Photo essay of my US trip so far

Jack's birthday cake

Jack's friend Tess

The party guests

Joey playing pin the tail on the donkey

Tess and the piñata

Mr. Piñata head

A sweet homemade card from McKenna

Christmas Party:

Jack's response when Santa arrived

Jack meeting Santa

Joey hasn't met a Christmas tree he didn't love

I told Joe he had to smile for a photo
before he got his gift - great smile Joe!

Jack and Santa

Joey, my brother and my sister in law

Skiing with Bob:

First snow I've seen in a few years!

Avalanche area, No parking

Looking down as we went over Loveland Pass

 Always have to get a picture of the Continental Divide

First views of A Basin
My favorite ski resort in Colorado

Hurray!! The parking lot is empty - no crowds!

Snow making machine

We found some powder in the trees

Mom and Joe

Reading books - a favorite pass time of Jack and Joey

You know, looking back on all of these photos, I am reminded that I have a darn good life.  I live in beautiful Honduras and I still get to spend time with my family and enjoy skiing with my brother in the mountains of the US.  I am blessed and grateful and can't ask for anything more.  Thank you Heavenly Father!

Pre-Christmas update from the US

One more week left in the states.  Here are some highlights of my trip so far:

The first week I spent in Denver.  I had Ethiopian food with my friend Julia.  Got to babysit my nephew Joey one morning.  Went Christmas shopping with my Mom, then out for Thai food for lunch.

It was Jack's birthday and we went to a Christmas party which the boys loved.

Jack blowing out the candles
with a little help from his friend Tess

Joey and Santa

Jack and Santa

The second week I went to Salt Lake.  The first day I met with church leadership at my home church.  It was nice to share the latest news from Honduras with them.  From there I met with people who are working on plans for the next teams who will visit.  I had dinner with my friend at my favorite Thai in SLC and got to meet her husband for the first time.  Then I was invited to visit a small group in the evening.

I got to see my friend Kate's daughter and visit with Kate and her husband for a while.

Kate's daughter Samantha

Had dinner with Robin, who used to mentor me.  It was great to catch up with her about all that has happened since we last saw each other when she visited Honduras with the team in October.

Another night I had dinner with my friend Heather, who is one of my closest friends in Salt Lake.  It was a perfect girls' night out.  We had lots of things to celebrate and catch up on.

During the day I received prayer ministry.  It was helpful in several ways.  God showed me a pattern that I have been living since I was very young which is not serving me well.  In fact it was hurting me.  At the end a lady from my church prayed over me.  She said that God has plans for me which are big things that I have not even thought of yet.

I have numerous friends here, in the US, who are unemployed.  I see them stressed out and anxious.  But if God's plans for me are things I can't even think of, then there is no sense in even trying to figure out what He has for me.  I can just relax, keep myself open to all opportunities, seek after God and see what He shows me.

My friend Jody had an open house in Salt Lake for people who wanted to stop by and see me.  I got to spend quality time with people from my small group in my home church.

It was a busy, busy week.  I had every minute from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. scheduled with something.  In the end I got to see everyone and had lots of good quality time with most.  It was nice.

Everyone in Utah commented that I looked more relaxed than they have ever seen me.  They said they can see a physical change in my face and my eyes shine more brightly.  When I told my mother that people in Utah had noticed a change in me, my mother said she can see that I am happier than she has known me to be since I was 10 or 12 years old.

I think the change in me is due to the prayer and classes I received in Honduras and time with God I spent before I came to the states.  I have really, truly learned to put my life in His hands, which leaves nothing for me to worry about or try to control.  What a relief!

I did notice when I returned from Utah to Colorado I was craving alone time with God.  All of the socializing in SLC was great but I was missing my alone time.

Back in Denver I have been spending time with my nephews.  Reading good night books to them is one of my favorite times with them.  My brother and I went up to the mountains and skied together one day.  That was one of my highlights so far.  I love skiing with my brother.

We tried to take my nephews skiing yesterday, but the traffic was horrible.  After spending three hours in the car we were still an hour away.  Finally we decided to turn back.  I was wishing we could get a hotel room and ski the next morning, but I forgot the importance of sleeping with stuffed animals.  For them, being able to sleep with Woody and Peace, outweighed a powder day in the mountains.  So we turned around and went home and I never got to see my nephews ski.  We did, however, stop for Indian food which was the last thing I was craving that I can't get in Honduras.

Joey when we first headed out

Joey as we returned home
He said, "At least we got to dress like skiers!"

Three big horned sheep we saw while we were stopped on the highway

For the first time in my life I have my Christmas presents wrapped before Christmas Eve!

