Moving with the Spirit

Yesterday we celebrated my one year anniversary at Alas de Aguilas. One year ago I went to a women's retreat. A friend asked me to give her a ride home when the retreat was over. She didn't really want a ride to her home, she needed a ride to her church, Alas de Aguilas. Little did I know that would soon become my home too. Praise God for sending me there.

The message yesterday was about spiritual sterility. When we are baptized we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit within us. The Holy Spirit is our way of feeling God's presence and communicating with God. To live without the Holy Spirit in our daily lives leaves us sterile and barren as Christians. We cannot bear fruit.

Looking over the past year I see so many changes in myself. Yesterday, without knowing that it was my one year anniversary, my friend Oneida told me that she remembers a year ago when she first met me. She said I was not cold, but very distant and without much emotion. Now she says I am happy all of the time and so friendly. Yes, it's true. I am much different now than I was a year ago. Praise be to God.

After the service a friend approached me and asked if I would go serve at an orphanage with some others. I said I would love to but I already made plans to eat with Oneida and her family. They didn't have much food last week when I visited so I figured we could get some rice and veggies and a chicken to make Arroz con Pollo. It's cheap and it feeds a ton of people. But God had different plans.

A lady from the church took Oneida's kids to lunch and a museum. Since Oneida didn't have to look after her kids, she offered to come with me. God set that up perfectly! Oneida and I were treated to lunch by Jorge Saramiento. Then he took us to an orphanage for girls who were sexually abused. It was incredible to see how the afternoon unfolded.

Jorge and I played with the kids. A young man we brought with us and Oneida stood back and watched. When the games ended a lady took me aside and asked if I knew the history of the place. I said no, I really know nothing. I told her that my friend invited me to visit, so I came.

She sat down with me at a table. At first I thought, "Oh no. They see white skin and think I have money." In the end, they did need money. But I really believe it was not my white skin, I believe it was God who had them sit down with me.

They explained about the program. They house and care for 19 girls between the ages of 8 and 19, all of whom were sexually abused. Some have physical and learning disabilities. All of them have a story - the grandfather abused them and now the grandmother will not allow them to come home because he was convicted; all of the women of the family raised money to get an offender out of jail and now he is abusing younger sisters; the mother died giving birth and the father turned his older daughter into his "wife". At 14 she had to care for her younger siblings and perform wifely duties for her father. Lots of sad stories.

But these ladies are doing good things! Every child except one is in school. There is a psychologist and a social worker there with them. The staff  are teaching the girls to be self sufficient, making sure they will be able to do something to earn a living when they leave. They are also encouraged to dream big. Each of the girls have special gifts. The staff notices and supports each girls' strengths. One is great with animals, another with plants, another is quick to attend to anyone who is hurt...

The girls have formed a family of their own. Nobody gets visits on their birthdays from biological family, although they could have visitors. Most of the families have disowned the girls for "telling on" the offender. So they celebrate with their new families - the "sisters" and "aunts" they live with every day.

The location is exquisite. They could house even more people. In fact the Honduran counterpart of DCFS would like to place 15 more girls there. But there is no money. The private owners have not been able to pay a salary for 5-6 months. They went with out electricity for 6 months. There is a hole in the cistern, so all of their water is held in two big plastic swimming pools.

Two of the dormitories for the girls

The cistern with a hole

Swimming pools, but no swimming here! This water is for the homes

I walked into that place thinking they were living in the lap of luxury. By first appearance, it seems that way. The more time I spent there, the more I realized they are sinking, and sinking fast. The owners have told the five ladies who work there that they will close in December, unless the ladies can come up with a plan. If the place closes, the girls will either go back to the homes where they were abused, or to the streets. Neither situation is good.

I think if they had dropped all of that on me at once, I would have felt hopeless and overwhelmed. But they talked to me about the girls first, then showed me around the property. I asked if they had help from a group of men, would they have projects for the men, and that's how I learned the swimming pools were not for swimming. The lights went out as we toured the sleeping quarters and one of them let it slip that they just had the electricity turned back on after being without for six months. As we were saying good bye they said they hope we return to visit the girls. They said as long as the girls are there, they will remain to take care of them, although they haven't been paid in 5-6 months.

None of this was presented as a complaint. It was framed as, "If you know anyone who could help." I immediately thought of a friend of mine who runs a similar project. She is a wise business lady and may be able to offer advice. They said they would LOVE any advice she could give and would make themselves available whenever she can come, or they could go to her if that is better.

I was not allowed to take photos of the girls because of privacy laws, but I did get some photos of the crafts they are doing to raise money.

Beautiful Planters

Hand painted with love

Another fundraising project, gardens inside of a tire

More tires for planters

When I got home I posted photos on Facebook and got responses I never expected of people who would like to help. But I knew we shouldn't get all wrapped up in emotion and "go off half cocked" as my Dad used to say. (I googled that to make sure it isn't something vulgar.) It seems wisest that we assess the best way to help.

Maybe their most immediate need is to plug up the cistern or build a new one. But if they are only going to be there for a few more weeks, then there is no sense in spending money that way when there are mouths to feed and salaries to pay. The ladies who are working for free have their own families who are going without an income. I asked the people who want to help to be patient. We can't throw money at the situation and walk away. We have to figure out what is the most effective way to help in the long run.

Sleeping quarters

Guess what is inside this bottle (see below)

Gas for the lawnmower

When you can't afford electricity or gas
this is how you cook for 20+ people

A goat = milk!

The barbed wire that kept them safe has fallen down
and needs to be replaced

Steel radial tires
Good thing it's a spare

Today I got a message from a lady I met at the last conference. She referred me to another missionary whose whole mission is to help failing ministries! That person and I have been in contact throughout the day. She believes God brought the two of us together for a reason. I believe God sent me to that orphanage for a reason. (I hate the word "orphanage" but use it for lack of one better.) We are brainstorming about what to do. Right now, the women from the orphanage are sending a list of immediate financial needs, as well as their normal monthly budget. We'll see how to move forward from there. If it is God's will, He will show us how to intervene.

Thinking of you!

