My first choque

Woke up this morning with a horrible headache and nausea.  Didn't feel like getting out of bed, but had a busy day ahead.

I reminded Dr. Gustavo to talk about Clara needing blood, as he asked.  Then turned on his program and heard the announcement.  We got five calls from that one announcement.  One of the people wanted money.  But the rest all just wanted to help.  So far not even a third of the people who have tried to give are eligible.  I am also surprised by how many people can't give because they have had hepatitis, dengue, malaria, or other crazy diseases which excludes them.

I got my residency paperwork started this morning.  Then picked up Fabricio to go back to Red Cross to meet the lady who responded to Dr. Gustavo's request for donations on his radio show.  But I ended up getting in my first car accident.  It was very minor, but the guy was a major jerk.  I think he might do this as a way to scam money.

We were merging into heavy traffic that was barely moving.  A taxi comes up on my right in a lane that does not exist and is honking like a maniac.  But this is typical in Honduras, so I don't think much of it.

However, as we merge onto the big road, he doesn't back off.  I had already merged into traffic and he tried to force me to serve into the lane to the left of me.  Luckily we were barely moving when he stuck his arm out the window and started pointing to the side of his car.  Neither Fabricio or I felt any impact.  He basically side swiped his own car with the corner of my right front bumper.  Then he sat there staring at me.  So I just stared back.  Neither one of us got out of our cars.

I was so grateful to be with Fabricio!  99.9% of the time I am alone in my car.  If I had to have a car accident, I am glad that it was that .01% of the time that I had someone with me.  In fact, Fabricio is the only young man I know who goes to the gym every day.  He is not tall, but he has the muscles to prove it, so he was the perfect passenger.

I called the insurance guy, who I just met yesterday for the first time.  I'm sure he's thrilled he insured me when I call him with my first accident 24 hours later!  He said he was close by and on his way.  He called the main office and had me on the phone with them until my line cut out.  Meanwhile the taxi driver is telling me to just pay him 1,500 Lempiras ($75) and I can go.  I told him there is no way I am paying him any money at all because it was his fault.

Every taxi that passed pulled in front of me and stopped, blocking me in as if I was going to try to escape.  They would get out and look, then get back in their cars and go.  I was a little nervous they would try to gang up on me.  But I think they could see that he had nudged into me while I was already in my lane.

The police came and asked me to move my car, but the insurance guy said I needed to wait for him to get there.  It's 4:30 rush hour traffic on a road that is always nuts when it is not rush hour.  I understand the policeman's point.  I was respectful but I didn't move.

The police asked for my license.  (Here licenses don't have addresses, so I felt fine with that.)  He went and talked to the taxi driver.  Then he came back.  I said I am not paying that guy anything.  He was beeping his horn, driving too aggressively, and this is his fault.  The cop said no, you are not paying anyone anything.  He asked if I was okay, if Fabricio is okay, and if my car is okay.  I told him everything was fine.  My car didn't even have a scratch.  It was just dirty where the guy side swiped himself onto me.

The police said I can't let you hold up traffic any longer.  If everything is okay, you may go.  He held up the left lane of traffic, let me pull around the taxi, and I left.  My insurance guy arrived just as I was pulling away.  It's nice to know he is willing to come fast if I need him.

Fabricio and I made it to the Red Cross in time to meet the lady who came as a result of the radio request.  She was really nice.  Clara's daughter, Karla, was there too.  I remember the last time she had to go through this with her mom it was really hard on Karla.  She couldn't eat and she was on the verge of tears all of the time.  But let me tell you, Karla looked great!  She was calm and smiling.  She had a sense of peace about her that can only come from God as she told us that the doctors have said they will do all they can do, but only God can save her mother.  She said with a smile that she has faith that her mother will recover, it doesn't matter what the doctors say.

Fabricio decided that rather than stay and go home with Karla, he wanted to go with me to my weekly prayer meeting.  We prayed for Clara and for Fabricio as he begins his next phase of life.  (He is moving to Spain on March 20th!)  Then I took him out to dinner.  I was thinking we would go someplace that he could get some typical 20 year old young man food.  But he decided he wanted to try sushi for the first time.  Since it was 2x1 and I am now anemic, (Boy!  That is a great excuse to eat sushi!!)  I thought it was an excellent idea.

I had forgotten the people at the sushi place all know Clara because they took swimming lessons together when I taught last year.  Within minutes the restaurant staff were on the phone calling friends and family to donate blood!  As of today we have 11 donors who already gave blood.  We have three more that are going to try.  We'll see what happens with the sushi people.

I think it was good for Fabricio to see them jump into action.  He tends to carry heavy burdens and I believe he felt like he was the only one taking action.  I know he hasn't been sleeping much and he spends all day on the phone trying to contact people to donate.  I hope it lifted his burden when the people from Usami stopped working and huddled around us, bouncing ideas off each other about how they could get more people to donate blood.  At least he could see they care.

After I got home I was on FB and Fabricio sent me a note.  In Honduras it is very normal to say "Te quiero mucho" which means "I love you".  Fabricio is working on his English so sometimes we chat on FB in English.  He thanked me for driving him around today.  I thanked him for being willing to organize everything and all of his hard work.  Then he said he was going to bed and wrote "I love you" in English.  Fabricio is so shy!  I didn't dare explain that "Te quiero mucho" is not the same sentiment as "I love you", so I just replied, "Te quiero mucho!"  Someday when he is relaxed and not going to be embarrassed out of his mind I will explain the difference.  But not tonight.

Fabricio fights for Clara

I can't remember the last time I felt this exhausted.  But I want to write everything down while it is still freshly jumbled in my head.

Last night I was on FB, chatting with some boys from Iglesia en Transformación until almost 3 a.m.  They couldn't sleep because they are worried about our friend Clara.

If you have been walking with me for a while, you know Clara as the woman who got Leukemia, was sick in the hospital, I went to visit her and puked all over the famous Hospital Escuela, she got better, got pregnant, got worse, stopped all meds, got better, gave birth, lost the baby 3 days later, was told she was free of Leukemia about a year ago, got pregnant again a few months ago, was hospitalized, lost the second baby, and now is in very grave condition in the hospital again.

This is Clara in May 2014 - healthy, happy and so proud she learned how to swim!

Clara always smiled when she swam.
She was one of the last to learn.  It was scary and challenging.
But Clara learned to swim!

Clara with her two daughters.
Karla, on the right, became a very good swimmer.
She loved sharing this experience with her mother.

Now that you have met Clara, let me tell you a little more about her.  She is someone who taught me about faith.  When she was first diagnosed with Leukemia we were very scared.  It was Clara who stood strongest.  Later she said that her faith did waiver.  All I can say is that I never saw it.  Clara's words and actions, even at the most difficult times, were always positive.  She is a woman of great faith.

On Sunday when I got home from the retreat, Fany said that she talked to someone at church who told her Clara was very, very sick and needed 10 pints of blood.  In Honduras I often hear the word "grave" to describe someone's condition.  It seems like sometimes the term is thrown around too loosely.  I hoped that was the case for Clara.  But I was worried.

Then last night the boys started writing to me on Facebook.  One of them went Saturday to donate blood.  Let me take a minute to tell you about this boy.  His name is Fabricio and if you read my blog regularly, you may remember him as the boy who went with me the last time we attempted to give blood.  It was a horrible, all day event at Hospital Escuela - the toughest hospital in Tegucigalpa.  We had tickets for my first soccer game that day and we almost missed the game because Fabricio was not going to leave until he completed his mission.