One friend is coming to Denver on Christmas day for three days and another is arriving on Christmas day for five days, so I am looking forward to spending time with each of them.

Yesterday as we sat at my brother's house, relaxing after the drive, the snow storm that was in the mountains arrived at his house.  The whole front of his house is windows.  I loved sitting and watching the snow fall outside.  I could do that for hours.  It was exactly what I miss about snowy days.

You can't quite see how hard the snow was falling.

Christmas has not come yet, but I have already done everything I was hoping to do.  The ministry I received was awesome.  I've had every type of food that I miss when I am in Honduras.  Once I see my two friends who get to Denver on Christmas day, I will have fulfilled every wish I had for this time in the US.

I talk to friends in Honduras almost every night, which keeps me from feeling too homesick.  It is nice to know I am still thought of and missed, even after I've been gone almost a month.  I've been getting sweet emails from my new friends down there and chat on FB with other friends.  Fany, who is taking care of Jetty, sends me pictures of Laura and Jetty every few days.  It's almost like having a pet cam!

Looking forward to dinner tonight with my Mom and Brother at a fun Moroccan place in Denver, then time with my friends who arrive Christmas day, Christmas with my nephews, and hopefully one more day of skiing before I head back to Honduras.  This has been the least stressful time I have ever spent in the US.  Not sure if it is my new attitude, or just the way everything is falling into place.  But it has been lovely so far and Christmas has yet to arrive.

Pre-flight

Hey readers!  I forgot to tell you that this week we reached over 20,000 hits!  I never imagined that when I started this little thing to keep in touch with friends in the US while I visited Honduras in 2009.

At that time I never dreamed God would bring me back here to live.

Tomorrow I leave for the US.  My unexpected trip that came straight from God.  Today it was even more evident.  I got a message from my brother that he was at the Emergency Room with my Mom.  He said she had abdominal pain, possibly appendicitis.

If I did not have the tickets to leave tomorrow I might have been scrambling around today, trying to buy a ticket for tomorrow.  But God knew and He already gave me one.

I asked a lot of people for prayer.  People were praying all over Honduras.  In the end it seems that my Mom has some kind of virus.  Apparently a lot of people in Colorado have it.  The emergency room doctors told my brother they were full of people with the same symptoms since last weekend.  They did a bunch of tests and all of the results were good.  Now she is home resting with pain medicine.

I got everything finalized for the flight.  The car is going into the garage for a new clutch while I'm gone.  I am blessed with a good mechanic.

Today I met with almost all of the church leaders, officially or unofficially.  One called, one was behind me in line at the grocery store and I arranged a meeting with another.  They were all really good conversations.  We are not sure what the future holds, but we do know that we respect each other and want to serve God in the way we are called.  So we are all on the same page.  It is nice to be told by one church leader after another that I should do whatever I need to do in order to be happy.  They all have my best interest at heart.  And they all agree I belong here in Honduras.  I am glad they can see that.

Tomorrow at this time, I will be in a hotel in the US, settling in for my flight from Atlanta to Denver in the morning.  I am so happy with my life right now.  And even more excited for the future.

Tonight Saul, an older boy who is very special to me, called to say he missed me.  He just finished his classes and got a job!!!!  He starts on Monday.  It is 20 hours per week, but it is a job, which is amazing in a country with 48% unemployment.  I am so proud of him!  And honored that he bothered to call and tell me.  When I get back we are going out to dinner to celebrate his new job.  I have known Saul since 2009.  He is one of those boys who you feel honored to know and support, as best you can.  I expect he, too, will have a bright future.  Yay Saul!

Countdown to takeoff

Tonight we went out for 2x1 chicken wings again.  This time there were 8 of us and we were celebrating my leaving for the US.

Travel outside of the country is a big deal to some people in Honduras.  I have had 3 groups of people pray over me about the trip.  Friends and mere acquaintances want to meet me at the airport where they have another little send off.  The whole pomp and circumstance of the bon voyage party at the airport is wasted on me.  I like to check in, get through security, get to my gate and settle into flight mode.  But if people show up, I will play along for their sake.  It is a kind and thoughtful thing to do.

I have started the list of phone calls to say good bye.  These are expected and people are really hurt if you don't call before you leave and as soon as you get back.

When I told Fany someone bought me the ticket she said, "No!" and she looked so sad I thought she was misunderstanding me.
I told her, "Fany.  I am not moving back to the US.  I'm just visiting for Christmas.  I'll be back in a few weeks."
"I know," she said.  "I just don't want you to go.  Last time you were gone (when I went to the weekend retreat) Laura woke up in the morning and asked if you were home yet.  When I told her you weren't home she didn't want to get out of bed.  We just slept all day!"   :(

At least I know I will be missed.

