compliment.

Walter's mechanic has been gone for over a week and I want my car to be running well when Lad (my US pastor)  gets here, so I think I am going to have to go to the agencia (dealership).  It will cost more, but we don't know when the guy we trust is ever coming back.  I don't want to leave the car with someone we don't trust and hope that it gets done before next Thursday.

I figure this is a very fitting day for me to get lice.  It makes me feel like I officially fit in to the Breakfast Program at a time when so much is up in the air.  Wish me luck getting rid of it.  Any advice is surely appreciated!

Early morning ponderings

Woke up at 1:30 and couldn't get back to sleep.  I am reminding myself how many people I have still to support me after Jairo and Lourdes leave.  Yesterday Eunice gave me a huge hug and said, "We love you."  I know she is one person I can always talk to.  Both of my landlords have told me very directly that they want to support me in any way they can and I can go to them any time.  I know that I have Karla and Jose, same as always.  My friend Marlin is always happy to listen, as are Raquel and Nicolle.  There are others at the church who are supportive.  Plus I have good friends in the states and my Mom there.  I talked to her for a long time yesterday.

I will be okay without the Sarmientos.  I am used to having the Sarmientos here as my main support system, but I have others who have told me they want to step into their place.  What a blessing it is that people are thinking of ME in this time of so many changes!  Jairo said he will still be checking in on me.  I will make him proud.

I am happy for the Sarmientos.  This is a huge blessing from God.  They will be safer.  The kids will have opportunities that aren't available to them in Honduras.  But in this moment it is a big change.  They are leaving all of their friends and family here, the country they love, the food the love, the customs they are used to, and their whole way of life.  This is a new start for them, and for us as we move on without them.  I hope the people in the US are as good to them as they were to me when I moved here.

I don't want to go to the airport.  I hate saying goodbye.

The Last Lunch

Today was my last chance to say goodbye to Jairo.  I will go to the airport with the other hordes of people who are seeing them off tomorrow.  But today was my time to try to express to him the gratitude and appreciation I have for all he has done over the past year and 1/2 for me.  The problem is that no words are sufficient.  How do you thank someone for always, always being there for you?  For over a year, I rode to the church with Jairo 6 days every week.

I am a person who has a tendency to feel like I am a burden to others.  I don't like to ask for things and I don't like to get in the way.  For over a year, Jairo drove me everywhere I needed to go.  Never once did he allow me to feel like it was a burden to him.  He took me grocery shopping whenever I asked.  He took me to doctor appointments and all over the city to pharmacies to buy medicine when my hair was falling out.  He made sure I had everything I needed and wanted.  And he made sure I was always safe.  I don't know anyone else in the world who would take in someone they barely know and care for them in such a way.  But Jairo and his family did.

So today I was supposed to say thank you for all of that.  I had thought and thought about a gift.  Unfortunately nothing came to mind.  I think there will be ways for me to thank them while they are in the US.

So today as Jairo sat in his usual chair in Eunice's office I looked at him and told him that I had to say Goodbye.  He said, "Aren't you coming to the airport tomorrow?"  I said yes and burst into tears.  Don Juan looked at me like I was nuts.  I am crying as I write this.  I am excited for what the future holds, but I can't imagine my life in Honduras without Jairo.

So as I sobbed I told him that there are just not words enough to thank him for all he has done for me.  He wrapped me up in a hug and I knew he understood.  I said he has taken me in and treated me as his daughter all of this time.  How can I thank him for that?  I am going to be okay without him, but only because of all he has taught me over the past year and 1/2.

He stood back at arms length and said, "This is your time to grow.  You are going to stretch and grow a lot in the next year.  I already see you making friends.  Deepen those relationships and keep making friends.  You look like a real Honduran woman now.  You are beautiful.  You are a beautiful gringa.  You know that?  Don't be embarrassed.  You need to know that you are beautiful.  Just be happy.  Be happy.  Go travel.  Go to the lakes.  Go to the ocean!  Ask Belinda to go with you.  Be patient and keep trying to work as a team.  Stand up to people, even if it is going to make them mad.  Who cares if they are mad?  Keep standing up to them until they hear you.  You are going to grow and thrive here."