That is how I first bonded with Fabricio and learned what a faithful friend he is.  He had never met Clara, but he was willing to give up the soccer game and the ticket he already paid for to help someone he didn't know.  I was impressed and have respected Fabricio from that day forward.

Since that time Fabricio has come out of his shell a little.  He learned to play the drums and is now part of the church band.  Several times when he was feeling down, he has reached out to me and we talk.  I am honored to help.  Although we no longer attend the same church, our relationship is strong.  Last week he said that I am the only one who knows, but he is moving to Spain.  His mother lives in Spain and his brother left in December to live with her.  In March Fabricio will go too.  I am excited for him.  It will be a much better environment for him.  In Honduras he is lonely and I don't need to tell you about the danger and the economy.  I predict Fabricio will thrive in Spain.

Last night Fabricio was really wound up.  He had gone to give blood on Friday.  Luis (another boy I admire immensely) and Kevin went yesterday, but Fabricio is worried that Clara is going to die and it seems to him that nobody else is doing much about it.  Now Clara needs TWENTY pints of blood.  He was calling all of his friends and asking them to donate blood.  He got one friend who goes to school right by my house to donate, so I agreed to pick up both boys and take them to donate.

After we had a game plan in place, Fabricio said he was feeling better and could sleep.  I could tell he was still anxious.

Today I picked them up and we headed out, each of us thinking we knew where we were going, but we got lost.  Luckily Fany's husband, Santos, is in town and with a couple of phone calls we made it to La Cruz Roja (the Red Cross).  I was amazed at what a different experience it was to give blood at the Red Cross as opposed to our last experience at Hospital Escuela.  There was NO wait and the people were super nice!  Unfortunately, first my blood did not want to come out at all for the finger stick test, and then they said my Hemoglobin was too low.

I am surprised because I ate more meat at the retreat last weekend that I have eaten in months and every meal had salad as well as vegetables.  But they said I cannot give blood and will not be eligible to try again for three months.  I was super bummed.  Really upset.  I wanted to cry but I didn't want to upset Fabricio.  I am one of the healthiest eaters I know!  How could this be?

Fabricio's friend was able to donate.  We learned that 8 other people had come earlier in the day, but only 2 of the eight were able to donate.  Which means that Clara has only received 3 of the 20 pints of blood she needs.

Fabricio was not satisfied with this result.  He said he was going to get back on Facebook and keep asking people to donate.  But so far that has not been effective.  Here are some photos he was using for his campaign:

Luis is the first photo.  Fabricio and his sign are the second photo.

Since Fabricio was not feeling content with his efforts I figured I could walk along side him for the rest of the day.  I mentioned that one of the nurses had told me to ask the police to donate.  Fabricio said that he had seen a lot of military men come in when he donated, so we talked about where we could go and how we could get the police or military police to donate.

First we stopped at one police post where I felt really out of place.  The people were super nice, but the room was tiny and they brought in someone "handcuffed" behind his back with a shoelace, sat him down next to me and started interrogating him.  I did feel that God was with us though because as the guy at the desk said he would need to talk to his boss, the boss walked right in.  Then the boss said he would need to talk to his boss and at that moment the phone rang with his boss on the other end.  So he talked to his boss and told us to come back in the morning when there would be more people gathered before they headed out for their shifts.  Police in Honduras can take time from their work day to give blood if they choose to!  While it suits us well on this occasion, I am not sure I like the concept overall, considering there are more homicides here than any place on earth, and almost none of them are solved.  But now is not the time for me to preach about that.

They told us we should go to a bigger post where there would be more people meandering around.  So we went, but it was closed.  The people at the gate told us there is a specific place to go with social workers who keep a list of blood donors.  They gave us directions and told us to go tomorrow during business hours.  We went to one more small police post and they told us to come back at 6:30 a.m. so we can talk to the head guy before role call at 7:30 a.m.

So that is the plan.  We also stopped by Dr. Gustavo's office.  That was my brainstorm.  I was thinking about my low hemoglobin and said that I was going to ask Dr. Gustavo about how to fix it in case Clara is still needing blood in May, when I am eligible to try again.  Then I realized Dr. Gustavo has a radio program which a lot of people listen to every day.  I told Fabricio that we were not going to say a word about the radio program, but if it was God's plan, Dr Gustavo would mention it himself.  And guess what!?!?!?!!!!!!  He asked for the information about how to donate so that he can share it with his listeners tomorrow!  I almost jumped out of my seat, I was so excited.  Fabricio and I believe that could be a big help.

Tomorrow at 8:30 I have to call and remind Dr Gustavo to talk about Clara.  At 11 a.m. I have a meeting about renewing my residency.  Then Fabricio and I will go to the office of social services to see if we can find more donors.

It is crazy to realize you live in a place where you can simply die if you don't have enough people close to you to donate the blood you need.  Blood can be purchased, but Clara needs so much...  And blood is really expensive.

Fabricio and I are talking about giving blood regularly, even when we don't have friends in the hospital.  It feels like the right thing to do.  Especially since the Red Cross makes it easy (if you don't have low hemoglobin) with no wait and a comfortable environment.

It is such an honor to know young men like Luis and Fabricio.  Against all odds, they have grown into incredible examples for the rest of the world, young and old.  I am proud to be part of their lives and will continue to do anything I can to support them.

Please keep Clara and her family in your prayers.  Praise God for people like Fabricio who puts his whole life on hold to fight for the life of someone he still has never spoken to.  And pray that people will respond as Dr. Gustavo speaks on the radio tomorrow while Fabricio and I go back out hunting for blood.

On a different note, the fire season is here again.  The mountains are full of fires and the city is getting full of smoke.  And my house is full of ants.

Climbing Mountains

My heart is so full it could explode!  I have so much to write about I don't know where to start.

Thursday I went to the 4 day retreat for members of Honduran Fellowships of Missionaries and Ministries.  It is through this organization that I will be able to maintain my residency in Honduras.  I also have health care now!  HFMM has over 300 members.  Over 200 came to the retreat!

I kept comparing who I am now with who I was in November when I attended a different retreat for women through WOP.  Sometimes I feel like a completely new person, and in some ways I am.  Sometimes I think I just rediscovered who I was to begin with, before I came to Honduras three years ago.  Both of those concepts are true in different ways.

God has blessed me with so much spiritual healing through my new pastor, Pastora Ruth, that I am not the same person I was in November, the first time I walked into her church.  Not even close.  I have learned and am still learning who I am in God and this makes me a new person.

At the same time, I am remembering the person I was when I was happiest and most fulfilled.  I was self confident.  I was respected.  I was competent.  I haven't felt like I am any of those things in a long time.  Too long.

A woman I met at the retreat is rescuing children and abused women.  She is doing big things all over Honduras.  She educates thousands of people each year, and leads the leaders of this country when it comes to the problem of domestic violence, child abuse and rape.  She is amazing.

People have been telling me for a while that I should meet her, that we have a lot in common.  At that time I didn't know all she was doing and how important she is.  When we were introduced she explained the basics of what she does and I said, "That is very much like what I used to do in Chicago."  Later I attended a workshop she taught and she explained everything that she is doing.  Teaching the police, leading the leaders, and at the same time rescuing those in need.  I was in awe.

She said, "There is no better feeling than running up a mountain with the police to rescue an abused woman.  You find her huddled in a corner, not believing that you are really able to help her and you have to tell her, 'We are here for you.  We came here to help you.  I am going to help you.'  You just hold her and tell her that over and over."

