My first hole

Marlin called me twice before I left home this morning.  She has one way of doing things and does not like to vary from that.  Today she planned to cook her special rice and vegetable dish, but there were no vegetables.  That really threw her off.  I told her that Walter said he was going to bring the vegetables and he knew she was going to cook with them today.  Walter is very dependable, so I expected the veggies to be there.  We discussed other options and agreed since she had already cleaned the rice she could make a different rice dish.  Marlin thought it was imperative that we serve tortillas with the second option.  Finally I convinced her that it was not, but to just hold on until we could talk to Walter.  Turned out that he was only moments away with the vegetables.  Catastrophe averted.

My head started aching last night.  I thought of calling Belinda and asking her to cover for me for me today, but then decided against that.  Yesterday I promised the kids special prizes because they were able to recite bible verses.  I also told the adults I would make liquados for them today.  I wanted to be there.

The kids were proud when they got their prizes.  All of them want to memorize more scripture so they can win prizes.  I am giving them simple things, like bars of soap or bite sized candy bars, but they love it!

I made the liquados.  Everyone agreed that if I need a second job I can sell liquados.  The headache got worse.  Marlin agreed to stay and clean up the kitchen so Eunice encouraged me to go home and rest.  After I got home it started raining really hard and my headache seemed unbearable.  I tried napping but couldn't.  It eased to the bearable range as evening came.

The rainy season is certainly here.  It rains every afternoon, then clears and rains again at night.  Lately I have been running the dehumidifier every day.  The humidity in my house has been at 86% but I can bring it down into the high 40's with the dehumidifier.  I am hoping to avoid mold growth, but know that my electric bill is going to be enormous.

I am no longer the only person I know who does not have a hole in my roof.  Two nights ago as I was lying in bed reading my bible I noticed the page was getting tiny splashes on it.  After checking that the windows were closed I came to the sad conclusion that it was coming from above.  Sure enough, there was a spot above my bed that was drip, drip, dripping.  I shoved my bed to the side and put a garbage can under the leak.  Yesterday morning I told my landlord about the hole.  He said he will fix it this weekend.  It is the first, but it won't be the last, I'm sure.

I am excited to spend the night with Karla and Jose tomorrow.  I hope this headache goes away so I can fully enjoy my time with them!

Yellow eyes

Today did not go as expected.  The lawyer we are working with is not the best communicator.  He told me to come to his office with 400 Lempiras ($15) because he had my residency card there.  We got there and he had no residency card.  Then he wanted $350 for his final payment.  He took us to the Dept of Immigration where he talked to a couple people so we got to cut the line, which was short, and I got my passport back.  I filled out the paperwork for my residency.  They charged me another chunk of money which was not 400 Lempiras, and told me I will get my residency card in a month.  He also didn't tell me to bring a copy of my passport, so poor Walter had to run all over looking for a photocopy machine to make a copy of my passport.  I have copies in the church, at my house, and at the lawyer's office that we could have brought.

He kept telling Walter to tell me to calm down.  He said I was too nervous.  I told him I am not nervous, I am excited!  Then he kept talking to Walter instead of to me.  Walter told the lawyer that he is only riding with me, he has no idea what is going on.  Even when I gave the guy $350 he said thank you to Walter.  He never acted this way when I visited him with Jairo.  If you ever want a recommendation for who NOT to get as a lawyer in Honduras, call me.

The lady at the Department of Immigration was really sweet.  I was glad I have a year of living here under my belt because I had to fill out a lot of paperwork and she had to ask me a bunch of questions.  I would have struggled a year ago, but today went smooth until we got to the information about me.  She asked my height.  I said, "Uh oh, I only know in feet."
She said that's fine - she had a conversion chart.  Then she said, "And your eyes are...  yellow???"
I said, "Well sometimes they are green, depending on what I wear, but you should put brown."  She seemed very confused.  It takes little things like that, or this photo, to remind me that I am not the same as everyone else in Honduras.  It is a new, strange experience to be a minority.

In the states people think I have dark skin.
But I look pretty white in Honduras.

The computers were really slow so the lady and I talked while she did my finger prints and inputted some stuff.  She asked if I like it here and I told her I really do.  She asked what I am doing and I explained the Breakfast Program.  She said she was sad to say this, but she is glad that missionaries are here because she has seen too many local people sell food that is supposed to be used for kids.  She loved hearing about the Breakfast Program and said that she wanted me to tell my story to her boss because he could speed up the process of getting my residency card.  I said sure!  He didn't seem as impressed as she was, but he stamped my paper and told me to come back in 12 days, my card will be ready.

Last night Karla invited me to come to her house Saturday night and spend the night.  Adults spending the night at other people's homes is more common here.  I was excited and told her we could celebrate my residency, since I expected it to be official today.  I am still excited to spend time with Karla and Jose.  It is important that I reach out and broaden my support system since Jairo and Lourdes plan to move to the US.

On Sunday I told Ethel, the leader of the church elders, that I thought Jairo had probably already told her, but I wanted her to hear from my mouth that I am staying in Honduras.  She asked how long I plan to say.  I told her I can't really say.  She asked if it would be indefinitely.  I said yes, indefinitely.  She said until God tells me I should be somewhere else.  I think she was pleased.

It is pouring outside.  Better go make dinner before the power goes out.  Monday night it went out about 9 pm and was still out when I went to the church the next morning.  Men were everywhere working on the lines as I drove down into the city.  Seemed like every third pole had downed lines.  Welcome to the rainy season in Honduras!

Bazillipedes

I just saw the most enormous millipede I have ever seen in my life.  It was under my kitchen table. I went downstairs with an appetite and after trying to kill that thing I was no longer hungry.  The darn thing would not die.  It would be smushed into a pile from my shoe, but each time, no matter how much I mashed, it would unravel itself and scurry along.  Those things are fast too!  It was longer than the length of my hand from palm to the end of my middle finger.  To be honest I am still not sure it's dead.  It is wadded up in a napkin in my garbage can, but I do not doubt that it could still unravel itself and crawl out.  Should have flushed it.

A few days ago I found two different baby scorpions under my night lamp.  At least that is what they looked like to me.  They are pretty unmistakable.  I worry about Jetty.  She likes to chase bugs.  Hope she doesn't chase the wrong one.  The rainy season has only just begun and it seems to be bringing crazy bugs out of the woodwork (or cementwork as the case may be).  Yikes!

Note to self:  Wear footwear at all times.  You never know what you may step on.

