Lorenzo ♥

Yesterday as I was walking around, cleaning up, I passed by Lorenzo sitting on the steps to Jairo's office.  He looked sad.  And dirty.  He usually looks dirty, but sad is unusual.  I sat down and put my arm around him.  Lorenzo LOVES physical affection.  He can't get enough hugs.  And now that we have given him enough uniforms and clothes he usually doesn't smell bad, so you don't have to smell like stinky, dirty boy for the rest of the day if you hug him.

I hugged him and rubbed his back, but he just sat there looking upset.  I asked what was wrong.  He didn't speak.  Then his partner in crime (literally), Maria Angelica, came and sat on the other side of him.  She asked what was wrong too, but still he stared straight ahead.  So I hugged him and held him for a few minutes.  Don Juan came by.  He squatted down and looked at Lorenzo eye level.  He asked if someone had hit him.  (I think he was referring to someone at home.)  Still no response.  (I always look for signs of physical abuse, but have never seen any.)

Lorenzo during free time in the preschool class

Lorenzo is a skinny little guy.  He is always dirty.  He is extremely malnourished.  He is, as my mother would say, "A Love".  He very short and only has clothes that fit him if the church provides them.  I think Lorenzo is wonderful.

This man had to change his shirt after this picture because it smelled so strongly

So Lorenzo, Maria Angelica and I sat on the step.  (I often think about what will happen to Lorenzo and Maria Angelica when it is no longer "cool" to have a girl for your best friend.  I had a boy for my best friend from the time were were babies until fourth grade.  He moved away from my neighborhood, but stayed in the same school.  We grew apart and that was hard for me.  I hope Lorenzo and Maria Angelica can manage to maintain some sort of relationship as they get older.)

I asked Lorenzo if he was angry.  Nothing.  Then I asked if he was angry with me, since he wasn't responding to me.  Finally acknowledgement.  He looked up at me and smiled, then looked down.  He wasn't mad at me.  I hugged him for a while longer.  Then it was time for him to go.

Today Lorenzo sat next to me in the prayer circle.  Before I even realized he was there he took my arm and draped it around his shoulders just like yesterday.  I looked over and saw little Lorenzo looking up at me from under my arm.  I gave him a real hug.  He held my other hand - the one that wasn't hugging him - on his lap.  As I spoke to the group about today's expectations  he opened his tiny hand, placed my thumb so it filled his palm, rubbed my painted thumbnail with tenderness, then closed his whole hand around my thumb.  It was so beautiful!  I love Lorenzo.  I am going to be more intentional about hugging him each day.  Hugs are like nourishment for Lorenzo.

Lorenzo got over his fear of water!

Lorenzo and Merlin are Kings for a day!

Because of his size, at 8 Lorenzo is still able to sneak into the preschool class

Lorenzo in his Honduras fútbol uniform from K2!

Warning: Proceed at your own free will

This post comes with a warning.  I am frustrated about some things and will be complaining.  Probably a lot. So if you don't want to read frustrated complaints, please feel free to skip today's post.  But first let me give thanks to God because my friend Pat is out of bed and standing!  Yesterday morning he could barely lift his hand to his face.  Last night he stood.  Today he began physical therapy!!!  Praise God!

I am also grateful for the following:  We had plenty of food to feed all of the kids with huge portions of meat sauce, rice and tortillas today; I got to spend some time talking with Anna who has lived here 6 years but was born and raised in Colorado so we can talk about gringa things; The kids were awesome today; Lourdes was able to stay home and rest again today; Jairo spoke with the owners of the house in the mountains and they definitely want to rent it to me, it's only a matter of when the house will be ready for me to move in now; I found Tide brand detergent and splurged so I have clean clothes with no dirty stains for the first time in 6 months; The weather has been nice lately; My yard looks GORGEOUS after it was all trimmed yesterday and I cleaned it today;  I have a great taxi driver who does his best to always help me out; MY HEADACHE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I came home from the breakfast program and fell asleep.  I slept through Fany and Santos cutting the grass with a loud grass cutter machine right outside my bedroom window.  I was embarrassed because usually I help them with yard work.  I am afraid they thought I was being lazy and didn't want to help.  (Actually I love yard work.)  It would be very hard for them to believe that anyone could sleep through that noise.  But that is how I am when I have a headache.  I sleep all of the time until it's gone.  The good news is that for the first time in more than a week, I don't have a headache today.  I came home and cleaned up all of the trimmings and the leaves.  Our yard looks so nice!  I'm sure they will be happy to see it when they get home.

Here is my first complaint.  I raked the yard with a rake that had only 2/3rds of the teeth.  In the US, we would have called the rake useless and bought another.  Here we are grateful to have a rake with 2/3rds of the teeth.

Also, I got irritated at the Breakfast Program because when Lourdes is not there everyone has their own idea of how things should go.  I am open to ideas.  Yesterday I made a suggestion, but someone else decided to do things differently.  We spent an extra two hours when we would have been done if we had used my suggestion.

Today we had a lot of food and not so many kids.  I was sitting outside with the first group and many couldn't finish what they had on their plate.  They ended up feeding it to the birds.  We have taught them that if they are not hungry, just let us know and we will give them less food so they are not wasteful. When the second group came, two asked for smaller portions.  I called inside and asked Marlin for two smaller plates.  She understands why, and was fine, but someone else said that everyone gets the same size and they have to eat it all.  Let me tell you - I couldn't have eaten all that was on that plate.  So I went inside to try to explain.  The person said we have too much food and it will go to waste so they have to eat a big plate.  From my point of view the food goes to waste if the kids can't eat it and it gets fed to the pigeons.  But if they ask for a smaller portion and we have food left over at the end of the day, either the adults eat it for lunch, or we save it for tomorrow, or Marlin can take it home for her family.  In the end let's just say the birds were fed well today.

