Wednesday and Thursday I did home visits in my new community. I am really loving it! It's actually really close to my house, but I do still go with a driver and a guard. They drive us up to a community center at the top of the mountain and drop us off. We are allowed to use their kitchen and bathrooms, which is nice. We drop off our lunches in the fridge each morning, hide our cell phones in the kitchen, and head out.
Some of the families are already getting used to having me around. For the past two weeks I've been doing a survey with the kids we currently serve.
As we work on the surveys we see that some of the kids we are serving are not as needy as some of the other families in the community who are not receiving our support. It appears that in this community kids were allowed to enter the club just because their older siblings attended. Parents are going to be mad, but we are making it known that from now on the kids will be assessed according to seven risk factors which were established by our social workers. Only kids who demonstrate the risk factors can be invited to join Impacto Juvenil, even if their siblings were once part. We have to serve the kids who need us most.
Next year 21 of our 25 kids will graduate from my new club. My coworker and I have to find new kids to replace the 21 who will graduate. It is mandatory that we complete at least 63 surveys in order to choose the 21 kids. We need three surveys for every child we accept.
My coworker is fairly new to her position. She started as an intern with us last year and really stood out. She has a degree in psychology, but she was hired as a mentor and is now the leader of everything in Villa Nueva. She hopes to be hired as a psychologist one day.
One of the biggest things we have noticed is that the person before us was doing things FOR the people instead of with them. Families were not encouraged to be independent and have come to believe that they can't function independently. My coworker and I are already working to put the power back into the families' hands.
On Wednesday the psychologist rode home with us. She said she was unable to give the lesson that day at the Strong Family program because the mothers were so upset. They had gone to pick up their kids' grades. Six mothers had children who didn't pass their classes. For each class a child doesn't pass, the parents have to pay $50 for "recuperation", which is basically summer school. The other hitch is that they have to pay it this week. Nobody has that kind of money, especially within two days of being notified of the situation.
Thursday my coworker and I made it a priority to visit the homes of the mothers who were upset. It was very interesting.
When we arrived at our second visit we were surprised to find the father at home. Normally he works. It was great to talk to him in person. I probably wouldn't have understood his point of view if he hadn't been there to explain.
They live in a tiny rented house. It's one small room with a cement floor and wooden walls. Inside is a bed, a table, and one chair. They invited me to sit on the bed. My coworker sat on the floor. The bed was old and wobbly. I was afraid I was going to break it or fall off. Everything in the home was clean. There was not a stitch of food. Under the table were plastic jugs of water. On top of the table was a huge boom box with lights that glowed different colors and some clean dishes. Clothes were folded in a corner with a sheet placed over top. Seven people sleep in tiny room. I'm not sure how.
My coworker and I talked with the family for about an hour. The father said that he has made it clear to his daughter. If she did not do her part and pass all of her classes, he would not continue to pay for her education. That sounds really harsh, but as I talked to them I began to understand.
The father said that he was not going to go back on his word. His daughter knew expectations and she knew the consequences. She failed two classes with grades in the 30's. The mom tried to blame the teacher, and the daughter blamed the mother.
What seemed apparent to me was that the daughter is involved in too many extracurricular activities. She comes home, drops off her backpack, and leaves. She returns in the evening tired and ready for bed. She doesn't do her homework. School was not her priority.
Meanwhile, they don't have food to eat. They are going without basic necessities because the money goes toward education. But the daughter is not studying. In the father's mind, harsh reality dictates that he can no longer choose to continue to pay for school for his daughter. The money could be better used to feed his family.
I tried really hard not to put my North American ideals on them. I asked what the father hopes his daughter will be doing five years from now. He answered honestly, "I think she will be selling tortillas."
Everyone knows, selling tortillas sucks. It is an extremely difficult job with very little profit. The ladies wake up at 2 a.m. to make the tortillas. They leave the house early in the morning and come home after dark, spending all day selling tortillas. It is hard, physical labor. Many ladies only make enough profit to buy more ingredients for the dough the next day. No father wants his daughter to sell tortillas when she grows up.
By the end of our visit the father seemed to have softened his stance a little bit. He is not a rigid or angry or stubborn man. He is simply a father, trying to do what he thinks is best for his family. I respect him. There are not many fathers who care enough to set rules for their children and then follow through with them.
My coworker and I were not about to undermine what this man was trying to do in his home. We told the parents we will support them in whatever they decide. The mother really wanted us to pay for everything and make the problem disappear. The father wanted his daughter to learn a lesson the hard way. The really, really hard way. We told them we would be back next week to see what they decide.
The second house we visited was not as calm as the first. That mom was in the middle of a breakdown. She cried through most of the visit. She says she has fallen into a depression because her daughter failed five classes, doesn't want to study any more and refuses to work at anything. In fact the daughter is embarrassed that her mother works.
This house was super big. It was all cement with three huge rooms. But there was almost nothing inside. One room had a used tire. One room had a bench, three chairs and a round plastic table. There was also a shelf with a set of burners on top. The third room had beds. The windows were holes in the cement with no shutters, screens or glass. There was no door in the entrance. The mom lives there alone with her three young kids. That was terrifying to me. Anyone, at any time, could walk into that house and steal from them or worse.
While the mother sobbed the daughter looked at her fingernail polish. I asked her what she would like to do. She said she wants to stay at home and do nothing. We asked how she will eat or get new clothes. She said she will rob people.
This is not a hard-edged street kid. She's a spoiled girl who wouldn't even know how to rob anyone. At least not at this point. But she's going to have to figure out some direction for her life.
The mother explained that because of her own difficult childhood she tried to provide a better life for her own kids. They have never lifted a finger around the house. They get new clothes when they ask for them. The mother works hard so her kids have everything they need. But they are not grateful. The 15 year old says she is "too little" to work and she refuses to study. The future looks grim and all her mother can do is cry.
Today we did another follow up for the Strong Families program. There were over 50 parents there! They wrote down the things are now implementing in their homes from what they learned in the class. Many, many of them talked about learning patience and communication. Lots of them said they used to be annoyed all of the time, but now they listen to and respect their children. Over and over I see that parents here have never considered the idea of communicating with their children until they attend our Strong Families program.
When we finished the class nobody wanted to leave. It was hot and crowded but everyone sat around and talked. I love seeing the women sitting together, laughing and chatting. Months ago, on the first day of class, they were strangers. They barely spoke. Today they are leaving not only with the knowledge that was imparted, but also with a stronger support system around them. Familia Fuerte is a great program.
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| Each parent got a diploma from the Strong Family program |
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| The graduates with diplomas and a basket of food |
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| Previous graduates of Familia Fuerte attending a follow up class |
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| Baskets of food as a Christmas blessing |
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| Carrying the food basket home |
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