Turn grumbling into gratitude

This is what I saw as I closed the porton and left my driveway this morning.  I love seeing all of the people on horseback.  Not sure what was in the big red bags but the man was very nice.  We smiled and said good morning.

Things were a little hectic at the Breakfast Program today.  We ran out of cooking gas right as it was time for  us too serve the food.  Don Juan and I ran down to the gas station, then to the next gas station, then to the grocery store.  Everyone said the city was out of gas tanks.  Don Juan called a lady he knows who owns a restaurant and cooks with a gas stove.  He asked her how she was getting her gas.  She said told us about a guy who delivers gas on a motorcycle.  We called him and ordered a tank of gas.  We were thinking he might beat us to the church because he could get around faster on his "moto".  He showed up later in the afternoon.  By then the kids were fed and gone.

Every day for months Christian (Conejo) has asked for prayer for his Aunt.  This morning at 6 a.m. she died.  He told us very factually and seemed to go about his day as normal.  I'll check in with him tomorrow.

I got to Skype with a friend in Salt Lake.  She and I are close friends but we are not good at keeping in touch by computer.  It is so cool to talk to someone only occasionally and still feel as connected as if you spoke every day.  That is true friendship.

Had a bunch of errands to run today.  Gas, groceries, meds for someone at the church.  On the way home I was calculating all that I spent and feeling a little overwhelmed.  Then I realized what a blessing it is that I am able to do all of those things.  I know many people here who can't afford a weekly shopping trip, who don't have a car and probably never will, who don't have a refridgerator, or even a cooking stove.  After thinking of it that way, I felt very blessed to have a full tank of gas, a strong car with groceries in the back, and a refrigerator to keep things fresh.  It was kind of like turning a frown upside down.  What had felt like a burden was really a blessing.  I just hadn't looked at it that way.

As I headed up the mountain I passed Jairo and Walter in the van on their way down.  That seems like a very small thing.  But it was a really big moment for me.  They recognized my car and waved.  I beeped the right beep.  (Honduras has it's own beeping vocabulary.)  Everything felt so right.  Finally, the day has come that I am able to function on my own.  I do not depend on them for everything like I used to.  I thought about all that Lourdes, Jairo and my church family have done for me over the past year.  I can never repay them.  It is not possible.  They took care of me and looked out for my every need.  Finally it is time for me to do things on my own.  It felt great to pass Jairo and Walter and see them wave.  I feel like part of the team.  Now I can serve without burdening anyone.  They have never once given me the sense that I am a burden, but it sure is nice to be independent.

Jetty resting on a rainy day

It's official.  The rainy season is here.  During the rainy season my electric bill is going to be crazy.  I've been waiting for a sunny day to do laundry, but finally broke down and used the dryer for clean sheets and jeans today.  I am also using a de-humidifier.  It sucks the moisture out of the air like crazy.  According to it, this morning the humidity in my house was at 83%.  From what I have read, if I want to avoid mold growth in the house I have to keep the humidity below 50%.  I am worried about my electric bill, but grateful that I have a clothes dryer and a de-humidifier.  At the moment the power is out.  Maybe I should be grateful for that too - keeps the electric bill down.

Bus blockade

Today I got caught in the middle of a...  Well, I don't know what you would call it.  Not a pep rally, it was more of a protest.  The goal was to encourage people to vote for a certain presidential candidate.  Hundreds and hundreds of buses were stopped in the street with posters plastered on them.  The buses were full of people who did not look very thrilled to be there.  I don't think they were really in on the campaign effort, but a few flew flags out the windows while they completely stopped all of the traffic in the city for the entire day.

Now for me, being held up in traffic and late for church does not encourage me to vote for the face on the poster on the bus in front of me.  I don't understand the mentality behind this form of "grandstanding".  It did not endear me to the candidate, but did cause me some frustration.  Until I realized that since I was not moving this was a perfect opportunity for me to take pictures of the spiked buses!

Check out these spikes.  Imagine this bus coming toward you on a narrow road.

Banners drooping more than flying

After I made it past everything on my side
I saw they had blocked the other direction too

On the sidewalks were teens walking around with a wooden dowel in each hand.  I never saw any violence, but I did contemplate going back home.  The strange thing was, the police had the exits blocked and forced us to go up the highway to the point where it was blocked in the other direction, so if you turned around you would get caught again on that side.  Made me wonder if the police were participating.  They were also pulling over taxi cabs and detaining them at check points.  People couldn't travel by bus (because the buses weren't moving) and it was hard to find a taxi.  Hmmmm...

Jairo is still supposed to be at home recuperating so Walter spoke at church today.  He was really great.  Everyone really likes it when he preaches.  He certainly has a gift.  What was especially cool for me is that I have been thinking a lot about two things this week and he addressed each of them.  I was actually thinking of setting up a time to meet with my landlord to talk to her about those things, but all I had to do was go to church.  I found my answers there.

After church I went out to lunch with my friend Raquel and her husband.  She was my first friend outside of the Breakfast Program.  She invited me to go to lunch with her last year in November for my birthday.  We hit it off right away.  She was unemployed and struggling to get pregnant.  I was struggling to make friends.  Now she is 4 months pregnant, has a great job, and I have some great friends!  God is so good to us!!

The day of the dying ants

Ugh.  I may not sleep tonight.  This is the day of the dying flying ants.  A year ago, almost to the day, I came home to find my house covered in ant wings.  Last year I was lucky enough not to see how they got there.  It is a disgusting process.  The flying ants fly around until their wings will no longer hold them up.  Then they crash and flop around until their wings fall off.  Then they slither away - half ant and half what we used to call "silver fish" when I was a kid.  It is repulsive.  I have found them inside my undergarments, all over my pillows and covering the floor.  I can hear them bang against walls and fall to the ground, buzzing around.  Bet you wish you could experience this natural phenomenon for yourself, don't you?

Today was a super good day though.  I have lots of photos to share with you.  Yesterday was great as well, and tomorrow is promising to follow in the footsteps of its predecessors.

Yesterday I went to a special presentation for people who work with kids.  It was given by an international organization called the Good Samaritans.  They have volunteers in Honduras who do a lot of things, including offer gifts to really, really poor kids through their local church at Christmas.  The idea is that the whole thing is about much more than getting a gift.  It is a time for the kids to learn about God and share the blessing with their family.  It is a very cool concept even if I don't explain it very well.  We can even do community outreach if we want to.  The point is that the gifts go to the poorest of the poor.  That is certainly the community we serve.  (Gosh was that ever apparent today, but I will talk about that later.)