Another custom is that people tell you they will be waiting for you with open arms.  And there are lots of "I love you"s and "I'll miss you!"  In North America people aren't so expressive.  I am lucky if I can get someone to take me to the airport, never mind have a whole group there to send me off.

Today was a really big day for me.  I am not ready to write about it to the general public yet.  But it was a good day.  I did something that has been a long time coming and I feel great.  I can't wait to tell you all about it when the time is right.

Faith

Today was an intense day.  I woke up at 9:47 and was supposed to be at church at 10 a.m.  Ooops!  Since it will be my last week to attend church in Honduras I threw on some clothes and ran out the door.  I really didn't want to miss it.  Little did I know I'd be gone until almost 7 pm!

Church was good.  I love it more each time I go.  I got up and shared a testimony about waiting for God's timing.  At first I asked someone to translate for me.  I don't know why.  A safety blanket I guess.  I started out in Spanish and never needed the translator at all.  I guess I just needed to know he was there in order to stand up in front of everyone.

I thanked them for receiving me with such open arms.  They have been wonderful to me since the moment I "accidentally" wandered in.

After church or meetings I always offer rides to people who are headed in my direction.  Especially in the evenings after classes or prayer group when it is dark.  Some of the ladies walk pretty far all alone.  I don't like that.  It is too dangerous!

Since they know I always want to give rides to people, today a lady asked me for a ride and also asked if I could give a ride to someone else.  I said sure.  The second lady and her daughter were headed for the hospital to visit her one month old baby,  The baby can't be released because she is hooked up to a breathing machine.  They just needed a ride to the nearest bus stop.

I decided I had nothing else to do, so I gave the lady and her daughter a ride to the hospital.  We ended up having coffee together and talking about a lot of things.

She goes to the hospital every day at 10 am to see her baby until 11 am.  Then she waits outside until 3 pm when visiting hours start again until 4 pm.  She never once complained about it being inconvenient, although she did say that the hour passes too quickly.  She was grateful for the nurses who she said are like angels because they love her baby well when she is not there.  I respect her positive attitude.

In the end she decided that she would like me to be the Godmother of her baby.  This is not typical in the church she and I belong to now.  But she and I were both raised in Catholic churches, so I know what she is talking about.  I told her that to me, being a Godmother is something I would take very seriously and is not something I could say yes to so quickly.  I asked if she did not have other friends that she knows better who might be good Godmothers.  As she continued to insist I told her I would pray about it.

I have two major concerns.  The first is that I don't know this woman.  I don't know how long our friendship might last.  I don't know where she lives or if I will be a regular part of her life in the future.  I don't want to be a Godparent to a child I might never see.  That would be sad.

My second concern is hard to admit, but it is reality.  Sometimes people think that North Americans have a lot of money.  Sometimes it is just assumed that you can afford to buy expensive things and that you have an easy life, simply because you are from North America.  I would hate to be a Godmother just because someone thinks I am going to buy things for their child.

I do not know this lady well enough to say that she is thinking that way.  But I also don't know her well enough to know that she is not thinking that way.

I told her we both need to pray about it and not rush into things.

In the past week I learned that two more of my friends are going without food.  All three of them have kids.  Of course there is Ana with her four kids.  The other two ladies each have one child.

After all of this time, having NO food is a concept I still cannot grasp.  I have never gone hungry.  I lived on cans of tomato soup with a slice of Kraft cheese for days at a time when I was in my early 20's.  I didn't think about it at the time, but looking back I would say that was as hard as I ever had it.  I always had something.  The people closest to me are going without food.  Their shelves are empty.  I am not sure what to do.

One friend told me after the fact that her family had been without food or money.  She and her husband prayed and their prayers were answered in really cool ways.  I accidentally brought her left overs one day.  The next day, out of nowhere, someone else brought her food.  And someone sent unexpected money a third day.  I love her and her family very, very much.  It hurts me to think they are without food.  But it is also a great testimony to God's faithfulness when she tells me afterward that she was without food, she prayed, and God provided.

I can't save the world.  But I can be more attentive and help as God calls me.

I was just talking to a man in my prayer group this week about the concept that necessity can create deeper faith.  We discussed the idea that if a person always has their basic needs met, they may never have the opportunity to completely depend on God.  However, if you are forced by necessity to completely depend on God, you have a daily opportunity to see His provision and develop faith and gratitude.  Then it is easier to release the control in all areas of your life to God's hands.

Going home

I found this post today.  It is fitting as I prepare to go back to the US.  I highlighted parts that I have experienced most strongly:

Why Missionaries Can Never Go Home Again

Written by Karl Dahlfred on 25 November 2014.

