This morning Karen and my friend who is caring for her came over. I cannot imagine being deaf and unable to communicate. Everything is so difficult and every solution I think of requires a life skill she doesn't have.
For example, on Sunday Karen slept all day. I thought the obvious answer was to give her a clock and tell her on Monday she should get out of bed and be ready by a certain hour. However, Karen was never taught to tell time.
She also has never learned to consider her own desires or preferences. She eats what she is told, when she is told. My friend gave her a piece of paper, thinking she might be bored. She drew until her hand was so tired that she couldn't draw anymore. What my friend had intended as an enjoyable pastime was received by Karen as a task.
Today I made coffee for the first time in my house. (The housekeeper brought me a little strainer which you fill with coffee, then pour boiling water through.) My friend said coffee is one of Karen's favorite things. Karen seemed excited, but then she barely touched it. I was worried I made it wrong. I tasted if afterward to make sure it was okay. It was fine. I still don't know why she didn't drink it. Obviously she couldn't tell me.
The good news is, she seems happy and generally relaxed. The aggressive and violent behaviors which previous caregivers reported are non-existent. She isn't eating much, but I assume that is because she was offered little food in the previous placement and her stomach is not accustomed to regular meals.
My friend is observing Karen's behavior this week to be sure she is mentally stable enough to live in the new placement. So far we see no signs of aggression or self harm, which is amazing considering all she was reportedly doing in the previous placement.
As my friend and I talked, Karen giggled now and then. We tried to include her as much as possible. Her giggle was sweet. Previous caretakers believed her giggles meant she was communicating with the devil. It seemed like healthy giggling to me.
The cleaning lady came today. She agreed to come twice this week and twice next week. I cooked us lunch today. My foot was fine until I tried to take out the garbage. Bad choice. I'm no longer bed bound, but I am house bound still.
I did my first homework for Spanish classes today. The last time I studied Spanish was 2011. I remember taking hours and hours to figure out my homework. I guessed a lot. It was hard. This time was so much easier! I finished five pages of homework in less than an hour. I can't explain why some of the answers are correct, but I know they are right from hearing the language spoken all of the time. My teacher can explain why in my next class.
I switched back to my original teacher from 2011. The other teacher wasn't challenging me enough. My first teacher remembered me. I used to be so nervous before my classes with her! Now we just chat right along.
She said I am truly bilingual. I guess I knew that, but it was still nice to hear. She said I don't struggle to think of words, my language is very fluid, and my accent is good and easy to understand. I told her I would like to improve my accent, but she said that unless I live here for many, many years, my accent is as good as it can be.
She figured out what I need to work on and we have a plan moving forward. I'm excited to better my Spanish and feel more confident about my communication skills.
Fany came home long enough to sign Laura up for school. The new school year begins in two weeks. Prices went up for enrollment and the monthly fee. The school also fired Fany's favorite bus driver. Last year Fany was so stressed out! This year she is totally relaxed. She is going to pray and believe they will find transportation.
Thank you for your prayers for Karen! Her transition has been incredibly smooth. So far she's doing extremely well. As long as she remains emotionally stable she will move into her new placement soon.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Monday, January 16, 2017
Cast off
Today was the big day. Time for the cast to come off! I had no idea what the doctor would say. For the later part of last week I started feeling better. Yesterday and this morning I even walked a little. It felt good. No pain.
This morning I got up and showered, fixed my hair, put on jewelry for the first time in months (can't wear jewelry when I'm working because I could get mugged). Fany and I had painted our nails so I found clothes that would go over the cast and match my nails. I was feeling good!
The cab driver came right on time. It felt strange to be outside of my house watching bright colored houses whiz past from the back seat of his car.
(Nothing actually whizzed. My taxi driver is an older man with a very old car. We drive quite slowly because the car is not capable of, or safe at, high speeds.)
I got to the doctor's office a half hour early, expecting to be the first one. Two people were already ahead of me. The doctor came 50 minutes late. Thank God I hadn't asked the cab to wait.
As I waited, I prayed. Maybe I'd go back to work tomorrow? I was starving. The lunch hour was quickly passing.
My foot began to throb. It needed to be elevated. The waiting room was almost empty. I swung my leg around and propped my calf up on the chair next to me, careful not to let any dirty part of my foot touch the plastic seat. A man who was waiting with another patient looked at me and said, "Que ordinaria." He just stood there glaring at me.
I'm not sure exactly what ordinary means in Spanish, but I know it's not good. Fany used it last night to describe a girl whose chest was bursting out of her dress. I think it means something like an ignorant scum-bag. The man was clearly mad that I had my casted ankle on the seat. I didn't care. There were plenty of empty seats, everything was clean and my ankle felt better elevated.
Finally it was my turn. After hitting on me the last time, the doctor didn't seem to remember me this time! It was strange. He asked if I had even been in this office before. I had to remind him that this was my second cast because my first one got wet. Then he remembered.
He cut off the cast and told me to walk. Timidly, I took a few steps. Everything seemed fine. He told me to walk without fear, so I tried to walk normally and everything still seemed fine. My ankle was yellow, green, and dark purple. The ankle bone was barely visible from the swelling all around. The inside of my leg was swollen higher than the ankle bone.
My doctor and nurse both assured me that was normal, even after 21 days. He said it is important now to move my foot, but not too much. This way, he said, I'll avoid physical therapy.
I walked to the cashier to pay my bill. It hurt. But my cab came before I had a chance to ask the doctor if it should really hurt this much.
The cab dropped me off at home. All I wanted to do was get out of my house. I considered walking over to the neighborhood next door to buy cheese, but thought that might be pushing it. (Thank God I didn't!)
I could go to the grocery store, I thought. That's easy. I'll drive there, I can lean on the grocery cart if my foot is sore, then I'll just drive back home. No problem.
I was wrong. Just getting out of the garage was tough. Opening and closing the gate was a difficult feat. I can no longer kick the rock that I use to prop open the door. That rock is heavier than I ever realized. I had to bend over and pick up the rock and put it in front of the door.
When I lifted the right side of my body into the car and tried to swing my left side in, I almost cried out in pain. I considered turning around and going back into the house. But opening that gate was so much work. Driving had to be easier.
Driving was fine for the first two blocks. Then I heard popping sounds as I pushed in the clutch. It hurt enough that I wondered if I would make it through the store. But I only needed oatmeal, cat litter and sugar. That's not too much walking. I could do it.
There was no parking in the front row, but a car was leaving in the second row so I waited while the cars behind honked at me. By the time I hobbled into the store, I felt like everyone was watching me, although I'm sure they weren't.
The oatmeal had been moved, but I found it. The cat litter was not in stock. I forgot all about the sugar. My ankle hurt so much, I just wanted to sit down in the middle of the aisle and cry.
I couldn't think of anyone to carry me out of the store and take my car home so I had to keep moving.
I felt like when I used to do sports - when you think you can't take another step, but then you do. And another and another. Finally I found myself at the checkout line.
I noticed I move slower than usual these days. I think it's from being in my bed, away from the hustle and bustle of society. I drive less aggressively. I even signed my name on my credit card receipt more slowly. The bagger asked if she could carry my groceries to my car. She was already down the ramp and in the parking lot before I got to the exit. That time everyone really was looking at us. It was pretty funny.
I walked slowly down the ramp with her waiting. I explained, "My ankle is hurt," lifting my pant leg over my ankle. She freaked out! Her eyes bulged out of her head and she exclaimed, "Siiiii hombre!" In her surprise she responded in a very informal manner which would not normally be acceptable. She said I need to see a doctor. I explained I just came from the doctor and the injury actually happened the day after Christmas. She told me I should not be walking around like that.
The drive home was a killer. I contemplated leaving the car outside the gate and groceries in the car, but I found turkey sausage on sale for half price. It needed to go in the fridge. And it would be easier to carry the food from inside the garage.
Tomorrow was supposed to be the cleaning lady's last day. I'll need her a little longer than I expected.
I sent my boss photos of the monstrosity that is my ankle. She was surprised it was still such a mess and told me to rest as long as I need so it will heal right. Messages have been rolling in from coworkers.
So, my cast is off. But my ankle still hurts. A lot. I will not be going back to work tomorrow. I didn't really expect to, but I kind of hoped... I'm no longer on bed rest but I am still limited to moving around my house. My prayer is that I will be well by the 27th.
This morning I got up and showered, fixed my hair, put on jewelry for the first time in months (can't wear jewelry when I'm working because I could get mugged). Fany and I had painted our nails so I found clothes that would go over the cast and match my nails. I was feeling good!
The cab driver came right on time. It felt strange to be outside of my house watching bright colored houses whiz past from the back seat of his car.
(Nothing actually whizzed. My taxi driver is an older man with a very old car. We drive quite slowly because the car is not capable of, or safe at, high speeds.)
I got to the doctor's office a half hour early, expecting to be the first one. Two people were already ahead of me. The doctor came 50 minutes late. Thank God I hadn't asked the cab to wait.
As I waited, I prayed. Maybe I'd go back to work tomorrow? I was starving. The lunch hour was quickly passing.
My foot began to throb. It needed to be elevated. The waiting room was almost empty. I swung my leg around and propped my calf up on the chair next to me, careful not to let any dirty part of my foot touch the plastic seat. A man who was waiting with another patient looked at me and said, "Que ordinaria." He just stood there glaring at me.
I'm not sure exactly what ordinary means in Spanish, but I know it's not good. Fany used it last night to describe a girl whose chest was bursting out of her dress. I think it means something like an ignorant scum-bag. The man was clearly mad that I had my casted ankle on the seat. I didn't care. There were plenty of empty seats, everything was clean and my ankle felt better elevated.
Finally it was my turn. After hitting on me the last time, the doctor didn't seem to remember me this time! It was strange. He asked if I had even been in this office before. I had to remind him that this was my second cast because my first one got wet. Then he remembered.
He cut off the cast and told me to walk. Timidly, I took a few steps. Everything seemed fine. He told me to walk without fear, so I tried to walk normally and everything still seemed fine. My ankle was yellow, green, and dark purple. The ankle bone was barely visible from the swelling all around. The inside of my leg was swollen higher than the ankle bone.
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| This is the inside of my ankle. Normally there is a bone there. |
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| Still so swollen and colorful... |
My doctor and nurse both assured me that was normal, even after 21 days. He said it is important now to move my foot, but not too much. This way, he said, I'll avoid physical therapy.
I walked to the cashier to pay my bill. It hurt. But my cab came before I had a chance to ask the doctor if it should really hurt this much.
The cab dropped me off at home. All I wanted to do was get out of my house. I considered walking over to the neighborhood next door to buy cheese, but thought that might be pushing it. (Thank God I didn't!)
I could go to the grocery store, I thought. That's easy. I'll drive there, I can lean on the grocery cart if my foot is sore, then I'll just drive back home. No problem.
I was wrong. Just getting out of the garage was tough. Opening and closing the gate was a difficult feat. I can no longer kick the rock that I use to prop open the door. That rock is heavier than I ever realized. I had to bend over and pick up the rock and put it in front of the door.
When I lifted the right side of my body into the car and tried to swing my left side in, I almost cried out in pain. I considered turning around and going back into the house. But opening that gate was so much work. Driving had to be easier.
Driving was fine for the first two blocks. Then I heard popping sounds as I pushed in the clutch. It hurt enough that I wondered if I would make it through the store. But I only needed oatmeal, cat litter and sugar. That's not too much walking. I could do it.
There was no parking in the front row, but a car was leaving in the second row so I waited while the cars behind honked at me. By the time I hobbled into the store, I felt like everyone was watching me, although I'm sure they weren't.
The oatmeal had been moved, but I found it. The cat litter was not in stock. I forgot all about the sugar. My ankle hurt so much, I just wanted to sit down in the middle of the aisle and cry.
I couldn't think of anyone to carry me out of the store and take my car home so I had to keep moving.
I felt like when I used to do sports - when you think you can't take another step, but then you do. And another and another. Finally I found myself at the checkout line.