Going to meetings like this with Jairo and his sister Ruth is great.  As the presenter stood up to start the program he made a point to welcome Ruth and Jairo individually.  They are like celebrities.  Everyone knows them.  After the meeting Jairo introduced me to a lot of people.

Jairo had just gotten his stitches out from the gall bladder surgery 2 weeks ago.  One of the men came up and socked him right in the belly where his stitches had been as he said hello.  I cringed.  Jairo is still doing well.  He is moving about slowly.  Getting in and out of the van is not easy.  But the area where the stitches were healed very well, especially considering that he has diabetes.  It's not even very red.

Today the kids from Pinares (a local private school that is one of the best in the country and very expensive) came to visit the Breakfast Program.  The kids were all really great.  They seemed to mesh well together.  Our kids came early, nicely groomed and dressed in their best.  Angelica wore a dress over the top of her soccer jersey.  Each Los Pinos kid was assigned a Pinares partner early in the morning.  Almost all of them chose to stay with their partners all day.  I thought that was so awesome!

While the kids all blended together, the differences were obvious from an adult point of view.  The kids from Pinares are much bigger than kids the same age from the Breakfast Program.  In fact they are bigger than older kids from the Breakfast Program.  I never noticed how small our kids are until they were stacked up against 3rd graders today.  Chronic malnutrition.  The boys from Los Pinos have very short hair cuts.  The boys from Pinares have bowl cuts.  Lourdes says Los Pinos kids have shorter hair because of the lice epidemic they face.

One of the girls from Pinares started to ask me in Spanish, then I think she didn't want the local kids to understand what she was saying, so she switched to English.  She said, "It's not very safe here."  Before I could answer, she asked, "Is it safe here?"  I wasn't sure how to answer.  I asked if she felt unsafe.  She looked around and said no, she did not feel unsafe.  But, she said, the outside gates aren't locked and there are no guards at the gates.  (I don't know how she noticed that but clearly it seemed strange and unsafe to her.)  I told her we do have a guard.  That is, after all, Don Juan's official job.  Although at that moment he was making cement to hold up a fence post.  She didn't need to know that.  Don Juan was at the front gate.  I told her that no bad people ever try to come in.  She asked if this was a school.  I said no, it's a church.  She said this is a very strange church.  She said so none of these kids go to school?  I told her all of them who are school age go to school, but they go in the afternoon.  I wonder if one of the body guards standing nearby was hers.

Last time the kids from Pinares visited I was amazed at how many men came to accompany the children.  I thought they were all fathers of the kids.  This time I learned from the teachers that the men who stand along the sidelines (with walkie talkies and FANCY cars) are not fathers to these kids.  They are body guards.  Famous people in the US have body guards to keep away the paparazzi.  In Honduras whole families have their own individual body guards to prevent kidnappings and other bad things.  As bizarre as it seemed to me, these kids couldn't imagine it any other way.

A fun time was had by all.  The bus left, followed by a caravan of Land Cruisers (apparently the chosen car of body guards) and all of the kids from Los Pinos headed off to their school.

This afternoon Jairo came to the church.  Jairo is supposed to be taking it easy still, but he has been going stir crazy since his second day in the house.  He has been doing so well on his new healthier eating habits we have to cut him some slack.  After all of the kids left we went through the donations they brought for the Los Pinos kids.  We separated it all out and labeled bags full of clothes for the kids.  They will be excited on Monday!

Two days ago when it started to rain I thought it could be the start of the rainy season.  I think I was right.  Today we have had rain twice already.

Tomorrow I have to be in front of Lourdes and Jairo's house at 7 a.m.  Six of us are going to a conference down in the city for people who work with youth.  Jairo keeps saying it is going to be really great and that I will like it a lot.  I am interested to see what it will be like.  Not so thrilled, however, with the idea of having to get up so early.  I have never been a morning person.

Lourdes and the kids welcome 3rd graders from Pinares

Kristofer praying 

Junior finds a person to hang on in every group

Pinares serving Los Pinos

So helpful and sweet!

This girl from Pinares never left Lupe's side

Saying good bye to the kids from Pinares

The bus followed by the procession of Land Cruisers

Walter, Don Juan and Jairo

Simon says DANCE!

Getting this out quick because I think it is going to rain and when it rains the power often goes out.  We are overdue for the rainy season to start.  Thank God the fires have lessened.  Maybe almost everything has already burned.  Sure seems that way.

This morning I delivered the pastries to my friends who helped me with the car.  Since the stove wouldn't go up to 400 degrees I hope they still taste good.  They looked flatter than normal, but otherwise okay.

We were back to only about 40 kids at the Breakfast Program this morning.  I must admit I was disappointed.  The church felt empty compared to yesterday.  There was no power, but we used the gas stove to make pupusas.  We had to ration water because without power we can't use the water filter.

Lourdes has trained the kids to greet us as the enter and leave the church.  This morning Milagro walked up to me and put this on the table in front of me.  She said it was for me and she got it from her house.  It was a flower - just the flower, no stem.  So cute!

I asked Milagro to pose with the flower

Cessia came today.  I haven't seen her in weeks, maybe months.  Her older sister brought their little brother too.  He doesn't like to be out of his sisters arms, which made it hard for her to play Simon Says.  But she didn't get discouraged.

Cessia is back!
Wearing a Speedo bathing suit under her overall shorts.

Memo playing Simon Says
"Simon says close your eyes and stick out your tongue."

When Simon said dance, Even DANCED!

It was a great day overall.  Pupusas are everyone's favorite.  Since it was Jacky's birthday we all sat down together and ate.  In the afternoon we had a cake and sang "Feliz Feliz Cumpleaños" for her too.  She got teary eyed.

It felt like an extra blessing this month to take a picture of Marlin's belly, after not hearing the heartbeat on Monday.  By the time we are done with this process of monthly pictures she might let me post one.  For now I don't have permission.  She is big enough that we are all starting to guess if it is a boy or a girl.  In the past two weeks she went from having a pregnancy bump to a real pregnant belly.  I am guessing it's a boy because if you look at her from the back you can't tell she is pregnant.  But it is not as high as most boys, so I am a little perplexed.  Usually I have more confidence in my opinion, but this time I don't.  Belinda says boy.  Don Juan says girl and that she is going to deliver early.  We'll see!