This leads me to another problem.  Lourdes tries to always give Marlin anything we have that is extra but Marlin is talking more and more about getting a job.  I can't blame her.  She needs to have an income for her family.  But without Marlin I don't know what will happen to the breakfast program.  She cooks all of the food every day and cleans everything afterward.  I help when I'm not with the kids and sometimes a couple of other mothers show up for an hour or two, but Marlin really does everything.  She is the first to arrive and the last to go home.  I have talked to Jairo about raising money to pay Marlin, but he said the church cannot do it because it would be illegal.  Plus I can't even raise enough money to pay my own bills yet, so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.  Basically what I'm saying is that Marlin does all of the hardest work as a volunteer and she may have to leave.  I am very worried that it will happen sooner than later.  We have no one else who is reliable and/or competent to do this job.  Also, Lourdes and I really like working with Marlin.

Clara is still in the hospital waiting for surgery.

I know this sounds really petty, but it is driving me crazy!  My hair is literally falling out by then handful.  I am not exagerrating.  When I shower, when I brush it, and all throughout the day my hair is falling out.  I can feel a huge difference when I put it in a pony tail.  I think about 1/3 of my hair has already fallen out.  My pony tail is more like a cat tail.  Today I considered shaving my head.  At this rate it may never grow back.  It is starting to effect my self esteem.  It is also very irritating to have my house and my clothes covered in hair.  The other day a friend looked at me with a disgusted look and handed me a hair, saying this is yours.  I apologized and explained that my hair is falling out.  I bought vitamins and am eating beans until I am almost not fit for society, because that is what the internet suggested.  I don't know what else to do.  Already it will take years for my hair to grow back.  I know, it's just hair.

So these are my complaints.  I fully realize that in the grand scheme of things, my complaints are pretty lame.  Some are even laughable.  But today I needed to vent.  98% of the time I am a positive person and I write about positive things.  Today I am grumpy.  For no specific reason.  I am not having any feelings of wanting to return home, or that I am not supposed to be here.  I still love Honduras.  I realize that I should be more grateful and less grumpy.  Unfortunately, as I sit to write today, I am still grumpy.  And my hair is still falling out.  And the neighbors are burning their garbage just as I hung my sheets out to dry. Well, at at least it's not raining!  And at least I have food, a roof over my head, many people who love me, and the opportunity to serve in this awesome place.

Please pray that God's will be done when it comes to Marlin.  My hope is that it is God's will for her to cook for the Breakfast Program, but we'll see.

Okay.  A funny story to finish.  Today I was sitting with the second group and one of the bigger boys, I think it was Mainor, was next to me.  He had about 3 bites of rice left on his plate, and he was struggling to finish.  I told him it's only three bites, I know he can do it.  He got this horrible look on his face and said "Perdon", then he turned away from me.  I thought he was going to vomit!  But he let out a huge burp.  Then he looked really embarrassed.  He said "Perdon" again.  I laughed and said, "I bet you have room for more food now!"  Then he laughed too and gobbled down his last three bites.  I never saw a boy be so embarrassed to burp!  Someone is teaching him good manners.   :)

Taking care of business

As of today, I have exactly one month to gain residency, or I will have to leave the country for three days to maintain a proper status with my passport.  Can't believe I have been here almost 6 months already!

Since there was no drinkable water in the house this morning, I bolted out of bed at 6:23 when I heard "Aguaaaaaa!"  Of course the water man was on the block behind the house, where I can hear him best.  I got dressed and grabbed my money, ready to play this game again.  I still think the water man taunts me.  Today it sounded like he passed by the house twice after that.  He must have changed his route because each time I ran to the front gate there was nobody there.  I gave up and showered, worried he would come while I was showering.  Finally I heard him again, but this time I only stood outside my door listening.  He was outside the gate!  I ran down the driveway and caught him as he was headed down the hill.  First task of the day - complete.  Jett and I have water for another 2 weeks.

Then I was ready to go to the Breakfast Program, but it was only 8:30.  (Yes, I spent 2 hours chasing after the illusive water man.)  I considered taking a taxi to the church early, but realized today is pancake day so they wouldn't need help cooking.  I grabbed my devotional and decided to use the time wisely until Jairo came.

Lourdes wasn't in the car today when Jairo picked me up.  I was surprised.  She has every Monday off.  Apparently she spent the whole day ironing.  Now her back is hurting a lot and she didn't sleep at all last night.  We stopped and got a newspaper. Jairo asked if I had heard about the mass killing yesterday.  Apparently someone entered a business building and started shooting randomly, killing 15 people.

I talked to Jairo about how I feel torn about how to punish the kids.  I asked for an example of when they should be sent home with no food.  He said very sternly, "Yesterday."  And then it hit me.  It is not really ME that is sending them home with no food.  They know the expectations of the Breakfast Program.  If they choose not to behave appropriately, it is THEIR behavior that causes them to go home with no food.  Okay.  I get it.  Jairo told me that if anyone misbehaved today, they will be suspended from the Breakfast Program for the rest of the week!  Needless to say, we fed about 50 perfect angels today.  Lourdes and Walter were not there, but the kids prayed, ate, cleaned and did not hit each other.  I made sure to send a text to Lourdes to tell her how well the kids did today.  I told her if she needs another day at home, we are doing fine.  At least I don't feel like a complete failure today.

Yesterday I contacted my boss at my last job, where I was known as one of the strictest staff of all.  In fact my nickname was "Sarg" for Sergeant.  He pointed out to me that the boys I used to work with in the US were in the position to be disciplined because they had done awful things to deserve to be there.  (I used to work with sex offenders.)  The kids at the Breakfast Program are in bad situations through no fault of their own.  He said maybe that is why I am having a harder time disciplining them.  He was right!  That was exactly it!