When a new missionary first gets to the mission field, it is obvious where home is.  It is that place where you just left.  It is the place where you grew up, went to school, got an education, discovered a church family, and formed your most important relationships.  

But when you live overseas long enough, a strange transition takes place.

Your “home” country doesn't quite feel like home anymore.  When you “go home”, some of the same people and places are there, but life has moved on in your absence.  When you show up for the so-called “home assignment” or “furlough,” you can not just pick up where you left off.  You are a visitor.  An outsider.  A guest without a permanent role.  Your close friends have made new close friends.  Half the people in your home church only know you as a line item on list of prayer requests.  (If at all, I would add.)

Some new technology, slang, or cultural trend has become common place… expect for you because you missed it when it first came out.  (Music, tv shows, fashion trends are what I miss most.)

On the mission field, you said things like, “Back in my country….”  but few local people in your host country could relate to your story.  They listened politely but you knew they didn’t really understand. But that’s okay.  You comfort yourself with the thought, “People back home would understand me.”

Yet strangely enough, those people back home who were sure to understand…. well, they don’t.  Now that you are home, you are full of experiences and stories from the place that has become your second home.  (I would add that you have to be careful where you tell them.  Some people don't want to hear them and some people just think you are crazy, or stupid, and will literally tell you so.)  You say things like, “Back in my host country…”  Whatever story you tell them about your host country is hard to relate to.  The things that you really miss about your host country receive a blank stare, or a “That’s weird.”  After your quaint tale is done, people go back to talking about the local sports team, the latest in national politics, or something else that you haven’t given much thought to in the past few years. It is not that they don’t like you.  They do.  They are glad you are finally “home.” However, those “back home” people simply can not relate to your experiences “out there” in that country with the funny name whose people have even funnier (and unpronounceable) names.

On “home assignment”, people say to you, “Isn't it great to be home!” and you think, “Yeah, kind of.”  Now that you've had a few of your favorite foods and seen a few old friends (and FAMILY, I would add), there are fewer reasons to stay “home.”  You start to miss all those things about your host country that you came to love.  Certain foods, local friends, the ministry role that you were happily engaged in.  

Home is no longer home.  And sadly, that other place on the mission field will never truly be home either.  Home is both places, and neither place, at the same time.  

When at “home”, the missionary dreams about their host country.
When in their host country, the missionary dreams about their home country.

Missionaries are forever caught between two worlds.  They can no longer completely identify with the people whom they left behind in the home country and they can never truly identify with the people in their host country.

Home is everywhere.
Home is nowhere.

(I AM NOT SURE WHERE I CALL HOME, I would add.)

But that’s okay.  There have been other travelers on this road.

***************************************

That was the blog entry from someone else.  This is from me:  

I hope you don't get the wrong impression.  I am more excited than I have ever been to go back to the US.  I can see that God made this trip possible for many reasons.  I get to celebrate my nephew's birthday.  I am going to receive ministry there which will help me to be a better servant when I return.  And I miss my friends and family.  I will enjoy my time there and can't wait to go - less than a week now!

But yes.  A lot of this article hits home, so I thought I would share it with you.

As I wrote that previous sentence, "A lot of this article hits home..."  I am thinking that maybe home, now, is in ME.  I am the one constant in my life.  I am the one who understands me best.  I am the one who shares my culture (which is now a mixture of 2 cultures).  Maybe home is in me.  I feel a sense of peace as I think of it that way.  It is definitely something to ponder.

Finally, I don't want to leave any lingering doubt.  I am grateful for the opportunity to go to the US.  I am excited to see my friends there.  Contrary to what the author of this blog said, for me being away has shown me who are my true friends.  I have strengthened relationships with friends in the US through this process.  Other friendships are not more strong than before, but will still withstand the distance between us.  I can't say I have lost friends in this experience.  Praise God for that.

See you soon US friends and family!  I love you, I miss you and I can't wait to see you!

It's cold in Honduras

Thanksgiving in Honduras was good.  My best (only) offer was to celebrate at the home of pastor of the English speaking church.  There were 30 of us.  I am starting to know more people now and met a few new ones.  The food was delicious.  It was everything Thanksgiving should be.

A cold front came in two nights ago.  It's been blustery and cold, in the 40's and low 50's even down in the city.  Everyone is bundled up in heavy sweaters during the day and winter jackets at night.  Jetty doesn't even want to go outside.

The wind is pushing a tree branch or something against the roof of my house, right outside my bedroom window.  It makes the sounds of creaky floorboards in Halloween movie all night long.  After not sleeping for several nights, last night I wore earplugs and got some sleep.