Erika called. She said she didn't want anything, just to talk. The baby is better. Doctors said she had an infection from drinking water in Los Pinos.

Today I have a meeting with Pastor Payson and Pastora Ruth.

I also have to take Jetty to the vet, which means the joyous experience of cleaning up puke after she gets carsick.

I had the best time last night in intercession for two of my friends who are going through difficult times. The people I pray with really came together and prayed hard for them. I think I even heard some crying over the situations my friends are facing. Today one has a court hearing and one has to go to the US Embassy. I have been in contact with both this morning and will continue in prayer.

I keep forgetting to share with you that my head boss, the founder of the place where I work, met with four US senators and one member of congress last week to discuss what is going on in Honduras! I am telling you, this organization is absolutely amazing! In our weekly devotional on Monday he said he couldn't believe he was sitting in the room with those people. It really is quite remarkable.

Click here to read how the Association for a More Just Society changed the average number of school days in Honduras from 125 to more than 200! This is a life changer for the kids I serve. You can only absorb so much in four hours of classes (which also includes a 20 minute recess). I am so grateful that the teachers have become for dedicated to their profession.

http://ajs-us.org/news/honduras-celebrates-200-school-days

Lastly, I would like to talk straight to you - the people who read this blog, and the people who support me financially, in prayer, with encouraging words, with helpful advice. I pray for you often. Usually I think of you most when I am out "in the field", walking through the communities that I serve. It is such a blessing for me to be in those places. I don't take it for granted. I take tons of imaginary photos in my mind, in places where it is too dangerous to pull out a cell phone, and I wish that I could share those photos with you! My co-workers are probably sick of hearing me say, "That would be a great photo!" They don't understand pictures are the best way for me to share my world with you.

I am thankful that you are part of this journey and grateful for your support. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Group Therapy and Home Visits

Today was my definition of a perfect day. It was challenging, fun and I got to experience new things.

This morning security picked me up at the corner. The guy who usually opens the door wasn't there and my co-workers had their hands full, so the door of the car didn't open as usual. All of the windows are tinted so dark that you can't see anyone inside. But I had just talked to a co-worker who said they were close and some guy who was standing near me had been staring at me for 10 minutes straight, so when the car pulled up I opened the door myself and jumped in. I was scolded by my co-workers because I didn't wait for them to open the door. Anyone could have been inside. I could have been kidnapped, they said. They were right, but I was just happy to get away from the guy who was staring.

We went to a co-worker's house. As I've said before, I am the only one who doesn't live in the communities we serve. My co-workers open up their homes for group therapy and other meetings for the youth.

There were 15 kids at the morning group therapy. In the future we are going to divide them into two groups so they will get more out of it. This week they were a little rowdy and three were absent. We expect a bigger group next week.

An intern who is studying psychology at the University lead a session about how to deal with anger. One of the psychologists was there too. In two hours we got so much done! We sang songs, did deep breathing exercises, made a book, and discussed different ways to react to situations that provoke anger. The kids didn't want to leave at the end so they all sat outside and looked at this view:

After group therapy we did home visits. We hiked all over visiting families. The first two visits were a little discouraging. Both homes had boys that were about to finish 6th grade. The moms said the boys will not continue with schooling. One boy is 13. He said he doesn't want to go to school anymore. And his mother just stood there. She didn't try to convince him or anything. The other mother said school is too far and too expensive, so she can only send one of her older kids. That means the other is dropping out of school after he finishes 6th grade in a few weeks.

We did our best to encourage the kids to stay in school, but the kids and their mothers were a tough sell. I don't think we convinced them. They each have an appointment with the psychologists. I hope they attend and are receptive to the therapist's advice.

In the next two homes the 13 year old girls were trying to go out with 19 year old boys. I was happily surprised by the ways the mothers handled the situation. One took away her daughter's phone and walked her to and from school every day. The situation is now resolved, but the girl still doesn't have a phone. The boy eventually gave up because with the Mom around, he never had access to see the girl.

The second girl's mother went to the boy's house and talked to his mother. She said she knew talking to him wouldn't do any good, but she told his mother she would have him arrested if he laid a finger on her daughter. She also went to the school and talked to the teacher. She said she was "on top of" her daughter 24 hours/day. Good parenting ladies! Very impressive.

We tried to visit another home. We jumped across a creek, then climbed a steep, slippery, tiny goat trail of a path to find nobody was there. So we decided to pass by the school where we were told that the boy has barely attends. The teacher said his seat is almost always empty. She said he has been held back so many times he is now bigger than all of the other kids in 5th grade. When he does show up he is hyper and physically aggressive toward his classmates. His mother refuses to come to conferences. He has an appointment to see the therapist next week. The therapist believes he will show up. I hope so!

After lunch we had a second group therapy. This group was only seven kids. They were so cute and attentive. They participated really well and seemed to enjoy the group. They all said they will be back and will bring friends next week.

It feels awesome to be serving in this way. At the end of the day I offered some ideas for next week. The therapists were excited to implement my suggestions.

I was invited to help with group therapy from now on, which I am super excited about. I love being out in the community, serving in ways that I can make a difference. Many of the families know me now. It is nice to be greeted with a big, welcoming hug. The people are extremely kind and friendly.

Almost every home served us a cup of Coca Cola. I have never had so much soda in my life. But you can't say no. It would be rude. One family said they don't have the 50 Lempiras to send two kids to school next year. But they spent 25 Lempiras on a bottle of soda for us. I hate knowing I am consuming what these people were probably going to spend on food for dinner.

As I crossed the bridge on my way home tonight the most awesome feeling came over me. I am finally living up to who I was meant to be. I felt very complete. I am realizing my full potential. I have the experience and knowledge to serve well in this area.

God has given me my dream job - serving in a beautiful place, with fun, hard working co-workers who strive for excellence, helping sweet but horribly disadvantaged people.

When you are angry or frustrated. how should you react?
Situation - thoughts - reactions

Photos, glasses and broken stuff

I grew up in a family that had physicals and eye exams every year and dental cleanings every six months. That has changed a lot since I got to Honduras.