I noticed I move slower than usual these days. I think it's from being in my bed, away from the hustle and bustle of society. I drive less aggressively. I even signed my name on my credit card receipt more slowly. The bagger asked if she could carry my groceries to my car. She was already down the ramp and in the parking lot before I got to the exit. That time everyone really was looking at us. It was pretty funny.
I walked slowly down the ramp with her waiting. I explained, "My ankle is hurt," lifting my pant leg over my ankle. She freaked out! Her eyes bulged out of her head and she exclaimed, "Siiiii hombre!" In her surprise she responded in a very informal manner which would not normally be acceptable. She said I need to see a doctor. I explained I just came from the doctor and the injury actually happened the day after Christmas. She told me I should not be walking around like that.
The drive home was a killer. I contemplated leaving the car outside the gate and groceries in the car, but I found turkey sausage on sale for half price. It needed to go in the fridge. And it would be easier to carry the food from inside the garage.
Tomorrow was supposed to be the cleaning lady's last day. I'll need her a little longer than I expected.
I sent my boss photos of the monstrosity that is my ankle. She was surprised it was still such a mess and told me to rest as long as I need so it will heal right. Messages have been rolling in from coworkers.
So, my cast is off. But my ankle still hurts. A lot. I will not be going back to work tomorrow. I didn't really expect to, but I kind of hoped... I'm no longer on bed rest but I am still limited to moving around my house. My prayer is that I will be well by the 27th.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Pescado Frito
Fany brought me lunch today.
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| This is a special plate, typical of Honduras - Fried Fish (Pescado Frito) |
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| With Teeth! |
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| Only the head and a fin left - I think I should have eaten more of the head, so I threw the rest in the garbage quickly. I don't want Fany to be mad if I was supposed to eat the eyeball or something. |
Problems before noon
I slept well for the second time since getting my cast. It's so nice to wake up feeling rested.
My friend came by with some groceries. She is leaving my house to go pick up a girl who is deaf and needs to get out of her current placement.
My friend used to serve at the same ministry where the girl lives. They had adjacent bedrooms for two years. Back then the girl was a typical young adult. At times she could be grumpy or lazy. Otherwise she liked to laugh and joke. At the end of 2014 my friend left that ministry. We heard stories of mistreatment during 2015 and 2016. Now the girl is being described as violent, homicidal and suicidal.
We are hoping that her behavior, if it truly is as violent and aggressive as the leaders of the ministry say (which is questionable), will change with time once she is in a place where she will be treated with kindness and respect.
It is a risk for my friend to take the girl into her home, but she cannot leave her where she is. The people who run the ministry say the girl has been calm since my friend's last visit. They believe it's because of an exorcism they performed on her. My friend and I choose to believe it's because the girl knew she only had to live in that place for three more days. We don't think there were ever any spiritual issues, but rather behavioral problems as a result of abuse and neglect.
Please pray for this girl as she spends a couple of weeks with my friend to stabilize her behavior, then moves on to a ministry that has agreed to take her and is fairly equipped to meet her needs. After spending 20+ years with nobody investing in her, she will now be taught life skills, how to communicate, and shown unconditional love. We know it's late in coming, but we are hoping she can learn to accept the love and the help she deserves.
I can't imagine not being able to communicate with anyone, not being able to understand what is going on in the world around me, not having access to education, not having a purpose in life, not being loved, and on top of that being treated poorly. I pray today will be the beginning of a better life for this young girl.
Fany came over with some bad news this morning. Our friend Cynthia was kidnapped last night on her way home from work. "Colectivos" or shared taxis are the cheapest way to get around, but they are so dangerous because anyone in the world can get into the cab with you.
Cynthia is okay. A woman who was in the front seat stole all of her stuff and held her hostage. That's all I know right now. It's a common occurrence. Everyone I know who rides in colectivos has been robbed multiple times. Buses are the same.
Yesterday the lady who cleans my house was late getting here. I was really nervous because I know she has to take two different colectivos to get here. I didn't want to call her because it's not safe for her to answer her phone while she is in the street or the cab. Finally I broke down and called. Her phone was shut off. I imagined it had been stolen and the battery pulled out so it couldn't be tracked. Just then, I heard her outside my gate.
I told her I was worried and vacillating, trying to decide if I should call her phone. She said her husband goes through the same dilemma when she is late, not wanting to put her in danger by having her phone ring in public. Turned out I was calling the wrong number. Her phone was right in her purse. When I told her I was worried she told me several stories about being robbed at knifepoint and gunpoint in cabs and colectivos.
All of my coworkers made it home safe last night after our little dinner. Thank God for that.
My friend who serves in Los Pinos is having to make some tough decisions. For the first time, I am very worried for her. School starts in February so she has to make sure the kids are enrolled and have all they need to start school. But the gangs were very irritable yesterday. Instead of their usual catcalls and telling her they want to marry her, they were stone faced and made her pay them money.
Any cars or people who do business have to pay an extortion fee to get in and out of communities like this. The gangs call them "impuestos" or taxes. Cabs and buses pay, the people who deliver water, soda, even Avon, all pay these fees in order to enter. My friend has always said she will never pay an extortion fee because she refuses to buy the bullets that will kill the people she loves. But now that it's actually happening, she's realizing it's not so cut and dry.
First they asked her for money for a Coke. She gave it to them. Yesterday they asked the boy who accompanies her for money. She had given him money to keep in his pocket for exactly that situation. He paid off the gang.
She thinks it is necessary for her to continue going into Los Pinos to make sure all of the kids are in school. I am encouraging her to ask the families to meet her at a church in a different sector. I hate the thought of her getting out of her car with bags of school supplies and uniforms. It makes her a prime target for more extortion, or worse.
It's tough for her to see things clearly since she is in the middle of the situation. She is thinking about the future of her ministry, the safety of the young man who always accompanies her, and the families she serves. To me, it feels like she is putting her personal safety last. Until now the gangs have let her go about her business. They have never been this aggressive with her in all of the years she has served in Los Pinos. She knew this was a possibility, but she never had to deal with it before.
I suggested that she take a break and give the gangs time to settle down. They are stressed out and on edge from the police operativos and turf fights with another gang. Maybe in a few weeks this will blow over and she can enter more safely.
She did say she will pray about if she really needs to go in, or if she just wants to. I pray God speaks clearly to her about that. There are other ways she can serve the people there while keeping herself and those she loves more safe.
After hearing all of this before noon, bed rest doesn't seem so bad today.
My friend came by with some groceries. She is leaving my house to go pick up a girl who is deaf and needs to get out of her current placement.
My friend used to serve at the same ministry where the girl lives. They had adjacent bedrooms for two years. Back then the girl was a typical young adult. At times she could be grumpy or lazy. Otherwise she liked to laugh and joke. At the end of 2014 my friend left that ministry. We heard stories of mistreatment during 2015 and 2016. Now the girl is being described as violent, homicidal and suicidal.
We are hoping that her behavior, if it truly is as violent and aggressive as the leaders of the ministry say (which is questionable), will change with time once she is in a place where she will be treated with kindness and respect.
It is a risk for my friend to take the girl into her home, but she cannot leave her where she is. The people who run the ministry say the girl has been calm since my friend's last visit. They believe it's because of an exorcism they performed on her. My friend and I choose to believe it's because the girl knew she only had to live in that place for three more days. We don't think there were ever any spiritual issues, but rather behavioral problems as a result of abuse and neglect.
Please pray for this girl as she spends a couple of weeks with my friend to stabilize her behavior, then moves on to a ministry that has agreed to take her and is fairly equipped to meet her needs. After spending 20+ years with nobody investing in her, she will now be taught life skills, how to communicate, and shown unconditional love. We know it's late in coming, but we are hoping she can learn to accept the love and the help she deserves.
I can't imagine not being able to communicate with anyone, not being able to understand what is going on in the world around me, not having access to education, not having a purpose in life, not being loved, and on top of that being treated poorly. I pray today will be the beginning of a better life for this young girl.
Fany came over with some bad news this morning. Our friend Cynthia was kidnapped last night on her way home from work. "Colectivos" or shared taxis are the cheapest way to get around, but they are so dangerous because anyone in the world can get into the cab with you.
Cynthia is okay. A woman who was in the front seat stole all of her stuff and held her hostage. That's all I know right now. It's a common occurrence. Everyone I know who rides in colectivos has been robbed multiple times. Buses are the same.
Yesterday the lady who cleans my house was late getting here. I was really nervous because I know she has to take two different colectivos to get here. I didn't want to call her because it's not safe for her to answer her phone while she is in the street or the cab. Finally I broke down and called. Her phone was shut off. I imagined it had been stolen and the battery pulled out so it couldn't be tracked. Just then, I heard her outside my gate.
I told her I was worried and vacillating, trying to decide if I should call her phone. She said her husband goes through the same dilemma when she is late, not wanting to put her in danger by having her phone ring in public. Turned out I was calling the wrong number. Her phone was right in her purse. When I told her I was worried she told me several stories about being robbed at knifepoint and gunpoint in cabs and colectivos.
All of my coworkers made it home safe last night after our little dinner. Thank God for that.
My friend who serves in Los Pinos is having to make some tough decisions. For the first time, I am very worried for her. School starts in February so she has to make sure the kids are enrolled and have all they need to start school. But the gangs were very irritable yesterday. Instead of their usual catcalls and telling her they want to marry her, they were stone faced and made her pay them money.
Any cars or people who do business have to pay an extortion fee to get in and out of communities like this. The gangs call them "impuestos" or taxes. Cabs and buses pay, the people who deliver water, soda, even Avon, all pay these fees in order to enter. My friend has always said she will never pay an extortion fee because she refuses to buy the bullets that will kill the people she loves. But now that it's actually happening, she's realizing it's not so cut and dry.
First they asked her for money for a Coke. She gave it to them. Yesterday they asked the boy who accompanies her for money. She had given him money to keep in his pocket for exactly that situation. He paid off the gang.
She thinks it is necessary for her to continue going into Los Pinos to make sure all of the kids are in school. I am encouraging her to ask the families to meet her at a church in a different sector. I hate the thought of her getting out of her car with bags of school supplies and uniforms. It makes her a prime target for more extortion, or worse.
It's tough for her to see things clearly since she is in the middle of the situation. She is thinking about the future of her ministry, the safety of the young man who always accompanies her, and the families she serves. To me, it feels like she is putting her personal safety last. Until now the gangs have let her go about her business. They have never been this aggressive with her in all of the years she has served in Los Pinos. She knew this was a possibility, but she never had to deal with it before.
I suggested that she take a break and give the gangs time to settle down. They are stressed out and on edge from the police operativos and turf fights with another gang. Maybe in a few weeks this will blow over and she can enter more safely.
She did say she will pray about if she really needs to go in, or if she just wants to. I pray God speaks clearly to her about that. There are other ways she can serve the people there while keeping herself and those she loves more safe.
After hearing all of this before noon, bed rest doesn't seem so bad today.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Good Friends
God has been spoiling me rotten lately. You know those days when you are able to really, truly sit back and relax because you know that He has everything under control? Ideally that's what we strive for every day, right? But many days I still try to manage things myself. Why? Because obviously I don't trust enough. Sometimes I think that God doesn't see the smaller things in my life. He's so busy, I believe he only has time for the really important stuff. Sometimes I lack faith. And I'm also a little bit of a control freak.
Today three of my friends from work came over. They called last night to say they were coming for lunch. I almost called the cleaning lady and asked if she could come early. I wanted everything to be perfect because they are all my bosses. One is the head of my community, another is the head of all of the communities, and the third is the assistant to our big boss. I didn't even invite them. They just said they were coming.
I didn't call the cleaning lady. She came an hour late, so I wished I had. But God had it covered. My friends called to say they were coming for dinner instead of lunch. We had lots of time to prepare. My house was sparkling clean when they got here.
First they made liquados - milkshakes with fruit and ice instead of ice cream. They brought eggs, hotdogs, plantains and beans for dinner. Honduran people deep fry their eggs in oil. It's not my favorite thing. Sometime I'll have to show them how I do it with a touch of butter and see what they say. The plantains were also fried. My tummy may take a while to recover. But it was so much fun!!!! We just laughed and laughed. They think I'm funny even when I don't think I'm funny at all. They discovered an app where you dance holding your telephone and the computer grades everyone. I couldn't dance, but at least I was out of my bed, sitting at the kitchen table for the first time since December 26th. I am grateful for their visit and their friendship.