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Bring it on!!

Was so excited to bake today.  Tomorrow is Jacky's birthday.  She is a Mom from Los Pinos who has been helping a lot since Marlin got pregnant.  For a week she has been making it known to everyone that Wednesday is her birthday.  I can't start buying gifts for everyone, and gifts are not as common for birthdays or even Christmas as they are in the US.  So I figured that baking something for her would be a treat.  Plus I still am trying to bake for the family that helped me buy my car.  My stove is fixed, but it is not working well.  For the chocolate eclairs I need to cook them at 400 degrees for a half hour.  My stove has decided it only likes to go to 350 degrees and cook on one side.  Eclairs a a little delicate.  I rotated the pan once and covered the side of the oven with a towel to insulate the heat.  We'll see how these turn out.

Marlin was in a great mood this morning.  I gave her a huge hug as soon as I saw her.  I was so grateful to be hugging her out of happiness instead of sadness.

She explained to me what happened at the hospital yesterday in more detail today.  She was waiting in a long line of people to see the doctor.  Every other pregnant lady came and went - even those after her.  But the doctor spent a half and hour and could not find her baby's heartbeat.  She said she was pretty calm because she could feel God's presence with her.  Finally the second doctor came and found the heartbeat right away.  He said Mommy and baby are both healthy.  She was tired after a 14 hour day, but happy.

Tomorrow is the day we will take her monthly picture.  Yesterday I thought how horrible it would be if we couldn't take the picture of her belly on the 22nd day of this month.  Today, for the first time, Marlin seems to be looking forward to her monthly picture.  I am sure she will still ask me not to share the photo as it is not part of this culture to do so.

For me, the best part of the day was to pull into a church FULL of kids.  The soccer "field" was full and the church above was full.  We have had about 25 kids every morning and about 15 every afternoon.  Today we had 63 just in the morning!!!!  Marlin and Jacky cooked.  I was alone with the kids.  We had a great time.  I figured with this number, and since some were new, we would do an activity rather than reading from the children's bible.  The kids love to learn English.  So first we sang "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" in Spanish.  Then, after we had done it as fast as we could and added a jump at the end, we sang it in English.  It was a hit.  Even the older kids liked it.  Then 63 kids, ages 2-15, closed their eyes and prayed.  They were respectful and on task the whole time.  Finally, they ate.  Dishes were washed, teeth were brushed, -everyone had fun and everything went smoothly.

I have been wanting to wash my car for over a week.  It gets filthy in just one day from driving on the dirt road to my house, so I don't expect to keep it clean.  But it was embarrassing to drive that car to church last weekend because it was so dirty!  So after everyone left I asked Don Juan if there was enough water for me to wash my car.  He said sure.  He washed one side and the inside, all while I was working on the other side.  It felt great to have a shiny, clean car if only for a little while.  When I got into my driveway tonight and pulled in to shut the gate I grabbed a towel and tried to wipe off some of the dirt from the road.  That was an idea from my landlord's son.  It helped a tiny bit.

I called Lourdes when I got home to tell her about the 70 kids that came to the Breakfast Program today.  She was excited too.  I told her now I want to pray that they keep coming!  I loved those days when we had 100 kids every day.  Today they are walking with Moms, Dads, and in big groups for safety.  Almost 10 of the kids are new.  I am working hard to make them feel welcome and telling them I hope they will come back.  I can't wait until the day that I can write about feeding 100 kids again.  Lourdes and I discussed it and decided that as long as we have any kids coming, we will never close the doors of the Breakfast Program.  Even if we feed only a few (spiritually and physically), those few are important.  I have been wondering for a while if this was God's way to prepare me and help me build a little confidence with a smaller group before He sent the huge groups.  But I am ready for them now!  Bring it on!!

Weekend wrap-up

It was a great weekend.  On Friday night I kind of went out for the first time.  It was the closest I have come to going out on my own.  Actually, I went to Belinda's house and watched tv with her and her boys.  We got Chinese food and pigged out.  It was the best Chinese I have had so far in Honduras.  And I have had more Chinese food here than in my whole life put together.  (Honduran people eat a TON of Chinese food!)  Eating Chinese food and watching tv may not seem exciting to most people, but it was really fun.

Belinda told stories of how each of her boys was born.  She said that Andres was tiny and underweight because he hadn't gotten any nutrition for the last month of her pregnancy due to medical problems with caused her to deliver early.  Andres said, (in Spanish) "Of course Mom!.  THAT is why I am always hungry!"  Tiny little Andres is always hungry.  The logic of an 8 year old is awesome.  Didn't get enough food in the womb - still making up for it now.  That boy is something else.

Saturday I helped the jovenes group.  This month they have been focused on the environment.  Saturday was movie day at the church so we showed a movie about the environment.  It was a documentary about cats in Africa.  I forgot to eat all day, so I was starving afterward.  I started to get grumpy because I wanted to go home and eat but the kids kept hanging out.  Then I thought about the fact that many of them were probably hungry too.  But they don't have food at home.  I had justified my grumpiness because I was hungry, but I only had to be hungry for a few hours.  The kids are hungry hour after hour, day after day.  After thinking about that I adjusted my attitude.  As I drove home I realized that the US has Sunday drivers, Honduras has Saturday drivers.  Wow.  Do people drive slowly on Saturdays here.

Lourdes asked me to pick up a few things for her family at the store.  They have been eating really, really healthy food since Jairo's operation on Monday.  I am surprised and happy for them.  Jairo is committed to eating well and Lourdes is committed to cooking well.

Sunday I got to take my landlord's family to church!  After months of them taking me to church each week, I finally got to take them.  Carlos also fixed my stove.  I spent 2 days shopping for a new one, but Carlos called and said that he fixed my little one.  I was so happy!  Part of me was disappointed that I won't have a stove that I can control the temperature on the burners and fit more than 6 cookies in the oven, but I don't have money for a real stove.

As I looked at my budget on Saturday I realized I have a problem.  Gasoline is costing about $400 per month but I don't have an extra $400 in income.  I love having a car.  I love being able to do things for the people who have been doing things for me over the past year.  But I will have to find some new sponsors quickly.  Hopefully when I go back to the US in June I'll be able to dig up some more sponsors.