The first time I went to the dentist in Honduras, they told me I had ELEVEN cavities! I totally freaked out. In my whole life I've only had 2 cavities. Six months in Honduras and I had eleven cavities? Three days later I saw a dentist in the US. They said I had no cavities, but I needed a cleaning. (The Honduran dentist had just cleaned my teeth three days before. I wondered at the time why it hadn't hurt a single bit.)

In March I will have been here 4 years and there are some exams I haven't had a single time. My glasses and contact lenses no longer work.

At the English speaking bible study I've been talking to the ladies about what they do for glasses and contacts. They all have connections in the US. So I asked my Mom to help figure out the cheapest route. Should I trust Honduran eye doctors?

My wrist doctor is first come, first serve. Normally I arrive an hour early. That left time to visit the eye doctor in the same building last week. Doctors don't do appointments here. The good news is, the exam only cost $10. But I wasn't comfortable with the results. It seemed like the prescription he wrote was not right. And glasses were going to cost $600.

I went to two other places last week and looked for frames. But I couldn't find anything I liked.

Today after bible study I got a second opinion on my eyes. This doctor did more exams and I felt comfortable with his opinion. I looked at every pair of glasses in the store. It was a big store in the mall with hundreds of frames. Not one frame fit my narrow face. I couldn't believe it. The skin behind my ears was sore from trying on glasses.

There was one pair that was okay, but they cost over $600 for the frame alone. I couldn't spend all that money. Especially for glasses that I didn't love.

After an hour of trying on frames the woman who was helping me started talking on her phone and stopped helping me. I paid my $10 for the exam and left, feeling frustrated. Across the hall was another store full of glasses. I felt a little guilty, like I was betraying the first store, but snuck inside.

The lady came over and I explained my problem. She gave me one pair that was too big. I told her I don't think they make glasses for my crazy face. Then she walked across the store and picked out a different pair. They were perfect! They looked nice and felt comfortable. AND best of all, they cost $100. YES!

All of the other places I had visited said it would be a month or more to get the glasses made because they are sent to the US for the lenses. Also there is no guarantee. If something is wrong I would be stuck with them. This place has their glasses made in Guatemala. It takes only a week and they are guaranteed! I was able to give them the prescription from the doctor across the hallway. I can pick up my new glasses on Tuesday, along with a free pair of contact lenses to try for a month. Exciting!

Now to find a dermatologist.

Yesterday when I got home I tried to mop. Unfortunately my mop broke. It took over a year to find that sponge mop in Honduras. Everyone uses string mops here. I can't stand string mops. I was so sad to lose my sponge mop!

Since I couldn't mop, I decided to cook some beans. The light on my Crockpot just blinked and blinked. No heat. My Crockpot was broken too. What a bummer! Crockpots are hard to find here too.

Today while I was in the mall for glasses, I looked for a Crockpot. They had six kinds of rice cookers, lots of pressure cookers, tons of blenders and pots and pans, but not one Crockpot. There is a second hand store in a shady part of the city. That's where I found my last Crockpot, my electric heater, and Chutes and Ladders for Laura (all things that are hard to find in Honduras). Today they had Chutes and Ladders and coffee makers, but no Crockpots. They said maybe the first week of December. I'll be in the US.

So, that will be my next quest in Honduras... To find a Crockpot.

I talked to Erika's Mom today. Marjory is feeling better already. No more diarrhea and she is eating food.

After getting home I walked over to the next community to buy an avocado. I love living in a place where when you buy an avocado (for 50 cents!) they ask, "For today? or tomorrow?" Fresh ripe avocados are the best!

Here are some photos I forgot to share from Fany's birthday and from church on Sunday:

Worship

Kids in worship

The bus we rent to bring most of the church members to church

The man in the stripped shirt is blind
He crosses a river (no bridge) each week to get to church
He missed a few weeks recently when the river was up to his chest

This is Alan
He was my partner for evangelism.
He is an inspiration for the youth and adults alike.

Praying for Pastor Paysen before the message

Pastor Paysen sharing the message
"CSI Jerusalem"

Fany and her birthday flowers

Laura is mad because she wants to hold her doll in the photo

Happy girl

Beautiful cake

Laura and Daddy gave Fany flowers for her birthday

Happy family

Friends

Birthday Dinner

Laura adores her cousin

Painting on the way home
"Don't leave for tomorrow the kisses you can give today"

Crisis averted

This morning was our weekly time of devotion at work. Four North Americans are spending 15 days with us. There was more English spoken at the office than usual.

After the devotional we planned for the week to come. I saw a co-worker filling out his schedule. He works every single day. The only time he has free this week is Tuesday morning. This isn't an exceptionally busy time for us. I was surprised to see him working seven days/week. My co-workers continue to impress me.

In the planning meeting we talked about the budget for 2016. A number of our kids are not attending school because their parents can't afford to send them. My boss asked if we know anyone who would want to sponsor a kid's education for $20 per year.

It may be hard to believe that a parent can't come up with $20 so their kids can go to school, but today Erika told me she couldn't come up with less than 25 cents to get her baby to the doctor. Fany and Ana both told me about times when they didn't have the 25 cents for bus fare.

Erika called me at 11:30 this morning. I assumed she had already gone to the doctor and was back at home, I asked what the doctor said. She had not gone to the doctor. She thought the baby was better when the morning began. Then the diarrhea started at 9:30 a.m., but  she has to be in line at the clinics by her house by 5 a.m. or they won't let her in. So she didn't go.

I felt frustrated. I thought she understood yesterday that this was serious. I explained to her the dangers again. She said that she had nowhere to take the baby at 11:30 in the morning. She said she couldn't have gone to the doctor this morning because she didn't have 4 Lempiras for the bus. That's less than 25 cents. I asked why last night she had bus fare. She really didn't have a good answer.

After thinking for a couple of minutes I asked Fany to talk to Erika. She could talk to Erika mother to mother. Fany explained the dangers of diarrhea when it comes to babies. She told her that five days is too long. I heard her say, "Move yourself!"

Then I got ahold of Ana. Ana lives near Erika. She agreed to help out. I called Erika back. By that time Erika had already taken Marjory to the doctor and was waiting in line to get the medicine that was prescribed.

