60 Kids and Banana Panqueques

This morning there were 60 kids at the breakfast program. I woke up in a funk again and had a hard time getting out of bed, but I can't waste my time sitting around the house feeling sorry for myself. So I called Muncho and went to the breakfast program where I was greeted with tons of good hugs.

I was supposed to spend the afternoon with Tony, but he had the opportunity to talk with two more dentists to finalize the dental program, so he had to take off and do that. It seems the dentists are willing to lower their prices so between the Lions Club here in Honduras and a church in Atlanta all 60 kids will have their dental needs met every 6 months!!!!

Karla is still working like a maniac and we still don't have internet at home, so she leaves early in the morning and returns at dinnertime. Yesterday Valery had school, so Karina and I didn't go to the mall because we had to pick up Valery from school.

Yesterday afternoon the news was very ugly. Supporters of Mel are gathering at the Nicaraguan border and trying to fight their way across. Jairo said they are putting together their own band of people to fight the border guards. On one hand it is very hard to watch the border guards hit people with bats, but on the other hand I am not sure what the guards are supposed to do when the people are being so aggressive. Afterall, their job is to guard the border.

The orphanage has been closed because of the problems, but really things here in Tegucigalpa are very calm.

Sunday is Jose's birthday and I may have finally tracked down a place where I can buy cocoa powder. It is so frustrating to be with out a car and to have so little money. I hate spending money on a cab, but I also can't just sit at home.

Time to head back to the house and see if Karina wants to take a "collectivo" to the mall for bday presents for Jose. If you take a "collectivo" you can go anywhere for only 11 limpiras, but you share the cab with others. For me, this is not safe to do alone because I don't know the city well enough. Also you don't know who you are getting into the cab with, or who may get into the cab after you. Karina has been held up twice in a collectivo for her phone and her money - which is a better statistic than the bus, where she's been held up 19 times! It's kind of just a fact of life or a risk you take if you take public transportation. Which is why I pay 60 limpiras to ride alone with Muncho. My safety is not worth 49 limpiras.

I am applying for a position back at my old job as a back up plan and a way to make money immediately when I get home. A guy got let go yesterday from the unit I would like to work on, but I doubt they can hold the position for me for two weeks, and besides, his shift was on weekends which makes it impossible to go to church.

Getting Back to Basics at the Breakfast Program

Woke up early this morning. Evelin Michelle's mom drove Evelin and me to the church where we served breakfast to over 50 kids. Carlos was there with his new haircut, looking very handsome. Tony took Carlos to a professional barber yesterday. Carlos was accompanied by 2 cousins who were at the program for the first time. They were very shy.

This morning I had a little runny nose and a sore throat, but I'm feeling ok. Emotionally I think I am doing better as well. I had a long talk with Evelin Michelle. She is so insightful for her age.

Tony took 3 boys to the dentist this morning while Evelin Michelle and I ran the breakfast program. Two boys had 9 cavities and one had 8 cavities. Now Tony has started a dentist program for the kids of the breakfast program. Right now he can only focus on a few kids, but it is amazingly inexpensive to get dental care here. I think he said it was $4 to see the dentist and $3 or $4 to fill a cavity. He is hoping to get a regular rotation of kids going each month so that they can all see the dentist once/year. Tuesday I will cover for him at the breakfast program because he is taking one more boy who has a tooth that is hurting.

I was invited to a bday party Saturday for Bismar at Tony's house. Bismar is turning 13!

This afternoon the plan is for Karina and me to go to the mall and buy a bible for Karla. A neighbor has offered to make a cover for the bible with a zipper so the girls can't rip up Karla's bible again. Also I have to buy a picture frame for Jose for a bday gift. His official party will be Sunday. And then we will see Harry Potter at the movie theater.

We haven't had internet at home for a while, so my access to emails and posting on my blog is limited. We are hoping the neighbors will pay their wireless bill soon so we can have internet at the house again.

Jose's 29th Bday

Was just reading over a blog by my friend Julia, who is living in Azerbaijan - near the Caspian Sea. I was thinking about how we are both experiencing similar things in such different circumstances. For example - she is called "English" as her name, while I am called "the gringita".

She talked about people there believing that women exercising is very strange and not acceptable. She is a runner and if she runs in the morning she is told she will have a heart attack because it is not healthy to exercise in the morning - but she now tells people that she purposely runs early in the morning so that no men will see her. This answer makes her strange habit of a morning run acceptable to the Azeri people. I guess it is preferrable that no men see you running even if you are at risk of having a heart attack. My comparable experience was not as drastic. I was so excited when Tony told me that I could bring sundresses on this visit to Honduras. I remember unpacking and showing Karla all of my sundresses. She didn't say much at the time. The first time I wore a sundress one of Karina's friends commented that the dress was cute, but she was surprised I was wearing it. Later Karla told me that she really doesn't wear dresses unless she is with Jose because it attracts too much unwanted attention from men. I explained that in the US we wear sundresses as soon as it gets warm because they are more comfortable in the heat. But I've been careful about when I wear dresses since.

Julia also talked about the freshness and lack of preservatives in the food she eats. I just talked with Karla about how in the US we are freaks about refridgerating foods as soon as we are done eating them. Karla said that the only food she sees a need to refridgerate is chicken because of salmonella. Otherwise shrimp, beef and eggs sit on the counter for days. I haven't gotten sick yet!

For Jose's bday we went to Tony's house and had dinner. Tony made pulled pork, which everyone loved topped with coleslaw. For desert we had a tres leches cake. I ate a HUGE piece. It was yummy. Tony's house is really nice, but he is planning to move to Los Pinos and actually live in the community with the people he is serving.

