It's Not Easy Being Green

Today at work I got to translate for one of our donors who is visiting from Canada. I thought he was visiting because he had been here in 2003 and made some connections at that time. Good thing I have nothing but wonderful things to say about the place where I volunteer and my co-workers because I didn't realize he's a big supporter of our organization and a hot shot in the Canadian government.

Afterward, I talked to the people who will be training me to teach women to read. I am going to get a copy of my class work ahead of time, so I can review them before class since Spanish is not my primary language. That will be so nice! A lot less pressure than if I had to keep up with the rest of the class as we go along.

This week my project is handing out the backpacks and doing surveys to find out which kids in the communities we serve are at the greatest risk so we can add them to our clubs. We have to find 75 kids in Los Pinos, and then fill in the spaces of kids who will graduate from the programs in other communities we serve.

I am not allowed to do surveys because my white face could make people think they are going to receive lots of "stuff". I felt really embarrassed today when my boss told everyone that I am not allowed to go out recruiting families and interviewing kids. She said we want the families to get involved with our program for what we really have to offer, not for materialistic things they will want when they see someone from North America.

So, while my co-workers are out in the field this week, I will be at home studying. I have to prepare for the class I am receiving to learn how to teach women to write. I will also be working on lesson plans for the class I am leading on Wednesdays for kids who need help with conduct disorder and impulse control.

Tomorrow I am allowed to hand out backpacks to the kids in Villa Nueva. That will be fun!

Sometimes, especially since I haven't served with teams for a while, I forget the effect my white skin has over people. Days like today make me sad. I realize that I can live here for the rest of my life, but in some ways I will never be able to serve in the same way as my co-workers, just because of the color of my skin and eyes. I will always be different. Sometimes different is good. But this week it's not.