A full heart and a smile

Today was the sort of day that reminds me I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  I am fortunate, because in Honduras I have these days often.  But this is my first since returning from vacation so it feels extra nice.  Sometimes I forget how it is to feel this good.  And I feel bad for those who never get  to feel this way.  Nothing extraordinary happened today.  Jasmin still has not been found.  That is always on my mind.  But I lived today with intention and enjoyed simple moments consciously.  I think that is why I came home with a full heart and a smile.

Actually this day did not have a great start.  I woke to the sound of my cat vomiting.  As I gained consciousness I immediately hoped she was not vomiting on the bed.  I looked down and thought, "Phew!"  She was not vomiting on the bed.  But my relief vanished quickly as I oriented myself enough to realize that she was vomiting on my computer.  In the end no harm done.  Just an early (5 a.m.) wake up call.  I cleaned up and realized it was still dark.  The sun used to rise at 4:45 before I left for vacation in June.  Now it rises at 5:15 a.m. and sets at 6:15 p.m., so I get an extra half hour of daylight every evening.  I appreciate that extra time for errands or if I want to go for a run.

I fell back asleep eventually and had a funny (funny ha-ha) dream about my best friend from high school.  Waking up from that dream was a better way to start the day.

Jairo came and picked me up with no Lourdes.  She is sick at home with a bad migraine.  It was Marlin and me running the breakfast program alone.  There were a lot of kids.  Over 60.  I don't know because I didn't have time to count.  They prayed very well.  I asked the preschoolers to line up to wash their hands.  Then I asked anyone 6 years old or younger to wash their hands.  Suddenly there was massive pushing and shoving and by the time I could regain control most of the group was in line.  Marlin came out of the kitchen and we had everyone over 6 sit back down.  We fed the younger ones before they were trampled to death  (JUST KIDDING!!).  Then we had the older kids line up.  There was still a lot of pushing and shoving.  We have many new kids attending this week because there has been no school all week.  Some are older teens who don't know the rules yet and some are very young and haven't been in an organized program before.  It is great to see new faces, but it makes things a little harder to manage.

I had a personal lesson about Mexican Spanish vs. Honduran Spanish.  I first spoke Spanish with Mexican friends.  Some of the sayings that are acceptable in Mexico are not acceptable in Honduras and visa versa.  Today a boy said a word that is the equivalent of "F you" to a Mexican person.  I told him he cannot use bad words, so he could choose to go to the end of the food line or to leave.  (He had also been pushing and shoving and has a history of poor behavior.)  The boy stood his ground and refused to budge.  Don Juan came over and stood by me and I repeated the options for him.  Finally, he went to the end of the line.  On the way home I was telling Jairo the story.  Jairo said that in Honduras what he said translates to "don't bother me" or "don't mess with me" and is very common.  I think I might start saying it now. - Just kidding. To me it still sounds ugly.  But I did feel bad for punishing the boy for something that is commonly said.  I will apologize tomorrow.

The dishes all got washed but stricter supervision was necessary.  Kids were running around barefoot, refusing to put their shoes on.  I thought it was Friday, so I kept telling the kids to put the chairs and tables away for church on Sunday.  They got most of the stuff put away before someone finally told me that today is only Thursday.  I felt dumb for the second time and asked why nobody told me it was Thursday.  The kids just laughed.

One of the newest boys, Marco

After I thought they all had left Don Juan made an urgent gesture and asked me to come.  The kids were all standing in the street outside the church.  At first glance it looked like a massive fight.  About 15 of them were screaming at each other.  Don Juan said one of them was jumping on the side of trucks and trying to hold on.  (That boy will not be allowed at the Breakfast Program tomorrow, per Jairo.)  I went outside the gates and shooed them all down the hill and onto the sidewalk.  Some were crying.  Some were refusing to walk so they were being dragged.  I have no idea what in the world was going on, but we will certainly discuss it tomorrow.  It was not safe for any of us to discuss it then.  Too many kids are hurt in that street.  Lourdes tells them every day to be careful in the street.  Today I wrapped up prayer time with a prayer that they would cross the street safely!  Tomorrow we will have yet another serious discussion.

Another new face!

The second group came later than usual.  They still have school this week and are learning to dance with a broomstick, or at least that's what they practice with when they are at the church.  Marlin and I were busy until later in the day, but during the break between groups Marlin's friend, Anna visited.  We talked and talked.  She sells barrretts, hair clips, bracelets and little trinkets.  The kids loved her stuff.  She is raising 3 boys, ages 12, 7, and 2 by herself since her husband left her for the second time.  She hopes he will return like he did last time.  She has told the kids if he comes back they are to receive him with open arms and not be angry.  I think if my husband left me with 3 kids (twice) I might be angry.  But it sure is easier for her heart if she keeps this mindset.  She said used to think bad things about herself, but after reading the bible she has a clearer mind.  She loves him, he is her husband, and she hopes he will come home.  I liked Anna.  Her kids are nice.  They may start coming to the breakfast program.  I hope so.

Moments like that - sitting and chatting with Marlin and Anna, are so much easier than they used to be. Now I can understand the majority of what is said.  When there is something I don't understand I ask, rather than just letting it all go over my head.  Before I would just be quiet and pick up bits and pieces in a conversation like that.  Now I feel like I am one of the women.  It is nice to not feel like an outsider.

Jairo was in a meeting all day with Ethel, the head of the elders.  Walter went again to get my package but they told him to come back later.  I am excited to get it!  He also went to get rope for the scratching post that Don Juan is building for my cat.  Don Juan is so excited about this scratching post.  Jairo explained that when I first asked Don Juan to build the scratching post, Don Juan didn't understand because the concept of building a toy for a cat is unknown in Honduras.  Now every day Don Juan asks me if my cat is lonely and when I will bring my cat to the church to visit.  I'm sure he still thinks I am a crazy gringa, but at least it gives him something to do when he can build toys for my cat.

Ethel, the head of the elders, asked me to show her my classroom.  I was excited but also nervous to show her.  She said it is very nice.  I felt proud and honored at the same time, but I must say it was Lourdes and some of the older girls who made the classroom the way it is.

After the kids all left, then Marlin and her friend Anna were gone and I was alone waiting for Jairo to finish his meeting.  I found Don Juan sitting in his usual spot.  I sat down with him, in his perch at the end of the buildings, looking over the city.  As storm clouds rolled in, my eyes were drawn the houses that rise up the side of the mountain across the street.  That mountain is the colony of Los Pinos.  The kids from the breakfast program come from Los Pinos.  It is so beautiful to me, I could stare at the side of that mountain for days and never get sick of it.  Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy, to see beauty in such poverty.  I don't think normal people see shacks of plywood and sheet metal as beautiful.  I wonder why I do.  Maybe it is the simplicity of it all.  At the same time that I recognize the people there live in deep poverty, I also believe that in some ways, some of the people there have more than we can imagine.  I think by cutting down to basics they might be able to focus more on God and their own heart and soul, and find true joy.  At least I hope so.  Maybe I need to think that in order to have hope for them.