As this heroic woman talked about running up the mountain and embracing the abused woman (who had been to the police four times after her husband repeatedly almost killed her) she demonstrated how she held the woman by wrapping herself around me.  Many people in the workshop were brought to tears.  I was too.

As I was leaving the retreat I talked to her.  (Go me!!!  In November I would never have dared to talk to her after I found out how awesome she really is.)  I said, "I think you have changed my life.  Remember when you told the story about running up the mountain to rescue to abused woman?"

She said, "You were the abused woman?"

I said, "No.  I used to run up mountains.  But I haven't in a long time, and I forgot that I ever could.  Your words helped me to remember what makes my heart beat.  I remember now who I am and what I am capable of.  Thank you."

Yesterday I got home from the retreat and I called Pastor Ruth.  We had an appointment to meet today, but she got too busy at work, so I met with her co-pastor, Pastor Paysen.  He is a really cool German man who understands some of the difficulties of living in another country.  And he speaks English, so we can talk easily.  I can confide in him the same as I do with Pastor Ruth, so I didn't mind at all meeting with Pastor Paysen instead.

I said that I know Ruth was very clear that she wanted me to stop ministering and have a time to receive.  But I believe that I have grown and healed enough to begin serving again, and if they are in agreement I would like to start talking with some ministries.

We talked for a long time.  Turned out we were all on the same page about everything, which was really nice.  I would have been okay if we weren't.  I trust them and would have followed anything they asked of me.  But, it's nice that they see things the same way I do.

After meeting with Pastor Paysen I called a lady I met in October.  Everyone who knows her says she is very special.  Some people from my home church have met her as well and thought she was amazing.  She said that she and I will sit down and talk about if there is a place for me in her ministry.  She even sounded excited, which made me very happy.

My prayer before the call was two things:
1) That my offer to serve in her ministry would be an answer to her prayer
2) That there will be a place there where I can use my God given gifts to do things that are challenging, but that I love to do so I can feel my heart beat with passion like it used to.

Back in November I had such low self confidence, I didn't dare speak to the people I admired.  I thought they wouldn't want to be bothered by me.  But look at me now!  I spoke to the awesome lady at the retreat (We are even friends on Facebook!  Ha ha.  I know that is silly, but it's a big step for me.) and I called the lady whom I admire greatly and said (with confidence!) I would like to lend a hand at her ministry.

I am grateful to the people who have helped me get to this place.  People from my home church in the US, specifically my mentor, Robin, and my friend, Kim were the first to step in.  Pastor Ruth has been the biggest blessing of all.  God placed me into her hands just at the right time.  There are friends here who walk with me on a daily basis like Fany and Carol.  They know when I need space to grow, but are there the instant I need a friend.  God is using this experience to bring me closer to my family too.  For the first time in six years, I think they are starting to understand that maybe it wasn't such a totally insane and horrible thing for me to move to Honduras.  I'm also grateful to people I don't get to talk to as much as I'd like, but I know are praying for me.  Those people include, but are not limited to, my friend Ana and her family here in Honduras, Jody, Mary, Julia, Heather, Arlene, Pat, Sandrine, Danielle, my Aunts, and more that I can't think of right now but are no less important.  Thanks guys!

I have reached base camp.  My bags are full of tools.  I have trained hard.  Can't wait to start climbing mountains again.

Left and right are Daniel and Rocio, new friends
In the middle are my friend Carol and me!

Single missionaries in their 40's.  It was a small group.

Pastor John, head of HFMM
and his pastor, Pastor Ken

Brad and Rebekah came from the US to lead us in worship

We worshiped!

I had the best prayer group of them all.
We were asked to keep it down because our prayer was too loud.
Ooops!

Whispers

Fany and I have been whispering about this for a few weeks now, but today it is all over the news so I guess it's okay to write about it publicly.

Fany comes from a small town where the head of the biggest gang of narcos live.  Her family was supposed to come and visit but then things started going nuts there.  The local people said that the head of the gang and his brother turned themselves in to the US government because they were about to be killed by rivals here in Honduras.  The problem was that nobody could confirm it.

Therefore rivals were going through the villages, turning everything upside down, looking for this man and his brother.  They were going house to house, which meant that everyone was holed up, not daring to leave their home.  Fany's parents couldn't visit because they had to stay and protect their home.

A couple of days ago it was finally confirmed publicly that the man and his brother had turned themselves in and were being held in Miami, FL.  They left because they feared for their lives if they stayed in Honduras.  Today the news is talking about all of the homes and cars and businesses that are being seized by the President of Honduras because it was related to this gang.

The strange thing to me is that they don't even pretend that they are going to distribute the things they seize to the poor or needy.  The film clips show the president talking about sending furniture to his home!

What a shame.

Hopefully things will calm down soon so that Fany's parents can have some peace again.  But there seems to be a lot more still to be confiscated.

And in regular news, the price of eggs is frozen for 30 days, there is less cheese than normal because the lack of rain means less for the cows to feed on and therefore, they are not making as much milk, and the weather is "beneficial" for migraines.  Not sure if that means beneficial for causing migraines, or beneficial for those who suffer from migraines.

I don't know if I will ever get used to living in a place where it is not safe to speak in a normal tone about politics and the leaders of the country.  Families learn to talk in code over the telephone and whisper, even in our own backyard.

Collectivos

Last week Fany told me that her best friend, Cynthia, called and said that she was almost killed.  I asked what happened, but Cynthia hadn't given any details, just that she almost was killed in a cab.  Last night when I was talking with Fany she told me what happened to Cynthia.

I know Cynthia pretty well because she lives up in the mountains but she goes to school and works down in the city, so she frequently spends the night with Fany and we all hang out together.  She made a special point to be here for my birthday, and gave me a pretty necklace with matching earrings, so I guess I could say she is one of my friends.

In Honduras there are two kinds of taxis.  One is the kind you are accustomed to.  But there is also a collectivo, which means that the driver starts at one main point and goes to another designated point.  It costs less because it "collects" people along the way until the cab is full.  You can get dropped off anywhere along the way between the two points.  It's faster than a bus and cheaper than a private taxi, but I know a LOT of people who have been robbed in collectivos.  I know two people who have been robbed more than once.

Cynthia got into the collectivo with a chicken and her purse crossed over her shoulder.  She sat in the front seat, thinking that was safest.  Later a man got in behind her.  When they came to the place where Cynthia wanted to get out she asked the driver to let her out there.  The driver stopped, and Cynthia reached out the window to open the cab door from the outside, as is common here.  But the man in the back told the driver to keep going, nobody is getting out here.  The man in the back reached around in front of Cynthia and tried to smash something into her nose.  We are assuming it was a chemical to make her unconscious.

The guy kept yelling at the driver to drive and they kept going another 5 minutes with this man trapping Cynthia's arms and trying to shove his hand (which held something in it) toward her nose.  Cynthia kept trying to get out.  Finally when they got to Hospital Escuela the traffic slowed and there were people on the street.  Cynthia was screaming but nobody came to help.  She knew that was her best opportunity to get out, so she tried one more time, reaching out through the half open window.  The driver slammed on his brakes harder than ever and the guy in the back lost his grip of Cynthia.  She dove out of the cab and the driver took off.  But then she saw the cab stop again and the man come running for her, so she ran into the crowd of people and escaped on a bus.

That is so scary!  She could have been kidnapped and never seen again.