Marlin wasn't at the Breakfast Program today because she had a regular doctor appointment for her pregnancy.  She is due in less than 5 months.  So far she has been feeling pretty good.  I called to ask if she remembered that we would need her early tomorrow because we are making pupusas.  She said that she was still at the hospital, waiting to see a specialist because the first doctor had been unable to hear the baby's heartbeat.  She said after she saw the second doctor she would have to go to the emergency room.  It sounded like maybe she had lost the baby.  We prayed.  Four hours later I called her back.  Her voice sounded very different.  She was really happy.  The second doctor discovered that the instrument to hear the baby's heartbeat was broken!  The baby's heart was actually beating loud and strong.  I was so grateful that everything turned out fine.  Marlin is a good friend.

We had another exciting event today.  A girl from the Denver team who visited a few months ago has been saying she would like to come back to Honduras to serve at the Breakfast Program during her summer vacation.  Her mother and I worked on the logistics.  Everything came together today and she got a plane ticket!  The whole experience takes me back to when I came to visit for the second time in 2009.  It feels very similar.  I am so excited for her!  I wonder what God has in store for Grace and her time in Honduras.  Can't wait to see.

Beware of spiked buses when driving in Honduras

On Sunday I told a friend that I wanted to make a special pastry to say thank you to her and her husband.  They have been really helpful in buying my car.  I asked if they like pudding or ice cream better and if he has a freezer at work, so I could drop the pastries off there.  It is now Thursday and I have been struggling all week to get those pastries made!  On Sunday night I realized I didn't have the recipe, which is strange because it was on my computer but disappeared.  Monday I spent the evening with friends.  Tuesday the power went out in the middle of making the pastries.  I took them to my landlords house to finish cooking them, but by that point instead of puffing up they shrunk so I gave them to my landlords' son.  Last night the stove turned on for a minute, then never turned on again.  The outlet works fine for other electronics, but the stove is dead.

For dinner I heated up homemade refried beans in the microwave.  They were hot, hot, hot, but let's suffice it to say that heating them forever in the microwave does not kill whatever needs to be killed when you bring them to a boil on top of the stove.  I thought I'd be okay because they were frozen until I microwaved them.  I was NOT okay.  I could have won a burping contest.  I didn't know my body could hold that much gas.  It was a new and horrible experience.  Disgusting, but not painful.  It literally gave me nightmares.

I am starting to understand on a small scale how Walter and Jairo must feel.  This week I have been a taxista  to a few different people.  I am not saying this as a complaint.  I just have never been responsible for other people's transportation before.  It has been nice to give Marcela's Aunt a ride.  She never asks me to go a single block out of my way - although I would.  She has been so caring for the past 6 months that it feels great to be able to give back to her in this manner.  Plus it's nice to have someone to open and close the porton (huge metal gate) so I don't have to get out of the car and do it myself.  I always worry that the emergency brake is going to slip or that somehow someone will figure out a way to steal the car while I'm locking/unlocking the gate.

Yesterday I visited Lourdes for a few hours.  It was really nice to sit and chat with nobody else around and no place to go.  I told her I was going to bring Tapioca pudding for Jairo (his favorite!), but then my stove died, so I had to cook it at their house.  Jairo was resting, but she said he is getting better every day.  I told her all of the kids are doing really well at the Breakfast Program.  A few more have been coming this week.  We are getting near 50 kids every day instead of mid 30's.  They are having fun and being good.  She said she feels really blessed because she has complete peace about leaving them with me.  We talked about how the Breakfast Program will always be her baby, even if I am the one who is there.

I told Lourdes I did see one of the girls trying to test my limits.  Lourdes gave me advise as to how I should handle it - be firm, but don't crack down on her yet unless she tries something else.  Today she was good, so we had a perfect day.  The older kids have now learned 4 new verses by heart.  Even the 4 year olds know 1 or 2 of the four verses.  I am proud of them.  One boy (Chirstian (Conejo)) learns so quickly!  He only needs to hear things once or twice and he retains them.  Samir and Bryon work really hard at the memorization too.  We have fun with it so it's not a chore for them.  The girls are not as strong in their memorization.  They are insecure about it.  Maybe because the boys are amazingly quick.  Or maybe because many of them prefer to whisper and giggle.

I am still feeling out my freedom.  Since I have a broken stove, I dropped it off to see if it can be fixed by my landlord who is an electrical engineer.  (Thank God, or I would still be without power since Tuesday.  The transformer box out on the street melted, but nobody can come fix it until Sunday.  He hooked up my power somehow until they come to fix it.)  I spent this afternoon running around the city going to stores to check prices on stoves.  Walmart doesn't have a gas stove.  Since I think this one was ruined from a power surge (Eunice said the news has been warning about power surges) I'd rather get a gas stove and not have to worry about power surges.  Plus I can still cook when the power goes out, which it does often, especially in the rainy season.  Everyone agrees gas is best.  So I shopped around.  Missed an exit once and had to figure out how to get back to where I was going, but it ended up fine.  I was in a good part of town.  I did go to a store which is located a few blocks into a bad part of town.  Eunice was against it, but I knew exactly where I was going because I had been there before and Walter said it was fine, so I went.  I was a little pensive, but the worst part was crossing the road in heavy traffic.  Otherwise it was very uneventful.  I did notice a LOT of military trucks today.  Many, many more than usual.  I miss my conversations with Jairo about those things.  He would have been very interested to see all of those military trucks moving about.

I learned that a decent stove here costs about $500.  I could get a used stove made in Mexico or Costa Rica for $250, but the brackets that support the pots over the flame are so flimsy they would collapse if I tried to boil a pot of water on top of them.  I'm thinking if something that obvious is poorly made, the stove is probably not a good investment overall.  Normally I am not one to care about brand names, but I think I'll stick to something I've heard of when buying a stove in Honduras.

I've been meaning to write about the scariest part of driving here.  I no longer worry about the steep corner where I have to come to a complete stop with stick shift.  That is old news.  I purposely let my car roll back a few times if someone is behind me at that corner so they give me some space, then look carefully for the blind spot and watch out for the huge hole that follows the turn.  That corner is not such a big deal anymore.  It is the buses that really freak me out!  They have spikes instead of hub caps so if they come too close to you they rip the side of your car apart!  It's like in cartoons or action movies.  I have never seen anything like this before in real life.  To think I have been riding around here for a year and never noticed those insane spikes sticking out of the bus wheels seems implausible.  Now that I am driving and I have to avoid them it feels like those spikes are everywhere, waiting to tear into the side of my car.  It gives me a heart attack when they pass me on the mountain roads.  The streets are so narrow I just hold my breath and drive as close to the ditch as I dare.  I don't know if I will ever get used to the spikes.  I will have someone take a picture so you can see these spikes.  But I wanted to write about it before I forgot again.  Beware of buses when driving in Honduras!