We heard a person yelling and cursing in the streets.  Don Juan ran to make sure the gates were locked.  He saw it was the father of one of my favorite teenagers from the Breakfast Program.  Apparently the father is often not coherent from mental illness.  His son is always very sweet.  I asked Don Juan about several other families.  Two of the new kids who just started coming this week have a mother who is deaf and mute and a father who is never sober.  There were other similar stories.  None good.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that Don Juan got new teeth today!  When I got out of the car this morning I went to his office to say hello and he greeted me with a smile full of teeth!  I blurted out, "I like your teeth!" before I took time to consider if that was an appropriate compliment or not.  I think it was.  Six weeks ago he got all of his teeth pulled and couldn't eat anything solid for a while.  He said he has to "practice" all over again to learn to talk and to eat with his new teeth.  They sure are a mouth full.  He didn't eat any lunch.

Finally Jairo came down from his office and talked with Don Juan about how the swimming pool will be set up for baptisms this weekend.  Apparently it is a HUGE pool, about 4 feet deep.  19 people are being baptized in it Sunday!  Then Monday the kids from the Breakfast Program will be allowed to swim in it.  Jairo said it is too much water to waste if the kids don't get the chance to swim in it for a day or two :)  I bet most of them never get to swim.  There is a stream that runs through Los Pinos, but it is the most filthy thing I have ever seen, filled with all kinds of garbage.  Monday will be interesting.  I'll take photos.  I must admit I am not looking forward to it because I worry it is going to be out of control, but I have to change my thinking and understand that this is a fun, new opportunity for the kids.

Today when things got challenging I kept reminding myself that this program is for fun, socialization and learning.  70 kids are not going to be perfectly behaved.  This is a learning experience for me too - in patience and not to take things too seriously.  I am trying to be aware of areas where I have some room to grow.  I am comfortable working within rules and structure.  For those of you who don't know me personally, I'm not a control freak, I swear.  I am big on safety though and I feel responsible for these kids.  I've found that hugs and smiles help a lot, so you'll see me hugging and smiling more when I am stressed or feel that things are out of control.  It worked today.  Things were hectic, but everyone had a good time, they had time with God, they all got fed, and nobody was hurt.  To me that makes it a good  day.

On the way home Jairo told me a story.  It is about the difference between cats and dogs.  He said, "Dogs will look at you and say, 'Look at how she treats me.  She feeds me.  She plays catch with me.  She takes me for a walk.  She shows me love.  She is God.'"  Then he said, "Cats will look at you and say, 'Look at how she treats me.  She feeds me.  She builds me a scratching post and gives me special toys.  She loves me.  I am God.'"  Jairo said this comparison can be used for people too.  Just a thought -


I hope you end your day with a full heart and a smile.  : )

First Day of Classes

I woke up to many emails, all asking for good news regarding Jasmin's disappearance.  Unfortunately, I still have no good news to report.  Jasmin is 11 years old.  She attends the Breakfast Program regularly.  She is also learning disabled.  Yesterday we were at the church until after 8 pm.  Just as we were preparing to leave Jairo said that there were parents outside the gates asking for their daughter.  Lourdes, Jairo and I went out to talk to them.  At first we were not sure who they were asking for.  She is a girl who is not well socialized.  We have to be sure that she sits with others for meals.  Sometimes the other kids don't want to play with her, but sometimes she can be very rough with them.  I have written about her before.  A long time ago I had to ask her not to play Foosball anymore for that day because she kept hitting other kids.  She got mad and left.  I felt bad.

Anyway, yesterday she told her family she was going to school, which is odd, because the kids haven't had school all week (which is not odd - school is often cancelled for no apparent reason).  So she left for school.  Whether she really believed she had school or not, we don't know.  Some people said they saw her get on a bus, others saw her in the area where buses stop.  We don't know if she really got on a bus or not.  It rained really hard right when it gets dark at about 6 pm, for almost a half hour.  I would have expected her home then.  Her family was searching with flashlights.  We could only say that she did not attend the breakfast program Monday or Tuesday.  I took this photo of her Friday:

Jasmin dressed in traditional garb for Indian Day.

We are all praying for her and hoping that she might be with some extended family, but kidnapping is so rampant here, we are very anxious for her to return home.

I have been enjoying singing from the Catholic Church across the street since Saturday.  Crowds of people have been there every day.  I was thinking Sunday was some sort of special Catholic holiday.  Monday the crowds were also accompanied by police.  Today I learned that two people in my neighborhood died and the celebrations were funerals.  They sang all through the nights.  Even at this moment I can hear them singing.  One cool thing is that the church opens its' doors to people in the neighborhood no matter their denomination.  The choir must be exhausted.  I have not heard them take a break since Saturday and today is Wednesday.  People filled the enormous church and overflowed onto the lawn and down the hill.  One person was 28.  He borrowed his parents car and was found shot in the chest, far away.  He has no history of gang or drug involvement.  The other boy was 21.  He had a strange rash and was vomiting.  His boss told him to go home from work and go to the doctor.  He could not afford a doctor and died a week later.  I hope my rashes don't ever come back.  I'll be paranoid!  So, while for me the music has been a beautiful backdrop, the people of my neighborhood are in mourning.

Waiting with anticipation for the first day of classes!

On a happier note, today was the first day of classes for preschool.  I told Lourdes I was nervous so she said she will run classes today and show me how it is done.  We worked in the classroom last night while Jairo gave a class for those being baptized this week at church.  (There were either 13 or 18 at the class!! - I forgot which.)  We prepared a lesson about the number one and saying "Gracias"  (Thank you).  It was awesome!  The kids walked with their arms on each other's shoulders from the church to the classroom.  Then the door was locked and Don Juan had gone to the store to buy bread, so we had no keys to get inside.  I took the kids for a walk while we waited for Don Juan to get back.  (He has all the basic structure for my cat's scratching post done.)

Praying before class

Saying "Gracias" (Thank you)

We sat on the floor with legs and arms crossed and prayed, then read a book about saying thank you.  Moms say thank you when you help with laundry.  Dads say thank you when you help bake a cake.  Sisters say thank you when you button their sweater...

Practicing Numbero Uno - Number One

We also learned the number one.  We made a project and hung it from the ceiling.  By that time everyone else was leaving, but we still had to eat breakfast!  So we ate our oatmeal and cookie, then they brushed their teeth, took their vitamin, said thank you and left.  We had 2 new kids who came for the program today.  Word must have spread that we are doing a preschool!  One family was even there to take pictures of the kids going into the classroom.  I was glad I had decorated the door.

Waiting with anticipation at the door the their new classroom!

All in all I would say it was very successful.  Since we didn't have time to play with any of the toys today, Lourdes told them they can play with toys tomorrow.  I think I am going to really like working with these kids.  I only wish I knew more nursery rhymes and children's songs in Spanish.

We made a list of all of the things we need for the classroom:

Whiteboard Erasable Markers

Erasers

Pencils for small hands

Scotch and Masking Tape

Regular gGlue and Glue Sticks

Construction Paper

Markers - pointed and wide

Whiteboard eraser

Coloring books for preschoolers (with Christian themes if possible)

Kleenex

Hand Sanitizer

Clorox Wipes

Copy Paper

Lined paper with dashes for practicing upper and lower case letters

Workbooks for preschoolers

Cornstarch and Cream of Tartar to make our own play dough and finger paints

Puzzles or Board Games for preschoolers

Stickers for rewards

YOUR IDEAS!  (I am not a teacher and could use all the help I can get with creative, fun ideas.)

