K2 at Buen Provecho - Day 2

Today was really special.  God was very present in both the morning and afternoon class with the teens today.  I really like working with the K2 team in the classroom.  Last night after dinner we came up with a plan for today and had a full class scheduled out.  But in reality, we let God step in and take over, which made the classes a lot more fun and more beneficial for the kids.

The morning group did more playing.  They are shy and don't like to talk a lot.  The afternoon group did a lot of sharing.  They really opened up their hearts and dug deep.  It was exactly what each group needed.

Naun and Oscar

Circle of trust

Trust fall

Fabiola and Eli

Playing tanks

Between the classes one of the girls pulled me aside and asked why one of the team members trembles.  I said I am not sure, but I heard her say last night that she was diagnosed a year ago with something and today she said she has to take a lot of medications.  The girls (Dilma) said the lady is funny.  Dilma said the things she says are really funny.  I said, "Oh, I thought you meant that the trembling was funny."  Dilma became very serious and said no, the trembling is not funny.  That would be cruel.  We need to pray for her.

So we went directly to the team member and I explained that Dilma would like to pray for her.  The strangest part is that Dilma is very shy.  She is not usually outgoing.  Even in the classroom sometimes she covers her face when she talks.

But today God took away her timidness and she listed to Him when He asked her to pray for Andrea, the team member.  She said a beautiful prayer, which I translated for Andrea.  Then the two hugged and held each other for a while.  Andrea was very, very moved.  She told me she has Parkinson's Disease.  She said that her disease is nothing compared to what these kids face on a daily basis.

After lunch we went to visit a lady named Maria at her house.  She is one of two who were chosen by the church to go to beauty school.  She lives in what a North American would call a shack.  It was three full walls of wooden planks with holes between the wood.  The fourth wall had a door and a window with nothing to cover it.  I imagine when it rains hard the whole house has to be wet since the boards didn't touch and there was nothing over the window.  I also worry about safety.  Maria lives there with her 2 sons.  Anyone could crawl in that window.  Now I understand why some days the kids tell me they could not come to Buen Provecho because someone had to stay at home in the house.  Maria is blessed that her sister-in-law lives above her and her mother lives below her, so that provides some safety.

The home was one room.  It did have a cement floor.  And one bed and the cushion of a chair on the floor.  The walls were covered with what looked like paper bag or something similar.  But the whole place felt so cozy because her son's art work was carefully hung across every wall.  Maria definitely puts a lot of love and care into her home.  I didn't see a place to cook or any evidence of food.  I am hoping maybe they prepare food at her mother's home.

It was so interesting because Maria said that she was very grateful for the basket of food we brought but kept emphasizing that what she was even more appreciative of was the love she felt through the church and through the people visiting her home.  She explained she has felt very alone, even to the point of taking her own life.  She has no way to provide for her two sons and cannot find work.

We prayed that her circumstances will change.  I feel very hopeful since she will be able to cut hair and paint nails after she finishes beauty school.  Without knowing any of this, I gave her a towel today.  She needed it for her class because they are washing and blow drying hair.  She does not own a towel.

Her oldest son is in my class.  He is very quiet and to be honest he often does not pay attention.  He is one of the students who is progressing least.  I am hoping that by visiting his home and getting to know him and his family on a different level, that might change.

I received one of the highest compliments I can imagine receiving today.  I asked the youth pastor from K2 for feedback after two days in the classroom with me and the teens.  He said that he believes we are doing exactly what we should be.  He said by investing in relationships with these kids I am giving them all they need to learn how to grow and how to be successful.  He said he can see that the kids and I have a good relationship and they are listening and learning.  To hear that felt amazing.

Eunice keeps saying every day that it is nice to see me so happy "with my people".  I know she realizes I have been down lately.  I think she wants to support me on my good days by saying positive things like that..

Well, as usual it is pouring rain..  The team was more tired today, I noticed.  One girl has had a headache for over 24 hours and today it was really hurting her to the point where she couldn't eat and was just lying on the cement floor of the church.  I told Robin I think that happens at least once every time a team comes to visit.  Poor Kacy is usually full of energy, but today she was definitely suffering.  Also one of the kids drank the tap water at the retreat where they are staying.  Better than drinking the tap water in the city, but still not the best idea.  His stomach was a little off today, but he seemed okay.  They have antibiotics and stomach pain medicine if he starts getting diarrhea.  And of course there is always Dr.  Gustavo.  Thank God for Dr. Gustavo.

It was pretty awesome to see God's hand touching so many people today, including me.  Nothing has changed as far as the things I am struggling with, but it sure is nice to have some positive people around, being cheerful and doing happy things.  I am enjoying every minute with the K2 team, even more than I hoped I would.

Kim and Junior

Some climb mountains, Carlos climbs people

Hugs

Jovi with Tania

Eli taking a sselfie with Kebelin

K2 Day 3 (First day at Buen Provecho)

Playing streets and alleys

My Mentor, Robin, with two of the girls

This is my class of teens
Today two members of the team took over for me

Junior eating Catrachas

Justin, a member of the team, washing dishes
for the kids of Buen Provecho

The team played soccer with the kids too
That was a huge hit!