Instead she landed on the chicken and it exploded all over the road but she got away safe and with all of her possessions.  She was pretty banged up from the struggle with the man and from landing on the road, but she is alive.  Cynthia has always been an independent person who kind of does her own thing, but Fany said this experience really changed her.  She only takes buses now.  (Which aren't much safer, except you are in a crowd.)

I am blessed to have received good advice in all of my time in Honduras.  I rode in collectivos in 2009, when it was a little safer.  But when I moved here Jairo said that I am not allowed to ride in public transportation (buses, taxis or collectivos) and I have kept that as a personal rule for myself even though Jairo moved to the US more than a year ago.  Now that I have more North American friends I see them doing things that I would never do, and they are fine.  Sometimes they ask why I am so cautious.  I just tell them it was the way I was taught to live here and I don't want to change it.

Being a Mom

Yesterday I woke up with a cold.  Laura got a cold the day before, so I wasn't surprised.  I felt pretty crappy yesterday, but Fany brought me a yummy dinner and a special drink she knows I love at night.  It's a recipe that her mom makes by hand.  Her mom roasts cocoa beans and corn, then crushes them into a powder with some sugar.  Then Fany just adds warm milk and it makes the thickest, yummiest hot cocoa you've have ever had.

I took my favorite cold medicine, Sudagrip tea, and went to bed.  Today I woke up feeling much better.  Sudagrip tea can fix almost anything.

Today I thought Laura and Fany weren't home because I never heard them outside.  Usually I can hear at least a couple shrieks from Laura each day.  I was surprised when Fany showed up with ginger tea, our latest addiction, in the late afternoon.

She said she had been cuddled with her daughter all morning because Laura was not getting any better.  But she was due to go back to the doctor today anyway.  I offered to give them a ride.  As we were leaving I looked over the meds she was taking and realized there were two of the same thing.  Then Fany realized the pharmacy gave her two of one thing (they were packaged differently) but she didn't have the antibiotic at all.  So the antibiotics the doctor prescribed on Wednesday were never purchased and she was giving her daughter a double dose of the anti-inflammatory medicine.

She felt horrible!  She said the doctor was going to yell at her.  I told her no, he is not going to yell at you.  She said lots of doctors do.  I told her he would understand it's a mistake and we will get the correct medicine right away.  She said she is a bad mother.  I assured her she is not!

We got to the doctor's office early, so there was no line.  (There are no appointments here.)  Laura has stopped screaming and crying the second she enters his office, which is nice.  She was calm and relaxed, partly because she was too sick to do anything.

Dr. Gustavo joked with me about leaving his church and going to my new church.  He told me not to worry, everything will always remain the same between us (I will continue to be the pediatrician's oldest patient).  I was very grateful for that.

Then he started digging for antibiotic samples for Laura.  I could see he wasn't really finding what he wanted and I promised him we would go directly to the pharmacy to get what he prescribed on Wednesday.  He said yes, she needs them "as soon as possible" in English.

Laura took the medicine without problems because she understands she is really sick.  Her fever was 102.  She vomited once afterward, but it was 50 minutes later, so the medicine should have gotten into her system.

Tonight I made dinner for her Fany.  She invited me to sit and eat with her.  Afterward I was at home and she called.  She said Laura is having an allergic reaction.  I said I will be right there.  So I went over, expecting Laura's throat to be closing or something drastic.  Laura had what looked like little bug bites on the bottoms of her feet and under her forearms.  She said they itched, but it didn't seem to be too itchy.

We discussed whether or not we should call the doctor.  Finally I decided that yes, we should,  because she was supposed to take her next dose at 6 a.m.   I know that sometimes allergic reactions can be stronger the second time and then what would we do?  So we called Dr. Gustavo and he answered.  (Fany said he always answers.)  He was eating dinner but he told Fany that Laura will be fine and she should still take the dose in the morning with an antihistamine 15 minutes ahead of time.

So Fany should be able to sleep a little better tonight.  Except Laura is so sick she keeps whimpering in her sleep, which makes Fany nervous.  Laura isn't talking at all because her throat is so sore, she just whimpers.  We sat and talked quietly until almost 11 p.m.  Laura was sleeping fitfully as Fany rubbed her back.  I could tell Fany didn't want to be alone.  Poor Fany is going to have another long night, I think.

I came back home to find my cat having an asthma attack.  She is usually fine, now that I have moved into the city.  But her asthma does not like cold weather.  Last night it turned cold and has been cold and super windy ever since.  So now I have my own baby to take care of.

I told Fany that I will come over tomorrow morning when she gives Laura the medicine if she wants me to.  And we knew if we call Dr. Gustavo he will always answer.  It's hard being a mom, but Fany is a good one.

His love is like a Vast Ocean

Today I had a really great quiet time.  It was interesting because I was supposed to be busy with doing things with other people, but each of them cancelled and so I was left with time alone.

Then I was going to wash laundry because the weather is sunny and breezy - it would dry in a snap!  But I decided there wasn't quite a load.  So instead I made some tea, used the new sinus rinse I got yesterday (my sinuses are so packed I can't even get the rinse to reach my sinuses yet) and sat down for some time of study and prayer.

During my time of listening prayer God told me a lot of really cool things.  Here is part:

My love for you is like a vast ocean.
     The waves of my love can envelop you and overwhelm you.
     They can wrap you up in me, in my love
     You can feel my love toss you around, like undertow, in ways more powerful than you ever imagined
     Because that is the power of my love

God also told me that I should have confidence in the fact that I do know and recognize His voice.  I shouldn't doubt when I hear from Him.  He gave me two verses to confirm this.

"The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice.  He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.  When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice."  John 10:3-4

Then to confirm He gave me this:
"I am the good shepherd;  I know my sheep and my sheep know me"  John 10:14

I am glad my other plans fell through because it was such a great time with God today.


PS:  I made a mistake in my last post.  My nephew was born 12 weeks early, not 9 like I originally wrote.

Full

As I wrote recently, I spent the past week or so feeling a little homesick, wishing I could be at my church in the US for their big move to the new location.  At 9:30 a.m., I was thinking of people crowding into the new building in Salt Lake for the first time.  Then I headed out to my own church service which starts at 10.

My church in Honduras used to be at a different location too.  I have been to the previous location several times when they used to have services there.  Each of those times I always wished it were closer so I could attend more regularly.

I also knew that the church signed the lease a year ago.  We celebrated that a few weeks ago.  What I didn't know was that exactly 365 days ago my church in Honduras had its first service in our new location!  When they announced that today my heart lifted.  How cool that my two churches will share the same anniversary date!

I wasn't there for the start of either one.  But now I know that doesn't make me less a part of things.  True, I do not have the same memories to share.  But we are making memories and we have the future together.  So I am not left out.  I am not all alone.  I celebrated both of the big events today in the place where God called me to be - Alas de Aguilas, in Tegucigalpa, Honduras.

Photos of the new church in the US look gorgeous.  I hope the Holy Spirit was as present at K2 as it was here, with us, today.

Today is a special day for another reason.  My youngest nephew Joey was born on this day.  Each year as he grows older, with no signs of any learning problems or physical problems my family has an extra reason to give thanks on this day.  When he was born we didn't know.  He was 12 weeks early.  It was a really scary time.  But now we can give thanks for the smart, healthy boy, sweet, sweet boy we love so much.

