Things are continuing to escalate...

Today when Karla and Jose got home they asked why I wasn´t watching the news. I had watched the news at noon and saw the all of Al Centro (downtown) is closed because they were expecting lots of protests, but at the time nothing had happened yet.

Karla sat down in my bedroom with a piece of paper and recounted how she had spent the last hours. People at work told her she wouldn´t be able to get home because the buses weren´t running, but she always takes taxis. She said people had been protesting outside of the bank all day, but she believes the bank is the safest building in the city. The windows are bullet proof and the bank was surrounded by the military (it´s an international bank), the police, and the bank´s own security. She left her work he in a cab to meet Jose at the babysitters. However, as she entered Plaza Miraflores, where Karina and I took the bus on Saturday, they saw a mass of protesters in the streets. Traffic was stopped. Then the protesters set fire to a bus in front of her. The cab managed to get away from the bus, but told her she must get out because he would not drive her any further. Before she had time to exit the cab, he drove away while she still had one leg in the car, knocking her over.
She started to run toward the babysitter´s house, but a mass of people were running against her, leaving the businesses in Plaza Miraflores. Behind her she heard explosions the air turned black. The protestors had set fire to a Popeye´s right where the cab had let her out. She couldn´t see through the black smoke, but she continued to run. Finally she decided that running against the herds of people was too hard, so she turned toward the main street, which was eerily vacant, except for police up on a bridge. She thought the police would shoot her. She started crying and wrapped her head in her hands to try to escape the smoke. Then she counted to 3 and darted across the street and up a hill. When she looked back all she could see was black smoke. She ran on that side street and saw a few blocks later that police had barracaded the main st, but by taking the side street she was able to pass. Then she had to cut back into the crowd to get to the babysitters. She called Jose. He said he was running in the streets too, and was close by. When she turned her head he was behind her. They got to the babysitters. The house was all closed up and the kids were all gathered in one room. The baby sitter, who is also a good friend, begged them not to leave, but they managed to get a cab and came home.

When I saw everything on the news tonight I couldn´t believe it. They showed the bus catching fire and burning to a shell. They showed the Popeye´s, first there and fine, then a cloud of black smoke. It all seemed to happen so fast.

After my experience yesterday, I was so glad I was not in Karla´s shoes today. She is so strong and brave, she was hardly upset by the time she got home. I am so grateful that she is safe.

There are rumors of worse things to come. The country is supposed to shut down completely on Thursday according to the neighbor (who has a daughter was fathered by Roberto Micheletti).

I will post about yesterday´s adventures later. We are going to watch a movie and it will be my last chance to watch a movie with my Honduran family. Tomorrow we are having a going away party. Then I leave Thursday if the airport is open.

Looking into the Future

On Saturday we went to Lourdes and Jairo's house for dinner. On the way there we stopped to see Karla's father's house, which is currently sitting empty. For a while Karina lived there, but she prefers to live with Jose and Karla because it is closer to the university. And their brother lived there too, but he's in the states now. Karla thinks her Dad should sell the house but he refuses. From what I understand he bought the land a long time ago and built the house a room at a time. Other family members built houses on the property as well, so one Aunt lives below the house, one to the side, and someone else above. I think Karla's Grandmother lived farther above before she passed away. Anyway now the house stands empty but her father doesn't want to sell it for sentimental reasons, and because he keeps hoping one of his kids will live there. He would prefer that it not stand empty, so Karla says I could live there rent free if I took good care of the house. I keep asking her if we can talk to her Dad about this, but so far she just tells me it will be fine.

To see the house we took a cab to a main intersection, where Karina said I would be able to get buses and cabs easily if I chose to live there. I'm thinking I would have my own vehicle, but it's good to know. Then we walked along the side of the mountain on mostly dirt roads which were really kind of just access roads, like alleys, for the houses along the way. There were some pulperias and Karina pointed out the local tortilla lady on the corner, saying that I would love her fresh tortillas.

There are two doors into the house. We only had the key for the upper door so we walked up narrow, uneven steps between the houses to get up to the door on the second floor. I was thinking "I hope we can get a key for the lower door because I don't want to climb those stairs in the dark, or with bags of groceries."