If you can help out with donations for any of these things, you can make a donation at the following link.  Just let me know what you would like to buy and I will use your donation to get that item.

I am also still $153 short for my personal funding.  Please consider sponsoring me with a monthly donation.

Either donation can be made at:

www.WorldOutreach.org/donations

Email me at MLFager@hotmail.com if you have a specific idea about how you would like your donation to be used.

Thank you for your support in prayer, finances and kind words.  I really appreciate it all!

Tamales and New Classroom

Today we had traditional tamales for the breakfast program.  But the food was the only tradition we kept.  We fed the kids four at a time and there were more than 60 today.  (Once again school was cancelled.  I'm not sure why.)

200 Homemade Tamales

Beautiful Girls with Popsicles

The reason we only ate four at a time is because Lourdes asked each of the kids to put themselves in the shoes of a family from K2.  The mother of this family recently passed.   The kids put themselves in the shoes of each child and the father of the family.  They dictated special messages to us which we will forward to the family.  It took hours, but they were patient.

Some waited more patiently than others

When they finished giving their message, they washed their hands, then sat and we served them in their seats.  We prayed with each group individually before they ate.

Here are some of the kids who will be in my preschool class

Have you ever seen so many kids on one swing set?

Afterward, Lourdes and some of the older girls helped me set up my classroom.  I have had a headache since Sunday.  Setting up the classroom was overwhelming and did NOT help my headache.  I can't imagine being a preschooler in that classroom.  There are so many toys and fun things to do I think I would be constantly distracted.  I expected to have the opposite problem, but we will not lack for things to do.  I tried to arrange things so that one side of the room can be for learning and one side for playing.  We'll see how that goes.

The Playing Side!

The Learning Side!

Tomorrow will be the first day of classes.  The kids are excited.  They are all hoping they will be young enough to come to my class, even though Lourdes has told them repeatedly only preschoolers will go.  I think we will just work on names.  Since there has been no school this week we are seeing kids who don't normally come to the breakfast program.  If we make names and place them at seats on the table, then the kids will have a place of their own.  Also I will be able to see if they know any letters or how to hold a crayon and have a better idea of where to start.

I feel intimidated because the two people who have done this before me were really good.  Everyone speaks highly of them.  Now people are starting to call me "maestra" which makes me uncomfortable because I am not a teacher and I don't want to disappoint anyone.  I was supposed to have 2 teens helping me, but tomorrow none of the girls are able to come!  So it may be me and 20 preschoolers.  Please (seriously) pray for me and the kids.  I want to provide structure and still let them have fun.  I've been reading blogs about activities, but most of the blogs are parents with their own kids.  Not 20 kids.

I have a white board, but no markers for it.  It will take time for me to dig through everything in that class and find a use for it.  But it is such a blessing to have too much stuff!  Except every Friday when  I have to take everything down and put it all away because they have Sunday school class in the same room.

This morning my Mom called on Skype.  It was nice to receive a phone call from home.  Nobody in the US has an international calling plan, so nobody can call me.  She called when I only had 15 minutes to be ready before I had to leave the house, so I really couldn't talk, but at least I knew she was thinking about me.

Well, I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.  And I'll try to take some photos.

Don Juan, the guard/maintenance man/overall helper of everyone, is going to make a scratching post for my cat.  He is excited to make it.  I showed him pictures today of scratching posts from Amazon.com.  Five minutes later he came back with some wood that he will use for the base.  I'll take photos when it is done.

Now we are waiting for Lourdes to finish a bible study.  Then we will head home for the day.  I hope this headache goes away for tomorrow.  I want a clear head on my first day with the kids.

Preschool Postponed

Today was a short day at the Breakfast Program.  There was no school, so all of the kids came early. We had the most delicious breakfast!  It was rice we got from the stash that the grocery store threw away, beans, a slice of cheese, a tortilla, and a piece of sweetbread.  We were all done by 12:30.

Lourdes wanted me to wait until Wednesday to start with the preschoolers.  She wants to show me all of the resources I will have to work with, and to rearrange the classroom before we start.  We will do that tomorrow so classes will start Wednesday.  I had a week focused on Noah's Arc planned.  We were going to read the story, then talk about the animals, draw the animals, and draw the first letter of our favorite animals.  I think that will be a week long project, so we will start that next Monday.

I talked to Lourdes about tutoring Daniel.  She suggested that I tutor him twice/week until I get a car.  That feels much more manageable.  She suggested that I go to Belinda's today, but then realized I had my computer with me, so she said today is not a good day.  I cannot travel alone with my computer.

After getting home early I started to watch a movie but fell asleep and slept for FOUR hours!  I feel like I finally caught up on all of the sleep I didn't get last week.

Jetty seems a little lethargic.  She is eating well, but she is sleeping a lot.  I am thinking of letting her play with the dog that is temporarily staying in my neighbor's house, but then I worry that Jett will be even more lonely when Estrella leaves to move to Guatemala with her owners.  I bought a bunch of toys for her.  Last night she decided to play with one on top of me while I was sleeping, and sometimes when I come home they are in different places than when I left.  But mostly she is sleeping.  Maybe she is still tired from last week too.  I hope she perks up soon.

I got a shower this morning with plenty of water.

Someone really important must have died.  The Roman Catholic church across the street has been singing non-stop since yesterday afternoon.  When I took out the garbage last night the enormous church was full and people filled the yard outside.  This morning the church was still overflowing with people and I noticed a lot of police there.  Fany commented to me about the police too.  We don't know exactly what is going on over there.  I am obsessed with that church.  How do they sing all day and all night, then again all day?  What is going on over there?

Time for dinner.  I am going to fry a platano and make a cheese/bean sandwich on a delicious baguette.  Yummy!  Lourdes said I need to eat a LOT so I don't lose weight like I have every other time when I visit.  That's an order I can follow :)

Tomorrow's the big day!

I have been telling everyone that in the US I have a lot of nightmares, but in Honduras I sleep happily and well.  Last night I had a recurring nightmare which started when I was about 20, but last night my recurring nightmare recurred three times in the same night!  Jairo said I may need a cleansing.  He explained that is a joke in Honduras, but at this point if a cleansing would help, I am up for it.  I've had a headache all day.  Maybe it's the heavy weather, but I'm more tempted to think it's from the stressful nightmares.

Speaking of cleansing, I woke up this morning ready to shower and there was no water in the shower.  There was water in the sink, but not in the shower.  Luckily I didn't look or smell too dirty so I cleaned up the best I could before church.