I am not going to any Superbowl parties, although I was invited to one.  I have other reasons to celebrate today.  I am going to spend my time praising God for the way He is blessing me and the people I love and celebrating the birth of a new church (the physical building) in a new place with new opportunities to reach people, the first anniversary of another church in its new location and all of the potential it has to grow, and the birthday of my nephew who is a special gift from God, not only for who he is, but also for the way God made him perfect against all odds.

Also I am giving thanks for baleadas.  Yesterday Fany made me baleadas for breakfast.  Today during church I got hungry and all I could think about was making baleadas when I got home.  After the service they always sell something to raise money for the church.  Guess what it was today!?!!  Baleadas!  The funniest thing is that I saw them cooking, but I didn't pay attention for the first 20 minutes or so.  I was talking to different people.  Then, as I stood talking to Jairo's brother, a person walked by with a plate of baleadas.  I couldn't believe it!  I confessed that my mind had been on baleadas for the past hour and he laughed and bought me a plate.  I didn't even have to cook!  Yum!  God is good.  I am full of the word, full of the Holy Spirit and my tummy is full of baleadas after church today.

Isabela's bday

I spent the past 2 days in bed.  Not much to say about that.  Fany has been bringing over breakfast and a night time hot drink which she feeds me through my bedroom window because I am too lazy to go unlock the door.

This morning I woke up at 5 a.m. and got right to work after sleeping for two days.  I baked a cake and had it frosted by 7 a.m.  I washed a load of clothes and cleaned the house, even the windows and window sills by 9 a..m.  Then Fany brought me baleadas, my favorite breakfast.  Yumm!!!

Baleadas are a tortilla that is doughier than a regular tortilla, with your choice of fillings.  A basic baleada is beans and cheese.  Then you could add eggs, mantequilla, sausage, avocado...  Although I rarely eat breakfast I gobbled those suckers down!

Then I took a shower, blew up ballons for Isabela's birthday, and accidentally feel asleep at 11 a.m.  Fany knocked on the door at 1 p.m. and found me asleep.  Both of us were surprised.  But my little nap gave me the energy I needed to have a great afternoon with my friend Ana and her family for Isabela's birthday.

Once again, I took a million awesome photos with no memory card in my camera until after the dinner, cake, and presents, Isa asked to see a picture I took of her.  That was when the camera finally told me that there was no memory.  I am still really disappointed.  I had a photo of her blowing out her number 2 on her cake that I know would have been so cute!

Fany and Laura got a stuffed monkey that Isa loved.  She really liked the outfit I bought for her when I was in the US.  It's a sweater dress with leggings and it sparkles.  It fits Isa's personality perfectly.  She seemed to agree.

As we said goodbye I realized how much it breaks my heart not to spend much time with them anymore.  We are spending every other Saturday together, but it is not the same as 6 days/week like before.  I hate saying good bye to Samuel.  I just wanted to smother him in kisses and hugs.  Luckily he doesn't mind.

Isa and her cousin

Laura keeping track of things from her casita while Samuel, Isa and David play with balloons.

Making Plans

My sinuses are killing me.  Despite the physical discomfort, today has been one of those days that makes everything else worthwhile.

My Pastor asked to meet with me today so I have been looking forward to that all week.  I was not sure if it were for personal ministry or for something else, but any time spent with Pastor Ruth is good time, so I was happy to go.

Turned out Ruth was ready to plan for when the teams come to visit.  We are not sure how many days we will have with them, but we need to be prepared.  She asked how they normally like to serve.  I said the teens have now cancelled.  :(  They probably would have liked something more task oriented.  But the group in June is going to be more relationship oriented.  They would like to go home, I think, feeling like they know some Honduran people, have built relationships with people, and can call them by name.

I told Ruth that I think it would be really cool if they could see the contrast between city life (in Los Pinos where they will also serve) and the difficulties that people in the country face.  The city and country are two very different worlds, and I would like the team to experience both.

So Ruth and I worked together, brainstorming about things that she knows about her church together with things that I know about my home church and I think we came up with some great plans!  We are both really excited for the visit from my home church.

They come in May.  That is going to feel like forever!  But I look forward to every second of their visit.

Today was very productive and reminded me about why I love Pastor Ruth and her church.  Can't wait for both of my worlds to come together in May when I share Pastor Ruth and Alas de Aguilas with my friends from K2!  It's going to be great.  I can feel God's hand in it already.

Grumpy

Yesterday was a strange day.  I haven't been able to fall asleep since I got back from the US.  Every night I am awake until 3 a.m.  If I wake up at 5:30 a.m. or 7 :30 a.m. I still can't fall asleep the next night until after the clock passes 3 a.m.

So, after not getting to sleep until close to 4 a.m. the night before, I had plans to sleep late and spend the rest of the morning doing a bible study.

I was in the middle of a good dream.  Skiing with my good friends from high school.  Just like the old days.  We are hanging out and skiing in my dreams.  Probably because everyone on the East Coast is talking about all of the snow they are getting.  Or maybe because it is so cold here I had to turn on a heater for the past 2 nights in my bedroom just to stay warm.  Who knows.

In the middle of this good dream with good friends I hear the voice of my neighbor, Fany, calling from the front door.  This time, I think, I am not going to answer.  Then she comes to my bedroom window.  I look at the clock.  It's 9:30.  A reasonable time for her to think I am awake.  So I answer.

She starts talking about men who are here to cut off my electricity.  Woah.  This is way too early in the morning for this kind of talk in a different language.  I am still skiing with Peter and Brooke in my dreams.  But harsh reality comes crashing in.

How can this be?  I just got the bill on Friday.  Fany says I have to go talk to them.  So I climb out of bed in my fleece pajamas and go to the front gate.  Needless to say the young men are not impressed.  I try to plea my case but they don't want to hear it.  They tell me I need to go turn off my breakers because they are here to do a job and they are going to shut off my power.  So I walk back to the house and turn off the breakers.

Fany is still talking with them.  She says they will come back in an hour to turn it back on if I go pay the bill right now.  I doubt it.  I am ready to go back to bed and deal with it all later.  But then Fany says she also needs to go to the bank.  If I am going to pay the bill, could I please take her.  Fany never asks for anything so I pull on some sweatpants, brush my teeth extra fresh because my breath stinks from this sinus infection I am fighting, and put on a baseball cap.

Fany, her daughter Laura, and her nephew whom she is babysitting all pile into my car and we go to pay the bill.

Now, in Honduras there is no mail system like in the US.  We get the bill taped onto our front gate and we have to go to the bank to pay it.  Which means that every bank, at every hour, of every day has close to an hour wait.  Sometimes more.  I have tried to figure out a way around it, but there is none.  After spending a year bumming rides with others I have spent a lot of time waiting in lines at the bank.  Everyone does it and that's that.

So we waited in line.  With the kids running and playing and almost knocking over grocery displays.  Tugging on my sweatpants until I think they are going to come down in the middle of the supermarket.  (Some banks are just little stations inside supermarkets.)  I felt my patience draining.

I had already lost it once before we left the house when Fany told Laura we were going to the bank and Laura started one of her new things which is to cry. "I don't want to!  I don't want to!  I don't want to!" over and over.  Fany was in the house and Laura sat down outside, refusing to go get dressed.  So I said to her, "I don't care if you want to or not.  You are not in charge here.  Your mother is.  And you will do as she tells you.  Now go inside and put on your shoes."

Normally I stay our of those things.  But today I didn't.

