Sometimes being a missionary in a different country, in a different culture is difficult. You leave behind your friends and the people you really trust. The people you can unload on. The people you can talk to about anything and everything.
When you have something you need to talk about it's hard. You don't want to be seen as a gossip or a trouble maker. You don't want to spew your negativity onto innocent friends. Who do you talk to? Who can you trust?
When it comes to the nitty gritty, sadly, I have decided the best answer is nobody. Yet, keeping things to yourself is tough. Solving the problems that life throws at you, or trying to solve them all on your own sucks. It's a difficult place to be. It is a place I have never been until I became a missionary in Honduras.
One advantage I have is that most of the time I am not speaking in my native tongue. That has saved me more times than I probably realize. You see, in Spanish my tongue is not so quick. Those "Huh oh. Did I really just say that?" moments happen much less frequently in my second language.
I am trying my best to deal. I am trying to make the right choices. I am trying to treat people well. I am trying to be a good representative of North Americans, of my church, of what a Christian person should be.
When I am angry I try to remember:
1 John 2:9 (NLT)
If anyone claims, "I am living in the light," but hates a Christian brother or sister that person is still living in darkness.
Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
And I have been trying to live by this gem:
Luke 6:27-36 (ESV)
But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Focusing on these helps most of the time. Other times I am just plain lucky that I don't know how to tell someone off in Spanish.