Upstairs has 3 bedrooms and the bathroom, which has a working shower with an electric attachment for hot water. Karina said that this house always has water - at all hours every day. What a treat! There is also a spot in the front that is like a small balcony where I could put a washing machine next to the piel. (The cement water storage thing that contains back up water.) There is also another water tank on the roof for the shower.

Downstairs is a living area and kitchen with another space outdoors where I could grow plants. The bedroom I would use overlooks the adjacent mountain. I will attach photos when my computer is fixed. But basically from my bedroom window I am standing on the side of one mountain, overlooking another. Both sides are packed full of houses stacked on top of each other up and down the mountains. I have a great view of the city as well. The view from the window was amazing. I stood there for a long time, imagining what my life would be like if this were really my home, and this window was really my bedroom window. Would I be happy? I think so.

Then Jairo and Jose came in Jairo's van and met us at the corner to take us up to dinner. We had a nice time together. Lourdes has a beautiful area of flowers that she is growing. Aaron was not home - he was at the youth camp. Josselyn was there, but engrossed in a cartoon movie. Dinner was yummy and my eclairs went over well, although they really didn't rise as much as they were supposed to and we couldn't find any frosting at the grocery store, so I grabbed Hershey's syrup instead. Seems like people here don't bake desserts much. I think that's why ingredients like cocoa powder, unsweetened baking chocolate, powdered sugar, etc., are hard to find in grocery stores.

After dinner we all gathered to pray for me as I was leaving in a few days. Lourdes said the prayer. As she prayed for me and my future I had the strangest experience. I could physically feel my body in the bedroom of Karla's father's house. I felt the white walls of the bedroom around me. I felt like I left Lourdes and Jairo's living room and was standing, looking out the window again - the window that would be my bedroom window if I moved to Honduras. It was a very peaceful, happy feeling. When Lourdes was done praying I cried and told them about the experience. It was so strange and hard to describe. Like God had put me there for a taste of what my life would be like. Nobody said much about it. They just told me that God has plans for me and I need to listen to Him.

The next day was Sunday. Jose and Karla really wanted me to visit Jairo's sister, Ruth's church. We actually got there early! I met Jairo's mother. It was her birthday. Jose explained to Ruth that I was leaving on Thursday to go back to the states. She asked if she could pray for me and I said of course, I would really appreciate that. She asked if she should pray in Spanish or English. I thought Spanish would be best. Jose agreed, saying that if she speaks slowly I have good comprehension of Spanish.

We started by singing and dancing. The church has quite a band with a clarinet, a saxophone, keyboard, and guitar. Tambourines were placed on seats throughout the church for the congregation to use, and they did. Then Ruth started to speak. She came down into my row, put her left hand over my heart and her right hand on my back and she began to pray for me. She said that God was telling her that I have a lot of pain and sadness in my heart, but He will give me peace if I allow him. She said God wants me to put my focus on him, not on humans and specifically not in men. She said that there are "pueblos" (villages) with people who I will help, and God will open the "calles" (streets). He will provide for me and I should not be worried about materialistic things or having my own needs met, because He will always provide. I will help many people not in a material way, but using my heart and my words She said many things that were very powerful, and right on target as if she knew me well. In the end she emphasized that I need to let go of the pain in my heart and give it to God. She tried to help me to do that right there, but I guess I am not ready to let go of it yet. So that is something I will pray for - peace in my heart.

Later I was talking to Jairo and he told me too that he sees me with so much hurt inside. I told him that I think I have carried that pain since I was a child. I have no idea why or where it came from and I never considered the possibility of getting rid of it because it's been a part of me for as long as I can remember. It was awesome having some long overdue personal time with him. He gave me lots of good ideas about things that I can work on within myself for self growth and happiness.

