Feels like home

Every time I come back to Salt Lake I am amazed by how much it feels like home.  It sneaks up on me.  I never expect it.  If I weren't so happy in Honduras I would probably want to move back here.

Today I was driving around, visiting friends and running errands.  For a moment I felt sad that this is no longer my home.  But then I remembered how happy I am in Honduras and decided to just soak it all in and appreciate that I am able to visit.

I had coffee and chatted with my friend Sandrine for four hours.  They closed the coffee shop and put away all of the chairs so we talked in the parking lot until her sister called from France.  Then we finally said good bye.  When I got home Jody, Steve and I went for a swim in their pool.  It's really hot (around 100 degrees) here every day lately.

For dinner my friend Heather treated me to sushi!  I was so happy to see her I didn't even notice she could barely walk as she came in.  She broke her toe today at work.  I haven't seen Heather since I moved to Honduras.  We had a tearful hello, then sat and chatted like it hadn't been a year and 1/2 since we last sat across the table from each other.  We ended up closing down that restaurant too.

On the way home it felt strange to drive through the city with the windows down.  In Honduras the first thing you do when you get into a car is lock it up and close the windows.  But tonight I drove through big, bad Salt Lake all by myself with the windows down.  It felt very unnatural, but good.

Back in the US, Telluride Bluegrass Festival

Just got back from 11 days of camping with good friends in Telluride, Colorado.  My brother and his family came too, but they stayed in a condominium.  We all went to a four day music festival and had a great time together.  Tomorrow I am headed for Salt Lake City for four days, then back to spend the 4th of July with my family.

My nephew, Jack, and me

Jack picked out his Honduras shirt

Joey and his Daddy, my brother, Bob

Jack, me, Bob and Joey

Jack and his new good buddy Gene

We howled at the moon!

Joey in his Honduras uniform and tie dye

Jack in his Honduras unniform

Bridal Veil Falls in the backdrop

Joey

Celebrating the 40th Anniversary of Telluride Bluegrass Festival

A parade!

Tina and her sister, Adela in the parade

Our whole clan

Beautiful place for a festival

Saying good bye for 3 weeks

Today the group that is visiting had a story time, lots of activities, singing and dancing that even the older kids enjoyed and stickers for everyone who learned the bible verse that went along with the theme.  After the team left the kids were still asking if they could tell us the verse to earn a sticker.

Every paid close attention - big or small

Sometimes our human behaviors can distance us from God
But all we have to do is JUMP back in and ask forgiveness

Christian won a contest with his shoelaces!

My friend Shelly graduated today.  She is now officially a dentist.  Wow.  What an achievement!  A doctoral degree.

Jose invited me to go to my first fútbol game tonight.  But at some point I have to clean the house and pack.  I leave for the US tomorrow morning.

Saying goodbye to everyone was different today than it was even 6 months ago.  I had to turn down dinner invitations, Christian's mom sent me fresh cheese.  Christian was so funny.  He sat down next to me and handed me a package wrapped in tinfoil inside a plastic bag.  He said, "Guess what it is?"  I picked it up and squeezed it.  It was heavy and firm with a little give.  He said he wanted to give me a cross necklace, but his mother made him bring me this.  I opened it up and said CHEESE!!!  I love cheese!  (I do, but I was worried how I could eat it all before I leave.)  He said, "My Mom said safe travels and we will miss you!"  And then he ran away to play.

I got lots of hugs and well wishes.  Lots of genuine "I'll miss you's".  I will miss them too!  3 weeks feels like a long time to be gone.  I didn't feel like this last time I left.  This time while I am gone I will miss a trip to Nicaragua.  I won't be here when Marlin finds out the sex of her baby.  Clara is going through a tough time and I'll be gone.  Lourdes and Jairo have stuff going on that I would normally help with.  There are two meetings and a final presentation for the Christmas event for Samaritan's purse.  And I'll miss the Honduras vs. US fútbol game.  Before I was never this involved.  Now there is so much I won't be a part of.

There was another death on the way home today.  I have never seen any deaths in the street before and now I've seen two in two days.  Yuck.  Yesterday's was in the newspaper today.  Two men on a motorcycle shot a taxi driver because he wouldn't pay them extortion money.