Today was a long day, but I am not too tired.  Wait until the end of next week.  I'll be ready to drop.(We have another team coming next week.)

This morning we had a presentation about the church and about Buen Provecho.  By the time we were done the kids were already there, so we had a little time to play.  Then we jumped into the classes.

There was no translator for the preschool class so Eunice had to leave her office duties to translate for the team members who served in the preschool class.  I wonder if she will have to do that for the next two weeks or if the rules will change when K2 leaves.

 My morning class was really quiet.  It was like pulling teeth to get them to participate.  But the afternoon class was fun.  We are really lucky because the youth pastor of K2 is going to spend the week in my class.  I think it will be good for several reasons.  They aren't often led by a male at church.  At Buen Provecho we are all women. Also, most of them do not have a male role model at home, so they seem to like having a guy around.  He is easy going and fun and he likes to play soccer.  I think it is going to be a really good week.

I am starting to realize that God sent the team as much for me as he did to serve the kids.  I have been really struggling and having the team here makes me realize I am not crazy.  Today I feel like a totally different person than I have for the past few weeks.  I just don't care about the drama anymore.  I can focus on the kids and the people who are a positive influence on my life and pray for the rest.

I spent most of the afternoon/evening at the retreat center with the team.  It was nice to hear their point of view.  Sometimes I was reminded of my first trip here.  It is also really nice to be able to talk with Kim, the leader of the team, and Robin, my mentor.  Robin asked if she could take me out to dinner this week!  That will be wonderful.  Just the two of us with some alone time to talk.  I am looking forward to that.  She said don't worry about the cost, but I don't even know any good places to go here.  I'll have to ask around.

Kim brought me a big goodie bag with everything from contact lens solution and flea drops for the cat, to my favorite chocolate and a book of Sudoku.

Tonight I pulled out all of my Honduras gear.  Tomorrow HO plays the US in soccer.  We are all going to wear Honduras jerseys.

I am really, really impressed by this team.  They are fully invested and still really easy going.  Nobody seems stressed out at all.  Health wise, other than a headache they are all doing well.  I believe it is going to be a week full of blessings for the team and for me, as well as for the kids of Buen Provecho.  God seems to be very present in everything they do.  Which come to think of it, is exactly what I prayed for last night!  What more can you ask?

They're here!

The K2 team got here safely on Saturday afternoon.  They are two members short because one of the members has health issues.  He and his wife had to stay in the US per doctor's orders.  The rest arrived, tired but happy to be here.

We went straight to Villa Gracia, where they will stay.  They were excited to see their accommodations.  We had a nice lunch and I left them to rest.

This morning they went to church.  Walter preached.  For me, it was an excellent message.  Exactly what I needed to hear.  Unfortunately the translating wasn't well planned for the team, so some of them missed the whole message.  But I was near Lucy, who is my translating idol and I noticed that I was keeping right up with her.  My translation has improved greatly, which is something I take pride in.  I hope one day to be an excellent translator.  But for now, at least I can say that I am pretty darn good.

Today Samuel Matute, a member of the leadership, played the bass.  He doesn't play often so I snapped this photo.

Samuelito found a friend in team member Eli, and was stuck like glue to Eli until bible classes began.  At least that kept him calm and not up to his usual antics during the service.

Worship time

After church everyone piled into the van to go to Valle de Angeles, a small tourist town outside of Teguciglpa.  We stopped and ate at a place that served huge platters of meat - 3 types of chicken, one sausage, one pork, two beefs.  It was enough food many more people.  Especially since some of the team members. like me, are not huge meat eaters.  That was just one of the ways the team is missing having Jairo here as a host.  Jairo certainly could have helped with all of that meat!

When the staff saw us come in they set up a microphone and a man began to sing.  By the time we left one of the team members and her daughter were up there singing!  It was very cool.  The staff absoutely loved it!  They were a huge hit.

A duet in Spanish!

The K2 team and me

Tomorrow will be the team's first day with the kids.  I am a little nervous.  For some reason there is a lot more structure expected from this team than from any other teams before.  Normally we "go with the flow" when teams are here.  But this time the team received a schedule which is broken down into 15 minute intervals.

In a country that is known for not paying attention to time, I was surprised to see that the team was given a minute to minute schedule to abide by.  Tomorrow we will see where the hand of God fits into it all.  I know if everything is left in His hands, the day will be exactly what it is supposed to be.  That is what I am praying for.

Some photos from Valle de Angeles:

Robin and I got to see a woodworking shop

View of Valle de Angeles from the shop

Trying Lychee fruit for the first time!

The teens are shining bright

Okay, Kim and Robin, you are not allowed to read this post until after you have visited.  Otherwise it will ruin a surprise.