But back to Ruth's church. At times I didn't understand Ruth's words - they had lots of "sh" sounds in them that didn't sound like Spanish and she would say, "God is telling me..." Later I clarified with Karla that Ruth has the gift of speaking in tongue. Karla said asked if Ruth had spoken in tongue as she prayed for me. I said yes. Karla said that when someone speaks in tongue what they say will be true. I've never experienced that before, but it was not as strange as I would have imagined. Ruth is a really powerful lady. Later she called for people who needed prayer to stand before her. Then she specifically called Jose to come up. She prayed quietly with him first. He said he was scared when she called on him specifically, but she prayed for things that had been troubling him. Later Karla went and stood before Ruth. Karla said that Ruth also was able to see what troubles were on Karla's heart in her prayer for Karla.

8/28/09 - Looking back I wish I had more time to spend with Ruth. I have been praying and praying. Many others are praying as well, but I think now that I am consciously aware of how much I am hurting inside it's harder to live with. It was a little easier when it was just a subconscious, constant part of me. Now that I have the understanding that God wants me to have peace in my heart I am waiting every day, wondering if this will be the day that He will choose to take away my pain.

That night I went to the English service at another church. I like to go there and sing the songs in English. I went with Tony's friend, Carol. Afterward she introduced me to another gringo couple and we all went to dinner at a local fast food place. It was interesting to hear their story. They are doing lots of cool things, including farming the land and teaching art at some private schools.

Everyone keeps telling me over and over that the way to return to Honduras is as a sponsored missionary. I am not very open to that idea, although I am told it by many, many people. I guess for one - I never saw myself as a "missionary". I think I have a problem seeing myself fit into that name. Secondly, while I respect that others do it, I can not see myself asking others for money to live my life. I am more comfortable with the idea of getting a job from an employer. But I am told that most places do not pay North Americans, they only accept them as volunteers. I feel like I am being a little dense in this area, not accepting what I am being told repeatedly by people who know what they are talking about. I don't know why it is so hard for me to accept. The people also say that if God truly wants me to return to Honduras it will happen, so that is what I am counting on - that I will not let my own preconceived notions stand in the way.

My Sunday ended with another long heart to heart with Karla. We talked about a lot of things. I am constantly amazed by her strength and her wisdom. She has been through some horrific struggles and God has shaped her into such an incredible woman, wise beyond her years. I respect her so much and wish I had her strength. It is something to aspire to. I am so blessed that God put her in my life.

Today Karina and I figured we would go shopping for my wedding present to Kate and Jason, as well as for some souvenirs, and a gift for my college roommate who is getting married in September. I haven't been to "Al Centro" since I first came and had the girls' day out with Karla. After that all of the political problems began and it hasn't been safe to go downtown. We thought that since it was Monday, if we had any problems we could always leave and have two more shopping days before I leave on Thursday.

Well, I got to experience first hand a manifestacion. I felt like such an ignorant North American. Keep in mind that Karina has been through this several times now. So we were walking down a street of stores when she said, "There is going to be a manifestacion." (Only she said the whole thing in Spanish.) I said no, the streets are quiet. DUH!!!! The streets were silent and empty. That was when I realized she was right.

First we heard motorcycles approaching. They came up and blocked off all of the side streets - big loud Harleys. Then we heard all of the slamming as one store after another pulled closed its metal gates down to protect themselves from looting. And up ahead I finally spotted the march. I thought we might duck down a side street but I didn't want to. I felt excited. It was supporters of Mel, the ex-president, so there were a lot of poorer people from the country. But there were also guys with bandannas covering their faces. Some of them were painting graffiti. Two guys who had already marched past us ran back and pulled a security camera off a wall. One guy wrote "If you cover this today, I will come back and paint it again tomorrow." One person yelled something at me. Karina wouldn't tell me what he said, but at that point she started walking ahead of me and told me not to speak, just keep walking faster. I had been wanting to stop and watch what the people were writing. I had said that I wished I had my camera to catch all of this excitement. She said, "They will rob your camera. This is not exciting, this is serious to them."

Finally as we kept walking against the protesters the march ended. But all of the stores were still closed. We came up to one that didn't have it's gate down and knocked politely on the door so they would know we weren't looters. A kid answered eventually. I got some stuff there, but couldn't find exactly the right thing for Kate and Jason. We agreed we would return tomorrow when more stores would be open. But then as we were walking back to get a taxi there was one more store open where I found the perfect wedding present for Kate and Jason. They were beautiful hand made wooden tea/coffee cups. The cups were made of all different shapes and colors of wood, with a stand to hold them. I loved them. I tried to find something for Karina, but ended up getting her a card which I will leave behind with some kind words.