When I got home from church I decided to wash one last comforter which still has a small smell of mildew.  I got everything washed, but when I took the hose to fill the washer for the rinse cycle there was no water in my pila or Fany's pila.  I checked the house and there were only drops of water coming from the sink.  I called Fany but she didn't answer so I left a voicemail.  When she called back she said that whatever system we have been using before is broken, so we are relying on rain water in the cistern but it has not been raining.  She also said the water will come tonight.  I guess that means that we are using city water too.  At the last place I lived we relied on city water, but it only came every third day from 11pm-6 am.  We had to save it in big garbage cans and ration it until the next time the city turned on the water.  Maybe I'll learn to appreciate the rainy season more now, after all of the times I complained about my clothes not drying and my skin rashes.

On the way to church this morning Lourdes' sister, Belinda, asked if I am a teacher.  I said no.  She asked if I want to be a teacher.  I said no.  Then she asked if I would tutor her son.  I said yes, I'll try.  He has to take a standardized test in 2 months and pass with 80% or higher.  She is very worried for him.  He is already not in the grade he should be, according to his age.  He doesn't have much interest in school.  Belinda explained she has tried, but I know it is hard for a parent to tutor their own child.  From what I've seen both usually end up frustrated.  He and I get along well, so I will do my best.  She wants me to work with him three times/week, which feels like a big time commitment, mostly because I don't have transportation yet.

I am also a little nervous about starting with the preschoolers tomorrow.  They are excited, but I feel like I don't know what I'm doing.  In 1999 was a teachers aide for 1st and 2nd grade kids with special needs, and I've worked with a LOT of teenagers, but I never saw myself as a teacher.  We'll have to see how it goes.  I am open to ideas!!!


Today I dressed for church like the Honduran women do, with tighter pants and high heels.  I got many compliments.  I was wondering what Lourdes would say - I know she would have said something, but she didn't come to church today.  My favorite outfit of the day was not my own though.  It was Marlin's.  The bible I gave her had a denium cover. She wore a denium dress and carried a denium purse which fit her bible perfectly inside.  I complimented her and told her it was so cool how she matched all over.  (It didn't look overwhelming because she added a pretty shawl and necklace.)  Her kids sat with me during church.  There was only one seat, so Meylin took the seat and Misael plopped himself on my lap.

Marlin in denium

I got lots of hugs and greetings from people I haven't seen since I got back.  Valery, Jose and Karla's daughter, latched on to me after the service and followed me around until her parents were ready to go.  Followed isn't exactly the right word.  She actually attached herself to me - on my lap if I sat or around my legs if I stood.  She was in a happy mood today.


The message today was about being conscious about how you live here and now, because the things you do now determine your future on earth and when you die.  Jairo also emphasized being present in the moment, not worrying about the future.  The band is definitely enjoying the wireless microphones K2 bought for the church.  We also had a guest saxophone/flute player from California.  Oh, and I almost forgot - Walter Zaldaña (not the Walter that some of you know, but a boy who Jairo took from the streets many years ago) had his baby presented to the church today.  Jairo explained the whole concept of presenting the baby so that the church can support him in raising the baby according to Christian beliefs.  The baby can be baptized when she is old enough to choose to do so.  Next week there will be 13 baptisms! Jairo said this is almost double the usual number of baptisms.  Everyone is excited.

After church a woman named Raquel, who has reached out to me since I first got here, asked if I would join her for a two minute meeting.  She took Meylin, Marlin and Kenia into a classroom with her.  I knew Kenia had been bullying Meylin, but I didn't know that Kenia and Meylin are cousins who have separate spaces, but share the same home structure.

Sidenote:  Yay!  It's raining!  I should have water soon if this keeps up.

Kenia has had a difficult time ever since I've known her.  We love her and talk to her, but her life is difficult.  She is 14 now.  Meylin's mother loves Kenia very much, but she can't allow Kenia to do the things she is doing to Meylin.  Raquel asked each of the girls to tell their story.  They both cried and seemed to truly be in pain as they talked about their relationship.  Kenia struggled with accountability, but finally admitted to what she had done most recently.  With encouragement from Raquel, she asked for forgiveness, which Meylin granted.  The two girls cried and hugged.  Then I asked Kenia to think of 2 things she can do to make things better at home.  Kenia said she will not hit or use bad words.  We discussed the idea that this is a habit she will have to break and it may take time because she is accustomed to doing these things, but she can always ask for forgiveness from God and anyone she may hurt if she messes up.  I asked if her heart felt better after the conversation.  She said yes, smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes.  I told her God does not want her to be sad or have a heavy heart.  He will always forgive her, just like Meylin did, if she asks his forgiveness.  She is going to write down the two things she will practice at home.  She will also work at being more obedient to her mother.  I'll ask her how things are going next week.  It was an honor that Raquel asked me to sit with them.  She said it was hard for her to talk to the girls, but I think she did a great job.  We made a good team.  She also said my Spanish has gotten a lot better.  I always am happy to receive that compliment.


Raquel has been wanting me to help her with the younger teen-aged girls since I first got here, but since I don't have a car we haven't been able to make that happen.  I would like to work with her when I get a car.  But I realize I also need to pace myself.  Already I spend 5 days working and one day worshiping at the church.  If I help with the younger teens, that will mean 7 days/week I will be at the church.  I will have to pray about that.


I came home and made a nice lunch.  Jetty sat with me while I ate.  Now I need to start preparing for my first preschool class tomorrow.  We will be separated from the breakfast program in our own classroom.  Lourdes asked that we have some time to learn about God, some time for motor skills and school preparation, and then we will eat together in the classroom as well.  I think the ideas sound great.  I am just not sure how to implement them.  Please pray about this - that God will guide me and show me how to meet the needs of each of these precious children.


I'll let you know how it goes.  Feels great to be writing again!

I'll wave my finger if I can't hear you.

Today was productive.  I sat on the steps outside the church and looked over the mountainous city while I waited for Karla and Jose to pick me up.  I spend so much time locked inside my gates, I usually fail to notice what a gorgeous view they have across the street.  I'll have to take a picture of it sometime.  Mountainsides full of houses.  Karla and Jose arrived with homemade Popsicle they bought down the street.  I think they were horchata, frozen in a plastic cup with a Popsicle stick stuck inside.  They tasted delicious!

We took off  for the pet store.  The pet store was not what I expected. I was thinking something like Petsmart or Petco.  This was a little pet store in the mall, big enough to fit about 12 people if they crowded inside, with birds and fish for sale.  They did have a litter box and food dishes.  They had one kind of hard cat food, one kind of litter, and two kinds of soft cat food.  They had no toys, no water fountain, no mat for outside the litter box and no box liners.  But I do have the basic necessities, I guess.

Valery became very attached to the litter box and insisted on carrying it with us as we shopped for the next hour or more.  It has a cover with a handle so she carried it around like a hug purse.  She wouldn't put that thing down no matter how we begged.  She carried the litter box as we went grocery shopping, then to pick up an extension cord which I needed for the washing machine that the Seamans left for me when they moved to Guatemala.

When we got back Jose helped me set up the washer.  It is outside my kitchen window.  When I want to use it I pull the cord through the window and plug it in.  Then I get the garden hose and fill it with water since it is not attached to a water source.  When the wash cycle is done I fill it up again for rinsing.  My mom thinks it's crazy, but it is so nice to have clean clothes.  They dry a lot more quickly too.  I feel blessed to have running water, so a clothes washer feels like sheer extravagance.