The power has been on and off.  It was off when I was trying to cook my dishes for Thanksgiving dinner but came on later at night so I did some late night cooking.

After this weather the snow in CO and SLC shouldn't seem so bad.

Gettin' stuff done

Oooofff!  What a day.   I got up, showered and headed out, thinking it would be easy and quick.  Just a quick errand and then the vet.

As I passed Fany's house she said Laura is sick again.  She called Dr. Gustavo and he suggested a urine test first, just to rule that out.  She is home alone so I offered to pick up the urine cup.  In the midst of our conversation I realized I need to pay my rent for the next two months before I head to the US, and since I will drop my car off for work at the shop tomorrow, I have to go to the bank today.

The line at the bank was tremendous as always.  Normally I wait in the regular line.  Today I finally got up the nerve to wait in the "Deposits/Premier" line, which I have every right to do.  I am depositing my rent.  Normally I don't like to wait in that line though because as a North American I prefer not to jump in with the "Premier" patients.  Even though I could.  I like to wait in the normal folks line with the normal folks.  Today I just didn't have time.

The bank only took a half hour, as opposed to an hour or more.  Yes!  I stopped and grabbed the cup for the urine sample.  Still right on track.  And then the airport.  I have searched everywhere and cannot find a bag to bring my cat back to the US with me for Christmas.  I was told they sold them at the airport.  Turns out they don't.

At Delta they told me that every pet store sells them.  After I had already told them that I have been to every pet store I know and can't find one.  They insisted they are everywhere, at every pet store.  Then the sent me to customer service, where I learned I can come the day ahead with all of my paperwork and make sure everything is right and get signed in.  I was grateful to know that.  In the US I just showed my paperwork to the ticket agent, but apparently here it is harder to get out than it is to get back in.

One guy said maybe the souvenir shops have travel bags for cats.  I checked upstairs, searched every souvenir shop.  Most people thought I was crazy, but there was one man who was really helpful.  He didn't have them, but he thought of three places that might.  He also walked me out to show me a store nearby, across from the parking lot, that sells bags and might have one.  He even told me exactly the right words to say when I ask for then, so people will know what I need.  He was a very nice guy.

The place across the parking lot didn't have one.  But they said a place nearby did.  So I started at the mall, which is closest.  I had been told by two people the pet shop there has them.  Wrong!  They have purses.  Not bags to take my cat on the airplane.

Then I drove around searching for the store behind the Pizza Hut.  A guard was very happy when I stopped in front of his restaurant to ask directions.  He was no help, but was thrilled to talk to a North American female.  He would have talked all day, if I weren't in a hurry.

I found the place behind the Pizza Hut.  They are small and have a ton of stuff.  They had one HUGE bag that I can't imagine will fit under the seat of an airplane and one tiny bag that I can't imagine will fit my cat.  In fact now I know it doesn't.  But I bought them both.  I'll take them both to the airport and if I am not allowed on the plane with the gigantic one, I will shove her into the tiny one and be grateful that now I know to go to the airport the day before, and spend a night in a hotel instead of making the whole trip at once.  Sh e can stand to not move for 4 hours at a time.  That tiny place might also get disposable litter boxes before I leave.  If that actually happens, that shop really hooked me up!

Then off to the vet.  Bad news, the only vet I trust here is leaving the practice.  Good news, she is doing all of the paperwork and getting everything done so I can go to the US.  The best part is, I have had this vet appointment scheduled for three months.  Everything just fell into place.  Jetty got her anti-parasite meds and the doctor will do all of the documentation for her to travel with me.  I will, however, miss my trusted doctor in the future.  It's hard to find a good vet in Honduras.

Jetty only puked once in the car.  She was calm on the way home and even purred as I was parking the car.  That was strange.

I am going to spend Thanksgiving with a bunch of friends at the pastor's house of the North American church.  My assignment is to make sweet potatoes, which I am happy to do since I got a delicious recipe from my friend Mary from SLC/now Oregon.

Saturday was my big exam.  I finished first, before everyone else.  There were two answers I didn't know and one I couldn't remember.  I think I did well.  Sunday I slept until 11 a.m.!  I planned to go to church at 10.  I never, ever sleep that late.  Usually I am up by 7:30.  The strangest part is that I also slept until 11 a.m. today.  I think I was pretty stressed out about that exam.  It is nice to have it over.  I was worried about missing the class.  Even thought about dropping out.  But when I talked to the instructor, she said that everyone else will be on vacations too.  They will take a break from the class while I am gone.

Last night I had dinner with the North America church people.  We celebrated Thanksgiving together.  I had a lot of good and productive conversations with people.  God is guiding me closely in this time.  I remain grateful.