I kept that in mind today when one of the boys was disrespectful.  He has no mother and no father in the home with him.  He is raised by siblings who tell him he is worthless.  He has no control over anything in his whole life.  So when he is a little disrespectful, I need to keep in mind the delicate balance of teaching him how to behave appropriately, while still understanding that he lives in a world that I can never comprehend.  In the grand scheme of things if he wants to laugh and giggle when I reprimand him, that is not so bad.  I will pick my battles.  I will learn to be more consistent with him.  I will show him love even when his behavior is frustrating or disrespectful, but also give the discipline he needs to be a successful member of society.  It surely is a delicate balance!

I got a lot of emails today about my friend Pat, who has been unconscious in ICU for weeks.  He is mostly conscious now, but weak.  He may leave the ICU today!  We are giving praise for this.

On the other hand Clara, the mother of Estefany and Karla, has been in the hospital for a few days.  She keeps getting moved from room to room until the doctors have time to operate on her.  We are not exactly sure what is wrong with Clara.  She first had a herniated disc, but now she has horrible pain, sometimes with a lot of swelling and occasionally a rash, in seemingly random places on her body.  Her girls are both teens.  They seem to be holding up well, waiting for their Mom to have surgery.  In the kind of hospital that she can afford, they never know when she will go into surgery.  Basically it is whenever the doctors have time and nobody is there in worse condition than she.

The older kids had their class about self esteem today with the psychologist.  They love the class, but it makes a long day for us.  When everything was almost completely clean and only 3 kids were left eating, I saw Jario headed for his car.  I asked if he was going to pick up Josselyn.  He said yes, and he could drop me off on the way home.

Here not many teenagers drive.  Jairo is the only one who drives in his family.  That leaves a lot of responsibility in Jairo's hands.  He has to get Joss to and from school every day.  He usually drives me to and from the breakfast program.  Lately he has been having to care for Lourdes' mother and brother as well.  They are struggling and need a lot of help in various ways.  On top of taking care of everyone, he has a full time job at the church.  It is not easy to be in Jairo's shoes.  I told Jairo that if I get the house in the mountains I would be happy to pick up Joss from school every day and take her home.  That would help a little.

So, the Breakfast Program went smoothly today.  It was a much better day than yesterday.  Pat is doing better, Lourdes is having a tough time, Clara is waiting for surgery and I am going to pick some limes from my lime tree and make some corn on the cobb, with lime and salt.  Yum!  I love picking things fresh from the trees outside my house.  Looks like a thunderstorm is rolling in.  Evening thunderstorms are common and the  perfect way to relax at the end of the day.  I am already looking forward to tomorrow!

Delicate Balance

This morning the phone rang right at the same time that Jairo normally calls me to walk up to the pulperia to meet him.  It was Jairo, but he asked me if I could take a cab to the breakfast program.  The van is still not running right.  Luckily my taxista was up on the corner where he sits when he doesn't have another customer, so I got to the church quickly.  When I got there the place was FULL of kids.  Today is a holiday - teacher's day, so there is no school.  Marlin had them all circled up, ready to pray, but then she breaks it to me.  I have to sing with them until they have time to cook more food because there are more kids than food.  This has never happened before.

I don't know many songs in Spanish, so I had to ask the kids for help.  The girls were very helpful, but the older boys were just the opposite.  Eunice had to come out of the office to punish one of them.  Then I ended up punishing three more.  Punishment at the breakfast program means getting your food last.  It also means sitting separately from the rest of the group while we are singing and praying.  Tomorrow Lourdes will talk to the older boys.  I have a hard time because really, the way they were behaving they should have been asked to leave.  But I just can't ask them to leave knowing I am taking away what may be the only food they get all day.  Lourdes will figure out how to handle things tomorrow, because otherwise this could be a weekly occurance now that Lourdes stays home every Monday.

The good news is that they did clean every dish and leave early.  The adults had eaten and cleaned up by 1pm.  I was about to call my taxista to take me back home when Jairo arrived.  Then Lourdes' mother and brother came.  They had been at the hospital.  It was a long day for them.  At  5 a.m. they got on a bus and were held up at knife point.  Nestor, Lourdes' brother, was almost in tears as he spoke of it.  He has had a rough few days.  Last week he lost his job at the airport and now today he and his mother were held up at knife point.  I think he felt bad that he couldn't protect his mother.  He is a little bit mentally delayed.  To me, it is not that noticeable.  He is a kind man and a hard worker.  Lourdes' mother said this is the first time in her life that she has ever been held up.  

On the way home I was telling Walter I felt bad for Nestor because he is still really upset.  Walter laughed.  I asked why he would laugh when Nestor was almost crying.  Walter said it's over and in the past.  Now all you can do is laugh.  I didn't feel like laughing.  But I do feel grateful that they are both unharmed, just shaken up.

I feel bad that I can't control all of the kids when Lourdes and Walter aren't there.  I think it would have been fine if the food was ready, but having to entertain them all with children's songs is hard.  The older kids don't like to sing silly kids' songs.  I wish I could have done better.  Sadly, I think the way I could have done better is punish them more quickly and maybe even more strongly.  I'll have to talk to Lourdes about how to handle this in the future.  And also talk to the kitchen about having food ready on Mondays so we can pray, feed them, and they can leave.  It is just really disappointing when the younger kids behave well and it is the older kids (who should be setting a good example) who have the poorest behavior.  Today was not the best day.  But we fed almost 60 kids so I guess the basic point of the program was met.  I just like it so much more when we can have fun and enjoy our time together.  I don't like having to be strict with them.  These kids have such a difficult lives, I like the church to be their refuge.