I did three loads of wash, ate a good meal with my new groceries, did some yard work and settled in for the night.  Called my mom at 7 pm on Skype.  It was still sunny in Denver.  It had already been dark for an hour here.  I have to get a faster internet connection before I try that again.  I have learned to live with the slow connection because I pirate my neighbor's unsecured line.  However, Mom is not used to it.  I kept explaining that Skype isn't going to work well until I get my own internet connection.  I even wrote her a message explaining it.  But every time my voice faded out she kept wondering why.  Then she decided to use a signal to tell me when she couldn't hear me.  So every time she couldn't hear me she would say, "I can't hear you, I've lost you, What's wrong?  Are you there?" and wave her pointer finger in front of the Skype camera.  It was pretty entertaining from this end.  (Sorry Mom)  Finally the connection would come back and she would act like it hadn't just happened six times already.  Must be it wasn't too frustrating for her though, because she just buzzed in to tell me good night as I was writing this.  She did the finger thing again and left me laughing and loving her more than ever.  Skyping is new to her, so I'm glad she is trying it, even though we still have some fine tuning to do.  When I get my own internet connection she won't have to wave her finger anymore.  But maybe I'll talk softly so she thinks she can't hear me, just for the entertainment value.

"Are you there?  I can't hear you," with a finger wave.  :)  Good night.

Back in Honduras

Got back to Honduras, safe and sound, with all of my suitcases and my cat on Thursday afternoon.  I was really worried about bringing Jetty with me.  However, she was perfectly calm about the whole thing.  18 hours in a little bag didn't seem to phase her a bit.   She has settled right in to her new home and, as usual, is making friends with everyone she meets.  Today Jose is taking me to buy a litter box and cat food.  Yesterday Jairo tried - but that's a story for later.

I purposely am not posting about my "vacation".  It was nothing that I expected and many things I didn't expect.  Thank God for my mother.  Let's leave it at that.

I did get to meet some of the people who are sponsoring me that I've not met before.  That was nice.  Wish I could have caught up with others.

Left Colorado Wednesday night.  Accidentally got to the airport almost 3 hours before my flight.  Normally I wouldn't mind being early, but this time it meant extra time in the cat carrier for poor Jett.  Got to Honduras at noon on Thursday.  I wasn't sure what to expect from the people who had to approve Jett to leave the airport.  The were nice as can be.  They needed help to translate the records to make sure she had her rabies shot.  I paid the 500 lempiras and they said "cheque" which means okay, or everything is in order.  I always love that word.  Karla says it a lot.  But I have never been happier to hear "cheque" before.  With some kind words and a small payment, Jett and I were free to go home!

Lourdes and Jairo were at the airport to meet me.  They were shocked at all of my luggage.  I had 2 suitcases (each 50 lbs on the dot), a big backpack as my carry on and Jetty as my personal item.  We lugged it all to the car and by the time we payed the attendant at the airport parking lot I already felt at home.

I did have some moments of panic later in the evening when I began to question if I can keep Jett safe and healthy here.  It is hard to keep her from drinking the water from the sinks or shower or the water that drips through the ceiling every time it rains.  I guess I will have to just wait and see what happens.  I am scared she will drink the water and get sick :(

The first thing I did when I got home was sweep and mop the floors.  A lot of cockroaches died while I was gone and they were all upside down on my floor.  I found out later that my neighbor had a fumigator at her house so she asked them to blow the fumes into my window too.  Thus the abundance of dead cockroaches.  I hope this will mean less live ones in the future!

After the house was clean I unpacked all of my stuff, put pictures on the walls and my knife set in the kitchen.  That felt nice.

I was homesick when all of the work was done, missing my mom.  So I called her and she reminded me that I was exhausted, hadn't slept in 2 nights, and assured me I would feel better when I get to see the kids in the morning.

Of course she was right.  Yesterday morning I got up and got ready for Lourdes and Jairo to pick me up.  It was so nice to wake up with Jetty next to me.  I read my devotional and it was about being homesick!  That little message from God was all it took to remind me that I am in the right place.

I think some of the kids were surprised to see me come back to the breakfast program.  So many people leave, I don't think they expected to see me so soon.  But they were happy to see me, especially Marlin and her kids, Misael and Meylin.  All three of them ran to me with their arms open for hugs.  Lourdes said that Marlin was faithful in running the breakfast program while we were gone.  The kids had a long time of prayer and lots of singing before breakfast.  Finally I know most of the words to the songs.  I am still learning the hand motions ;)

I was excited to give Marlin her birthday present - a bible.  Her eyes welled up with tears and she was completely silent.  But her smile said it all.  She gave me several big hugs and said thank you later, when she could speak.  Now she will not have to borrow a bible from the church.  Eunice said that just last week Marlin was asking about buying a bible, but it was too expensive.  I think she loved her gift.  I certainly loved being able to give it to her.

Beautiful girls dressed for Indian Day

The garb of traditional dancers, with beads and ruffles.

Kenya kept asking to get her picture taken.  She was very proud of her costume.

It was Indian Day, a national holiday, so some of the kids dressed as the native people used to and entered contests at their school.  Kids from the breakfast program got first, second and third place in the contest!  They were proud of their costumes and wanted their pictures taken.  Some of the girls were dressed as dancers, with traditional white dresses.  The dresses are all the same, but they add embroidery to make the dresses more special, and then wear things in their hair and long beads around their necks.  Other girls were dressed as Indians, with little leather tops and a sort of loin cloth/skirt.  They had special sandals that were simple and flat, made of leather.  To me, Meylin's costume was the best.  But by applause she got second place.  She had long, fake braids which she loved.  Keep in mind she doesn't have much hair because her mother was sick with Lupus when Meylin was born.  She wore those braids all day, even after she took off the rest of her costume.

Meylin in her second place costume

After the kids left the breakfast program Jairo offered to take me shopping.  I forgot that I had given my ID to someone so they could pick up a package for me.  (I think the package my friend, Bill Frausto, sent is finally here.)  Apparently it is a big package, because the person who went to get it for me came back empty handed saying he needs more money before they will release it to him.  Anyway, Jairo and I went shopping and it wasn't until I was at the check out that I realized I only had my credit card.  They wouldn't let us buy anything without ID and Jairo had given the same guy who had my ID all of his money to change it to Lempiras.  So we left the store empty handed.  I felt bad for wasting Jairo's time.  He said he had a strange feeling that something was going to go wrong, and figured it had to do with paying for the groceries, but he didn't want to doubt my ability to buy groceries so he tried to push the feeling aside and said nothing.  I told him next time I would not be offended if he asked!

When we got back to the church Marlin, Don Juan, and Lourdes were going through food from another load that was thrown away by the grocery store.  I thought it was appropriate that we were digging through food from the garbage on my first day back, since that is what I did as soon as I got off the plane last time.  I did appreciate that this load was clean and not smelly, unlike my first experience.  All that could not be used for the breakfast program was bagged up with people's names and we delivered it on the way home.