Crisis averted.

I am going to talk to Erika about making sure she always has enough money (40 cents) set aside to take the bus to the clinic.

Hungry kitten

This morning I received my evaluation from the message I shared last week. The results were "MUY BUENA". (Very good)!!!

We were evaluated on Body Position, Dress, General Presentation, Quality of Message, Attitude Toward the Audience, Facial Expressions, Visual Contact, and Voice. I think it's cool that the evaluation is so detailed.

My constructive feedback was to elaborate more. I streamlined too much. Also, I was told not to wait so long for people to find their bible verses, and to look up while reading the bible. Not bad! I feel proud.

After church I went home with my friend Oneida. She is a seamstress and I needed some pants hemmed and taken in.

Oneida lives outside of the city, about half an hour from the church. She asked if her sister could ride with us. I said sure, not knowing that her sister is babysitting two additional kids. That meant we were three adults and five kids.

When I realized we were eight people, I asked Oneida to have some of the five kids to ride on the church bus, which is free and usually takes them all home. Oneida thought it was because of the weight of people in the car. I said no, my car only seats a total of five. Everyone needs a seat belt. Oneida and her sister thought I was crazy. In their mind, a car is for as many people as can physically squeeze into a car. It is common to pack 10-12 people into a five person vehicle.

The kids purposely missed the bus, so we all ended up in my car. I did insist that they all remain seated. I am so strict.

Oneida and I gabbed while she made lunch for her kids. The kids each got a tiny portion of beans, two tortillas and a tomato with salt. It was all the food they had. I am realizing now that Oneida didn't eat.

Last week Oneida found a tiny kitten. It was discarded inside a box on the side of the road. She decided to rescue the cat, but since there is not enough food for the people of the house, the cat is starving. Its fur is falling out in big patches. It cries constantly. They told me love is enough. Most Honduran people wouldn't be so kind to a cat.

I kept wondering if the kitten was better off inside a house with love and attention, but so little food. On the streets it would have to fend for itself. It was tough to see (and hear) that hungry kitten.

Oneida measured me and hemmed my new (used) pants. They had huge bell bottoms which she took in on the sides. The pants cost $3 and I paid her $2 to hem them. Good deal! And she has a little money in her pocket. I would like to stop by Oneida's house this week with a chicken.

Oneida's family has Chikungunya. Her sister and her parents have had it for over 3 weeks. They can all barely walk. It's hard to see them suffer from so much pain.

While I was visiting Oneida, Erika called. Marjory is sick. She hasn't eaten in two days and has had diarrhea for three days. (Afterward I figured out the diarrhea actually started four days ago.) Erika said she would like to take the baby to a doctor. Neither she, nor I, know how to get to the clinic that's open on Sundays. Erika's Mom said she couldn't go, but her Father offered to accompany us.

As I was on my way to Erika's, her father called me. He said there was no need to go to the doctor today. I told him I was concerned because young children can die from diarrhea. He said the baby will be fine until tomorrow.

I asked Erika how she felt about the idea of waiting until tomorrow to go to the doctor. Erika said her parents want her to wait. I got the feeling she would like to go today. She said the baby is drinking a lot of water. I told her to encourage Marjory to drink as much as possible. She said she will get the baby Gatorade and Pediasure.

Marjory doesn't have a fever. I am thinking she probably has a parasite. Erika said she has bus fare to go to the clinic near her house first thing in the morning.

Part of me wanted to buy Gatorade and Pediasure and drop it off, but I didn't. Instead I headed home and asked advice from Fany and Santos. What if something happened overnight? Fany and Santos assured me I had done everything I could.

Santos' baby brother died because of dehydration from diarrhea so they realize how serious diarrhea can be. Santos and Fany said I did everything I can do. I need to let the family take care of their own responsibilities. I can't go and take the baby from the house. It would dis-empower the family 

We talked about the thin line of helping and dis-empowering. I was available to take the baby to the doctors. I gave them all of the advice I know about treating diarrhea. They can choose to take my help or not. But I shouldn't force it on them.

Now we are praying for Marjory. I think she will be fine. Erika said Marjory is still walking around. I told Erika I will be available if she needs anything. She said that she will keep a close eye on Marjory, give her lots of liquids, and take her to the clinic early tomorrow.

Evangelizing on the streets of Honduras

Halloween is a strange day to be in Honduras. My friends here are SO against the idea of Halloween and see it only as satanical. I try to explain that most people use it as a reason to dress up silly and get together with friends, but the people always say, "Don't they understand what they are doing?" Hey. It's a tradition. It's what we do in the US. We don't really think about it that much. We just do what we've done since we were kids and what the generation before us did.

Needless to say, I didn't dress up and go trick or treating today. I never liked dressing up or going door to door before anyway.

But today I learned a new way to go door to door. Many churches in Honduras choose this day to hold big activities. My church decided to go door to door in our neighborhood and evangelize.

To be honest, I was not looking forward to it. I am not one to push my faith onto anyone. Several people have found Christ through their relationship with me. But usually, the topic of religion comes up organically. I was not comfortable with the idea of taking to the streets. In the end I went and it was awesome!

We met ahead of time and read in the bible about how Jesus sent out 72 of his followers, two by two, and told them to be careful.

We took off all of our jewelry and went with nothing but our bibles and some really well done pamphlets. Turned out, that was for the best. The streets were basically empty, except for private security guards. The few people we did meet told us to be careful as they scurried along.

It wasn't the most productive place to evangelize. There just weren't many people. One of our goals was for our neighbors to know that our church is close by. Turns out we really don't have many neighbors. There are tons of houses, but all of them have businesses inside and we were not allowed to enter. So we mainly talked to the guards in front of the businesses, or people we passed in the street.

I have to say that we were well received. People in Honduras are much more open to talk about God. They share their faith proudly. So the main factor that kept us from talking to others was either the issue of safety, or that they were pressed for time. Either way, they were always kind.