For the rest of you, today started out a rotten day.  I don't know who I can talk to and who dislikes me these days at Buen Provecho.  It makes things uncomfortable.  And then someone whom I have specifically told that I am offended by the word gringo and asked them not to say it, said, "The gringos are coming for the next two weeks."  I didn't say what I had planned to say because it wouldn't have done any good.  The person said it knowing full well it would offend me.  If I had responded to the person it would have only given them an excuse to be mad at me.  But I did wait until they were done speaking, then calmly turned and left the room.  And still, later the person seemed offended.  Oh well.

So yeah, my day didn't start well and from there I thought it was getting worse.  A lot of the older kids had today free from school because it was report card day so there were a ton of them who aren't usually in my class.  Those are the ones who are normally harder to teach.  And today my plan was to teach them a song in English so they can sing in English when the teams come.

The enemy was working overtime in my mind saying that none of the kids would participate, they would just complain and give me a hard time.  I even considered nixing the idea of the song for today.  But I really wanted our guests to see how well the kids are speaking English, and even singing in English!  So I gave myself a pep talk.  If I have a perky attitude, the kids follow suit.  If I act too strict, they shut down.  Although I was feeling solemn I knew I had to kick it up a notch in order to get the kids to participate.

I walked down to the soccer field and yelled, "Class!" then headed up to the classroom.  Normally I stand and wait to make sure they come.  And normally they continue to play.  But today I decided I was not going to let that upset me.  I expected none of them to follow for a while, then they would want a drink of water, and maybe 15 minutes later they would show up in the classroom.  But no!  They immediately stopped playing, walked right past the water fountain and straight to the class.  That had to be God at work because it has never, ever happened before.

They settled right in with our morning devotional and things were going so smoothly I got up the courage to write the lyrics, word by word, on the board.  I explained what each word meant and we practiced pronunciation.  Actually, I didn't have to explain many words because the kids knew a lot of the words already, which was yet another pleasant surprise.

We started to sing the lyrics together and almost all of them sang out strong.  I told the two that weren't singing they would have to sing alone if they didn't choose to sing with the group.  That got everyone involved.  So we sang everything a few times and I corrected the pronunciation.  Then they each said/sang (their choice) the lyrics one by one.  Speaking a second language out loud is intimidating.  I know that.  Some of the kids are better than others.

About 4 tried saying, "I can't."  But by now they all know that does not work in my class and we will wait there all day until they try.  So the peers encouraged the kids who were scared and everyone said the words by themselves.

Now it was time for the music.  I hadn't really thought about how we would do it exactly.  They already know the words in Spanish.  I had only taught them the chorus in English.  Let me just say, I was shocked.  I was so shocked I cried.

I imagined Robin and Kim, who have known these kids for years and years, watching them sing in English with almost perfect accents.  They will be so proud of the kids.  And they will also be proud of the work that I am doing here in Honduras as I represent their church.

The kids loved that I cried.  And it was a good cry, like I couldn't talk and had to sit down and wrap my head in my hands.  They all huddled around me and hugged me and told me to go ahead and cry.

Finally when I could talk I explained to them what I was feeling.  I told them I had started the day in a bad mood.  I admitted that I was hesitant to teach them the song because I thought they would give me a hard time.  But they have the most beautiful attitudes and because of them, I want to go on.  I thanked them and told them that I always thank God that they are so open to learn.  I told them that when I pray I thank God for blessing me with such amazing students who constantly surpass my expectations.

At that point Oscar, the smooth talker of the group, said in Spanish there is a saying that a student is only as good as their teacher.  I told him and the class honestly, I think for me it is the opposite.  They are the ones who make me a good teacher.  Today is a perfect example.

We are all excited to sing for the teams that are coming.  The kids say they want to learn the whole song in English, but I think it sounds cool to sing parts in Spanish too because the teams will enjoy hearing a familiar song in Spanish.  We'll see.  Maybe we will have some solos in English.  Who knows?

I told them all they could go eat.  It was late.  But they said they wanted to sing more.  Since there was no school today we stayed and sang.

Sometimes, if you give God a chance, He can completely turn your day around.  That's what He did for me today.

Later I saw the person who had said the offensive thing to me.  They were still in a bad mood.  Oh well,  I cannot control other peoples' happiness.  I can only control my own and try my best to be a positive influence on those around me.  That was my lesson for today.

I am extremely grateful for the teenagers who shine their bright lights into my life when my own is getting a little burned out.  They show me love when they don't even know I am discouraged.  I love them and as much I as am struggling right now with other things, they are the ones I am here to serve.  They are the ones who matter.  Gossip, disrespect, negativity - all of that can be driven away by God's light that shines through these kids.  I have to say something we probably don't say enough.  Thank God for teenagers!  And thank God for placing me as their teacher.

Anniversary

Yesterday was the 32nd anniversary of Iglesia en Transformación.  We will celebrate all month, but yesterday was the official party that kicked everything off.

One of the coolest things about this church is that it was founded by a group of buddies who were growing up together.  Now their kids have grown up together and their grandchildren are starting to be born.

They ask everyone who had been with the church for 32 years to stand up, then 30 years, then 25 years. etc.  By 15-20 years more than half the church was standing.  The kids of the first generation are all at least that old and more people also joined in along the way.

