Today we got to hand out uniforms, backpacks and tons of school supplies. The kids came to our "consultorio" (field office) with their mothers and picked up their stuff because it was too heavy for us to deliver. It was almost too heavy for them to carry home!
The backpacks were super nice, and well made. Inside were 10 spiral notebooks, 5 pencils, 8 pens, scissors, a huge bottle of glue, rulers and all sorts of measuring things that I don't recognize, smaller notebooks, and I don't know what else.
Some of the kids left shrieking with excitement! All of them were very happy. It was more gifts than most of them will receive all year.
I had an exceptional day on a personal level too. I've been really stressed out about how to handle all of the new responsibilities I've been given. One specific thing just didn't feel right.
I talked to a couple of friends, my Mom and Pastora Ruth. Each of them said I was taking on too much and needed to talk to my boss. I tried to talk to my boss twice, but each time I felt like she wasn't really hearing what I was saying, which is not normally like her.
Even after showing her a written list of each of my weekly responsibilities, my boss still didn't see that there are not enough hours in the week to get it all done. I was concerned she would think I am lazy, or unwilling to help in the way she needs me, so I was worried about how to approach her a third time.
At the retreat last weekend I kept telling God that I was putting the whole situation in His hands. It was clear to me which responsibilities I should accept, and which I should not take on. But I didn't know how to get rid of the things I didn't feel called to do. I kept checking in with myself to make sure that it wasn't a case of "I don't want to" rather than "I don't feel called to". But the fact is that I am doing new things which I find less fun and more challenging. So that wasn't it.
I know He wants me in the Wednesday morning class for kids with conduct disorder and autism. I know this because He gave me a love for those kids that doesn't come from a human heart. The love I felt for them can only come from God, because I simply don't know them well enough to love them as much as I already do. Plus He gave me wisdom and confidence to handle a really tough job. I know that is God.
And my excitement about teaching women reading, writing and math is so strong. It doesn't feel like a challenge, it feels like a calling. I can't wait to be with those women, sitting around a table next to them, studying and learning about their lives. The way I can imagine it so clearly in my mind and the excitement I have, I know that this is coming from God.
However, I just couldn't picture myself running my own club in Villa Nueva. My boss kept telling me I was going to, yet I couldn't imagine it. I told my Mom that I thought God was going to take that off my plate. Normally if I try to picture myself doing something and I can't imagine it, that means it is not going to come to pass.
So I tried not to stress out about running the club because the idea of it felt really overwhelming. I had nightmares about it.
Today the woman whose club I was supposed to take over told me she is going to continue to run her own club! I was so relieved I cried. She and my coworkers didn't know that our boss had asked me to take over her club. My coworkers all thought I was crazy for breaking down in tears when she said she wasn't leaving her club.
Now I can spend the next year learning from her. She is one of the best, so she can teach me how to run a club really well. And if they need me to run a club (maybe next year in Los Pinos?!) I will be trained and ready. But for now that is off the table.
What a relief!
I came home and was gabbing with Fany about something and suddenly I said, "Oh! I have great news!"
She looked at my face and said, "You don't have to run a club."
I said "YES! I feel like my life is perfect now. I don't have any worries at all."
I never expected that God would resolve the situation this way, but it really is the best plan for the kids and for me, so I am grateful. Everything feels really balanced and good. I feel challenged, but not overwhelmed.
PS: Lisa, Thank you for getting on me about this. Between you and Pastora Ruth, I knew I had to do something. Happy that God took care of it all! Thanks for your support.