We went out in groups of four, two people on each side of the street. That way we always had an eye on each other. I was happy to be partnered with a younger person, a boy who is in college, but on fire for God. I like being around him in general. He is wise beyond his years. I figured between his ability to speak about God, and my gringa face, people wouldn't mind talking with us.

I was right! First we talked with a man who was in the same position as us. He was a salesman trying to sell his goods. He was loaded down with tons and tons of woven crafts and hand carved wooden kitchen spoons. He his goods were tied to him in every place you can imagine.

My side-kick, Allan, started talking to him first. I only said a few words. God was leading Allan. When Allan spoke of leaning on God for our physical problems, the man became very attentive. His facial expression changed and he stood more upright. I think he is fighting a sickness. Actually, I think he is fighting HIV. He was thin and marks on his face that led me to believe HIV could be the reason he needs God. We talked to him about the location of the church and asked his name. If one day he chooses to go to church, he knows where we are.

We also prayed for a security guard. His name was Javier. He was hanging out with the guard who works across the street from the building where he works. I think if he had been alone, he would have been more receptive. When we asked if there was anything specific we could pray for, he thought hard. We kept waiting for the words to come out, but finally he shook back tears and said, no, nothing. So we prayed a general prayer. That man's face is planted in my heart too.

Alan and I met a really cool young man who worked at the car wash. People who have tattoos in Honduras are usually gang related. He had a poorly done tattoo across his forearm that said "Victor". He was full of more light and joy than anyone we met. He said that he belongs to a church and spent last night in an all night vigil. He said he was feeling a little loopy from lack of sleep, but it was a good loopy, since he spent his time worshiping God in the vigil.

We also met a young guy named Jorge. He was walking very fast and did not want to talk to us at first. He was anxious and had something about him that was not quite right - maybe a learning disorder. But he was kind. Jorge loved talking about the US. He said he reads the bible often, but only little bits at a time. I assured him little bits are good! He said he has two sisters in Tennessee and asked if I have ever been there. I said I have and it's a beautiful place. It is his dream to get a job in the United States. I told him it is not as easy as he is led to believe. In fact life in the US can be quite difficult.

We prayed with two women who asked for our prayer. Our last stop was with the guard for In and Out Burger! I never knew there is an In and Out Burger here. Turns out it is right behind the church! We talked to the guard there for a while about how people in the US love In and Out Burger. He is Christian and has Sundays free. He knew better where we are located than we did because by that point we had wandered around on windy roads long enough that we felt disoriented.

When we got back to the church to pray and discuss our experience, they told me to look out the back window. There was In and Out Burger, in our backyard. I gave some of the guys a ride home. As we were getting into the car, there was the guard from In and Out Burger, standing in our parking lot, pointing up to the third floor, where we told him we meet on Sundays. I called to him and greeted him again. I told him I hope to see him tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Fany!

Fany is on cloud nine today.

It's her birthday. A couple of days ago she said she needs a hair cut because her hair is driving her crazy. I told her I will take her to the salon as a birthday gift if she would like. She said yes, that sounded good. We decided we would go to the salon where I always get my hair cut for $3.50.

Then I thought about also getting Fany a manicure and pedicure for her birthday. My salon always does a good job, but it is more about the results than the experience.

I get my hair cut in a tiny room with very basic stuff. There is a bench where you can sit to wait your turn. You can also leave your purse there. There is one chair for hair washing, a chair for hair cutting, and a chair for pedicures. There's a sink that doesn't work because there is no running water. They bring water in buckets from outside and stick a heater into the water so it comes out warm. You do sit in front of the sink and tip your head back to get your hair washed, like in every other salon. A small pail of warmed water is poured over your head. The water drains out of the sink into a big bucket.

I am totally accustomed to this and don't mind it a bit. I like the way the lady cuts my hair. But I thought for Fany's birthday it would be fun to go to a real salon.

So I posted on the Facebook missionary page asking the ladies there if they know a good salon. Apparently there are two nice salons here. I called and of course the prices were a lot more, but for Fany's birthday I decided to splurge. It was $14.50 for the haircut. I forgot how much the manicure/pedicure and pedicures cost. Whatever it was, it was worth it.

I told Fany I had to stop and have my car alarm adjusted on the way to the appointment. That way when I turned to go to the fancier place, she didn't suspect anything. I had to call to ask where the salon was. She thought I was lost on the way to fix the car alarm. When we parked the car and got out we started to leave the parking garage. The attendant quickly said, "Don't go out there or you will get robbed!" so we followed a very fancy lady through a side door that led straight into the salon.

I said to Fany, "Did he really say we would get robbed if we went outside?" She said, "Yes!" That was strange. But the salon was very nice.

When I told them who we were they immediately rushed Fany away to wash her hair. Another group grabbed me and took me into the manicure/pedicure area. They had regular pedicure chairs, but they sat me down in an area in the back, overlooking the city. About six ladies got right to work setting up a little station for Fany and me. Then Fany was returned to me with her hair wrapped in a towel. She looked like she was in shock. I said that out loud and the girl who had washed her hair told me yes, Fany was in shock. Fany had this blank look on her face like she didn't know where she was or what was going on.

Finally as we settled into our chairs, she began to relax. One lady worked on our hands, while another worked on our feet. We felt very pampered. The ladies were super sweet. They helped me post a photo on Facebook of Fany being "spoiled" as they say in Spanish.

Manicure and pedicure at the same time

Haircut and pedicure

By the time the lady came to cut Fany's hair, she had to ask Fany to sit up straight. The shock had worn off and Fany was all relaxed in her chair. Hahaha! She decided to cut a lot off her hair because she wanted everyone to be able to notice the difference. She told the woman to cut it barely to her shoulders, but the lady actually left it a little longer, with more shape around the face.

We had more than an hour of pampering with our manicures and pedicures. The lady doing my pedicure took extra time so that I finished at the same time Fany was done with her hair cut. Then they whisked everything away, including Fany, and I was left sitting with just my chair, waiting for my toes to dry.

Sometimes it felt like we were surrounded by worker bees, for the number of ladies and the way they all worked together to get things done.

