Fourth Anniversary of Serving in Honduras - Look at me now!

Just finished celebrating my 4th year of living in Honduras. Although the past year was difficult, it was totally worth every bit of struggle to arrive where I am now.

My coworkers celebrated with me. Here we are:

Abel, Jorge, me, Sandra (who runs the club with me), and Keyrin

Our friend Yesica wasn't able to come because her daughter is sick. Abel and Keyrin brought chicken wings. I cut up a bunch of fruit and we covered it in Nutella. We hung out in the garden. It's nice to have new friends who can go out and do things with me. We are planning a trip to Roatan in August!

Tomorrow I am skipping the weekly meeting and going with the psychologists to Las Minitas in Villa Nueva. We are starting a new group there for the prevention of sexual abuse. It's going to be so cool! It teaches prevention of sex abuse through song, art and games. A coworker is going to lead this group while Yesica and I observe. We believe we will be able to identify children who have been sexually abused by the way they respond to the activities. Then we can step in and begin treatment as needed.

Thursday is my first day to teach the reading, writing and math class (also in Las Minitas).

Wednesday morning is the class for kids with conduct disorder/Aspergers in the private Christian school.

Wednesday afternoon I go to the club for kids in Nueva Suyapa with Sandra. This week the club is focusing on self esteem - how we handle criticism and how our words affect others, both positively or negatively.

A year ago I never imagined I would be doing all of these cool things! I really love the way I am serving now. Not only am I able to bless others, I feel fulfilled and blessed as well.

Project with Karla

Every night I stay awake late and get up early, waiting for the water to come. It used to come every Sunday and Wednesday. Last week it came Monday and Thursday and then it never came back. Just now I had to turn off the pumps because they were pumping air. I'm guessing from the sound it's not good for them.

Hopefully tonight will be the end of my wait. I'll stay up tonight and wash everything I can wash, water all of the plants and trees, and mop the floor. This time of year we never know when or if we'll have water.

Yesterday I picked up Karla and we spent the day together. It was really nice! First we cooked lunch together. Then we sat and ate. We talked and talked about all kinds of things. She likes to talk about her Mom. We looked at photos I have of her Mom. She seems happy, not sad. She was carrying around a couple of heavy burdens, but she said God told her to share them with me. I think she felt better afterward.

I learned that she is getting paid to work with me!!!!! I'm so happy for her! I never knew. In fact, neither did she until they gave her the money! She is really happy. This money will pay her sister's college tuition each month, plus she will have a little extra to set aside.

We also talked about safety. Things seem to be getting worse everywhere. She said that the corner where I drop off and pick up Ana is now a dangerous spot. Even the most protected houses with tall, thick walls are getting broken into. She said nobody is safe in Los Pinos. But she feels God protecting her.

(Later last night, around 7:30, there was a big shoot out behind my house. I used to hear a lot of gunfire back there, but not so much lately. Before it was always at 10 p.m. or later. Last night I was messaging with my friend on Facebook. She said my area was on the news because the gangs from El Hato, the little community next door where Fany and I buy groceries, are overflowing into Villa Nueva. My little colonia sits in between El Hato and Villa Nueva. My house is on the edge of my colonia, which means the other side of the wall behind my house is El Hato. That's why I can hear the gunshots so close by.

My colonia has armed guards at every gate. It is well known in the general public that you can't get into my colonia if you don't live here. I noticed today my neighbors electrified the barbed wire fence on top of their wall. I could hear it buzzing. That was new. Anyway, I am being extra careful. I shopped in El Hato yesterday morning, but talked to a woman who works with the gangs last night and was advised not to go back there until things have calmed down. I am thankful for my tall, thick brick wall topped in barbed wire. It keeps all of the craziness out.)

Okay, so back to Karla - After talking for a few hours, we got to work on her English project. She had to interview an English speaking person and video tape it for her teacher. We've been working on it over the phone for a while, but it still needed some fine tuning.

In the end, it turned out great! We pretended that she was sitting in the park, reading a book, and she was interviewing people who walked by. So I walked by and she called me over to sit down. Jetty even had a role. She tried to send me a copy of the video, but it didn't all copy for some reason and it's too big to download.

Here's a funny outtake from while we were practicing. She was supposed to stop me as I walked around the corner, but she was too busy pretending to read and she let me walk right by. We think it's hilarious. It may not be as funny to you. At least it will give you an idea of what we were doing.

I sent Karla home with a bunch of clothes I never wear and some food left over from the party on Tuesday.

My coworkers want to celebrate my four year anniversary with me! It is this Monday, and since we don't have to work they suggested last night that we should get together. I wanted to celebrate, but I am very low on money due to all of my car issues. If I invited most of my friends (outside of work friends) I would have to pay for them and their family. So I thought a party was not within my budget this year. I was content with the celebration for Abel and Keyrin on Tuesday. It will be an extra bonus if we can get together again Monday.

Today I have to get in some bible study. Then I am going over to Molly's house. Molly cares for two Honduran kids. Since I used to work with her last year, they got used to having me around. When we shared a room at a retreat last month I realized they actually missed me. I thought about the fact that I shouldn't just disappear from their lives now that I have another job. They have had enough people disappear - like their mother and father and siblings. The least I can do is show up and let them know they are important to me.

We are having lunch and then playing some games. Anderson is sick with a cold, so we can't go to the park as we'd planned. But that is fine. I may even get lucky and be able to wash a load of clothes there. We'll see...

My Pastor invited me to go to an island down South with him on Friday. It is supposed to be beautiful, but I feel very unsettled about the idea. I've been praying about it, asking God why I feel so ill at ease. I don't get opportunities like this often, so I really want to go. But unless things change I think I shouldn't. I'll keep praying about it.

My First Real Party

Against all odds, my party was a great success!

I was a little nervous. It's the first time that I've hosted people on my own. In the past I've invited Ana and her family or Erika and her siblings to my house. But really nobody else has been here and Fany always helped. So this was a first.

It's been raining since I woke up yesterday. We planned the party for late afternoon because it's been unbearably hot every day. Today everyone came in jackets and sweaters.

I got up early to clean the yard. In Honduras, the outside of your car is supposed to be kept perfectly clean at all times. Same with the outside of your house. So I was cleaning the yard, scrubbing the oil stains out of the driveway, pulling weeds, scrubbing the patio and sweeping the sidewalk at 8:30 a.m. Of course by the time my guests came in the afternoon, it was full of leaves and fallen flower petals again. Luckily, my guests didn't seem to notice or care.

Every single person who was invited showed up. I was surprised. One girl is new to our team and another has family in the hospital. But they still came.

First there was no water, then I realized that all of the chairs which usually are in the yard had disappeared, then the power went out. It fluctuated between sprinkles and rain the whole time. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, but we had a great time!

Everyone made themselves at home, which was nice. I played host, but it was because I wanted to. Not because I had to run around waiting on everyone.

We barbequed beef, pork and sausage. There was rice, beans, chismol, cheese and plantanos. Plus a FANTASTIC desert, which I don't know how to describe except it was very Easterish. It was like a layer of flan on top of tres leches cake with raisins. It was very light, juicy and delicious!

We were a diverse group. Some people were young, just finishing their internship from college. Others are close to my age and have been working at the organization for many years.

Everyone brought something. I contributed the beans. We all chipped in on the meat.

We celebrated the end of two internships, one birthday, and my four year anniversary. We laughed a lot and joked around. We are already looking forward to the next opportunity to get together.

The food is ready!