Lourdes and I had a long talk as we waited for Jairo to finish a marriage counseling session.  She was happy that I got to spend so much quality time with my mother and enjoy my mother's company and support while I was home.  Lourdes always helps me clarify my own thoughts about things, so I really enjoy our conversations.  She is able to point out things that I wouldn't see on my own.  I always feel reassured after talking with Lourdes.  It is such a huge blessing to be able to sit down and talk with Lourdes and Jairo on almost a daily basis.  I asked if I could become a disciple of someone (have a mentor), now that I am officially here full time.  I asked Lourdes to decide who she thinks will be best for me.  I will also be joining a small group.

Jairo is looking for a vehicle for me.  He said he doesn't want others to know it is for a gringa, or they will charge more.  He said he will use his connections.

Last night I was invited to the Sarmientos for dinner.  We picked up Lourdes' sister, Belinda,  and her kids and headed up the mountain, stopping along the way to drop off bags of food.  We also stopped at the Pacheco's house because all of the Pachecos got food poisening from Little Ceasar's pizza and are very sick.  Lourdes had medicine for them.  And they said they are drinking "Ga-toe-ra-day" (Gatorade).  I giggled over that.

It was after 8 pm by the time we got to the Sarmiento's house.  Aaron is away visiting relatives.  Joss was busy on her new computer, which was given to her by a special friend in the US.  After dinner Jairo and Belinda worked on something for the church.  Lourdes got out the Magic Jack and told me to call my mother, so I did.  She told Lourdes and me about the young man who shot and murdered all of the people at the Batman premier in Colorado, close to her house.  The only good thing that came out of that is the presidential candidates agreed to stop campaigning and pulled their slanderous ads from the Colorado stations for a few days.  Lourdes turned on the news here in Honduras.  Even here, the tragedy in Colorado was all they were talking about.  Then we tried, unsuccessfully to call a few more mutual friends.  Finally we had procrastinated enough and had to get some work done ourselves.  I am now Lourdes' Facebook administrator too.  She asked me to post some pictures for her and told me what to write.  So I spent until after 11 pm doing things for Lourdes on the internet.

As we headed home I joked that they already had me working 13 hour days.  Lourdes said yes, I had been on vacation too long so she was going to wring all of the energy out of me now that I am back.  Really, spending 13 hours in the church and at the Sarmiento's home is a pleasure.  But Jetty was happy to see me when I got home.  We curled up and went to sleep.

Today Jose is taking me to the pet store.  I am hoping I can talk him into the grocery store too.  This time I will remember my ID.  Fany, my neighbor, and I sat outside this morning and talked.  I woke early (6:45) and jumped out of bed when I heard the man outside yelling "AGUAAAA!".  I am out of water and had to bring some home from the church just to get through the night.  So I bolted out the door, then realized he was still on the street behind my house.  I rested and waited for him to come to my street.  I have water now, but still feel like I could have used a few more hours of sleep.

Oh, I forgot to mention the new changes in my neighborhood!  First of all, the entrances to my colonia (neighborhood) now have tall, green, metal gates that form a complete barrier across the entire street and the sidewalks.  The only way through to pass through is when a guard lifts the metal bar.  The guards want to know exactly where you live, which is hard since there are no street names here.  I figure they will learn my face more quickly now that I am back for good, since I believe I am the only gringa in my neighborhood.  They are very tight about closing the gate before and after each car now, whereas they used to stand in the road and talk to each car, but keep the gate open.  Also - the most exciting thing - is that a new pulperia opened just a few houses away!  I passed it on my way to my old pulperia.  They are advertising to be a mini supermarket instead of a pulperia.  They will carry meat and all kinds of cheeses.  But at this time they are not fully stocked, which was actually nice because I could see how clean the place was.  I stopped in for queso fresco (soft cheese) which they didn't have yet, but they said they will have it soon and it will be very good quality.  Exciting!

Gotta run for now.  Jose just called to say he will be here in 15 minutes to take me shopping.  He said he is going to "horn" when he is outside.  We've had this talk before.  When he gets here I will remind him that he "beeps" when he gets outside, he doesn't "horn".  His English is so perfect I love to tease him when he makes funny mistakes like that.

Later -

Happy to be home, but I miss the kids

The trip back to the states was uneventful.  My suitcase was the first one off the belt, so I didn't have any worries about it being lost this time.

It is a little strange being in the US.  In some moments I feel like I never left.  Other times I feel like a stranger here.  At first it was hard to speak English because I am so used to Spanish now, but as of today I think I have gotten over that.

I still, however, keep forgetting that in the US we flush our TP.

Happy to be in the states, but I do miss the kids.  Trying to enjoy every moment here because I know time here will pass quickly.

On Haitus

I probably won't blog much over the next few weeks.

My 90 days is up, so in order to avoid problems with immigration, I have to go back to the states and get my passport stamped.  Plus I'll go camping with my brother and his family at our annual retreat to the Telluride Bluegrass Festival.  Then I'll head to Salt Lake to get all of my stuff out of storage and sell what I can.  From there I'll go to Colorado to spend time with my Mother and celebrate the 4th of July with my nephews!  In Colorado I'll sell my car so I'll be able to buy a car when I get back to Honduras.

I'm excited to spend time with friends and family, but already eager to get back here (although I haven't left yet).  I miss the kids already!

You can expect consistent posts again after I return.

Letter sent to my Mailing List

Yesterday my mind and my heart joined together to allow me to fully comprehend that I am now officially a MISSIONARY IN HONDURAS! It was an incredible experience. Although I have been living and enjoying this lifestyle for several months, it took until now for me to internalize everything. I guess when you make big changes, like becoming a missionary and moving to Honduras, sometimes it can take a while to really sink in.

I see everything in a whole new light. I am overcome with joy and tranquility that God has often shown me recently. I look around and really feel at home. Honduras is not just the place where I am staying, it is the place I where I am. This is hard to describe in words. My heart is full of happiness and God's love. It overwhelmed my mind yesterday. Physically I felt like my heart could burst from all of the joy and peace and love inside.

Stepping forward in faith with the commitment to live here has freed me to experience life in a new way. I am able to open my heart and love more deeply, without fear of having to leave the people I care about so much. I didn't realize how much I had been holding back. Relationships with the people here are growing in ways I never expected. It is absolutely beautiful.

Stepping forward in faith has also freed my mind of worry. It allows room for me to think about other things. I can now to see myself as a part of this community, not just a visitor from the outside.

Thursday I will go back to the states to empty out my storage unit, sell my car and say goodbye to everyone. I am excited to see everyone in the states, but I am also excited to come back here and really LIVE as God wants me to. I have been appreciating and enjoying each day here, but now that I see things in a new light, there is even more room for God to work through me. I am so excited to see His plans unfold!

As far as finances go, many people stepped forward with financial support since my last email. To those who increased your donations, thank you. Thank you to those who donated for the first time. A special thank you to those of you who took your own step of faith by supporting me although we have never met. Thank you to everyone who is supporting me and the people of Honduras in prayer. Thanks to those of you who read my blog as well. MLFHonduras.blogspot.com

I am still about $200 short of the minimum monthly goal. Currently I have definite plans to live in Honduras until at least Christmas. If it is God's will, I will return to live in Honduras after Christmas, but I do need to be fully funded in monthly donations. If you are still considering sponsorship, I need your help! Here's the link:

www.WorldOutreach.org/donations Just click on my name (Fager, Mary Lynn)


I will be in Salt Lake at K2 on July 1st. If you would like to meet between or after services, please contact me. I'd love to say hello!