In my last blog entry I wrote about my friend Ana who is always so thankful. A good friend (and blog reader) was moved to buy Ana a flat iron. She is one of the few visitors from the US who the kids and adults actually remember. Everyone likes to believe that the people here remember them. But the sad truth is, they don't. Sorry. They say we all look the same to them. Really, that's what they say. However, they do remember my friend's husband, which helps them remember her too. He sings beautifully. When he sings, the Holy Spirit takes ahold of the moment. It's unforgettable.
My coworkers told me exactly where I should go to get the best quality straightening iron for the best price. I have been doing some research online, and I know what she should get, but I'm going to tell Ana she needs to do some research herself before we go to the store. If she wants to cut and style hair, she needs to know when tools she is using. Ana is thrilled out of her mind that she will get a new flat iron once I am off bedrest. I am really excited too. Lately a lot of my friends/supporters have been blessing the people I serve. When I see the people around me blessed, I can't help but feel blessed too!
On Friday I started Spanish classes. The first one was free. When I tried to buy more online it wouldn't accept my credit card. It was frustrating! I was eager to get started and squeeze in as many classes as possible before I go back to work again. I called the office in California and left a message Friday. I also sent an IM. On Saturday I called and sent an email. On Monday their phone was disconnected, but I sent another email. I was ready to give up. I researched other online Spanish classes. But something told me to wait. Tuesday morning I got an email. The person remembered me from when I took classes in 2011. She said she would figure out payment later, but in the meantime I could schedule a class. Yesterday she sent me another email. She looked up my file. I have five classes already paid for from 2011! The price of the classes went up significantly since then, but my credits are still good!
As I thought back I realized that if my credit card had gone through on Friday as it should have, I never would have known. If I had switched to a different program, I would have missed out. Instead, God told me to wait it out and not to worry about time constraints. And now I get five "free" Spanish classes! I took one today. It was easy but the internet was messed up. My teacher is in Guatemala. We are both suffering through a horrible cold front with high winds that affect our internet connection. She ended up giving me another credit for our next class because we couldn't hear each other toward the end. But we did get to the point where I was finally learning something new. So now we are at a good place to start.
Yesterday was my Mom's birthday. I ordered flowers for her. (I had points on my credit card, so they were free to me, which was a bonus.) I thought she didn't have a very busy day on Wednesdays. Turned out I was mistaken. She volunteers all morning in the library and had to take a friend to run an errand in the afternoon. I almost asked if she could postpone her plans with her friend because I wanted her to be home when the flowers were delivered. In the end I decided not to ruin the surprise. I figured she'd enjoy the flowers more if she didn't know they were coming. If need be, she could get the flowers a day late. Then I prayed a lot. It's a silly thing to pray about - that your mom is home to get her birthday flowers. But I really did pray. And guess what? She did all of the things she had planned PLUS went out for a surprise birthday dinner AND she was at home to receive her flowers. God cares Mom being home to receive (free) flowers on her birthday.
I'm keeping a gratitude journal this year. I'm trying to limit each day to one topic only. Today I will be thankful for coworkers who are also friends. And who like to laugh. That's still one topic, right?
Today three of my friends from work came over. They called last night to say they were coming for lunch. I almost called the cleaning lady and asked if she could come early. I wanted everything to be perfect because they are all my bosses. One is the head of my community, another is the head of all of the communities, and the third is the assistant to our big boss. I didn't even invite them. They just said they were coming.
I didn't call the cleaning lady. She came an hour late, so I wished I had. But God had it covered. My friends called to say they were coming for dinner instead of lunch. We had lots of time to prepare. My house was sparkling clean when they got here.
First they made liquados - milkshakes with fruit and ice instead of ice cream. They brought eggs, hotdogs, plantains and beans for dinner. Honduran people deep fry their eggs in oil. It's not my favorite thing. Sometime I'll have to show them how I do it with a touch of butter and see what they say. The plantains were also fried. My tummy may take a while to recover. But it was so much fun!!!! We just laughed and laughed. They think I'm funny even when I don't think I'm funny at all. They discovered an app where you dance holding your telephone and the computer grades everyone. I couldn't dance, but at least I was out of my bed, sitting at the kitchen table for the first time since December 26th. I am grateful for their visit and their friendship.
In my last blog entry I wrote about my friend Ana who is always so thankful. A good friend (and blog reader) was moved to buy Ana a flat iron. She is one of the few visitors from the US who the kids and adults actually remember. Everyone likes to believe that the people here remember them. But the sad truth is, they don't. Sorry. They say we all look the same to them. Really, that's what they say. However, they do remember my friend's husband, which helps them remember her too. He sings beautifully. When he sings, the Holy Spirit takes ahold of the moment. It's unforgettable.
My coworkers told me exactly where I should go to get the best quality straightening iron for the best price. I have been doing some research online, and I know what she should get, but I'm going to tell Ana she needs to do some research herself before we go to the store. If she wants to cut and style hair, she needs to know when tools she is using. Ana is thrilled out of her mind that she will get a new flat iron once I am off bedrest. I am really excited too. Lately a lot of my friends/supporters have been blessing the people I serve. When I see the people around me blessed, I can't help but feel blessed too!
On Friday I started Spanish classes. The first one was free. When I tried to buy more online it wouldn't accept my credit card. It was frustrating! I was eager to get started and squeeze in as many classes as possible before I go back to work again. I called the office in California and left a message Friday. I also sent an IM. On Saturday I called and sent an email. On Monday their phone was disconnected, but I sent another email. I was ready to give up. I researched other online Spanish classes. But something told me to wait. Tuesday morning I got an email. The person remembered me from when I took classes in 2011. She said she would figure out payment later, but in the meantime I could schedule a class. Yesterday she sent me another email. She looked up my file. I have five classes already paid for from 2011! The price of the classes went up significantly since then, but my credits are still good!
As I thought back I realized that if my credit card had gone through on Friday as it should have, I never would have known. If I had switched to a different program, I would have missed out. Instead, God told me to wait it out and not to worry about time constraints. And now I get five "free" Spanish classes! I took one today. It was easy but the internet was messed up. My teacher is in Guatemala. We are both suffering through a horrible cold front with high winds that affect our internet connection. She ended up giving me another credit for our next class because we couldn't hear each other toward the end. But we did get to the point where I was finally learning something new. So now we are at a good place to start.
Yesterday was my Mom's birthday. I ordered flowers for her. (I had points on my credit card, so they were free to me, which was a bonus.) I thought she didn't have a very busy day on Wednesdays. Turned out I was mistaken. She volunteers all morning in the library and had to take a friend to run an errand in the afternoon. I almost asked if she could postpone her plans with her friend because I wanted her to be home when the flowers were delivered. In the end I decided not to ruin the surprise. I figured she'd enjoy the flowers more if she didn't know they were coming. If need be, she could get the flowers a day late. Then I prayed a lot. It's a silly thing to pray about - that your mom is home to get her birthday flowers. But I really did pray. And guess what? She did all of the things she had planned PLUS went out for a surprise birthday dinner AND she was at home to receive her flowers. God cares Mom being home to receive (free) flowers on her birthday.
I'm keeping a gratitude journal this year. I'm trying to limit each day to one topic only. Today I will be thankful for coworkers who are also friends. And who like to laugh. That's still one topic, right?
Monday, January 9, 2017
Ana's Flat Iron and Front Steps
I just had the best talk with my friend Ana. When I first got put on bedrest I was so bummed out. I talked to her on the phone and she pointed out that I should be grateful for a time of rest. Since that conversation all of the stress and frustration I initially felt is gone. I learned to appreciate this quiet time.
Ana is the most grateful person I know. She has very little, yet she is grateful for everything. Her faith is so deep that she even manages to be grateful for things yet to come!
Today she returned to the breakfast program where I used to serve, and where I met her. She has been the cook there for four years, feeding between 40-70 kids each day. She said the kids were really happy to see her. She wasn't able to serve in November or December because she had cancerous cells removed and had to take two months off per doctor's orders.
During that time, with help from her mother and her kids, she still made the snacks for Impacto Juvenil - the organization where I serve. She needs that income. Impacto Juvenil pays her a lump sum. Out of that money she has to make 75 snacks per week. In the end she only makes 5 Lempiras per snack - that comes out to $16.30 in weekly earnings to feed her family.
After the surgery for cancer the doctor said that she really needs another surgery. Her body was badly torn apart in childbirth but at the time the doctors didn't offer any follow up care. Ana said she knows she has had problems since her first child was born over 17 years ago.
The doctor who treated the cancer is from a better hospital. Soon she will get her reconstructive surgery.
While she was getting pre-surgery exams done this week she saw people around her who seemed really depressed. She gave them encouragement (like she did me when I was on bedrest) and told them, "Cheer up! I never thought I would own two packages of diapers for my daughter. But you know what! I did!!"
I've explained in this blog about how people here tend to buy what they need right now. Ana used to buy diapers for Isabela one by one from a corner store. Isa was severely allergic to cloth diapers. She had horrible red welts. Ana tried her best to keep Isa in disposable diapers. But she had never purchased a whole package of diapers before in her life. She never even dreamed of buying a package of diapers. It was all she could do to buy them one at a time.
One day, years ago, I was standing in the grocery store looking at diapers. I asked myself why in the world I was standing there in front of the diapers. I felt like I was supposed to buy some. At that time the only baby I knew in diapers was Isabela. Her mother had changed her in front of me and I had notices how red and raw she was. It realized God put me there to buy diapers for Isa.
Ana's family often goes hungry, so I asked God if He was sure I should buy diapers. Wouldn't food make more sense? It seemed odd! But God was telling me I was only supposed to worry about the diapers. So that's what I did.
To this day Ana is grateful for those diapers. She is telling strangers in the public hospital about it to encourage them to have faith. She's not talking about the days she didn't have food or clothes for her children. She is thankful for the days that she did!
In the same conversation Ana also shared her gratitude for the fact that her son will graduate this year and should be all set to study to be a pilot after graduation. She LOVES the beauty classes she receives through Impacto Juvenil. There is a special joy in her voice as she talks about what she has already learned and what she is looking forward to learning in 2017. She is already trained in manicures and pedicures. They will learn cuts, styling and makeup in 2017.
Her only concern is that her flat iron broke. Only one side heats up. She doesn't know how she will be a hair stylist in Honduras (where everyone wants "smooth" hair) without a straightening iron. She sent her straightening iron to be fixed, but the guy couldn't fix it. A new one costs two weeks salary.
The thing I am most grateful for is new front steps for Ana's house! Ana's house sits on the side of a mountain. Her front steps have been a hazard since I met her. They are tall and teetery. Twice that I am aware of (probably more), Isabela fell out of the house and landed on the ground because of those steps. Once she got a concussion. Ana has been praying and asking for help to buy cement for new steps for over six years. This year she will finally get her new steps! My coworker who is the leader of Impacto Juvenil in Los Pinos, told Ana that the steps will be the first community project of 2017. That makes me so happy!
Can you imagine sending your curling iron to be fixed? Can you imagine diapers being so far out of reach that you'd never dream of buying a whole package? Can you imagine waiting over six years and watching your kids get hurt, but not being able to build safe steps for the entry to your home? If you can't imagine these things, you're not alone. I can't either.
When I told Ana I thought six years was a long time to wait for those steps, Ana replied, "God's time is not like our time. We think in minutes or hours, days, weeks or even a year. But sometimes God's time is longer. We just have to be patient." ♥ I love my faithful friend!
I am grateful that God gave me a friend who is so appreciative, who always sees the positive in things and never dwells on the negative. Ana has so much she could rightfully complain about. Her life is tough. Yet, through it all her attitude of gratitude is an inspiration.
Ana is the most grateful person I know. She has very little, yet she is grateful for everything. Her faith is so deep that she even manages to be grateful for things yet to come!