I promised I am not going to leave.  He said he knows I will be fine here.  He said he will stay in touch.  I said I don't know what I am going to do without him.  He said he is going to check in about how I am doing and that if I will allow, he would like to always be there for me, for the rest of my life if I will allow him.  I told him yes, please.  He said, "I will not intrude."  We have lived so closely for all of this time and he has never intruded.  I can't imagine that he would intrude from another country.  Plus that is not his style.  We straightened out some last minute details.  Then I went and sat with Jairo and Eunice while they shared lunch.  They used to do this almost every day and always invited me to join them.

How fitting - one last diet coke just for Jairo

We joked it was like The Last Supper - the last lunch with Eunice

Tonight will be the last night for the Sarmientos to sleep in their beds in Honduras.  I hope there is a huge crowd to greet them in the US.  I wish the Sarmientos all of the happiness and blessings God has in store for them, because I know HE has bigger and better plans for them than I can even imagine.

Time for a cool change

Jairp preached for the last time, at least for a while, at Iglesia en Transformación this morning.  I went to church early because there were protests scheduled for today.  I picked up the people I was supposed to collect.  We didn't have any problems but there were TONS of buses parked on the sides of roads with flags flying out the windows.  People were hanging out around the buses getting ready to march.

The church service was really nice.  Marlin took the time to go to El Centro and found a silver bracelet for Jairo.  He seemed to love it and she was thrilled.  First Ethel spoke.  Then some of the people closest to Jairo got up and spoke.  Jairo gave the message.  It was about "depositing" into people - investing in them.  In the end you are preparing them for success, but it is important to invest.  Then he called Ethel, my landlord Carlos, Samuel and Axa, and Walter.  He spoke to each of them about their gifts and what they bring to the church.  Then he had them kneel and prayed a blessing over them while he anointed them each with oil.

I stood next to Walter's mother.  She held on to me with one arm and raised the other to pray over the people in front.  It was emotional for her on a whole different level than I can even comprehend.

To me, it was bittersweet.  It was beautiful to see Jairo handing everything over to the new leadership.  But it is still incomprehensible to me that Jairo won't be here anymore.  I know we, the church, are in capable hands and I am excited to see what changes will come.  But there is nobody like Jairo.  He was my pastor, my counselor, my teacher, my news source, a person who held me accountable, a person whom I could always count on in every situation.  It is a little scary - okay, more than a little - it is scary to be without him.  But he has been teaching me how to live in Honduras for a year and 1/2.  He said I will be safe without him.  I know he would never allow me to be here if he weren't sure.  I still haven't figured out how to say good bye to him.  I gave Lourdes a letter.  But Jairo has a harder time reading English.

I didn't get any photos of my own today.  Apparently I have become an official photographer, which I love.  They gave me the nice camera so I was busy running around getting photos of each special moment.  It was a lot to take in.  I was kind of happy to be distracted by the camera because it was very intense.

Belinda did take one photo of me with Lorenzo.  I love this little boy so much.

We had a special lunch for everyone after the service.  The kids were told to line up first.  It was so awesome to see them line up from the kitchen past Eunice's office and around the corner by Don Juan's office.  At one point I was thinking we adults might never get to eat, but then I realized how awesome it is that we have so many little kids (13 and under) to feed!  What a great thing for the church.  Lots of young people to invest in!

Ethel stopped me today and told me that she really liked my letter and wants to meet with me this week.  I told her that sounds great.  I am eager to see what ideas she has for me.  I am ready for a change.

After church I went to the mall.  I haven't ever just strolled around in the mall before, so I did that for a while.  Then I bought some vitamins, a "combinado" (chocolate and vanilla twist) soft ice cream cone, and headed home.  The streets were strangely empty.  The only sign of the political marches of the morning was a lot of garbage on the side of the road.  In Honduras there are a lot of people who clean the streets and sides of the roads.  I bet it will be clean by the time I go to church tomorrow.

Tonight Hermida asked if I still wanted to talk.  I said yes.  I figured that even though I am in a much better place than Friday, there are still a lot of adjustments to come and I could use her advice.  She made it very clear that she did not want to speak of any specific people.  I told her I was not there to gossip or speak negatively of anyone, I was there for support.  We had a good talk and in the end she told me the same thing my mother did.  Everyone is going through a lot of changes right now.  It will get ironed out with time.  In the meantime I need to have patience and tolerance.  She said the church really needs me, loves and wants me, so I should not feel unwanted.  She also repeated what she has said before, that she wants her house to feel like a home to me in every way.  She and her family are a huge blessing in my life.