On the way to work a taxi tried to pass a car on the way up a hill and smashed head-on into a bus as they crested the top.  Taxi drivers are not known for their safe driving skills.  I didn't see anyone hurt there, but let me tell you, that little car was smushed.

Well, I'd better get to packing.  Tomorrow morning will be here soon! 

Things don't always go as planned

Nothing went right today, but somehow it never bothered me a bit.

I woke up at 4:30 a.m. from a really bad dream.  We had a meeting tonight from 5-9 p.m.  Who has meetings at that time?  (They didn't serve any food or even have a stretch break!)  I was not thrilled about being awake at 4 a.m., knowing it was going to be a long day.

This morning I had to pick up Walter at 8:30.  Usually I'm prompt but somehow I didn't get out of the shower until 8:40.  When I finally passed by to pick up Walter at 9 he kept me waiting outside for 10 minutes.  He is usually timely too so I kept the motor running and waited and waited...  Good thing I was late.

We went to immigration to pick up my immigration card.  First the boss wasn't in.  Then the machine was broken.  We left empty handed.

I wanted to go home and take a nap, but instead we headed to the church.  There is a group visiting this week and they are doing great things.  They are very hands on, singing and teaching and drawing with the kids.  They have different things planned for all week.  The kids are having a blast with them.  I love seeing all of the kids, from 2 years old to 14, enjoying themselves.  Today was pupusa day.  They seemed extra yummy today for some reason.

I got an email from the car dealership saying that after all this time - a month and a half - I have to go myself to register the car.  I knew that did not sound right, so I emailed all of the emails I have sent to the dealership, pestering them for the documents, to my friend who has been helping me with all of the car related things.  After I sent the emails I called him.  By the time he answered his phone he had already read the emails and had his assistant helping him.  He said he was about to call his lawyer.  He said the lawyer should have the papers by Friday at the latest.  I am in good hands!

So no residency, no car registration, and I was exhausted.  I tried to take a nap at the church after the kids left, but I just can't.  Don Juan even came and put a blanket over me.  It kept the mosquitoes away but didn't help me sleep.

Jairo asked if he and Lourdes could have a ride to the meeting.  I said sure!  He has driven me around for over a year.  Finally I was able to return the favor.  We stopped to pick up a prescription.  Normally it takes 2 minutes.  Today it took 10.  Jairo was worried about us being late so we took a short cut and came upon a murder in the middle of the street.  It was the first crime I have really come close to.  I was driving, so I couldn't see much, but Jairo said a cab driver got shot.  I made a quick decision and did a three point turn to get away as crowds of people gathered around in front of us.

We made it to the meeting just in time and got seats for all of us together.  The organization is called Samaritan's Purse.  They are based in the US have a lot of projects going on.  This is a Christmas gift for extremely poor kids.  But it is much more than a gift.  Their mission statement sums it all up - "To show the love of God in a tangible way (the gift)to the kids who need it most in collaboration with the local church."

The project asks the church to do the foot work and asks us to cover some of the cost, but they offer twice as many gifts as we have children in the church.  They told us to ask the kids to bring a friend to the Christmas party.  In the time before the party we ask the kids to pray for the friend they are going to invite.  The kids have a beautiful Christmas celebration learning about God and His love for them.  Then they receive a gift that comes from His provision.  They even talked about the attitude that we need to have when we prepare for the party.  They talked about how important kids are to God, how important hugs are to kids, and that no matter how much time we spend preparing a lesson, if we are only about getting the lesson across and not focused on the kids, we are not meeting their needs.

All in all it was a good meeting.  There are two more before we have a ceremony and are officially part of the program.  I am thinking I will spend Christmas in Honduras this year.

Joss and Belinda rode home with me.  It was nice to have some time to catch up with Joss.  She is incredible.  Now I'm tired and ready for some sleep.  Tomorrow will be my last day at the Breakfast Program for a while since I am headed back to the states for 3 weeks.  I'll miss the kids.  I'll miss my friends.  Tonight 3 friends called to make sure they said goodbye before I left.  I have a good life here, with good friends, doing good things.  Even when everything doesn't go as planned, it is still a good day.

A heart full of gratitude

Did you ever feel so grateful you think that your measly human level of gratitude is not sufficient to express you thankfulness?  That's how today was for me.