Today she returned to the breakfast program where I used to serve, and where I met her. She has been the cook there for four years, feeding between 40-70 kids each day. She said the kids were really happy to see her. She wasn't able to serve in November or December because she had cancerous cells removed and had to take two months off per doctor's orders.
During that time, with help from her mother and her kids, she still made the snacks for Impacto Juvenil - the organization where I serve. She needs that income. Impacto Juvenil pays her a lump sum. Out of that money she has to make 75 snacks per week. In the end she only makes 5 Lempiras per snack - that comes out to $16.30 in weekly earnings to feed her family.
After the surgery for cancer the doctor said that she really needs another surgery. Her body was badly torn apart in childbirth but at the time the doctors didn't offer any follow up care. Ana said she knows she has had problems since her first child was born over 17 years ago.
The doctor who treated the cancer is from a better hospital. Soon she will get her reconstructive surgery.
While she was getting pre-surgery exams done this week she saw people around her who seemed really depressed. She gave them encouragement (like she did me when I was on bedrest) and told them, "Cheer up! I never thought I would own two packages of diapers for my daughter. But you know what! I did!!"
I've explained in this blog about how people here tend to buy what they need right now. Ana used to buy diapers for Isabela one by one from a corner store. Isa was severely allergic to cloth diapers. She had horrible red welts. Ana tried her best to keep Isa in disposable diapers. But she had never purchased a whole package of diapers before in her life. She never even dreamed of buying a package of diapers. It was all she could do to buy them one at a time.
One day, years ago, I was standing in the grocery store looking at diapers. I asked myself why in the world I was standing there in front of the diapers. I felt like I was supposed to buy some. At that time the only baby I knew in diapers was Isabela. Her mother had changed her in front of me and I had notices how red and raw she was. It realized God put me there to buy diapers for Isa.
Ana's family often goes hungry, so I asked God if He was sure I should buy diapers. Wouldn't food make more sense? It seemed odd! But God was telling me I was only supposed to worry about the diapers. So that's what I did.
To this day Ana is grateful for those diapers. She is telling strangers in the public hospital about it to encourage them to have faith. She's not talking about the days she didn't have food or clothes for her children. She is thankful for the days that she did!
In the same conversation Ana also shared her gratitude for the fact that her son will graduate this year and should be all set to study to be a pilot after graduation. She LOVES the beauty classes she receives through Impacto Juvenil. There is a special joy in her voice as she talks about what she has already learned and what she is looking forward to learning in 2017. She is already trained in manicures and pedicures. They will learn cuts, styling and makeup in 2017.
Her only concern is that her flat iron broke. Only one side heats up. She doesn't know how she will be a hair stylist in Honduras (where everyone wants "smooth" hair) without a straightening iron. She sent her straightening iron to be fixed, but the guy couldn't fix it. A new one costs two weeks salary.
The thing I am most grateful for is new front steps for Ana's house! Ana's house sits on the side of a mountain. Her front steps have been a hazard since I met her. They are tall and teetery. Twice that I am aware of (probably more), Isabela fell out of the house and landed on the ground because of those steps. Once she got a concussion. Ana has been praying and asking for help to buy cement for new steps for over six years. This year she will finally get her new steps! My coworker who is the leader of Impacto Juvenil in Los Pinos, told Ana that the steps will be the first community project of 2017. That makes me so happy!
Can you imagine sending your curling iron to be fixed? Can you imagine diapers being so far out of reach that you'd never dream of buying a whole package? Can you imagine waiting over six years and watching your kids get hurt, but not being able to build safe steps for the entry to your home? If you can't imagine these things, you're not alone. I can't either.
When I told Ana I thought six years was a long time to wait for those steps, Ana replied, "God's time is not like our time. We think in minutes or hours, days, weeks or even a year. But sometimes God's time is longer. We just have to be patient." ♥ I love my faithful friend!
I am grateful that God gave me a friend who is so appreciative, who always sees the positive in things and never dwells on the negative. Ana has so much she could rightfully complain about. Her life is tough. Yet, through it all her attitude of gratitude is an inspiration.
Cold Front
I am getting more and more in tune with the weather patterns of Honduras. Yesterday a gusty wind blew in. I thought to myself, that doesn't sound like any old wind. That sounds like a cold front. I bet it will rain soon and stick around for a few days.
I was right. It got super cold. This morning was the coldest temperature I've ever experienced down here in the city. It must be freezing in the mountains! The wind is still gusting. Fany says her family in Guatemala are getting the same weather, only it's even colder.
My boss called to see how I'm doing. She talked to me about the bicycle race that our organization puts on each year. It's called "Coast to Coast" because they race from the North Shore of Honduras all of the way to the South Shore. It was created by my coworkers to bring awareness to problems within the educational system. They stop along the way to visit schools and give talks. Now hundreds of people come from all over the world to ride in the race.
My boss's husband is participating. She said the roads have 4 foot "wells" of water from the storm that is passing through. They expect the winds to remain gusty with heavy rains throughout the week. Not ideal for eight days of cycling.
On Friday night one of my coworkers died. I am hearing conflicting numbers regarding her age, but she was only a little older than me. She had a heart attack and left behind two young kids and her husband.
In Honduras when someone dies they hold a "valorio" (wake) immediately. It's usually open casket in the person's home. In this case she died at 11 p.m. They held the wake all day Saturday. Usually they would be buried the same day, but she was buried Sunday morning.
My coworkers stayed with the family for for almost 48 hours straight. We do the same if a family member of one of the kids in our clubs dies. We have a psychologist and the leader of the club stay with the family from the moment we are informed until after the person is buried.
Saturday the cleaning lady did come to my house. In fact she stayed all day. She brought me coffee from the factory where her husband works as a roaster. I don't have a coffee pot, and I can smell the bag of coffee from the kitchen into my bedroom. It's like torture! Hahaha!! She said next week she is going to bring a little strainer thing that Honduran people use to make individual cups of coffee. You just pour boiling water through it and wa-la! One day I may get fancy and buy a coffee press - once I can get out of bed.
Speaking of getting out of bed, I noticed Saturday evening that the pain in my ankle is no longer that burning, stabbing pain. It still hurts, but not as sharply. Saturday night I slept through the night for the first time in two weeks. Hurray! Yesterday I continued to feel good. I dumped a bag of beans into the crockpot, with chicken stock and some carrots that were already diced in my fridge for salads. Then added an onion and garlic. It was only a few minutes of standing and I got to smell the soup cooking all day. Last night Fany helped me add some turkey sausage. Now I have soup for a week!
(Stopped writing to take a shower)
I just fell down for the second time in the shower. At least this time I was showering. Last time I didn't even mean to go near the shower, I just kind of tipped over and fell in. I figure if I get all of my shower falls out of my system now, I won't have to worry about breaking a hip when I'm old. The bad news is, my ankle has a new tingly feeling it didn't have before. The good news is the cast is dry.
Fany learned yesterday that her husband's cousin is dying. The cousin is the one person in the world her husband, Santos, always counted on. The family has always joked that Santos and his cousin are much more like siblings that his true siblings. She went to a public hospital last week and learned that her body is full of cancer. Fany saw her last Tuesday. Between last Tuesday and Sunday she went downhill fast. This will be the first death that Laura will experience in her family. At five, she is beginning to understand about death.
I had a great first Spanish lesson Friday. But I haven't been able to pay for more classes. They have a PayPal link but my PayPal account is all messed up because I didn't set it up right. I've called and emailed the office for Spanish classes but they still haven't gotten back to me. It's odd. When I took lessons with them five years ago they responded immediately and always answered the phone. I hope to get the lessons set up soon. If not, I may have to pay a little more and go through a different program. The funny thing is, they have the same teachers, so I'll get the same class. It just costs more money.
No need to worry about me getting out of bed today. It's too cold! I'm very content staying cuddled up in bed with a good book, listening to the wind howl outside. Jetty agrees.
I was right. It got super cold. This morning was the coldest temperature I've ever experienced down here in the city. It must be freezing in the mountains! The wind is still gusting. Fany says her family in Guatemala are getting the same weather, only it's even colder.
My boss called to see how I'm doing. She talked to me about the bicycle race that our organization puts on each year. It's called "Coast to Coast" because they race from the North Shore of Honduras all of the way to the South Shore. It was created by my coworkers to bring awareness to problems within the educational system. They stop along the way to visit schools and give talks. Now hundreds of people come from all over the world to ride in the race.
My boss's husband is participating. She said the roads have 4 foot "wells" of water from the storm that is passing through. They expect the winds to remain gusty with heavy rains throughout the week. Not ideal for eight days of cycling.
On Friday night one of my coworkers died. I am hearing conflicting numbers regarding her age, but she was only a little older than me. She had a heart attack and left behind two young kids and her husband.
In Honduras when someone dies they hold a "valorio" (wake) immediately. It's usually open casket in the person's home. In this case she died at 11 p.m. They held the wake all day Saturday. Usually they would be buried the same day, but she was buried Sunday morning.
My coworkers stayed with the family for for almost 48 hours straight. We do the same if a family member of one of the kids in our clubs dies. We have a psychologist and the leader of the club stay with the family from the moment we are informed until after the person is buried.
Saturday the cleaning lady did come to my house. In fact she stayed all day. She brought me coffee from the factory where her husband works as a roaster. I don't have a coffee pot, and I can smell the bag of coffee from the kitchen into my bedroom. It's like torture! Hahaha!! She said next week she is going to bring a little strainer thing that Honduran people use to make individual cups of coffee. You just pour boiling water through it and wa-la! One day I may get fancy and buy a coffee press - once I can get out of bed.
Speaking of getting out of bed, I noticed Saturday evening that the pain in my ankle is no longer that burning, stabbing pain. It still hurts, but not as sharply. Saturday night I slept through the night for the first time in two weeks. Hurray! Yesterday I continued to feel good. I dumped a bag of beans into the crockpot, with chicken stock and some carrots that were already diced in my fridge for salads. Then added an onion and garlic. It was only a few minutes of standing and I got to smell the soup cooking all day. Last night Fany helped me add some turkey sausage. Now I have soup for a week!
(Stopped writing to take a shower)
I just fell down for the second time in the shower. At least this time I was showering. Last time I didn't even mean to go near the shower, I just kind of tipped over and fell in. I figure if I get all of my shower falls out of my system now, I won't have to worry about breaking a hip when I'm old. The bad news is, my ankle has a new tingly feeling it didn't have before. The good news is the cast is dry.
Fany learned yesterday that her husband's cousin is dying. The cousin is the one person in the world her husband, Santos, always counted on. The family has always joked that Santos and his cousin are much more like siblings that his true siblings. She went to a public hospital last week and learned that her body is full of cancer. Fany saw her last Tuesday. Between last Tuesday and Sunday she went downhill fast. This will be the first death that Laura will experience in her family. At five, she is beginning to understand about death.
I had a great first Spanish lesson Friday. But I haven't been able to pay for more classes. They have a PayPal link but my PayPal account is all messed up because I didn't set it up right. I've called and emailed the office for Spanish classes but they still haven't gotten back to me. It's odd. When I took lessons with them five years ago they responded immediately and always answered the phone. I hope to get the lessons set up soon. If not, I may have to pay a little more and go through a different program. The funny thing is, they have the same teachers, so I'll get the same class. It just costs more money.
No need to worry about me getting out of bed today. It's too cold! I'm very content staying cuddled up in bed with a good book, listening to the wind howl outside. Jetty agrees.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Days Between
Another night with little sleep, but everything else is good. I was wide away until 4:30 a.m. when my body finally gave up and crashed. I slept hard until 7 a.m. and that was it. I don't understand why I'm not tired during the day. Maybe because I am expending so little energy. I've been good about following the rules of bedrest.
Two days ago I realized that some of my friends' comments on Facebook were really affecting my mood. I decided to take a day off FB. It went so well that I decided to take two days. And now I know that I don't want to return tomorrow either. I'm not being too rigid. I'll go back when I feel like it but I can't let other people's ignorance and hatred seep into my heart.
I started Spanish classes! The class was good. My teacher said my accent is great. She wants me to learn sentence structure. If I had more money that would be good. But I only have ten classes to improve my Spanish. I know the things I need to work on. Labeling each part of a sentence is not very useful to me. I can form sentences. I need to work on particular things that I struggle with in everyday speech.