There was a great slide show of all of the original people when they were young.  You could see they just really enjoyed each other's company.  They weren't just doing church things, they were living life together.  I think that makes my church in Honduras very special.

The celebration last night was packed.  They added more chairs, but there were still people standing in the back.  The kids didn't have their bible classes.  They all sat quietly and calmly for over 2 hours!  My favorite part was that the kids from the Breakfast Program had watched and helped us prepare all week so many, many of them showed up with their families for the first time ever!  I was so excited to see them walk in!  When I took my envelope up for the collection I was swamped with hugs and kids wanting to introduce me to their mothers.  It was awesome!

There were also more than 50 people there from the church in La Tigra which is our other location.  La Tigra is way up in the mountains.  A big school bus brought them all down.  Many of the people who live there are isolated and don't get down to the city much.  I noticed when we went to La Tigra for youth camp that the people stared at me a lot as I drove by in my car.  I think they don't see many light skinned people.

Yesterday I was seated in front of the people from La Tigra.  Some of the mothers and a lot of the tiny kids seemed fascinated by me.  Fany said it was my pretty dress.  But I know it was really my light skin and "smooth" hair.  When I first came to Buen Provecho the kids used to want to pet my hair.  I just realized they don't do that anymore.  I am not as fascinating to them anymore.  But I like that.  They think of me more as one of them now.  Sometimes I forget that I am not indigenous here.  It takes things like the kids from La Tigra to remind me.

After the service they served a delicious dinner and had a beautiful cake.  I was with Fany.  Her daughter Laura was tired so we went home early.  After they ate dinner at their house they came over and we all sat on my bed and colored and talked.  Laura loves to draw.  She has already filled one whole book so I found another book of blank pages and gave it to her.

Laura has a cow that her Grandfather gave her.  It is kept on her Grandfather's land in the country.  Last week Laura's cow had a baby.  But where its front "wrists" would be it can't straighten its legs.  It is learning to walk now, but it walks on the back of it's "writst" with its hooves folded under.  Laura named the cow Blanca, even though it is male.  I saw a picture and it is really cute.  Her grandfather is spending lots of time massaging the leg muscles.  They are giving it calcium too, hoping the legs will straighten.  They think it happened because there was not enough rain, and therefore not enough nutrients for the unborn baby.

I hope Laura's cow will walk properly soon. I don't know what will happen if it starts getting big and is still walking like that.

Today is Sunday and I have a whole day free with no obligations.  Fany and Laura are going to the farm.  I think I will go for a run.  Yesterday I ran in my neighborhood and just as I was getting tired I turned a corner to see a huge rainbow over the mountains.  It wasn't so bad finish my run uphill with that rainbow in front of me.  Today I am going to try to do double what I did yesterday.  And read.  Maybe watch a movie.  Possibly mop the floor.  But that might be stretching it.  I've got a good dinner planned with pasta and some fresh veggies I need to use up.

It's nice to have a free day once in a while.

Los Maleducados

Today we spent the day cleaning the church for the 32nd anniversary party.  Good thing we had the kids from the Breakfast Program around.  They worked hard.  Many of them don't attend the church  Sundays and are not allowed to participate in things like the summer camp because of that.  But they all spent the day cleaning everything from bits of garbage on the ground to mopping the church itself.  Even the littlest were great workers.

Tomorrow at 4:30 we will have coffee and cookies and then the service will start at 5 p.m.

I am feeling fed up again.  Amongst other things I am sick of being called a "gringa".

When I first arrived people asked if they could call me "gringa' and assured me it was a term of endearment.  But then my taxi driver was shocked when I used the word, a doctors wife at the church asked me if I allow people to speak to me that way, friends at the gym have told me it is "maleducado" which means bad mannered, or rude.  I noticed that people who wash my car and others whom I speak with outside the church are careful to say "North Americans" or there is also a word for United States-ians.  Even my mechanic looked at me funny when I used the word Gringo.

To be honest I was never comfortable with the word.  But if it was part of the culture, as I was told, I didn't want to be rude and unaccepting.  For a long time I dealt with it, trying to get used to being called "gringa".  (Sounds like a monkey to me.)

One day we had a meeting for the Breakfast Program.  All of the volunteers met with the psychologist to discuss how things were going.  One thing that was brought up was that the kids are not allowed to use nicknames for each other within the church.  At that time I spoke up and said that I am not comfortable being called "the gringa" and asked them to stop.  I explained why it was offensive to me, and that in my culture we do not say things like that.  I asked that we talk to the kids about not using the word either when teams from the US come to serve.

The kids have all stopped using the word.  In fact they scold each other if someone says it.  But with the adults it continues.  Almost always it is behind my back.  I know that because people come up to me and say so-and-so was talking about you the other day and she said, "La gringa..."  

Certain people say it is as a deliberate attempt to be disrespectful.  So I have decided that from now on rather than referring to those people by their proper name, I will call them "la maleducada".  And maybe they will finally understand how I feel after almost three years of being called "La Gringa".

