I've haven't written in a super long time because I was trying to follow the golden rule - If you don't have anything good to say, say nothing at all.
Well, I don't have much positive to say, but I've gotten some messages asking if I'm okay. The truth is that sometimes I'm okay, and sometimes I'm not.
I went to the doctor a week and a half ago on Monday. He seemed confident I had Zika and that it should be gone by Friday or Saturday. Every day that week I would call the transportation people and say, "I need to cancel my transportation for today." I kept thinking and hoping and praying I'd be well enough to work the next day.
I went back to work the following Monday morning just for our devotional. After the devotional my boss was talking to me and I couldn't even hold the conversation. So, I went back to the doctor.
This time he wanted to do bloodwork. He hadn't done that the first time around because really, the treatment is all the same - suero (Spanish Pedialyte), ibuprofen, histamine, and rest. Lab work is time consuming and can be expensive. I spent 15 hours and was thankful my insurance covered most of it. I spent about $50 out of pocket.
First he sent me to a hospital, which Fany says is the only place they test for Zika. I also had bloodwork done at the medical center where he works and a feces sample to check for parasites.
When I left his office on Tuesday he shook his head and said he thought I had Zika, Chikungunya and amoebas. Thankfully the Zika and parasite tests both came back negative. Since there is no test for Chikungunya, that is what I am left with. The official diagnosis he wrote was "unspecified virus transmitted by mosquitos".
Of all the things I could have, Chikungunya is the worst option. Quite a few friends who got it a year ago just had a full blown recurrence right before I got sick. Some still had lingering pain from a year ago before the second outbreak.
It is frustrating to think I have something that could cause ongoing pain for a year, or more. I told Fany I think I am getting a little taste of how her Fibromyalgia must feel.
In the mornings I wake up feeling good, except my stomach. On Saturday the diarrhea started. The doctor said this is typical too. Thank God I don't have the vomiting or the all over body rash. I have an odd rash that started on my belly, moved to my head, and is now on my left arm. I also never got the fever, which people say is horrible. But I do get what feels like hot flashes. The doctor said he's had some other patients who were the same.
The first week it was a muscular pain. I thought it was from working out at the gym, so I tried to work through it. It was nearly impossible to walk. Then the rash kicked in with pressure in my chest and shortness of breath. I knew at that point something was wrong.
Today is day 20. Last week the joint pain began. That's probably the worst part. It makes me grumpy and I start to think I will never get better. It aches while you're resting and it aches if you are moving, so you just can't win. Ibuprofen is supposed to help, but 600 mg doesn't touch it.
So, that's why I haven't been writing. I am frustrated because I can't work. Each day I plan to work the next day and get all excited but then I am in pain and I can't go. I had one good day 2 Saturdays ago. I thought I was all better. But I wasn't. Yesterday was a pretty good day too. But today is one of my worst days ever.
My friend Don Juan (not the Don Juan that some of you know) had to bury his son today. Yesterday he was killed in Los Pinos as he left for work in the morning. Don Juan is a volunteer with the place where I serve, but I knew him from the first church I used to attend here. He lives next door to Erika, so we kept in contact after I left that church. I was excited to learn he would be volunteering for my organization in Los Pinos. He has always been very kind to me.
All of my coworkers and my boss have spent the past 2 days with him and his family. But I can't go. It makes me feel like crap not to be there for him. But also, the people here go to work even when they can barely walk. So I feel like a wimp that I don't go and support him and deal with the pain.
I was raised to rest when I am sick. The doctor told me I have to rest. My boss even told me she wants me to rest. But I still feel guilty.
Yesterday in the club of 25 kids they did a community service project. It's one of the highlights of the year. I missed it. The sent me pictures and recorded a voice message for me, saying they miss me and want me to get better soon. It was adorable! But the bottom line is that I missed an important day in their lives. I spent 7 hours at the doctor's office/hospital on Tuesday. Then I went back at 7:15 a.m. Wednesday and had to stay until 3:15 p.m.
On a positive note, I have a really nice doctor. He was done working at 1 pm and saw me sitting in the waiting room. He came over and asked me what I was doing. I said waiting for the lab results. He asked what time they would be done. At 3:15 he was standing outside of the laboratory door with his lunchbox in his hand and his white coat folded over his arm. I came out and started to head to the waiting room, but he called me over. He had been waiting just for that! He did a mini-consult there in the hallway and told me I didn't have any parasites, I was just sick with "the virus".
It's almost like "that which shall not be named".
I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself. Mostly I succeed, except on days like today when I would give anything to be with my literacy class, or with Don Juan and his family, as they bury their 26 year old son.
Things could be worse, for sure. But they also could be better.
Usually every year at this time, I head back to the US for Telluride Bluegrass Festival. This year my brother and his family didn't go, so they didn't buy me a ticket. It would have been horrible to try to camp for 10 days being this sick. And worse if I had a ticket, but had to stay home. So, I guess this is how it was all meant to be.
I'll download some of the pictures from the kids' community project another day. Now I'm headed back to bed.
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