Faith

Today was an intense day.  I woke up at 9:47 and was supposed to be at church at 10 a.m.  Ooops!  Since it will be my last week to attend church in Honduras I threw on some clothes and ran out the door.  I really didn't want to miss it.  Little did I know I'd be gone until almost 7 pm!

Church was good.  I love it more each time I go.  I got up and shared a testimony about waiting for God's timing.  At first I asked someone to translate for me.  I don't know why.  A safety blanket I guess.  I started out in Spanish and never needed the translator at all.  I guess I just needed to know he was there in order to stand up in front of everyone.

I thanked them for receiving me with such open arms.  They have been wonderful to me since the moment I "accidentally" wandered in.

After church or meetings I always offer rides to people who are headed in my direction.  Especially in the evenings after classes or prayer group when it is dark.  Some of the ladies walk pretty far all alone.  I don't like that.  It is too dangerous!

Since they know I always want to give rides to people, today a lady asked me for a ride and also asked if I could give a ride to someone else.  I said sure.  The second lady and her daughter were headed for the hospital to visit her one month old baby,  The baby can't be released because she is hooked up to a breathing machine.  They just needed a ride to the nearest bus stop.

I decided I had nothing else to do, so I gave the lady and her daughter a ride to the hospital.  We ended up having coffee together and talking about a lot of things.

She goes to the hospital every day at 10 am to see her baby until 11 am.  Then she waits outside until 3 pm when visiting hours start again until 4 pm.  She never once complained about it being inconvenient, although she did say that the hour passes too quickly.  She was grateful for the nurses who she said are like angels because they love her baby well when she is not there.  I respect her positive attitude.

In the end she decided that she would like me to be the Godmother of her baby.  This is not typical in the church she and I belong to now.  But she and I were both raised in Catholic churches, so I know what she is talking about.  I told her that to me, being a Godmother is something I would take very seriously and is not something I could say yes to so quickly.  I asked if she did not have other friends that she knows better who might be good Godmothers.  As she continued to insist I told her I would pray about it.

I have two major concerns.  The first is that I don't know this woman.  I don't know how long our friendship might last.  I don't know where she lives or if I will be a regular part of her life in the future.  I don't want to be a Godparent to a child I might never see.  That would be sad.

My second concern is hard to admit, but it is reality.  Sometimes people think that North Americans have a lot of money.  Sometimes it is just assumed that you can afford to buy expensive things and that you have an easy life, simply because you are from North America.  I would hate to be a Godmother just because someone thinks I am going to buy things for their child.

I do not know this lady well enough to say that she is thinking that way.  But I also don't know her well enough to know that she is not thinking that way.

I told her we both need to pray about it and not rush into things.

In the past week I learned that two more of my friends are going without food.  All three of them have kids.  Of course there is Ana with her four kids.  The other two ladies each have one child.

After all of this time, having NO food is a concept I still cannot grasp.  I have never gone hungry.  I lived on cans of tomato soup with a slice of Kraft cheese for days at a time when I was in my early 20's.  I didn't think about it at the time, but looking back I would say that was as hard as I ever had it.  I always had something.  The people closest to me are going without food.  Their shelves are empty.  I am not sure what to do.

One friend told me after the fact that her family had been without food or money.  She and her husband prayed and their prayers were answered in really cool ways.  I accidentally brought her left overs one day.  The next day, out of nowhere, someone else brought her food.  And someone sent unexpected money a third day.  I love her and her family very, very much.  It hurts me to think they are without food.  But it is also a great testimony to God's faithfulness when she tells me afterward that she was without food, she prayed, and God provided.

I can't save the world.  But I can be more attentive and help as God calls me.

I was just talking to a man in my prayer group this week about the concept that necessity can create deeper faith.  We discussed the idea that if a person always has their basic needs met, they may never have the opportunity to completely depend on God.  However, if you are forced by necessity to completely depend on God, you have a daily opportunity to see His provision and develop faith and gratitude.  Then it is easier to release the control in all areas of your life to God's hands.