Actually this day did not have a great start. I woke to the sound of my cat vomiting. As I gained consciousness I immediately hoped she was not vomiting on the bed. I looked down and thought, "Phew!" She was not vomiting on the bed. But my relief vanished quickly as I oriented myself enough to realize that she was vomiting on my computer. In the end no harm done. Just an early (5 a.m.) wake up call. I cleaned up and realized it was still dark. The sun used to rise at 4:45 before I left for vacation in June. Now it rises at 5:15 a.m. and sets at 6:15 p.m., so I get an extra half hour of daylight every evening. I appreciate that extra time for errands or if I want to go for a run.
I fell back asleep eventually and had a funny (funny ha-ha) dream about my best friend from high school. Waking up from that dream was a better way to start the day.
Jairo came and picked me up with no Lourdes. She is sick at home with a bad migraine. It was Marlin and me running the breakfast program alone. There were a lot of kids. Over 60. I don't know because I didn't have time to count. They prayed very well. I asked the preschoolers to line up to wash their hands. Then I asked anyone 6 years old or younger to wash their hands. Suddenly there was massive pushing and shoving and by the time I could regain control most of the group was in line. Marlin came out of the kitchen and we had everyone over 6 sit back down. We fed the younger ones before they were trampled to death (JUST KIDDING!!). Then we had the older kids line up. There was still a lot of pushing and shoving. We have many new kids attending this week because there has been no school all week. Some are older teens who don't know the rules yet and some are very young and haven't been in an organized program before. It is great to see new faces, but it makes things a little harder to manage.
I had a personal lesson about Mexican Spanish vs. Honduran Spanish. I first spoke Spanish with Mexican friends. Some of the sayings that are acceptable in Mexico are not acceptable in Honduras and visa versa. Today a boy said a word that is the equivalent of "F you" to a Mexican person. I told him he cannot use bad words, so he could choose to go to the end of the food line or to leave. (He had also been pushing and shoving and has a history of poor behavior.) The boy stood his ground and refused to budge. Don Juan came over and stood by me and I repeated the options for him. Finally, he went to the end of the line. On the way home I was telling Jairo the story. Jairo said that in Honduras what he said translates to "don't bother me" or "don't mess with me" and is very common. I think I might start saying it now. - Just kidding. To me it still sounds ugly. But I did feel bad for punishing the boy for something that is commonly said. I will apologize tomorrow.
The dishes all got washed but stricter supervision was necessary. Kids were running around barefoot, refusing to put their shoes on. I thought it was Friday, so I kept telling the kids to put the chairs and tables away for church on Sunday. They got most of the stuff put away before someone finally told me that today is only Thursday. I felt dumb for the second time and asked why nobody told me it was Thursday. The kids just laughed.
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| One of the newest boys, Marco |
After I thought they all had left Don Juan made an urgent gesture and asked me to come. The kids were all standing in the street outside the church. At first glance it looked like a massive fight. About 15 of them were screaming at each other. Don Juan said one of them was jumping on the side of trucks and trying to hold on. (That boy will not be allowed at the Breakfast Program tomorrow, per Jairo.) I went outside the gates and shooed them all down the hill and onto the sidewalk. Some were crying. Some were refusing to walk so they were being dragged. I have no idea what in the world was going on, but we will certainly discuss it tomorrow. It was not safe for any of us to discuss it then. Too many kids are hurt in that street. Lourdes tells them every day to be careful in the street. Today I wrapped up prayer time with a prayer that they would cross the street safely! Tomorrow we will have yet another serious discussion.
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| Another new face! |
The second group came later than usual. They still have school this week and are learning to dance with a broomstick, or at least that's what they practice with when they are at the church. Marlin and I were busy until later in the day, but during the break between groups Marlin's friend, Anna visited. We talked and talked. She sells barrretts, hair clips, bracelets and little trinkets. The kids loved her stuff. She is raising 3 boys, ages 12, 7, and 2 by herself since her husband left her for the second time. She hopes he will return like he did last time. She has told the kids if he comes back they are to receive him with open arms and not be angry. I think if my husband left me with 3 kids (twice) I might be angry. But it sure is easier for her heart if she keeps this mindset. She said used to think bad things about herself, but after reading the bible she has a clearer mind. She loves him, he is her husband, and she hopes he will come home. I liked Anna. Her kids are nice. They may start coming to the breakfast program. I hope so.