Laura and her Princesa Sofia piñata

Birthday girl, ready to pray

Santos, Fany y Laura

Isabela sharing "birthday cake" with David

Laughing into the night

Today was a super day.  Tomorrow is my birthday, but I can't imagine it will be better than today.

I had a good morning of prayer and studying.  God is still speaking to me really clearly and I am still grateful.

Then I had a mid-afternoon coffee date with a new friend.  She is turning out to be a better friend than I imagined and a real blessing to me right now.  I can count on a call from her every few days, just to see how I am doing and give me some encouragement.  She often says, now I know you don't need to hear this right now (because I am doing really well right now) but I want you to know that... and she gives me kind words to keep with me for the future.  I don't drink coffee, but I did enjoy a caramel laden decaf with my friend this afternoon.

From there I headed to the store.  A friend had no food. so I picked up some staples.  I haven't done that in a really long time.

I stopped by the church and picked up some photos I left there.  I also dropped off the keys to my desk in case someone needs to use it.  Don Juan and Luis were there so we chatted a little bit.  I miss Don Juan a lot.  I am used to having him be a subtle part of my every day life.  It is strange not to see him all of the time anymore.

When I got home there was an email waiting for me with a ticket to go to the United States for Christmas!  I am getting there in time for my nephew's birthday, which makes the trip even more special.  It took a while to let it sink in that I was going to be with my family this year for Christmas.  I had been preparing myself mentally to be in Honduras for the holidays.  Once it finally sunk in that I can go back to the US I was sooooo excited - and still am!

I am going to visit Salt Lake while I am there.  But other than that I am going to hang out with my family and a few friends.  Every time I go to the US I am always stressed out, busy every minute and exhausted.  I have every minute scheduled with something.  This time I am excited to just hang out and not run around like a chicken with my head cut off.  (Funny, that saying just came up yesterday and Fany told me that yes, the same saying does exist in Spanish.)

Fany now has another friend staying with her.  Fany, her two friends and I sat around until bedtime laughing and joking.  They think I am quite hilarious.  It was fun.  I am enjoying having more friends and doing new things, like coffee dates and laughing into the night with the girls.

Preparing for the party

I finally downloaded the photos that I took before my 2 month vacation, sabbatical, whatever you want to call it.  There were lots of good ones.

I am nervous and trying to prepare for prayer ministry tonight.  But Laura's party guests have begun to arrive today so there is a lot of shrieking in the loudest, highest pitch you can imagine and screams of "AYUDA! (help) AYUDA!  AYUUUUUDA!" ad nauseam.  As you can imagine it is not the most productive atmosphere for studying and prayer.

One thing I like about the Honduran culture is how adults commonly spend the night with their friends.  I used to spend a nights with Karla and Jose.  I need to start doing that again.  I miss that.

Fany has a friend who comes down and spends at least 3 nights each month with Fany.  She and I have become friends too.  Fany told me yesterday that she (Cynthia) is going to come Friday to spend the night with Fany and celebrate my birthday.  Fany is going to have a full house with the lady who arrived today and her daughter, plus Cynthia.  But that doesn't seem to matter in Honduras.

Last night we ordered Laura's cake.  It is going to be Princess Sophia.  Another lady is making Laura a Princess Sophia dress to wear on Saturday.  Laura still has a fever and is kind of cranky today.  We are hoping she will get rid of the E Coli by Saturday and be able to enjoy her party to the fullest.

Here are some photos I took on November 6th:

This is how my morning starts every day when I pull into the church.
Hugs and kisses from the little ones as they try to cram into my car

Violet 

Hoola Hooping

I love Anderson's look in this one

Samuel loving his sister
I love how she is looking at him

So much cuteness!

Jose sprinted up the sidewalk for a hug
and stopped short for the camera

Isa and me

Anai always caring for the little ones

Contrary to the rest of Honduran culture,
Samuel loves to wear his seat belt
He asked me to take this picture.
I will call it "The Proud Seat belt Wearer"

I would also like to state for the record that I am in full support of Laura's obsession with la Princesa Sofia.  I have done some research (i.e. sat through enough shows to see) Princess Sophia is actually pretty cool.  She has a half sister who is snooty, but Princess Sophia likes to get dirty, race against boys and do very unprincess-y things.  Therefore, as far as Princesses go, I approve of la Princesa Sofia.

Sitting on the Bridge

I am studying, studying, studying.  But today I am also baking a birthday cake.  Laura, my neighbor Fany's daughter, turns three today!  We are going to celebrate with the Princess Sofia cake and Princess Sofia piñata and guests on Saturday.  However, I figured she should have a cake on her real birthday too.