By the end she invited me to join a bible class she is taking.  It sounds really cool.  She has been in it for 6 months.  The only not so great thing is that it is on Saturday afternoons.  I had kind of thought I would help out with the younger girls at the Ester Project.  But I think it is more important for me to grow spiritually right now.  I will have more to give if I am nourishing myself with the bible.  Hermida is convinced language will not be a problem.  I wasn't worried about it until she told me that we have to memorize a lot of scripture.  I stink at that in English.  Spanish will be hard.

As we were talking we got a phone call inviting us to come and cut the cake for Louis.  Aparrently everyone left before he got home from the hospital last night.  Gustavo is fully recovered and apologetic.  Everyone is revealed about that.  We went down to cut the cake and had some laughs, but headed home as soon as we finished the cake.  I like hanging out with Carlos and Hermida's families.  They are all so welcoming and kind to me.  Plus they are fun and interesting.  And they like good food.  They are my kind of people!

Made plans with Guillermo (my landlord's son) and his cousin to go for a hike on Thursday.  Saturday I am going to Karla and Jose's house.  Wednesday the Breakfast Program will not be open.  I will take a car full of people to the airport to say good bye to the Sarmientos.  In the meantime I need to finish cleaning the garbage out of the office and try to make it my own.  Lots of things to look forward to.

Birthday with no Birthday Cake

Went to the birthday party.  It was really nice.  Tons of food and 2 cakes because two people in the family share a birthday.  Unfortunately we didn't get to cut into either.

We arrived kind of late and had to park out by the front gate of a large property.  People next door were having a party under a big white tent.  Our party was in a beautiful garden with balloons hung along the driveway.

Everyone was eating as we arrived so we grabbed some food and joined them.  There were several different groups of seating, one in the shade, one in a garden, one in an outside kitchen/dining area.  I sat in the shade and had a good time talking and joking with my landlord's family.

As we were finishing our dinner the group from the dining area filed past.  They were headed out for a walk.  Suddenly the "cumpleñero" (birthday boy) came back speaking very urgently and telling someone to hurry.  We couldn't hear anything more but everyone at my table was curious about what was going on.  We went back to eating but at one point someone said that we were going to be left curious about what had happened to make the cumpleñero so upset.

After about 10 minutes someone came over and said that the boy who works as the groundskeeper was found lying unconscious .  I was confused, but so was everyone.  Over time the story was pieced together.  The birthday boy went out for a walk and found the unconscious body of the caretaker, Gustavo.  Gustavo is a 32 year old man who has worked for the family since he was 18 years old.  Normally he would have been present for dinner parties.  In fact someone even walked down to the neighbors to fetch Gustavo when they noticed he was missing.  The neighbors acted a little strange and said Gustavo left.  That's all they would say.

Three hours later the family found Gustavo unconscious.  It was unclear if he had been using inhalants as well as alcohol.  He has no history of ever having touched alcohol in the 14 years he worked for the family.  But they described Gustavo as a follower.  The family just hired a new man to work alongside Gustavo.  The new guy had admitted to having a history of drug use.

As more people became aware of the situation and pieced together the pieces it seemed the new guy had been drinking grain alcohol and probably huffing paint with Gustavo.  Since Gustavo didn't know his limits, he ended up unconscious.  The new guy apparently left him for dead.  Later in the night the new guy was peering into the property.  Someone who didn't recognized him asked what he was doing.  The new guy explained he worked for the family, but left.  (He will be let go from his job tomorrow.)

The birthday boy got Gustavo to the hospital in 10 minutes.  Normally it is a 30 minute drive with no traffic.  Last we heard, he was still unconscious.  They had given him a lot of fluids and were doing blood work to see how to treat him.  Cell phone reception is horrible so everyone was trying to call Gustavo's family.  Finally they got through to a neighbor who was going to go to Gustavo's house and to let his wife and 2 kids know Gustavo was in the hospital.