A new boy I don't know was pretending to karate chop the boy next to him while we were praying.  The boy next to him ignored it.  I tried getting his attention but he was too busy karate chopping.  Finally I walked over and stood in front of the karate chopper.  I whispered firmly, "We are praying!"  Then I lifted my right arm to make the motion of covering my own eyes.  (If they have trouble concentrating Lourdes taught them to cover their eyes.)  But when I lifted my arm up he jumped back in his seat and covered his face with his hands.  After seeing that reaction I knew he has definitely been hit before.  He thought I was going to hit him!  I felt horrible.  I asked him to have respect for God and sit quietly.  I should have told him that I will never, ever hit him.

We can't imagine what these kids' home lives are like.  For that reason I am not quick to discipline them, although it might be what they need most.  In the US when I worked with boys I never had this problem.  I was always one of the strictest staff.  But here it is so different.  I am still trying to find the delicate balance.

Sunday

I finally got out of bed today and went to church.  I've had a horrible migraine that will not go away.  I hope maybe tomorrow...  Fany has been checking in on me.  I had migraines once before here.  It's strange, whenever I get migraines Fany's husband has them as well, so tonight I tried allergy meds, just for the heck of it because nothing else has helped.  Maybe allergies are the reason we both have been complaining of migraines at the same time.

Friday I got out of bed long enough to do a little photo shoot for Fany's daughter, Laura.  We took a bunch of pictures of Laura and posted them on Facebook so family can see how Laura has grown.

At church today they asked me to take up the collection.  That was really nice.  It made me feel like an official member of the church since I have never done it before.  I also enjoyed that one of the Moms from Los Pinos whom I don't know very well chose to sit next to me.  She is the mother of some of my favorite kids.  Her daughter, Cindi, is in preschool.  Her son, Christian (Conejo) stole my heart years ago.  She knows I adore her kids.

After church we all bought soup and sat and ate together.  The soup had tripe in it, which I have avoided until now.  Today I ate it and it was good!  But then my headache kicked in.

Karla brought Dana Sophia and Valery over today so they could "know" my cat.  That's how you say it in Spanish.  Now they know Jett.  She was so good for them.  She didn't hide.  She played and let them pet her.  She is a good example for people who don't know much about cats.

As they were leaving Karla said listen.  We heard a parade coming.  Yesterday was Independence Day in Honduras.  I thought maybe this would be another Independence Day parade.  It was only a couple blocks from my house.  But Karla said it was a political parade.  Sometimes political activities can be violent, so I didn't go check it out.

After Karla left I fell asleep.  Now I'm awake long enough to drink some water, take some Benedryl and get caught up on this.  I am praying that the Benedryl will work and my head will be better by tomorrow because Lourdes has Mondays off from now on, so I will be running the breakfast program.

I talked with my possible future landlord.  The house in the mountains has hot water, which I have never seen in a house here.  It also has a balcony off the bedroom!  I told him I would really like to live in the mountains.  He said he would like for me to rent the house, but he is not sure when it will be done.  I am supposed to go see the house soon.  Maybe Friday.  I like where I live now, but I would love to live in the mountains!

El Dia de Niño

Today we celebrated El Dia de Niño (The Day of the Child) although the actual holiday was yesterday.  The church celebrated on Sunday, the schools celebrated yesterday, the First Lady's sister threw a party for the Breakfast Program today and we will have our own party for the kids on Thursday.  Can you tell this is an important holiday here?  At the time this photo was taken, there were 89 kids.  More came as morning classes let out.

Before the First Lady's sister arrived we had a time of prayer.  The kids prayed for Pat and K2, as they always do.  They also gave thanks for the special party they are having today.  They don't know we are doing another party Thursday.  They will be so surprised!  But this way we don't have to worry about having the whole neighborhood show up.  Today there were about 7 kids whom we've never seen before, which was less than I expected.  Lourdes talked to the kids about their attendance, going around the whole circle to address each of them individually.  She explained that the party is a gift for them, for the kids who are here every day participating in the program.  Why should they give their gift to someone who never participates any other day, but shows up for the party?

The kids prayed for the boys from El Sembrador.  The boys all stood up and received the prayer as well as advice from the kids.  They talked to the group about how hard they have to study and that they have to be well behaved because they represent the church.  Next year Lourdes intends to send five additional boys to the private school if they can pass the entrance exam.  It is very expensive, but it gets them away from Los Pinos and for some, away from unhealthy family situations.  For all of them it is their greatest chance to have a productive life.

Then the fancy trucks began to arrive.  Lourdes kept the kids busy singing while they hung piñatas.  They even had a jumping contest!  Memo (far left) is tiny, but he can jump!

Finally three piñatas were hung across the church rafters.

I didn't know that they would be replaced with three more piñatas which were waiting in the wings!

The First Lady's sister went around the circle and gave everyone a high five.  Of course there were a few, like Lorenzo and Daniel, who disregarded protocol and jumped into her arms for a hug.

The First Lady's Sister introduced three young ladies who painted the kids faces, and three more ladies who braided hair and painted fingernails.  (The girls got some nice pampering!)

The hair and nail painting station

Beautiful Vanessa

There was a Superman piñata, Hello Kitty, a Smurf, Mickey Mouse, Scooby Doo and Snow White.  I had never been to a piñata party before and I was in charge of all of the younger kids!  Luckily I had the help of a lady who had clearly done this before and Marlin too, since she didn't have to cook anything today.

She took Memo and Carlos under her wing

Belkis got some good swings in

Violet is smiling!  (Not crying)  Misael waited patiently.

Go Violet!

Good job Memo!

We had some near misses with the big stick but nobody in my group was hit

They gathered the candy in their shirts

And then we lined up for lunch.