When my toes were dry I found Fany getting her hair blown dry by a different young lady. Fany was having the time of her life! We watched another woman get her hair blown out and I was amazed by how beautiful her hair was. It was like a hair model on tv. Then Fany's turned out just the same! We took lots of photos and enjoyed our time immensely.

On the way home Fany called her husband. She told him that Mary Lynn was bringing home a new woman.

This afternoon I've been reading and writing at my house. Fany has dropped in a few times just to say hello. She is wearing a huge smile along with her new haircut. I am happy that I was able to make Fany smile extra big for her birthday. She is such a good friend to me. I'm glad I was able to help make her birthday special.

Her morning started with a huge bouquet of roses and tonight we are all going out to dinner. Happy Birthday Fany! Friends like Fany are few and far between.

One more kiss

My heart is so full! I got the best hugs and kisses today from some of my favorite kids.

This morning I went to coffee with my friend Carol, then to the airport to meet the English speaking pastors. Carol needed to drop off her car at the mechanic, which is in Los Pinos, so I picked Erika and then went to pick up Carol from the mechanic's.

After dropping off Carol I gave Erika the choice of going to the park, my house, or the mall. She chose the mall. We perused Forever 21 for a while. Then we tried to find glasses for me. She shook her head "no" to over 20 pairs. I could not find a single pair of glasses in a huge store full of every style you could imagine. I have an absurdly narrow face.

After that we were supposed to go to another glasses store, but I got hungry, so we went to the food court. Getting her to make a decision was like pulling teeth. She doesn't like to ask for anything. But finally she ordered a $5 combo plate of fried rice, chop suey and fried shrimp at a Chinese place. The plate was so big we shared and she still had some to take home. Marjory is a great eater! She loves friend shrimp.

After Marjory finished eating she pooped all over so we had to skip gelato, which was fine because we were full. It was quite explosive. Erika didn't have any diapers, but I had wipes and diapers in my car, so we wrapped a plastic bag around Marjory's butt to keep Erika clean, and carried her out to the car.

I haven't seen Erika in ages. It was great to see her. She is still living with her boyfriend. She gave me the BEST NEWS EVER! Her boyfriend's mother invited him to go to church, and he invited Erika, and now they are all going to church together! They are in a small group that meets once/week and they attend church services Wednesday and Sunday. Erika loves the church. She feels supported and comfortable there. She uses the bible she got as a birthday gift every week in her small group. I told her if they ever invite me, I would love to check out her new church.

Erika has never been involved in a church before. This is a huge answer to prayer!

Tomorrow is Fany's birthday. She thinks we are going to her friend's place where I always get my hair cut. It's is a tiny room with no running water, but her friend is a great stylist and she only charges $3.50 for a cut. She has been wanting a hair cut desperately for a few weeks so I told her I'll take her for a haircut for her birthday.

Little does Fany know, I made an appointment at a real salon. Santos is going to take care of Laura. Fany and I are going to get manicures and pedicures.Then Fany is getting her hair cut. Fany is going to love it! She never gets a few hours away from Laura. Santos is taking the day off of work. He said he has his own surprise for Fany too, but I can have her for a few hours. Fany is going to have a great birthday!

Today as I dropped off Erika I saw Maria Fernanda and Dilma. I haven't seen them in a year - since I left the breakfast program. They are so tall! Like, really tall! I think they are at least as tall as I am. I stopped the car, rolled down my window and said hello. Maria Fernanda kept fighting back tears. She kept saying she was so surprised and happy to see me. What a cutie!

Then I saw some adults from the church as I headed up the hill. They were really happy to see me too. But they were on a steep incline so I couldn't stop, so they walked up to the road by Erika's house where we were stopped because a motorcycle was parked in the middle of the road. He knew who it belonged to. I'm not sure if the owner of the motorcycle saw him waving his arms toward where the owner lives up on the side of the mountain, or if he heard my car alarm going off because my car turned into a jungle gym as soon as I stopped, but he came down and moved the bike so we could get past.

Meanwhile, more kids I know came along. I got tons and tons of hugs and kisses. It was awesome. All of it. But I think my favorite moment was when Lorenzo asked if he could have "Just one more kiss." Yes Lorenzo. You can always have one more kiss.

Tortillas baked on an oil drum

More questionnaires today. We are catching up with the last 20 kids. Over 200 are done!

My co-worker and I climbed up and down Villa Nueva. It rained last night, as it does less frequently these days, so the ground was slippery. I almost fell down on the pavement, which was laid by the association where I work. The unpaved goat paths were even more slippery.

The first home we visited is on the back side of the mountain. Security dropped us off at the top. There was a pick up truck stuck on the "road" (I use that term loosely) up. The men in the back (because here there are frequently men in the back of pickups) were jumping up and down, trying to catch some traction. Our driver shifted into 4-wheel-drive and up we went. We saw the other people arrive at the top about five minutes later. I was glad we weren't going back down in the truck. It's barely a road when it's dry. It was a mess today.

The ladies at the first home were busy making tortillas. I asked their permission to take a photo. Their oven was an oil drum with the top cut off. They said they make 200 tortillas/day to sell. They made it look easy. It's not.

The green bucket at the far end holds the masa, or dough. They know how to take exactly the right amount to make the perfect sized tortilla every time. They roll that amount into a ball, set it between two pieces of plastic grocery bag, and press down with all of their body weight using a piece of wood. Then they throw the flat tortilla onto the oil drum lid to cook.

A second lady is the cooker. The cooker has to flip the tortilla at just the right time. If you flip it too early it sticks to the oil drum and rips. If you flip it too late it over cooks. After the first flip she lets it cook for a moment, then she pokes it with three fingers and it magically puffs up like a pita pocket. That's how she knows it's ready. The three fingered poke is hard to do too. She takes it off the stove with her bare hands and tosses it into the pink bucket.

The pink bucket will be covered with a kitchen towel or a thin cloth and carried on one of their heads down the mountain to sell. I hope they are better at walking downhill then I! Most women wake up at 2 or 3 a.m. to sell tortillas every morning. I would rather be with these ladies. I imagine they sell to customers who want fresh tortillas for dinner.