Two bad things did happen.  I found out a friend has prostate cancer and another friend with leukemia is 4 months pregnant.  But otherwise today was completely amazing.

This is my friend Dave and me at Telluride Bluegrass Festival in 2012.
I expected to see him again on Saturday at this year's festival.
For about the past 9 years Dave has camped there with my group of friends.
Due to his recent diagnosis of prostate cancer, he won't be at Telluride this year.
I am praying that we will see him next year, restored to full health.
For now, he will be greatly missed.

I finally got to really test drive my car on an uncongested highway.  It ran like a dream so I slowed down when I saw I was going 120 km/hr in a 40 km/hr zone.  Oops!

We had the most incredible time of worship at church.  I'll admit that usually I am done with singing after about the 4th song.  Today we say 9 or 10 songs and the spirit was really moving among us.  It was great!  Jairo was not supposed to speak today.  He is still officially on medical leave.  But he got up to say that he could feel the spirit moving and he knew big things were going to happen today in the church.

Luis Urbina spoke.  He has a gift for preaching, although it is not his official "job".  In his message he asked if we are aware of what we really want in life?  And if we do know what we want, then do we seek after God with our whole hearts to pray for those things?  (Jeremiah 29:11-14)  There was a lot more to it.  People were really, really moved.  Myself included.  He said do you have needs?  Are you sick?  Are you without provisions?  And if you do have everything you need do you seek after God with all your heart to share your prosperity and blessings with others who need it? - that's where I thought I fit in.  It was a beautiful service.

After church a friend of Lourdes and Jairo's split the cost with me and we took the Sarmientos, Belinda's family, and Walter out for pizza.  I told Jairo he should choose the place because of his dietary restrictions.  He said pizza is less greasy than Chinese food, so we went to Al Padrino.  It was a nice lunch.  Jairo said he thought it was even more tasty today than usual.

As we were leaving Jairo came to my car.  He told me that tomorrow he needs to go to the bank.  I didn't really understand why he was telling me this until the very end.  Basically the church would like to offer me some financial assistance for my time in the US!  I sat in shock as he turned and walked away.  I didn't even compose myself enough to say thank you.  Then I burst into tears.  And my car was parked behind Jairo's so they couldn't leave until I got myself together enough to drive.  I still become tearful thinking of this.  The church doesn't have money.  I don't know how they can afford to help me like this, but it is not my place to ask.  I can only be grateful.

Sometimes I have problems with self worth.  When things like that happen (the church offers me money), or when someone from the church whom I barely knew offers to pay my car insurance for a year, or when 4 people ask if I need a ride to the airport, and many tell me I will be missed when I go to the US this week, or when Christian (Conejo) asks his Mom if he can go to the US with me, or when Lourdes meets me at church this morning with a box FULL of jewelry she made for me (then compliments me on how nice I look when I wear it), or when a friend from the US tells me she is excited to talk to me on the phone - sometimes these things surprise me.  I am not good at receiving because I don't feel worthy.

We all went back to Lourdes and Jairo's house.  I collapsed in a pile of tears when they walked into the house and I tried to thank them.  They told me the church's money is God's provision for me.  I explained sometimes I don't feel worthy of such good things.  I don't remember exactly what Lourdes said because I was sobbing and trying to explain in Spanish how I felt, but at one point she said something about a husband for me.  That sobered me up quick.  I stopped crying and said, "Thank GOD I do not have a husband yet because until I learn to value myself more, I can't choose a man who will be good for me."  She agreed.  I am praying this will be my next area of personal growth.  Not the husband, but that I can know my own self worth.

Lourdes did some spring cleaning.  She gave me a ton of shoes for every occasion, some dressy jackets, warm jackets, even a full length coat.  She gave me purses and blouses and a cool bible bag.  I needed help to get everything out to the car.  It reminded me of when I was leaving to move to Honduras.  I gave away almost everything that I couldn't fit into my suitcases.  I came here with 2 suitcases.  Now I have a full wardrobe with more clothes than I need.

Lessons for today:  God always provides.  I am appreciated and loved.

Thank you for reading!  Another lesson in self worth - I am always shocked to see that an average of 40-50 people from literally all over the world read my blog every day.  Thank you for caring about what is going on in Honduras.  And thank you to those who care about me.