I have been feeling really down lately. I have been taking a lot of time for myself to reflect and pray. It was interesting, it seems like God has been keeping me from outside distractions. I wanted to see Harry Potter yesterday, but the roads were closed. Today I wanted to use my computer but we had no internet all day at the house, except for when I checked my email and received some bible verses from my Aunt. Reading the bible verses did help. But I was unable to post my blog, or to play on facebook or send emails from home.

Jose, Karla, Karina and Tony have been very supportive. Tony asked how I am doing and I said that I am just really shut down. I guess that's the best way to put it. I thought that I put a smile on my face for Jose's bday, but later Karina told me that I hadn't done a very good job of pretending. Faking happiness has never been a strength.

Back from Olancho

Got back at noon today from Olancho. Visited caves, road horses, ate great food, and enjoyed good company.

I LOOOOOVE Karla's family. I can see in them all of the best parts of her. Her father bursts out with great shouts of joy, just like Karla and Karina. Their mother dances and cooks just like Karla. They were so welcoming, funny and sweet. It was great to meet them and really nice to get away from the city.

Stuck in Tegucigalpa, with the Olancho Blues Again

The roads are open to Olancho - about the only place you can get to today according to Karla. Roads South, North and West are closed. But Jose decided last night that we are not going to leave until tomoorrow. I hate to sound negative, but I think we should get out while we can. He seems to have no reason for wanting to postpone until tomorrow. Except he was mad that Honduras lost to the US for the third time since I've been here in futbol. :-') I am frustrated but trying to be patient and understanding.

People are heading in busses to the borders of Nicauragua, where Mel is rumored to make his attempt to cross the border today, so the police are stopping all buses and have closed the roads in an attempt to keep the Mel supporters away from the border. The plan is to arrest him with as little conflict as possible. I think once he crosses the border they will bring him here, to Tegucigalpa, and all hell will break loose in the streets. I'm envisioning that we won't be able to leave home. I wish Jose would change his mind!

It is great to have my computer back. It actually turns on now in 1 of every 6 attempts. But I discovered yesterday that I lost ALL of my photos. Karina's friend had said I lost some, but he saved most. Now I only have the photos that I chose for this blog. I lost all of the photos of my baptism last year, of my brother's wedding, and of Maddie - the cat I had for 18 years who died. Lesson learned. When I have some money I need to buy an outside memory card. Some days here I took 40 photos and put them all on my computer by date. Bummer.

Last night I had a long talk with Karla after dinner. Her father has a house here sitting empty which she knows he would rent to me if I found a job here. He would love to have it occupied, but doesn't want to deal with finding a trustworthy renter. Now I just need a job.

Had a dream last night that I was somewhere in the US in the mountains, I think Colorado. I was traveling with a large group of teenagers, and I was a teen myself. There was some sort of beauty contest and you didn't have to do anything to win it. They just showed off the gown that you would get as the winner on a really skinny model. I remember thinking the dress was gorgeous, but I'd never fit into it and didn't really care about the beauty contest anyway. But the next morning they announced that I had won! I was excited and figured they must have left lots of room to let out the dress to let it out for someone who wasn't stick thin. I was to wear the dress in an interview that evening.

Then I walked in on my mother and brother eatting dinner and asked why they hadn't called me to join them. My mom said she didn't think it was a good idea for me to eat if I was going to fit into the dress. So to spite her I started picking the food on the table out of the bowls with my fingers. Then later I went and put on the dress and it was perfect. The dream ended with me looking at myself in the mirror. I was very happy with the way I looked. Then I turned around and looked at myself from behind. My hair was dark black and goregous - like all of my Honduran friends. That's when I woke up. Am I turning into a Honduran?

Aboiut a month ago John Casey suggested with the political unrest that I die my hair black and wear dark contacts so that I look Honduran. But he didn't say anything about a beauty queen/prom dress. Never knew that deep inside I wanted to be a beauty queen.

Office is Closed

This morning Anna called to say that we cannot go into the office, even to play with the kids, because they won´t let us in. I don´t know if that means the caretakers who are already there have to stay, or if they will let the ¨Tias¨ inside, but not office workers or volunteers. I´m a little disappointed because I thought it would be fun to play with all of the other people from the office.

Last night we talked to Karla´s Mom. The roads in Olancho are closed today and things are only going to escalate so we are wondering if we will make it to Olancho tomorrow. I am desperate to go!

Back in Action

Tons has happened since Saturday when I was last able to use a computer. My computer completely stopped working, so Karina´s friend fixed it, but now the keys are all in Spanish, but ofcourse my physical keyboard has not changed, so I have no idea where my question mark is. I finally found the ¨@¨ using ¨alt¨ instead of shift. So my blogging may look a little funny from now on, but I´m sure you´ll get the point.

Sunday I went to 2 church services - one at my regular church, the other at the gringo church. At my regular church the message was all about Psalm 121 which my Aunt Susan and I have been using as a prayer base during this political turmoil. It was nice to think about it more at church. I was sad that day, apparently noticeably, because several people asked me what was wrong. I kept fighting back tears (sometimes unsuccessfully) and told them that I only have three more weeks left in Honduras and I don´t want to go home.

Evelin Michelle´s mother was the first person to approach me. She and I have never really had a conversation before but she always greets me. This time we had a long talk and it was really nice. She told me that I need to pray for peace. I told her that I have been praying and listening very closely for what God wants for me next. Then she grabbed her bible and told me that she was reminded of Psalm 85. She went directly to verse 8 which says ¨I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for He speaks peace to his faithful people. But let them not return to their foolish ways.¨ We both laughed, but I am still wondering exactly which of my ways are foolish so that I don´t return to those ways.