This journey keeps getting better! Thank you for joining me.

(If you are not on my mailing list and would like to be, just give me your contact info!)

Awesome Weekend!

The past 48 hours have been really amazing!

A group of jovenes (teens) from the city were invited to spend the night in La Tigra and attend a presentation Saturday morning about La Tigra and environmental conservation. I was asked to go along to chaperone the girls and gladly accepted the invitation. La Tigra is one of my favorite places on earth. It is a beautiful rain forest and part of a National Park. We met at the church - me with all of my gringa camping gear and the girls with little bags like what my mother would use to carry library books.

Lolita, Estephany, Kebelin, Fabiola

Although we waited 40 minutes, soon after we left Walter got a phone call that more kids had arrived at the church. We pulled over on the side of the road and they drove to meet us. Then, with six kids in tow, we headed up the mountain. We arrived at the church in La Tigra to find the Honduras-Panama fútbol game projected on the wall like a big screen with huge speakers to give the full effect. About 30 local people were gathered to watch the game.

One of the mothers had made me promise to take care of her daughter as though she were my own, so I felt terrible when she said she felt sick to her stomach. I had no medicine and could only offer to sit outside with her in the fresh air. When it became apparent that Honduras was not going to win, more teens came outside and began to their own game of fútbol. Soon Estephany felt well enough to play. From that point on, she played fútbol unless she was sleeping or eating.

Fabiola and Estephany playing fútbol with two local boys

We were treated like royalty, with tents already set up and mattresses inside. There was also wood stacked in perfect square over square, with pine needles between each layer, for a huge bonfire. Next time I'll know to bring S'mores! Even the stars put on an amazing show for us. The city kids laid down and tried to guess how many stars were in the sky, all of them commenting over and over about how beautiful it is in La Tigra. What an honor, to share that experience with them.

Finally it started getting chilly, so we started the bonfire and warmed up. By that point we were tired and ready for bed. Fabiola forgot her blanket. She was going to share with Estephany and me, but got frustrated when Estaphany told her to keep her ice cold feet to herself. Then she moved into the other tent with Lolita and Kebelin and we could hear them complaining about her cold feet too. After a few minutes of giggling, everyone was sound asleep. The sun rises here before 6 a.m., but we slept until 8. I was very happy about that.

Breakfast was pancakes on the grill outside. The girls swore they could each eat four. I should have known better than to listen to them after watching their skinny teenaged legs running around the night before playing soccer. They are all in that in between stage, where they haven't grown into their long legs yet. Anyway, they barely ate 3 each. I pretended to scold them, but really I knew it was my fault. I shouldn't have made all of that food. So we gave the extras to some local people who were cleaning up the area before the presentation. At least none of it went to waste in the end. For the rest of the day we joked about never wanting to eat another pancake for the rest of our lives.

The girls suggested we go for a hike, and if you know me, you know I was thrilled with that idea. I had told them I was baptized in the river nearby, so they asked if I would show them where I was baptized. What an amazing honor and blessing, to be able to show the young girls where I was baptized! We walked down, or in some cases slid, because none of us had appropriate shoes. It was a beautiful hike. Each time we came to a small clearing they would ask, "Is this it?" and I would say, "No, it is better than this."

Lolita, Kebelin, Estephany and Fabiola on the hike

Kebelin on part of the ropes course

Rainforest

Finally we got to the place where I was baptized. THEY LOVED IT! After taking a look they decided they wanted to go for a swim, so they jumped in.  I felt horrible because I had to make them leave too soon. It was time for the speaker to begin as we started to climb back up the mountain. But they had been enjoying themselves so much I couldn't rob them of that moment.  They were good sports about having to leave so quickly.

Place I was baptized

Fabiola in the waterfall

We got back just in time to take a seat and the presentation began. Walter called me over to ask why the floor was wet under Kebelin's chair. I don't know what he thought, but I explained she had been swimming, so her hair was wet and dripping. Oops!

They listened intently to the speaker. I was so proud of them when they contributed by talking about how we had just been hiking and picked up the garbage we found. (I expected them to complain when I asked them to collect garbage on the way back, but they made a game to see who could collect the most.) They told the speaker that if we work as a team we can help keep La Tigra clean!

Parque Nacional "La Tigra"

After the presentation they begged to go hiking again, but it was time for lunch. Lunch was two hotdogs topped with piles of onion, chiles, relish and other condiments. I knew my belly could only hold one, but everyone else struggled to finish two. Wasting food here is not acceptable. With full bellies we waited for a ride back to the city. We took some more pictures, Estephany played fútbol, and the rest of us rested in the tents.

Lolita, Fabiola, Kebelin with full bellies

Estephany, Kebelin, Lolita, me, Fabiola

After a brief downpour, in which we discovered the tents all leak, we packed everything up and headed back to the city. It was a really great time.

Karla was at the church, waiting for me. We were three hours late getting home, but nobody seemed to notice. This was the start of part two of my awesome weekend.

We washed Karla's car in the rain, then went to pick up Jose from his college. (He even had a class at 9 a.m. on Sunday!)  After picking up Jose they were starving, so we had a big dinner. Karla is known for her cooking, which is funny because her whole family is so thin. I was NOT hungry, but ate anyway, just because the food was good. Then we unplugged a clogged drain with a wet vac - never heard of doing it that way before, but it worked! Afterward, I did two loads of laundry in the washer and dryer. Now my tank tops are no longer stretched out around the bottom, my towel is not scratchy and my blankets don't smell like wet dog. Life is good!

Karla's Kitchen

Living Room at Karla and Jose's house - door on left leads to outside patio

We sat out on the porch and listened to the frogs. We talked about important stuff. I love spending time with Karla and Jose. They treat me like family. And we don't waste time with small talk. Then Karla found a show on tv that has been on since she was a child. She was excited to share it with me and tell me about the ways it has changed over the years. When it was over we watched some more fútbol until I got tired and told everyone good night.

This morning we went to church. Jairo was not there, but it was still a great message. It was about remembering to go to God with everything, not just when you are sad or have problems, but also when you are happy.

I realized as I sat there that I had been dreading this day for a long time. Because I never believed this day would happen the way that it did. In my mind I imagined that on the last Sunday before my flight back to the states I would be horribly sad and heart broken. I thought I would be saying good bye to everyone, maybe for the last time. I pictured this day to be a horrible, painful day. But instead, this is the day that my mind and my heart finally came to terms with the fact that I am going to live in Honduras. It was a process that happened step by step, throughout the day. In church I started crying as I explained to Jose that I had been dreading this day, because I hadn't dared to hope that I would stay here. I didn't want to get my hopes up because I thought it would hurt more when I had to leave. Then I told Karla how this day was so much different from what I had expected. It felt like a celebration. God is allowing me to stay in Honduras!