Two jokes

I forgot something really funny that happened today.  Hope it translates into English.  In Honduras there are 2 phone companies.  One is Tigo, the other is called Claro.  There are huge billboards all over advertising for Claro that say, "Claro que si."

"Claro que si" translates in English to "For sure" or "Of course" or "By all means" - you get what I am trying to say.

So today a girl asks Marlin if she can use Marlin's phone.  Most people have two phones, or at least two chips - one for Claro and one for Tigo because the calls are usually free if you call another person within the same company.  Before she dials the number, the girl asks Marlin if Marlin has Tigo (because she is calling someone with Tigo).  Marlin answers, "Claro."

The girl and I look at each other.  We are obviously thinking the same thing.  Does Marlin have Claro?  Or is she saying "Sure" that she has Tigo?  We cracked up laughing.

The girl asked, "Claro que si?" or "You have Claro?  Marlin still says "Claro" and we just look at each other again.  Finally through my laughing out burst I ask if she has Claro or Tigo.  She looks at us like we are dumb and says very simply "Tigo".

I hope someone found that funny.  It sure was funny to me.

Another funny thing that happened was that yesterday a rumor started that I had sold my car.  I don't know why that rumor started.  One of the girls at the Breakfast Program told me she was really sad that I sold my car because it matches me really well - my car and I are both pale.

I guess I can see where she was coming from.  Sometimes kids say the funniest things.  And Marlin too.

Jairo, Belinda, Anna, Jacky and I all think Marlin is having a baby boy.  Don Juan thinks it's a girl.  Marlin said she doesn't know.  Her tummy is getting really big!  I am sad I will miss out monthly photo on the 22nd of this month.  Marlin told Lourdes yesterday that she is thinking of going to a different Dr for her ultrasound because where she usually goes they only check to see if the baby is healthy and they get mad if you ask if it is a boy or a girl.  I'm more and more sure it is a boy.  But we'll see.  How sad that the ultrasound people won't tell you if they see a boy or girl!

Strawberry Jam and Cream Cheese

We had a lot of kids today at the Breakfast Program.  I really didn't count how many.  The older kids are coming more regularly because there is an outing for them tomorrow.  The only kids allowed to go on the outing are the ones who attend the jovenes group every week.  But they figure if they show up at the Breakfast Program they may be allowed.  It worked for some.  They are going swimming and having a BBQ.

I had a pleasant surprise.  As I rode into the city with Jairo and Walter this morning the mechanic called Walter's phone and said my car should be ready by 2 pm.  I didn't get my hopes up.  But then he called back at 3 to say it was ready!

He fixed everything we knew needed fixing, plus found a couple of other things, all minor details.  A noise that was driving me insane was because the previous owner put parts on it that weren't Honda brand so the suspension was too stiff.  Now I have new parts for that and no noise.  Once of the ABS sensors was bad - we knew that when we bought it.  That is fixed.  A brake light was out.  The filters and spark plugs are clean.  Now there is just one thing left to be done that he will work on while I'm gone.  It has something to do with the Spanish word for bullets, so I'm guessing ball bearings or ball joints or something.  But so far it hasn't cost much at all.  The car ran well before, but now it's running better than ever.  I am really blessed to have found a good, fast, trustworthy mechanic in Honduras.

I stopped at Mas x Menos to look for vanilla for a friend in the US and broccoli for dinner.  I was starving.  Only had a yogurt at 9 a.m. and it was after 6 pm.  I decided I could hold out for a good, home cooked meal rather than throwing something together fast.  Plus I'm trying to use up everything in the fridge that will go bad while I'm gone.  I came into the house to find Jetty downstairs once again.  (Yay!)  And no power.  (Boo!)  The skies are clear, no rain or wind or thunder.  No idea why the power is out tonight.  Not only is it a bummer that I can't cook anything for dinner, there is an important soccer game on TV.  Everyone in the world wore their jerseys today.  And I am stuck with no oven and no TV.  BUT  I am going to look at the bright side.  My car is fixed for much less money than I expected and I had the fixings for a strawberry jam and cream cheese sandwich.  So, overall it was a good day.

My first Honduran "Hole in the Wall"

Been a while since I wrote.  First I was busy because Lourdes and Jairo were in Guatemala.  Now I'm busy because they are back.