Later I was just sitting and Lourdes said I looked sad. I told her that I am thinking a lot about the fact that I only have 3 more weeks in Honduras. She said we should meet this week, but our schedules didn´t match up. I think it will be better to meet with her next week after I have time away this weekend in Olancho to think things out more clearly.

Right now part of me is trying to accept that I will go back to the US and find a job that pays well and move ahead with my life with this experience under my belt. Another part of me wants to sell everything I own (my Mom has been dreading these words for a while now, I think) and move to Honduras.

Tony and I went out for coffee after the Gringo church. We talked pretty generally about the idea of moving here and that it is possible. So since Sunday at times I have visions of a huge yard sale, and at the same time I am asking for my job back at Benchmark. (Things are not good there - they are over staffed and don´t have enough kids to justify the staff that is already working there. But my old supervisor thinks he can get me some shifts.) I really enjoyed my time with Tony and wish I had started going to the Gringo church earlier. There are good connections there if I did ever want to get a job here.

Monday I was riding high from working with the kids at the orphanage. I got to bring out the toys for the first time that day and ran around with the kids, playing outside. I am assigned to a house of boys ages 4-11. I really like them, but they are very challenging. They have enormous impluse control problems and just start hitting eachother when they don´t get what they want right away. Monday I had to physically hold a kid back from fighting with another kid. And the bully with the half dead bird is in my group. He is a tough one. His first instinct is to raise his fist in response to everything and everyone. It is really hard to do anything organized with him because he is incapable of waiting his turn or playing by the rules, but if you don´t let him participate then you have to deal with him doing worse things... I haven´t figured out what to do with him yet. But I did learn today that he is a good artist, and drawing calms him down, so I think I will bring art supplies with me tomorrow. He also did well in a music therapy class. I was shocked they had music therapy when they barely have school, but they really like it and the teacher is good with them.

Yesterday we went home early because there was no electricity all day in the area of the office, so nobody could do computer get any work done in the offices.

Today there was a huge peace march. Karla said it was tremendous, but peaceful. Tomorrow there is a pro - Mel march, which means that the government employees will not work tomorrow. The people in Anna´s office have decided that since they are still required to come in to work, but can´t do any work, they will play with the kids like I do! I think it´s an awesome idea.

Politically things are pretty hot. Some news stations are reporting tonight that the mediation is over and the mediator decided that he wants Mel to be restored to power. For the safety of the people of this country, and myself, that is the worst thing we could hear. We are still being told that if he enters the country he will immediately be arrested. I asked Jose what he thinks is going to happen. He said, trying to joke but completely seriously, ¨Well, there could be a civil war.¨ He is right. I have read that Mel says he is coming back on Saturday.

I am still praying that the roads will be open on Friday to get to Olancho. We are talking about the idea of being stuck in Olancho for a while, but we are fine with that idea. My personal thought is that Mel will show up in Olancho, as that is his home. He can´t exactly walk into the presidential residence. If he does show up in Olancho, that will be fine - we´ll be way out in the country harvesting corn and riding horses.

So to summarize, things have been very calm up to this point. There are still marches every day. The marches or ¨manifestaciones¨ got bigger today, but that was expected since earlier in the week. They put the curfew back into effect, but it is only from midnight until 4:30 am, which means they are not very worried about things for tonight or tomorrow morning.

I can hear the neighbors next door - a mother and her adult (mid 30´s) son arguing about ¨Zelaya¨and ¨Micheletti¨ outside my bedroom window. It´s on everyone´s mind today, which is new. Friday and Saturday could be interesting.

Hot Soup, Cold Night

Didn't get to spend the day in La Tigra as planned b/c both Jose and Walter had car problems to take care of that ended up taking the first half of the day. I just hung out around the house. Tried to fix my computer. It is seeming more and more hopeless. At this point I am lucky to get on line at all.

The La Tigra youth group was meeting. Most of them are teens. They walk forever to get there and some of the girls had on high spikey heels. Youth group is the place to see and be seen in La Tigra, I think. We picked up some of them on the way up, but I think some of them walk a couple of miles to get there. The kids seemed really sweet. They ended up watching Honduras play futbol against Canada, which wasn't so bad b/c Honduras won. (For once) But the also did some readings from the bible and one kid said an incredible prayer of gratitude and they sang some cute songs and gave an offering of $. Then the boys went ouside and played futbol and the girls pulled out mattresses and watched the first Home Alone. I watched the sun set. It is amazing from up there. The sun sets behind other mountains but I was on the highest one. It got pretty cold up there. On the way home we had to drop off some things for a family whom I've met before briefly. Once inside they wanted us to sit down and eat some warm soup. At first I was hesitant - who knows where they got the water from, but man that soup was good. It is very typical and is called Verduras, only it did have a bone it it, so it is not just veggies.

I felt a little awkward b/c the house is small and there were only two chairs so as guests, we were told to sit. But the oldest lady of the house is really old and I would have preferred to give her my chair. Also there were these pieces in my soup that looked like big chunks of fat. Given the fact that I don't really love meat, I was dreading having to choke down these pieces of fat. But it turns out they were not fat at all - they were "camote" some sort of root vegetable that is actually really good. I have grown to love Yuca too. We have soup at home about once/week and I get as much yuca in my serving as possible without being too obvious.