Little ones first!  These are the kids in preschool class:

All of the kids until you get to the black shirts attend preschool with me

They ate subs, chips, and pineapple turnover.  They each got a box of toys, a box of food and a cup of coke.  They really wanted to take the food home to their family.  We had to really push them to eat their food.  Some had never had a sandwich before and really didn't know how to eat a sandwich.  The held it like an ice cream cone and nibbled on the end.  I had to show them how to eat the sandwich.  When the food was mostly eaten, the did a really good job cleaning up.  I noticed that our circle was the cleanest of all the age groups!  I'll tell them tomorrow I was proud of how clean they left our area and also how good most of their manners were.

The First Lady's sister came over and said goodbye.  She talked to each of them individually and asked some of their names.  She was really sweet to them and they seemed to like her.

Here are some cute photos for you to enjoy ~

Lorenzo :)

Upside down Meylin

Violet asleep on the ground.  Again.

Big sister always takes good care of little brother

Silly boys

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Afterward we were all a little slap happy with the success of the party.
Jairo pretended to preach in his special jacket to entertain the adults.

In the evening I did some errands with Jose and Karla.  Karla took me to a store called STOCK.  It has everything you could ever want from underwear to furniture to toolboxes and food!  We found some meds at the pharmacy that I've been paying big bucks for my Mom to send from the US.  Here they are over the counter and waaaaaay cheaper.  That was an exciting find and saved me a trip to the Dr. for the migraines I've been getting lately.

When I got home I let Estrella out of the front house.  She ran to my doorstep where we both found this:

on my doorstep!  I was in a sticky situation.  The cat was trying to get out, so I couldn't open the door, but the dog kept lying down on top of the spider, begging me to pet her tummy!  What a pickle!!  Finally I picked up the dog, stepped over the spider, threw open the door and ran inside.  That was when I realized the gate wasn't locked and I had to go back out there.  Needless to say I'm still alive.  The gate is locked.  And last I checked, the spider was still there.  I think it's a tarantula.

Wrapping up the weekend

Saturday I went to the mall for the first time by myself.  I set it up so that my cab driver dropped me off and came back later to pick me up.  Even got some grocery shopping done in the end.  Malls here all have supermarkets inside.

I got some embroidery floss to make bracelets to give to my class for The Day of the Child.  I browsed through all of the enormously high heeled shoes.  Found a pumice stone, a welcome mat for my front door and a cookie sheet.  After more than a month of searching I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a heating pad here.  Nor are there daily vitamin packs.  My hair has been falling out by the hand full for more than a month.  I did some research on-line and I think it was caused by losing too much weight a few months ago.  I am eating everything they recommend - except broccoli.  I can't find any broccoli in the super.  Nothing seems to help.  Pharmacies only carry Centrum.

It felt nice to have some independence, even if I was still relying on my taxista.  He is so kind.  He dropped me off at home with my groceries and new doormat and told me to call him any time I need him - that he is "at my orders".

Sunday everyone was late for church so I took the extra time while I was waiting for them to get dressed up and even put on makeup.  A number of people said I looked like a Honduran woman.  I'm not sure if it was the high heels or the makeup. In any case it was nice to receive the compliments.

Lourdes took time during the service and asked the whole church to pray for Pat Pike in the US.  He did not heal as doctors expected.  The whole church stood and prayed.  It was really cool to me, that a whole church would stand and pray for someone when most have never met Pat.  Lourdes explained that the kids from the Breakfast Program are praying day and night for Pat and invited the church to do the same.  I took pictures and sent them to Pat's friend so that when Pat is conscious he can see them and also so that the people who are in Salt Lake know they have support here in Honduras.

About 15 minutes later my phone vibrated.  There was a message from Pat's friend that he woke a little bit.  He was shown the pictures of the kids from the breakfast program and he smiled.  This was huge progress.  I stood up and went over to where Lourdes was seated.  She was teary eyed as she read the text.

After church I had planned to treat myself to Chinese food.  I haven't eaten out, except as a guest of someone else, since I came to Honduras.  In Honduras most people either make homemade soup or buy Chinese food every Sunday after church.  Hondurans eat a LOT of Chinese food.  I planned to follow the tradition, but fell asleep before I could walk down the street to the Chinese restaurant.  By the time I woke up I thought of a million things in the house that I should eat and it was thunderstorming again.  Maybe next Sunday.

Lourdes got permission from the head of the church elders to take Mondays off from now on.  Today there were not many kids at the Breakfast Program because today is The Day of the Child, which is a big deal here.  The kids showed up with lots of little candies and some small toys.  People had pick up trucks FULL of piñatas.  The kids' big joke was to wish all of the adults a happy Day of the Child, pointing out the childlike side that each adult has.

When the program was over, Jairo made his special chilis with lime.  I was standing too close and got squirted in the face by a really hot pepper.  My forehead had a burning spot which didn't go away for a few hours, even after I scrubbed it with soap and water twice.

Walter was kind enough to drive me all over the city for hours today.  The internet I've been using from the neighbors hasn't worked for a few days now so I figured it's time to invest in my own internet connnection.  There was a GNC across from the internet store, so I got some vitamins finally.  Those were expensive, so I got enough to last until I can get back to the states where I can stock up.  We got Science Diet cat food for Jetty.  They even had a special hairball formula, which is helpful because Jetty has had a lot of hairballs since she moved here.  I was shocked at how inexpensive the cat food was here.  We found the only store in town that sells hot water bottles.  In Honduras there is no such thing as a heating pad.  There is not even a word for it!  But I now have a vibrating hot water bottle which will feel awesome on my sore neck tonight.

Tonight I got home and called people in the states with my new, stronger internet connection.  I got a special deal through Skype with unlimited calls anywhere for only $2.99/month.  Until now I haven't had a strong enough connection to call anyone.  I talked with my Mom, my Aunt, and my friend Jody in SLC.  It was nice to talk on the phone for free!  I didn't have to feel rushed to squeeze everything in as quickly as possible.  It will be nice to be able to call the US whenever I want to.

