WHY?

Tonight as I was writing my blog for the day, I was also watching the news.  They had a breaking story that a body had been found on the side of a road in a zone where there was construction, but not very inhabited.  I was going to comment in my blog that I still have a hard time adjusting to the way news is covered outside of the US.  When I was in Thailand, I saw things on the news that are never shown in the US - dead bodies namely.  It is the same in Central America.

Tonight they showed a man with a red towel over his face.  He was also dressed in red socks.  He wore a special camoflage uniform that is specific to highly trained, tactical units of the police called "Cobras".  His body was lying on the pavement, at the side of a road.  You could clearly see where a bullet had entered the side of his head.  Blood was running down the street.

After seeing all of the dead bodies in the newspaper today, I really didn't think much about who it was.  I only thought about the way nothing was cushioned, or presented in a more gentle way.  It was so brutal and all of it was right there, whether you wanted to see it or not.  (I'm thinking people outside of the US are accustomed to seeing the news presented this way, so it was probably not as impactful to them.)

Now an hour and 1/2 later, I am watching the news again.  They just announced the body was that of Alfredo Villatoro, the famous radio journalist.  I know there are many, many people in this country who are sad right now.  It's like the bad guys won.  The press is emphasizing what an amazing man he was.  "Un buen Hondureño"  I texted Jairo to be sure he knows.  It will effect the church because he was the co-host of a radio show with a man from the church.  They hosted the most famous radio show in Honduras together for the past 20 years.

I am going to take time now to pray for his family others who cared about him.  The kids at the Breakfast Program are going to be sad tomorrow.  They know him as a radio personality their mothers' listen to.  They also have been praying for his safety every day since he was kidnapped.  There is too much sadness and pain already in this country.

Another senseless death.  WHY?

Pupusas, Proud Boys and Problems

Maybe you are sick of hearing "today was a great day".  If so, I am sorry, but I have to say it again.  I woke up really late today and had 9 minutes to get ready before Jairo called to say they would meet me at the pulperia.  Everyone was sleepy today.  I think it's the weather.  The rainy season is officially here.  It is dark and gloomy outside.  It's great sleeping weather, but it's more difficult to wake up - especially for Lourdes since she has the fibromyalgia.  Getting out of bed in the morning has been very hard for her lately.

Weeds?  Or herbs?

Despite everyone being sleepy today we worked hard in the kitchen.  I had watched Karla make pupusas when I lived here 3 years ago.  She always makes everything look easy.  Today when I got to the church they had a huge bowl of dough, shredded cheese that must have had eggs or milk to moisten it, and bowls of carrots, cabbage, onions, and cilantro.  When we ran out of cilantro they brought something that looked to me like regular weeds.  They made 2 toppings which are very traditional in Central America.  One is vinegar, cabbage, carrots and some seasoning.  The other is vinegar with onions, cilantro, and jalapeños.  People add other veggies/seasonings to their own taste.

Since they were thinly slicing everything (in the states we would have used a grater, but here it was all done by hand) I figured my best bet was to steer clear of the veggies.  So I helped roll the dough into balls.  We ended up with about 200 balls of dough, but there were lots of kids today because they have been looking forward to pupusa day since last week.

Dough being rolled into balls of dough, and the beans mixed with cheese

We flattened each ball of dough into a little tortilla, then spread a mixture of refried beans and cheese onto it with our finger, the same way you would spread pizza sauce onto pizza dough, leaving the edges dry.  Then you fold the edges in toward the middle until it is almost shaped like a ball again.  Then you flatten it again, trying not to make any cracks for the filling to leak out, but it happens anyway.  From there they get slapped on a griddle until golden brown and served with the cabbage topping.  Most of the kids chose the spicy jalapeño/onion topping too.

Stacking plates so everything is ready when prayer time is over and hands are washed
39 kids in the morning group today!

First I ate four pupusas for lunch.  Then I sat down for an afternoon snack with Jairo and ate two more.  My tummy is FULL!

I am starting to really feel connected with the kids now.  I have always cared for them, but now that I have had time to know them more as individuals, I am able to appreciate them even more.

Proud boys with new haircuts and a new trophy!

The boys showed up with their new haircuts and with a trophy they won in their soccer league.  I need to ask them more about their league tomorrow because I didn't understand that the trophy was something they had really earned.  I thought they were just joking because they kept calling it the World Cup.  They wanted their pictures taken with it, but I still thought it was a joke until Lourdes told me later about the local league.  I will have to ask them more about it tomorrow and tell them how awesome they are for winning it!

A lady came today and cut the girls' hair, but I didn't get many photos because I was in the kitchen cooking.