Moments like that - sitting and chatting with Marlin and Anna, are so much easier than they used to be. Now I can understand the majority of what is said. When there is something I don't understand I ask, rather than just letting it all go over my head. Before I would just be quiet and pick up bits and pieces in a conversation like that. Now I feel like I am one of the women. It is nice to not feel like an outsider.
Jairo was in a meeting all day with Ethel, the head of the elders. Walter went again to get my package but they told him to come back later. I am excited to get it! He also went to get rope for the scratching post that Don Juan is building for my cat. Don Juan is so excited about this scratching post. Jairo explained that when I first asked Don Juan to build the scratching post, Don Juan didn't understand because the concept of building a toy for a cat is unknown in Honduras. Now every day Don Juan asks me if my cat is lonely and when I will bring my cat to the church to visit. I'm sure he still thinks I am a crazy gringa, but at least it gives him something to do when he can build toys for my cat.
Ethel, the head of the elders, asked me to show her my classroom. I was excited but also nervous to show her. She said it is very nice. I felt proud and honored at the same time, but I must say it was Lourdes and some of the older girls who made the classroom the way it is.
After the kids all left, then Marlin and her friend Anna were gone and I was alone waiting for Jairo to finish his meeting. I found Don Juan sitting in his usual spot. I sat down with him, in his perch at the end of the buildings, looking over the city. As storm clouds rolled in, my eyes were drawn the houses that rise up the side of the mountain across the street. That mountain is the colony of Los Pinos. The kids from the breakfast program come from Los Pinos. It is so beautiful to me, I could stare at the side of that mountain for days and never get sick of it. Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy, to see beauty in such poverty. I don't think normal people see shacks of plywood and sheet metal as beautiful. I wonder why I do. Maybe it is the simplicity of it all. At the same time that I recognize the people there live in deep poverty, I also believe that in some ways, some of the people there have more than we can imagine. I think by cutting down to basics they might be able to focus more on God and their own heart and soul, and find true joy. At least I hope so. Maybe I need to think that in order to have hope for them.
We heard a person yelling and cursing in the streets. Don Juan ran to make sure the gates were locked. He saw it was the father of one of my favorite teenagers from the Breakfast Program. Apparently the father is often not coherent from mental illness. His son is always very sweet. I asked Don Juan about several other families. Two of the new kids who just started coming this week have a mother who is deaf and mute and a father who is never sober. There were other similar stories. None good.
Oh, I forgot to tell you that Don Juan got new teeth today! When I got out of the car this morning I went to his office to say hello and he greeted me with a smile full of teeth! I blurted out, "I like your teeth!" before I took time to consider if that was an appropriate compliment or not. I think it was. Six weeks ago he got all of his teeth pulled and couldn't eat anything solid for a while. He said he has to "practice" all over again to learn to talk and to eat with his new teeth. They sure are a mouth full. He didn't eat any lunch.
Finally Jairo came down from his office and talked with Don Juan about how the swimming pool will be set up for baptisms this weekend. Apparently it is a HUGE pool, about 4 feet deep. 19 people are being baptized in it Sunday! Then Monday the kids from the Breakfast Program will be allowed to swim in it. Jairo said it is too much water to waste if the kids don't get the chance to swim in it for a day or two :) I bet most of them never get to swim. There is a stream that runs through Los Pinos, but it is the most filthy thing I have ever seen, filled with all kinds of garbage. Monday will be interesting. I'll take photos. I must admit I am not looking forward to it because I worry it is going to be out of control, but I have to change my thinking and understand that this is a fun, new opportunity for the kids.
Today when things got challenging I kept reminding myself that this program is for fun, socialization and learning. 70 kids are not going to be perfectly behaved. This is a learning experience for me too - in patience and not to take things too seriously. I am trying to be aware of areas where I have some room to grow. I am comfortable working within rules and structure. For those of you who don't know me personally, I'm not a control freak, I swear. I am big on safety though and I feel responsible for these kids. I've found that hugs and smiles help a lot, so you'll see me hugging and smiling more when I am stressed or feel that things are out of control. It worked today. Things were hectic, but everyone had a good time, they had time with God, they all got fed, and nobody was hurt. To me that makes it a good day.
On the way home Jairo told me a story. It is about the difference between cats and dogs. He said, "Dogs will look at you and say, 'Look at how she treats me. She feeds me. She plays catch with me. She takes me for a walk. She shows me love. She is God.'" Then he said, "Cats will look at you and say, 'Look at how she treats me. She feeds me. She builds me a scratching post and gives me special toys. She loves me. I am God.'" Jairo said this comparison can be used for people too. Just a thought -
I hope you end your day with a full heart and a smile. : )