She had me read aloud for her. When I got to the second paragraph I was completely stumped. The words made no sense at all. After I looked at them for a minute, I realized they were in English! My teacher got a big laugh out of that.
Today I got an email from a friend who has been in a similar but worse situation. She tore ligaments and broke a bone in her leg. She had a lot of good advice and made me realize I'm not crazy for not being able to sleep with the pressure of the blankets pressing down on my toes.
Fireworks continue, but they are fewer. Fany left at 4 a.m. for her in-law's house. She called twice. I am glad that things are good between us right now. We have struggled with our relationship lately.
I caught the water guy as he was passing. He said he will knock on my gate next week and give me time to go out. He comes in the afternoon, not first thing in the morning. This will be a big relief - not having to worry about chasing out the door to catch the water guy.
It's been a peaceful day. I hope the cleaning lady is able to come tomorrow.
Two days ago I realized that some of my friends' comments on Facebook were really affecting my mood. I decided to take a day off FB. It went so well that I decided to take two days. And now I know that I don't want to return tomorrow either. I'm not being too rigid. I'll go back when I feel like it but I can't let other people's ignorance and hatred seep into my heart.
I started Spanish classes! The class was good. My teacher said my accent is great. She wants me to learn sentence structure. If I had more money that would be good. But I only have ten classes to improve my Spanish. I know the things I need to work on. Labeling each part of a sentence is not very useful to me. I can form sentences. I need to work on particular things that I struggle with in everyday speech.
She had me read aloud for her. When I got to the second paragraph I was completely stumped. The words made no sense at all. After I looked at them for a minute, I realized they were in English! My teacher got a big laugh out of that.
Today I got an email from a friend who has been in a similar but worse situation. She tore ligaments and broke a bone in her leg. She had a lot of good advice and made me realize I'm not crazy for not being able to sleep with the pressure of the blankets pressing down on my toes.
Fireworks continue, but they are fewer. Fany left at 4 a.m. for her in-law's house. She called twice. I am glad that things are good between us right now. We have struggled with our relationship lately.
I caught the water guy as he was passing. He said he will knock on my gate next week and give me time to go out. He comes in the afternoon, not first thing in the morning. This will be a big relief - not having to worry about chasing out the door to catch the water guy.
It's been a peaceful day. I hope the cleaning lady is able to come tomorrow.
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Update on Bedrest, Los Pinos and the Weather
I made it through a week and a half with the cast already. It's going by pretty quickly so far!
I have a lady who comes to clean every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. She is really great at cleaning. She does all of the basics, makes me lunch, and deep cleans one area each day. The only problem is that she keeps calling off on Saturdays. It's a long wait from Thursday to Tuesday with nobody to sweep the floor, take out the garbage or buy drinking water.
My ankle still doesn't feel like it's healing. It has hurt more since I got the second cast than it did with the first cast. I don't think it's the new cast. I think it's that I jostled my foot around too much. Today I did an excellent job on my bedrest. I only let the cat out once, got a cup of juice, showered, and made normal trips to the bathroom, which is only a few steps away.
Last night I hardly slept because I was in pain. This morning I took the last of the pain medicine. I hope to sleep well tonight.
Last night in a trip to the bathroom I fell over sideways, broke off the toilet seat and cartwheeled into the shower. I remember looking out of the shower after the fall and being shocked to see my bad leg had hardly moved. Phew! Falling headfirst into the shower with a cast on my leg was scary.
Fany continues to be extremely helpful when she is home. However, she spends a lot of time outside of the city lately. Molly came over yesterday with two rolls of sushi. Her kids wanted to see me one more time before they started school again today. They all played board games and cards with Laura. We spoke in English. Laura is speaking more English now. By the end of next year she should be able to carry on a conversation if I keep practicing with her. She's not scared to speak. For many Hondurans, that is the hardest part about learning English. They can read and write but they are scared to speak.
The weather has been nice lately. I'm lucky it never gets hot inside my house. Lately everyone who visits complains about the heat outdoors. Kids don't want to play outside. They say the sun is too strong. Our humongous mango tree shades my house well. At 3 pm every day clouds roll in, the wind picks up and the temperature plummets. We work hard to get the laundry done early in the day so it's dry before three. Once the sun goes down at 5 pm it's cold - like flannel sheets and heavy pajamas weather. The cold is rough on Jetty's asthma. In the morning it's so cold I don't want to get out of bed or shower until the sun has some time to heat things up again. If rain comes, it's at night. But the rain is not regular anymore, like it was for so many months.
Ana said they gangs came after her friend a couple of days ago. They tied her up and held her hostage. Later they kicked her out of her house. Ana helped her find a safe place to live. Sounds like the turf wars we talked about on Christmas Day have begun.
I have a lady who comes to clean every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. She is really great at cleaning. She does all of the basics, makes me lunch, and deep cleans one area each day. The only problem is that she keeps calling off on Saturdays. It's a long wait from Thursday to Tuesday with nobody to sweep the floor, take out the garbage or buy drinking water.
My ankle still doesn't feel like it's healing. It has hurt more since I got the second cast than it did with the first cast. I don't think it's the new cast. I think it's that I jostled my foot around too much. Today I did an excellent job on my bedrest. I only let the cat out once, got a cup of juice, showered, and made normal trips to the bathroom, which is only a few steps away.
Last night I hardly slept because I was in pain. This morning I took the last of the pain medicine. I hope to sleep well tonight.
Last night in a trip to the bathroom I fell over sideways, broke off the toilet seat and cartwheeled into the shower. I remember looking out of the shower after the fall and being shocked to see my bad leg had hardly moved. Phew! Falling headfirst into the shower with a cast on my leg was scary.
Fany continues to be extremely helpful when she is home. However, she spends a lot of time outside of the city lately. Molly came over yesterday with two rolls of sushi. Her kids wanted to see me one more time before they started school again today. They all played board games and cards with Laura. We spoke in English. Laura is speaking more English now. By the end of next year she should be able to carry on a conversation if I keep practicing with her. She's not scared to speak. For many Hondurans, that is the hardest part about learning English. They can read and write but they are scared to speak.
The weather has been nice lately. I'm lucky it never gets hot inside my house. Lately everyone who visits complains about the heat outdoors. Kids don't want to play outside. They say the sun is too strong. Our humongous mango tree shades my house well. At 3 pm every day clouds roll in, the wind picks up and the temperature plummets. We work hard to get the laundry done early in the day so it's dry before three. Once the sun goes down at 5 pm it's cold - like flannel sheets and heavy pajamas weather. The cold is rough on Jetty's asthma. In the morning it's so cold I don't want to get out of bed or shower until the sun has some time to heat things up again. If rain comes, it's at night. But the rain is not regular anymore, like it was for so many months.
Ana said they gangs came after her friend a couple of days ago. They tied her up and held her hostage. Later they kicked her out of her house. Ana helped her find a safe place to live. Sounds like the turf wars we talked about on Christmas Day have begun.
Monday, January 2, 2017
Singing John Denver Songs with my Doctor
Remember when I said that we were getting very little vacation time? Hah! Little did I know! All of my coworkers went back to work today. But I'm stuck in bed.
On December 26th I was taking out the garbage when I twisted my ankle and tore a ligament in my left ankle. At first I thought I was okay. I finished taking out the garbage and I could walk on it, but it hurt a lot. I iced it and rested. Two hours later my ankle bone literally looked like an egg. My Mom suggested I go to the doctor just to get it wrapped up.
When I went to the doctor's office they took me straight into the emergency room. The doctor there had me wiggle my toes. Then he pressed on my ankle and I surprised even myself with a scream. He stopped the exam and looked up at me. He said I would need a cast and an orthopedic specialist. He told me to call a family member because I should be accompanied. Then he sent me off for xrays while they contacted the orthopedist on call.
I contemplated calling someone, but I really didn't want to make someone come and sit in the doctor's office with me. Also, not many of my friends have cars, so it would be a big hassle for most of them. Knowing that the doctor thought I should be accompanied by a family member made me feel very alone and a little sorry for myself.
Xrays showed no broken bones. The orthopedist came quickly. He asked what happened. When I told him I heard and felt a loud POP as I fell he nodded knowingly. His examination was simple. He pressed on the bones down by my toes, then took one finger and placed it on a spot on my ankle. I held back the scream this time, but my heart started pounding out of my chest and I was breathing like I just ran 10 miles. He looked at my face, saw the pain, and rolled his chair back over to the computer.
When he finished typing he rolled back to my examining table. He said I needed a cast and would be on bedrest for a month. He showed me how he wanted me to walk with the crutches - supporting my weight on the crutches, but moving the foot as if it were walking to avoid muscular dystrophy.
I asked how many minutes per day I should be walking like that. He seemed surprised and gave me a look that said, "Clearly you are not hearing me," so I paid closer attention. He said I need to be lying in bed, or on a sofa, with the leg elevated, for a month. I should only stand up to go to the bathroom and back to the sofa, or to bed. Complete bedrest for a month. He asked if I needed a doctor's note for work.
I had been calm through the exams and the xrays. I could live with a cast for a month. But then it hit me: No work!?!!!! My eyes filled with tears and I went through the first three stages of grief right there on the examining table - denial, anger and bartering. (Depression hit when I got home and lasted three days. Acceptance finally set in on Friday.)
After telling me several times in several ways that no, I could not work, he started the process of putting on the cast. I really don't remember that part well. I was too upset.
Trying to change the subject, he asked where I am from. I never know how to answer that question. I told him my family live in Colorado. He said, "They have good runs there. Have you been to Aspen?" (in Spanish). Runs? How funny, I thought. Then he started talking about people who have been killed by skiing into trees. In the end we were singing John Denver songs.
My tears stopped. I was in one of those situations that happens every so often here, where the whole thing is so bizarre it seems unreal. Singing John Denver with my doctor as he casts my foot. He didn't even ask me what color I wanted for the cast, I think he feared if he brought me back to reality I would cry again.
We went back and forth with John Denver songs, "Do you know this one? Take me home, country roads...," we would both sing together. He knew a few I didn't, which was surprising because I loved John Denver since I was a tiny. By the time he started singing "Thank God I'm a country boy,"in a Spanish accent the cast was on.
He told me I'd need to buy crutches and a boot to protect the cast. He warned me if it got wet or damaged in any way my insurance would not pay for a new one. He prescribed some pain killers and had the nurse wheel me out in a wheelchair to pay. I hated being in that wheelchair.
I called my taxi friend. He said he was with another fare, but could pick me up in an hour. All of the stores would be closed and I needed crutches, so I called my Pastora. She happened to be leaving the church a few blocks away, so she and her family came to get me. I think they were surprised to see me wheeled out in a wheelchair with a huge cast on my leg. We got the crutches and boot thing. Then they dropped me off at home.
I was depressed. I thought of all of the things I had planned to do. I had started looking for a newer car. I had bills to pay. The floor needed to be swept and mopped. I was almost out of drinking water and cat food. What would I do for a MONTH? I am used to being so independent. I do not like being physically dependent on others.
I talked to a missionary friend who knew a housekeeper. In Honduras most people who are middle class or above have housekeepers. It costs less than $10 per day, so I guess they figure, why not? But things tend to disappear or get broken.
When I lived up in the mountains years ago my neighbors asked me to hire their housekeeper. They couldn't pay her for two months and she needed work. She worked for them for seven years. They told me she was trustworthy. After she stole all of my best jewelry, my phone, my computer and even my glasses they said she had actually stolen from them before. Strangely enough, as far as I know she still works for them to this day.
As you can imagine, I was not thrilled with the idea of a housekeeper. But I also realized Fany couldn't do it all. And she shouldn't have to. She was helping out a lot, but she couldn't keep going at that pace for a month.
The housekeeper came on Thursday. My house was cleaner than ever before! She also seemed very nice. She was supposed to come again on Saturday but she called me to say that she couldn't make it. Fany also left on Saturday, so I'm alone until Tuesday when the housekeeper is supposed to come again.