I got to show a mommy photos I took at my first week of church when Jairo did her son's blessing.  She loved the pictures.  I wish I had a printer every day because most of these people do not have any photos of their families.  When I get the chance, I show them on my computer, but I wish I could give them a copy to take home with them.  They love just to see the photo on my computer.

Last night I was watching the news and saw that a school was closed.  Today I learned it was Karlita's school.  Karlita is a very special girl.  She wants to be a teacher and takes her studies very seriously.  She is incredible with the kids.  She has the perfect blend of kindness and firmness in her tiny little body.  She is a hard worker but is still lots of fun.  She goes above and beyond to learn everything she can get her hands on.  She is constantly asking me phrases in English.  I need to make a conscious effort to teach her new things every day because she is so eager to learn.  Also she is taking piano lessons at the church from one of the older girls.  I admire her motivation.

Karlita cooking pupusas

Karlita (to separate her from the many other Karlas) explained to me that the students of the high school are protesting.  Last night I thought the alumni were protesting, because the word for word for students is "alumnos" but today she explained that they pay an annual amount to the school for busing, but bus rates have gone up and some people travel from far away, so they have to pay an additional amount each day to get to school.  She said for her it is not much, but for others it is a LOT.  It is kind of like a student strike, trying to get the school to change the policy of having to pay the annual fee and additional costs on top.  Karla is anxious to get back to her classes.

I read an article today about the man who was kidnapped - Alfredo Villatodo.  It was an editorial, pleading with the kidnappers to spare his life and give him back to his children and wife.  It talked about Mr. Villatodo being a man who came from nothing and fought hard to become a successful radio journalist.  It also said that being a successful journalist does not mean that he has very much money.  It talked a lot about how well respected he is, but that his value is because of the man he is, not his bank account.  Apparently the kidnappers are asking the family for a lot of money that simply doesn't exist.  The editorial talked about how much this country needs to change.

***Please read the addendum to this post which was written at 10:30 tonight entitled "WHY?".***

MLFHonduras.Blogspot.com

 

As I read on in the newspaper I read about murder after murder.  One whole page was full of various pictures of dead bodies in the area where Jairo went fishing the week before Easter.  I asked Jairo why?  Why are they killing people there?  Is it the drug trafficking?  His only answer was violence.  He doesn't know why all of the violence.

I read an article about the man who was charged with the rapes.  So far he has more than 20 rape charges.  It said exactly as Jairo told me, that he raped many girls between the ages of 9-16 (hearing the ages bothered me even more) and that accusations continue to be made against him every day.  How does someone get away with this for so long?  I also read about the father of two boys from our church.  I met the two boys last week when they were with my friend Karla.  Their father arrended the church a long time ago.  He was arrested at the border for terrorism with lots of weapons and evidence of plots to kill people.  He has a long history of this, but was released because they didn't follow the proper protocol when arresting him.  He will still be investigated and probably arrested again, but for now he is free.  I feel bad for his wife and his children.

I am continuing to pray I will be able to raise funds to live here, but I do feel frustrated that I can't do simple things like watch the amazing choir at the Catholic church directly across the street from my house because I could be kidnapped.  I listen to them every night from inside twelve foot walls, topped with rolls of barbed wire, that surround my house.  It is not fair but it is necessary.  I do understand.  I am grateful that I have people here who care for me and make sure I am safe.  I have no frustration toward the fact that I have rules.  I do have frustration toward the people whose violent behavior make the rules necessary.  I spend a lot of evenings reading, writing this blog, watching tv, or praying and reflecting because once the sun goes down by 6 pm, I have to stay inside.

I guess that makes my time at the breakfast program even more special.   I appreciate my time with others more.  Generally, I am a person who likes a lot of time alone.  I am also very independent.  These violent people are cramping my style!  : )  But my style will stay cramped and I will do as Jairo recommends so that I am safe.  Even with all of these restrictions, I hope I can stay here.  In Honduras I feel alive.  I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be, which is a feeling I don't get anywhere else.  I experience life more intensely and I live more intentionally.  I love it here!

My Mom hates it when I write about this stuff.  It is so hard for her to hear - you can imagine.  But the purpose of my blog is to share this experience with others and to keep memories for myself.  So, sorry Mom, or Aunts or anyone who may be upset by reading this.  I am safe.  If a time comes when I can't be safe, or when I feel too cramped, or if I no longer feel called to serve here (or if I can't raise the money to stay here) then I will come home.  Until then, I am living in a country where the fact is that violence is rampant.  But I am sheltered and coddled and happy and here.

Thank you so much for reading!