Of course by tomorrow I hope to be less frustrated about all of this stuff and will probably never follow through with these bold (and admittedly not-so-wise) intentions.  But for today, the idea of speaking my mind for once sure feels good.

Sometimes it's hard to be a missionary in Honduras.

Happy Friday.

Shout out to K2 Team 2014 and to Robin

Hooray!  Hooray!  Hooray!  It is finally October!!!!

Since at least June I have been waiting for October.  Why?  Because for the first time ever I will be hosting a team from my own church.  I love hosting teams from other churches.  I hope I will enjoy even more hosting my own church.

I was thinking about this last night.  The first time I ever visited Honduras it was with a team from my church.  That team was led by two people whom I had never met before, but got to know here, in Honduras.

A year later when I returned to Honduras on my own to work on my Spanish, God called me to serve here.  I went back to the US and decided I needed discipleship.  I am still a new Christian, but at that time I was very, very new.  So I picked the person who I thought would be the toughest on me.  I didn't have time to mess around.  I had to learn as much as I could quickly, before I moved to Honduras.

Little did I know it would take 3 years.  I thought I would leave in months.  Three years was a long wait.  Every Wednesday, without fail, we met.  I was learning and growing.  Sometimes it was learning from mistakes.   Even though I was eager to be in Honduras, I could see how God was melting away my rough edges during that time and shaping me to be a better servant.

Guess who is going to be on the team that arrives in 10 days?  The very lady who led me here the first time and helped me prepare to live here!  What an honor it will be to host her.

Would I be here without her guidance?  I think so because God's calling was so clear.  But would I be the person I am today, if she had not devoted her time, her wisdom and her love to me?  Definitely not.

Thank you Robin Geddings for investing in me.  Thank you for loving me and being tough when you needed to.  I can't wait to see you and meet this team that you and Kim are bringing!   Who knows what God has in store for each of you?!?  We do know one thing.  If we let God work through us, it will be good!

My only wish for your team is that they keep their eyes, their ears, their minds and their hearts open.  I pray for you guys and your time here every day.  I can't wait to meet you at the airport and to walk with you on this new journey!  Yup.  I am crying, thinking of what God has in store for you all.  It is going to be amazing.  I am so blessed to be able to experience it with you!

Here are some photos of my first adventure in Honduras.

My unexpected baptism.  (I did not want to be baptized in Honduras.  But God forced the issue.)

My team after the baptisms

My team in August, 2008
Little did I know that first morning in Honduras, the lady standing to my right, Robin Geddings,
would play a significant role in the rest of my life.
Several other woman who were strangers on this day are now my closest friends and greatest supporters.

The first child I fell in love with in Honduras, Wendi.

4 Fingers

I was thinking more about my first meeting with my new discipleship group.  The first thing we talked about was that each of them had been held up!  They talked about being held up while driving in their cars.  They said there are certain places where it happens all of the time.  One of those places I pass by every now and then.  I passed it last Friday and had my windows open because I was with Walter and Dany after the oil change.

One of the ladies said she had her window "four fingers" down.  Yesterday I was looking at the width of four fingers.  It's about 3 inches.  I only know one other person who uses air conditioning in their car.  Everyone else rolls the windows down or sweats to death.  Some believe AC will make them sick.  Others say it uses too much gas.

Lately I have been a little lax about the windows.  My mechanic scolded me about it.  He said even a crack is too much.  Apparently he is right.  So from now on people who ride with me will have to deal with AC or get out.

The good the bad and the beautiful

First, the bad news.  My sink is leaking from a different pipe and I don't feel well.

Now some good news/bad news.  My friend Deylia who took my place as preschool teacher got a paying job.  This is good news for Deylia and her family, but bad news for Buen Provecho and the kids.  She is an excellent preschool teacher.  It is also bad news for me personally because I was starting to feel like she could really be a good friend.  Now I fear I won't have much time with her to see that friendship develop.

I was told Deylia was offered a job as a housekeeper at a hotel.  While I am happy that she has a paying job now, I see her as someone capable of so much more.  I do not mean to say that housekeeping is not a worthy job.  I just wish Deylia could have a job where she would use her intelligence and the personal skills with which she has been blessed.  But in an economy of 48% unemployment,  I understand you have to take any job you can get.

Now, for the good news.

Lupe played today!  Lupe is about 25 years old.  She doesn't talk, but she is sweet in her mannerisms.  She is able to follow directions.  She is a quiet, gentle soul.  Today I saw a new side of Lupe that was awesome!

Lupe has a little sister, Milagro, who is five years old.  After watching Lupe and Milagro play together I assessed that Lupe's mental age is about four years old.  First they played tag with another little boy who is new and sweet as can be.  He kept coming up to me and cuddling onto my lap or hugging me.  The three of them played tag for about an hour.

Then after they ate the older kids noticed I was taking pictures so they played a game where Lupe and her other sister, Lourdes, held up their arms like a bridge.  The kids passed under the bridge singing a song.  When the song ended whoever was under the bridge got trapped.

I think Lupe had a better time today than she has ever had at Buen Provecho.