I got to visit a house that I've been to once before. The grandma remembered me and gave me an extra big hug. She is so sweet! She is caring for several grandchildren and an older girl who has special needs. The older girl came out to talk with us and announced she was drunk, which surprised me, not only because it was 9 a.m. but because drinking alcohol is so strongly frowned upon here. The grandma quickly clarified that the doctor changed the girl's medication and her new medicine makes her very dizzy. Ah - that made more sense.

I noticed again how friendly the people of Villa Nueva are. People greet each other in passing. Little kids all say hi. One little boy walked past and said hello. I was the only one who said hello back, so he raised his voice louder and said, "Hello all!" We laughed and everyone said hello. Then he said, "Good bye all!" and we all yelled good bye. He was a self assured little guy of about seven years old. What a cutie!

We finished early and called another co-worker to show us which homes she serves so we could visit some of her kids too. Her kids lived on the other side of the highway and up the mountain. That was a tough climb. The regular path was washed out from rains and I had already slipped enough that I was nervous. It was steep with spots that you could only dig the tip of your toe into the mountain. I need to get back into the gym!

The homes on the other side of the mountain are more like the homes of Los Pinos, small and made of random boards or whatever materials the people can find. People on that side of the mountain didn't say hello. In fact, a little boy of about four was standing outside his house. As we approached he called inside to his father, "Daddy get the pistol!" I must admit I was nervous. But the Daddy never came out with a pistol, although I did hear him talking inside. My co-worker told me that while I was sitting on a rock outside a home, conducting an interview, a man from the house above us asked her, "Give me something." She told him she had nothing to give and stuck close to me. Probably more for my protection than her own because she could have gone inside.

When we had seen all of the kids we could see the and there was nothing more we could do, we were a little stuck. Security wasn't scheduled to pick us up for three hours. I tried to call my regular cab driver, but he was busy. After my co-workers discussed which buses are safer, we hopped on a rapidito. Rapiditos used to be more safe, but lately I've been told they are less safe than the big yellow school buses which are used for public transportation here. My co-worker was supposed to get off at the stop before me, so we said good-bye and she went to sit down at the front of the bus. Then I waited and watched, but she didn't get off. When we got to my stop I saw her getting up to exit, so I waited outside the bus for her. She said she didn't want to leave me, she wanted to get me as close to home as possible before she let me out of her hands. She said she didn't want it to be her fault if something happened to me. I appreciate that my co-workers take good care of me, but I also don't want to be a burden to them.

I told her if she wanted to walk me home I would give her a ride to the office so she could turn in the reports. She said sure! So we walked to my house from the bus stop together. I was so ashamed at how messy I left my house. I never, ever have guests. But my house is usually much cleaner than it was today. "Me dio pena." It pained me. You can bet I got right to work cleaning as soon as I dropped her off.

Tomorrow I can't work because they are visiting homes all day. I have an appointment for my wrist in the afternoon. There is no safe way for me to leave the neighborhood where they are serving and get back to my house by myself. I'm disappointed because I love getting out, seeing homes, and meeting people. Plus the co-worker they are going with tomorrow is a funny lady. She is the one who sings the ranchero songs. But my boss told me I have to put my wrist first, and the orthopedic doctor wants to see me tomorrow, so...

Discovering a New Side of Me

I amazed myself today. And God amazed me too.

Today was my turn to present the message I have been preparing for my "clase homeletica". This class started about 6 months ago. Now each of us are taking turns preaching in front of the class in preparation for the real thing - sharing our message with the congregation.

The class has been difficult for me since the beginning. I didn't feel worthy to be part of it.

Then I went to the US in June and missed a month of classes. At that point I told Pastora Ruth that I should drop the class. To me it seemed like the respectful thing to do. But Pastora Ruth told me not to throw in the towel.

My classmates had all chosen themes. Most had even written an outline of their message. I was way behind.

I got right to work and presented my outline. I had seen my peers' outlines. They were filled with red ink. When I got my outline back, it said that I had a couple of things to change, but most of my red ink said that I had done a good job. I figured the Pastora was easier on me because I couldn't handle a tough critique. (I was a pro at negative self talk! That has changed a lot in the last few weeks as God has been healing me.)

Finally, this week was my turn to present my message. I had everything written, I just needed to memorize it all. So I got to work on that. Wednesday I realized they may not have anyone available to translate for me. I sent a message to Pastora Ruth asking if I'd have a translator. She said she wants me to practice preaching in Spanish.

Surprisingly, I didn't panic. I just answered "Okay". And I believed that it would be okay.

As I spent the week with my new co-workers I preached to them in my spare time - one of the benefits of working for a Christian organization. They were a big help. Saturday I spent all day reviewing. In the evening I preached to Fany.

This morning Fany came over with banana pancakes and ginger tea. I dressed in my office clothes. With a full belly, I headed off to church.

I was nervous, but not too much. My peers all said they couldn't see that I was nervous at all.

Everyone prayed for me, and I stepped up to the pulpit. Suddenly my brain went blank. My whole message was gone. Thankfully, I had three sets of notes in front of me. One written out word for word, one outline in English and one outline in Spanish. I glanced down at my notes and began.

I know the Holy Spirit took over because everything went really smoothly. Normally I struggle to read aloud in Spanish, but I practiced until my words came out right. A couple of times during the message I stumbled, but even someone speaking their native tongue can have difficulty finding the right words. I concentrated on eye contact, made sure my voice was loud enough, and did my best not to fidget. My audience even had a good laugh or two!

Pheeeeew! It was better than I hoped.

Afterward the critique was that I should have had a stronger conclusion with a time of prayer, I clicked the heels of my shoes which made noise, and I should have maintained better eye contact when reading the bible verses. Pastora Ruth showed me how to maintain eye contact by reading by using my finger to keep my place when I look up.

Not bad for someone who has never preached before, and who is speaking in their second language!

I feel really proud of myself and excited about all of the work God is doing in me. I am blessed to be in a place where I am challenged to do things I never imagined I could. I'm grateful for my church and church leaders who are helping me to become the best me I can be!