We tried to make the most of the occasion, but there was an undeniable damper on the evening.  Since the birthday boy was at the hospital with Gustavo we didn't even cut the cake, which looked delicious.  It was nice to spend the evening with a wonderful family and great food.  Nobody is sure what will happen to Gustavo.  Thank God they decided to go for a walk, since apparently he had been lying unconscious for at least 3 hours.  A sad ending to an otherwise great day.

A better day :)

This morning I woke up early to be at the Men's Conference by 8:30.  We stuffed folders, served food, and I took a ton of photos.  One of the men lent me his camera.  I think I took over 200 photos.  A lot of them were really good.  The whole conference was nice.  It was special because Jairo is moving to the US on Wednesday so it was his last time to speak to the men he has been living his life with.  They said they will invite him to come back and speak at the conference next year.  All of the speakers were really good, but to me Jairo was best.

Jairo and me

When they first asked me to serve at this I was not thrilled about having to be there all day, but it was really fun and the men were very appreciative.  It was nice to be able to serve them.  So many of them do nice things for me.  This is one way I can show my gratitude to them.

Jairo had me take photos of his empty desk.  I staged one completely empty except for his signature Diet Coke (or Coca Light as they say in Honduras).  We took photos of him with his bag, walking out of his office, turning off the lights and closing the door.  He seems pretty excited to be going.  I know he will miss his friends in Honduras, but I also know he will be a blessing to people in the United States.

One elder's car was not working so I got an opportunity to talk about how awful my day was yesterday in more detail.  He told me that the church will support me in any way they can.  He said things will change a lot after Jairo leaves, not because Jairo's way was bad, but because the people who are in charge have different gifts and manners of leading.  The elders will meet with each of the people who are currently heading up programs (including me) to ask what we think, how we feel, and if we see any changes that need to be made.  Everyone is in agreement that I will be serving in different capacities.  We are just not sure exactly how yet.  But I am open to any ideas.

As you can see, today was a much better day.  Tonight I am going to a birthday party with my landlords' family.  Tomorrow I am driving a ton of people to church because Jairo has an early breakfast down in the city so he can't take the people who normally ride with him.

To those of you who prayed for me, thank you.  I think things will continue to get better, but I could use your prayer coverage for a few more days.  I feel you interceding on my behalf and I appreciate it!

Choices

When I woke up this morning it felt like a normal day.  I had lots of things to look forward to - a going away party for Lourdes, special lunch, and a trip to the mall.  However, as I got into the car suddenly I came under a horrible spiritual attack.  For most of the drive I was close to tears and my heart hurt.  I was doubting myself and my ability to serve in the church.  I made plans (in my head) to move back to the US in December.  I thought about who would buy my car.  I decided between Salt Lake and Colorado as my new home.  (Salt Lake won.)  Thought about what sort of jobs I might qualify for since I am now bilingual.  Figured out how to tell others that I was leaving.  Everything seemed to fall into place easily as I drove down to the church.  I would just move back to the US and not have to feel like this anymore.

But at the same time that I was making all of these huge plans, I knew that my calling to serve the Lord in Honduras had not diminished in the slightest.  He still wants me here.  My feelings were telling me one thing (that nobody wants me here, that I'm not doing a good job, that I'm all alone) but my mind knew these were all lies.  I knew that it might be easy to leave, but that it was not the path God wants for me and that in the end my life would be very, very difficult.

I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a cake for Lourdes.  In the parking lot before I got out of the car I texted a friend in the US and asked for prayer.  I told her I knew clearly that I was not supposed to leave, but I didn't know what else to do.

As I pulled into the entryway to the church I heard a horrible noise.  I stopped the car and jumped out.  There was a huge rock in the middle of the driveway.  I hadn't even seen it there!  That rock felt like one more sign - the entrance to the church was literally blocked.  How much more clear could it be that I wasn't wanted there?  I knew I was in a horrible battle as I squatted in the road trying to move that rock.  Cars honked and people yelled things out their window.  I could not lift that rock.  It was so heavy.  But finally I was able to roll it out of the driveway.