On the left is the lady who directs my club with me

Steps

Last night I talked to Karla. She needs some help with an English project this week, so I got her started on it. We will meet later this week to finish.

Karla has taken the first steps to starting her own business. She was able, on her own, to get the supplies and help she needed to build steps to the room where she will have the photocopier.

New Steps!

Karla is hoping to open her business the second week in April. She doesn't have a photocopier yet, but she is saving money now to buy some basic supplies that the kids here need for school. Things that the kids with no money have to buy all of the time for their school projects. Things we never need in the US, but they are costly and required here. She is going to start out selling those things until she can get a photocopier.

Karla was happy to hear that Erika's sister, Kenya, enjoyed attending Karla's club yesterday. She said Kenya was very attentive and fully participated in everything. Karla and I hope this will be a stepping stone to get Kenya back on track.

I talked to Karla about how impressed I was with our coworkers this week. While I was out with coworkers doing home visits on Friday we had a lot of work to do in limited time. But we went out of our way to go house to house and talk to the kids who haven't shown up for the club.

I think it is amazing that we are actually hunting the kids down, talking with neighbors and family, trying to get the kids to attend. Most of the kids who aren't coming to their clubs are the kids who could easily be considered "a lost cause". They aren't going to school. They don't seem to care about their future. They are not very respectful. They are the toughest to deal with. When they do show up they can be disruptive to the whole club. Yet my coworkers are out searching for the very kids who make their jobs tougher because they know those are the kids who need the club most. To them, NOBODY is a lost cause.

I am older than many of my coworkers, but I want to be like them. I want to think like them. I don't want to ever label a kid as too far gone. I don't want to avoid serving them because they are hard to deal with. I want to seek them out, show them love, make them know they are important, and serve them well. Just like my coworkers.

Car Maintenance

Yesterday I finally had new tires put on my car. I've been driving since at least Sunday with a huge hole in one tire. Praise God it didn't explode, and that I am able to ride most places with security so I don't drive as much anymore.

Yesterday morning I asked Fany if she thought the tire place would be packed after work. This week everyone is on vacation and they all leave the city to go to the beach or visit family in the country.

I said, "Fany, do you think everyone will be at the tire shop buying new tires so they can travel for Semana Santa?"

Fany laughed. She said, "Mary Lynn, you know that we don't think about our tires until they are already flat and we are stuck on the side of the road."

She's right, I thought. But I called the shop just in case. It was empty. I got my new tires with no wait.

Today I took the car to the mechanic because even with the new tires, it was pulling to the right. It was just aligned a couple of weeks ago. He took the car out for a drive and confirmed it was pulling to the right. I told him about my conversation with Fany. We noticed three cars broken down on the side of the road, one with an obviously messed up tire. Two more cars were driving on a big highway with their flashers on, going only about 20 mph.

He said that yesterday at 4 pm a lady called and was obviously trying to butter him up. She told him that her kids had their suitcases packed and her grandkids were already in their bathing suits. He told her, "How nice! Are you inviting me to go on vacation with you?"  She wanted him to take a quick look at her car before they left.

He said, "No, I don't have time. I have cars here that I've been working on all week." She thought he was joking. He assured her he was not joking and told her that he didn't even want to see her car because if anything DID go wrong with it, she had not left time for him to fix it, and he did not want to be responsible if it broke down while they were traveling. She was angry.

He said to me, "She should have checked her car before she packed her bags and let the grandkids put on bathing suits." I told him that's how I was raised.

I took my car to him two Mondays ago because I knew this week would be busy and next week everything will be closed for Semana Santa. He appreciates the way I take care of my car, although he does make fun of me a little, in a joking way, for keeping it so clean.

However, if my car were broken down on the side of the road I know that he would come and take care of it because he knows that I do everything I can to keep my car running right. For people who only call after they are packed and ready to leave on vacation he has much less patience.

Today is the first day of vacation. Since everyone travels, we don't have work again until next Tuesday! Things run a little slower in Honduras. Semana Santa ends Sunday, but people need that extra day to get themselves, and their cars, home.

On a separate note, somehow I have fleas. Thursday they bit me 28 times on one shoulder. Last night they bit my leg and back. The cat doesn't have fleas, but I do. And the diarrhea is lingering. I took a pill that gets rid of parasites. Ana says her whole family has diarrhea so now I think it's a bug. Normally my stomach is strong as iron, but I must admit this has thrown me for a loop.

And one last thing - Erika called this afternoon. The baby is constipated and didn't poop for 4-5 days. The doctor told her this is normal, but Erika is worried. (Good for her!) She also said that her 13 year old sister who dropped out of school did go to Karla's club today. Not only that, she had a good time and plans to go back. That made my day. At least Kenya will be involved in one positive activity. One step at a time...

Preventing Sexual Abuse

Thursday at the retreat one of the psychologists asked if I would like to be involved in a project about prevention of sexual abuse. How could I say no to that? (Although in the retreat when we were talking about each other's strengths and weaknesses, my coworkers said that I need to learn to say no because that is one of my weaknesses.) The psychologist said they are doing group therapy with all of the kids in the project, 10 at a time, so she could use my help. The goal is to teach prevention, but also to evaluate which kids are already victims of sex abuse.

Friday morning I got an earlier ride up to the community where I am now working most of the time. (The only time I am now in the other community is for the reading/writing/math class.) I've been traveling a lot with security which is good because my car has been messed up for seven weeks now. We reviewed the program and talked about how we will start using it. We start immediately after Semana Santa.

It is an extra cool program because it is done through play, art and music. None of it is lectures. I think the kids will love it and should open up in ways they never did before. It is called "Sex Abuse Prevention: Playing Can Strengthen Us For Difficult Situations".

I am really excited to be part of this project and honored that my coworkers thought of me for this. It is a program that originated in Argentina. We are the first to use it in Honduras!

At 10:30 we all gathered and went out into the community. One of the younger mentors is starting his own club. He needed help getting the information from each of the families he will serve. So the psychologist and I divided our coworkers into two groups and went house to house doing interviews with the parents. Part of the survey is supposed to only be done by a psychologist, so they were happy to have me along.

In the end I got back just in time to meet up with security for my ride home. It was a productive and fun day. I love being out in the community and am eager to put to use my experience in psychology. This is all stuff that leaves my heart full at the end of the day.

Crossing the Sea

Thursday we all met at the office and were transported to a tourist resort where we enjoyed a day of workshops.

In the morning we learned how to assess the communities in order to evaluate if our program can be effective there. It was interesting.

In the afternoon the social workers set up a bunch of activities for us to show us how we should approach the families and emphasize that everyone has something important to contribute, no matter who they are or where they come from. We did some team building activities and games to demonstrate that each person plays an important role.

Afterward we had a little celebration for the social workers and the psychology student who are now completing their internship with us. They have been with my organization for a year, so I only know my workplace with them in it. I can't imagine us without them. They have organized some really amazing things which I have had the honor to take place in this year. They will be missed!

Next week we are on vacation all week for Semana Santa, so I offered to throw a little going away party for them at my house. I rarely invite people over, so this will be a big deal for me. There are only nine of us. but I am already preparing.

Crossing a shark and alligator infested sea

Impacto Juvenil (Youth Impact)

Such Bravery

Wednesday was a super fun day. In the morning I did home visits with one of my coworkers. We had to visit the family of each kid in his club. We sat down with each parent and filled out a form about how the child is doing physically, emotionally and educationally. I had to be there because part of it needed to be completed by someone with a degree in psychology.

