The Monday morning devotional at the office was once again enlightening. This week the theme was presented by members of our security team. They spoke about being strong and courageous Christians in every moment of our lives, not only when the situation requires. At the end of our time of devotion, I felt peaceful and strong. (And a little dopey from a cold I caught over the weekend.)
After the devotional we have a planning meeting to share what happened in the previous week and plan for the weeks to come.
In the middle of planning one of my co-workers raised her hand and asked for prayer for a woman we serve who is now in Mexico, trying to cross the border into the US illegally. As usual, the leader of my program did not say, "Well, that's life in Honduras." She was upset. She said, "Is she CRAZY?!!?! Why did she do that?" The word "crazy" in Honduras is a very strong word. It is taken very literally. People here don't use it as loosely as we do in the US. The lady who is trying to get into the US left behind four kids between the ages of 8 and 16. Also she is very beautiful. Everyone is worried that Mexican gangs will see her beauty and kidnap her.
That started a chain of prayer requests for the families we serve. One family's young son is in a coma in the hospital from Lupus. Two of his siblings died this year - I am not sure why. One more died of Lupus 2 years ago. This mother lost 3 children in 3 years and has a fourth in the hospital. She has one more child at home, but she won't allow him to leave the house because she is afraid he will get sick or die.
Another co-worker reported that a girl in her caseload has moved to a different city within Honduras. Her parents had to send her away because gang members were sitting outside of her house every day, waiting for her to leave so they could kidnap her. She is 14. She had to leave her family for her own safety. Praise God they had the resources and contacts necessary to send her to a safer place.
Last week at one of our three kids' clubs the gang members came with a clipboard. They called certain boys to come talk with them and asked wrote down their names. We are not sure if they were doing this to show off in front of us, or if they were really taking the names of some of the kids we work with. One of the mentors thought it was more for show.
Heavy rains knocked down the wall of a house that belongs to two kids from our project. Instead of doing the planned activity for the kids' club Saturday, all of the kids and mentors went to the house and cleaned up the flooding as best they could. The lady who runs our program asked if they will need assistance to rebuild the house. She asked the caseworker for the family to let her know as soon as possible. As I said before, she is a woman of action!
We stumbled into a problem with the group for abused ladies. This is a problem I have experienced before. Some of the women qualified for micro businesses. But a few did not qualify. Now there is an issue of jealousy. Those who aren't going to receive small business education say it's not fair.
This spurred a discussion about how to offer support without enabling. Some of the women earned the opportunity for a small business and some did not. Like the woman I wrote about a few weeks ago who believed she should graduated after only attending one class, many people don't seem to get the concept of working to "earn" something.
A mentor who has served his community for many years said it is important that people earn what they receive. Otherwise they become dependent on handouts and are driven deeper into the sense of entitlement that has developed in Honduras.
We brainstormed about how to provide for those who absolutely cannot obtain basic necessities on their own. Sadly, it is absolutely critical that we are very careful what we give, to whom we give, and how we give. For our own safety, nobody can know the provision came from us. Gift giving causes such huge problems that it necessary for us to be creative.
We talked about ways that people can work for basic staples by serving to better their community. We also thought of small jobs for teens who want to work for money. In the end it was decided that the only people who receive free food are families who have nobody capable of working. This could sound harsh. But everyone agreed that the culture of sitting and expecting handouts must not be encouraged.
It was interesting to hear Hondurans speak of this today. It has been a recurring theme for me. At the missionary conference last weekend we discussed how we can support people without causing dependence. Hondurans and long term missionaries seem to be on the same page. Not only do free handouts cause complacency and dependence, but receiving without giving causes a mentality of helplessness. People begin to believe they are not capable of providing for themselves because they are accustomed to receiving and receiving without putting forth any effort.
Some friends sent me an email about two weeks ago. They asked how they can give gifts to certain kids with whom they feel a special bond. A very reasonable question, right? Totally normal by North American standards to express your love through a gift. However, it is difficult to give material gifts, even to special friends, in Honduras. And it's equally difficult to explain why without seeming cold-hearted.
Today a co-worker spoke about the "Me, Me, Me" mentality. Sadly, we live in a culture where many people are not happy to see their neighbor blessed. They only think, "What about me?" Time after time we see that gift giving causes envy, jealousy and gossip within the community. Sometimes gifts can even cause robbery or physical threat. I encouraged my friends to show their love for their special kids in non-tangible ways and assured her that the best teams to ever pass through Honduras showed their love through actions, rather than gifts.
The Honduran culture in general is not big on gift giving, even at birthdays and Christmas. That seems to be a North American thing. Don't get me wrong. Honduran people are very generous. But they are more into expressing gratitude and love verbally or through spending time together. If they want to show thanks in a material way, they may make fancy handwritten cards. I've received beautiful cards from kids and adults alike.
Whether it be for basic provision, or to express love, sometimes the best intentions can turn into big problems when it comes to giving gifts in Honduras.