8-28-09 - I didn't know this at the time, but that was the last day that any of the stores in Al Centro opened at all for the remainder of my time there. The next morning I watched the news and they said the stores were all closed in anticipation of more manifestaciones. The man who painted the graffiti about returning the next day was speaking the truth. They had bigger protests each day until I left. I don't know how things have been since I left. I talk to Karla often, but we haven't spoken of politics. Good thing we got down there on Monday and had God looking over us that day!

Summer Camp, Protests

Yesterday I helped Karla with a welcoming program for 63 kids who went to a weekend retreat through the church. I had been hearing helicopters overhead all morning, but was too lazy to get out of bed and turn on the news.

When Karina got home from school she said I wouldn´t believe it. Right out at the bridge where I always meet my rides the street was full of people marching. Traffic was held back for miles and miles. Apparently people had been lining up since 3 am to march to the university. They blocked all traffic on The Anillo, which is the highway right by my house.

Getting a cab to go to the church was impossible. We called Muncho, but he said he couldn´t take us because once he got us to the church there was no way for him to get home. Then we tried to take a ¨collectivo¨, but there were a ton of people in line and no cabs - because although the cabs could leave from my colonia, no cabs could get through the protestors to pick us up. Karina said they would be charging a lot of money too. So we walked up to the bridge, thinking we could catch a cab already headed toward the church.

We were surprised to see that the highway was clear of protestors, as the live news had just shown the very spot where we stood full of people, only 10 minutes before. We waited and waited for a cab, but none came which was very strange. Usually when I meet my rides there I have cabs beeping at me constantly to see if I need a cab.

After waiting for a while, we realized we needed a new plan so we hopped on a bus - my first bus experience! It was pretty normal. A little yellow school bus with only a few people. Karina said the buses are packed during rush hour. We went to the nearest mall, thinking we could catch a ¨collectivo¨ from there, but no such luck. Since there were so few cabs on the street we couldn´t find anyone who wanted to drive us to the church. Finally we ended up paying more money for a private cab directly to the church. We were really late, but we made it!

The camp was about 45 mins outside of Teguc. It was really nice. We did our opening welcome program, which was a hit. Then we hung out and ate dinner. By the time we got home we were exhausted. I tried to watch a scarey movie with Karla and Jose, but ended up going to bed half way through.

Today I am making eclairs to take to dinner at Lourdes and Jairo´s house. We are also supposed to go to see Karla´s father´s house. The house I where I will live if I come back to Honduras.

I was just sitting here worrying because Karla and Jose were speaking to each other more loudly than usual. I didn´t know what they were talking about until Karina came into the room laughing. I asked what she was laughing about. She said Karla and Jose are disagreeing about who will marry Dana Sophia (age 1 & 1/2). Funny.

Oh, we also passed another protest on the way to the camp. It was small. They were carrying Honduran flags, chanting that their village wanted peace. We beeped our horns and waved. They cheered back at us. Once again, they were holding up traffic. And once again, it was in the opposite direction of the way we were traveling. That´s the closest I´ve gotten to any protests.

Karina´s school was invaded by police on Wednesday, which is a huge deal because her school is autonomous. Police are not allowed on campus. However, the police were mad because the day before one of the men who is running for president in November visited the campus. The students didn´t like him. They threw water on him and followed him out as he left the campus very quickly. Some of his body guards were fighting with students.

So the next day police were stationed outside of the school. Students taunted the police through the fence until the police barged into the university wearing riot gear. Karina was studying inside when people came rushing into the building after having been tear gassed. The police attacked numerous students who were agressive toward them, and some who weren´t. It looked pretty crazy on t.v. Karina said it was very, very ¨feo¨ (ugly). She was a little shaken up, but classes resumed as normal the next day. I don´t know if anything was done about the police setting foot on the autonomous campus.

Hanging Out at the Curch on a Saturday

Gonna miss Carlos' hugs!