Boys

More questionnaires. Today I interviewed kids who really need our club. I referred two of the five I interviewed to our psychologists. One shows a lack of empathy. He is the only young person I've interviewed who answered "No" to the question, "I like to help others who are in need." He said he doesn't care if his friends feel sad. If he is sad or angry he has no adult in whom he can confide. He was also the only boy who answered, "No" to "I believe that things can change for the better."

I am sad for that boy. Lately I am thinking that I have too much empathy for my own good.

Another boy's answers were similar. I reached out and touched him on the shoulder as we talked. He flinched, then pulled his shirt away from his skin as if trying to rid himself of my touch.

I hope they stay in our program. Our therapists are good. They can learn a lot and maybe find an adult in whom they can confide.

I am amazed at the collection of books there at at this club. There is a huge bookcase of books in English. Books, especially in English, are hard to come by here. But the club in Nueva Suyapa has everything from the old faithfuls everyone studied in high school, to books about Michael Jordan. I couldn't stop thinking how awesome that book collection was.

My co-workers helped me practice reading the verses that are part of my message on Sunday. Reading out loud in Spanish is difficult for me. Often I am not sure which syllable to emphasize. Some words in the bible are not so common in every day language.  My co-workers loved my Spanish bible. I felt bad because I rarely use it. Bibles here are so expensive that many people don't have one of their own. I would love to be able to buy each of them one.

I notice there is a group of people in Russia who are logging in to read this blog together. Welcome! Thank you for reading! I would love to know how you found me.

Erika called me today. Finally. It has been so long. I left messages for her. Today she finally called. I look forward to talking with her tomorrow.

Climbing Mountains

Everywhere I went today people were talking about the 7 year old who was killed in Los Pinos last night. Immediately my mind jumped to the 7 year olds I know in Los Pinos. The boy came from a two parent family, which eliminated most of the seven years olds I know. Someone was mad at the father so they beat up his wife and seven year old son so badly that the boy died trying to protect his mother. It really is sad.

I first heard the story from a co-worker as I was rode with security from the main office to our field office. We did home visits and the lady at the first home was talking about it too. She knows what it is like for a mother to lose a child. On October 10th, 2014, her 18 year old daughter was killed. She told me the story, detail by detail.

The daughter always helped her uncle sell tomatoes at the market. The uncle died and left the business to her. She was a great business woman. She washed all of her tomatoes by hand and dried them with a towel, while her competitors just left their tomatoes in a crate, dirty and sometimes split open.

After many arguments, one day the girls competitors got angry and killed her.

The Mom was an interesting lady. Her home was at the very, very top of a mountain. The front yard had amazing views of the whole city. As we approached on a dirt path, we found her pulling a little pig out from under one barbed wire fence, and moving it to the other side of the dirt path to graze in fresh plants and weeds. The pig was making all sorts of grunting noises because it didn't like being pulled by the rope leash that was around its neck.

I was happy to relax on top of that mountain, away from everything below. Walking from the field office to her house was the most dangerous walk I have taken in my time in Honduras. We left the field office with two people who live in that community and walked down to meet another lady who lives in the section we were visiting. Along the way there was a group of 5 men standing across the dirt road. One was carrying a bottle of beer at 8:30 a.m. We stopped before we got to them and called the lady who lives there to come out. She came and walked past them with us. They were staring us down as we walked past. She asked one of the younger ones what was his problem, showing him that his menacing looks didn't upset her. He turned away. Another one said, "Forty Lempiras a bag." repeatedly until she scolded him too. I don't know what he was trying to sell. Drugs I assume.

Turns out that the people in that neighborhood are mad at her. Someone got put in jail and they think that she was the one who turned him in. But she wasn't. We went with her to talk to the mother of the boy who was incarcerated. His brothers won't attend our youth group anymore. She asked the Mom to please talk to her sons. The Mom seems to know that my co-worker wasn't involved, but she said she can't convince her sons and they are headed down the same path that landed their brother in jail for 12 years.

I was walking around in one of the tee shirts that we are supposed to wear in the field. It says "Make Justice" in Spanish. I don't know a better way to translate it to English. I was thinking it's probably not the best shirt to wear around people who are worried that we might arrest them. I think I'll be wearing my "Love Fearlessly" shirt from now on.

We had some free time between the home visits in the morning and the youth club in the afternoon, so I got to hang out with my co-workers at one of their houses. I practiced the message I am going to share on Sunday in my class at church. They said it sounded really good.

We all went out to eat Chinese food together. I was telling them how happy I am to be working with them and serving in such a great organization. Later I learned that the house I visited was the home of the head of the organization. Even my head, head bosses live in the communities we serve. My co-worker lives with one of them. Good thing I love my job and am bubbling over with nothing but good things to say!

The club in the afternoon consisted of twenty five 12-16 year old girls. We all left with a headache, but we got all of the questionnaires done and completed a project with them which gave us feedback about their impression of the services they receive from us. I noticed that the girls seem to be a grade or two ahead of the boys the same age. All of the girls I interviewed were still attending school.

Fany and I went to get my haircut this evening. I have always gotten it cut up in the mountains by my old house, but I decided I don't want to drive up there. The first place we went to was closed. The second place was a dollar more expensive than any other place. I know a dollar isn't much, but haircuts here only cost $3.00 - $3.50 so a dollar is proportionately significant. I thought about paying the extra dollar because it is right by my house. But the lady inside was really grumpy and angry looking, so we left.

Tomorrow we are interviewing fifty kids. Saturday we will be filling out the questionnaire with 100 kids from four youth groups in a different area - the place that is closest to Los Pinos. It's been fun to get around and see all of the different youth groups as well as the communities where the kids live.

I told Fany that last night I was thinking about how happy I am. My life is really good right now! I give thanks to God for bringing me to this moment. I have a church I love, that is teaching me and guiding me. I have a job I love, where I am learning and growing. My family is healthy. I have lots of good friends. All I need right now is $300 more in monthly sponsorship and a haircut. The haircut will be taken care of soon and I have faith God will connect me with the right people to provide the monthly sponsorship. I have never felt this happy and stress free. This is a great time of my life and I am taking the time to enjoy and appreciate it.