I do not consider myself artistic
But I took a chance and painted this for Laura's bday
It is Princesa Sofia colors

It's not Princesa Sofia.  I hope she'll still like it!

This morning I focused on The Art of Listening Prayer by Seth Barnes.  Since I need some answers from God, a friend recommended it.  I am blessed to have the time to really sit and focus on it.  This morning during my prayer time I had the vision of myself.  The image started from far away and zoomed in until I could see myself.  I was sitting cross legged, younger, dressed in blue jeans and a long sleeved royal blue shirt.  The sky was very blue behind me.  I was extremely content sitting there.  But I was sitting in the very middle of a really, really high bridge.  My knees were hanging over the edge as I sat.

Nobody else was present.  No cars on the bridge.  No boats in the water.  No other human beings.  It was just me and the tall bridge.  The water was below, but not something I was thinking about.  The general feeling was a peaceful one of being present in that moment, sitting on the bridge with my legs folded, my elbows on my knees and my hands supporting my chin.  The way little kids sit when they are in a circle around the kindergarten teacher, listening to a story.

I think God was telling me to take the leap - a leap of faith.  That's what it felt like to me.  I'll pray about it.  The good part was, I didn't feel scared.  I was quite content just sitting there.  But I think that could also be the bad part.  Not wanting to move from there.

As I was in class last Saturday and then again as I was studying today something drew my attention that I never noticed before.  It is in Matthew 17:14-21.  In my class we are learning about Evangelism, so we are talking about how Jesus taught the disciples:

Instruction:
Spending time with them
Through parables
Came back to be with them for 40 days after His resurrection

Demonstration:
Preaching at every chance he could
Performing miracles
Debating and speaking articulately
Showing patience and compassion for the needy

Involvement:
Jesus empowered the disciples by allowing them to perform miracles too,
He sent them to put into practice His teachings

Evaluation:
The disciples reported back to Jesus about the success or troubles in their missions.
He made them see their errors and called to attention their mistakes.

That last part is where it gets funny to me.

After just having said to Peter, "Get away from me Satan!" in chapter 16, (Now those are strong words!) they are now with a crowd of people.  A man approaches Jesus and says he asked the disciples to heal his son, but they couldn't.  Jesus turns to the disciples and says, "You faithless and corrupt people!  How long must I be with you?..."  Then he heals the boy and talks to the disciples more calmly about having more faith.  "... if you have faith even as small as a mustard seed" you could move mountains.

The part that makes me laugh but also really makes this whole thing so human to me is when Jesus says "How long must I be with you?"  Come on now!  Are you serious?  Get with it people! "How long must I be with you?"  This is something simple.  You only need faith the size of a mustard seed for this.

I am feeling like the back in college days.  My bed is full of books.  So full that last night when Laura came over there was no room for her to get up on the bed with me like she always does.

There are two big differences between now and my college days.  One is that part of my studies are in Spanish.  The second is that I am not waiting until the night before the exam to study.  The test is not until Saturday for all of this stuff on Evangelism.

I have always said I never want to go back to college.  But I have to admit, it feels nice to be surrounded by books and learning.  I am really enjoying it.

Vacation is not a vacation

I thought last week would be a week of rest.  Maybe even boring and lonely.  Actually it felt like the opposite.  I am learning that I have to schedule my time  and prioritize or I get too busy.

Tuesday morning I had a meeting/coffee with a lady from Iglesia en Transformación.  She wanted to make sure that I knew I could meet with her or with my small group any time.  Since I have only met my small group once before, I told her I think this is not the best time for me to be sharing things with them.  Not that they are untrustworthy.  But I think I need to be prudent in who I discuss things with out of respect for the church.  She said she understands and in any case she would be available to meet if I need her, which is nice.

Wednesday I went to a prayer group.  The group meets weekly to pray for people's needs, healing, political things, the country and the world.  It was really fun to participate in that group.  This week they will pray over me.  I am a little nervous.  I had homework to read in order to prepare myself.  I know the end result will be good, but getting there might be a struggle.

Thursday I met with the people from Honduran Fellowship and started the process of enrolling with them - something I should have done a long time ago.  They have a really cool organization that unites missionaries in Honduras.  They keep people informed about security issues, help get things done, like renewing US passports or drivers licenses, and help with residency for those who don't have it yet.  They offer prayer, networking, and even a singles group.  I am not sure about that.  I was assured it is not about dating.  It is because single people have different needs than people who have family here.