It was interesting to spend the day in the neighborhood where my club is, getting to know the people and my coworkers better. The person I did visits with that morning is someone who is very active in the community. I have always admired him, but never really talked with him personally. Even in his free time he is out on the streets making sure things are going as they should.

Last week, after five years of volunteering, he was officially given a part time paid position with the organization where I volunteer. I watched him fill out his schedule in the past. I thought he was paid full time, when in fact he was a volunteer. I remember the week that I was being nosey his schedule said that he worked seven days per week and was only free on Tuesday morning.

Last week I observed the same with another coworker. She is paid for part time work, but according to her schedule and what I observe, she works more than full time hours.

My coworkers are dedicated to our organization and to bettering their communities. I have a lot of respect for them. There is no such thing as 9-5 for them. They serve 7 days/week and are available to the people they serve almost every waking minute. Literally. Most of their houses are open as gathering places for the kids and graduates of their clubs. Sometimes they complain about it. But mostly they don't.

We only made 4 home visits on Wednesday morning because they were spread all over. We spent hours climbing up and down steep mountain paths. It's been hotter than ever lately. Even at night it doesn't cool down. I put on sunblock, put on a baseball cap (that's what people do here when it's sunny) and enjoyed my day but I was extra grateful for a shower that night. I drank two liters of water before noon and never urinated once all day. Sorry if that was TMI, but that's how hot it is!

I was a little nervous because since Sunday I had been suffering from diarrhea. I couldn't eat, but somehow the diarrhea still came. Thankfully, it didn't strike while I was out doing home visits.

It was interesting to see the different kinds of parents. Some parents have a lot of kids and remember every detail about every one. Other parents seem to have no clue how their kids feel or what they are up to.

The home that struck me most was a single mother. She lives in a tiny shack made of tin roofing with barbed wire strung around most of it. When we approached she came out of her house cleaning her hands. She had been making tortillas.

A little girl with a pretty braid in her hair was clinging to her mother's leg. Her face was covered in something red, maybe tomato sauce. She was sucking on an ear of corn. She was just learning how to talk. It's interesting to see when people take the time, in the midst of such deep poverty, to put braids in their little girls' hair.

My coworker told me he had been trying to get the son of this lady to come to the club for years. Finally he is coming. He is in extremely high risk of falling into dangerous activities. According to the interview, the mother said that as of yet, he is still just playing soccer. She believes he is not yet involved with gang members or people who use/sell drugs.

The mother explained that he never finished first grade although she put him in classes, his father's family enrolled him in classes and his grandparents have enrolled him. She said her son is very rebellious and has never been successful in school. It is not clear if it is a learning or behavioral problem.

The mother is 43 years old, almost my age, and pregnant with her 7th child. Very pregnant. She has never had medical care because she can't leave her home unattended or it will be robbed. Also she can't afford to go to the doctor.

There is no income in the home. We never did figure out how they live. That was the only time she didn't answer us directly. I figured the father of the baby who is not yet born was providing for them. But my coworker asked the right questions and we learned that my assumption was wrong. I admire the way my coworker asked tough questions in a direct, but kind way. He asked if the father of the baby is providing for the family. No, she said. He is in jail. He was abusive to me and I pressed charges.

I almost fainted. Here is a woman, 8 months pregnant with no way to provide for her family, and she has the guts to press charges against the father of the unborn child. What a strong lady. Most Honduran women don't even know that they have a right to press charges. Even if they know their rights, most will never assert them. They know too often the police don't do their job, and may even protect the offender.

My coworker and I both told her how brave she is and how much we respect what she did. But in the end our admiration doesn't put food in their bellies.

I will never forget that lady. Still, today, I find myself thinking of her often.

After we left my coworker told me that he has been wanting to talk with her for a long time because all of the neighbors have talked to him about her. They said she was being physically abused and threatened.

Seeing how tiny their home is made it more real. Her son who is now in the club told my coworker a man came every night and raped his mother. Now we know that the boy must have had to see and hear everything. How horrible. The boy said he couldn't take it any more, and one night he got up and punched the man. The man always threatened to kill the family. We are hoping it is not to late to find a better path for this young man and his family.

That afternoon another coworker and I led our club of kids for the second time. She found out just before the club started that her husband was one of the 2000 people who lost their jobs that day. He worked for the state doing traffic stuff. My other coworker's uncle as also let go after 30 years of service there. None of them will be paid and there was no advanced warning. It was very sad.

Despite the heavy weight on my coworker's shoulders, we had a great time in the club. This week we talked about dreams. Kids who live in extreme poverty never learn to dream. They believe they have no control over their future and that they will struggle to get by, just as their parents do. On Wednesday we helped them learn to dream. Many want to be teachers, doctors, or police. We talked about Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks as examples of people who dreamed of a better world and took action to make a difference.

We had to explain a lot about racial discrimination because these kids are all the same - brown. At their age I don't think they have much experience with different races. Except me. I am an oddity to them. But in a good way, because they all think it is amazing and good to speak English.

At the end of the day I was supposed to go to intercession at my church. But I got out of work late and there were protests, so I called Pastora Ruth and told her I couldn't make it. The most famous Honduran environmental activist was murdered a few weeks ago and a man related to her was killed right afterward. People were protesting that, as well as the closing of the Transit Authority. I was also driving around with a big hole in the side of my tire. All in all, it was best for me to stay home that night.

Capacitación

Tuesday I started the training to teach reading and writing in Spanish. It was very interesting. They developed a curriculum specifically for the population I will teach. It is based on phonetics, which works perfectly for the Spanish language. I learned that my boss is the person who created the program. I think it's great and can see how it should work really well. It's practical and gets straight into the things they need to know.

I almost didn't receive the training Tuesday because some man, a head honcho I am sure, was in town from Sweden. I think he used to be my boss's boss when she worked developing this curriculum. He came into the room where I was learning and said that he had heard all about me. He said that really it would be best if people from within the community are the ones to give this class because missionaries always burn out and leave the people hanging. He said that happens all of the time in the jail communities they serve, so they started training the inmates instead of sending someone in from the outside. I am sure he is right, but it wasn't too encouraging.

I left the training with all of the materials and resources I need to start the class. If I have any questions the people who taught me are really sweet and will help in any way they can. I feel confident I am set up for success as a teacher of reading and writing in Spanish. I was wishing the class could start right away, instead of waiting until after Semana Santa.

My mechanic and I spent the afternoon looking for tires for my truck. Half of Honduras have the same exact vehicle, but my mechanic spent all day Monday and we spent half of Tuesday looking for tires. They don't seem to exist here.

I ended up buying a different size than the manufacturer's specs. But the mechanic said they would work. They didn't have them in stock, but I got a good price ($300 for all four instead of $500-600 which is what we had seen at all of the other shops). Friday I went back and got them put on the truck.

I asked Fany on Friday morning if she thought the tire shop would be packed with people buying tires for their Semana Santa trips. She laughed and said, "No Mary Lynn. Nobody here thinks about their tires until they are on the side of the road with a flat." She was right. There was no line at the tire shop.

Tuesday afternoon I found the banana bread lady. I asked how her father is doing. She said she missed four days of work, but it was not because of her father. It was because her 16 year old daughter keeps passing out every day at school. She took her daughter to the hospital and they said she needs to see a specialist. There is nothing they can do without the specialist. However, there are no appointments with the specialist until July!