Jairo got through surgery fine

Jairo had his gall bladder out today.  Lourdes called while I was praying with the kids.  Normally I never have my phone with me, but today it was in my pocket so they all got to say hello to her.  They memorized scripture and had a good group.  Lourdes told us that Jairo made it through the surgery fine.

The girls had a lot of English homework.  We stayed a little later than normal at the church because they needed help.  My new English student came to me with a sad face this afternoon saying he can't come to class anymore because he got a job.  I was very happy for him, but he was really disappointed that he won't be able to continue English classes.  Getting a job is a really big deal when the unemployment rate is 48%.

I had a bunch of errands to run this afternoon.  It is still a huge relief that I don't have to rely on others when I need to get something done.  I even got to help out my landlord.  Her car wouldn't start tonight and she was almost late for a concert.  She called and asked if I could run them over to the school.  I was happy to help them out.  They do so much for me, it was nice to be able to do something for them.

Lourdes will be at home caring for Jairo at least for this week.  Belinda had to go to her son's school for a Mother's Day celebration today.  She came to the church looking beautiful after the party at the school.  We had a nice conversation.  Then she received a phone call that her other son was sick so she had to leave again.  Everything went very well.  It was just Marlin, Jacky and me.  We had no problems at all.

I stopped and made copies of my keys.  There are lots of makeshift places that sell key in Honduras.  People just bring a machine and the rack of blank keys and set up wherever they want.  This guy was on a bench on the side of the road.  Don Juan recommended him.  It was funny, there I was on the side of the road at the key place and I saw two people I know!  A lot of people were waiting in line for keys (strange, I know).  None of them had people walk up and start talking to them, but I did!

One of my friends invited me to hang out one of these Saturdays now that I have a car and can come into the city.  She said she and another friend from church have been planning to have a get together with me soon.  I told her I would love to hang out with them!

Mothers Day in Honduras

Last night my landlords' family and I were invited to Carlos' brother's house for dinner.  Carlos and his brother bought this property together, then divided it when they got married and built houses for their families.  It seems to work out great this way.  We can look out for each other and Carlos' mom lives in his brother's house so they can visit often.

Man did we have a feast!  Our appetizer was enchiladas, which are different than in the US.  They are served on fried tortillas, open faced.  Those were delicious so I had to have five.  Then we snacked on pieces of ham and cheese while sipping non-alcoholic wine in fancy wine glasses.  Soon we decided it was time for dinner.  We had pork chops and herbs wrapped in bacon with rice and cranberry jelly, like what we eat for Thanksgiving in the states.  I had made cookies, but we didn't even get to them because Hermida made 2 pies.  One was lemon pie and one was 2 cans of condensed milk beaten with cream cheese.  She insisted we try one piece of each and they were great together - one sour, one very sweet so they balanced each other.  My stomach was crammed when I left.  I could barely finish the last bites of pie.

Carlos' mother is awesome.  I love her.  She is in her mid-80's.  She is in great shape mentally and physically, though she is hard of hearing.  Sometimes rather than looking around to see if anyone is talking she announces things in a very loud voice.  Usually they are nice things like saying that my Spanish was very good, or that I am a part of the family now.  (That felt awesome!)  Sometimes she says some really hilarious things too.  You know, the things everyone is thinking but nobody says out loud?  Yeah.  She says those things sometimes.  Loudly.  Everyone tries not to laugh, but we do.

Yesterday the family exchanged Mother's Day cards.  She asked us to read them to her.  I read one.  Carlos read another.  I was wishing desperately that I had a camera.  As Carlos read the card from himself and his wife to his mother, she put her forehead down on the table and closed her eyes, like she was completely soaking in every word.  It was beautiful.

She likes to tell stories about the past and her best friend named Gwendolyn (a North American name she points out) from third grade.  When guests are around she likes to say the prayer that Gwendolyn taught her 80 years ago.  She still remembers every word and with a little encouragement (mostly for show) she leads the family in prayer before we eat.  Mita (grandma) never lacks in appetite or opinion.  I think it is a blessing that I am accepted by her.

Last night I didn't sleep very well and woke up with a headache and sore throat, but that disappeared with some ibuprofen.  Must have been the sparkling juice.  ;~P    I contemplated not going to church, but knew I couldn't miss Mother's Day.  When I got there Chema put me in charge of the roses for the mothers.  Except that he kept changing how they were to be dispersed.  Finally everything fell into place.  We decided that many of the kids were too young to take a flower to their mothers, so I got to hand out flowers to some of my favorite mothers.  I started with Marlin, giving her the rose, and a big hug and "Felicidades".  "Felicidades" is like congratulations but is used on birthdays, holidays or any happy occasion so it's a little different.  Then there was Lourdes' Mom and Lourdes and Chayito and some of the moms from Los Pinos.  I don't know how many moms I hugged, but it was great.  I didn't get to hug my own Mom today, but I got to honor a lot of other moms instead.  One lady was not thrilled about being hugged, but I hugged her anyway.  I didn't want to treat one different from all of the rest.  Hugging here is a common manner of greeting, so I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary.

As I hugged my way through the line of mothers I thought about how much I have changed in the past 6 months.  Six months ago I would not have loved going down the line of ladies and wishing them a happy Mother's Day.  I wouldn't have felt honored to be able to give them each a rose and a hug.  I would have done it, but only because I was asked, and not with the joy that I felt today.  I love how God has changed my heart and opened me up for relationships in a new way.  For the first time in my life I am putting effort into making friends and deepening relationships.  It was scary at first, but now it is very rewarding.

Mothers in front while Samuel prays over them

Mothers during prayer

Flower girls

After church I gave all of the ladies in my discipleship group bags of my homemade chocolate chip cookies.  The church served Chinese food, a staple of every Honduran diet.  Moms were served first, then kids and finally fathers.  Outside the church up on the hill was a woman who is mentally ill.  Her son grew up in the Breakfast Program.  Lourdes got him the opportunity to attend the private boarding school in Olancho, so he is there now.  But his mother was outside the gates with her hair knotted into dreadlocks and a baby doll in her arms.  She kept yelling down for food.  I told Lourdes that she was up there and asked if I could take her a plate of rice.  Lourdes said please do, so I did.  But then the lady got upset because I didn't serve her doll.  She told me the doll was hungry.  I didn't know what to say.  It was sad.  Some of the boys started asking how many months old the doll was and she answered them seriously.  I gave them a stern look and they followed me back to the church.  I can't imagine how her son must feel to see his mother in that condition.  Sometimes she is in worse.  I am glad he is away at school where he doesn't have to see this any more.