So far I am still alive, and I was invited back the next time I go to La Tigra, so I must have behaved ok. But the other bit of awkwardness was the fact that the US was playing Nicaragua.
(I think. I know it was some Central American Country.) Everyone kept getting frustrated b/c the Gringas were winning. Hondurans are astonished at how well the US is doing this year in soccer. Honduras plays the US at Soldier Field on Thursday. I'm not really looking forward to it because the US has won twice against Honduras and I have a feeling they will win a third time. It's not fun to be a gringita among Hondurans when the gringos are beating them at futbol.

Anyway, the game ended and we hurried home to make it before the curfew. I haven't heard of any problems, but I also haven't gone out of my way to learn anything. As long as we can go to Olancho Friday and get home again, Mel can do whatever the heck he wants to this week.

Jairo is out on a fishing trip, so I'm not sure who will give the message at church this week.

Tony and I are planning a North American night this week. We were so used to spending a lot of quality time together and since he left for Utila I haven't seen much of him. It'll be nice to catch up, eat some sushi, and have a couple of good beers. That's our plan.

Wonder if the orphanage will be open Monday? Have to see what the weekend brings. In the little bit that I've been out I haven't seen a very strong police presence today, and the curfew tonight was pushed back to 11pm, which is much later than when it was 6:30 or 8:30 pm.

Tranquilo, for now (or "Todo Tranqui" as Karla would say)

Yesterday we didn't do much. My phone and my computer were both on the fritz so I spent the day trying to fix them. Got my phone fixed, think my computer is just getting old.

We didn't watch any news yesterday. Karina went to school and Jose went to work. Everything seemed normal in my little world. We ate dinner and while Jose was putting the girls to be Karla, Karina and I had a dance party downstairs until we couldn't dance anymore. Luckily we've had tons of water for the past 24 hours!!!! so we washed up and got into our pj's, then hung out in the bedroom Karina and I share while Jose was downstairs preparing for his youth group today.

They tell me I am quite a good dancer, which I find hard to believe since I am not even a good dancer when it comes to gringo dancing. But we certainly had a good time. We danced to all kinds of music - I just followed along. Of course it was when I was practicing just shaking only my butt, while keeping the rest of my body still, that Jose came downstairs and I didn't notice him there at first. That was embarrassing. They told me that people from different parts of Honduras dance differently, but the men from the North dance the best. Guess I should keep my eye out for a man from Northern Honduras ;-)

This morning, after avoiding the news all day I got a scary article from my mom about crazy Mel. HE BETTER NOT RUIN MY TRIP TO OLANCHO NEXT WEEKEND!!!! I hope he comes soon, so they can arrest him and things can calm down. Our latest plan is to leave Friday and return Monday. I really hope we can go!

I was supposed to go up to La Tigra this morning, but they are tuning up the car for the trip to Olancho, so I am trying to be patient.

I got my article done for Tony's newsletter. It didn't end up saying what I expected to write, but I guess I said what I am supposed to.

Wonder if I'll be able to work at the orphanage next week?

Heating Up

I didn't get to go back to the orphanage today. Karina had a class at 7 am this morning. They closed up the university -with her in it! She's home now, but she could hear the protestors outside. She said the streets were "ugly"when she came home. That's all I know. Everyone is saying that tomorrow and Saturday are going to be worse. I'll update this as I learn more.

We are all set to go to Olancho next weekend. Jose is even taking Monday off, so we can stay for an extra day! Karla was telling me about her grandmother's house in the country. It has four living rooms! I am really looking forward to getting out of the city for a while.

Karla just got back from taking her work in to the bank. She said the streets she used were empty. We are listening to the news on the radio right now. The borders are closed again, in part because people are bringing in arms from Venezuela. The police have searched the houses of leaders of the protests and found houses full of weapons. People are worried that the "manifestaciones" tomorrow could be very violent. I also saw on tv that the radio will turn off 250 channels tomorrow. This is in an effort to keep things from further escalating.

Karla just said that one of the manifestaciones is in Tony's neighborhood.

First Day at the Orphanage

Today was my first day working with Anna at the orphanage. It's possible that it could be the only day this week because the people are threatening to go on strike and close the streets and entrances to the city tomorrow if ex-president Mel doesn't get restored to power. He has given an ultimatum, but hasn't said what it is exactly that he will do, if he does not get his way by this weekend. The orphanage is run by the government so either they will be given a new person to run things under the Micheletti government (which is worrisome to them), or they have to support Mel, which is also not a great option.

Well, I thought things were tough for the kids at the church. At least they had something to put on their feet. Many of the kids at the orphanage are barefoot. They are soooo needy - some are quick to hit/punch/bite. Some are quick to cry. So the aggressive kids go around trying to beat up or intimidate the cryers and I try to separate it before they are all crying and injured.

My position is called a "Tia" or "aunt". Once they realized I was there to play with them all I heard was "Tia! Tia! Tia!" all morning. Anna and I left in the afternoon and went to buy some toys and games so I could do activities with the kids. It may help to keep them from fighting over 4 swings. One bigger boy spent the morning chasing the tiniest boys around with a half dead bird. He put it on the seat of the swing and started to push the swing. The bird peed all over the seat. I told him to stop and he finally listened, then picked the bird up and sat down in the pee. I am ashamed to say that I got some sick satisfaction from seeing him sit down in that bird pee. He had been torturing the boys (and the bird) all morning. I told another boy to stop kicking a kid and he tried to bite me. Luckily I was quick on my feet and didn't get bitten, and I don't think I showed any response in my facial expression because he didn't try to bite me again.

Karla and I are planning a weekend getaway to the country. That will be one of the highlights of my trip, I think. We've been talking about it since the first time we ever talked. I think about that day now and it feels so long ago. Now we can converse so easily, it's not even work. And we have really built a strong relationship. I will really miss having her in my daily life when I return to the states.