In the meantime I managed to get my cast soaking wet. Just as the doctor warned, I had to pay full price for a new cast. He gave me a break, but it still cost $300. That was a bummer because my Mom and a friend gave me money totaling $300. I wanted to use it for the housekeeper and Spanish classes. I figured if I worked on my Spanish then this month of bedrest would be a somewhat productive. It was my boss's suggestion. But before I could use the money for classes, I needed it for the cast.
I expected my foot to look better by Saturday. But when I the doctor took off the wet cast and put on the new one my ankle was still extremely swollen and very colorful. This time the doctor did let me choose the color of my cast. He didn't sing John Denver songs with me, but he did offer me his personal phone number. He said I can call him for anything I need or desire. I ran that by a couple of friends to see if they thought it seemed like a strange thing to say. They agreed it was gross and inappropriate.
I spent New Year's Eve lying in my bed while the world exploded around me. Fireworks are big here. But they are not fireworks like in the US with pretty colors. Most fireworks here are just loud explosions that make the house tremble and car alarms go off mixed with a few colorful ones. It sounded like a war zone all night long until about 6 am. Today, the 2nd, it is finally strangely silent.
Sunday I was in a lot of pain. I think it's from moving around to go to the doctor's office on Saturday. It was more pain than I even suffered with the initial injury. Today it's a little better than yesterday. I'm hoping if I lie still I'll feel better soon.
In the midst of this it really hit me how many amazing friends I have. I have true friends who I can really count on, and lots of them. Last night a friend was pounding at my gate with cupcakes. I couldn't go answer, but she was there! Yesterday afternoon another friend came over with her second delivery of a week's worth of food. Thanks to her I'm eating healthy and not lying here feeling like a fat pig. Fany cleaned my house last week on Tuesday and has been bringing over random meals for me too. She purposely stayed in town longer to help me out last week when she could have been with her husband and his family. If she's not here, she calls and sends me sweet messages. People from my church keep calling, asking how they can help and when they can stop by. Friends from work send messages. Ana and her kids want to come over.
It was Ana who finally helped me find peace about this bedrest. I was freaking out about gaining weight from being so sedentary. I was worried about keeping the house clean, feeding myself, and getting bills paid. I was concerned I would waste a whole month of my life! And who is going to let the cat in and out? (Turns out she seems content to lie in bed with me and barely wants to move.)
Ana reminded me that many people would LOVE to have a month to rest. She is right. After that I went from being stressed to seeing this as a luxury. I may never be able to do this again. I need to make the most of it! As I told the doctor, I can lie in bed annoyed and frustrated, or I can lie in bed and be peaceful. I am now choosing peace. I have a lot of books to read. I've made a rule - no tv before 7 p.m. That is surprisingly easy to follow.
So, that is why you haven't heard from me for a while. I have another doctor's appointment on January 16th. I'll get the cast off and the doctor will tell me if I need a new one or if I am healing well.
Here are photos from Saturday:
The skin on the bottom of my foot was already peeling off from the cast being wet.
On December 26th I was taking out the garbage when I twisted my ankle and tore a ligament in my left ankle. At first I thought I was okay. I finished taking out the garbage and I could walk on it, but it hurt a lot. I iced it and rested. Two hours later my ankle bone literally looked like an egg. My Mom suggested I go to the doctor just to get it wrapped up.
When I went to the doctor's office they took me straight into the emergency room. The doctor there had me wiggle my toes. Then he pressed on my ankle and I surprised even myself with a scream. He stopped the exam and looked up at me. He said I would need a cast and an orthopedic specialist. He told me to call a family member because I should be accompanied. Then he sent me off for xrays while they contacted the orthopedist on call.
I contemplated calling someone, but I really didn't want to make someone come and sit in the doctor's office with me. Also, not many of my friends have cars, so it would be a big hassle for most of them. Knowing that the doctor thought I should be accompanied by a family member made me feel very alone and a little sorry for myself.
Xrays showed no broken bones. The orthopedist came quickly. He asked what happened. When I told him I heard and felt a loud POP as I fell he nodded knowingly. His examination was simple. He pressed on the bones down by my toes, then took one finger and placed it on a spot on my ankle. I held back the scream this time, but my heart started pounding out of my chest and I was breathing like I just ran 10 miles. He looked at my face, saw the pain, and rolled his chair back over to the computer.
When he finished typing he rolled back to my examining table. He said I needed a cast and would be on bedrest for a month. He showed me how he wanted me to walk with the crutches - supporting my weight on the crutches, but moving the foot as if it were walking to avoid muscular dystrophy.
I asked how many minutes per day I should be walking like that. He seemed surprised and gave me a look that said, "Clearly you are not hearing me," so I paid closer attention. He said I need to be lying in bed, or on a sofa, with the leg elevated, for a month. I should only stand up to go to the bathroom and back to the sofa, or to bed. Complete bedrest for a month. He asked if I needed a doctor's note for work.
I had been calm through the exams and the xrays. I could live with a cast for a month. But then it hit me: No work!?!!!! My eyes filled with tears and I went through the first three stages of grief right there on the examining table - denial, anger and bartering. (Depression hit when I got home and lasted three days. Acceptance finally set in on Friday.)
After telling me several times in several ways that no, I could not work, he started the process of putting on the cast. I really don't remember that part well. I was too upset.
Trying to change the subject, he asked where I am from. I never know how to answer that question. I told him my family live in Colorado. He said, "They have good runs there. Have you been to Aspen?" (in Spanish). Runs? How funny, I thought. Then he started talking about people who have been killed by skiing into trees. In the end we were singing John Denver songs.
My tears stopped. I was in one of those situations that happens every so often here, where the whole thing is so bizarre it seems unreal. Singing John Denver with my doctor as he casts my foot. He didn't even ask me what color I wanted for the cast, I think he feared if he brought me back to reality I would cry again.
We went back and forth with John Denver songs, "Do you know this one? Take me home, country roads...," we would both sing together. He knew a few I didn't, which was surprising because I loved John Denver since I was a tiny. By the time he started singing "Thank God I'm a country boy,"in a Spanish accent the cast was on.
He told me I'd need to buy crutches and a boot to protect the cast. He warned me if it got wet or damaged in any way my insurance would not pay for a new one. He prescribed some pain killers and had the nurse wheel me out in a wheelchair to pay. I hated being in that wheelchair.
I called my taxi friend. He said he was with another fare, but could pick me up in an hour. All of the stores would be closed and I needed crutches, so I called my Pastora. She happened to be leaving the church a few blocks away, so she and her family came to get me. I think they were surprised to see me wheeled out in a wheelchair with a huge cast on my leg. We got the crutches and boot thing. Then they dropped me off at home.
I was depressed. I thought of all of the things I had planned to do. I had started looking for a newer car. I had bills to pay. The floor needed to be swept and mopped. I was almost out of drinking water and cat food. What would I do for a MONTH? I am used to being so independent. I do not like being physically dependent on others.
I talked to a missionary friend who knew a housekeeper. In Honduras most people who are middle class or above have housekeepers. It costs less than $10 per day, so I guess they figure, why not? But things tend to disappear or get broken.
When I lived up in the mountains years ago my neighbors asked me to hire their housekeeper. They couldn't pay her for two months and she needed work. She worked for them for seven years. They told me she was trustworthy. After she stole all of my best jewelry, my phone, my computer and even my glasses they said she had actually stolen from them before. Strangely enough, as far as I know she still works for them to this day.
As you can imagine, I was not thrilled with the idea of a housekeeper. But I also realized Fany couldn't do it all. And she shouldn't have to. She was helping out a lot, but she couldn't keep going at that pace for a month.
The housekeeper came on Thursday. My house was cleaner than ever before! She also seemed very nice. She was supposed to come again on Saturday but she called me to say that she couldn't make it. Fany also left on Saturday, so I'm alone until Tuesday when the housekeeper is supposed to come again.
In the meantime I managed to get my cast soaking wet. Just as the doctor warned, I had to pay full price for a new cast. He gave me a break, but it still cost $300. That was a bummer because my Mom and a friend gave me money totaling $300. I wanted to use it for the housekeeper and Spanish classes. I figured if I worked on my Spanish then this month of bedrest would be a somewhat productive. It was my boss's suggestion. But before I could use the money for classes, I needed it for the cast.
I expected my foot to look better by Saturday. But when I the doctor took off the wet cast and put on the new one my ankle was still extremely swollen and very colorful. This time the doctor did let me choose the color of my cast. He didn't sing John Denver songs with me, but he did offer me his personal phone number. He said I can call him for anything I need or desire. I ran that by a couple of friends to see if they thought it seemed like a strange thing to say. They agreed it was gross and inappropriate.
I spent New Year's Eve lying in my bed while the world exploded around me. Fireworks are big here. But they are not fireworks like in the US with pretty colors. Most fireworks here are just loud explosions that make the house tremble and car alarms go off mixed with a few colorful ones. It sounded like a war zone all night long until about 6 am. Today, the 2nd, it is finally strangely silent.
Sunday I was in a lot of pain. I think it's from moving around to go to the doctor's office on Saturday. It was more pain than I even suffered with the initial injury. Today it's a little better than yesterday. I'm hoping if I lie still I'll feel better soon.
In the midst of this it really hit me how many amazing friends I have. I have true friends who I can really count on, and lots of them. Last night a friend was pounding at my gate with cupcakes. I couldn't go answer, but she was there! Yesterday afternoon another friend came over with her second delivery of a week's worth of food. Thanks to her I'm eating healthy and not lying here feeling like a fat pig. Fany cleaned my house last week on Tuesday and has been bringing over random meals for me too. She purposely stayed in town longer to help me out last week when she could have been with her husband and his family. If she's not here, she calls and sends me sweet messages. People from my church keep calling, asking how they can help and when they can stop by. Friends from work send messages. Ana and her kids want to come over.
It was Ana who finally helped me find peace about this bedrest. I was freaking out about gaining weight from being so sedentary. I was worried about keeping the house clean, feeding myself, and getting bills paid. I was concerned I would waste a whole month of my life! And who is going to let the cat in and out? (Turns out she seems content to lie in bed with me and barely wants to move.)
Ana reminded me that many people would LOVE to have a month to rest. She is right. After that I went from being stressed to seeing this as a luxury. I may never be able to do this again. I need to make the most of it! As I told the doctor, I can lie in bed annoyed and frustrated, or I can lie in bed and be peaceful. I am now choosing peace. I have a lot of books to read. I've made a rule - no tv before 7 p.m. That is surprisingly easy to follow.
So, that is why you haven't heard from me for a while. I have another doctor's appointment on January 16th. I'll get the cast off and the doctor will tell me if I need a new one or if I am healing well.
Here are photos from Saturday:
 |
| I was surprised it was still so swollen. My ankle bone barely protruded at all. |
The skin on the bottom of my foot was already peeling off from the cast being wet.
Sunday, December 25, 2016
Merry Christmas from Honduras
I just got home from celebrating Christmas in Honduras. Normally I make a genuine effort to do things Honduran style. I believe that old saying "While in Honduras...". This year I learned that Christmas is a little bit different from most ordinary days. This year for Christmas I mixed both US and Honduran traditions. It was good.
I have one missionary friend (yes ONE) who, in my opinion, has really done her best to delve into Honduran culture, talk with the people and learn their customs. I am surprised by the number of people who live here, but don't spend time with Honduran people. Some never even learn the language or customs or food. That is odd to me. I don't understand why someone would move to another country and not want to learn the ways of the people there.
God blessed me when He presented me the opportunity to know a missionary who lives in and among the people of Tegucigalpa, and specifically Los Pinos. She focuses more on the Southern side of Los Pinos. The sectors where she serves are much more dangerous and difficult to maneuver than those where my loved ones live. I worked with her about two years ago. Serving together wasn't ideal for us. But we have now developed a strong friendship.
Three years ago I spent Christmas in Honduras. A family I loved invited me to spend the holiday with them. In reality, I spent that Christmas alone. I tried my best to be positive. I was successful in portraying a positive image. Everyone in the US believed I had a great time. In reality that was a difficult Christmas for me.