As I pulled into the church and parked, Violet and Milagro ran over and crawled into the car to hug me.  I could feel their love breaking through the ugliness that was trying to overcome me.  Then I headed for the kitchen, thinking about how I would tell Belinda that I planned to leave in December.  Ana and Marlin were the only ones in the kitchen.  Ana turned around when she saw me and said, "Wow!  You look beautiful!  You look like a real Honduran woman.  I don't even see you as a North American at all anymore."  For some reason those were exactly the words I needed to hear.  They don't sound as awesome now as they did to my ears in that moment.  It was like God said to me, "This is where I want you to be and you fit in here."  I burst into tears, which freaked out Ana and Marlin but they both grabbed me and held me as I cried.  I explained that I had been thinking about moving back to the US.  They said, "No!  You can't go!  We love you."  So I cried more.

Afterward I felt better.  I went into the preschool classroom and prayed.  I read more about God's armor, which I have been studying about lately.  Then I put on His armor and left the classroom.

I was worried the feeling might return, and still am.  It was very powerful and it came so quickly.   But the rest of the day was pretty spectacular.  The kids were super sweet.  I got a ton of compliments on my "new look" as everyone called it.  (I had tight pants, a blouse, and a ponytail.)  Don Juan kept saying that I looked like a model.  We had a really nice party for Lourdes with delicious food, great conversation and a tres leches cake.  But a part of me couldn't enjoy the day as much as I should have because I was still scared.

Jacky, Lourdes and Marlin in front
Me, Veronica, Belinda and Ana in the second row

Tonight I asked my landlord if I could talk to her.  She said she could see me right away if I were still in the city but if not we could have breakfast tomorrow.  I told her I have to leave at 7:30 a.m. to serve at the men's conference.  We will talk at some point this weekend.  I need advice about how to avoid this situation, and how to handle it if it does happen again.  All I know to do is pray and ask for prayer.  I am so grateful that through the mental battle I fought this morning, I always knew what was God's truth and what was lies.  I knew the right path.  But sometimes the other way can appear easier.  I don't want to take the easy way.  I want to live the life that God has chosen for me.  Today, I am happy to say, I continue on that path.

Shopping Spree

Every day I drive past the used clothing store where I bought most of my wardrobe when I first moved to Honduras and my suitcases were lost.  Each week they have a different special selection hanging outside on the front wall.  One week it will be bathing suits, another skirts, another tank tops.  This week I saw baby clothes for the first time.  I was thinking I need to take Marlin there and have a little shopping spree.  Then yesterday she told me that she had a bad dream.  She was leaving the hospital with her new baby (which was a boy in her dream although the doctors and she believe it is a girl) and she had no clothes for him.  Finally she asked a nurse for a towel to wrap him in.

Today I drove past that store again and realized it's almost the end of the week.  They will change the special item either tomorrow or Saturday.  So I called Marlin.  She was still walking out of the church.  I told her to wait there for me.  Then I picked her up and we went shopping!

I backed into the car that was parked behind me as I was parking because I was so worried about the ditch on the side of the road where Marlin and Misael were about to get out that I wasn't paying attention.  In Chicago it would have been typical parallel parking - tap the car in front and tap the car behind you to make sure you're in tight.  But there was no car in front of me in this case.

As I got out, still worried about Marlin and Misael falling into the ditch, there was a girl standing at the car.  She told me I had hit her car, but there was no mark.  I told her I was very sorry and thanked her for her understanding.

I grabbed Misael's hand and we walked down to the store.  Everything I have gotten there has been cheap and nice.  Lots of it is expensive name brands.  Why it exists in the middle of one of the worst colonias in the city, I have no idea.  Marlin asked if I really buy clothes there.  I told her yes, I love the clothes I buy there.  They are clothes she often compliments me on.  We went through all of the baby clothes and picked out everything cute for girls.  I think she looks like she is going to have a boy, but what do I know.  Misael picked out an outfit that Marlin loved for Halloween.  It is never going to fit, it's for a 6 month old, but it cost $2.50 and they loved it.  I was surprised because I have never met anyone who celebrates Halloween in Honduras.  It was bright orange and said "BOO!" with a bright orange hat to match.  I told Misael that can be his present to his baby sister when she gets old enough to wear it.

We got lots of cute stuff but all of it was onesies which I think would be very hot.  I asked for shirts that button on the bottom, but they didn't have any.  We also got a small sleeper sack and a larger one - those bags with arm holes for the baby to sleep in.  Marlin was happy and grateful.  We got 5 newborn onesies because that is all they had.  We got 5 three to six month old oneseis and 2 six to nine month outfits because I loved them.  Plus the sleepers.  Not bad for $26!