After church I started making eclairs, but realized I hadn't boiled my beans for the day.  If you don't boil beans every day they go rancid.  My stove can't operate the stove-top and the oven at the same time, so I had to stop the eclairs and boil the beans.  It was the first time I have made beans since I bought a blender.  Wow!  So much easier than mashing them with a cup!  What a luxury!

After calling my Mom to wish her a happy Mother's Day I was late for my second Mother's Day dinner - this one for Hermida's family.  Her family is huge but I know most of them now.  One was visiting from Costa Rica and a few came from Tegus who normally don't visit.  We had rice with seafood and a nice salad.  Then we had two more deserts!  I think I gained 10 pounds this weekend.  Nobody can say that I am too thin anymore.  I am starting to get chunky!  I've been exercising but that only goes so far when you eat two deserts with each meal.

We laughed and gabbed and took pictures.  It was a nice time.  I left Jetty downstairs while I was gone, thinking that she would go upstairs on her own, but she didn't until I came back.  She seems to really like hanging out downstairs.  The running joke is that it will take her another 6 months for her to learn to go down the spiral staircase, but I honestly don't know if she will ever do it.

All in all it was a really nice Mother's Day.  I hope it was as enjoyable for all of the mothers involved as it was for me.  I like celebrating Mother's Day in Honduras.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

After 6 living in this house for 6 months, today Jetty finally climbed the spiral staircase on her own.  I have been carrying her downstairs when I cook or am going to spend time down there, but usually she spends all of her time upstairs which is pretty small and not very stimulating for her.

This morning I did three loads of laundry, made re-fried beans, and baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies 6 at a time because that is what will fit in my oven.  Jetty hung out downstairs the whole time.  A few times I found her half way up the spiral staircase, but she wouldn't go any further.  She likes to be able to see either the bottom or the top.  I grabbed her bowl of food and set it in the middle, then sat down with her like I have a million times as we have been working on this for six months.  This time was a little different.  She rubbed her whiskers on the railings over and over, leaving her scent.  She was purring the whole time, but she is always purring so that was not unusual.  I tried and tried to coax her to come up, but she kept retreating to the bottom.  Finally I gave up.

I was sitting upstairs in my room when suddenly I noticed she was beside me.  Usually she cries until I come down, get her and carry her back up the stairs.  At first I thought I was nuts.  Did I bring her up and not remember it?  No.  She came all by herself!  Yay!!  Now if I could get her to go downstairs on her own I won't feel so bad for her stuck in one room all of the time.  I'm thinking of this as Jetty's Mother's Day gift to me.

I have a batch of cookies cooling on the table.  ALL of my bedding washed, the railing dusted (if you could see how intricate the design is you would understand why that is a feat), and beans simmering in the crockpot.  I used more electricity today than I normally use in a month.  Not looking forward to the electric bill.

I am hoping that my next amazing blessing might be a stove - preferably gas so it still works when the power goes out.  But any stove that fits a cookie sheet and doesn't go up to 450 degrees when it's set at 350 will do.

Do you pray when you get into your car?

What a cool week!  I got tickets to go back to Salt Lake.  My friend Jody is throwing a big pool party.  Not only that, she is letting me stay at her house, borrow her car, and picking me up from the airport. What a great friend!

I am listening to bluegrass, getting ready for Telluride.  Some friends have offered to drive me there and back, which is great.  I can't wait for 10 days of camping in the mountains, hanging out with awesome friends, and listening to great music.  This is the 40th anniversary of the Telluride Bluegrass Festival, so there is an extra incredible line-up this year.  My brother and his family will be there too.  Yay!  Can't wait for time with my nephews!

Lourdes' cousin died today.  He had a collapsed lung and 2 heart attacks so he was in ICU hooked up to all sorts of machines.  The hospital said it was too expensive to keep him that way for more than 48 hours so Lourdes asked us to pray for a miracle, but God took her cousin this morning.  She took a bus with Belinda to Comoayagua for the funeral.  Here the funeral happens as soon as the autopsy is finished so it will be tonight or tomorrow morning.

Monday Jairo will have his gall bladder removed.  We are praying for an easy surgery and a quick recovery.

Yesterday one of the young men from the church asked me to teach him English.  I asked what day he wants to meet.  He said every day!  I was shocked by how much English he learned in his public school.  He was far ahead of what I had planned for the lesson and his pronunciation was seriously incredible.  He can make sounds that don't exist in Spanish, therefore most Spanish speakers cannot make them.  I was astonished.  He is fun to work with because he is eager to learn and has a natural gift.  After an hour and 1/2 I asked if he wanted to stop but he said no, keep going!

Another cool thing that happened today may seem so simple, but it was an honor.  A boy from the church who has helped me with tons of different things over the past year called and asked if I was able to buy some minutes for his phone.  I know he would NEVER normally ask unless he really needed something.  He said he will pay me Monday.  I felt so happy that he trusted me enough to ask for something he needed.  I know that was probably really hard for him.

As I was going home tonight I saw the lady who cleans the Sarmiento's house sitting by the road.  I stopped, backed up and asked if she needed a ride.  She said sure if I didn't mind going to La Tigra.  I told her I have nothing else to do.  We had a nice ride, talking and laughing.  It feels so great to be able to do things for other people now that I have a car.  Before I felt like I was always asking for favors from others.  Now I can finally give back!

There is another forest fire across the street tonight.  I thought maybe we were done with those for this season.  Guess not.

Tomorrow I am invited to a Mother's Day dinner with my landlord's brother and sister-in-law.  I love hanging out with them.  I'm bringing cookies.  We agreed we are sick of cake.  It will be fun.