Nidia - Tony's wife

Steffan is teaching me Spanish, while I teach him English.

2 Churches, 2 Bdays

This morning we got up early and got the girls all dressed for church. It was Valery's bday, so she would be recognized at church for her 6th birthday and we wanted her to look extra cute! I was also asked to come onto the stage at church. It was my last service at La Iglesia En Transformacion (at least for this visit). Next week Jose wants me to go to Jairo's sister's church so she can pray for me and whatever the future holds for me. So Jairos called me up to pray for me. It was a strange kind of full-circle kind of thing. When I visited a year ago, on my first day here we all went to a party for Helga, a local girl who was leaving for college in the states. This year I arrived in Honduras and was welcomed back at the same time that she came home from school. And now we are both leaving to go back to the states at the same time. So I got to hold on to Helga as Jairo prayed for us and thanked me for the work I have done here.

It was sad. I looked at Gladys and got teary eyed.

Then we rushed home (for the first time EVER!!! - usually leaving church takes at least an hour) and finished preparing for the bday party. Tony picked me up at 3pm for coffee and a little pep talk. He has been so supportive during this time when I have felt sad or frustrated. We drank our coffee and talked about cultural differences and all of the plans he has for the future and what my future might hold. Then we went to CCI, which is a huge church near my house that has a service on Sundays in English and they sing all of the songs I know from K2.

We sang "I am a Friend of God" and I told Tony - this would be a great song for the kids in the English class to learn. So as a surprise, I taught it to them at the breakfast program while he was off taking kids to the dentist. When he returned they were humming and singing it in English. I have a vision of a huge circle of 50 kids singing "I am a friend of God, He calls me friend" in English. They understood the translation and we talked about how great it is to have a friend in God. Most of the kids love to pick up tidbits of English and use it whenever they can, so I think as we practice more this will be a big hit. But that was today - back to Sunday.

Sunday when I got back from church the house was full of adults. The kids were playing outside. Everyone was eatting and talking. The neighbor lady was trying to sit near Tony whenever she could so I was running interception for him, poor guy. Everyone loved my homemade cake, so that felt great.

The party ended with everyone dancing and I mean everyone! Valery was really funny imitating the adults. Dana Sophia got jealous everytime anyone danced with her Daddy. Jairo busted some moves. And it turns out Bismar is a mini-Michael Jackson! Guillermo Mario was the DJ - it was his wedding that the ladies from our last trip witnesses at our retreat center. He played 'Billie Jean Is Not My Lover' and Bismar broke out some Michael Jackson moves that had the whole party begging for more.

Karla and Karina were still dancing as the last people left the party. They never stopped.

I spent some time talking to Lourdes. She and Jairo invited me for dinner Saturday night to say good bye and to talk about me returning to Honduras. I think somehow, that was when my spirits lifted.

Birthdays Galore

I am feeling much better mentally yesterday and today. Although I did spend yesterday sleeping. I'm fighting off a cold. Got all ready to leave the house and called my taxi driver on the way out the door, as usual, but he said he wasn't driving yesterday. That was a first, but it ended up being best for me since I went back to bed and slept the entire day. Clearly my body was trying to tell me something. And I didn't infect 50 kids at the breakfast program with my germs. As we all know, sometimes God works in strange ways.

Saturday we finally found cocoa powder for my favorite chocolate cake. It was at the grocery store where we all went after the baptisms last year and bought food to bring home with us. Turns out that's the store that's known as the most Americanized, and expensive. But I got the cocoa and made 2 bday cakes that night. I stayed up until 1 am, Karla and Karina until 3 am, cooking and decorating. It was fun. Got some great pics of Valery licking the spatula for her bday cake.

Saturday was also Bismar's bday. We celebrated it at the youth group at church Saturday afternoon. Friday Karina and I toured the city looking for bibles for Jose and Karla. Finally we found bibles, cards, a leather zippered cover for Jose's bible, as well as a card and a bracelet for Bismar. Bismar is such an incredible young man - it was his 13th bday! Tony invited us to a party at his house for Bismar. I was disappointed that we couldn't go, but was glad that we chose not to when we were still working on things for Jose ad Valery's party until late into the night.