Today I realized that I will not be in the US for September 11th this year.  It feels strange to be in a different country for September 11th.  In a selfish way, it feels nice to be away from all of the media.  But on the other hand I feel a little guilty.  My Uncle Alan was in the pentagon on September 11th.  He was not able to call home until 2:30 pm that day.  For many hours the family was not sure that he was alive.  For me, September 11th has a slightly bittersweet feeling, because my family all came out alive and I am grateful for that.

Jairo may have found a car for me.  His brother called today to say that there is a car which might be perfect for me.  It is being shipped from the US right now.  I don't know when it will get here, or if it will really be a good car once it gets here, but Jairo seems hopeful.  Jairo is also looking into relocating me to the mountains.  I have wanted to live in the mountains since the first time I ever visited Honduras.  When I got off the plane in March I asked Jairo if I could move to the mountains, but he said there was not a way to keep me safe there and safety has to be the first priority.  I love my little house in my gated community in the city.  But today I learned that there is a house in the mountains which is even more safe than where I currently live.  It is on the gated property of a family from the church.  They live in a house on the same property.  I will be happy if I can move up to the mountains.  But if I end up staying in this house I will be happy too.  Moving will mean a longer commute to church and it will also mean that I will struggle financially to furnish the new place.  My house now was fully furnished when I moved in.  Homes in Honduras don't have stoves or refrigerators so that will be an immediate expense if I move.  In this house my dining room is also my living area, so I don't have any living room furniture at all...  But those things will come if I am suppose to be in the mountains.

Must get some sleep.  Tomorrow the sister of the First Lady is throwing a pizza party for the Breakfast Program.  I am a little worried about all of Los Pinos trying to invade the party, but the kids have all been told that only those who attend regularly are invited to this event.  I will not be wearing a tank top and yoga pants tomorrow, in case I am pulled in front of tv cameras again.  I'll be sure to get a lot of pictures and post them for you.  Blogging should not be a 3 hour ordeal now that I have my own internet!

Pat continues to do better and better.  Thank you to everyone who is praying for him.  He is breathing on his own and is responsive when people speak to him.  Doctors say his body has started to heal, his vital signs have improved, and his white blood cells count is much better.  Praise God!

New Shoes for ALL!!!

Today in preschool we sang "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes" in Spanish and English.  Then we talked about how God made each of us unique.  God made Cessia with soft, curly hair:

Cessia with her new shoes from the First Lady!

Everyone drew a picture of themselves.  I forgot how preschoolers draw themselves.  It was so interesting to see.  Lourdes let some of the older kids come into the class today too, so we had one table that had circles for a head, with eyes, nose and mouth.  The arms stuck out of the circle where ears should be and legs stuck out of the bottom of the circle.  It was so cute!  Misael's mouth was above his nose - that is not how God made him.  But he was having a rough day today overall.  First he hit Cessia in the face as they were sitting down.  Then we asked him to sit in a chair away from Cessia where he cried until he vomited.  Misael is never violent.  He is very kind, loving and gentle.  I don't know why he would strike Cessia.

At noon Lourdes asked me to keep the younger kids with me in the classroom.  They were not being sent home because the First Lady of Honduras was visiting at 1pm!  I got to work cleaning the classroom in case she happened to look inside.  Cessia and Misael played together the whole time.  :)

At 1 pm a bunch of people from the press came.  Then a lady came and set up a table with cookies, candy and new shoes for every child who regularly attends the breakfast program.  Soon another car came.  A beautiful lady got out.  Eunice had said they would send a cousin or distant relative to represent the first lady, so I asked Jairo who the beautiful lady was.  He said it was really the First Lady!  Wow!

All of the kids behaved perfectly.  They sang songs and raised their hands to speak to her.  They thanked her for things she has donated in the past such as backpacks for school and packages of food.  They told her that her gifts were very helpful necessities for them.

Oh, but I forgot to say - as she walked out to stand in front of the group she grabbed my arm and said, "Come with me."  I had no choice but to follow as she yanked me to stand next to her.  So I smiled proudly as the kids expressed their gratitude.  I thought about the fact that I was wearing yoga pants and a tank top.  Oops!  I didn't expect to be in front of TV and newspaper cameras today!

After receiving all of the words from the kids, she told them they are all very special to her and for that reason she would like to come back and spend a whole morning with them next week in honor of The Day of the Child, which is a HUGE holiday here.  Then she told them that she is not really the First Lady, but she is the First Lady's sister.  Apparently she is identical to the first lady because every single person was confused.  Eunice didn't know until after she left that it wasn't the First Lady after all.  She was very sweet, beautiful and kind to the children.

Next week she will come back again to throw a pizza party!  With piñatas!!!  She said she wanted to feed the kids something they never usually eat so a pizza party will be perfect.  I am really excited for the kids.  They are going to go crazy!

Another lady came to visit part way through.  She is the wife of a man who is currently running for president. She seemed to be there more for the photo opps.  Her husband is a famous tv broadcaster.  Lourdes and Jairo told her they see him every morning on TV.  She made a big point to say that she will always support this church and anything we need.  I don't mean to be negative, but it did not seem as genuine as the First Lady's sister.  She seemed to be fishing for votes for her husband.  She left and the First Lady's sister stayed to help the kids try on shoes, check out our kitchen to see what she would need to bring from home for the party, and make plans for next Tuesday.

New Shoes!

