First, I should improve my Spanish. After a newer car, my next investment will be in Spanish classes. I can communicate effectively in all of the day to day things, but if I were more proficient I could communicate on deeper levels and serve in more profound ways. I have the experience and education, but am lacking in the ability to communicate as well as I would need to for the jobs I am qualified to perform.
Secondly, I really need to know and be known in the community where I am going to serve. I love being in several different communities, but I think I would be more effective if I focus on one place.
Today strangers were coming up to me and asking for things. Yesterday one school director asked what I can give to their school. Unfortunately, this is the mindset of many people in Honduras. On Tuesday a teacher was frustrated. He said kids are being raised to believe they are not capable of becoming independent adults. They think they need someone else to step in and take care of themselves and their family. They grow up and don't bother to look for jobs because they expect a handout, he said.
At the campaign last week a boy came up to me, stuck out his hand, and said, "Give me money." People notice my lighter skin and hair (which I am coloring darker tomorrow for this reason) and think I am going to give them free things. This manner of thinking exists because many North Americans came before me and showed their love in material ways. It's well intentioned. I am positive of that. But it is hurting this country.
In order to combat this I figure it will take about two years of working within one community, amongst the people, so they can see who I am, what I do, and what I don't do. I am here, as my Pastora prophesied in 2009, to serve with my heart and with my words, but not in a materialistic way. Once the people I serve realize that, I will be able to serve them more effectively.
If I focus on only one community I will become more visible there. The people will get used to having me around. They will have the opportunity get to know me for me, not for the ideas that my skin color brings to mind.
I feel excited about this. In the beginning of each year we always have a lot of changes at work. It's perfect timing to explain my thoughts to my boss and see what she says. She is well aware of the problems my skin color brings so I think she will understand.
On a similar but separate note, today I asked my security guard if he thought I could drive myself to my club each week. He is a police officer. I trust his opinion. He said I should talk to his boss, which is the official response he should give.
When he and the driver came back to pick me up the two of them had obviously talked about it. The driver asked why I wanted to drive my own car. I told him sometimes I feel like a burden. It seemed safe enough, I'd only be stepping out of my car and going three steps into the building. He asked what happens if my car gets scratched and nobody is willing to say who did it? I didn't expect him to think about my car.
Then the security guard spoke up. He said you cannot go there in your own car. You have to go with security. I explained that sometimes I feel bad because none of my coworkers have security. I want to be like them. This morning my coworker traveled with security for the first time, only because she was with me. It was kind of a pain in the neck because we have to plan everything ahead and we have to time everything perfectly. We didn't get to visit two houses because we ran out of time and had to get back to the place where the car was coming to get us.
Both the driver and the security guard said that I should not feel like a burden to anyone. This is their job and they are here to serve. Then the security guard said that the places we serve are too dangerous. The fact that I look different than everyone else attracts attention. He said I absolutely must travel with security.
So, I guess I don't need to ask his boss. And I won't feel bad for asking for transportation. I am glad to know that they see it as necessary. Sometimes I worry they think I am lazy and I don't want to walk or take public transportation like the rest of my coworkers.
I am really blessed to work in a place that takes my personal safety so seriously. They have a lot of very important people to keep safe. Other people within my organization are fighting corruption in high places. They have their lives threatened on a daily basis. But the drivers and security still care about little old me.
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| Working on a needlepoint project for school |
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| I loved seeing two boys busy with needlepoint! |
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| I loved meeting this lady. She was so proud of her tortillas! She would like to sell other types of food because she said everything she cooks turns out great! Right now she is making tortillas because it is the best schedule for her, as a single mother, to care for her children. She said she is capable of anything she puts her mind to. ♥ |
As a final note, a special friend asked me to share a prayer request. She says it better than I could:
"I would like to ask you to pray for our friend Mike. He goes to our church, is only 41, has a wife and 5 young children. He was having trouble swallowing and went to the doc. Well, to make a long story short, his life changed in an instant when he was told that he has stage 4 cancer in his throat, lungs, and liver. :( :( It's absolutely devastating. He is such an amazing man of God and is doing God's work throughout the community in many ways. The doctor said it will take nothing less than a major miracle for him to survive this. SO WE ARE ALL PRAYING FOR MIKE'S MIRACLE! Please join us."