This year I had no choice but to stay in Honduras. All of my money is going toward a car. There was no money for travel.
I expected to feel lonely and homesick, but my experience was actually the opposite. I was invited to spend Christmas Eve with ten different groups of people! TEN!! That is a lot when you consider that I was alone only three years ago. I am blessed.
To my own surprise I chose to spend Christmas Eve (which is the equivalent of Honduran Christmas because Hondurans celebrate on North America's Christmas Eve) with my North American friend. Usually I avoid other North Americans. She does too. But this year we got to share all of our North American traditions with the kids she adopted from Los Pinos. It was fun and everything I wanted in a Honduran Christmas.
I could have celebrated with my boss. But she was in the heart of downtown Tegucigalpa where I don't even drive during the day, never mind in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. Things can get pretty rowdy here on Christmas Eve.
I also could have celebrated with coworkers or members of my church. I could have gone into the country with Fany. I was even invited to celebrate with the women who sells me avocados and papayas. I had a lot of options. In the end, I choose North American style.
We watched Christmas movies in Spanish and listened to Christmas music in English. We ate seafood lasagna on Christmas Eve. Then we watched from her balcony as the world exploded before us while the whole city below set of fireworks. Her two kids woke up early this morning to open presents, just like the kids in North America. I loved every minute!
Their Biological Mother called. She promised to visit in a few weeks. She won't show up. My heart broke when they prayed over Christmas dinner that their mother's trip to visit them will be "safe and healthy". Unfortunately, their mother's visits will never be healthy for them. But they have to learn that on their own.
A boy we have both known for years came to visit this afternoon. He hasn't spent the night in Los Pinos since a person was killed outside his doorstep the last time he slept there. Last night he celebrated Christmas there with his family, but he was quick to get out today. We talked about the fireworks and the loud music all night. We didn't mention the ugly stuff. I told him that December was strangely calm this year. He is sure things are about to blow up in Los Pinos. One gang is about to get kicked out by the other gang. It's going to be an ugly fight for territory. The gang being kicked out has kicked out 15 families and rooted themselves deeply inside one of the homes where my friend serves. The unexpected peace of December will be followed by a January full of violence, we expect. It is a cyclical pattern.
Now I am back at home. It was nice to celebrate Christmas in Honduras. My coworkers and friends sent sweet messages at midnight. Today I received a video chat from my family in Colorado. I felt the presence of each of the cultures I love, mixed into one. I had a wonderful Christmas. I hope you did too!
I have one missionary friend (yes ONE) who, in my opinion, has really done her best to delve into Honduran culture, talk with the people and learn their customs. I am surprised by the number of people who live here, but don't spend time with Honduran people. Some never even learn the language or customs or food. That is odd to me. I don't understand why someone would move to another country and not want to learn the ways of the people there.
God blessed me when He presented me the opportunity to know a missionary who lives in and among the people of Tegucigalpa, and specifically Los Pinos. She focuses more on the Southern side of Los Pinos. The sectors where she serves are much more dangerous and difficult to maneuver than those where my loved ones live. I worked with her about two years ago. Serving together wasn't ideal for us. But we have now developed a strong friendship.
Three years ago I spent Christmas in Honduras. A family I loved invited me to spend the holiday with them. In reality, I spent that Christmas alone. I tried my best to be positive. I was successful in portraying a positive image. Everyone in the US believed I had a great time. In reality that was a difficult Christmas for me.
This year I had no choice but to stay in Honduras. All of my money is going toward a car. There was no money for travel.
I expected to feel lonely and homesick, but my experience was actually the opposite. I was invited to spend Christmas Eve with ten different groups of people! TEN!! That is a lot when you consider that I was alone only three years ago. I am blessed.
To my own surprise I chose to spend Christmas Eve (which is the equivalent of Honduran Christmas because Hondurans celebrate on North America's Christmas Eve) with my North American friend. Usually I avoid other North Americans. She does too. But this year we got to share all of our North American traditions with the kids she adopted from Los Pinos. It was fun and everything I wanted in a Honduran Christmas.
I could have celebrated with my boss. But she was in the heart of downtown Tegucigalpa where I don't even drive during the day, never mind in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. Things can get pretty rowdy here on Christmas Eve.
I also could have celebrated with coworkers or members of my church. I could have gone into the country with Fany. I was even invited to celebrate with the women who sells me avocados and papayas. I had a lot of options. In the end, I choose North American style.
We watched Christmas movies in Spanish and listened to Christmas music in English. We ate seafood lasagna on Christmas Eve. Then we watched from her balcony as the world exploded before us while the whole city below set of fireworks. Her two kids woke up early this morning to open presents, just like the kids in North America. I loved every minute!
Their Biological Mother called. She promised to visit in a few weeks. She won't show up. My heart broke when they prayed over Christmas dinner that their mother's trip to visit them will be "safe and healthy". Unfortunately, their mother's visits will never be healthy for them. But they have to learn that on their own.
A boy we have both known for years came to visit this afternoon. He hasn't spent the night in Los Pinos since a person was killed outside his doorstep the last time he slept there. Last night he celebrated Christmas there with his family, but he was quick to get out today. We talked about the fireworks and the loud music all night. We didn't mention the ugly stuff. I told him that December was strangely calm this year. He is sure things are about to blow up in Los Pinos. One gang is about to get kicked out by the other gang. It's going to be an ugly fight for territory. The gang being kicked out has kicked out 15 families and rooted themselves deeply inside one of the homes where my friend serves. The unexpected peace of December will be followed by a January full of violence, we expect. It is a cyclical pattern.
Now I am back at home. It was nice to celebrate Christmas in Honduras. My coworkers and friends sent sweet messages at midnight. Today I received a video chat from my family in Colorado. I felt the presence of each of the cultures I love, mixed into one. I had a wonderful Christmas. I hope you did too!
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Christmas Blessings
Today was extremely special for 10 families in each of the communities we serve and for me as well. Last week my boss decided to hand out baskets of food. She told the leader of each community where we serve to select 10 families. Some of my supporters jumped in and contributed with donations for the children of my community. I had a wonderful time seeking God's will for the donations and watching God respond. He is so awesome!
Last week my coworker and I went to the mall. After praying hard about how we should bless the families, God led us straight to the best deals for the items we needed to purchase. We got sweaters, necklaces and earring for the Honduran tradition of dressing up on Christmas Eve and yummy smelling lotions for the ladies. For the boys we got sweaters (it's really here right now!) and baseball hats. Everyone got lotion, a chocolate marshmallow santa, and socks and a candy cane. They also got a hand embroidered cloth to keep their tortillas warm.
On Tuesday I went to a little town outside of Tegucigalpa. I found crosses for each of the families as well as another decoration for their homes. The second thing had everything Honduras is known for - pottery, red beans, coffee. Each one was hand painted and unique. I felt strange when I ended up with two wall decorations, but people LOVED it!!!! I think they loved that silly thing more than their food! They were proud that a donor chose something made in Honduras. That was the only gift I was kind of hesitant about, but God certainly knew what he was doing with that one!
I went to my office today at 8:40. There was a family already there, waiting outside in the rain. We all piled into my car to get out of the rain and wait for the key to arrive. I noticed the lady hasn't been in a car before. She didn't know how to open and close the car door with the door handle. She was wearing a jacket way too big for her, with a safety pin to close it in the front.
I explained to them that the gifts in my car were not gifts from me, that I was only transporting gifts from donors. I don't want people to start thinking that I am there to give them material things.
The little boy would not allow me to carry any of the bags. He carried everything upstairs when my coworker arrived with the keys. What a sweetie! I told him I admired his willingness to help. We are trying hard to encourage that sort of behavior.
When we got upstairs he helped me set out all of the crosses and the other wall ornament. I thought it would be nice to let each family choose their own since each one was a little different. They loved choosing their own style and explaining to me why they chose the gift they chose. And they couldn't believe that they could choose TWO things for their home. That was very luxurious to them, to get more than one. So I guess it wasn't a crazy idea to get two wall ornaments after all. The crosses were all different. Some had clay designs glued onto them. Some were painted with houses or flowers or butterflies in bright colors. The lady who sold them to me burned "Feliz Navidad 2016" into the wood on the back. It was a special surprise when they noticed those words.
One girl who has extremely low self esteem became the expert advisor over which ornament they should choose for their family. She told them which was the "coolest". She wasn't pushy about it, but the families did take her advice, which I hope may help her build self esteem.
We had one family show up uninvited. Oh boy. This lady does stuff like this all of the time I'm told. We called our boss who decided to go back and get an extra bucket of food for the lady. Somehow the crosses and the other ornament multiplied. In the end everyone got a cross and a decoration, plus there were three left over - one for each of my coworkers and one for me. I honestly have no idea how that happened. Everyone in the room helped one another pick out their two ornaments per family and I really thought everyone got one of each.
We were all squished in a tiny room, drinking coffee and waiting for my boss to come with the baskets of food. Baskets of food are a tradition here. But my boss showed up with buckets with a handle and a lid! Those things were a big hit. They weighed a ton and were filled with the basic staples of a Honduran kitchen - spaghetti, tomato paste, beans, rice, lard, margarine, cubes of consume and I'm not sure what else. There was also a huge bow, but we didn't attach the bow because we thought it would be more discreet for people to walk down the street with a bucket of food. Robberies are more common in December so it is wiser not to attract attention to the gift.
Everyone posed for photos with their buckets, then they all left. The last ones to get their buckets were the families we chose for the special gifts. We had explained to the entire group that there were additional gifts. We said that we love each of them, but that this time two families would receive a little more. We told everyone that it was because of good grades and the way these families are fighting to get ahead despite the fact that the fathers of the families have recently passed away. I think my coworker did a good job of trying not to let anyone feel left out. One of the girls cried as she heard my coworker speak. She is the one with really low self esteem. Her father died suddenly of a heart attack about five months ago.
She was the first one to get a gift. At first she didn't want to open it, but when she realized that everyone in her family was getting a gift too she was suddenly eager to see what was in the package. I took a photo with her and her new sweater. She said, "Let me see how ugly the photo turned out." I assured her the photo was beautiful, and so is she.
Her sister was shocked to get a gift! The two girls had brought a huge basket of tamales to sell. They are hard workers! They really embody the principles that we want to promote.
We bought tamales for all while we waited for my boss to arrive with the buckets of food. Their mom couldn't come because they have no security for their house. No fence, no lock and their door is not strong. Someone has to stay home and guard the house at all times. So, we didn't get to see their mom open her gift. But I know she will love it. She was the inspiration for the sweater idea because she was in a tank top in the cold the last time we saw her.
My favorite moment of the whole day was when the grandmother of the three boys pulled her sweater out of the bag. She was wearing a tee shirt and a long, maroon skirt. The skirt and the sweater matched perfectly and she exclaimed. "Look! It's amazing how God knows JUST what we need!" That was my prayer with every single gift I bought, whether it was something that was useful, like the sweater and socks, or something like the decorations. I prayed they would see God's love for them in the gifts.
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| "God know exactly what we need" |
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| Grandma with two of her three Grandchildren |
She also really loved the hand embroidered cloth to keep tortillas warm. But her favorite thing, I think was the Honduran ornament. While she waited for my boss to come, before she received the other gifts, she sat there with her ornament, touching it and gazing at it with the hugest smile. Then she would put it away in her purse. And a minute later she would pull it out again and just stare at the details of it. She was thrilled with that thing. Actually, she seemed grateful for every gift her family received. As she was leaving she thanked everyone profusely. I think she hugged me three times. I told her that we know it is really hard work to raise three grandchildren and be active in the community. I told her we really admire all she is doing. I hope she felt God's love and his presence with her this morning. I believe she did!
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| Grandma with her ornaments |
Her grandsons were super grateful too. The oldest was at home, watching over the house. But the youngest two helped her carry everything back to their house. They live in a really dangerous part of their neighborhood. They seemed to especially like the baseball hats, which was my coworker's idea.
I don't really have any personal ties to any of the people in this community yet. I've only been serving there for about a month. But my heart was full as I saw them all, and specifically that grandmother, be blessed.