I am waiting for details, but Tony did find Carlos. It was totally a God thing from the little that I know. Carlos was outside of the city, sitting somewhere in a field. Gladys (Milton, Maynor, Dana's Mom) told Tony, "I can't say why but just go where I tell you," and she led them straight to Carlos, who was sitting in a field behind something, an old car or something, with 3 men. Carlos was sucking his thumb when they saw him, which is a common habit for him. I don't know if Carlos followed through with his words and came to the breakfast program today or not. And I don't know what he was doing in a field with 3 men. And nobody knows, except God, how Gladys found him in the middle of a field where neither she nor Tony had ever been before. I emailed Tony today to ask him what happened. They were emotionally exhausted when they got back to the church after finding Carlos yesterday, but Tony said he does want to tell me all about it as soon as he has a chance. I know he has been struggling with exactly when/how much to reach out to Carlos and how much he should leave in Carlos' hands. He really loves the boy. Carlos is an easy boy to love.

I wonder if the English class filled up today. Yesterday when I left there were about 12 kids registered out of the 25 spots. We got 2 new girls at the breakfast program yesterday. They came with their Mom, who was more concerned about getting her older daughter enrolled in the English class. The mother was very excited about the opportunity for her daughters to learn English. She was very serious about the whole thing. She said that it is hard for her 11 yr old to not understand English. She was thrilled that the 6 year old can attend too. It was cool to see a mother so invested in her children. I can't think of times when it would be hard for her daughter to not understand English. That confused me, but she was adamant about it. The only kids in that neighborhood who do know English are the ones who learned it at church informally. If I were to stick around I would definitely volunteer to help. They are also serving dinner. There are 6 adult volunteers for 25 kids so the kids should have a lot of individual attention. What a cool program!

One of the boys at the orphanage today knew some basic English. He said he learned it on the computer. I'm not exactly sure how. I hope it is open tomorrow so I can go back. I'm not sure about working with the teen aged girls - they seem a little out of hand. The outer walls above the windows of their house are black with soot from setting their mattresses on fire. Anna said they try to run away over a barbed wire fence with spikes sticking out of a cement wall. Today was visiting day. There were quite a few visitors, but Anna said that just because the people visit doesn't mean the kids will ever go home for numerous reasons. Some of the houses were empty, not for lack of kids who need a place, but because there is not enough money to take care of more kids. The main headquarters for the Federal Government is in this facility, but they don't even have internet.

Speaking of which I just noticed yesterday that there is no mail carrier here. I asked Jose about how they get mail. He said they don't have any street names or street addresses so they can't get mail. If he needs something he has it sent to a mail company. The company asks the sender for a phone number. When the company receives the letter, they call Jose and he goes and picks up the mail from the mail company. So that is one reason why they don't use mail here. Plus it takes about 3 months, he said, for him to receive mail from his family in the states. I told him that people in the states are freaking out about possibly going down to a 5 day mail week. We laughed. It's funny how some things that we think are necessities really are not.

They don't use gas here, the electricity bill is stuck on the door by the guy who reads the meter, you only use pay-as-you-go phone plans here, and other bills are paid at the bank. Pretty interesting.

Bugs are eating me alive. Maybe because I haven't showered in 3 days. We just got water tonight for the first time in three days. I'm off to shower.

PS - Tony just called. He said Carlos was at the breakfast program and even better - he brought his younger brother, which has been a personal dream of mine - to catch the 8 year old before he gets more caught up in life on the streets. Tony and Gladys also had lunch with Carlos and his mother. Once again, the mother cried and said she wants a better life for her kids. We'll see...

I know, I end my entries with "we'll see..." a lot. A lot of good things have happened with time and patience.

The just reinstated the curfew tonight. We had almost a week with no curfew, but the news announced that they had to reinstate the curfew because people were gathering to plan ways to block all of the streets tomorrow. With the curfew they will have less time to meet and plan.

Only One Month Left

Today is a day I have been dreading for a while. The 13th of July. I have been dreading this day because this day marks my last month here. I have to leave on the 13th of August. Tony suggested I stay and pay for a visa, but I really am broke and I also have a wedding to get home for. If I found a job and Kate's wedding wasn't coming up...???

I spent the morning at the breakfast program. Bismar had a bright orange cast on his arm. He asked a select few to sign it. (I was one! :)

I am stressed out about money and finding a job when I get home. My heart has started doing it's crazy palpitation thing again, but I have my meds for it. I just hate taking them because without fail, every time I take them people ask me through out the day if I am tired or what is wrong. Last night I took one, waited an hour, and had to take another (as prescribed). This morning first Karla and then Muncho (twice during a 10 minute cab ride) asked me why I look so tired. I sent out an email to friends at home today who might have job connections and asked them to keep an eye open for ANYTHING for me. I am seriously going to be broke when I get back. I'll have to take any job(s) I can find.

Karla is working like a crazy person. Since last Wednesday I am not sure she's gotten more than 2 hours of sleep each day. I don't know how she does it. Karina has been helping Karla. Karla gets resumes sent to her from the bank she works for. She reads through them (some are more than 30 pages!) prints them out, and then goes through and grades them according to experience. Down here everyone puts their age and a photo on their resumes. No such thing as keeping them short. Then she turns them into the bank with a numerical score for the bank to go by.

Tomorrow I will be at the breakfast program again. I didn't hear from Anna yet about how her first day back at work was, or when I can start with her. Tony called tonight and asked if I'd mind being on my own there tomorrow because he wants to go in search of Carlos. I'll let you know how that turns out.