I asked if she considered going to a different hospital. She said yes, she would go on Friday to a different hospital because her daughter is passing out every single day. She believes and was told it is something neurological. I told her I would pray. The girl's name is Gisell.

Monday

My internet has been down and I have not been home for them to come fix it. So I was unable to post from my computer this week.

Monday my coworker and I climbed to the top of Villa Nueva, then went over the back of the mountain to find a tiny spot hidden away from the rest of the world. That is where my boss wants me to teach reading and writing.

My coworker believed there was really only one person interested in the class. She had raised the idea several times but people always had excuses for why they couldn't attend the class. We expected the trip was a formality in order for our boss to realize her idea wasn't going to work.

Here are two photos from the top of the mountain. One is looking backward, toward Los Pinos. The second is a photo of what I saw when I got to the top and looked over the other side. It was quite surprising!

Looking back

Looking ahead

There are only about 8 houses back here. Until very recently they didn't have electricity. They still don't have running water.

The first house we visited started out just as expected. The lady said she could never learn because she banged her head and can't retain anything. I told her there is no pressure. We just wanted to give her the opportunity, but if she didn't want to that's fine. Then her daughter poked her head out. She didn't seem interested either. Nobody in the house (nobody I talked to all day) had finished first grade.

This lady said she bumped her head and can't learn
You can see her house is very humble

The woman said she wished her son would come home because she would like him to study. But he was out running errands and she had no idea when he'd get back. I told her if God wanted her son to be in the class, he would get home before we left. A couple minutes later everyone looked behind me with excitement. Her son walked in the door!

She took him into the house and talked to him. He came out looked at me. He is very timid and a little slow intellectually. I asked if he would like to learn to read and write. He said yes quietly but eagerly, with a gleam of excitement in his eyes. It was clear the desire was there.

That was a pivotal moment for me. That gleam in his eye changed everything. There were people who wanted to learn! He was clearly one. And from that moment on I became eager to teach him.

I thought back to what my boss had said. We needed at least 5 people in order to justify me climbing the mountain and teaching the class. When I first climbed the mountain, if I am honest, I have to say I was hoping we would not get five people to commit. I know another community that is more accessible and has more people who have asked for someone to teach them to read and write. I really wanted to teach them. But after seeing the look in that boy's eye, my attitude changed. Even though he was only one person, I wanted to make sure he had an opportunity to learn.

As we all celebrated the fact that God had brought Luis home in time to sign up, his sisters started to get excited too. By the time we left the house, the two sisters were on the list. My coworker had them make a commitment to God that they would attend 12 classes. The mother made a commitment to God that she would make sure they went.

My first students:

The second house we visited was a 58 year old lady who is one of the founders of the community. She gave the land to our project for our gathering spot.

This is where the classes will be held. It's a very peaceful setting.

She initially said she didn't want to attend the class. Everyone has an excuse. Her's was that her left forearm was injured. When my coworker pointed out that the lady is right handed she still wasn't interested. Once again, I told her we were not there to pressure her. In fact we only want people who are truly motivated on their own. If this class didn't interest her, that is fine.

We were about to leave when suddenly her facial expression changed. I think it had to be God, because she didn't respond to any of our words. She wouldn't even open the gate and let us in. But after her facial expression changed she asked me to sign her up. So I did! She said she will make a commitment to attend 12 classes, and we will reassess at that point.

Then we found a lady with a small child. She said she has to work and can't get home in time for the class. But in the end she too decided that she could get home by the time the class starts. So she asked me to sign her up. She said she will be really happy to sign her name on her checks. She is afraid that someone could steal her pay as long as she is signing with a thumb print. (Remember none of these people can write their full name. A few can write their first name. Most sign with a thumb print.)

Then we climbed up a steep, skinny trail to houses built on top of a huge rock. There we were not well received. We climbed through a barbed wire fence to a house of two ladies and a young girl. One lady said that she would like to attend. She had her hair wrapped in mud or kind of wet muddy mixture. I think it must have been a lice treatment. I'm not sure. The dirty stuff kept falling into her face, but she acted like it wasn't there, so I did too.

On our way out we signed up a 15 year old girl with a baby. She wasn't going to attend because her family was very negative about it. But then she heard that the young boy and his sisters signed up. She is a good buddy of one of the sisters. So she decided she wants to take the class too.

She lives in a place that has mud blocks about chest high. What is finished so far is very nice. It was a new experience for me to see someone living in a house with no roof and only half of the walls.

By the time we left we were surprised. Seven people were on our list! Since then, the lady with the headwrap got a job. So I think we will only have six. Four are teens and two are older ladies.

This week is Semana Santa (Holy Week). In Honduras the whole world travels for Holy Week and everything is closed. Even the hospitals barely have staff. I have put a ton of money into my car and it seems never ending, so I will not be traveling this week.

Next week the reading and writing class will begin. We are all very excited!

Erika's New Relationship

I forgot to share something really important in the earlier post! Like, REALLY important!!

It appears God has done some major work in Erika since the last time I saw her. Erika has suddenly developed a relationship with God!

I noticed it first in her conversation. She referred to God several times more than usual.

(Many Hondurans refer to God, but often it's just a manner of speech without significance. That's what Erika has always done. If you ask how she is she always responds "Good, thanks to God." If you say I'll see you tomorrow people commonly answer, "God willing." It's just what you are supposed to say here.)

Today Erika said she is going to an overnight vigil Friday, and she just went to one last week. Erika never went to vigils before.

As soon as she got me alone, she was really excited to share a story with me. She said the church was teaching about spiritual gifts. Erika said wasn't sure what gifts God has given her. She believed she had none. But the person teaching said that she should pray and ask God what are her gifts. At the time, Erika wasn't hopeful.

Then Saturday, a rim from a car tire (which was inside her parents' house for some reason) fell on Marjory's foot. It was a pretty bad injury.

Erika said that night she put her hand on Marjory's foot and prayed. She said she declared that it would be healed by morning. It was!

That made Erika realize she had also prayed over her boyfriend's ankle, and God healed that as well. The next morning he walked like nothing ever happened.

Erika said when she realized she does have a gift - the gift of healing - it brought her to tears. Her boyfriend came home to find her crying. When he asked why she told him she was very grateful to be blessed with the gift of healing.

He laughed and told her, "So, you're not going to church just to show your face any more?"

Erika admitted that in the past, that's what she did. But now, she believes in God! And she knows He has given her an amazing gift.

I can't tell you how happy this makes me! This is a huge answer to prayer! Erika has a relationship with God. I also love that she is excited to share the news with me. I feel really hopeful for her future. Two babies before she reaches 18 years old is not an ideal situation. It's really tough. But Erika has made big strides. I can't wait to talk to her more about this.

Knowing

At church today the six of us who were chosen, finished a class in "co-pastoring", which basically means that we were trained to step up and help lead the church.

Pastora Ruth said that before we can move forward we need to KNOW that we were called to fulfill this role, so it would be a time of prayer.

First, Pastora Ruth talked to us about the way God called her to be a Pastora. It was insane - her path was SO SO identical to mine. The way the enemy worked against her, the way people were hurtful, the way she felt alone, but sure of God's calling. It was like hearing my own story, only with different characters. I couldn't believe it. Every word she said, I wanted to say, "That happened to me!"

At the very beginning of the class I said to myself, I know in my head that I am called to do this. God has told Pastora Ruth and Pastor Paysen that I am called to pastor people as well. (I don't mean preach, I mean care for people - however that may be.) I knew in my head that I was called. But I asked God to show me in my heart and soul that I was truly called, so I would be sure.