Milagro and Cristofer playing tag with Lupe

Lupe's smile

The bridge game

Sisters - Lourdes, Lupe and Milagro

What are younger siblings for?
Flipping over your shoulder of course!

Lourdes and Milagro

Beautiful girls

Junior has been around regularly lately!

Beautiful Angelica

Lorenzo and Jose

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Don Juan's garden at the church

Good neighbors

I think the last time I wrote I said that my neighbor, Fany, often goes to visit her in-laws and gets stuck there for days at a time because of the torrential rains.  It happened again this week.  She left on Wednesday with plans to return Thursday.  Thursday it rained.  Friday it rained.  Saturday she headed home but the car broke down when she was almost here.  She called to say she would be back on Sunday afternoon.

A few hours later I saw the kitchen light in her house turn on.  Then I saw the bedroom light turn on and someone walk past the window.  I thought someone had broken in because I knew Fany and her husband were stuck at his parents' house.

I locked my door and tried to think of a place to hide.  Obviously the robbers didn't know I was home if they were turning on lights and wandering through the house so blatantly.  With the door locked and all of the windows barred I was safe, but what should I do?  I hid in the bathroom and called Fany.  Her phone just rang and rang.

Then I heard a voice outside calling my name.  It was Fany.  Her brother-in-law had offered them a ride home and her phone was dead so she couldn't call.  I told her she scared me to death and had to call next time.

Yesterday we all went to church.  Afterward I had my first meeting with my single ladies discipleship group.  There are only four of us and one wasn't there yesterday.  I don't know any of the other ladies, so it will be nice to get to know new people.  They seemed nice.  They were very kind and encouraging.

Afterward Fany's husband Santos started working on a few things that I needed done around my house.  I bought new faucets for the sinks and a thing to change the electricity so I could plug in my dryer.  Fany said Santos would install everything.  I thought it was a job that maybe I could have done myself.  Little did I know.

First it took hours to put the new plug in for the dryer.  We started at about 2 p.m.  It was dark (6 p.m.) before that was done.  He said the electrical wiring in the house is really screwy and that's what took so long.  I figured that was all for the night, since that one task took so long.  But when I walked into the house he had already taken apart the kitchen sink and discovered dilemma # 2.  The counter tops are rotten.  They were peeling apart below the faucet.  I have noticed the cupboard below smells horrible, but I thought the pipes in the sink must have leaked into the cupboard.  I stuck a bunch of baking soda in there and hoped for the best.

Santos got the new faucets on but said we will need to look for someone to put on a new counter top.  I told him I felt bad.  I imagined the electric outlet would be ten minutes and the faucets maybe a half hour.  He finished at 10 p.m. on the dot.  The bathroom faucet was a pain in the neck too.  I walked in and the whole since was on the floor!  That was not a good sign.

Anyway, after 8 hours of work I can now use my dryer and I have pretty, new faucets in the bathroom and kitchen.  Fany told Santos he couldn't go to bed until he cut the grass.  But then she gave in and told him it could wait until morning.  (She was joking.)

Oh, I forgot the part when we thought everything was done and they were eating a late dinner.  I ate too and was washing dishes when I discovered a leak under the sink.  So Santos finished his dinner and came back over.  He tried to adjust the pipe and the whole thing fell apart in his hand.  I didn't understand exactly what happened, but the pipe had some sort of internal corrosion.  It seemed like every step forward was 3 steps back.  I figured I'd be without a kitchen sink until we could buy a new pipe.  But he said he fixed it with tape.  He also said if it leaks again, don't be afraid to let him know.  Sounds like he is not sure how long the tape will hold up.

I have great neighbors!  Would your neighbor spend 8 hours on a Sunday fixing things around your house?  He refused to accept anything in return, but I know Santos is one of the few people here who love my cookies and cakes.  So I will be doing some baking.  Most Hondurans complains that North American treats are too sweet, but apparently Santos has a sweet tooth.

I told Fany we cannot ask Santos to do any more work on this house for a long time.  She said the roof is still leaking.  I said if we ask him to climb onto the roof he will fall through.  (He did fall through 2 years ago when he tried to fix a leak the last time I lived here.  It scared us all to death.  But he said he was fine.)  The roof can leak for a while.

A speck of sunshine

Woke up at 5 a.m. today and puttered around (as my Mom would say) until I noticed something rare and exciting.  Sunshine!

For the past few weekends Fany has been stuck at her in-laws house because she goes for a one night visit and it rains so hard that it is not safe for them to travel back home.  This week she was supposed to come home Thursday, but today is Saturday...  I texted her and told her to hurry home if it was as sunny on her end as it is here.

Then I got to work washing clothes.  You never realize how helpful a dryer is until you don't have one.  Especially for bath towels which get stinky before they get dry, or sheets which have cat hair stuck to them unless you pass them through the dryer.

By 10 a.m. the clouds started rolling in, but the clothes are all washed.  Just hoping the rain will hold off until they dry.

I have become a strategic washer.  The key is small loads.  My washer doesn't like big loads.  The smallest setting with only a few things at a time works best.  Never pass mid-way full.