Some of the kids went back to school for the first time today. Tony went up to the other school to ask what is going on and was told by the principal that the kids who go to that school may not have teachers for the rest of the year! The teachers in that school support ex-president Mel and are refusing to work. The other school is already packed and it's only 3 tiny rooms to begin with, so I don't know where/if most of the kids in the breakfast program will go to school this year.

They are also starting an English class for the kids every Tuesday evening for the first 25 who turn in their permission forms. There will be 6 teachers - so about 4 kids per teacher. Tony emphasized that the class is not meant to be fun, it is meant for the kids who really want to learn English and will attend every week. They seemed excited about it. I collected the first permission slip at 12:30, which was cool since we handed them out at about 11:30.

Lazy Weekend

Last night I went to watch Jose play futbol. I didn't realize that it was all people and kids from the church playing against each other so I knew almost everyone. That made it even more fun. I also had the opportunity to talk more with Anna about how it feels to live here after growing up in Colorado, how she views the political situation here, and what I would like to achieve by spending time at her job.

When the game was almost done one of my absolute favorite boys, Bismar, hurt his wrist trying to stop a ball as goalie. The night ended with him headed to the hospital for x-rays :(

Today I woke up at 9:10 a.m. Needless to say I did not make it to church at 9 o'clock. But I did get some writing done for Tony's newsletter. And I ate a ton of fish soup. Dinner last night was great too. Karla had fried eggs with beans, avocado, queso fresco, and fried platanos waiting for us when we got home from the futbol game. Very traditional. Yum.

On a not so happy note, I have been meaning to write that we have not seen Carlos at all in three weeks. Looks like he went back to life on the streets. But I have hope in knowing that now Carlos has seen a different way of life, and he can choose to come back whenever he wants to. We will continue to pray that we see him soon and that he is safe in the meantime.

I'm Back

Took some time off for a while. It felt like nothing much new was happening. And I am sick of hearing about or talking about the political situation. But I'll let you know b/c I know you're interested. It really has no affect on us anymore while they are in negotiations. There is still a curfew, but it has been raised to 11 pm-4:30 am, so that doesn't really matter either. Every day there are still "manifestaciones" in the streets, but they are peaceful demonstrations. Yesterday I traveled to some new places, which I'll talk about in a minute, and there is so much graffiti on every building in the city it is crazy. Police are stationed on bridges because that is where the more aggressive protesters still occasionally block the roads with burning tires. When I pass the bridge police I think, what a boring job. They stand there all day doing nothing. But if they weren't there...

Tuesday and Wednesday nights I had problems sleeping. It was really hot during the day and I couldn't cool off at night. Plus I was having bad nightmares. I think it's starting to hit me how broke I'll be when I get home. I considered leaving early to go home and start looking for a job before I'm completely penniless. But then I came up with the idea of asking a girl I know here if she needs help at her work. It is a government run orphanage, which would look great on my resume and could help me learn the words in Spanish that are specific for that sort of work. So I called her. She said that she hasn't worked since this whole political stuff began, but she expects to return to work on Monday and there is a lot I could do there if I am willing to volunteer.

I talked to Tony yesterday and told him if he needs me to come in and help with the breakfast program I am always available, but I want to try this for a while. Plus it will cost less in cab fare b/c it's closer to the house and it will take up more of my day.

I am supposed to be writing about my experience here for Tony's monthly newsletter, which I am honored to do, but my little funk this week has not helped in getting the creative juices flowing.

Yesterday Karla, Karina and I had a ladies day. We went to the local "club" where you can swim, golf, or play tennis, or as we did - just hang out by the pool. We were planning to use the sauna, but it was closed. Last year when I came with the ladies we spent our last day at a similar place. Yesterday I thought about the first time I ever saw someone cutting grass with machetes 25 years ago in Puerto Rico. We thought it was so strange. Now I take it for granted. Works the same as a weed wacker.

After the club we went to the mercado again. This time everything was open. It was fun. I took more photos. We bought sugar cane, just like the first time I ever went to a market in Jamaica with my parents, and ate it on the way home. I had forgotten how yummy sugar cane is. When we got home we pigged out on the stuff we bought.

Today I am helping Jose run Karla's youth group, then watching him run his own group for teens. Karla works with the little kids, ages 4-7. I am in charge of games. I already know some of the kids from the breakfast program. It should be fun. It was either that or joining Karina and Karla at a baby shower. They really think I'm nuts because I don't like baby showers. They are all excited to go and play games. And Karla is bringing salt potatoes as the snack she was asked to bring, which I think is so cool b/c I introduced her to salt potatoes. Anyway, I am skipping out on the baby shower.

Tonight Jose is playing futbol so we are all going to watch. We are talking about going to Olancho next weekend. If we don't Evelin and I are planning a 6 hour hike. I am staying busy and staying out of my funk. The following weekend is Jose's birthday, then Valerie's birthday, then my last weekend here! Not much time left. But my Spanish continues to improve daily. I can finally understand some of the news on tv. And watching movies with subtitles in Spanish helps me to put the words together too. I've also been texting in Spanish. I think I write better than I speak. But verb tenses are starting to come more easily in speech. In another month it is possible that I could pass a fluency exam. I am hopeful.

First Deaths

Today was the first time anyone was seriously injured. The tv showed all of the gory details too. The mother sobbing over her teenager's bloody body. Actually 2 teens in total were killed at the airport and more people were injured.

At the same time the news announced that Mel was coming back for a second attempt to land in Teguc. He is such an ego maniac - thinking only of himself as people are dying below him. Saying he would parachute to the ground to be with his people (most of whom don't want him here!) The military had to block the runways with trucks so he could not land in order to maintain control of the crowds on the ground. Of course he can't make a more subtle entrance at 2 am or something. His ego is too big to miss making a grand entrance.