Then we got into the car and her mother told her to put on her seat belt, which triggered the second new phase we are going through this week.  It's the "I can't" phase.  I can't cut with scissors, I can't lift myself up on the bed, and my personal favorite, I can't open the door, which means she stands outside asking if she can come in until she realizes that I am not going to get up and open the door for her.  Then she suddenly can.

Today she couldn't put on her seat belt.  Which, honestly, is not the easiest.  But she can.  Fany could tell I was stressed out so she started to do it for her.  But I said no, she can do it.  Again, overstepping my bounds.  We waited calmly until she did it.  I helped and encouraged.  I was not all mean.  But I was not in the mood for manipulation from a little girl (whom I love and adore!) this morning.

Alright, enough of me complaining.  The bill is paid and now we have to run some errands for my landlord.  We get those done and go to the electric company to show them the bank receipt which states my bill is paid.  Now can they please send someone to re-connect my power?  They start talking amongst themselves.  One is on the phone while another points out a phone number on the bottom of the bill.  She said, instead of coming here if this happens again you can just call this number from home after you pay the bill.  I ask, so is somone going to come and re-connect my electricity today?  She says, well, we are calling this number right now to get someone to do it but nobody is answering.  And that is the same number I am supposed to call from home for service if this happens again.  Great.  Finally Fany steps up and the lady says to Fany, don't you have someone who could reconnect this for you?  The line is working, it just needs to be connected.  Fany says no, we don't.  The lady assures us someone will come at around 1p.m.  I leave feeling sure that nobody is ever going to come.  But I am tired and just want to go home.

Of course today is the day Laura and her friend found a new delightful game.  They run into my house, find the cat and then hide from the cat.  It doesn't matter that the cat is asleep and oblivious to the fact they are there.  Or that my floor was just cleaned and I have to sweep it four more times throughout the afternoon.  It is the most exciting game in the world to dash inside, look at the cat, then hide and giggle.

Fany would never allow this.  Laura always asks before she comes in under normal circumstances.  But today Fany is busy with a lady who is visiting.  Later she tells me that she heard the whole thing and was concerned because she didn't hear Laura asking permission to come in.

Eventually the game got boring.  Thank God.  And later I got over my bad attitude and went over to visit Fany.  She was stressed out because the kids were fighting and our laundry was hanging on every tree in the yard plus the clothes line but it is so cold nothing was drying.  So I told her let's put this in the dryer, which seemed to relax her a little.  We would all have clean, warm pajamas to sleep in tonight.  We sat and talked until her nephew got picked up.  We put Laura to bed and talked more.  Last night we looked at her wedding photos until past midnight so as I noticed the night starting to slip away, I said good night and headed to my house.

Yesterday I learned that I have a sinus infection.  The medicine is making me sick and I have no appetite.  I cooked some dinner but couldn't bring myself to eat it.  I did get some yogurt into my belly.  That was the best I could do.

In fact that is kind of how this whole day went.  It wasn't the greatest day, and I didn't handle some things very well.  But I did the best I could do.  I have faith that tomorrow is going to be better.  I have a lunch time meeting with Pastor Ruth, and dinner plans with some North American friends.  Plus some study time set aside in between.  I think this gusty, cold wind has me on edge.  But tomorrow will be better.

Congratulations K2!

It has been inching up on me little by little.  The first jab occurred when I was in Utah at the all staff meeting where the leadership team of my home church talked about doing 24 hours of worship before the first service in their new location.  What a cool idea!

You see, my home church is moving.  Since before I left for Honduras they have been working toward this goal.  I can remember saying to my mentor, "It doesn't matter to me where they will be.  I am going to be in Honduras."

But now that it is happening, it matters.

It snuck up on me slowly and completely out of the blue.  I didn't expect to care this much.

Then there were messages on Facebook.  And pictures.  The 24 hours of worship day came.  I prayed with my home church but I felt alone.  I wanted to be there to share in their experience of blessing this new church and praising God for it.

I know.  It is just a building.  The church is the people.  But, you see, many of my favorite people are all joining together right now to celebrate something very special, and I can't be there.

I am sad.

I am jealous.

I am homesick.

I am a little mad.

I am left out.  (Because of logistics.)

I am hurt that a year from now or 5 years from now, or 15 years from now I won't have these memories to share with "my people" as Honduran friends call them.

Is it that I want my cake and eat it too?  Yes.  I want to live in Honduras and be able to tele-port myself to the US for the important things.  Like this move.  Or my nephews' birthdays.  Christmas.  The 4th of July.

Am I unhappy in Honduras?  No.  Not in the slightest.  I don't want to leave here.  I don't want to live anywhere else.

But sometimes, when I least expect it, things creep up on me.  Like this week as my church is preparing to move to its awesome new building.  I miss my people.

There's a strange inner battle between wanting to know and see everything,  Then I feel sad when I see photos so I want to avoid it all - crawl under a rock and hide out from social media until all of this excitement is over.  I want to send a letter to my friends and tell them how much I wish I were there.  But it seems kind of silly.  They are all working like crazy people and I am just sitting here complaining that I can't be part of it.

So yeah.  That is where I am tonight.  My heart is aching for fellowship with "my people".  At this time of celebration I want to feel a part of it all.  I know I am a part of them (usually I am very proud to be the Honduras part of them) but tonight I feel a world apart.

So, my sisters and brothers at K2 the Church, you are in my thoughts and my prayers.  You are important to me.  This move is important to me, although I never expected it to be.  I miss you and I wish I could be there with you to support you as you are exhausted.  I want to celebrate with you all that God has done to make this amazing thing happen.

Congratulations K2!  This is the beginning of a new season.  Can't wait to see my new church building with my old church friends some day soon.

PS:  Don't worry.  I am doing well.  Just missing you.

Free stuff

A friend of mine has been eager to meet with the family of a Honduran boy who attends her home church in the US.  He studies at a university near her home church and for several years she has visited him when she goes home.  This year he encouraged her to meet his family in Honduras.

The family doesn't speak English and she is still working on her Spanish, so she invited me to come along and translate for the meeting.  Man was I glad I went.  We ate at Ni-Fu Ni-Fa, which I have only been to once before.  It is a nice Brazilian restaurant with a big salad bar and MEAT.  Now you know, I don't normally like meat.  But this is some good meat and I figure my body could use it once in a while.

After great food and great conversation, my friend and I parted ways with our new favorite family, promising to meet again soon.  Next time they would like to cook for us at the home.

We had some errands to run so I translated for my friend at the cable company where she needs someone to fix her modem and her cable box.  Then we were supposed to go to the bank and the grocery store.  But we got side tracked.

At the mall where we paid the cable bill the center area was turned into a huge display of beauty products with demonstrations of how to curl your hair, handmade soaps, anti-aging products and a bunch of other things including a Clinique counter.

My friend said she used to wear Clinique lipstick when she lived in the US.  If something is expensive in the US, it is usually much more expensive, and also can be hard to find in Honduras.  So we stood on the second floor looking down over the Clinique booth and decided to check it out.

We both ended up getting makeovers!  It was really fun!  Then we acted like silly teenagers and posed for selfies at the mall of our new looks.  For some reason most Honduran teens I know take selfies when they go to the mall and post them on Facebook.  I'm not sure why, but it seems to be the thing to do.  My friend and I didn't post ours on Facebook.

As we were leaving I said wow, someone rich or important is parked next to your car.  There were a ton of military guys parked all around us, probably waiting for the rich or important person to come out of the mall so they could follow the person in a caravan with their lights flashing to their next destination.  That's how rich or important people travel in Honduras.  It was a little intimidating because I am still getting used to men in camouflage with huge guns and they were all around our car.