In the end, God spoke to me really clearly. Pastora Ruth saw it happening. She stopped the class and said, "Mary Lynn, receive what God has for you." They prayed over me for a couple of minutes.

As they prayed over me I received a word. I always receive one word and then I have to pray about that word and ask God what he is talking about. Today He gave me the word "KNOW."

So I prayed as they prayed over me and I asked God, "What? Know what? What do you want me to know?"

Turned out, He just wanted me to KNOW. To be sure, that I am called. He was telling me to KNOW it. Not to doubt, or question, or wonder, or think, but to know.

So now I know! I am called to co-pastor with Pastora Ruth and Pastor Paysen! How exciting!!

To me that means to be a support system to them, and to reach out to members of our church as I am called or assigned by them. Obviously always under their authority and with their permission.

I imagined I would be the last of my group to know. I always expect myself to be the weakest and the worst. I never imagined I'd be so confident and sure of my calling! I think I was more sure than almost everyone else. Not that that makes me better than them, it just is unusual. It tells me that I am growing and becoming more confident and relying more on my faith in God.

At noon I picked up Karla from college and we went out to lunch. We've been trying to see each other for a few weeks, but my car is always in the garage. I finally got it back last night, and have to take it back in tomorrow because I ruined a tire in Los Pinos today. But at least I got to see Karla and Erika and Kenya and Lorenzo and the new baby. That was nice!

Karla and I talked to Kenya about getting back into school and about joining Karla's group at Impacto Juvenil, the place where I serve. Kenya said she will do both. But we'll see.

Lorenzo sat playing with the calculator on my phone. I asked him what 6 plus 9 is. He didn't know. He figured out how to type it into the calculator with some help. He doesn't know how to write numbers in the hundreds. He's eleven years old. Poor, sweet, sweet boy. He says he wants to be a police man.

Erika's baby has a ton of hair! Erika is funny. I like being around her in that setting - with her sister and Karla. Erika is more relaxed and I can see more of the real Erika.

As I dropped them off at home with a loaf of homemade banana bread, she said her mother wanted to know if I had any toothbrushes for the boys. A year ago I gave them toothbrushes because Erika saw that I had a couple and told me that nobody in her family had one. I'm guessing those are pretty beaten up by now.

Karla is doing really well, although she says that it is getting harder to live without her mother, not easier. She says she keeps waiting for the day that it doesn't get harder. But she misses talking with her mom about everything. She misses having someone ask where she is going and what time she will be home. She misses her mother's smile and the way her mother drove her nuts teasing her. But she doesn't stay sad long. She says she has a lot of support from her family. Uncles are making sure they have everything they need. There was food in the fridge. (I checked.)

I told her anytime she needs to talk, I am here. She said she appreciates that because she knows I will listen without judging. She gave Erika and Kenya a HUGE, HUGE box of clothes. It was so heavy, they could barely get it down Karla's steep steps. We loaded it into my truck and drove it to their house. Their father had to come and help carry it from the car down the goat path to their house.

I told them now all of Los Pinos will be talking about me giving them clothes, which is not a good thing. But I couldn't deny them a ride home. Now if they only had toothbrushes.

Gabriela Stephany

Check out that hair!

Have you seen the Banana Bread Man?

I was just sitting here chatting with Karla and Erika via messages and watching some garbage on Lifetime when a cool ad caught my eye. It was in Spanish about saying NO to corruption.

I thought, "Wow! That's cool!" It was really well done. At the end the logo for the place where I serve flashed across the screen! It was done by the people I work with!

Last week I was driving on the main highway (El Anillo) when I noticed two huge billboards also against corruption which my organization did. I'll take a photo of the billboards this week.

Today I got my car back again. I hope this will hold up for a while.

I made three loaves of banana bread and tried to deliver one loaf to the lady who gave me all of the free bananas, but she wasn't there. All of the other vendors are as concerned as I am. She and her father work there every day. I am afraid her father may have died. He's been sick a lot, but she still works if he's sick. So, if neither of them are there on a busy Saturday we have reason to be concerned.

I hope they are busy celebrating some positive event.

Lately I've noticed that people I always thought would be part of my life are fading away. I feel like I am doing my best to maintain contact. At one point I thought maybe I was sending too many emails, so I've cut back to when exciting things happen. But it seems like only a couple of people still really care about what and how I'm doing. It's disappointing. But I guess it's a fact of life.

I am trying to focus on being grateful for the people who DO maintain contact despite their busy lives. If you are reading this, then you are certainly one of those people, so thank you. I am grateful for you and thankful that you are in my life!

Free Banana Bread

Yesterday afternoon I learned that today's workshop was cancelled and was able to set up a vet appointment. Since Jetty has been drinking more frequently and longer, eating more, and losing weight, I have been worried about diabetes or kidney failure. When she went to the vet Tuesday, he thought the same and wanted blood tests.

He thought he would have to use anesthesia to draw blood. I asked him to please try without anesthesia. He did it and never even shaved a patch of fur. Not sure how he pulled that one off. Honduran cat owners don't like their cats shaved, so he has figured out a way to find a vein through the fur.

This morning as I dropped Jetty off and was walking out of the vet's office, I had the worst feeling. I thought maybe it was the last time I would see her without the heavy burden of knowing she was seriously ill.

When I got home I walked in the door. It struck me that she wasn't here to meet me. She always runs to the door. I was scared this lonely feeling might be my new reality soon.

A couple of hours later, I got the call that I could pick her up. The doctor didn't need to use anesthesia. He came out into the waiting room to get me. Normally an assistant brings me in, so I assumed something was wrong when I saw him.

He said good morning and I couldn't speak to respond. He looked at my face and said, "Don't be scared. It's good news." I was still nervous. We went into the back and he sat down and showed me the blood work results. Everything is perfect. Jetty is turns nine years old this month. She was very sickly as a kitten. She's got messed up hips and a constant rash on her nose so the fur won't grow there. Her eyes cross in a strange way every now and then. But otherwise, she is super healthy!

I am so happy! And relieved!! I prayed and prayed about this and God answered every prayer. It seems like Jetty still has many years left with us.

My car, on the other hand, is still messed up. There's a new spot where oil has leaked onto the garage floor. The car is going back into the garage tomorrow. At least I got to use it today to get that bloodwork out of the way.

I have seen some funny things on El Anillo lately that I keep meaning to tell you about.

The first was two days ago. A man whose legs ended at his knees was riding downhill full speed in his wheelchair. He was going so fast I was amazed the wheelchair could hold up. Two tractor trailers led the long line of cars who were lined up in two lanes of traffic behind him. I am not sure how a man in a wheelchair got into that position, holding up traffic in the middle of a two lane highway. Only in Honduras.

This morning on the way home from the vet both lanes of traffic came to a stop. I looked around expecting another wheelchair. Instead, there were three horses casually wandering around on the highway. Craziness! I tried to get a photo, but my phone camera didn't work.

Tonight I invited my new North American neighbors to walk over to El Hato with me. They have never been there before. It was HOT out today, so we waited until 5 p.m. There was surprisingly little traffic. I showed them my cheese place, tortilla place, avocado place, banana and pineapple place, and the lady who sells me a garbage cans for my church. The lady at the avocado place had a bunch of overripe bananas. She gave me about 30 bananas for free. I told her I'll bring her some banana bread on Saturday. The other vendors are envious of the deal she has with me. We think it's a great deal for both of us - free bananas in exchange for banana bread!