First sheets so that everything else can just be hung around them on the clothes line.  Then darks because they are normally more heavy jeans, which take longer to dry.  You never know how much sun you might get.  Set jeans on lawn chairs in the sun and wash lights, then towels.  By that time jeans are part way dry.  Move the jeans onto the clothes line to finish drying there and make room for towels on the lawn chairs.  That is how I wash and dry clothes in Honduras.

Thank God I at least have a washing machine.  I am grateful for it, even if I do have to fill it myself with buckets of water and the hose.  When I first moved here I didn't have a washer.  Washing clothes by hand in the pila was a nightmare.  Literally.  It was very stressful.  But now I appreciate my washer more than ever.

It is now 10:30 and the sky is dark.  Welcome to laundry day in Honduras.

Do you speak English?

At the gym yesterday someone asked if I am French.  That's one I haven't heard before.  I think it's because he heard me grumbling when the trainer told me to do two more repetitions and I thought I was done.  Grumbling can sound like a French accent in Spanish.

Anyway, my Spanish is still not perfect which is why I loved the following conversation so much.

Samuel (4 years old) comes up to me with a shocked/perplexed/this can't be true look on his face and asks, "You speak English?!?"

Confused and wondering how I've spent almost every day for over a year with this kid and he doesn't know my mother tongue is not Spanish I hesitantly say, "Yes."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, " shaking his head adamantly.

"Yes.  That's why my Spanish sounds different than yours."

"It's not different."

"Yes Samuel.  My Spanish sounds different from yours."

"Not to me."

"I love you Samuel."

He hugs me, "I love you too."  And runs off to play.

Samuel

Tamalitos

We had a little dengue scare with Laura, Fany's 2 year old daughter, over the weekend.  After seeing Dr. Gustavo Friday she got blood work on Saturday.  The blood work showed her white blood cell count was low, which is a sign of dengue.

Yesterday we took Laura back to Dr. Gustavo and he said she is fine.  She cried and screamed, "I want to go!"  the whole time she was in his office.  As the Dr was listening to her lungs Laura screamed, "Save me Mommy! Save me!"  A friend who was in the waiting room said the boy who was next in line looked scared while he was listening to all of Laura's dramatics.  Finally the Dr. announced she was fine and we all went home.  Today she seems to be back to her normal self.

She has taken to knocking on my door lately and asking if she can come in.  She's a pretty amazing kid.  At two years told she has filled a whole blank pad of paper with drawings.  Every page is full, not just a scribble here and there.  I gave her a big box of crayons and she has taken perfect care of them.  Not one is broken.  She can even draw hearts, which I remember struggling with when I was much older than two.  Yesterday her theme was pink surf boards.  She told her mom she wants to go to the beach and surf.  We have no idea where she got that idea from.  The girl has a very active mind.

Last night she came in and announced that she was taking off her shoes, which meant she wanted to be lifted up onto my bed.  (Laura is very tall, but my bed is humongous.)  As she sat there playing with Jetty she told me, "I can help you clean your house Mary Lynn."  Nothing like hearing from a two year old that your house needs to be cleaned.

So, at 7:30 this morning I was sweeping and mopping and dusting.  It was a good thing I did because as soon as I pulled into the driveway tonight Laura was ready for another visit.  I told her that I had cleaned my house this morning because it was - as I struggled to think of the word for "messy" in Spanish Laura helped me out by saying it was "dirty".  Thanks Laura.  Her mom is the one I told you walks around with a mop in her hand.

Last night Fany made tamalitos, which are like meatless tamales that are sweet.  We eat them in September when the corn is harvested.  Thanks to Fany I have been living on them.  I am pretty sure they are not healthy, especially smothered in mantequilla, which is too delicious to put into words, but kind of like a yogurty, creamy, butter.  We walked to the store to buy the mantequilla and she had me try the cheese there.  That was not wise.  Now all I can think about is the cheese at that little store which is dangerously close to my house with its dangerously scrumptious cheese.

Every year the town where Fany's husband is from hosts a free corn festival.  It is famous.  People bring their corn and then eat different corn products all night long, from corn on the cobb roasted over a fire, to tamalitos, to atol which is a corn-based drink served hot that people commonly drink at bedtime.  I was hoping to go this year but it was cancelled.  Apparently the corn suffered as much as the beans.  Nobody has any corn to spare for the festival.  I am really hoping to go next year.  It sounds like a once in a lifetime experience.

After dinner Fany, one of her friends and I sat outside in the yard long after dark laughing and talking about silly things.  It was really nice.  Fany is only a few years younger than I am.  We were friends when I lived here the first time, but we didn't hang out as much.  Now we pass back and forth between our two houses and hang out in our pjs like one big family.  It is too bad that Fany's husband works so far and has to be gone so often, but I do enjoy my lady time with Fany.

Today I learned that Marlin moved.  She hasn't been around the church much lately, so I didn't realize that she left.

