Giving God the Reins (Alt. title: We don't always need all the answers)

God did something super cool today. I've been turning it over in my mind, trying to figure out how to put it on paper (or in this case on the computer) in a way that will make sense to you. It's a little mind boggling and I've been taking cold medicine, so I hope this comes out right.

At church Pastora Ruth talked about things are heavy on my mind. She talked about walking in obedience, being in God's presence and seeking His will.

God showed me a few weeks ago that my trip to New York is a step of obedience. I don't have to understand why, and it doesn't have to make sense logically. If I am being obedient, I will go to New York. (That's a tough one for someone who depends firmly on logic.)

During a time of prayer the Holy Spirit suddenly put an image in my mind. The image was this:

It's the image my friend Jody made for me when I wrote in my blog (5/18/15) about God being my river rafting guide. She gave my words from the blog to an artist. From those words he made this image for me. It's a perfect reminder that I am not in charge. God is steering and guiding and directing everything. Or at least He will if I allow.

Normally when I go to the US, every single day is packed with appointments - things to do and people to see. It's strange that this time I have nothing planned. And stranger still that I am completely at peace with planning nothing.

Every time anyone asks me why I am going to New York, I struggle. I honestly don't know what to say because God hasn't shown me what He has in store for me there. I just know I am supposed to go as a step of obedience and it would be wrong if I didn't go.

I'm praying and thinking a lot about what I am supposed to do once I get to NY. I'm normally ready to head back to Honduras after three weeks in the US. What will I do with three months?

During  my time of prayer/thought, all I can imagine is floating on the river behind the house where I grew up. I don't have any other plans or ideas. Sounds totally crazy, right? But sometimes that is how God shows me things. When I can only picture things one way (like me floating on the river), I know that is what I need to do.

Last night on the telephone my Mom asked, "So what do you think you're going to do for three months in New York?"

I replied, "I really don't know. The only thing God has shown me so far is that I'm supposed to spend my time floating on the water. That's all I know."

Mom asked what I was "going to float on". I told her a friend offered his kayak. And then she changed the topic.

Today at church, when God showed me the image of God as my river rafting guide, everything became more clear.

Now I see what God wants me to do. He wants me to go to NY with an open heart and mind. He wants me to let Him steer the raft. He wants to guide me. He wants me to just float on the river. Not in the literal sense, as I was thinking, but rather by letting Him take the reins. His will, not mine.

What could be better than that?!!

It sure does make it difficult to explain to the rest of the world, but I wouldn't want it any other way.