Progress

We got a new logo to reflect the next evolution of our program. I wanted to share it with you since it explains a lot of what I do and how it evolved.

First we were Impacto Juvenil and we served teens. We made clubs of 25 kids, and taught them lots of good stuff. But soon we realized that no matter how much we brought to the table, it wasn't as effective if the parent weren't on board. It needed to be reinforced at home.

So Strong Families (Familias Fuertes) was born. We worked with the parents, teaching them communication skills and how to discipline with love. But the more time we spent within the families, the more we realized that many, many women were really struggling. Many were being abused.

That's how Strong Mothers (Madres Fuertes) came about.

Now that we are moving into Los Pinos with all of these programs already in place as well as other programs from other sectors of the organization, we are implementing an all inclusive program called Strong Communities (Comunidades Fuertes).

This is our new logo, which we saw for the first time today. I am so excited to be a part of this stuff!

God is Everywhere

I've got some rice on the stove and 15 minutes before I have to leave to go to prayer group at the church. But today was a great day and I can't wait to share it with you!

This morning the class was fun. At the same time as we play and have fun, they are learning accountability, empathy and communication skills. We are focusing on why they are struggling with the teacher's (authority) and what they can do differently.

I got a chance to sit down with the director and tell her the direction the class is taking. She is pleased and said I am doing exactly what she hoped for! I never knew what she hoped for so that made me feel great.

I wanted her to know that we are using real life examples of problems they are having in the classroom so they can learn how to behave differently in the future in order to avoid problems. I assured her that there will be no teacher bashing and if she hears differently she should let me know so we can talk directly to the students. We both are aware that the kids could use this to try to manipulate teachers, so it is good that we are on the same page.

Today while we were doing something else, I overheard the kids saying our time together is their favorite class. That made me happy. It's the highlight of my week too. I never knew working with a bunch of entitled kids with conduct disorder could be so enjoyable! But God gave me a special love for those kids the first day I met them and that has not diminished. I can see the behaviors that frustrate teachers who teach them every day, but for two hours each week I love to love them.

This afternoon I got to meet my new club. Of the 25 kids, 24 are brand new, which I think is good. We can have a fresh start and they won't have expectations from years gone by.

We have a great facility! It is on top of a mountain and has a soccer field in the roof with nets all around so the ball can't fly off.

The kids were really respectful and sweet. I am impressed by their behavior and desire to be part of the club.

I also had the opportunity to talk to one of the psychologists who did our surveys in Los Pinos. God orchestrated a conversation that brought me such joy and peace!

For many years my heart has been hurting for a specific boy. Turns out this psychologist is the one who interviewed him and his family to see if they would qualify for the program. All of the things that have been breaking my heart for years, all came to light in the interview! She told me she barely held back tears until she left the interview. She burst our crying once she left the house. Now he is at the top of the list to receive help.

All I could say when she told me this news, and all I can say now, is PRAISE GOD! He is beaten daily. He is starved. And now, he will finally get the help and support he needs. Praise God.

Also, without my saying anything, they are putting Lorenzo as a priority. That was awesome to hear.

I told them there are a few more kids I know who are not on the list, so they are going to take the names and go out and interview them because some of the kids in their age group didn't show up for the first day of the club. So there is space for them!

Please excuse any errors in my writing, I have to run out the door for prayer group and I am not going to proof read this. But I was exploding with joy and good news, so I thought you'd want to know! I have a lot to be thankful for in our time of intercession tonight!!

Dinner with new friends

A few weeks ago as Ana's family and I were unloading ourselves from my car, I noticed a white couple walking by, pushing a stroller. Because I normally never see white people, especially white people I don't know, I got all excited and stopped them. We talked a little and then they went on their way.

A couple of days ago I got a message on Facebook from someone I thought I didn't know inviting me to dinner. After checking out her Facebook page, I recognized the baby and realized it people who live in the same colonia as I do.

Fany thought I was nuts. She asked, "You met them on the street and you're going to their house for dinner?" Okay, she's right, it is a little odd. But we North Americans band together. I explained that although I don't know them, I do know many of their friends and Pastor Paysen knows them so it will be okay.

Tonight was our dinner. It was nice! They walk every evening with the baby in a stroller, so they walked over to my house and then we all walked back to their house. We had really good fajitas and a dump cake for dessert. That was very North American of us. Hondurans never, ever have dessert.

They are a super sweet couple who came here as teachers and a bilingual school. Their baby was even born here! I told his mother that she is extremely brave, to give birth in Honduras. I know Honduran women who go to the US to give birth, and it's not because they want citizenship, it's because the hospitals here can be so scary. They were blessed with a doctor who made them feel very comfortable, even through an emergency c-section.

He is finishing an internship in ministry. I could see how he will be a good pastor from his mannerisms. She used to teach, but now keeps busy at the church where her husband is interning. And she seems to love being a Mom.

I noticed she and I have some things in common, like cooking and a preference for natural remedies that I would have like to explore further with her. I hope I get my butt in gear and invite them over for dinner one night. Part of me would like to get to know them more, but I also know they are moving back to the US soon and I hate goodbyes.

At the very least, it was a delicious dinner with nice company for tonight.

This afternoon I took Jetty to the vet. It was supposed to be for her anti-parasite meds, but the doctor is concerned Jetty might have diabetes or kidney failure. She has an insatiable thirst and eats a lot yet has lost weight, which is especially odd because she has always been on the heftier side.

The doctor said from palpitating her stomach, everything seems fine, but he wants to do bloodwork. I am going to take time and pray. I would be very, very sad if something is wrong with Jetty. Honduran people don't understand it, but she is my main companion.

Jetty

Budgeting Time

Finally got my schedule arranged today. It's a busy one!

Monday is office day. We have the 8 a.m. devotional and then organize for the week to come. In the afternoon I normally have time to do grocery shopping but today it is finally raining! It started last night and then rained again this afternoon when Fany and I were ready to leave for the market. We decided we can go without fresh fruit this week. In the future I will do home visits with one of my coworkers. It's a rule that we can't go alone, so I will accompany her to her home visits and she will accompany me to mine.

Tuesday is my free day. I can attend an English speaking bible study in the morning, and go to the bank (a two hour process twice/month but it's the only way to pay bills), or run errands, wash clothes and clean my house. I'll also have to prepare for the class I lead Wednesday morning, the kids' group Wednesday afternoon, and the women's class on Thursday. Tuesday will be one of my busiest days, now that I think about it.

Wednesday is a twelve hour day. I'll leave the house at 7 a.m. and get home at 8 pm. First I'll fight traffic to get to the class I am leading for kids with Conduct Disorder and Asperger's. That is the highlight of my week right now. (The class, not the fighting traffic.) I knew teaching social skills and impulse control would be challenging, but I never expect it to be so fun! I love it.

After that class I drive to my office where security will take me to my club of kids in one of the communities we serve. I've never done this before. Wednesday will be my first day, but it is a weekly activity from now on. We arrive at 1 p.m. and prepare the classroom. The kids come at two and the club lasts until four. We have already prepared lesson plans, so it will be a matter of reviewing and implementing them each week.

After the club ends at 4, security will pick me up by 4:30 and I will try to get to prayer group at the church by five. When prayer group ends at 7 pm, I will be tired, but happy.

Thursdays I am giving classes to women who want to learn to read and write. One of my coworkers has to accompany me in this because it is not safe for me to walk up to the classroom alone.