I thought about something today.  Do you pray when you get into your car?  I never have before, but I sure do now.  I pray that I will get to my destination safely.  I pray that nobody will hit me and I won't hit anyone.  (People frequently cut me off and put themselves in positions where I have to swerve around them.)  Today I was nervous because I wanted to go to the store that is hard to leave because of traffic.  I prayed on the way there.  Then I sat in the store parking lot and prayed before I started the car to leave.  Then I was amazed.  There was a line of cars which stopped and let me pull straight out of the parking lot.  Cars in Honduras NEVER do that.  Then the cars literally parted and let me into the traffic circle.  It was completely bizarre.  I got around the circle and saw the line of traffic backed up and pushing to get into the circle.  They had the right of way, not I.  It should have been nearly impossible for me to inch into that circle.  But God made the way for me!  Wow.  Sometimes I am so surprised (although I shouldn't be) by the little ways God cares for me.  Not only does He keep me safe, He makes sure that I am comfortable driving in heavy Friday afternoon traffic.  He literally clears the way for me!  I don't mean to be cliché, but God is so good!

I am blessed to be in Honduras, to have great friends - both old and new, to be invited to special events, to spend every day with amazing children, to be able to teach, to live in an absolutely beautiful place, to have people who care about me and trust in me, to have all of my needs met, to be healthy and to be happy deep in my soul.  Thank you God!  I love you!

Wednesday

Lately I could start almost every post with "Today was a super good day."  Still enjoying my freedom, but not enjoying the cost of gas in Honduras.  Ugh!

This was this morning:

Nino and Jarvin link arms and make a throne for Misael

Kings of their castle

Shy Cindy

Today we had more kids at the Breakfast Program.  There were close to 40 in the morning group alone!  It was strange because kids who normally come weren't there, but a lot of the kids who used to come stopped in for a visit.  It was nice to see them.

In the afternoon I visited my new friend Kim.  We had a healthy North American style dinner - a type of bruschetta served over a portabello mushroom instead of crostini and topped with mozzarella cheese.  We got onto the topic of cooking and I said I had an extra crock pot.  Kim's was stolen when thieves broke in and stole "everything with a chord".  Turned out to be a great deal for me.  I am giving her a crock pot and they are lending me a de-humidifier.  The mold has started to grow back in my living room, so this should take care of the problem.  I was warned my electric bill will skyrocket, but I see no way around it.  Perfect timing because the rainy season is just starting.  I'm pretty excited.  Never thought a de-humidifier could be so exciting.

After dinner Kim and I had some lady time.  Four year old Tatiana tried her best to keep herself occupied, but she really wanted to hang out with us.  She is a fire cracker.  She couldn't watch Veggie Tales because the iPad was "dead as a doornail".  Kim and I had a nice conversation between Tatiana's singing and guitar playing.  Too bad her violin is broken, or we may have had more performances.

It is always fun to make a new friend, but it is especially nice when you can see God's hand bringing you together.  I have a certain level of comfort with Kim that I don't have right away with most people.  It's not because she is North American.  We just click.  We are going to meet on Wednesday nights and we have plans to go for walks on the property where she lives.  It is beautiful there!  It will be interesting to see the plans God has for our friendship.

Let's appreciate the good things!

Still enjoying the freedom of having my own car.  Lourdes said when I came to visit her a few days ago that she felt so happy as she watched me pull away in my car.  She thought about all of the new adventures that lie ahead for me and the path I took to get this car.  She said not only is she happy that I got a car so perfect for me, she is also happy for the freedom it allows me.  I can drop in and visit her or Joss, I can run errands - I am a new woman!

We are very concerned about the number of kids at the Breakfast Program.  Today there were only 36 kids and it's been about the same for 2 weeks now.  I know the kids enjoy their time at the church.  I know they like the food (and need it!).  I asked Lourdes why she thinks they stopped coming and what we can do to get them to come back.  She said that she thinks it is kind of a phase.  Right now the parents are hearing about a lot of scary things in the media and keeping the kids nearby.  She said as time passes and the frenzy dies down the kids will return.  We serve an area that is repeatedly referred to as one of the most dangerous parts of the city.  So basically our kids come from the most dangerous part of the deadliest region on earth, according to media.  I can't wait for them to come back.

I have been doing most of the lessons lately.  A tiny part of me is a little grateful that we have a smaller number of kids.  It is easier for them to sit quietly and participate in the lesson when there are less kids.  But only a tiny part of me feels that way.  99% of me is sad and misses the other 70 kids I don't get to see anymore.  I worry if they have enough food.  I worry what sort of horrible things might have happened that would cause them to be scared to come to the church.  It has been weeks and weeks since I last saw Lorenzo.  We keep telling the kids to bring their friends with them, but for some reason they don't come.  Please continue to pray.  I know the majority of these kids are malnourished if they do not eat at the Breakfast Program.

Yesterday Clara went to the hospital.  She needed to be hospitalized after a chemotherapy treatment that hit her really hard, but there are no open beds.  She spent the night sitting in a chair in the waiting room.  Lourdes talked to her and said Clara had no food and no money for food.  Lourdes sent money with one of Clara's daughters today.  Clara has been doing SO well.  I am grateful she felt so strong thus far and sad that she is sick today.  But Clara is a fighter!

On a happier note, I think the rainy season has come.  It rained again last night for most of the night and was cloudy most of the day.  The fire that started a month ago across the street on the way into the city is still burning.  Even after all of the rain over the past few days.

My truck was muddy this morning.  Don Juan doesn't like it when my truck is muddy.  He said, "Pull your truck up to these buckets after the kids leave and it will take us two seconds to clean your car.  There is a lot of water.  All you have to do is roll up your pant legs and we'll get it done."  I guess 'roll up your pant legs' is the Spanish version of 'roll up your shirt sleeves'.  He was right.  Together, we washed my truck and Jairo's in only a few minutes.  Mine was muddier because of the dirt road I travel on every day.  Don Juan said we should open a car wash business to serve the wealthy kids at Unitec - the college next door to the church.  He watched a show on The Discovery Channel about a man who owed 3 million dollars and paid it off washing cars.  Watch out!  Don Juan and I may be millionaires soon.  Except that we are not allowed on the Unitec property.  That will be our first hurdle.

Today I was reading about a friend in the states who is going through a hard time.  I could understand why she is not happy.  But sometimes we get so focused on the things that make us unhappy that we forget about all of the things we can be happy about!  I have too many things to begin to list - that in itself is amazing!  I would bet that Clara, who has been sitting in a dirty, loud, crowded, smelly hospital, without food, waiting for a bed because she is ill with a disease that can be deadly, would tell you that she is grateful for many things right at this very moment.  Let's appreciate the good things we are blessed with and not give so much power to other things that come up in life.  Who knows?  Sometimes what seems to be a bad thing, turns out to be a blessing in disguise.