As she left I told Jairo that I felt very awkward standing in front like that.  He said it was best that I represent the church in that circumstance because he cannot be photographed with any political figures who might use his photo to say that he is endorsing them.  He also said very seriously that God seems to be calling me to be photographed a lot lately - with the photos from the conference last week and then being yanked up in front today.  I said it just looks good in the press to have a gringa in the photo.  He seemed to disagree and said maybe I will be a famous gringa, but didn't expand.  Jairo is mysterious like that when he believes something might happen in the future.  He prefers not to say anything until it actually comes true.  Hmmmm...  I wonder what he is thinking.

Lourdes, Jairo and Walter are all leaving tomorrow for Olancho where they will pick up the kids who go to private school there.  They are meeting with teachers on Friday morning and then bringing the kids home for a week's vacation.  Lourdes said I will be in charge of everything while they are gone.  I said I hope the church doesn't fall apart.

As all of the cars were pulling in today with the "First Lady", Jairo came out of a meeting.  He started asking about my passport and how long I can legally stay here.  I got nervous for a second because thought maybe I needed to show my passport to be in the presence of the First Lady, and I didn't have it with me.  I told him I am legal until October 18th.  He said he was just meeting with a man about my residency.  Gaining residency here used to be difficult, but they changed the laws about a year ago to make it an easier process.  However, Jairo learned today that the laws were changed recently to make it harder again.  So the church has to get a lawyer and it costs more money than we expected for me to stay here past October 18th.  Jairo said he was told not to worry about it, so we are not going to worry about it.  But he did seem a little concerned.  I am really excited about this!  I can't wait until the day I can call myself an official resident of Honduras!!!

Hugs from the First Lady's sister

MORE Hugs!

Carlo Alberto with candy and new shoes

My Conejo ;)  Christian with his new shoes

Beautiful Linda with new shoes
This photo is dedicated to Pat Pike who is currently very sick in the hospital at this moment

Praying for Pat

Spent the past few days praying for Pat Pike.  He is a friend of mine from K2 who adores Honduras and the kids here as much as I do.  Jairo and I both have the same feeling that everything will be okay in the end, but right now my friend is really struggling.  He is in ICU with tubes in his stomach and nose.  His bowels are not working and they can't figure out what is wrong.

Today all of the kids at the Breakfast Program got on their knees and prayed for Pat.  It was beautiful hearing their prayers.  We knelt in a circle, holding hands.  We prayed for at least a half hour.  Even Elvin, my most active preschooler, prayed diligently.  Both Lourdes and I praised him afterward because he has such a hard time being still.

Elvin praying for Pat

After the Breakfast Program was over Lourdes had her discipleship group.  The ladies are all from Los Pinos, the community across the street.  Their kids all attend the breakfast program.  Lourdes invited me to pray for Pat with them.

Lourdes prayed first.  Her prayer is always beautiful.  In Honduras when someone is praying you hear the sound of "S" from others around you.  The first time I visited it took me a while to understand, and then to get used to.  When someone says something that you agree with you say, "Si" or "Si, Senor" (Yes God).  Sometimes people even go off on their own little tangent while another person is praying out loud, but it is not distracting.  To me, it makes the prayer feel more powerful.

Lourdes prayed first, then I prayed.  I started out in Spanish.  With the kids I always pray in Spanish, but it is not easy for me.  My friend, Marlin, who is a part of the group said she understands because prayer is so much about what you are feeling at that moment.  It takes away from the moment to have to stop and think about conjugating verbs correctly.  So this time my prayer changed to English half way through.  Marlin prayed after me.

Marlin and I have had an instant and mutually heartfelt connection since the first time we met.  She was the first new person who sat down and talked to me when I came to Honduras in March.  (Looking back, I think this was the hand of God, because she is very shy.)  Marlin is a very close and special friend.  Her kids are incredible at prayer.  Now I know why.  She is passionate and hypnotizing when she prays.  It was awesome.  But something strange happened.  Marlin does not speak any English at all, yet we were both moved to use some of the same exact, very specific words.  For example, I prayed in English and she in Spanish, that Pat would rise from his bed with a smile.  There was no way she could have understood that I had just said the same thing.  God was clearly with us in that group.

The Luckiest Girl in the World?

I shouldn't be at home right now.  Jose and Karla had planned a long weekend up North after the conference finished Friday. Jose put all new tires on his car and took it to be cleaned, but they cleaned the motor and then it wouldn't run.  For the first time since I got here, I was anxious to have a car of my own.  Walter's truck isn't running well enough to go that far so we all took the bus to the conference and home again, but we had to miss out on visiting the lakes, hot springs and Walter's family in Siguatepeque.

The conference was excellent.  It was at a beautiful retreat center outside of Siguatepeque.  Wednesday evening before the conference Lourdes said she hoped I would be able to understand what they said at the conference.  I had been worried all week about Jose's bad tires, so I hadn't even considered worrying about the language barrier.  As I headed inside to pack Wednesday night I decided all I could do was pray.  I was excited to call Lourdes Thursday afternoon to let her know that I was understanding EVERYTHING.  Every hour or two I would hear a word and have to ask Jose the meaning of it, but I thought that was pretty awesome!

The conference started at 10 a.m. and finished at 8:30 pm the first night.  After dinner my brain was a little tired, but the information was really helpful and interesting.  In total there were about 8 groups who did presentations.  Alexis Pacheco, from our church, was the first presenter.  He spoke about violence in general and how it is affecting Honduras.  Did you know that in  two of the four most violent cities in the world were in Honduras?  (San Pedro Sula is #2 and Tegucigalpa, where I live, is #4.)  The worst part is that in 2011 violence other countries (except Beliz) is holding steady or decreasing, but violence in Honduras has been getting worse and worse.  Since most homocides are people between the ages of 10-29, it seems right to work with that group of people.  This conference was about how to connect with jovenes (teens-early 20's), how to guide them, lead them, teach them, influence them in a positive way, keep them safe and away from drugs.  There were a lot of amazing people at the conference.  Many people were pastors.  I saw license plates from Belice.  I felt really honored to be there.