We focused on quality over quantity. We really prayed about this whole process and put it into God's hands. I believe that this is exactly what He called us to do today. This whole process has been a huge blessing to me. It was a day I will probably never forget. It made being far from my family at Christmas much more worthwhile.
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| This grandmother cares for her three grandchildren since their two fathers and mothers were killed |
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| Grandpa cares for his grandchildren |
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| Sisters |
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| This lady thanked us for the gifts. She said thank you for thinking of her. She said nobody else helps her family at all, The only support she can count on is through Impacto Juvenil. |
Thursday, December 15, 2016
When God does the work
Things always turn out better when you let God take control. I know this and I really do my best to live it. But too often my own humanity overcomes me and I turn to logic, rather than God.
Two days ago my Mom contacted me to say that she received a donation in the mail from a friend who visited Honduras with me on my first mission trip. The person wanted to bless the children I serve.
I was concerned because this is our last week of work. I didn't know how I would have time to purchase gifts and take them to the families. But God took care of that problem yesterday when my boss decided to buy baskets of food and toys for the 10 most needy families of each community. That means we have to work during our vacation. But it also means that the families will come to pick up their gifts from my boss, so they can pick up the gift from my friend as well!
I talked to my coworker because she knows the families best. We decided to pick two single mothers, one family of 10, and a Grandmother who is raising three of her grandchildren because their parents were killed.
It totally made sense logically. We talked and talked about it. But for some reason it didn't feel right.
This morning we did home visits in the community we serve. One of the families we visited was the family of 10. I left that house with a yucky feeling in my stomach. Of course, I really want to bless a huge family at Christmas! But it just felt wrong.
I talked about it with my coworker, trying to word things carefully because I was worried I would offend her. Finally she told me to say what was on my mind. I told her I can see the necessity, but I really didn't think our gift would bless that family. In fact, I thought giving them an extra Christmas gift could actually be harmful.
My coworker and I have discussed the idea of empowering people instead of enabling them. We want to help people think of solutions to their problems, rather than expecting others to solve problems for them. We want to help people learn they are capable if they apply themselves. If you are a regular reader, you have heard all of this before.
While visiting the tiny house of ten people, the family showed repeatedly that they are not willing to apply themselves. The kids are young, but dropped out of school years ago. They are not willing to work or further their education. We have to plead with them just to come to our club (where they play and get a good meal). They complain when they mistakenly believe that others were invited to a Christmas party, but they weren't included. They have come to expect handouts, but are not willing to do anything for themselves.
I certainly don't want to punish them. If I had a ton of money, I'd love to bless them. But I don't. I have one generous gift which I must use wisely.
As I explained all of this to my coworker she said, "Mary Lynn, everyone is like this. All of the families expect a handout and none of them are grateful." She wasn't being mean or negative. She was being honest.
I felt discouraged. How could that be possible? I asked her to pray with me about the situation because I did not feel God's peace about our current plan. She agreed to pray.
We continued on our way. It was a rainy day. The already slippery trails were treacherous. We had one last house to visit. I almost fell and my coworker decided we should turn around. She knows someone else who fell in that same place. The only thing you can grab onto is a barbed wire fence. The other person got hurt pretty badly there. We had turned around to leave and were walking back up the mountain when a boy from our club yelled up to us. He climbed up and took us around to a different trail which led directly to the house we needed to visit. It was perfect!
That was where we encountered the family that my coworker thought doesn't exist. They are a family who never asks for help. Maybe that's why they slipped off our radar.
At the very bottom of a valley live a widow and her two daughters. The youngest daughter is in our club. Her father died of a heart attack six months ago. Since then her grades dropped significantly and, for the first time, she failed two classes. I posted about the mothers who were going crazy, trying to get their kids enrolled in "summer school" two weeks ago.
(Sidenote/Update: I keep meaning to tell you that the girl whose father said he would not pay for any more education for his daughter is currently in school. Her mother lied about the costs of the classes and tried to manipulate to get three times more money than she needed. We ended up giving a portion of the cost of enrollment, thinking it would be healthy for them to have to pay a portion too. Looking back, we wish we had given less, or nothing. We believe this family could have come up with the money on their own and been empowered when they saw that they are capable of getting through tough situations as a family, without our help. By giving them part of the money, we denied them the opportunity for self empowerment. However, at the time we believed it was the right thing to do.)
The girl whose father died has to attend summer school. We asked how her mother paid for the classes. She said she made extra tortillas and more tamales to sell. A neighbor gave her the uniform shirt, she bought the pants herself and she still owes the school $2.50 which she will pay next week.
Then she offered us tortillas she was making and cheese (a luxury I have never received in any home visit before) which her neighbor gave her. Those two tortillas and cheese were some of the most tasty food I have ever eaten because I know how valuable they were to her. Plus they were truly delicious. She apologized for not having any water to drink. I felt guilty eating her cheese, but I hope I voiced my gratitude sufficiently for her to know that I thoroughly enjoyed every bite.
The first time I ever visited this house, a few weeks ago, both daughters were headed out to make money to buy dinner. Political parties here pay people to attend their rallies. The people go, not to support the party, but because they want the money. They are very clear about that. This rally was a high paying one at $2.50. They figured they would pay $1.00 total in bus fare and still come home for $4.00 to buy food for dinner that night.
I remember my coworker telling me she really wanted to pull the money out of her own pocket and give it to them because the situation broke her heart. That was our first conversation about the fact that we can't go around handing out money because it is not healthy for the community we serve.
The point - this family is willing to do everything within their power to support themselves. They could be sitting back and waiting for a handout. They have every right to feel overwhelmed and depressed after losing the head of their household suddenly and unexpectedly. But they are not letting the situation control them. They are taking control of their own lives. I admire each of them immensely.
The girl who is in our club is going to school. She is also selling her mother's tortillas and tamales when she is not at school. She is respectful and helpful toward her mother. That is the kind of behavior that I would like to reward. This is the kind of family I feel honored to bless. They do exist!
God led me to exactly the right house and guided our conversation in exactly the right way so that we could see the depth of their need, as well as their drive to succeed on their own. As we climbed back up the mountain I said to my coworker, "I'm thinking about something."
She said, "I'm thinking about the same thing, but I'm really out of breath. Let's talk when we get to the top."
They don't know it yet, but they will be getting a special surprise on December 22nd. They will receive a basket of food, some toys, and gifts which we are picking out tomorrow on behalf of my generous friend.
This is what happens when I move out of the way and let God work. Can't wait to share photos next week!
Two days ago my Mom contacted me to say that she received a donation in the mail from a friend who visited Honduras with me on my first mission trip. The person wanted to bless the children I serve.
I was concerned because this is our last week of work. I didn't know how I would have time to purchase gifts and take them to the families. But God took care of that problem yesterday when my boss decided to buy baskets of food and toys for the 10 most needy families of each community. That means we have to work during our vacation. But it also means that the families will come to pick up their gifts from my boss, so they can pick up the gift from my friend as well!
I talked to my coworker because she knows the families best. We decided to pick two single mothers, one family of 10, and a Grandmother who is raising three of her grandchildren because their parents were killed.
It totally made sense logically. We talked and talked about it. But for some reason it didn't feel right.
This morning we did home visits in the community we serve. One of the families we visited was the family of 10. I left that house with a yucky feeling in my stomach. Of course, I really want to bless a huge family at Christmas! But it just felt wrong.
I talked about it with my coworker, trying to word things carefully because I was worried I would offend her. Finally she told me to say what was on my mind. I told her I can see the necessity, but I really didn't think our gift would bless that family. In fact, I thought giving them an extra Christmas gift could actually be harmful.
My coworker and I have discussed the idea of empowering people instead of enabling them. We want to help people think of solutions to their problems, rather than expecting others to solve problems for them. We want to help people learn they are capable if they apply themselves. If you are a regular reader, you have heard all of this before.
While visiting the tiny house of ten people, the family showed repeatedly that they are not willing to apply themselves. The kids are young, but dropped out of school years ago. They are not willing to work or further their education. We have to plead with them just to come to our club (where they play and get a good meal). They complain when they mistakenly believe that others were invited to a Christmas party, but they weren't included. They have come to expect handouts, but are not willing to do anything for themselves.
I certainly don't want to punish them. If I had a ton of money, I'd love to bless them. But I don't. I have one generous gift which I must use wisely.
As I explained all of this to my coworker she said, "Mary Lynn, everyone is like this. All of the families expect a handout and none of them are grateful." She wasn't being mean or negative. She was being honest.
I felt discouraged. How could that be possible? I asked her to pray with me about the situation because I did not feel God's peace about our current plan. She agreed to pray.
We continued on our way. It was a rainy day. The already slippery trails were treacherous. We had one last house to visit. I almost fell and my coworker decided we should turn around. She knows someone else who fell in that same place. The only thing you can grab onto is a barbed wire fence. The other person got hurt pretty badly there. We had turned around to leave and were walking back up the mountain when a boy from our club yelled up to us. He climbed up and took us around to a different trail which led directly to the house we needed to visit. It was perfect!
That was where we encountered the family that my coworker thought doesn't exist. They are a family who never asks for help. Maybe that's why they slipped off our radar.
At the very bottom of a valley live a widow and her two daughters. The youngest daughter is in our club. Her father died of a heart attack six months ago. Since then her grades dropped significantly and, for the first time, she failed two classes. I posted about the mothers who were going crazy, trying to get their kids enrolled in "summer school" two weeks ago.
(Sidenote/Update: I keep meaning to tell you that the girl whose father said he would not pay for any more education for his daughter is currently in school. Her mother lied about the costs of the classes and tried to manipulate to get three times more money than she needed. We ended up giving a portion of the cost of enrollment, thinking it would be healthy for them to have to pay a portion too. Looking back, we wish we had given less, or nothing. We believe this family could have come up with the money on their own and been empowered when they saw that they are capable of getting through tough situations as a family, without our help. By giving them part of the money, we denied them the opportunity for self empowerment. However, at the time we believed it was the right thing to do.)
The girl whose father died has to attend summer school. We asked how her mother paid for the classes. She said she made extra tortillas and more tamales to sell. A neighbor gave her the uniform shirt, she bought the pants herself and she still owes the school $2.50 which she will pay next week.
Then she offered us tortillas she was making and cheese (a luxury I have never received in any home visit before) which her neighbor gave her. Those two tortillas and cheese were some of the most tasty food I have ever eaten because I know how valuable they were to her. Plus they were truly delicious. She apologized for not having any water to drink. I felt guilty eating her cheese, but I hope I voiced my gratitude sufficiently for her to know that I thoroughly enjoyed every bite.
The first time I ever visited this house, a few weeks ago, both daughters were headed out to make money to buy dinner. Political parties here pay people to attend their rallies. The people go, not to support the party, but because they want the money. They are very clear about that. This rally was a high paying one at $2.50. They figured they would pay $1.00 total in bus fare and still come home for $4.00 to buy food for dinner that night.
I remember my coworker telling me she really wanted to pull the money out of her own pocket and give it to them because the situation broke her heart. That was our first conversation about the fact that we can't go around handing out money because it is not healthy for the community we serve.
The point - this family is willing to do everything within their power to support themselves. They could be sitting back and waiting for a handout. They have every right to feel overwhelmed and depressed after losing the head of their household suddenly and unexpectedly. But they are not letting the situation control them. They are taking control of their own lives. I admire each of them immensely.
The girl who is in our club is going to school. She is also selling her mother's tortillas and tamales when she is not at school. She is respectful and helpful toward her mother. That is the kind of behavior that I would like to reward. This is the kind of family I feel honored to bless. They do exist!
God led me to exactly the right house and guided our conversation in exactly the right way so that we could see the depth of their need, as well as their drive to succeed on their own. As we climbed back up the mountain I said to my coworker, "I'm thinking about something."
She said, "I'm thinking about the same thing, but I'm really out of breath. Let's talk when we get to the top."
They don't know it yet, but they will be getting a special surprise on December 22nd. They will receive a basket of food, some toys, and gifts which we are picking out tomorrow on behalf of my generous friend.
This is what happens when I move out of the way and let God work. Can't wait to share photos next week!
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