The gym now has three guards outside.  I asked a lady who works there why the men are outside.  She said they are private body guards of people who are inside working out.  They are dressed in military clothes.  That means some important people must be working out at my gym.  I keep trying to figure out who the guards belong to, but so far I have no idea.  My car is definitely safer these days, with three men and their huge guns standing next to it.  Not too worried about another break in at the gym.

Tired

I don't post things like this often.  But I decided after a few days of mulling it over to share this with you.  It is, after all, part of my experience here in Honduras.  Not all of it is pretty.  So here goes:

I am exhausted.  More mentally than physically.  I am so thankful for the few people I have learned are worthy of trust.  I am also thankful for God giving me peace in situations when normally I would be upset.  One good thing is, I am not staying awake nights dwelling on anything because I am so darn tired.

Ever since I moved here I noticed a difference in what is culturally acceptable as far as gossip.  Gossip where I come from is never acceptable.  I am not saying it didn't happen.  But specifically within my church we were asked to sign a covenant.  One of the things on the covenant was that we would have each other's backs.  This meant if we heard someone gossiping we would politely ask them to stop.  It was a good means of checks and balances because, let's face it, gossip is so easy to fall into.

When I first got to Honduras I felt overwhelmed by gossip.  Asphyxiated.  It came from places I never imagined.  At that time I never thought people gossiped about me.  But still, it was rampant.  I asked advice of someone and told her that I was accustomed to asking people to stop.  She told me that would be rude.  I asked if I could leave the conversation.  She said that would be rude as well.  She told me the best I could do is sit through it until the conversation ended.

After that I got to know a few more people, specifically my landlords in the mountains.  I told them I was feeling uncomfortable about gossip.  They said that gossip is never allowed around them or in their home.  Whew!  That felt good to know.  I had a new safe place to go where I would not hear or be allowed to gossip.

Of course as time went on, the gossip has come to include me.  I also see a lot more talking behind people's backs.  It is so ugly.  I feel like I am in 8th grade all over again.  I have honestly never experienced anything like this in my adult life.

Since I moved here people constantly told me, "You cannot trust so-and-so."  But soon the list of people I was told not to trust became so extensive I decided to figure it out on my own.  Now that I have had some time to figure it out, it saddens me to see how few people are "walking the walk" here.

If the gossip is not about me it is always someone.  For a long time it was about a lady who is one of my closest friends.  I honestly have no idea what it is they say about her because one person started to tell me, but I asked them to stop.  Recently someone told me they think my friend has changed a lot from the way she used to be, inferring the gossiped about story.  I didn't bother to say that I had no idea what they were talking about.

My personal experience with my friend has been nothing but positive.  That is why she is my friend.  She, also, doesn't tolerate gossip.  So we don't talk about all of the stuff that goes on around us every day.  We talk about ourselves, our lives, our friendship, what God wants for us.  I think it is a healthy friendship.

Other people don't like our friendship.  They gossip and say she uses me to buy her things.  Little do they know I don't buy her things.  I do buy diapers for her daughter.  That is all.  I also bought her a birthday present, but I do that for all of my friends.  In my opinion, it shouldn't matter to anyone else if I choose to buy something for my friend.  I don't keep a tally of what others buy for their friends.

My friend and I are excluded a lot.  At first it was surprising.  Then hurtful.  Now it happens so often that I am used to it.  I do feel bad for her.  We have never discussed it, except sometimes she will ask if I went to a gathering that everyone else was invited to.  I just say no and it stops there.

So lately my life has been re-living 8th grade.  Eighth grade sucked the first time around.  It is a little easier now that I can look around me and understand why people do the hurtful/immature things they do.  Some are simply uneducated.  Some are insecure.  Some are trying to make friends and don't know how in a healthy way.  Some are looking for control.  I know that.

Maybe this will all blow over.  Maybe it won't.  Until then I do have people I can trust and I will stick to spending my time with them.  Overall I am happy and enjoying my life more than ever - another reason I think I can deal with this in a more healthy way.  But today I am tired.

Yesterday I found some comfort in this.  It is from a blog by Adam Mosely, who is also a missionary.  At the end were hundreds of comments from people all over the world.  Many from Honduras, so maybe this is a cultural thing.  The  blog entry is entitled, "Ten Things a Missionary Won't Tell You".  I decided to tell you one:

9. IT’S HARD TO TRUST PEOPLE.

WHAT THEY SAY

I’m just looking for some good strategic partners. 

WHAT THEY WANT TO SAY

There are good people here, there really are. But I have seen the worst of humanity in my work here – much of it from people I worked with and trusted. Just when you think you know someone, they stab you in the back, the front, and both sides. I’ve gotten to where I simply don’t trust anyone. My guard is up, and it’s not coming down. I refuse to get burned again. If that means I have to do everything myself, then so be it. -  Adam Mosely

Thank God I have not lost trust to the extent Adam has.  Or maybe he wrote this on a day when he, too, was feeling really tired.  I know I cannot and should not do everything by myself, as he says.  Now I know this is a typical feeling that missionaries experience.  I am not alone in it.  All the more reason to praise God for the people He has placed in my life to support me and also for the way He is guiding me through it. - ML