As everyone else was settling in to bed Karla asked me if I wanted to go into town for ice cream, so we piled into a truck with some of her friends and went to a cool little ice cream shop.  It felt a little bit like sneaking out after curfew, since everyone else was going to sleep.  We closed down the ice cream shop and headed back to go to bed.  I fell asleep immediately at 10 pm, which is unheard of for me, but my brain was exhausted.

The next morning I was planning not to shower, but when Karla came out complaining about the heat of the water I couldn't resist.  Wow!  It was the best shower I've had since I got here.  There were two knobs, like in the states, one for hot and one for cold.  So exciting!  I had to turn on a little cold water because Karla was right - those showers were HOT!

We walked up the hill to the conference center in time to hear them starting to sing.  I recognized, but didn't  know most of the songs well enough to sing along.  My favorite song was the one we sang before each meal.  It was a prayer that there be bread for those who are hungry, and for those who have bread, may they hunger for justice.

Many people asked what I am doing in Honduras, what church I am with, and how long I plan to stay here.  They became very emotional and grateful when I told them I am here for as long as God allows me to live in Honduras.  They thanked me for being here and said they think the breakfast program sounds amazing.  During a break a bunch of people asked to have their pictures taken with me.  What an honor to have these special people want their picture taken with ME!

We headed back by bus - here that means school bus.  Our butts were already sore from sitting for two days.  I never realized how hard the seats of a school bus are!  I have made this same trip now two weekends in a row.  Each time I have been stunned by how beautiful it is.  I am a mountain girl.  I would prefer not to have to live in the city, but for now it is safest.  Getting out into the mountains refreshes me.  So on the way home I put on headphones and looked out the window, soaking in everything I could see.  The school bus was good for that, since it travels slowly.  I looked out over the mountains and rivers and tried to see every tree, every blade of grass, every trail that the native people have carved out in the mountains over the years.  As we passed through the part where most of the indigenous people live, a woman stood outside of her house bathing herself.  Nobody else on the bus seemed to notice.  I felt sad that the woman and her family have probably lived on that land since long before a four lane highway ran past.  Now she has to bathe on the side of a four lane highway.  A few feet down the road were her three kids, one freshly bathed.  He swung his feet up into a tree and hung there like a little monkey, putting on a show for the bus.  Further along there were two boys on a bike.  One steered, the the other petaled on a road that ran parallel to ours.  Let me tell you, these boys had two person biking down to a science.  A car in front of them stopped suddenly, but they swerved quickly into a ditch and kept right on going.  I watched as they got back onto the road and wondered where they might be going.  There was no town in sight.  I got the feeling they might do this every day.  Then suddenly they looked up at the bus, as straight at me.  I smiled at them and they smiled back.  Then, on impulse, I waved.  Their smiles got bigger and they waved back excitedly.  I still smile thinking about those boys and how they picked me out of that crowd on the bus.

At one point the natural beauty of the mountains almost brought me to tears.  I would have allowed the tears to flow, but I didn't want to have to find the words to explain how I was feeling at that moment if anyone asked why I was crying.  So I fought back the tears.

I'll never forget that specific place.  I'll see it again. Far below the road a river carved through the mountains and came to a "V", then wound its way back into the mountains.  There was some kind of power there that was overwhelming.  I thought to myself, "I am the luckiest person in the world."  Those were the words that came to mind first.  But then I realized that luck was not what put me in that place at that time.  Luck could never take a little girl from Lyons Falls, NY and place her in the mountains of Honduras, surrounded by people who love her and more beauty than most people ever get to see in their entire lives.  Only God could give me this gift.  It is God's blessings and love for me that allow me to be in a place I love, with people I love, who also love me, learning things and seeing things that are rare and amazing.  For a moment I started thinking, "Why me?  What did I do to deserve to be here?"  But quickly I knew I did nothing to deserve this.  Nothing I could do would be worthy of this.  This is simply the path God has chosen for me.  I am so grateful that lately His path has been full of so much beauty and love.

Getting home from the bus wasn't easy.  Everyone was headed in different directions with no cars, but I knew not to worry.  Everyone here looks out for me.  It started to rain, so we had to abort the plan of catching a cab at the mall because all of the cabs would be full.  But I finally got home safely.  Walter asked if he could come in to use the bathroom before he headed up the mountain to his house.  He is the only one of my friends who doesn't like Jett.  He calls her Mel, for Mel Zelaya, the former president who was taken out of his bed and removed from the country because he refused to follow the constitution.

As he was leaving, Walter noticed Jett's litter box and asked, "Is that was her house?"  (It's got a cover.)
I said, "No, that is her bathroom."
He asked, "Does she sleep in there?"
I said, "No.  She uses it as a bathroom."
He asked, "For everything?" sounding shocked.
I wasn't sure what he meant exactly, but I said "Yes, she does everything in there."
He was very curious and sat down next to the box.  Then he asked if she would use it.  I can't make her go on demand.  Usually she never uses it in front of people but right at that moment she walked toward the box.  I figured she would sniff around and leave, but she went inside.  He was so excited, but said, "She's going to lie down!"
I said, "No, she is urinating."   Then he asked how I taught her to use the box.  I told him it was natural instinct for cats, I really didn't have to teach her.  I said in the US, this is extremely common.
He watched in amazement.  I couldn't help but laugh.  He didn't care.  When she came back out his eyes were wide and he said "WOW!"  He couldn't believe it!  Walter has now changed his mind about cats.  He said he thinks everyone should have a cat because then you would never come home to "surprises" on the floor, like dogs sometimes leave behind.  Jetty and her litter box won him over.

CLICK ON "OLDER POSTS" to check out my weekend get away with Lourdes and Jairo for fishing!