As I tried to get into the passenger's side of my friend's car, I noticed the car next to us had parked at the most absurd angle.  It was bizarre to imagine someone leaving their car parked like that.  Not only did it make it impossible for me to get into the passenger's door, it was going to be hard for my friend to back out.

When the men noticed that I was saying how ridiculously the person had parked they all agreed and each one of them jumped into action.  My poor friend had - she said four, I thought five, men with big guns yelling directions to her as she backed out of the spot.  I, knowing she didn't understand what they are saying, start yelling to her in English.  So she had five men and me all directing her out of the spot.

When we got out I thanked the men.  They seemed more than happy to have helped us from our dreadful parking dilemma and deliver us on our way.

As we were finishing our errands I called Fany.  At that point I had been gone for hours.  But the day before I told her I was meeting my friend for lunch.  Before she even said hello she asked in a strong and concerned tone, "Where are you!?!  Your car is here, but you are not at home!"  I said, "Fany, remember I had to translate today?"  "Oh, " and I could hear her relax.  I was just calling to see how much clothesline we need because ours broke and I was in a place that sells it.  So we figured out the clothesline and Fany was able to relax for the rest of the day.

I am so blessed to always have people looking out for me here!

We continued with errands, still complimenting each other on our beautiful makeup.  My friend said, "And we don't even have dates tonight!"  I don't think either of us has had a date in years, but with our gorgeous new look we just couldn't go home.  So we decided to go have 2 for 1 chicken wings.

Neither of us were hungry, but sitting in our houses alone was not an option and 2x1 chicken wings is the most social we get outside of church.  So we went,  She had self control and only ate half of hers since we weren't hungry.  I ate all of mine.

Then we stopped at a gas station where the two young attendants (you can't pump your own gas in Honduras) catered to our every need and practiced their limited English with us.  They cleaned the windows and offered us every car service that an attendant can do, all with big smiles, jokes and loads of congeniality.

On the way home we stopped at a pharmacy which happened to employ about 10 men and only one woman.  We also happened to be the only customers in the place, which meant every eye was on us.  I told my friend, I am not sure if it is because we are two North Americans, or if it is our beautiful makeup.  But I have never attracted so much attention in my life.

When I got home Laura came over and climbed onto the bed.  Then Fany hopped on too.  We sat and talked and watched music videos (Laura's new favorite thing to do) until Laura said she was tired and wanted to go to her bed.

It was a simple day, but really fun.  Free lunch, free makeovers, good company, male attention (which every woman needs once in a while) and lots of laughs.  I am translating for my friend again on Monday.

I wonder what is going on.  The church bell has been ringing for more than 15 minutes and there are lots of fireworks at 11 a.m.

I have noticed that EVERY time I ask someone what is going on - if there is a parade, or a day off of work, or fireworks - they answer, "It's a holiday."  Well yes, I know that.  When I ask what they are celebrating hardly anyone actually knows.  Usually they say, "Some saint."  Or, "Well, this month has lots of holidays so we are celebrating them all together."  After three years of the same, I rarely bother to ask anymore.

Tamalitos y cositas

Today's big news is:

I am going to start translating for a friend.  I figure translating is not going to take up much emotional energy and she is willing to schedule everything according to times that work well for me, so I can still get my morning quiet times in.  I like translating and she needs help, so it's a win-win.

A friend asked me to help her learn better English so I decided to have another conversational group on Sundays between my regular church service and the English church service.  I've only talked to two people but they know more people who want to come.  I'm thinking it will be a group of about six.  It should be fun!

Prayer group was good.  I have been watching the news, which is something I never did before because for some reason I couldn't understand what they were saying.  Now that I watch the news I understand better when we pray for things that are going on in Honduras and around the world.  The homicide rate in Honduras went down 20% in 2014!

I also learned in the news that a group of boys were arrested for blowing up a dog.  They tied these things that looked like firecrackers onto its sides.  I closed my eyes as they showed the explosion on tv.  (They show EVERYTHING on tv here from extremely explicit sexual things to bloody dead people.)  I saw them strap on the explosives, watched the kids light them and run away.  Then I covered my eyes and peeked through my fingers to see the smoke.  I shut my eyes again until the segment was over.  How horrible.  Today everyone is posting things on FB about being against animal cruelty.  So blowing up a dog in Honduras is cruel, but kicking or throwing stones at one is widely accepted. Things that make you go "Hmmm..."

My diet is doomed.  Fany came back from visiting her family out in the country and brought tamalitos, my favorite kind of tamale.  They are made with corn and no meat. Small and sweet so you can eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner or snacks.  Delicious anytime.  Dangerous.

And finally, today I was called a "thing".  Actually it was "my little thing".  A friend who was trying to be flirtatious said, "Hola mi cosita."  I have heard people use that word to babies or toddlers and didn't like it then.  Ana doesn't allow her boys to call their baby sister "cosita" because she tells them that their sister is not a thing.  It's always said in baby talk, which makes it even more annoying. (co-she'-ta)

Oh, and nobody from my new church uses the word Gringa.  At least not in front of me.  I didn't even have to say anything.  They just don't say it!  I really appreciate that.

That is the latest news from Honduras.

Praying at the mall

The electricity went out as I got ready for a meeting this morning.  It has been a while since the power went out, so I was a little surprised.  Today was a gorgeous, sunny day.  But you never know when the power is going to go out in Honduras.

I met with a woman who is selling life and health insurance through Honduran Fellowship.  Honduran Fellowship is the group of missionaries I joined.  Since insurance is cheaper here, and I spend more time here, I decided getting insurance in Honduras was the wiser way to go.  (Actually it wasn't much of a choice.  I checked into Obama Care.  It was $187/month - way out of my budget.  Not sure how that is "affordable" health care.)

My insurance here will cost $500/year.  It only costs $6.50 for an office visit and that usually includes the exam and meds unless I go out of the network or need a specialist.  Not bad!  It also covers me in 6 Central American countries including Guatemala and Costa Rica - the two places I have cousins to visit.  I am looking forward to having health insurance for the first time in three years.

My friend Carol set up the insurance meeting and applied for insurance too.  After the insurance meeting we sat outside in a little garden at the mall and talked.  It was really nice.

Carol wants to organize a time for all of the missionaries who are currently in transition to meet and pray together.  It's so strange, there are a bunch of us.  I think it is a great idea.  It would be nice to have a place to share our experiences and concerns.  I know that for me, personally, it is good to have someone remind me that I will begin full-time ministry again in God's time.  I can not get overly eager and jump into something just because it sounds interesting or challenging, or just because there is a need.  I am a missionary sent to Honduras by God to serve His people here and what I do cannot come from me.  It must come from Him.

Carol and I also had a good time of prayer.  It struck me that I have never prayed in public that long or that hard outside of a church.  Have you ever held someone's hands and prayed in a mall?  People in Honduras are more accepting of talking about God in public, so I am sure it was not a big deal to them, but for me it was really special.

As we were leaving I realized how blessed I am with friendships.  I don't know if I have ever had this many people I trust surrounding me.  I don't feel like I am constantly on guard any more.

I am good hands with Ruth as my Pastor at church.  I like the ladies there, but haven't gotten close to any.  However, here in Honduras I have Fany who is my bestie.  I have Ana, who is busy being a Mom and serving at the Breakfast Program, but is also one of my closest friends.  Now I have Carol who is someone who just "gets" me.  I can trust any of these people and also, each of them will hold me accountable if I need them to.  (Fany and I have a specific agreement that if one of us starts acting crazy the other one will say something.)