My mom told me today that she can see how evident it is that he is playing the role of a victim. I was so happy to hear her say that because it seems like many US citizens are just looking at Honduras as a third world country where the people act like barbarians and don't respect the law.

My family broke out into a dance party as they were scanning the radio for news. They started out with "Oh What a Night" - late September back in '63, what a very special time for me... Then it moved on to "Eye of the Tiger" - haven't seen people get into that song since I was in 6th grade! And then this great Reggaeton song, "Changa, Changa" - it's going to be my ringtone when I get back to the states and put my own chip back in my phone. Those of you who have visited probably remember how many 70's songs are played constantly here. I hear songs here that I haven't heard in 30 years.

Karla and Karina a really good dancers. Karla just told me that she used to be a champion dancer of traditional style dances and travel all over Honduras. I don't doubt it - the woman can move!

She just told me a story about dancing in front of a whole bunch of people and she started laughing and couldn't stop. Her teacher got really mad, which made her laugh harder until she wet her pants. But luckily she wasn't wearing pants, she was wearing the huge, traditional dress that she uses to wave around as part of the dance so nobody knew, except her sandals were wet and later her friends smelled something odd...

I told Karla about the time Kelly Cateldo and I giggled so hard in church (in the front row if I remember correctly) that I wet my pants at church. Karla asked if I was wearing a skirt or pants. I told her I don't remember. But thinking about it now, I'm sure I was not wearing a skirt or dress unless it was a holiday.

We've been pigging out all day. Stress relief. The dance party was a nice break from the news too.

I still haven't told you about the food we had yesterday. Karla and Jose asked what we would traditionally eat on the 4th of July. I said hamburgers and hot dogs and corn on the cobb and salt potatoes (if you're from Northern NY). So we made a Honduran version of each of these things. Only the salt potatoes were exactly the same. It was all so good! We grilled hamburgers that were shaped smaller and thinner than at McDonalds. Karla put garlic, a seasoning packet, and flour in the meat, then cooked it for about 45 minutes. After about 30 minutes I asked if we should add the cheese, and she said no, wait until the burgers are 5 minutes from being done...? But they tasted great so that's what matters. She made a sauce for the burgers that beats fry sauce. (Sorry - only Salt Lakers will get that one). It was mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, honey and a little vinegar all mixed together. And she made sauce for the corn on the cobb just like the elotes vendors in Chicago - mayonnaise and Parmesan cheese. So fattening and sooooo good! Somehow I am loosing weight here. I don't know how with all of the creamy fattening things I eat every day. Instead of hot dogs we had salchicha, tiny spicy sausages from the best meat market in town. And we ate them wrapped in tortillas. It was all so good, and we had Honduran beer to wash it down!

I am so grateful for all of the effort my family here puts into trying to ensure that I am happy and safe. They really show me love and care about how I am feeling. Today they asked if I am feeling better. (I am.)

I really hope we can go to the breakfast program tomorrow. I would love to get out of the house and play with the kids all morning. Such a great distraction from the current situation. But I'm not sure if it will be safe or not. For the first time Jose was talking about the possibility of not having to work tomorrow. We'll see...

Airport has been overtaken

Tony just came and asked if I've heard the latest. The military who were controlling the airport were overcome by masses of people who have raided the airport. The military is no longer in control at the airport.

Just a second ago we thought the power went out. They did that the last time, to keep people from hearing the news and to try to maintain calm. But we just blew a fuse because Karla is cooking with lots of things going at the same time. For some people - I'll admit I'm included in this group - tensions are high.

I need to take a zanax. I wish it wouldn't be rude to just stay in my room and nap or read a book all afternoon. I am just not up to entertaining company. But I have to say it feels good to have Tony here.

PS:
Mel just landed in El Salavador. I went downstairs, ate and cleaned some dishes. I figure that was sufficient socialization so I am going to read or nap for a while.

Final Countdown for Mel. Tony & Evelin Home Safe

Tony and Evelin are home safe. I saw them both today at church. Tony had a difficult time returning the rented bus b/c airport is closed in anticipation of Mel's return. It is unclear to me if the airport is closed in an attempt to keep Mel from entering the country (this is Jose's belief) or if the airport is closed to everyone except Mel in an effort to get him back and then - I don't know what. (That's my thought.)

Everything was very calm when we went to church. There was some military presence and they were pulling cars over and searching cars. It seemed random and I hoped I was not putting my family in danger by traveling with them, as I am a gringa.

As we were getting out of the car at home the news reported that Mel had just left Washington and is expected to arrive in Teguc at 4 pm. I should have news by tonight about what happens. (Of course my computer has been acting crazy again, so if you don't hear from me again today, that is why.) The news just sounds like a bunch of screaming to me, so I am trying to avoid it.

Karla is preparing a lunch for Tony, Nidia, Walter and his brother Norman. I'm not feeling very social, so blogging gives me a good excuse to hide out in my room. :)

The Wait is Almost Over

I've got a lot to say, but I'm getting a migraine so I'll make it quick.

First, I have every reason to believe that Tony and Evelin are home safe. I talked to them when they were 2 hours from home and then again an hour and 1/2 later and they were having an uneventful ride home.

Second, I was homesick for the first time today. My nephew got his first hair cut, is cutting his first tooth and is rolling like a mad man and I'm missing it all. Plus, I was thinking about how all of my friends are gathering today and bbq'ing and I'm stuck in the house for safety reasons. Youth group was cancelled today b/c we weren't sure until now when Mel will return.