Yesterday we dropped my truck off for a check up before it gets to 100,000 kilometers.  They found a few things that need to be fixed, which is no surprise, so I am without a car for a while.  I hope I'll get the car back before I leave to go to the US, but I'm not holding my breath.

Yesterday we went out to lunch to celebrate Lourdes and Jairo being back home.  They took me to a place they said every person who lives in Honduras should go at least once.  I kept thinking about how much my Dad would have loved the place.  The owners started out as street vendors, cooking over big barrels on the side of a dirt road.  It's still a bad neighborhood, but a dining destination.  Everything is cheap and good.

We had what I can best describe as the Honduran version of samosas with a typical Honduran "salad" (cabbage) on top.  It was deep fried and fattening, but delicious.  Jairo and Walter stuck to their diets and ate yucca.  I told Jairo that when he lives in the US, if anyone ever asks him if he wants to go to a "hole in the wall" he should always say yes because this type of place is the definition of a hole in the wall.  Picnic tables, bottles of rum turned into containers for "chilis".  I even saw a pigeon walking around inside.  It wasn't bothering anyone.

In Honduras pigeons are not thought of as dirty nuisances, like in the US.  People here often comment about how pretty a pigeon is.  That was a strange thing to get used to at first.  But I have learned to see pigeons as pretty now too.

I am back to riding everywhere with Lourdes and Jairo.  Jairo said it is good for me to learn dependence again and that everything does not move in MY time.  He's right.

Monday the Breakfast Program is cancelled because we are all going to a meeting for Samaritan's Purse - the people who are giving gift boxes to needy kids in our area.  We have to go to three weeks of training to learn how to receive and distribute the boxes.  It actually sounds really interesting.  I am disappointed that I won't be here for the second and third week.  I am also REALLY disappointed that I won't be here for baptisms this year.  I love baptisms and I love the day after baptisms when all the kids at the Breakfast Program get to swim in the pool.  Bummer.  I am considering cutting short my time in the US and coming back early.  I am also fairly sure I will stay in Honduras for Christmas this year.  That will be a fun, new experience!  It will be nice to be here to hand out the Samaritan's Purse boxes and to see the Christmas celebration at the church.

As I opened the door to my house tonight I had a new experience.  Usually as I approach the house I can hear Jetty meow from upstairs.  As I put the key in the keyhole I heard her cry, but it sounded like she was just on the other side of the door.  I opened the door slowly and sure enough, there she was.  She led me straight over to her empty dry food.  I realized I hadn't fed her this morning because she had some food in her dish, but not enough to last the 10 hours I was at the church.  So she went downstairs to look for the other food dish I keep down there.

Part of me is happy for Jetty because now she can explore the whole house and have a more diverse life.  I hated that she was just staying in my bedroom all of the time.  That's not healthy for her.  On a personal level I would love to get her litter box and food downstairs.  But at the same time I am leaving to go to the states.  Jetty has a tendency to jet out the door quicker than quick, so I am a little nervous she will get out while I am gone.  I trust the cat sitter, but it has happened to me more than once, even when I am careful.

Sunshine and Rain

When I saw the date on my bulletin at church today I realized I'll be back in the US in 10 days!  Wow.  Time flies!

Last night was a really mellow evening with Jose and Karla.  We ate Chinese food, the girls went to bed, Jose hung out for a while with droopy eyes.  He had been working since 7 a.m. and had to get up for school (yes - on a SUNDAY) at 5:30 a.m.  When he excused himself to go to bed I didn't blame him a bit.  But Karla is still Karla.  She can work all day and stay up all night.  So we chatted until 11:30.  It was nice to just sit and talk.  No tv, no kids, just us.

When I moved to Honduras I imagined myself at their house all of the time.  This is only about the fourth time I've visited in over a year!  I told them I want to come over more often on Saturday nights because they live so close to the church I can sleep late and still get there on time.  Well, we were a little late, but that was because we couldn't find the sugar.  I'll explain that later -

Karla told me she was really shocked when I called yesterday to confirm.  She didn't have my number saved in her phone yet because she was assaulted a few weeks ago while coming home from work.  They stole her camera, cell phone, computer, a significant amount of $ and her wedding ring.  She just got a new phone and hadn't put my number in yet.  She said when I called she didn't recognize my voice because I didn't sound like a "gringa".  She was trying to figure out which of her Honduran friends were calling when I told her it was me!  She and Jose had a good laugh over that.  They remember 4 years ago when my Spanish was not as good.  Now I blend right in!