Friday I will do my own home visits for the families of my club. There are 25 families, so we are hoping to do at least 6 visits each Friday.

Saturdays will be set aside for church meetings and visits with Erika, Ana and her family, or Karla in Los Pinos.

Sundays we have discipleship and church.

I am going to have to be more diligent about how I spend my time. Maybe I'll take Erika with me on some of the errands I have to run on Tuesdays. At least that would give us some time together.

This week on Saturday Erika wants me to take pictures of her new baby and print them out. She already has photos I took of Marjory as a baby. She wants to frame them side by side because she says they look just alike. So that is how we will spend this Saturday.

I used to keep things programed into my phone, but this week I started using a planner again.

Next week on Monday we sign up the ladies for writing class. We are going to walk door to door and see who is really interested and committed to attend, Tuesday I will start my own training to learn how to teach the class. Thursday is my first day of teaching women how to read.

It sounds like a lot, all written down here, but I feel comfortable. I have a feeling my boss is going to ask me to start a second class for reading and writing in a different community. I will have to say no to that. There is simply not enough time in the week. But for now this seems manageable.

I am excited that God is using me in lots of ways these days. It will be interesting to see what comes out of all of these projects. I feel blessed to work in a place that offers me so many opportunities to serve, and even trains me in the areas where I need additional strength.

The sun just came out! Maybe I'll have time to buy some veggies for the week after all.

Side by Side

Ahhhhhhhh! I can't ever remember being this excited to share something with you!

This afternoon Ana called me. She has never called me before. Normally she never has the money to call.

I declined the call and called her back on my dime. She said she has been dying to talk to me. I told her I have been without my car, and I didn't want to make plans with her while everything is so up in the air with my car. I know the kids would be disappointed if I made plans and had to cancel.

Ana said she was calling to say that we are now co-workers!

Ana was hired by the organization I serve to make snacks for all of the clubs in Los Pinos!! This means she has to make snacks for 27 people three times each week. She gets paid for each club, but has to buy the food from that money. She is going to buy plastic cups and plates because she can already see how much she will spend on disposables.

The cool thing is that a few weeks ago I wrote here about meeting a woman who is a friend of Ana's and sells PLASTICS in the street. I bought a garbage can from her. When I went to pick it up Ana and her family were with me. This woman gave Ana a ride to the hospital when Ana was giving birth to her first child. They hadn't seen each other in 14 years but were excited to reconnect. So Ana already has that connection.

I can see God's hand in every detail of this.

Last week on Monday everyone was talking about someone named Karla who is also working with us in Los Pinos. I asked friends in Los Pinos who they were talking about and everyone said it is my Karla, the one I have been talking to every day lately. But I kept thinking no, she is too busy! Turns out, I was wrong! Karla is busy, but she heard about the opportunity to serve the kids of Los Pinos and said yes, she would do it!

Ana told me that today is the first day they met. They have almost 75 kid already signed up. A few couldn't attend today because they were in classes. But normally they will not meet on Saturdays, so they will be able to attend in the future.

I asked Ana who is working there. She said one person from my office, plus Luis, Karla and Don Juan! I said Karla? She said Yes, The Karla of Clara!

So, I am now a co-worker of Karla, Luis and Ana! And Ana now has a paying job!!! It doesn't pay much, but it is a little weekly income that she can count on. The others are volunteers, like me.

I am about to explode I am so excited with the way my life is coming full circle. If God had asked me to choose, I would have chosen these people to serve the kids of Los Pinos.

Karla is wondering how she will have time to prepare for her club. I told her we can prepare together if it would be helpful.

Today I am giving thanks to our God, who sees every single detail of our lives. He wants to meet our every need. I feel so fulfilled as I begin to serve again with Ana, Luis and Karla. I will be in a different community, but we are part of the same team. Together we will strive for excellence in serving the most impoverished, dangerous communities of Honduras. What a tremendous blessing - to serve the people I love, side by side with people I love! I can't imagine anything better! God is so good!

No Car

Still no car. Mechanic can't figure out why the back end sounds like it's going to fall off every time I pass over a speed bump. It won't make the noise for him.

But he says he's fixed the noise in the front.

I had to cancel my time with Erika and Karla. Hope to catch up with them tomorrow, if I get the car back.

No car, no light

Today I was without a car and without electricity all day. The guy I scolded for making kissing noises at me on the street the other day is one of MANY working on the power lines along the main highway by my house. They are taking out the wooden poles and putting in cement poles, which is good because the power lines here hold an insane amount of cables.

So that is why we were without power all day. Fany got out a tiny grill and cooked us a full dinner of fish, broccoli, rice and veggies. We felt blessed to be eating so well when nobody else had power.

Laura is changing every day. She is much more outgoing. She skips instead of walking. The volume of her voice is enough to break your eardrums and when she is not talking she is singing. She is bursting with joy and excitement because she is so happy to finally be in school. She's wanted to go since she was 2 & 1/2.

The bus comes at 7:30. At 6:45 she starts telling her mom that the bus is late. She likes to be one of the first to arrive.

Every day she comes home with stories about Josef, the class troublemaker. Yesterday was the first day he didn't have to sit with both hands up in the air as a consequence for negative behavior. And of course there is Angel, a boy who has buddied up with Josef and gets into trouble too. There is one boy who cries a lot. His parent live in about four hours away in a different state. He moved in with his Grandfather in order to attend school. Laura used to look down on him for crying, but I talked to her about how sad she would feel if she couldn't see her Mamí or her Papí at all. Now she is more sympathetic.

I didn't hear from the mechanic until after 5 pm today. I originally took the car in weeks ago because it needed an oil change and was making a funny noise. Now I have new brakes and new parts on my suspension (struts, I think?), but it still makes a noise. It took him all day to figure out what is making the noise. My gut says he is still off, but he is the best mechanic there is, and sometimes it's hard to figure these things out. I hope he's right. He said he can buy the part tomorrow and get the car back to me by mid-day. I hope so! I have plans with Erika and Karla tomorrow. And I am a little stir crazy after spending the whole day with no lights and no car. I got a lot of reading done, cleaned the house and watched a movie on my computer.

Last night we got a little bit of really loud thunder. Fany and I were hopeful it would rain. It hasn't rained in months. But the rain never passed over us.

Fany spent the day today washing clothes by hand. She says she likes to do it that way. I think she's nuts. It is good exercise and both of our washers are on their last leg, so she's probably prolonging the life of her washer. She's been struggling with her fibromyalgia lately. The way she handles it is to stay really busy. Every single crevice of her house is spotlessly clean right now. It's normally really clean, but today she did things like pull out the stove and clean under the burners. She says if she sits down she'll sleep and never want to get up. Fibromyalgia is tough, but Fany is tougher.

Parenting is a verb folks

This was supposed to be a happy, cheerful post about how fun the past couple of days have been. They have really been fun! Yesterday was my day to prep for classes. At 8 p.m. my boss sent a text asking if I knew that the school where I lead classes for kids with conduct disorder and Asperger's is on spring break.

I didn't know. In fact there was banana bread in the oven which I baked for them. At least she told me last night so I didn't fight through traffic this morning only to find the school empty.

Yesterday I made a homemade pizza with Honduran cheese, tomatoes and onion. Honduran pizza normally is topped with ham, sausage and pepperoni. Meat, meat and more meat. The people here like their meat. Luckily Fany and I both like veggies. Fany, Laura and I enjoyed the pizza. It was relaxing to make a nice meal for us all to enjoy.