Friday I helped Fany with some things she had to do and attended my first ever Honduran Happy Hour.  Not quite like a happy hour in the US, as no alcoholic drinks were consumed.  It was a budgetary thing, they said.  I met one lady for the first time and enjoyed the company of two others whom I am getting to know better.  More than anything, it was nice to be thought of and included.  Good company, fun conversation, and 2x1 chicken wings at TGI Fridays.

Saturday I started a class in Evangelism.  I was not thrilled with the idea at first, but am feeling very hungry to learn and I figured if I am going to call myself a missionary this is something I should know.  The class turned out to be fun and interesting.  I met some super nice people.  We had pan de pan (bread pudding), coffee and doughnuts afterward.

Sunday I attended two church services.  I loved, loved, loved the first service from start to finish.  I didn't know all of the music, but it was fun and uplifting.  Stuff that really gets you in the mood to worship God.  The Holy Spirit was flowing through that place while we gave praise in song.  There was even a part where the worship leader said, "Jump!" and we were all jumping to the music.  (Note to self:  Next time don't wear high heels to that church.)  I was called up in front and presented to the church.  Many people got out of their seats and came forward to hug and welcome me.  That felt great.  The message was about wrong decisions, how to repent, and reconciliation.  I learned a lot.  Afterward there were more hugs and welcoming.  The people there were genuinely nice.  I really felt accepted and very welcome, even like the people were excited to have me there.

The second service is the English service.  I ran into a boy I know from Colorado.  He is here for two weeks teaching music at a private school.  It was great to see him.  The service was about anointing.  Afterward I was invited to have Thanksgiving dinner with the pastor and his wife.  They are both super nice.  So I will celebrate Thanksgiving this year after all!  I really love Thanksgiving and am looking forward to being with a family on that day, even if it is not my own.

Since everyone thinks I am "on vacation" I have been given 3 books to read, as well as an exam to study for on Saturday and 2 written assignments to complete.  One is about vision mapping.  I am having a hard time with that one.  It seems like most of my interests and dream jobs have nothing in common with each other.  Hopefully the lady who is meeting with me over this can see things more clearly than I do.  I cannot find a common thread between dreams of being an olympic swimmer, a hot shot (fire fighter who jumps out of planes to control forest fires), a photographer and a therapist.  The lady who is working with me is said to be very gifted in this area.  I think she will have to be to figure me out.

Today and tomorrow will be days of rest and study time.  If it is sunny I may get some laundry done too.  Guess I did not have to worry about feeling bored or lonely!

Dear God, It's me Mary Lynn

Lately God has been talking to me a lot.  I am really grateful too, because I have been seeking a lot of guidance.  Sometimes His answers don't come to me in the time I wish, or the way that I expect, and sometimes they are not the answers that I want to hear.  But it is always good to hear from God.

Two weeks ago when I went to the conference for missionaries God spoke to me more intensely thank I have ever experienced.  It wasn't what He said, it was the way He said it.  God spoke to me through a pastor from Canada who said things that no other person knows.  Basically He was saying. "I see you."  He didn't give me the answers I was seeking at the time, or any guidance at all.  He just said Yes, I know.  This and this and this is going on.  I see you.

Throughout the weekend retreat He continued to say , "I see you."  Sometimes it was through other people reaching out to me.  Sometimes people knew what I was experiencing without me having to say a word.

At the women's retreat I heard "I see you" through a conference we watched on simulcast from Maryland.  The speakers kept on greeting the 155 churches throughout the US who were also watching by simulcast.  Each time a new speaker acknowledged the 155 churches within the US I felt hurt.  The next morning we rejoined the simulcast and a lady talked about the 155 US churches.  Then someone else said AND there is even a group watching from Honduras! First I cheered, then I burst out crying.  They were saying "Hey you guys in Honduras!  We see you!"

I think I have been feeling unseen, unrecognized, kind of invisible until my team from K2 came.  Now the issue has come to the surface and I am able to hear God saying that He sees me.

The word "season" has also been showing up a lot in my life.  My mentor from K2 and I talked about seasons.  The pastor at the conference two weeks ago talked about seasons.  A lady in my small prayer group talked about seasons at the retreat.  A counselor at the retreat also talked about seasons in my session with him.  And the pastor at the English speaking church talked about seasons.  On the phone the other day I asked my mentor in the US. "Is 'Seasons' the new hip word that everyone is saying lately?  Or is God trying to tell me something?"  She laughed and although the phone reception was garbled I am pretty sure she said that saying "seasons" is not a new fad.

I have also been hearing from God that I am stronger than I know, and that He sent me here with a purpose.  I wish I could know how strong I was.  That would come in helpful sometimes, you know?  However, He is also clearly telling me, "Just show up with a little bit of willingness and I will do the rest."  That is reassuring.