Tomorrow the ladies at the Breakfast Program and I are having a going away party for Lourdes.  I am still in denial that they are really leaving.  I am not good at goodbyes.  No words are enough to thank Lourdes and Jairo for all they have done for me in the past year and 1/2.  They cared for me like a member of their own family.  For over a year I didn't have a car and Jairo drove me everywhere.  They are busy people but they always had time for me.  I don't know how to say good bye to them.

Today I sat with Jairo as he had lunch.  He asked if I had heard about the child.  I said that I saw in the news paper a 3 year old was killed.  He said that people stole a three year old from her family, cut her into pieces and put the pieces outside the front of the house at night so when the family left the house the next morning they found the baby's body parts.  Jairo said he never imagined this country could be come to this.

Jairo is happy that the pastor from K2 is coming.  But it is hard for him to not be in charge of planning Lad's time here.  Jairo has so much to do, I know that everyone is trying to ease his burden, but Jairo said it would be so easy for him to write out a daily schedule to be sure that Lad sees everything he should see while he is here.  Jairo told me that it is very important that Lad get a feeling for the current situation in this country, that he get to see La Tigra, and that he get to know all of the elders.  It has to be hard for Jairo to go from being in charge of everything to completely letting go.  I have to say once again.  I will really, really miss Jairo.

Throwing Stones

Today when I got to the Breakfast Program Marlin was alone in the kitchen making her famous soup.  It was her first day back, so I was surprised to see her cooking, but as soon as we said our hellos I found out why.  She was alone because nobody was choosing to help.  So I washed my hands and started making cheese balls that she deep fries and puts in the soup.

While we were cooking I watched the kids out the window.  Christofer pushed a new boy so the new boy picked up a handful of rocks and threw them at Cristopher.  I told them they were "castigado" (punished) for 15 minutes because we do not push or throw rocks at the church.  I went back to making cheese balls, but that unfortunately that was just the beginning.  Daniel came running up holding male genitalia made of clay.  The artist was very detailed in their art work.  Eunice ended up speaking to those boys - that is beyond my Spanish abilities with three of them arguing that the other was the creator.  Eunice had those three boys take the place of my boys, whose 15 minutes were up.  She was thinking Belinda would probably expel them for the week.  Then they started throwing stones at the little kids.  I talked to them once, twice, and the third time I saw two of the three throwing stones I told those two they had to leave.  It breaks my heart to ask any child to leave before we eat because I worry they will go hungry for the day.  But the food was not ready yet and they had been told clearly not to throw stones at the little kids.  I felt like I had no choice.  The third one left too, although he knew he didn't have to.  I was sad.

Finally the soup was ready and we sat down to eat.  Belinda still hadn't arrived so I asked two boys who have already graduated high school to watch the older kids.  Belinda was very specific that she wants the younger kids to eat in the classroom because Milagro almost got scalded by soup last time we served it.  I went to the classroom but kept the door open so I could hear what was going on outside.  The whole time kids were running up to me tattling on each other.  It was not a fun morning.  At least the little ones were safe and all but three were well fed.  I don't know what got into them today, but when we prayed we prayed that tomorrow would be better.  They are always so well behaved, I guess they are due an off day.

I am still working with Lorenzo every afternoon.  He didn't have school today so in the middle of the chaos he wrapped himself around my legs and said he really wanted his class to be right now.  I hugged him back and told him that I wanted his class to be right now too, but we have to wait until everyone has eaten.  Today Lorenzo easily identified numbers and was able to write them and count them out as well.  He's not as far behind as I thought.  But he is so inconsistent.  I am trying to figure out if there is a pattern to his inconsistency, or if he really just doesn't know as much some days as he does others.  It is confusing to me.  I think it has to be confusing to him too.  After we worked on numbers he played with the clay.  He made butterflies and trees and cowboys.  It was a nice switch from the artwork the boys made in the morning.

Remember when I was praying and begging for prayer for rain?  Well, if you are still praying you can stop now.  It has rained almost every afternoon since June and most nights.  Last night it rained from 8 p.m. until 8 a.m.  plus the late afternoon downpour which turned the roads into rivers.  I'm over it.  But very thankful that the fires are gone.