Yesterday when Fany and I walked to the market a lady gave me a ton of old bananas for free so I decided to make banana bread. I put a big piece in Laura's lunchbox for school today with a Napkin Note.

A man who was a grade ahead of me in school has now done a book and is making a movie about connecting with your kids by putting notes on their napkins when you send a packed lunch. Since Fany packs a snack every day for Laura, I thought this could be a good tradition to start.

Laura didn't seem to excited about the napkin note and she didn't eat any of her snack today. But I am going to send another note tomorrow and let her mother take it from there.

Yesterday Laura came home singing "This is the day that the Lord has made..." She sang it all afternoon, all night and woke up this morning still singing it. So it was only fitting that we wrote those words on her napkin. I figured if I drew a picture with the arm gestures that she was doing along with the song, she would figure out what the words say. She's only four so she can't read English or Spanish.

I am accustomed to having my Spanish corrected. In fact I appreciate corrections because it's the best way for me to improve. But every day this week Laura is telling me that my English is wrong. On Monday she came home saying "umbrella". In Spanish the emphasize the first syllable so Laura was saying UM-brella. When I said it correctly she told me no, that is wrong.

I'm not sure if the teacher is saying things wrong, or if Laura still needs more practice.

Yesterday she was saying "tear-grah". I figured out that means tiger, but she told me I am saying tiger wrong too. So, I've given up trying to correct. Sometimes I'll slip the word into our conversation. Today it was the same with "thirteen" and "sixteen". I don't say those right either.

In any case she is learning a ton! It seems like she has a great school and a really nice teacher. Yesterday she came home talking about a snake and a tree in Spanish. Finally I figured out she was saying "Adam and Eve" ("Ada a Eaf"). It is interesting how much the teacher can cram into four hours of class. I'm impressed.

Today was supposed to be a really, really full day for me. In the future Wednesdays will be long. But today everything was cancelled.

Normally I will have the class for the kids in the private school every Wednesday morning. In the afternoon I will help a coworker with her club for the teens. And every Wednesday evening we have our prayer group at church.

Today the private school was on spring break, the club for teens is postponed until next week. We are still reviewing the surveys to analyse who will take the place of the kids who graduated. We don't want to start the new year without them. I was having a nice, peaceful day, eating banana bread and getting a lot of bible study done.

Then I got a horrible call from Erika which lasted until it was too late to go to my prayer group. So nothing about my day went as planned. Instead of a 12 hour work day, I only left the house to take banana bread to the lady who gave me free bananas. (She was really happy.)

Here's the reason why my joy disappeared today: Erika has a 13 year old sister named Kenya. I was worried about Kenya a month ago because she didn't have the photo she needed to go to school. She missed the first week, but I found out too late to do anything about it. When I checked in about it the next week, Kenya was in school.

Today Erika told me that her brothers don't have the books they need to study and her mother wants to know if I will buy them. I asked how Kenya is doing, figuring she needed more stuff than her younger brothers. Erika said her mother sent Kenya to live with her grandmother. That worried me because that is exactly what happened when Erika got pregnant.

Erika said that Kenya left home and didn't come back for three nights, so her mother kicked Kenya out. But then Kenya was at the house, so I don't know how kicked out she really is. Apparently she is only sleeping at her Grandparent's house.

Then Erika said her mother wanted to know if I could pay Kenya to do odd jobs because Kenya is refusing to go to school.

That was when my heart broke.

A year ago at this time Erika was desperate to go to school. The week before Easter we tried to enroll her but her elementary school wouldn't release her paperwork for her to go to Jr High. When we finally got the paperwork the week after Easter they told us they would only take new students until Easter. We had missed the deadline by two days. So Erika had to wait until February 2016 to study.

You all know what happened next. Erika got pregnant in May and now, with two babies, no matter how much she wishes she could study, her life is on a different path. She talks about going to school when her second baby is in kindergarten, four years from now.

But Kenya doesn't have any excuses. She simply doesn't want to study. She is 13 years old and, like many other Hondurans her age, she is dropping out of school.

I told Erika very directly that no, I will not pay Kenya to do anything for me. I said I will do what I can if she is doing her part by going to school. But if Kenya is choosing to throw her life in the garbage by not going to school, I can't save her. Harsh, I know, but the message was intended more for Erika's Mother than for Erika. Erika knows that. She is always the message bearer.

Then I asked to talk to Kenya. I started out gently but eventually I talked to her in a straightforward way, although not as strongly as I had worded it when I talked to Erika. Kenya just giggled and said she doesn't want to go to school anymore. She said it's too hard to explain why. I said nobody wants to study. Nobody wants to go to school. I sure didn't want to. But we have to in order to have a decent life!

Then the battery on her phone died.

I went over to Fany's house very upset. I told Fany that I am so sick of parents who let kids do whatever they want to do! Nobody makes their kids eat their vegetables, take a bath, go to school - it doesn't matter if the kid is two years old or 13 like Kenya. Once a child is old enough to say, "I don't want to," the parent is no longer in control.

A five year old doesn't want to eat food. He only wants cookies and chips. So he is scrawny and skinny. His mother is worried about his health. But she keeps giving him cookies and chips. Then she asks me to buy him vitamins. She doesn't consider making him eat table food. Why? Because he doesn't want to.

Another mother tells her three year old, "It's time to take a bath." As soon as the girl whines, "I don't want to," the mother walks away, defeated.

In Honduras the magic words are not "please" or "thank you". Here the magic words are "I don't want to." I see it in households of poverty right up to the more educated families. And I see the way it is hurting the children.

If I said, "I don't want to," to my mother I know exactly how she would respond. She would say, "I don't care what you want. You will do as I say."

I'm pretty sure my heart hurts more than anyone else's about Kenya dropping out of school at 13. Maybe her parents' hearts hurt, but I'm not sure.

So, that is why my joy is gone.

I told Fany, sometimes I wonder why I am a missionary in a country where people don't want to help themselves. Fany told me that people have grown accustomed to getting free handouts and it has ruined the society. Nobody wants to work to earn anything. She said even if they have a job, people don't see a need to do their best and earn their salary or position.

I know that is not 100% true. There are people out there like Don Juan, the guard at the church where I used to serve. He did all of his job requirements and much, much more. My previous landlords were also very hard workers who were strict with their children. But I see them as the minority and I am very, very worried for this place.

How am I supposed to help people who don't have hope for the future? Who don't believe they can have a better life?

And why did God send me to a place where everyone likes so much meat? (Haha. That was supposed to lighten things up.)

I want vegetables and kids whose parents will stand up and parent. Parenting is a verb too folks!

I don't mean to be negative. The strange thing about being a blogger is, my most negative blogs are the ones that get the most hits. I bet this one will have double the readers of my normal, everyday blogs. Do people like negativity? I hope not. I hate to share it.

However, this is what is going on in my life in Honduras today. So this is what I am writing about. It has actually been building up for a while and I feel very passionate about it. I think this thing with Kenya brought it all to a head.

Kenya said she is babysitting tomorrow (and my car is in the shop anyway) so I am going to see her at noon on Friday. I don't know what exactly I can do. But at the very least I want to talk to her and make sure she understands the gravity of the choice she is making right now. Since it is still before Easter, I am praying she will choose to go back to school before she throws away a year of her life.

After meeting with Kenya on Friday, Clara's daughter, Karla, and I are having lunch together. Praise God for Karla. She gives me hope for the future of this country. She is going to college, teaching kindergarten, and trying to start her own business. She is a light and an example.