After church I promised the kids I would be back in a few weeks. I got a special hug from my buddy Christian (Conejo). He has outgrown our days of being side by side, but he still makes sure to grab me in a big hug from behind and make me guess who it is every once in a while. I spun him around and held on to him. I love that boy. He has been struggling lately and I'm not sure why. Don Juan will figure it out. I'm guessing family problems.

After church Leonor (my landlord, and now my friend) and I went to lunch, then hung out at the mall. We looked for a bible for Marlin - one that is especially easy to read. One of the stores ended up ordering it for us. Then we sat down and had coffee to pass time until the gringo church. God was definitely guiding our conversation because she is struggling with something I had direct experience with, so we made a plan to work on that together. I don't think I can really help, but at least I can provide some insight.

Gringo church was nice. She said she really liked it. She knew a lot of people there, because they are all teachers at her daughters' school. At the Gringo church I learned that today is missions Sunday. I didn't even realize that was this week. How appropriate for me to finally feel like a real missionary on missions Sunday!

After church she dropped me off and I walked into my house for the first time since Friday afternoon. It was the best feeling of coming home. I walked in, looked around and had a true sense of being at home, not just at the place where I am staying, but my home. There is a difference.

That was my awesome weekend.

Everything is great, but my blogger is busted

I've been trying to blog for a few days now - lots of fun and exciting things, but my blogging system seems to be messed up.  Probably won't have time to fix it until next week.  Have a busy weekend ahead.  Just know that all is well, the kids are great, Lourdes and Jairo left for the states today.  I have been having a blast and have lots of cool things set up for the weekend.  My rash seems to be going away.  It doesn't itch at all anymore.

More later, when I can figure out how to make this new system work.

I am allergic to Honduras!

After days of driving myself insane with a rash, which spread from my head to my knees, I got to see the doctor today.  Do I need to tell you what happened?  It suddenly improved - to the point that I was glad his daughter had seen it yesterday and I had photos for proof of how bad it was.  Most of me was happy to have it going away, but part of me is afraid it will come back at any moment and I still won't know what caused it.  So I pulled out the photos and showed him the gory details.  At that point he was able to determine that I am allergic to humidity.  Makes sense.  All at the same time the rainy season came and I started running, so my skin has definitely been more moist lately.  I guess my skin must have felt a little overwhelmed and decided to show me it was NOT happy.

Now I realize I have had this rash twice before.  Both times when I was spending more time up in El Hatillo and La Tigra - the rainforest.  At this point I only have one spot that is still itchy so I am very content.  The rest are fading away so quickly it is amazing!  Just since this morning the improvement is remarkable.

My Dr in the states sent me here armed with several different meds.  I've been taking them all.  When I saw the Dr today I laid them all out on the table.  He set three aside and told me not to use them, but showed me the one that had helped and others that were good pain relievers.  He will come back to see me on Thursday to make sure I am fully healed.  I think I will be.  Oh!  It feels so good to go to bed tonight knowing that I'm not sleeping in bed bugs or allergic to my sheets and my clothes!  Just need to stay dry.

Marlin had pancakes all ready when we arrived today.  I was still not feeling very strong (he said the weakness means I have a strong allergic reaction), but finally roday I found something that sounded appealing - yogurt!  So Jairo and I bought a ton of it.  I already ate almost all.

Lorenzo and I have a new special bond.  I'm not sure why.  He has decided that he needs lots of long hugs from me, which is absolutely fine with me.  In fact I love it!  I have a strong feeling he doesn't get hugs outside of the church.  I asked him how old he is today.  He comes up to the top of my leg and he is 8 years old.  Tragic.

Lourdes speaking with Lorenzo

 On the left of Lourdes, Lorenzo - age 8, on the right of Lourdes, Meylin - age 6
See how tiny he is?

Junior also showed up today.  He is two.  Lourdes pointed out how much weight he has lost, just in the time I have known him.  His family is very dysfunctional and can't pull it together enough to get him to the church so he can get some food in his belly.  It is distended and his legs are skinny.  Very sad to see.  But he sure is a high spirited boy.  Seems like he has no idea that he is so young.  He tries to take charge of everything and doesn't let anyone get in his way.  Today he decided it would be fun to throw toys at a much older boy, and then have the boy throw toys at him.  I stopped the marvelous game before anyone was hurt, and then looked outside to see them throwing toys into the rafters, trying to get them to hang there.  Lourdes gave them a stern talking to before we prayed today about throwing toys in the church.

Today was Lourdes' last day at the breakfast program before she leaves for a trip with her family to the states.  I'll have lots of help, with Marlin and Walter and the teen aged girls, so I'm not worried.

Tomorrow, however, Walter, Jairo, and Ethel (the leader of the Elders), are invited to a meeting at the President's house!  It is about how to solve the gang problems.  Jairo seems to be looking forward to it.

Josselyn and I got to hang out for a while as her father was meeting with Walter and Ethel.  She is about to finish another term of college and continues to work hard and enjoy school.  We ordered books from Amazon today.  Amazon doesn't deliver to Honduras, so they are all being sent to a good friend in the states.  Joss is very excited to get her books.  She wasn't expecting to be able to have them and has been trying to figure out a way since the first day I got here when I was reading one of them on my Kindle.  She really wanted her own hard copy since she reads them over and over.  We did some shopping and she was worried about the cost so I told her I would buy her a book as a birthday present, even though her birthday is still months away.  Her family does so much for me, I really wouldn't mind paying for all of the books, but I don't know if her father would appreciate that.

I paid my first bill today!  That was exciting and made me feel like I really live here.  The electric bill gets stuck with masking tape on your front gate and you gave to take this little thing, smaller than a grocery receipt, and pay it at the bank.  Bank lines are always very long, but since there is no postal system here, that is how you receive and pay your bills.

Last night I was thinking about how much I had looked forward to seeing Karla and Jose, but in reality I haven't spent much time with them.  They are so busy with work and college and their kids that I fully understand, but I still wish I could see them more often than a quick hello after church.  Tonight Karla called and invited me to come spend the weekend at their house.  I eagerly accepted the invitation.  Maybe we can go to the mercado and buy fresh fruits, veggies, cheese and meat from local vendors, like we used to when I lived here before.  I love the mercado and have not been able to go at all yet.  It is like a giant farmers market with meat hanging from hooks and fish lying on tables and fruits and veggies you have never seen before.  Heaven!  I remember buying so many veggies we covered a table big enough to seat 8 ppl and we only spent $14 US dollars.  That place is awesome!
I had another new experience today.  I had to pay two months' rent, since I won't be here in the beginning of July, plus a few other bills, so I went to the ATM and had to take out 20,000 Limpiras.  That feels a little scary.  I kept doing the math over and over in my head, worried that I was going to bankrupt my account.  Ended up the machine would only give me 10,000 Limps at a time, but it still felt odd pushing those big numbers into the machine.  Since my landlord is moving I will get her washing machine.   When I get back from the states, I will have a washer!  That is very exciting to me.  She is not getting rid of her dryer, unfortunately.  But the rainy season will end some day.  Then my rash will go away and drying clothes on the line won't be quite so challenging.  In the meantime I do love thunderstorms ~