I don't know many songs in Spanish, so I had to ask the kids for help. The girls were very helpful, but the older boys were just the opposite. Eunice had to come out of the office to punish one of them. Then I ended up punishing three more. Punishment at the breakfast program means getting your food last. It also means sitting separately from the rest of the group while we are singing and praying. Tomorrow Lourdes will talk to the older boys. I have a hard time because really, the way they were behaving they should have been asked to leave. But I just can't ask them to leave knowing I am taking away what may be the only food they get all day. Lourdes will figure out how to handle things tomorrow, because otherwise this could be a weekly occurance now that Lourdes stays home every Monday.
The good news is that they did clean every dish and leave early. The adults had eaten and cleaned up by 1pm. I was about to call my taxista to take me back home when Jairo arrived. Then Lourdes' mother and brother came. They had been at the hospital. It was a long day for them. At 5 a.m. they got on a bus and were held up at knife point. Nestor, Lourdes' brother, was almost in tears as he spoke of it. He has had a rough few days. Last week he lost his job at the airport and now today he and his mother were held up at knife point. I think he felt bad that he couldn't protect his mother. He is a little bit mentally delayed. To me, it is not that noticeable. He is a kind man and a hard worker. Lourdes' mother said this is the first time in her life that she has ever been held up.
On the way home I was telling Walter I felt bad for Nestor because he is still really upset. Walter laughed. I asked why he would laugh when Nestor was almost crying. Walter said it's over and in the past. Now all you can do is laugh. I didn't feel like laughing. But I do feel grateful that they are both unharmed, just shaken up.
I feel bad that I can't control all of the kids when Lourdes and Walter aren't there. I think it would have been fine if the food was ready, but having to entertain them all with children's songs is hard. The older kids don't like to sing silly kids' songs. I wish I could have done better. Sadly, I think the way I could have done better is punish them more quickly and maybe even more strongly. I'll have to talk to Lourdes about how to handle this in the future. And also talk to the kitchen about having food ready on Mondays so we can pray, feed them, and they can leave. It is just really disappointing when the younger kids behave well and it is the older kids (who should be setting a good example) who have the poorest behavior. Today was not the best day. But we fed almost 60 kids so I guess the basic point of the program was met. I just like it so much more when we can have fun and enjoy our time together. I don't like having to be strict with them. These kids have such a difficult lives, I like the church to be their refuge.
A new boy I don't know was pretending to karate chop the boy next to him while we were praying. The boy next to him ignored it. I tried getting his attention but he was too busy karate chopping. Finally I walked over and stood in front of the karate chopper. I whispered firmly, "We are praying!" Then I lifted my right arm to make the motion of covering my own eyes. (If they have trouble concentrating Lourdes taught them to cover their eyes.) But when I lifted my arm up he jumped back in his seat and covered his face with his hands. After seeing that reaction I knew he has definitely been hit before. He thought I was going to hit him! I felt horrible. I asked him to have respect for God and sit quietly. I should have told him that I will never, ever hit him.
We can't imagine what these kids' home lives are like. For that reason I am not quick to discipline them, although it might be what they need most. In the US when I worked with boys I never had this problem. I was always one of the strictest staff. But here it is so different. I am still trying to find the delicate balance.
