Tonight I met with Pastora Ruth before prayer group. I told her about all the ways God has been moving in my life this week. I arrived so full of joy she was excited for me too. She asked everyone to look at me and see my joy.
I explained the reasons why I was so happy. The puzzle pieces of my future are finally coming together and I feel complete. I have a plan that makes sense! God is answering my prayers about how He wants me to serve Him. Now it seems so plainly obvious I can't believe I didn't see it before. But as a friend pointed out, had I known what I was called to do I would have jumped right into it, and until now I was not ready. God's timing is perfect. I finally see my new calling
As I spoke with joy and passion about the past 3 days Pastora Ruth pointed out something about the story, a tiny detail, that I had not noticed before. And my heart broke.
I don't feel comfortable sharing it because I don't see a way that sharing this publicly could help, and I do see how sharing this could hurt. It reaffirmed what God has been telling me all week - that I need to work in Los Pinos.
The prayer group was exactly what I needed after realizing that what Pastor Ruth pointed out was true. I spent half of the time sobbing like I haven't cried since... I can't remember when.
We prayed about the situation. My specific prayer is that people's hearts can be so full of God's love and their tummies with food that they don't look for or accept unhealthy ways to cover up and fill their emptiness. One of Ruth's prayers, when I was crying so hard that I couldn't pray anymore and she took over, was that my hugs and my words could fill people with God's love. I pray that too.
I can't stop crying. Now I can see what my heart is broken for, and God is leading me to serve there. Makes sense.
 |
