 |
 |
Last night a friend called looking for help for a girl who was beaten unconscious by her boyfriend. I told her I had no clue what to do, but I could talk to the lawyer who works with our program. Before I knew it the lawyer took action and I was involved in the situation. Ugh. The boyfriend's mother is a judge. Justice in this type of situation is not common. What's more common is consequences for the people who report the injustice. That's why I really didn't want to be involved. But we hope Honduras is changing. And we have to do what is right. All I can say is the lawyer is much braver than I.
Our first home visit this morning was more a therapy session for the mother. She is terrified her son will be killed because of his haircut. The gangs in his area have put out a notice that nobody is to wear their hair long on top. The lady said her son is usually respectful and obedient but he really didn't want to get his hair cut. This was the first time he has really asserted his independence. His parents had to force him to cut his hair for his own safety. It turned into a bigger situation than the mother has had to handle in the past. She realizes her son is growing up and this is a learning experience for them all. Mostly she needed someone to talk to.
It was interesting hearing all of the ways Impacto Juvenil has influenced that family. Through the Strong Mothers program the mother was empowered to speak up for herself. She told us she was raised to never say anything, even if she was being disrespected or abused. Her husband was involved in drugs and gang activity. After realizing that was not the life she wanted for her family, she gave her husband an ultimatum. If he didn't straighten up, he had to leave. Now he works and is a good father to his children. By looking at him, you'd never know he had such a difficult past. She is a strong mother!
She also talked about the parenting skills they learned in Familia Fuerte (Strong Families). They were taught the importance of parents presenting a united front. She and her husband work hard to not undermine each other's authority. I was impressed that they both went to the barbershop with their son and talked to the barber about options for his hair that would not get him killed on the streets. They seem to make a good team.
Before parenting classes she believed that corporal punishment was the most effective way to correct her children. She openly said she hit her kids out of anger and frustration. Now that she has other, more effective tools, she sees that spanking or hitting with a stick is not healthy or effective.
She has even become a strong advocate for her children at school. The school tried to expel her son when he was sick for an extended period with hepatitis. She knew her son's rights and fought hard to keep him in school.
What an amazing example! I told my boss that we should have this lady come and share her testimony with other parents.
Today's climbing was less paths and more small dirt roads. We even had some pavement with sidewalks! This area is much more populated than where we were yesterday.
My coworker who lives in this community always invites me for lunch. The last time I was sure I ate the last of their beans and meat. I felt terrible. In an effort to avoid that situation, I decided to take my two coworkers out to lunch.
We took a moto-taxi down the mountain to the closest restaurant. From there we went the rest of the way to the bottom to do a home visit. Afterward we waited on the side of the road for a moto-taxi to take us back up. It's a good two miles up windy roads. Normally there are moto-taxis everywhere. We were surprised when we waited and waited but none passed by. Later we learned that the gangs robbed a moto-taxi driver at gunpoint. Moto-taxis stick together, so all of them stopped working for the day. Seems like it punished us more than the gangs.
I copied this photo from the internet in case you aren't familiar with moto-taxis.
At the end of the day I asked my friend if the parents really needed to be worried about their son being snatched from the streets and killed for wearing his hair too long. He looked at me with big eyes, surprised I didn't know the answer to my own question. He said yes. Normally these things do not reach his area, but these days the gangs who rule his part of the city have put out a warning that men cannot wear red shirts, have long hair or pierced ears. He said everyone is following the rules, but the first person who doesn't will be beaten and the second person will be killed.
This happened two years ago in Los Pinos, so it's not new. In fact, in Los Pinos the gangs had many more rules, including rules for how women could dress and wear their hair.
The gang presence was obvious, but we wear florescent green polo shirts with florescent green vests so we are easily identifiable. We've been in the neighborhood for over 10 years so they know we are there to help families. So far they don't mess with us.
Tomorrow is swimming!
