Two bad things did happen. I found out a friend has prostate cancer and another friend with leukemia is 4 months pregnant. But otherwise today was completely amazing.
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| This is my friend Dave and me at Telluride Bluegrass Festival in 2012. I expected to see him again on Saturday at this year's festival. For about the past 9 years Dave has camped there with my group of friends. Due to his recent diagnosis of prostate cancer, he won't be at Telluride this year. I am praying that we will see him next year, restored to full health. For now, he will be greatly missed. |
I finally got to really test drive my car on an uncongested highway. It ran like a dream so I slowed down when I saw I was going 120 km/hr in a 40 km/hr zone. Oops!
We had the most incredible time of worship at church. I'll admit that usually I am done with singing after about the 4th song. Today we say 9 or 10 songs and the spirit was really moving among us. It was great! Jairo was not supposed to speak today. He is still officially on medical leave. But he got up to say that he could feel the spirit moving and he knew big things were going to happen today in the church.
Luis Urbina spoke. He has a gift for preaching, although it is not his official "job". In his message he asked if we are aware of what we really want in life? And if we do know what we want, then do we seek after God with our whole hearts to pray for those things? (Jeremiah 29:11-14) There was a lot more to it. People were really, really moved. Myself included. He said do you have needs? Are you sick? Are you without provisions? And if you do have everything you need do you seek after God with all your heart to share your prosperity and blessings with others who need it? - that's where I thought I fit in. It was a beautiful service.
After church a friend of Lourdes and Jairo's split the cost with me and we took the Sarmientos, Belinda's family, and Walter out for pizza. I told Jairo he should choose the place because of his dietary restrictions. He said pizza is less greasy than Chinese food, so we went to Al Padrino. It was a nice lunch. Jairo said he thought it was even more tasty today than usual.
As we were leaving Jairo came to my car. He told me that tomorrow he needs to go to the bank. I didn't really understand why he was telling me this until the very end. Basically the church would like to offer me some financial assistance for my time in the US! I sat in shock as he turned and walked away. I didn't even compose myself enough to say thank you. Then I burst into tears. And my car was parked behind Jairo's so they couldn't leave until I got myself together enough to drive. I still become tearful thinking of this. The church doesn't have money. I don't know how they can afford to help me like this, but it is not my place to ask. I can only be grateful.
Sometimes I have problems with self worth. When things like that happen (the church offers me money), or when someone from the church whom I barely knew offers to pay my car insurance for a year, or when 4 people ask if I need a ride to the airport, and many tell me I will be missed when I go to the US this week, or when Christian (Conejo) asks his Mom if he can go to the US with me, or when Lourdes meets me at church this morning with a box FULL of jewelry she made for me (then compliments me on how nice I look when I wear it), or when a friend from the US tells me she is excited to talk to me on the phone - sometimes these things surprise me. I am not good at receiving because I don't feel worthy.
We all went back to Lourdes and Jairo's house. I collapsed in a pile of tears when they walked into the house and I tried to thank them. They told me the church's money is God's provision for me. I explained sometimes I don't feel worthy of such good things. I don't remember exactly what Lourdes said because I was sobbing and trying to explain in Spanish how I felt, but at one point she said something about a husband for me. That sobered me up quick. I stopped crying and said, "Thank GOD I do not have a husband yet because until I learn to value myself more, I can't choose a man who will be good for me." She agreed. I am praying this will be my next area of personal growth. Not the husband, but that I can know my own self worth.
Lourdes did some spring cleaning. She gave me a ton of shoes for every occasion, some dressy jackets, warm jackets, even a full length coat. She gave me purses and blouses and a cool bible bag. I needed help to get everything out to the car. It reminded me of when I was leaving to move to Honduras. I gave away almost everything that I couldn't fit into my suitcases. I came here with 2 suitcases. Now I have a full wardrobe with more clothes than I need.
Lessons for today: God always provides. I am appreciated and loved.
Thank you for reading! Another lesson in self worth - I am always shocked to see that an average of 40-50 people from literally all over the world read my blog every day. Thank you for caring about what is going on in Honduras. And thank you to those who care about me.