Which leads to my third thing. Mel is slated to return "mid-day" tomorrow (Sunday). We are not sure if church will be cancelled. My guess is yes. It is really hard to miss church two weeks in a row. Church helps me so much to re-center. And with all that is going on, I could really use some re-centering right now. But it is not safe. So this is the time that we have been waiting for. The news is still reporting that Mel will be incarcerated as soon as he enters the country. No matter what happens, it will be "feo" tomorrow.

I ended up having a really great day today. I watched K2 messages on youtube, which helped a lot. How ironic - the current series is "peace". And when I got up the nerve to share with my family here that I was feeling homesick, they immediately asked what we do in the US to celebrate the 4th of July. Then we created our own 4th of July celebration together here at home and it was awesome - I'll write about all of the details tomorrow. Believe me, nobody else had a 4th of July like mine! Jose and Karla are the best!

I will keep you updated tomorrow about what happens when Mel gets here. It's nice to finally know that he will be here tomorrow. Now we just have to wait and see what happens. Jose and Karla are glued to the tv, but I can't take it any more. I don't need to say it, but I will anyway: Please pray for the safety of every person in this country and for the country as a whole, that this situation can be resolved quickly and without violence.

Update on Utila Folks

For those of you who have been asking about the folks in Utila, I have some good news to share. Randy Nexvold and his two girls got back home safely to California last night. Steve, from The River Church is continuing his ministry by heading to Nicaragua from San Pedro Sula in the morning. The final family leaves from SPS on Saturday as well. And that's when Tony and Evelin will drive back home from Ceiba. Remember, worrying doesn't help, but prayers are in order.

One part of the group is home, three more to go!

Nothing big to report on the news front. Even the streets of Roatan are filled with people protesting against Mel. The 72 hours is over tomorrow so it seems like he will return tomorrow to try to regain the presidency. Some news reports say that by law he will be jailed immediately if he returns. I think that's what will happen, but we'll see.

No matter what happens, if he returns it will be "feo" - a word that has taken on a new meaning for me. To me, "feo" used to just mean ugly, like the opposite of handsome. Now it means much more.

Looking back I realize this is getting repetitive, but each day I hear from new people who are praying for this country and the safety of the people here, so once again - thank you so much for your prayers. It has been great to hear from several people from my church in the states. It feels awesome to know that you guys are fully aware of what is going on and praying.

I will end the day with two simple observations that I keep thinking about, but forget to write. First - ALL of the huge trucks - not tractor trailers but trucks for hauling sand or big loads - have bible verses written across the top of the windshield here. I'm not sure why, but it's on all of them. The second thing is actually a question. Have you ever been in a pretty high-end grocery store (think of Smiths or King Supers) that sells machetes? I have.

Good night from my pink bedroom in Honduras.

Helicopters Overhead

I was successful in my first goal for today - to sleep late. Valery, Karina and I all slept until 11:30 this morning. I woke up feeling great!

Today there is the sound of helicopters constantly in the air. Therefore, I was unsuccessful at completing my second goal, which is to avoid the news. Turns out the helicopters are probably to have photographers in the air, not military force. But I just went downstairs to ask what was going on and I wasn't sure that I was watching Honduran news. People dressed in what I would call traditional African garb (but they are native here - I'm just saying African garb to try to paint a picture for you) are in the streets smoking marijuana wrapped in cigar wrappers and blowing on conch shells. They are holding signs in support of Mel. Many of them are wearing red in support of Mel - even red dresses and headwraps for the native (Karina and Karla call them "indigenous") people.

Yesterday a text message went around that everyone here should wear white to show support for the country as a whole, and to make the statement that they would like to handle things without outside influence.

Karina said there are big protests near the church. Had Jairo not shut down the breakfast program for today, I may have gone. Karla was supposed to go into her work at the bank, but she is at home as well.

The difference between today and other days is that the hugest protest is near the president's offices where people are marching near the opposing side. There is a lot of military between them, but there is definitely the opportunity for violence. In the past days, protests have been for one side or the other, but they have not faced off before.

I will post my photos from yesterday, read my books, pray for Tony and his crew's safe return, and try to block out the sound of helicopters.

I will add more later if things escalate today. I really appreciate the emails and comments I have received in the past 2-3 days. Thanks guys! I love you and I am safe in my bed with lots of books and pictures to post.

Temporary Escape

Got up early today and went to La Tigra with some local folks (one is an ice skater!?!) for a hike. I packed up a bunch of sandwiches and "churros" (which are like potato chips, but they are fried platanos with chile y limon), gatorade, water and apples.

We hiked from about 9am - 2:30pm and went higher into the rainforest than I have been before. The trees were at least as wide as the giant redwoods in California and everything was dripping with moss. It was awesome!

The red mushrooms I took a photo of on Monday opened up and grew several inches. I took a bunch of pictures of mushrooms (red, yellow, orange, blue, green, brown, beige), but I wasn't fast enough to get a photo of the poisonous snake that crossed our path as we first entered the forest. I would like to note for the record: That was the closest I have come to danger since I have been here. :-)

It felt great to get away from the news. I didn't watch or listen to any news today.

The breakfast program is cancelled. I was told that Jairo would prefer all of the children stay in their homes today and tomorrow. So I will sleep in tomorrow and do a little reading.

Several people have asked if I plan to stay in Honduras until my planned return date on 8/13. The answer at this time is yes. I see no reason to leave. I pray about it every day and I have not had any feelings that God is done with me here, or that I am unsafe. Or course, this could change, but at this time I do expect to be in Honduras until August 13th.

Good night, buenas noches!