I love having so many wonderful women in my life here.  On top of that there are a few more people I enjoy spending time with who could become good friends too!  Feeling really safe in friendships is a new experience for me in Honduras and it feels like a huge breath of fresh air.  It takes a big burden off my shoulders to know that I am not alone and there are people I can trust.

Thank God for good friends.

Full hearts and full bellies

Today was a day full of love from start to finish.  I got to see a bunch of kids I haven't seen since November and spend time with some of my favorites.

Some of the older kids were sitting outside the gates of the church (Iglesia en Transformación) using the internet yesterday.  The church was closed because it was Saturday.  Don Juan cannot be responsible for a bunch of kids hanging around, so that is why they were outside the gates.  A car passed by, turned around, came back and held them up with a pistol.  The bad guys robbed the kids' phones, a tablet that one of them had, everything of value and even the shoes off their feet!  How scary!

People think I am crazy when they visit from the US and we asked them to take off their valuables and not to use their cameras or phones in Los Pinos.  They don't understand that stuff like this really happens.  One of the boys told his Mom that he thought he was going to end up with a hole in his head because of how forcefully the man was pressing the gun against him.  That is horrible.

I want to be clear, I do not think the church did anything wrong.  The kids are constantly told not to hang out there.  It is dangerous!  Traffic drives by way too fast and it is a bad neighborhood.  I was sad to hear about this.

I invited my friend Ana to visit my new church today.  As I picked her up I saw a bunch of the younger kids like Homni and Esteven and Memo (or whatever name he is asking to be called these days).

As I dropped them off I saw a bunch of older kids like Ingrid and Alejandra.  They gave me big hugs and told me how much they miss me.  It was great to see them!  I realized I have been trying not to think about how much I miss them too.

Ana, her kids, and her nephew enjoyed visiting my new church.  The kids liked the classes (and the hot dogs).  Ana said she completely understands why I love the church and the people there.  After church we went to my house where we played games and played outside.  It was a nice, relaxing afternoon.  I made brownies and we ate the whole pan!  The kids kept saying they liked the cake and they didn't understand that the walnuts were nuts.  They have never had brownies before!

Laura and Fany were not home when we first got there.  Laura was so good about sharing her bikes and toys!  She is not your typical three year old.  I was proud of her.

Ana, Fany and I had some nice lady time as the kids played.  Being with Ana and her family made me realize how much I miss them and love them.

As I took them home Ana said she had a great day.  She said first she was filled with the Holy Spirit at church in the morning, and then filled with friendship and love during our time in the afternoon.  I felt the same.  But I was extra happy because it was nice to see Ana relax and receive spiritually.  She works so hard between being a single Mom of four kids and also cooking at the church for all of the kids every day, she deserves to be refilled!

I told her I will not pester her to come to my new church, but she is invited any time she wants to come.  It meant a lot to me that she could see why I love my new church and to know she liked it too.

In the evening I hung out with Fany.  We had Chinese rice, which is kind of like fried rice, but with no eggs.  It is a basic staple in Honduras when a family doesn't want to cook at home.  We sat around talking about girl things and about how in the world she is going to handle her daughter, who is so smart it is scary!  Fany has never tried time outs before.  She saw a North American friend use them, but Fany mostly threatens the belt.  Today Laura dropped her bread on the floor and then refused to pick it up.  While Fany threatened to get the belt, in my head I could hear my mother say, "I am going to count to three..."

I the whole process of time outs to her.  Fany said she is willing to try it.  I expect it to be hard at first, but as we always see on Supernanny, in the end it pays off.  I am not a mom, but I think time outs can help Fany set firmer limits now and make her life a whole life easier both now and in the future.

I also got to spend the day with Ana's nephew.  He is a really sweet boy.  My heart hurts when I think of him.  Ana is about the only adult who shows him love, so when I am around him I do my best to make him feel special and loved.

Here are some photos of our day:

David, Samuel, Angel and Isabela

David and Samuel

Love that smile!

Jetty smelling a flower

WOW!  Great jump Angel!!

Jetty and Isabela.  Thank God I have the gentlest cat ever.

Lounging around

Even Samuel is tired after a long day of fun!

Reunion de las damas

Since I first moved to Honduras I have learned to go with the flow.  In the beginning it was hard.  I remember many times, sitting in a car full of people with no idea where we were headed or what we were about to do or when we would ever get back home.  Not only was it difficult because of all of the unknown, it was also very isolating.  I didn't like to constantly ask, where we were going and what we were doing.  I was supposed to understand the language well enough to know.  But I didn't.

Well, now I do understand the language well enough to know.  And I have my own car.  But still, some things slip by.  Like two weeks ago I asked whether prayer group was on Friday or Wednesday because it rotates.  Someone told me that prayer group was Wednesday and the women's meeting was a week from Saturday.  I knew nothing about the women's meeting.  Don't ask how I missed out on that entire topic.  But since I am a woman I assumed I should go.

Then a bunch of ladies were asking me about different things revolving around service, like cleaning and cooking at the church.  So in my head the woman's meeting was about how we were going to divide those tasks.  I did consciously think that it was odd no men were included.  But I was also okay with it.

Today was the women's meeting.  I decided to bring a bible just in case.  Maybe we would pray about who got what chore.  Ha ha!  I was way off base.  Like I used to be three years ago - that far out of the loop.

When I got there everyone was seated with their bibles.  That was my first hint.

The projector was on.  Ruth thanked us for coming to this time of fellowship for the ladies and asked me to pray.  Since I had no idea what we were about to do I kept it short and thanked God for time to be together as women, then stuck to the basics, good health, provision, etc...

Turned out Ruth had prepared for us a presentation that she was supposed to present in 2010 at the Women's Conference at Iglesia en Transformación.  Then at the last minute, God changed the topic on her, so she never presented this material.  It was very cool.  It was about how powerful we women can be.  We learned about examples of powerful women in the bible to demonstrate how God worked through them.  I was so glad to be there!  I gobbled that stuff up.  God is feeding me a most delicious feast these days.  It is delicious!

They took photos too.  I need to learn people's names.  It is getting embarrassing at this point that I don't know them by name.  But that is Pastora Ruth in the white and blue dress.  I am grateful to be a part of this church and in this group of women.  The women's group is going to meet once/month.  Next month I will present my testimony.  I am a little nervous, but more honored to be asked.  God will help me to speak and say what the women need to hear.

The powerful women of Alas de Aguilas

I like being me!

Today I met with a girl who is going into La Kennedy and doing ministry all by herself.  Wow!  She happens to know a lot of the people I know.  I really liked her.  She reminded me of myself in some ways.  She has completely immersed herself in the culture.  She is even living with a Honduran family that she used to serve.  She seems completely at home here.  She has faced a lot of challenges, not in serving, but in the place where she served.  She is now in transition and looking for full time ministry.  I admire her strength and determination.

In the afternoon I met with my former landlord's daughter.  It was so nice!  We had a good conversation and got caught up.  It felt like old times when we used to walk up the dirt road in the mountains and talk.  But something was different this time.  Marcela is about to finish college and move on to the next stage of her life and I am finally content with where I am.  Being in transition isn't a bad thing.  I am happy and peaceful and content.  To quote my three ear old nephew, "I like being me!"  It was fun to have so many positive things to share with each other.