This morning as we were getting ready for church Karla asked if I wanted some coffee.  I told her usually I don't, but today I could use some.  As she was brewing the coffee she realized there was no sugar in the house.  She searched everywhere at least 3 times and couldn't find sugar.  I was wishing I hadn't asked her to make coffee as I really don't enjoy it without sugar.

Meanwhile her daughter Valery, who has Down Syndrome and is almost nonverbal, kept asking for one of the containers on the shelf.  Valery LOVES sugar.  After Karla ended her search she leaned over and asked Valery what she wanted.  Valery said sugar.  Karla explained there was no sugar, but Valery kept pointing to a container.  Finally Karla took down the container and shook it to show Valery it was empty.  Then she opened it as a final demonstration.  To our amazement there was sugar inside!  It was sugar in the raw as we would call it in the states.  It must have been humid enough that the sugar stuck together and didn't move when Karla shook the container so it felt empty.  We all laughed and clapped for Valery because she was so smart and persistent in helping us find the sugar.

Yesterday before I left I sent a message to my landlord and her daughter, letting them know I would be gone for the night.  I contemplated if I should.  It felt a little childish.  But I thought they might worry if my car wasn't in the driveway all night.  Later I saw my landlord's husband at the church.  I told him I felt a little foolish telling them that I was spending the night with my friends.  He said no, thank you for telling us.  He explained he can't sleep at night, even when he is really tired, until everyone on the property (including his brother and their household) are home.  He said when he and his wife pull into the driveway after work the first thing they look for is my car.  On the occasion that it is not there, they keep checking until it is.  Good thing I keep reasonable hours!  He said exactly what I was thinking when I sent the message to his daughter and his wife.  It's not about where I am and what I am doing, it's about safety.  I told him I really appreciate that they look out for me and I have no problem making sure they know my whereabouts.  What a blessing to be surrounded by so many people who care so much!

This afternoon was beautiful.  There were dark storm clouds over the city.  It rained as we left church.  But up in the mountains it was sunny and just the right temperature.  The air was cool but the sun was warm.  I decided to go for a little walk.  I found two tomato plants in front of my house with three red tomatoes and a bunch of baby green ones.  They were lying on the ground so I grabbed some sticks and propped them up, thinking I should really get some twist ties because the first heavy rain would probably knock them down.  I noticed a tree with greenish yellow fuzzy fruit on it.  Looked like peaches, but I've only seen them ripe before.  Just then Carlos came walking along.  I showed him my tomatoes.  He got a laugh out of the way I had propped them up.  Then I asked about the fruit.  He said they were peaches, reached over, grabbed one off the tree and took a bite.  He said he never saw this tree before but it was FULL of fruit.  He grabbed me one and just as I took my first bite of the crunchy green peach, bullet-like raindrops started to fall.  We stood there in the sun, enjoying our peaches.  But the rain started coming down harder so we headed up the mountain.  It let up for a second.  We chatted and watched the rain fall through the sun, but then he pointed South and I heard the sound of pounding rain coming from that direction so he made a dash for his house.  I went upstairs and grabbed Jetty.  She and I stood out on the balcony and watched the sunshine through the rainstorm.  She seemed to like it too.

5K at K2

I just learned that K2, my home church in the US, did a fundraiser for the Breakfast Program today!  I knew they were doing a 5K fundraiser, but I didn't know anything about a table for Honduras.

My headache is gone!  Today is a day of laundry and house cleaning.  Then I'm heading off to Jose and Karla's house for a night of Chinese food, movies and fun.  I am excited to spend time with them.  Evenings like this are something I used to look forward to during the 3 years I was in the US, waiting for God's time to move to Honduras.

I just did my monthly budget.  Gasoline cost $265 this month which I don't have in my budget.  If anyone is able to help out with that, it would mean that I don't have to cut down on the way I help out around here.  Please consider supporting me on a monthly basis, or offering a one time donation.  Thanks!  www.WorldOutreach.org/donations  - Click on my name (Fager, Mary Lynn)